I Hate Christmas (2022) s02e04 Episode Script

1
[dramatic, bass-heavy beat playing]
Uh, did we sleep here?
I don't know. Yeah?
Mmm. We ate the panettone.
I remember that.
[snorts]
- What?
- It all makes sense now.
"Contains THC".
Panettone alla cannabis.
Oh my word, Pippa!
So that's why.
At least it didn't have ginger,
or it would've given me a tummy ache.
It all makes sense now.
What? What makes sense?
We danced.
No.
You told me about your family.
It was the first time my mum left home
- No.
- And then
[imitates explosion] I'm hungry.
[weak chuckle]
Listen, that guy last night, Bruno.
Curly hair, veterinary doc,
He wasn't bad, huh?
Should I look for his number?
Let's be honest.
I tried to have fun with my friends,
but it didn't work out.
I tried to help you,
and all I've got is a headache.
So, the only way to stop suffering
is to move on.
Move on where?
Out there. We have to get out there.
Yes. You're going to go out
with Pippa, aren't you?
I haven't replied to her yet.
But you're pleased she asked you out?
I'm flattered. But no, I just
want to thank her for the panettone.
I've already told you,
until Monica goes to university,
I'm done with the love game.
- Okay
- Enough.
You thank Pippa,
I'll go out with Bruno, hm?
Yes, Filippo. Yes!
Good.
That's what we've got to do.
We have to move forward.
We have to keep moving forward.
- [yelps]
- Pillar.
Whatever, there's bound to be
obstacles on the way!
The important thing
is not to question things too much,
because thinking too much
is really bad for you.
Anyway, I honestly don't remember a thing.
[eccentric, lively music playing]
I HATE CHRISTMAS 2
12 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS
[church bell tolling]
Bruno? Hiya.
Hi. It's Gianna. We met the other night.
Yes, the poodle girl. That's right.
No, I was just wondering
if you're busy tonight.
Do you want to meet up, hmm?
Fantastic, all right.
Perfect! Well, see you then.
Bye. Bye-bye.
Didi, can you give me a hand
with the Christmas shopping, cause
[singing in Italian]
Silent night, holy night ♪
[in English] If you say a word to anyone,
I'll tell everyone you snore like a pug.
I don't snore.
- Welcome back.
- Good morning.
Anyway, there's nothing wrong
with a bit of singing.
And you were
part of the high school choir?
- I don't understand what you said.
- I didn't say anything. I said nada.
You're always looking at what I'm doing.
Mind your own business.
You're seeing Umberto today.
You remember what you were doing
the last time you saw him, don't you?
Umberto changed all his shifts.
Apart from staff meetings,
I maybe see him once, at best!
- Who scheduled this meeting for the staff?
- The matron did.
Oh.
- You think Umberto will come?
- I haven't seen him.
Good morning.
[staff greeting matron]
I called you all here
because as usual for Christmas this year,
we'll be carrying out
the customary gifts to the patients.
- [phone chimes]
- Oh, sorry.
And And we're doing it tonight.
Oh, tonight? Isn't that a bit early, no?
Some patients are being discharged soon,
and it would be a shame
for them to miss it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Sorry I'm late, I was in the bathroom.
The bathroom, you know what that is?
It's that place people go to
when they have certain needs
[Gianna chuckling tersely]
So, white cards for the helpers
and red cards for Santa Claus.
Can you start, Gianna?
Go on then, I'll break the ice.
[all] Ooh!
White!
- White!
- All helpers.
[all exclaiming]
Swap if you want?
Why?
Ho, ho, ho!
["Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt playing]
Santa baby
Just slip a sable under the tree ♪
For me ♪
Been an awful good girl ♪
Santa baby ♪
So hurry down the chimney tonight ♪
Santa baby ♪
I'm really sorry for the other night.
I don't know what exactly
The stall, you know.
[Umberto] Mm-hmm.
Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight ♪
Santa baby ♪
Forgot to mention one little thing ♪
A ring ♪
I don't mean on the phone ♪
[chuckles]
How are you feeling today, Dad?
- Um, Dad?
- Oh. Oh, Gianna.
How are you feeling today?
I'm good. I'm good, thanks.
- [phone chimes]
- [laughs]
Who are you messaging exactly?
[quirky music playing]
Well then, did you like my cake?
You have magical hands, Paola.
[Paola laughs]
Paola? Her name is
- Miss, your name is Paola.
- No need to be so formal now, Gianna.
But I won't be able
to make it for you anymore.
We're discharging you tomorrow.
Oh.
I hope you had
a pleasant time here with us.
[rueful chuckle] I haven't felt this good
for a long time, Paola.
[Paola laughs]
Ah.
[jazzy music playing]
Oh, never mind. It's official.
Dad's flirting with the matron.
Once upon a time, we'd start with
"Hi, girls. How's it going?"
They look at each other,
smile at each other, message each other.
He calls her Paola.
I didn't even know what she was called.
"Paola", that's the matron's name.
We might even see her
at the Christmas dinner.
Or all three of them.
Or Mum sees them together
and she has a heart attack too.
Can't you just leave the poor man alone?
He's the only Belotti left
who still knows how to have fun.
- Come on.
- [Filippo] Speaking of fun,
Monica told me the two of you
had fun together the other day.
You and Monica?
And the rest of the band.
[Gianna, Margherita laughing]
I had mycoplasma hominis.
The band was the only way
I could stop thinking about
that thing I like to do often.
The thing you two do very little of.
Eh, well, maybe tonight I might.
- Excuse me? Really?
- I'm going out with someone. Bruno.
Can you reserve me
that table that doesn't get drafty?
The cold has been terrible.
- Of course.
- Thanks.
I'm sorry, you're going out with a guy,
and this is how you tell us?
Well, his name is Bruno,
he's a veterinarian,
- and rather cute.
- [Didi] Yeah, yeah.
I'm going out with Alessandro tonight,
and he's not cute, he's sublime.
Yeah, but
No, I'm cured.
I have a date tonight too.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
It's my weekend without the children.
Who with?
With
With myself! [giddy laugh]
Wine, sushi on the sofa
I've been wanting
a night like this for years.
That is privacy, happiness and carefree.
I love you ♪
I am mad in love with ginger too!
It's spicy, it smells good
- Really? Didn't you say that
- It's very good for you, and a cure-all.
So, we'll have two
ginger and lemon risottos.
- Excellent!
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- As you wish!
[quirky music playing]
Tell me a bit about you.
Then I got to the point where I decided
to study to become a vet,
mainly because I like animals.
Of course.
Actually, I must say
I like them more than people.
[chuckles] I understand.
Whereas I like people too much,
so in the end I ended up becoming a nurse.
You know?
But as far as animals
I grew up in a house full of animals.
It was basically a zoo!
Oh! What pets do you have now?
- [stalling] I have a
- Thanks.
I have a a Didi.
- A "Didi"?
- It's a goldfish.
Quite a rare one.
- A goldfish? Goldfish.
- Yes.
- Red?
- Red one.
- [Bruno] Didi.
- Didi
[Bruno] And, of course, favourite movie
The best ever.
Go on.
Star Wars.
[inhales] Oh.
I must have seen it
about a thousand times, if not more!
No, my favourite movie is
Well, it's Love Actually.
You know Love Actually, right?
No, I don't.
- Oh!
- No.
But I will admit that Star Wars
is up here, and Love Actually
[Bruno] Yeah, well
Listen.
I don't know what you think, but I kinda
absolutely love winter.
- [quietly sputters]
- I just love the cold.
[flatly] Oh!
All those people complaining
about the weather? I just don't get them.
Everyone's like, "It's freezing",
going on about the cold. It's so boring.
- Me, I love the cold
- Exactly.
It makes you feel alive.
It makes you stronger!
I'm feeling hot even now.
[quirky music trailing off]
I live in this one.
With Didi.
Yes, with Didi. How do you know that?
- That's your goldfish, right?
- Oh, yes! Didi the fish. Yes, exactly.
I always forget,
she's swimming in the water.
- In the fish tank
- Yes.
- All right.
- All right.
So, maybe I could call you, and maybe
- Maybe we could see each other again.
- Sure, yes.
We could see each other
in the morning, if you want.
- Well, tomorrow could work too, yeah.
- All right.
[Gianna chuckles]
In that case
Goodnight then.
[wind whistling]
Goodnight.
[zany, upbeat music playing]
Bye, then.
[exhales]
I need Didi.
[grunting]
What should we toast to?
- You decide.
- To old friendships.
If you call me old one more time,
you'll be wearing that.
But you're underestimating
that people can improve over time.
- Hmm.
- I mean, for example,
if I'd known that this awkward girl
who sang in the choir
would become this beautiful
- I never would have broken up with her.
- That's something else you shouldn't say.
- [laughs]
- [Didi] Hmm.
[phone vibrating]
Hello? Hey.
Um, yes, that's fine.
You have the house keys, right?
You don't? Oh, great.
All right, see you tomorrow then.
[laughs] Yes. Bye.
Bye.
And so do you live here on your own?
Ah Well, Jessica does actually spend
so much time at my place
that I could almost say we live together.
You've got nothing to worry about.
She's my cleaning lady.
Ah!
I live alone.
Yes, I'm not at all a big fan
of sharing spaces with other people.
I understand.
And women specifically?
That's a bit better.
But only for short periods.
Not everyone is made for relationships.
[rowdy rock music playing]
Is that a problem?
[music trails off]
Why? Why?
[line droning]
[phone vibrating]
- Gianna? What's up?
- You're awake!
I am now.
Hi. Well, I wanted to tell you something,
because I have a really bad tummy ache.
I can't sleep because I ate ginger
because I'm stupid.
You do know it's 3:00 a.m., don't you?
[gentle, tender music playing]
I don't understand why, when I was
outside with Bruno for a moment,
at the front door, holding my keys,
he didn't try anything.
- Hmm.
- Nothing. I don't understand.
I don't understand
why you told him a bunch of lies.
You don't look like
someone who watches Star Wars.
No, but I just want to be polite.
You try to be open in the beginning,
especially if you want to meet new people.
Surely that's just what it's like
on a first date, right?
Then maybe later on you find out
you have other things in common.
Gianna, love doesn't come "later on".
He's either the right person, or he isn't.
Next time I think about
calling someone at 3:00 a.m.,
remind me not to call Filippo.
Blooming hell.
[marching band
playing "Silent Night" in distance]
[humming along]
Oh, you're up.
Would you like some breakfast?
[door closes]
Well, obviously, you came back early then.
Did you feed them junk food?
Did they not sleep? Have they been sick?
And do I need to get
their stomachs pumped?
We came by to feed the dog, that's all.
That's our job, isn't it?
[Giacomo] And we had
a movie night with pizza.
Four slices with different toppings.
The same one we always get together.
We asked for three different
toppings this time. You weren't there.
[chuckles]
Maybe it's better that way.
Okay, so Guido and the children
had fun without you,
and that bothers you a bit.
Of course not! I stayed home on my own
and I had a great time.
And I have a yoga class this afternoon.
Do you wanna come?
No, I can't, I have a shift,
and I'm going out tonight with Bruno.
Oh.
We have to move on.
I'm moving on, you're moving on.
Even Umberto is moving on Oh! Sorry!
[Davide] We're moving on,
you're moving on,
and now we know our verb conjugations.
I really love reviewing my grammar.
Actually, I was just looking for you.
- Oh.
- Yeah, my friend's better.
I was thinking about going out tonight,
And I wondered whether you
I, uh
If you know a nice place
for dinner for two.
I have a date tonight,
and I haven't been here for a year,
so I need some advice.
Sure, no, uh Yes, I know somewhere. I'll
[Elio] I don't care what you think!
- Excuse me.
- Of course.
If there's no treatment for me,
then why should I stay here?
So we can keep you under observation
for a few more days.
I have Alzheimer's.
What else do you need to observe?
I want to go back home to my books.
- Good morning.
- Mmm.
Gianna. Excuse me.
He said he's already found someone
to assist him at home.
He's adamant about going home,
and I don't know what to say.
I I don't know.
Well, the professor has been here
for a few days.
So, if he feels up to it, it's only right
for him to go home and move on.
Finally, someone who makes sense.
Okay.
Listen, can you talk to the doctor
about discharging him?
- I have a patient
- Yes, of course. Don't worry.
Thank you.
[Gianna] How are you feeling?
You absolutely sure
this neck brace is strictly necessary?
Are you joking, Mum? Yes, it is.
Oh, it's Dad! What a surprise!
I was thinking that
perhaps we could grab a coffee.
Somewhere else, I mean.
If you want.
No, that's great, great, great.
Good.
Well, I'll be in touch, Paola.
[quirky, plucky music playing]
Uh bye.
[Gianna] Dad!
Hello!
Hi.
Uh, hi, Marta.
Pietro.
- What happened to you?
- It's only a bit of whiplash.
It's quite normal.
All right.
You're well?
I mean, you've recovered.
Yes, I feel good.
They're letting me out now.
You too, by the way, you look well.
What a pretty, pretty mum, huh?
Well then, all right. I'm going.
- Bye, Marta. Bye.
- Bye, Dad.
[Marta] Bye, Pietro.
So is that why you brought me down here?
Uh, it could be.
Gianna, you don't have to worry about us.
We're adults, and if your father wants
to see another woman, I'm happy for him.
And anyway, I have a very active life too.
[Gianna groans]
[audio rewinding]
My mum did not say that,
and I did not hear it.
My mum did not say that,
and I did not hear it.
My mum said that and I so heard it.
[French horn playing in distance]
You do know there are people working here!
[French horn halts]
Hmm.
Didi?
I need a little bit of help, please.
This thing where you and your dad
have keys is not right, okay? Not right!
You don't need help, sweetie.
You need a flamethrower, you hear me?
Well, I'd say this one
is too cringeworthy.
Too Smurfy.
Too nun-like.
This is too Gianna.
Not these.
No, not those!
They belonged to my mother.
Oh, sorry. I didn't know.
[chuckles] Only joking.
Funny joke!
- I do like them.
- That's your problem.
Now So, I will need more info
about this guy you like.
He comes every Monday to Daddy's bar,
and he likes ordering
dinner to go for two people.
He's with someone?
No, I think he has dinner with a friend.
Age?
Somewhere between us.
Younger than me?
Slightly, very slightly younger than you.
Anyway, generally speaking,
there are two rules.
"Funny" means ridiculous,
"unique" means ugly.
You can't be
either ugly or ridiculous, agreed?
- Agreed.
- Very good.
Have you always been like this, Didi?
Well, no one's born perfect,
but let's just say this is
a continuous work in progress.
And don't you ever get tired?
[Filippo sighs]
How do I look?
[spritely, lively music playing]
Monica's mum, don't you worry,
for I shall resolve the shambles.
- Wow.
- [chuckles]
Yes this was clearly
the first dress I found.
And you look great too.
- You think?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.
- Yeah?
Yeah, nice. Except the t-shirt.
What's wrong with this t-shirt?
Whatever, I don't care.
It's my lucky t-shirt. It's always worked.
Yeah no I'm sure it worked in, um, 2005.
It's normal to feel nervous.
After this long you've finally
convinced yourself to get out there again.
Firstly, I didn't convince myself,
it was you that convinced me.
And secondly, I'm not going out, I'm
thanking Pippa for the panettone.
Well, hey, you'll have
a good time tonight with Pippa.
Whereas I'll be in a beautiful restaurant,
all warm, a glass of red or two
["I Hate Xmas" by Marco Guazzone playing]
[record scratch]
[tinny electro-pop playing over speakers]
Yes, sorry, I should've warned you,
but you said you like the cold, so
- You know how to skate, right?
- Uh, well more or less.
It's like riding a bike,
Once you've learned, you can't forget.
All right. But I might use
the wall to warm up.
Yeah.
- One Like this
- Slowly. Slowly!
Lift your feet up more, okay?
Lean forward, keep your arms wide.
- Hey, do you want to go?
- Hey. No, no.
- You don't look very relaxed.
- No, no. Everything's good!
- Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.
[quirky music playing]
So? Do you know that guy?
Yeah, uh
Uh, he's my ex.
Well, the ex before my last ex, that is.
We broke up
because he was a little bit too young.
I mean, he actually broke up with me
because I was too old.
Anyway, it's behind us now so
If you stop skating,
you'll cause a traffic jam.
I mean, sorry, but to me that girl looks
much older than me, right?
Her face, she's she's old.
- Yes, Gianna. She's older than you.
- Yeah? She looks older than me.
Get a move on!
That's what I'm trying to do,
sweet little child. Forgive me, sorry.
I'll move.
- Come over here, I'll take you.
- All right.
Anyway, if he wanted
a more experienced woman,
he would've stayed with me, right?
You know, I mean, anyway
Hey, it's for the best, because otherwise
I wouldn't be here with you right?
So, let's go for it!
- Whoa, not so fast! Wait!
- [sighs]
Not so fast, slow down!
[thud]
That's slippery.
That's not getting a move on.
That's called falling.
- Hi.
- Hey.
So you're here too at that the
Yeah, the dinner I told you about
turned into ice skating.
Oh, I see.
You cold?
No, me, I actually, uh
I love the freezing cold, it's
[tender, delicate music playing]
No, that's not true.
I'm actually really cold. I'm shaking.
I can tell.
Here.
Thanks.
That better?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
If you knew you were skating,
why'd you wear heels?
You tell me. No, it was
it was a surprise date, which is why
So it's true that you and Umberto
are no longer together?
Oh yes.
And what about this surprise date?
is it serious?
Uh
[lively, eccentric music playing]
Very much so. Yes.
Well, "serious", we'll see.
Well, um
Here. Thanks.
See you, Davide.
Yeah.
Listen, I'm sorry about
your tights, your outfit
Don't worry. No, no, really.
And actually, it was fun.
No?
[mid-tempo, romantic music playing]
Sorry, uh
I feel stupid.
It's just that I don't understand
what I'm doing wrong.
Really, I mean First I ate ginger,
which I really despise.
I watched Star Wars,
went ice skating for the first time,
yet you keep rejecting me,
and I don't understand why.
I'm trying to move on,
but if you won't work with me, how can I?
What did I do?
It's just that I'm not that into you.
And maybe you're not into me.
That's no one's fault. It happens.
I'm sorry, Gianna.
You can't just move on for the sake of it.
You have to be heading somewhere.
I don't know. Where do you want to go?
Uh well, home would be great.
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
Mmm.
What happened to your tights?
Let's leave that.
This was supposed to be
your free weekend, wasn't it?
Yeah.
I watched a romantic movie,
but without Guido making fun of me,
it's not the same.
Earlier, I went to yoga.
- Oh?
- Yeah, but
when I finished, I didn't know what to do.
It wasn't that fun.
And now I'm here.
A few hours left until the end
of my long-awaited free evening,
and the only thing I can think about is
how I wish I was
the fourth slice of my family.
Of pizza.
You should definitely share
these thoughts with your therapist.
- You think?
- Yes.
Mind if I stay over?
Of course. My pleasure!
- Thank you.
- Goodnight.
- I'm going to put my pyjamas on.
- Okay.
[Filippo grunting in distance]
Well, at least
someone else's date went well.
[Filippo continues grunting]
[muffled] Help!
[frenetic music pulsing]
[Filippo yelling, muffled]
[Filippo] Help!
[muffled grunting]
[grunting]
What's all this?
[Gianna] Sorry.
- Who gagged you?
- Pippa. Pippa's a thief.
In what way?
- Untie me!
- Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Well then?
- She's an escapologist!
Escapologist?
People who get tied up and escape.
She said, "Shall we try it?"
"Okay, tie me up!"
"Let's get out of here, right?"
She must've thought I was rich
because I own a restaurant, and
Instead, I'm just stupid and poor.
What are you laughing at?
No, sorry, you're right. Nothing!
Nothing, actually. I'll call the police.
No, you won't do anything. Untie my legs!
There you go.
I'm really sorry, but there are
loads of really strange people
out there in the world,
- so it can happen that
- [Filippo] What happens?
This happens when you think
it's the right person and it isn't.
This happens when you behave
like a teenager, but you're 30 years old.
When you pretend to be
something you're not.
But above all, this is what happens
when I listen to you.
[delicate, emotional music playing]
Seventeen years ago,
with this crappy t-shirt
I had the most amazing first date.
I even saw Santa Claus's sleigh.
Have you ever truly fallen in love?
Hmm? Have you ever seen his sleigh?
I thought so
[phone chiming]
Hello?
Oh my God. Okay.
I'll be right there. I'll be right there.
- Sir, we need to go.
- Leave me alone.
They found him on the street,
alone, in a confused state.
There were some passersby
that helped him and called an ambulance.
Everything all right with you?
[shakily] Not really.
Thanks, I'll take care of this.
Professor, you know it's Gianna,
don't you?
Why were you alone?
Can you remember
where the person looking after you is?
I just wanted to go back home.
You're the one who said it's right
to move on, aren't you?
It's cold.
I'm sorry, Professor.
You're right. I did say that, but
sometimes it's right to move on,
sometimes to remain
and see what the future holds.
["I Hate Xmas" by Marco Guazzone playing]
[singer harmonizing festive notes]
Holy cow, it's morning already ♪
The sun is up ♪
It's up ♪
And I am not ready yet ♪
Holy cow, it's morning already ♪
The sun is up ♪
It's up ♪
And I am not ready yet ♪
[song trails off]