Inside Comedy (2012) s02e04 Episode Script

[music.]
- WE--WE GO BACK.
- WE DEFINITELY GO BACK.
- WE--WE DEFINITELY GO BACK.
- I SAW YOU NAKED IN A SWIMMING POOL.
- YOU DID NOT.
- I DID.
[laughter.]
AT TOMMY SMOTHERS' AFTER-HOURS PARTY ONE TIME, WHEN EVERYONE WAS IN THE '60s, AND "OH, A CHANCE TO GET NAKED WITH GIRLS IN THE POOL? YES!" - THERE'S NO WAY I-- I DON'T GET NAKED ANYTIME IF I CAN AVOID IT.
BUT THERE WERE PARTIES AT THAT TOMMY SMOTHERS HOUSE.
- THERE WERE.
- SO WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER OF THOSE DAYS? OF THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS DAYS? - WELL, I WAS SO EXCITED, FIRST OF ALL.
I WAS 21 WHEN I STARTED--22.
- YOU WERE THE YOUNGEST KID THERE.
- I WAS THE YOUNGEST.
I REMEMBER IT WAS SO THRILLING TO WORK 18 HOURS A DAY AND TO HAVE YOUR MATERIAL ON TELEVISION, EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY THE WORD "THE.
" - YES.
- WHICH SOMETIMES IT WAS.
AND TO BE AT THE CENTER OF SOMETHING THAT WAS HAPPENING AND HOT.
- THEY WERE REVOLUTIONARY.
- YEAH, REVOLUTIONARY.
I'M USING YOUR WORD.
UH, YOU CAN CUT OUT YOU USING THAT WORD, AND THEN I WILL SOUND GREAT.
AND MEETING ALL THOSE PEOPLE.
I MEAN, I WAS LITERALLY A, YOU KNOW, A COMEDIAN WORKING THE ICE HOUSE, AND THE NEXT DAY, I WAS STANDING IN A ROOM WITH PETE SEEGER.
- YES.
- YOU KNOW, WORKING OUT HIS BIT.
YOU KNOW, "WELL, PETE, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY DO THIS.
" AND--AND I WAS REALLY TERRIFIED AND EXCITED AT THE SAME TIME.
- YEAH, AND YOU COULDN'T NOT BE AWARE THAT YOU WERE IN SOMETHING BIG WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING.
IT WAS SORT OF, UH, WHAT THEY USED TO CALL THE COUNTERCULTURE, IN A WAY.
- YOU FELT LIKE YOU WERE AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
- RIGHT, IT'S TRUE.
- YOU KNOW? - HERE'S SOMETHING.
I HAVE, IN MY HANDS, THIS PICTURE.
TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE THERE, MR.
MARTIN.
- WOW, THAT'S CARL GOTTLIEB, ONE OF THE VERY GOOD WRITERS ON THE SHOW.
CARL GOTTLIEB WENT ON TO CO-WRITE JAWS, THE MOVIE.
- YES, AND WROTE ONE OF YOUR MOVIES.
- YES, HE CO-WROTE, WITH MICHAEL ELIAS, THE JERK.
- THE JERK, YEAH.
- AND BOB EINSTEIN, MY WRITING PARTNER, WENT ON TO A VERY SUCCESSFUL CAREER IN WRITING AND PERFORMING AS SUPER DAVE.
- YES.
- UH, DAVID STEINBERG.
DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
AND THERE'S ME WITH BROWN HAIR.
[laughter.]
I THINK IT WAS THE LAST MOMENT I HAD BROWN HAIR.
- THERE'S SOMETHING PECULIAR ABOUT ME IN THAT PICTURE.
- WELL, YOU LOOK-- FIRST OF ALL, YOU LOOK LIKE MY GIRLFRIEND NINA, AT THE TIME.
[laughter.]
THAT'S WHO I THOUGHT IT WAS WHEN I SAW IT FROM THE BACK.
I THOUGHT, "OH, THEY GOT A PICTURE OF MY GIRLFRIEND NINA.
" WELL, FIRST, YOU HAVE--YOU HAVE KLEENEX AROUND YOUR COLLAR.
- AND WHY IS THAT? - BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU LIKED TO DRESS AT THE TIME.
[laughter.]
NO, IT WAS TO KEEP MAKEUP OFF YOUR COLLAR.
- BECAUSE I WAS THE STAR OF THAT-- - [growls.]
- [laughs.]
- I USED TO LOOK AT YOU AND DO YOUR MONOLOGUES AND THINK, "WHY HIM?" BUT, UH [laughter.]
NO, YOU DID THESE GREAT, FANTASTIC ICONOCLASTIC MONOLOGUES.
- THEY WERE.
- YOU GOT IN A LOT-- YOU GOT IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
- A LOT OF TROUBLE.
- I'LL HAND THIS BACK.
- YEAH.
- A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR YOUR MONOLOGUES.
- YES, YES.
BECAUSE IT WAS ABOUT RELIGION, AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT RELIGION IN AMERICA.
- ANYTHING.
I LEARNED THAT, ACTUALLY, VERY EARLY ON, THAT ANY KIND OF MENTION OF RELIGION PROMPTED LETTERS THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE WRITTEN WITH A PENCIL IN A FIST.
- YES.
YES.
[laughter.]
SO WAS IT HARD FOR YOU TO MAKE THE TRANSITION TO WRITE ON THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS SHOW WHEN YOUR ASPIRATION WAS TO DO STANDUP, OR-- - NO, I WAS-- - YOU WANTED IT.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS, LIKE, PROFESSIONAL SHOW BUSINESS RIGHT AWAY.
I HAD THIS DREAM OF BEING ON, YOU KNOW.
AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, I'D GET THROWN A BONE, AND I WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, IN THE EIGHTH ROW OF THE SKETCH, IN THE BACK, AND I'D BE GOING - YES.
- BUT, UH, I JUST LOVED IT.
- YEAH.
- I LOVED IT.
AND I LEARNED SO MUCH.
LITERALLY, MASON WILLIAMS CAME IN THE FIRST DAY-- HE WAS THE HEAD WRITER - MM-HMM.
- AND HE SHOWED ME A PAGE OF A SCRIPT AND HE SAID, "NOW"-- I THINK I'D WRITTEN SOMETHING-- HE SAID, "SO HERE IS WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN.
"HERE'S THE PUNCH LINE.
AND YOU DRAW A CIRCLE--" HE DREW CIRCLE AROUND IT.
"AND IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU"-- AND HE TOOK A PENCIL AND HE DREW AN ARROW, AND SAID, "IF YOU PUT IT AT THE END.
" [laughter.]
- UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE FOUND OUR NEXT GUEST IN A MOST UNUSUAL MANNER.
- THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE WE HAPPENED TO BE WALKING THROUGH THE WRITER AREA OF THE SHOW, AND THERE HE WAS, SITTING AT ONE OF OUR WRITERS' DESKS.
AND LATER, WE FOUND OUT THAT HE ACTUALLY WAS ONE OF OUR WRITERS.
- IT'S AMAZING, HUH? - YEAH.
AND SINCE HE HASN'T BEEN PAID FOR HIS WORK, WE THOUGHT WE'D LET HIM COME OUT TONIGHT AND MAKE A FEW DOLLARS.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR.
STEVE MARTIN! [music and applause.]
- THANK YOU.
AS TOM JUST SAID, I'M STEVE MARTIN, AND I'LL BE OUT HERE IN A MINUTE.
WHILE I'M-- WHILE I'M WAITING FOR ME, I'D LIKE TO JUMP RIGHT INTO KIND OF A SOCKO BOPPO COMEDY ROUTINE.
THIS HAS REALLY BEEN A BIG ONE FOR ME.
IT'S THE ONE THAT KIND OF PUT ME WHERE I AM TODAY.
I'D LIKE TO START RIGHT OFF- THIS IS REALLY A BIG ONE-- THE FABULOUS GLOVE-INTO-DOVE TRICK.
[drum roll.]
[rim shot.]
THE NAPKIN TRICK.
[drum roll.]
[rim shot.]
[laughter and applause.]
THANK YOU! THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[applause.]
WELL, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THAT'LL BE COMING OUT ON A RECORD PRETTY SOON, IF YOU WANT IT.
- WE DID A SHOW THAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT, REALLY.
- YEAH, IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT? - IT WAS CALLED MUSIC SCENE.
- RIGHT.
- WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT IT? DO YOU REMEMBER THE-- WHAT IT-- - IT WAS A KIND OF CONTEMPORARY HIT PARADE WITH A TIE-IN TO BILLBOARD, 'CAUSE WE WOULD HAVE CONCERTS WITH THE HIPPEST PEOPLE.
- YEAH, IT WAS LIKE A SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, WOULDN'T YOU SAY? IT WAS LIKE THE FIRST ATTEMPT AT THAT.
- KIND OF, YEAH.
- 'CAUSE WE WERE DOING SATIRE - YES.
- AND THEN BILLBOARD WOULD HAVE THE HIT MUSIC OF THE WEEK.
- RIGHT.
- AND SO WE WOULD HAVE TO DO SOMETHING SATIRICAL ABOUT THE HIT MUSIC OF THE WEEK, BUT NO ONE FIGURED OUT THAT SOME OF THE DRECKIEST SONGS LAST FOREVER.
- WOULD BE IN THE TOP 10 FOR-- YEAH, FOR WEEKS AND WEEKS.
AND WE'D HAVE TO DO THE SAME SONG AND TRY TO COME UP WITH A WAY TO DO IT.
- YEAH, SO THEN, MY RECOLLECTION OF WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT THEN THEY GOT RID OF THE COMPANY, RIGHT? - YEAH, ME INCLUDED.
- NO, YOU WERE-- - OH, NO, THEY GOT RID OF ALL OF US.
DIDN'T THEY JUST LEAVE YOU? - I DON'T KNOW IF THEY GOT RID OF YOU, BUT YOU--I THINK YOU GOT THE OFFER FROM GEORGE SCHLATTER.
- WELL, NO, I HAD THE OFFER FOR LAUGH-IN AT THE SAME TIME, BUT I THOUGHT MUSIC SCENE WAS WAY HIPPER.
- YES, IT WAS HIPPER.
- YEAH.
AND SO I WANTED TO BE ON MUSIC SCENE.
[laughs.]
- YEAH, YEAH.
- AND PARENTS WERE UP IN ARMS BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LIKE TO SEE WHAT THEY THOUGHT WERE LONG-HAIRED DOPERS - YES, YES.
- IN PRIMETIME.
THAT--THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBER.
- YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT TOO.
AND I REMEMBER THESE INCREDIBLE-- I REMEMBER JANIS JOPLIN BEING ON THE SET, AND-- - JIMI HENDRIX.
- AND JIMI HENDRIX, YEAH.
IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE-- - IT WAS ASTOUNDING.
- YEAH.
- COULD YOU TELL US WHAT POSITION IS BOBBY SHERMAN'S NEW HIT SINGLE ON THE CHARTS? - OH, HE'S, UM-- WELL, HE'S, UM-- [stammering.]
HE'S--HE HAS-- WELL, FIRST OF ALL, HE HAS SORT OF A--WELL, HIS HAIR IS NOT UNLIKE MINE.
- UH-HUH.
- IT'S--IT'S VERY-- [stammering.]
HE'S--HE'S GOT, UM-- UH, HE'S--HE'S REALLY-- HE'S GOOD--HE'S TERRIF-- HE'S KIND OF-- HE'S REALLY CU-- HE'S, UH--HE'S THE KIND OF PER-- WELL, WHAT IS IT? [stammering incoherently.]
I-I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS ON THE CHARTS.
- STEVE, WHEN YOU STARTED OUT, WHO WERE YOUR INFLUENCES? - WHEN I WORKED AT DISNEYLAND-- I STARTED THERE WHEN I WAS TEN-- AND THERE WAS A COMEDIAN NAMED WALLY BOAG WHO WORKED AT THE GOLDEN HORSESHOE REVUE.
AND THE SHOW WAS FREE, AND HE DID FIVE SHOWS A DAY.
- WOW.
WOW.
- AND I JUST WENT IN AND JUST MEMORIZED IT.
AND I COULD SIT THERE, AND I NEVER GOT TIRED OF A JOKE.
I WOULD HEAR THE SAME JOKE.
I'D MAYBE SEE THE SHOW AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.
BUT I WOULD GO, "OKAY, HERE COMES THIS ONE.
" AND THEN--[laughs.]
"THEY LOVED THAT JOKE!" I'D BE RIGHT THERE WITH HIM.
- WOW.
- STEP BY STEP.
- SO AT TEN YEARS OLD.
SO YOU ARE-- BUT YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING UNTIL YOU WERE, LIKE, 17 OR 18.
- WELL, I STARTED DOING A COMEDY MAGIC ACT WHEN I WAS ABOUT 15.
THEN I HAD A DOUBLE ACT WITH A FRIEND WHO WORKED AT THE MAGIC SHOP.
THAT'S WHERE I ENDED UP WORKING AT DISNEYLAND, WAS AT THE MAGIC SHOP.
JIM BARLOW, AND HE WAS A VERY FUNNY GUY.
- UH-HUH.
- HE WORKED AT THE MAGIC SHOP, AND HE HAD-- THIS WAS DISNEYLAND.
THIS WAS PRETTY STRAIGHTLACED.
BUT THE MAGIC SHOP WAS THIS OASIS WHERE YOU COULD BE A LITTLE BIT MORE DARING.
AND HE HAD-- HIS OPENING LINE TO GREET THE CUSTOMERS AS THEY'D COME IN, HE'D SAY, "MAY I TAKE YOUR MONEY-- I MEAN, HELP YOU?" [laughter.]
- THAT'S PRETTY BOLD AT THAT YOUNG AGE.
- YEAH, I JUST LOVED ALL THAT STUFF.
I WORKED AT KNOTT'S BERRY FARM, AT THE BIRDCAGE THEATER, WHERE WE DID A SORT OF A MELODRAMA, AND THEN THERE WAS A LITTLE FIVE-MINUTE SLOT AT THE END OF THE MELODRAMA WHERE YOU WENT OUT AND GOT TO DO FOUR MINUTES OF WHATEVER.
AND I DID A COMEDY MAGIC ACT, AND THEN I TOOK THAT AND EXPANDED ON IT AND WENT DOWN TO THE CLUBS THAT YOU COULD APPEAR AT IN ORANGE COUNTY WITH MY BANJO AND SOME JOKES AND THE COMEDY ACT, AND IT DEVELOPED INTO THIS INTERVIEW.
- DO YOU-- [laughter.]
WHAT A SAD END.
- YES.
[laughter.]
- NOW, WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP IN DETROIT, WERE YOU INTERESTED IN COMEDY? WERE YOU FUNNY? - I DID SHOWS.
I MADE SHOWS ALL THE TIME, YEAH.
FROM THE TIME I WAS-- WELL, I TOOK BALLET AND TAP AT THE DEPARTMENT OF PARKS AND RECREATION ACROSS THE STREET, WHERE THEY HAD PROGRAMS TO KEEP KIDS OFF THE STREETS, YOU KNOW? - SO SHOW BUSINESS INTERESTED YOU? I MEAN, YOU, IN SOME WAY-- - WELL, PERFORMANCE DID.
- PERFORMANCE, YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF I KNEW WHAT SHOW BUSINESS WAS, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I WENT TO THE MOVIES BUT I NEVER WENT TO THE THEATER.
BUT I LOVED RADIO - YEAH.
- BECAUSE WE DIDN'T GET A TV UNTIL I WAS TEN.
- YEAH, THAT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE, BECAUSE YOUR IMAGINATION IS SOARING ON RADIO.
- AND I WAS BLUE COLLAR AND I GREW UP IN AN APARTMENT HOUSE.
AND WE LIVED-- AND YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE AN INCREDIBLE LITTLE POOL OF HUMANITY.
NOT JUST THE APARTMENT HOUSE, BUT GOING OUT, BLOCK AFTER BLOCK, THE HOUSES WOULD GET BIGGER AND BIGGER UNTIL CHICAGO AND BOSTON BOULEVARD WERE THE BIG, YOU KNOW, RITZY STREETS.
THEY WERE NOT THAT FAR FROM US.
AND I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH MANY OF THOSE KIDS.
- SO WHO DID YOU-- LIKE, DID YOU SEE SOMEONE THAT YOU SAID, "OKAY, I--" - I THINK I SAW THE PEOPLE IN THE BUILDING, YOU KNOW? - THE PEOPLE IN THE BUILDING? - THEY WERE ALL SO INTERESTING.
BECAUSE I USED TO HANG OUT WITH MY FATHER A LOT, LIKE AT THE BOOKIE JOINTS AND THE TRACK - UH-HUH.
- AND THE BARS.
- AND MY MOTHER WOULD, YOU KNOW, BE-- SHE WAS A NICE CHRISTIAN WOMAN STAYING AT HOME AND, YOU KNOW, A VERY GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER.
AND SHE'S THE ONE I WOULD GO TO CHURCH WITH ON SUNDAY, AND THEN ALL WEEKEND I'D GO TO THE BARS AND THE TRACK.
- NOTHING BUT CHARACTERS.
- CHARACTERS EVERYWHERE.
- ALL ECCENTRIC CHARACTERS.
- RIGHT.
- AND THEN YOU HIT BROADWAY, AND PEOPLE HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT, BECAUSE NO ONE HAD EVER DONE A CHARACTER SHOW LIKE THE FIRST SHOW YOU DID.
- WELL, YOU KNOW, I WAS VERY INFLUENCED BY A WOMAN WHO WAS DEAD BY THE TIME I HAD DISCOVERED HER, BUT RUTH DRAPER WAS A GREAT MONOLOGUE ARTIST.
AND I MEAN, SHE BECAME THE WATERMARK FOR A MONOLOGUE.
AND SHE WOULD OFTEN SAY, YOU KNOW, "A MONOLOGUE'S NOT WORTH DOING UNLESS YOU'VE WORKED IT FOR SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS.
" [laughter.]
- SOMETHING YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITH.
- YEAH, I COULD REALLY IDENTIFY WITH IT.
I COPPED A LOOK AT PATTY'S DIARY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE PARKED-- WAIT, I'M GONNA TELL YA.
I'M GONNA TELL YA.
SHE PARKED WITH RICHIE BONATELLI ON THE FIRST DATE.
NO LIE.
[laughter.]
WHERE DO YOU THINK SHE GOT THAT BIG HICKEY? [laughter and applause.]
PLUS, MARGOT, THAT AIN'T ALL PATTY.
I SEEN HER BRA.
IT WAS LAYIN' ON THE BED.
I SEEN IT.
FLATTY PATTY.
[laughter.]
THERE WAS TISSUES IN IT.
I WONDER, WOULD RICHIE GIVE HER HIS I.
D.
BRACELET IF HE KNEW SHE WAS MADE OUT OF KLEENEX? [laughter.]
OH! OH, WE SHOULD! WE SHOULD! WE SHOULD! WE SHOULD TELL ALL THE GUYS TO SNEEZE WHEN THEY SEE HER.
[laughter.]
- AND SO, MARTIN MULL AND YOU-- YOU DIDN'T HAVE AN ACT TOGETHER, DID YOU? - WE DIDN'T HAVE AN ACT TOGETHER.
WE MIGHT HAVE MAYBE FOR A HALF A MINUTE.
BUT I WORKED AT A CLUB CALLED THE GREAT SOUTHEAST MUSIC HALL, IN ATLANTA.
- I REMEMBER IT.
- I CAN'T REMEMBER WHO WAS HEADLINING.
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
I THINK HE WAS.
WE WORKED AT THIS PLACE, AND I THOUGHT OF MARTIN MULL AS THE ULTIMATE PROFESSIONAL, BECAUSE I'D SEEN HIM BEFORE-- HE HAD FURNITURE ONSTAGE.
KIND OF FURNITURE LIKE THIS, WITH A LAMP, AND HE PLAYED GUITAR AND SANG FUNNY SONGS.
- YES.
- AND HE WAS GREAT.
AND WE JUST HIT IT OFF.
THAT WAS ONE OF THE PLACES WHERE, AFTER THE SHOW, WE PLAYED OUTSIDE FOR MONEY AS THE AUDIENCE LEFT.
- YES, YES.
I THINK HE MENTIONED THAT.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- RIGHT.
YOU'D DO THE SHOW AND THEN RUN OUT FRONT.
- YEAH, RUN OUT FRONT AND PLAY AGAIN.
- PUT A HAT DOWN OR SOMETHING.
- PUT A HAT DOWN AND PLAY AGAIN.
IT WAS REALLY FUN TIMES, YOU KNOW? BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE THE SHOW ANY EASIER.
WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE, YOU'RE STILL-- YOU'RE STILL KIND OF SUFFERING AND SUCCEEDING AND SUFFERING AT THE SAME TIME.
AND LOSING, YOU KNOW? YOU'RE LOSING, YOU'RE SUCCEEDING, AND IT'S ALL SUFFERING.
[laughter.]
- YES.
IT'S THE HARDEST THING TO DO.
- IN MY BOOK, I CALLED IT-- STANDUP COMEDY IS THE EGO'S LAST STAND.
- YES.
YEAH.
[laughter.]
BUT YOU'RE STILL DOING IT NOW, SO IT-- WHEN YOU PLAY NOW, DO YOU TALK TO-- ARE YOU HUMOROUS WITH THE AUDIENCE AND ALL THAT? - DEFINITELY, AND I DELIGHT IN IT.
UH, I REALLY DO.
BECAUSE NOW I HAVE SORT OF MUSIC AND OTHER MUSICIANS ONSTAGE, AND, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A RAPPORT ONSTAGE.
SO I'M NOT REALLY ALONE, LIKE I WAS.
WHEN I WAS ALONE ONSTAGE, YOU CAN BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MOMENT, BUT YOUR MIND IS ACTUALLY IN THE NEXT MOMENT.
- IT'S TRUE.
- AS YOU KNOW.
BUT NOW, I REALLY-- YOU KNOW, THE COMEDY PORTION MIGHT BE TWO MINUTES, AND THEN A SONG IS THREE MINUTES.
AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER COMEDY PORTION.
AND BECAUSE--AND IT'S EASIER TO CHANGE OUT MATERIAL TOO, SO YOU'RE ALWAYS--THINGS ARE ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT FRESH.
AND NOW I THINK, "OH, BOY, I'VE GOT THIS WONDERFUL LINE "IN ABOUT A MINUTE AND A HALF THAT I JUST LOVE, "AND IT'S BRAND-NEW, AND IT MAKES ME LAUGH, ACTUALLY, WHEN I SAY IT AND NOW THAT I JUST EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
" AND EVEN BEFORE I GO OUT, I GO, "OH, BOY, "I HAVE THIS NEW LINE THAT I JUST LOVE, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY IT'S FUNNY.
" AND THAT'S--THAT'S THE WAY I USED TO THINK WHEN I WAS AT MY BEST AS A STANDUP.
I'D THINK, "I'VE GOT THIS LINE.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY IT'S FUNNY, BUT IT'S FUNNY SOMEHOW.
" AND THAT'S ABSOLUTELY THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD.
- SO FAMILIAR TO ME, IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
THAT'S A GREAT DESCRIPTION OF WHAT YOU GO THROUGH, RIGHT.
- I THINK IT'S ACTUALLY THE BEST KIND OF LAUGH, WHEN YOU--WHEN NOBODY KNOWS WHY IT'S FUNNY.
[laughter.]
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T QUITE PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT.
- YEAH.
- IT JUST IS.
I HAVE A NEW RECORD COMING OUT IN ABOUT THREE WEEKS, AND, UH-- [cheers and applause.]
OH, BOY! OH, BOY! THE ONLY REASON I MENTION IT, I WILL BE ON TV, SOME SHOWS, TO PROMOTE IT, IF YOU WANT TO WATCH.
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY GET THIS HERE, "BOWLING FOR SHIT"? [laughter and applause.]
SO THEY WANT ME ON ALL THESE SHOWS NOW BECAUSE I DID SO WELL ON "CELEBRITY ASSHOLES.
" [laughter and applause.]
SO HERE WE GO.
[playing banjo music.]
[music.]
I'M A RAMBLIN' GUY.
[cheers and applause.]
- SO, LILY, ANOTHER PART OF OUR HISTORY WAS THE STAR SPANGLED NIGHT FOR RIGHTS.
- YEAH, FOR THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FUND, WHICH WAS A BRAND-NEW ORGANIZATION.
- RIGHT, IT WAS THE FIRST BIG BENEFIT FOR ANYTHING GAY RIGHTS AT ALL EVER, WASN'T IT? - I BELIEVE SO, YEAH.
- I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
AND IT WAS AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL.
- YES.
- AND WERE YOU IN THE FIRST ACT OR THE SECOND ACT? - OHI DON'T REMEMBER.
BUT I REMEMBER-- I REMEMBER THAT ELAINE MAY WAS SITTING NEAR THE FRONT ROW 'CAUSE I COULD HEAR HER LAUGH.
- BECAUSE ALL I REMEMBER IS THAT I WAS WORKING A LOT ON THE ROAD, AND I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST ACTS UP, AND IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS THAT I EVER HAD.
I JUST KILLED, AS WE SAY.
- I THINK YOU WERE-- I CAN ALMOST REMEMBER THAT YOU DID SOME OF, YOU KNOW, THE MATERIAL ABOUT, YOU KNOW, MASTURBATION.
- YES, RIGHT.
- AND HOW IT'S--[laughs.]
ABOUT, YOU KNOW, NOT HAVING TO DRESS FOR THE DATE.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK YOUR BEST.
- YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK YOUR BEST, RIGHT.
[laughter.]
- ONE OF THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT MASTURBATION.
- YEAH, I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT.
- BUT I REMEMBER-- AND SO, AT THE INTERMISSION, I WAS FINISHED, AND I WAS SOARING, AND NOW NO ONE WILL EVER REMEMBER THAT I WAS EVEN THERE.
AND TELL ME YOUR RECOLLECTION OF WHAT HAPPENED.
- WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER WHEN I CAME OUT, BUT I SAW RICHARD PRYOR.
I HAD--AARON HAD ASKED ME IF I COULD GET RICHARD TO DO THE SHOW, AND I SAID, "WELL," I SAID, "I PROBABLY CAN, BUT YOU KNOW, IF YOU ASK FOR RICHARD, YOU'RE GONNA GET RICHARD.
" - RIGHT.
- AND, OH, EVERYTHING WAS COOL.
AARON WAS BETTE MIDLER'S MANAGER.
- YES, AARON RUSSO.
- RIGHT.
AND SO I DID-- SO RICHARD CAME ON THE SHOW.
AND WHEN HE SHOWED UP THAT NIGHT, HE WAS KIND OF WITH HIS CREW, YOU KNOW? AND FIRST THING HE SEES IS THESE TWO WHITE KIDS OR SOMETHING DOING A PAS DE DEUX ON THE STAGE, YOU KNOW? [laughs.]
IN TOE SHOES AND A TUTU.
- RIGHT.
- AND YOU KNOW, HE'S, LIKE, THINKING, "WHAT THE HELL HAVE I WALKED INTO?" AND THEN THE LOCKERS WERE THERE WITH TONI BASIL.
THEY WERE, LIKE, ONE OF THE FIRST BREAK-DANCERS.
- I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, YES.
- AND ANYWAY, SO THAT LOOKED-- AND THEY WERE MOSTLY WHITE, SO IT LOOKED A LITTLE CO-OPTED TOO, AND THIS WASN'T GONNA GO DOWN THAT WELL.
SO SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY-- AND PLUS, RICHARD'S JUST GONNA BE - RIGHT.
RIGHT.
- FRANK AND DIRECT.
AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHEN HE WENT ON.
I THINK I'D ALREADY GONE ON.
AND I WAS IN THE WINGS.
AND THE FIRST THING HE SAID WHEN WE WENT OUT-- 'CAUSE THIS IS A LARGELY GAY AUDIENCE-- AND HE STARTED OUT, HE SAYS, "I SUCKED A DICK.
" - YEAH, RIGHT.
- YOU KNOW, "OH, YAY!" EVERYBODY'S CHEERING, CHEERING, CHEERING.
AND THEN I THOUGHT, "UH-OH, WE'RE IN FOR TROUBLE.
" - YES, RIGHT.
- NOBODY KNOWS IT YET, BUT THEY'RE NOT GONNA UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
AND THEN WHEREVER IT LED TO, I CAN'T REMEMBER.
- WELL, THEN HE WENT TO AN ATTACK OF-- - OH, HE WENT IN TOTAL ATTACK.
- TOTALLY.
WHY ARE WE DOING THIS WHEN BLACK PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED AND STILL STRUGGLING IN AMERICA? - RIGHT, TOTALLY FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE.
AND IT WAS, LIKE, YOU KNOW-- - BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN AT AN EVENT THAT HAD AN AUDIENCE TURN, I MEAN, THEY TURNED.
- TURN.
OH, OF COURSE THEY TURNED.
- AND THIS WAS THE LOUDEST BOOING AND HISS-- AND THEY WERE STANDING UP.
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A RIOT, RIGHT? - YEAH, OH, IT WAS.
IT WAS INTENSE.
AND I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, "I SHOULD PROBABLY-- I COULD PROBABLY GO OUT THERE AND--" 'CAUSE I FELT-- I WASN'T, LIKE, YOU KNOW, HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, BUT WE HAD A HISTORY TOGETHER, AND I HAD A LOT OF FEELING FOR HIM.
AND I ALWAYS--I THOUGHT-- AND EVERYBODY'S BACKSTAGE GOING CRAZY.
- RIGHT.
- AND I'M THINKING, "JUST LET IT RIDE.
YOU'LL SEE.
"IT'LL COME TO ITS-- IT'LL BE AN EPIPHANOUS THING.
" AND OF COURSE, EVERYBODY WAS JUST FRANTIC AND BESIDE THEMSELVES, AND THE BOOING AND THE SCREAMING.
- OH, YES, YES.
- AND FINALLY, HE JUST SAID, "YOU CAN KISS MY RICH, BLACK ASS," YOU KNOW, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
- AND WALKED OFF.
- AND WALKED OFF.
- AND THEN, BETTE, WHO WAS CLOSING, WHO IS THE BEST ONE-WOMAN SHOW YOU COULD EVER SEE IN MUSIC AND WHATEVER.
- RIGHT.
- SHE COULDN'T GET THE AUDIENCE SETTLED DOWN.
- SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
- SHE DIDN'T KNOW-- OH, IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED? - AND SHE KIND OF DIDN'T KNOW QUITE WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
- RIGHT, YOU HAD TO HAVE HEARD IT TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS.
- I GUESS.
MAYBE THEY TOLD HER A LITTLE BIT.
BUT I REMEMBER SOMEBODY STARTED TO RUSH THE STAGE AND IT TERRIFIED HER.
- RIGHT.
- SHE THOUGHT SOMETHING WACKY WAS GOING ON.
SHE COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE TURMOIL.
AND--ALTHOUGH SHE DID TURN AROUND AND SAY-- OH, SHE CAME OUT AND SAID, "YOU CAN KISS MY RICH, WHITE ASS.
" - YES, RIGHT.
- I BELIEVE SHE DID.
SO SHE KNEW SOMETHING.
- SOMETHING, YES.
- BUT IT WAS SO UNSETTLING, I-- I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IF SHE FINISHED HER SET.
- SHE DID NOT.
SHE DIDN'T.
SHE WALKED-- SHE--SHE COULDN'T, BECAUSE THE AUDIENCE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH WHAT THEY'D JUST HEARD.
- RIGHT.
THAT WAS GOOD.
- YEAH.
- I LIKE STUFF LIKE THAT.
- YEAH, INCREDIBLE.
STEVE, WHEN DID YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAD ARRIVED? - WELL, THERE WAS A MOMENT OF IGNITION RIGHT IN THE MID-'70s - MID-'70s.
- WHEN SOMETHING STARTED TO-- JUST SOMETHING CHANGED.
- THAT'S EXACTLY WHEN I WAS ON THE SLIDE.
[laughter.]
- SO WE BOTH HAD A MOMENT OF IGNITION.
- YES, YES.
I WONDERED WHAT BASTARD WAS GETTING THE AUDIENCE THAT I WASN'T GETTING ANYMORE.
- I DON'T KNOW.
THERE WAS A MOMENT WHERE MY ACT JUST CONGEALED, AND IT WENT FROM, YOU KNOW, RANDOM AMATEUR NIGHT TO BEING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF WHERE I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD IT.
- MM-HMM.
- IT WAS LIKE-- I WAS AIMING FOR SOMETHING AND I DID NOT KNOW WHAT - MM-HMM.
- AND IT WENT FROM THAT TO, "OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT NOW IT'S TOGETHER.
" - YEAH, IT'S A GREAT FEELING.
- YEAH.
- IT'S A GREAT FEELING.
AND THEN, WHAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, AND THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU-- - YEAH, THAT-- THAT'S REALLY WHAT HAPPENED, BUT THERE'S THIS STATE OF GRACE, YOU KNOW, OF A COUPLE OF YEARS WHERE THE ACT IS NOT EXPOSED, AND NO ONE HAS SEEN IT, BUT THEY'VE HEARD ABOUT IT.
THAT'S-- AND SO THEY'RE COMING IN COMPLETELY LIKE, "WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS?" THEN--AND IT'S ALL NEW.
- YES.
- AND IT'S COMPLETELY NEW.
- YEAH.
- AND YOU KNOW, WHEN I STARTED THEN BECOMING, YOU KNOW, A STADIUM ACT, YOU KNOW, I JUST KNEW YOU CAN ONLY BE NEW ONCE.
- YES.
- YOU KNOW? AND THEN YOU'RE-- AND I SAY I SORT OF BECAME A PARTY HOST.
- [laughs.]
YES.
- YOU KNOW? - YES, YES.
PEOPLE HAVING A GOOD TIME.
- IT WAS STILL WORKING.
IT WAS STILL WORKING.
BUT THEN I JUST KNEW, YOU KNOW, IT'S TIME TO STOP.
- WELL, YOUR ACT WAS SO LIVELY.
IT WAS AS JOYFUL A STANDUP ACT AS I'VE EVER SEEN.
IT WAS THE OPPOSITE OF SORT OF BITTER AND HARD, AND IT WAS JUST-- IT HAD A LIGHTNESS TO IT.
- WELL, I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING VALID ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I DID TRY TO MAKE IT JOYFUL, 'CAUSE IT WAS, YOU KNOW, LIKE SOME KIND OF HAPPY IDIOT.
- [laughs.]
YES, YES.
- YOU KNOW, JUST OBLIVIOUS.
- OBLIVIOUS.
- OBLIVIOUS TO-- BUT ALSO, THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT-- I HATE TO REFER TO IT IN THE THIRD PERSON-- BUT THAT CHARACTER THAT COULD ALSO BE ANGRY - [laughs.]
YES, YES.
WELL-- - AND STILL BE VERY HAPPY.
COULD I HAVE A BLUE SPOTLIGHT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? KIND OF A MOOD-- A MOOD THING, OKAY? LIKE A BLUE.
[tuning banjo.]
OR RED.
BLUE OR RED, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
BLUE OR RED.
OKAY.
[tuning banjo.]
TELL YOU WHAT, LET'S LEAVE IT WHITE ON THIS.
I THINK THAT'D BE THE BEST-- [laughter.]
[scoffs.]
IS THERE NOBODY UP THERE? CAN WE GET SOMEBODY UP THERE? AND--AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I JUST JUST THOUGHT THERE MIGHT BE SOMEBODY ON THE SPOTLIGHT DURING THE SHOW.
[laughter.]
LET'S DROP IT, OKAY? [laughter.]
[scoffs.]
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST THE THING THAT, YOU KNOW, I COME OUT HERE AND I'M TRYING TO DO MY ACT, AND I'M GOING INTO A GROOVE.
I'M MOVING, YOU KNOW? I'M WINGING IT OUT HERE.
AND I GET INTO A THING, AND I THINK THIS'LL BE RIGHT, AND THEN THIS-- YOU KNOW, THE AUXILIARY HELP CAN'T SEEM TO COME UP WITH, UH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST THAT, UM IT HURTS YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? BECAUSE I COME OUT, I'M TRYING TO DO A GOOD JOKE, YOU PAID THE MONEY TO GET IN, AND YOU CAN'T SEE ONE BECAUSE I CAN'T GET A LITTLE HELP FROM THE BACKSTAGE CREW! [mock outrage.]
EXCU-U-USE ME! [laughter and applause.]
I'M SORRY, I'M PISSED! [playing pleasant banjo music.]
[music.]
- WHAT POSSIBLY IS LEFT FOR YOU TO DO TO HUMILIATE EVERY OTHER VERSATILE COMEDIAN IN THE COUNTRY? - UM, WELL, I-- I NEVER THINK OF IT AS DIVERSITY FOR DIVERSITY'S SAKE.
I JUST WAS ALWAYS INTERESTED IN WRITING-- - DO THE NEXT THING.
- AND, UH - YOU WERE ALWAYS A WRITER, SO YOU WERE A WRITER THROUGH YOUR WHOLE CAREER.
- I GUESS SO.
THAT'S TRUE.
I'M WORKING--AS YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN DOING MUSIC, AND I HAVE A NEW ALBUM COMING OUT NEXT APRIL WITH EDIE BRICKELL.
- YES, I KNOW EDIE BRICKELL.
- AND, UH WE CO-WROTE ALL THE SONGS ON THAT.
- OH, GREAT.
- WE'RE VERY, VERY PROUD OF THAT.
AND WE'RE--SHE AND I ARE WRITING A MUSICAL TOGETHER.
- A MUSICAL FOR, LIKE, BROADWAY, SOMETHING? - WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR.
- YOU JUST WRITE IT.
- IDEALLY, IT'S FOR BROADWAY.
- RIGHT, YOU WRITE IT AND THEN SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH IT.
- COULD BE FOR A SMALL THEATER IN SANTA MONICA.
I DON'T KNOW.
[laughter.]
- YOU KNOW, LILY, WE MET SORT OF AT THE BEGINNING OF YOUR CAREER, AND IT WAS-- EVEN THEN, THERE WAS-- IT'S NO SURPRISE TO ME THAT YOU'RE SITTING HERE WITH THIS INCREDIBLE CAREER THAT YOU'VE HAD ALL THESE YEARS.
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
- THANK YOU, DAVID, AND I LOVE BEING HERE.
- THANK YOU.
- SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
[applause.]
- HAVING KNOWN YOU FOR SO LONG AND SEEN YOU DO EVERYTHING, I STILL FIND YOU COMPLETELY REMARKABLE-- - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- AND LIKEWISE.
- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
[applause.]
[whimsical music.]
[music.]