Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s02e04 Episode Script

1
[shrieks, gasps]
Whoa!
Skadoosh.
[townspeople screaming in distance]
[screaming continues]
[energy crackling]
[jabbering]
[Po gasps]
[Rukhmini gasps]
[Blade gasps]
Dad?
[distorted jabbering]
[yells]
[distorted growling]
[in deep, raspy voice]
Who seeks the weapons?
Dad, don't freak out,
but you look a little
possessed?
[distorted jabbering]
[grunts]
[raspy yelling]
Dad!
[Mr. Ping groans]
[in normal voice]
I have a terrible headache.
[distorted growling]
Uh Dad?
[groans]
[all grunt]
- [distorted growling]
- Dad, stop!
[in deep, raspy voice]
I am not your weak goose father.
[Po] Uh, obvs. So, who are you?
I am Master Mastodon!
Master Mastodon?
[gasps] So cool!
Oh, no.
[Kyle] Oh, nice try. Missed me.
There we go. Whoops.
[Veruca panting]
[ukulele strumming]
[Klaus yells]
[slo-mo yell]
Oh, whoa ♪
Nice throw ♪
I don't want to fight you guys.
That would be most un-chill.
[grunts] Then here's an itty-bitty idea.
Hand me that helmet and be done with it!
Are y Are you crazy?
If you take this helmet,
you'll be leaving the mages to die.
Like the mages left me to die?
The mages have been
dead to me for 15 years.
Dead!
[Kyle grunts]
Goodbye, Kyle.
[Kyle] Goodbye, Kyle.
Goodbye, Kyle. That could be a song.
[screaming intensifies]
[all grunt]
[all groan]
[Po grunts]
No one shall wield
the power of the weapons!
You don't get it.
We're trying to find the weapons to s
[Po grunts]
- [clattering]
- [Rukhmini gasps]
[whip cracks]
You dare turn
the Whip of Master Long-Tooth
against me?
Stop!
We can't hurt him. That's my dad in there.
[Rukhmini grunts]
[thunder crashes]
- [Master Mastodon yells]
- The Skumaskot Kick. Watch out!
- [clattering]
- [all grunt]
Come on!
[Po grunts]
Son of a
Okay. [groans]
[Po screams]
[Po grunts]
[mechanism clanking in distance]
- [water flushing in distance]
- [Po gasps]
- Was that connected to a toilet?
- Look, look, look.
We'll tie him up until we figure out
how to exorcise an evil spirit.
[Blade gasps]
[all scream]
Surrender the whip!
Never! I rightfully stole it.
Hold him down! Now!
[all grunt]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[Blade groans]
Give up now, puny animals.
Move! He's about to do
his famous Fellibylur Punch!
[Master Mastodon yells]
[Po yells]
[grunting]
- [Blade] Hold him still. Hold him.
- [Po] I'm trying!
[Master Mastodon jabbering]
[Mr. Ping gasps] Po! [honks]
You leave my perfect son alone,
you ancient bully!
Dad?
[Master Mastodon]
Silence, weak and tiny goose man.
[Po groans]
[Blade] Come on!
He's got to get tired sometime, right?
I don't know. [panting]
He's an undead spirit.
[Po panting]
[Po gasps]
Maybe he's not following us anymore?
- Huh?
- [Master Mastodon] I will boil your eyes!
[Blade groans]
[Po] Blade!
Po, we have to defend ourselves.
No, listen to me.
We are not hurting my dad.
Lesser of two evils, remember?
[bull murmuring]
[steam hissing]
[bull sighs]
Blade, we can't
Po, we have to do this right now.
[Master Mastodon]
This is the end, cowardly creatures.
[groans] I have to do everything
around here.
[Rukhmini grunts]
[Master Mastodon groans]
[sighs]
Mm.
- [rumbling]
- Huh?
Wait, what? Huh?
- [bull screams]
- [child screams]
- [Blade grunts]
- [Rukhmini grunts]
[Po grunts]
Sorry. [chuckles]
Hey! Come back!
You gotta get me out of here! Huh?
- [bull groans]
- [thud]
[bull whimpers]
Phew! [chuckles]
See? We can find another way.
- Nobody has to fight anybody.
- [Blade gasps]
[townspeople screaming]
- Where is the whip, you pathetic mortals?
- [Jayesh] Hey!
We don't take kindly
to troublemakers in this town.
- [guards hissing]
- [blades clattering]
[Master Mastodon growls]
[townspeople screaming]
Dad?
[Kyle grunting]
[Veruca cackles]
[Kyle grunting]
- [rumbling]
- [Veruca grunts]
Whoa.
[Klaus shrieks]
Oh, come on, now.
[ukulele strumming]
Let's be friends ♪
[Veruca grunts, yells]
[Veruca grunts]
[Veruca panting]
We have a life here that's safe,
happy, a-and free.
A life that's completely ours.
You can join us.
I'm on your side, sister,
but they need this helmet to survive.
We can come back
once we have the other three.
[Veruca panting]
[Veruca yells]
[Veruca yells]
[Kyle whimpering]
[Kyle screams]
[Veruca chuckles]
[snake guards hissing]
Where is the whip?
Drop the dosa cart and get out of my city.
[cart clatters]
This body is weak.
[Mr. Ping gasps]
[Mr. Ping] I've worked very hard
for this body.
Do not listen to him.
[Master Mastodon grunts]
- [Master Mastodon cackles]
- [guards hissing]
I will rend the flesh from your bones!
[clattering]
[Master Mastodon yelling]
He's gonna get my dad killed!
How do we stop him?
[Blade] Po.
We have to fight your dad.
[Po groans]
No!
We could help him get control of his body
and stop Master Mastodon from the inside.
[sighs] We're running out of options.
He'll kill you.
He's got big murderer energy.
Maybe if we just choke him out, you know?
Like [grunts] Like
This isn't the emperor's guard
or monks or knights.
It's my dad!
And you let him come along,
knowing full well he'd be in danger.
[Po gasps, sighs]
I-I'm sorry. That was
No, you're right.
Just give me one more shot.
Rukhmini, I think
it's time to use the whip.
Are we gonna slice him in half?
Come on!
- [guards hissing]
- [Master Mastodon] Yeah!
[Master Mastodon grunts]
[guard grunts]
What? [groans]
[chuckles] Looking for this?
I will turn you into dust
and breathe you into my lungs
to fuel my rage!
[Master Mastodon yells]
- [Rukhmini grunts]
- [Po] Got it!
[Po panting]
[Po panting]
[Po grunts]
[both yell]
[Blade grunts]
[Master Mastodon groans]
[Po gasps]
[groans] Not again.
I will crush you into fine meal
to fertilize a small herb garden!
[Blade grunts]
[running footsteps]
[creaking in distance]
[creaking intensifies]
[raspy muttering]
Hmm. Ah.
Hmm.
Uh Hmm.
Oh.
Mm.
[Master Mastodon cackling in distance]
[sighs]
- [stomach rumbles]
- [Po sighs]
- [stomach gurgles]
- [sighs] Oh, not now, stomach, buddy.
- [stomach growls]
- [Po gasps]
[stomach growls echoing]
- [stomach growls echoing]
- [groans]
In my eons of sentience,
this is the foulest thing I've ever heard.
[sighs]
[Po yelps]
[Po yelps]
[Po panting]
Puny panda.
I'm above average for my age.
[Po yelps]
You can't escape me forever.
[water flowing]
I don't need to.
[grunts]
[yells]
Whoa!
[panting]
Now
Uh Ooh.
Hand it over, Panda boy!
I will not ask again.
We're on the same side here.
We want to protect the weapons too.
Then why are they holding that rope?
[Rukhmini chuckles] Uh
The Fimmálnaspottalækur
Pressure Point Sequence! No!
- No!
- [Rukhmini and Blade groan]
They're paralyzed, but in agonizing pain.
[Blade grunts]
It's actually not that bad.
Wait, really?
[mumbling] I-I can't feel my tongue.
[chuckles] W-well, i-it
it's been a few thousand years
since, you know
You still did a great job.
I try my best.
[Po] Hey, uh, Master Mastodon?
Before you boil our eyes, or whatever,
what's an ancient master doing
hiding out in a necklace?
For millennia, I have protected
the location of the Storm Wheels,
defeating all those that sought its power.
Some evil, some good.
When you live as long as I have,
it all becomes the same.
Huh.
And now, your time has come!
- [grunts]
- [Po gasps]
- [thunder crashing]
- [Kyle screaming]
[screaming continues]
[screaming stops]
[Kyle] No, no, no!
Veruca, please!
He doesn't want to kill you. See reason.
I've got four reasons right here.
[chuckles] One.
[Kyle whimpers]
- [Veruca] Two.
- [Kyle whimpers]
Wait!
[Kyle whimpers]
[Veruca] Three.
- [wind gusts]
- [Kyle gasps]
- And four.
- [Kyle] No, no, no!
[Kyle screams]
[both scream]
If this is it, I'm glad
I-I'm glad we found each other again.
[Klaus whimpers]
Uh
Huh?
Come on, Dad. Don't make me do this. No.
[Po gasps]
Po! You have to fight back!
[Po grunting]
Dad, I know you can stop him.
You can take control!
[Master Mastodon cackles]
Your father's mind
is even weaker than his body.
[Po yells]
[Po grunts]
[groans]
[panting]
[gasps]
Come out!
I'll make your death swift and painless
Mostly.
[cackles]
Your greed brought me here,
and now, I'll cure you of it.
- [gasps]
- Don't hide from your fate.
[slo-mo grunt]
[Po grunts]
[Po groans]
[Po gasps]
[Master Mastodon cackles]
Face me, and perish like the rest!
[grunts] Po, he'll kill you! Please!
Uh Uh
[Po gasps]
Fight me!
- [whip cracks]
- No.
No? [chuckles] What?
This mission was chosen for me,
but I still get to choose
who I am along the way.
I won't hurt my dad
any more than I already have.
[scoffs] Pitiful, just as I thought.
[both grunt]
[Mr. Ping honks]
[Mr. Ping] Leave my son alone!
Dad?
[Master Mastodon] Hey! How are you
[Master Mastodon grunts]
Get out of here!
[Mr. Ping honks]
[Mr. Ping] You want to talk about
who's weak? [chuckles]
You're in my body!
I do ten push-ups
and three crosswords a day,
so don't mess with Mr. Ping!
[Mr. Ping screams]
[Po sighs]
[Mr. Ping groans]
Dad!
Oh
Thank you for not killing me, son.
Dad, you just
You just defeated an ancient master!
Oh, is that who that guy was?
[sighs] Oh, weird.
I still feel him kicking around in there.
This is my fault.
I'm sorry I got you into this.
Oh, no.
I'm proud to be here with you, son.
And besides,
I kind of know what I signed up for.
Kind of.
Can I talk to him?
Well, I'll see if he's available.
[Master Mastodon grunts]
[Po groans]
We need your help.
[Po choking]
Two weasels are
on their way to the Storm Wheels now.
[Master Mastodon] Huh?
[Po sighs]
They're gonna bring back an army of
the spirits trapped in the weapons.
[coughs] Wow! Very tight grip.
No one must have the weapons.
Then will you help us?
We'll have to cross many seas
to the other side of the world.
Whoa. H-hold up.
So we don't need
the pendant-compass thing?
No. That was how
I lured the greedy into my deadly grasp.
Ah, tight, tight, tight.
Tight, tight, tight.
So, you're skipping town again, huh?
That's none of your concern, traitor.
Hmm. See that boat over there?
Uh, yeah. What of it?
[chuckles] It's yours.
What?
[Jayesh] No, it's mine.
[Jayesh chuckles]
In fact, now that I'm officially married,
this whole town is mine!
[townspeople gasp]
I'm going to flatten it
and put rickshaw lots
as far as the eye can see.
- [rooster squawks]
- [townspeople gasp]
Right.
Except you married my daughter,
so what's yours is hers.
And I just signed
everything over to my mother.
You didn't think my mother was
the only con artist left in town, did you?
[Jayesh] Huh?
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
That's not how that works!
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm a notary,
and I just made it official.
Which means this town is ours again.
[townspeople cheering]
But the deal is done.
I've already signed the paperwork.
I-I'll be ruined!
[Padma] Don't worry, my love.
You can work off your debt
at the restaurant.
[Jayesh hiccups]
[cheering continues]
Sorry we couldn't tell you.
You really did come at the worst time.
You conned me?
[Rukhmini laughs]
You conned me!
This is the greatest con
I've ever seen! Ha!
- [Po] I call front seat!
- [Blade] That's not how a boat works.
[Po giggles]
[Diya] I like your new team.
They're weird.
Don't wait another 30 years to come back.
[panting]
[cackles]
The Archmage is back!
[Veruca cackles]
Cheer up, brother.
We have two of
the most powerful weapons in the world,
and we're about to find the third.
[ship creaking]
- [wind gusting]
- [Klaus gasps]
Unless you'd prefer to stay?
[Klaus groans]
That's what I thought.