Lexx s02e04 Episode Script
Luvliner
Lexx 2.
04 Luvliner On a branch, there is a fruit.
Plump and ripe for sucking.
In her bed, there is a body.
Hot and right for - One on one.
Two on two.
You on me.
Me on you.
I got what you need, oh baby, baby.
Have you got something for me? How about a little bump and grind, momma? I want to feel your steam.
I want to ladle your cream.
Be careful - I'm slippery when wet.
I've been waiting so long - and it's getting so hard.
My name is Cortanyo - but you can call me the pulsing python of passion.
I am young, tanned, cut and buffed.
And unwelcome! I'm looking for a woman - Not here you're not! who doesn't tire easily.
She's not listening! But fair warning ladies - you may never walk again! I've got the love gun - are you next on my hit list.
My name is Dineeta.
Can you guess where my hand is right now? And do you know what I'd rather have there? Red alert! Massive object approaching.
I'm young, stunningly gorgeous, and insatiable.
I like my men cuddly, mature, and time-tested.
Are you out there, daddy man? Come to me - ravish me! So leave a message - I'll get back to you.
I'll get front to you.
I'll get all over you - because where there's meat, there needs to be motion.
Come for romance.
Come for sensual adventure.
Come to fan the flames of passion.
Luvliner - we're wide open - to anything.
Cruise in and unwind in the sultry lovers' lounge, with its relaxing garden courtyard.
The water in the gilded pool is always warm - and inviting.
And then kick back in one of our deluxe private accommodations.
Then dial up room service.
We guarantee your order will arrive - hot.
So why not follow the dream beam to Luvliner - you'll be so glad you did.
You'll find us at Queeb sector, quadrant 6LM7.
Hurry - we're waiting for you.
Lexx - did you get those co-ordinates? Yes, Stan Stop looking at her, you bile inducing lecher! Off! So -? So -? What do you think? I think, I want - one of those.
Lexx - let's go.
Hurry! Not exactly as advertised.
Welcome to Luvliner, we love having you here.
What do you want, speak? We - We - We want action.
Who doesn't? Well, it's all here.
We got babes, boys, beasts,thinner, fatter, hunks, chunks, monks, twins dipped in batter,the wiggle, the jiggle, the oo la la, people to spank you and sheep to go baaa! Right up your alley, Tweedle.
So - what's your poison? Well, can't we come down and check things out first? Got? Cash.
Coin.
Currency.
Well, what do you think, the staff's here for exercise? Well, we have no currency.
Or desire.
Xev, don't do it! But we've got things to trade! Well we don't trade.
But we have - A hearing problem! No trade! Listen bud - if it was up to me maybe we could bargain,but I'm not the owner here, and the owner's policy is hard currency only.
It's simple - no money, no honey.
So why don't you just take your big bug ship and turn it around and go and try and find something you can do for free, huh? By the way - what the hell is that thing? What kind of a loser flies around in a bug? A bug! Hey buddy, this is the Lexx, the most powerful destructive force in the two universes! Come on pal.
What do you think, I'm an idiot? Why don't you just get the hell out of here, before I come after you with my swatter.
This is a sex satellite, OK? Not a retard depository.
How about just one retard? Who said that? Nobody.
Nobody? like you! Did you hear that? Did you hear what he called me?! He called me a nobody! He was rude and unhygienic.
Let's be off, Xev.
Stan - you probably don't remember because you were frozen? He called me a nobody?! But when Kai punctured your heart and they wouldn't let us into the medical satellite - I gave them a little - demo.
Yeah.
Of course! Oh, buddy! I got things to do and you got no cash - buzz off.
Lexx - could you destroy that moon please? As you request, Stan.
Oh, that's real funny.
Well, um - hey, I completely forgot.
do I work too hard, or what? It's Bob's Comet Day! Yeah, that old Bob's Comet just flew by, and we like to mark the occasion with samples on the house, yeah.
It's your big time lucky feelgood ho ho Bob kind of day, yeah.
We got freebie visitor pass things, you know, whatever.
So, er, why don't you come onboard, good people? It's time for love.
Excellent.
Meat love does not compare to metal love.
I think I'll find that out for myself.
Agony! I don't know Stan.
Historically you don't have much luck in places like this.
I have a feeling my luck is about to change.
Let's hope so.
Times like this, I'm glad I have no sense of smell.
Hey, I've been telling you all day - no pay, no lay.
Please, I'm good for it! Hey beautiful! go for a dip? Pass.
You cheat! You worm! I'll kill you! I'll bust you up! Let go of those bars - now.
Let go of those bars - now! Oh you do, do you? You want more time?? I want every bit of my time! Oh, your time is over, pal! That's it, crawl away! Die slowly, buddy.
Oh, hey - it's so nice to see you in the flesh.
I'm glad you could make it.
Ooh, like the head.
The name is 790, cretin.
Hey, whatever you say, I'm easy.
So - you the whole crew? Kind of a big ship for two people.
Three! Two and a half.
There's one more onboard, he's not like us though.
Oh, so what's he like? Oh, you'd like to know? No, not really.
Just figured he'd want some fun.
No, he doesn't like fun.
He's an assassin.
He's killed people, thousands That's great.
So where are the babes? Oh yeah, right, babes I guess you're looking for some real hot fun, right? OK, the right for you, the left for you - and head gets the middle.
So, all you gotta do is step on in and let's get pumping.
By the way, I instructed that our spaceship can blow this place to smithereens if we're not back onboard in two hours.
Yes sir.
Yeah, that's quite a good precaution sir.
You know, you can't trust anyone in this universe these days.
You be sure and have a good stay with us, huh? And oh, by the way - Happy Bob's Comet Day! Xev, you can't be serious! There's no-one for me but you! Don't place me in the arms of another! Come on, a nice lady robot to rub your neck stump - you might like it.
I won't! Xev? Xev! Don't leave me Xev! Welcome, love seeker.
Please take a moment to help us learn just what sort of pleasure you seek.
Your preferences will be carefully processed, and the most appropriate candidates will be presented to you.
I'm after Xev.
Do you prefer the opposite sex, your own sex hybrid, or other alternative? If alternative, please specify - human, animal, plant, mineral, machine, virtual, or - Xev! Xev! Xev! Always and forever Xev! May your selection bring you the satisfaction you clearly deserve.
Muscles, yes.
not bad.
Not bad at all.
No, no, no - you're kidding, aren't you? There's a funny part, right? Must we? No, Xev! Xev, Xev, Xev! Aulk, that's what I'm saying, a giant bug - you should have seen that thing take out Boron 13.
Aulk, it was there, and boom! It wasn't.
Oh, it was unbelievable.
This is big, I'm telling you.
This is the big score! And the crew - there is only two? Er - and the robot head.
Right.
That's all? Nobody else? No.
They said something about, some assassin or something was onboard, I dunno Either there's an assassin onboard, or there isn't.
OK, so they said there was, but I don't believe 'em.
Why would anyone stay behind, huh? Everybody knows that assassins are crazy for nookie, right? Not all of them.
Did they say he was dead? Dead? How could he be dead? It's a crock, all right? They're just pulling my pudLook, I gotta go here so, you in or what? Maybe.
Oh, we're talking deal huh? I like it.
Me 90 you 10.
What? Forget about it.
There's a lotta guys I could offer this to.
I got people - Shut up, Schlemmi.
Anyway - I'll think about it.
Don't think too long, huh? Problem? Yes.
There is a problem.
Your selection sucks! I ordered attractive! Well, you're seeing top of the line sir.
It hasn't been a great year for recruiting.
Just dim the lights a little, you'll be fine.
See, I'm getting upset - and when I get upset, I like to cause trouble.
I'll, er, see what I can do sir.
She's our number one.
Hot.
Reserved for our top clients.
Give her a chance - you won't be disappointed.
No.
Close, but no No No! My name is Varrtan.
My body speaks for itself.
My sexual thirst can never be quenched.
Love is a fire - and I am the fireman.
Him.
OK.
Her.
Say - do you have any living well-built male bodies without heads? Come in.
I am Varrtan.
Are you ever.
You are unbelievably beautiful.
Well, you're not bad yourself.
Oh - a truly extraordinary woman.
and well versed in the ways of love.
Not really.
I was transformed into a love slave, but - But what? I've never done it before.
You're joking, of course.
A virgin? Not for much longer, am I? Come in.
I am Rissha.
What is your name? Stanley Tweedle, look nothing personal, but um - I was hoping for somebody a little more, you know, a little more I see.
I will go.
Good.
I mean, I'm sure you're very nice and everything, but you see, nice isn't exactly what they promised.
Does that make me a bad person? No.
You are the customer.
You should have what you want.
See, you understand! I mean, all I want is what they said they had, and now it turns out they don't have it, I mean not even close - I mean, personal preference wise.
You find me unattractive? I didn't mean it like that, I mean, you're not unattractive, I mean, not exactly most attractive either, see, what I'm trying to say - You don't have to say anything.
You obviously have certain standards, and expect them to be met.
Well yeah! Exactly! Thank you for seeing that.
It was obvious.
Hello! Is anyone listening? I demand to be taken back to Xev without delay! These others mean nothing to me! Only Xev owns my heart.
About time.
I've been waiting an eternity for someone like you.
You what? I wanna take it slow.
Look, my family is deep in debt.
and I only do this for the money - what little it pays.
But Xev - you are too special to waste on some cheap throwaway encounter.
I must gaze upon your body, drink you in, kneel at your feet, adore you, savour this sweetest of moments - So, let's just get on with it.
I've waited too long.
Get naked.
It's not that easy, I mean I - What?! I love you.
We just met two minutes ago.
I know, but it's real.
Then - take your pants off, and prove it.
It's all the same, after a while.
You know - same old this, same old that - it's all flesh on parade.
I take a look at everyone who comes in here - it's a job perk.
Lemmee tell ya, I've been stinking in a pile of 'em.
Fish girls from Pisac 3.
Man apes from Remblan 11.
I've even tussled with a couple of shell heads in my time.
And there's one furry nympho leper that still makes me all squishy inside.
But - my tastes have changed.
They - shall we say - evolved? You're my kind of fun now.
Um - Rissha? I'm sorry.
I wasn't very sensitive when you came in first - But I was a jerk, insulting you - I know I'm not - the prettiest flower in the vase Neither am I.
But I could make you very happy, if given a chance.
Yeah? Me too.
At least, I hope so.
Oh, I'm sure that you could.
Yeah, I think so.
I know that you could.
And Stan? I find you very attractive.
You - you do? In an unorthodox kind of way.
Hey, wait your turn! Get up, captain.
Up! Aulk! It's - well, it's - it is what it is! Get on that bed! Please - true love cannot be hurried.
The roots must be able to take hold and nourish the ever-blossoming flower - Move it! No, Xev, please, please.
No, no - This better be the one, Schlemmi.
Darling wonderful Xev! - are you all right? So - we don't need this one? She's cute.
Yeah - virgin, too.
How do you know? I listen in.
Virgin, huh? You like to experience new things.
I like to experience - the new.
She's coming with us.
Hey Flintock, hey Brose.
This is Schlemmi Ackakak, former manager of your skanky semen blasted piss-pit known as Luvliner.
That's right, you jar heads - I resign! You're dead, Schlemmi.
Me, dead? Now you listen.
For years you screwed me while I ran your freak show on that floating toilet - bad pay, no respect.
Well, you're gonna have your lips pressed against my butt for a change! So watch your monitors, pimp sisters - it's payback time.
Let's party! Let's party? I can't do it.
We may need you alive to drive this ship - but we don't need Little Miss Hump-Me-Now here.
If I raise the voltage on my stinger here, it'll barbecue her brain.
So, like I said - let's party.
Don't do it, Stan! Lexx - destroy the Luvliner.
As you request, Stan.
Yes! Woohoo! Goodbye, dog pound.
Goodbye, smell of urine and drunken whores, and creepy old men with hair on their backs and their hands down their pants! Seeya, skin lesions and open sores, stained sheets and soiled underwear, everywhere! Goodbye, overall rude behaviour.
Bye! OK, captain.
Tell the bug to set course for Omada 19.
Lexx - set course for Omada 19.
So I can deliver my resignation in person.
As you request, Stan.
Oh no.
Put him down! Who the hell's that? The dead frozen assassin.
What do we want with him? I mean - whatever keeps you dancing.
You moron! Do you know what we've got here? The Lexx! These are the people who stole it from His Shadow.
Yeah, so? His Shadow's dead.
I know.
But this guy isn't.
He's undead.
He can still get up and kill - us.
This blackpak here just gives him a warm feeling inside.
He's indestructible.
I heard there was one of these guys on the ship.
How do you know all this stuff? Because my ambition extends beyond screwing robot heads.
Yeah right, Mister Smart Guy.
So if he's so dangerous, why don't we get rid of him? That's why I hauled him up here, plug boy.
Don't do that, you'll wake him up! No I won't.
This is a cryogenic chamber.
He's frozen.
When he warms up - if he warms up - well, then we have a problem.
it's cool! Stop it! Stop it, or I'll - Stop it, or what? Stop it, or - or not.
Um - keep zapping it if you like, it's your choice I choose - to break your finger.
I like the stiff, but how are we getting rid of him? I don't wanna do this! Pay attention.
I'm letting go right now! No you're not.
Hey - how do I know you're not gonna leave me out here and keep the Lexx for yourself? I'm not.
I love you too much.
No, I love me too much! Listen up What? Turn your moth toward the sun.
Why? Because, you're going to fire him into it.
What? Just to be on the safe side.
Yeah, right.
Anything you say, Mister Overkill.
Now speed, get more speed.
Get more speed I don't trust you! Faster.
It's getting hot in here! Faster.
When? Hold it.
When?! Now! Let it go now! There.
Dead guy go bye bye.
OK.
Coming back now, I'm finished.
Can you hear me? I'm coming back to the ship now.
Drive safely.
You will pay! No.
We will play.
OK - he's history.
We're done.
Time to make boom boom on Omada 19, huh? Yeah.
Why not? Full steam ahead, captain.
Well, Nothing but time on our hands now.
So, are you - are you really a virgin? Are you? Well, this will be your first Your best, And your last.
No! Leave her alone! That costs you three fingers.
I've got some unfinished business myself.
Hi handsome.
I don't care what you do with me - but don't harm Xev! Don't worry - when Aulk's finished with her there won't be anything left to harm.
He's sick.
You know me.
Come on, baby.
And just when I thought it would never be special again.
I like the growl, baby.
You shouldn't.
Why not? Because it's a Cluster lizard growl.
Oh really? Really.
I'm part Cluster lizard.
For Kai! For Stan! Yeah, come on, get'em Xev! For 790! And my date! Stan, go after Kai's body.
Lexx - go after Kai's body.
It is very hot - but as you request, Stan.
Hey - I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Come on - gimmee a reason, huh? Go for it.
Bad girl.
Come on, go for it - where you want it, huh? Lexx - hard left, now! That's it, Xev! We'll have to skip the nasty, and cut straight to the fun.
It's too bad for you.
I'm heartbroken.
Get to her - go through me first! No more tricks.
Reverse course.
Do it, you! Kill Tweedle, leave Xev.
You're strong for a girl - but not strong enough.
Reverse course! Lexx - I command you to - I command you to - get that cryopod! Oh, I'm gonna have to hurt you now.
You've got a lot of spunk.
It would've been a ride to remember.
Now that's a ride for you to remember! You have no idea what a horrible influence that guy was on me.
He - he owned me.
He controlled me.
He forced me to commit terrible crimes! But thanks to you dear, special, and wonderful people, I am delivered from that unspeakable fiend.
And now, I can devote myself to the charitable work that I've always aspired to.
Oh - thank you.
Next time we go to a brothel, I'm taking you with me pal, as a bodyguard.
I am well suited to that position, Stanley.
Well, sorry for putting you in such jeopardy Kai.
You were only trying to meet your needs.
I still have some needs.
Your life will end in pain.
Me too, Stan.
And after what we've just been through, I know exactly what I'm looking for in a man.
He needs to be tall - Handsome - And - dead.
Dead Play that last part again for me, will ya? For years you screwed me while I ran your freak show on that floating toilet - bad pay, no respect.
Well, you're gonna have your lips pressed against my butt for a change! So watch your monitors, pimp sisters - it's payback time! Hi fellas.
Hi Schlemmi.
Ñèíõðîíèçàöèÿ è êîððåêòèðîâêà: DarkLight
04 Luvliner On a branch, there is a fruit.
Plump and ripe for sucking.
In her bed, there is a body.
Hot and right for - One on one.
Two on two.
You on me.
Me on you.
I got what you need, oh baby, baby.
Have you got something for me? How about a little bump and grind, momma? I want to feel your steam.
I want to ladle your cream.
Be careful - I'm slippery when wet.
I've been waiting so long - and it's getting so hard.
My name is Cortanyo - but you can call me the pulsing python of passion.
I am young, tanned, cut and buffed.
And unwelcome! I'm looking for a woman - Not here you're not! who doesn't tire easily.
She's not listening! But fair warning ladies - you may never walk again! I've got the love gun - are you next on my hit list.
My name is Dineeta.
Can you guess where my hand is right now? And do you know what I'd rather have there? Red alert! Massive object approaching.
I'm young, stunningly gorgeous, and insatiable.
I like my men cuddly, mature, and time-tested.
Are you out there, daddy man? Come to me - ravish me! So leave a message - I'll get back to you.
I'll get front to you.
I'll get all over you - because where there's meat, there needs to be motion.
Come for romance.
Come for sensual adventure.
Come to fan the flames of passion.
Luvliner - we're wide open - to anything.
Cruise in and unwind in the sultry lovers' lounge, with its relaxing garden courtyard.
The water in the gilded pool is always warm - and inviting.
And then kick back in one of our deluxe private accommodations.
Then dial up room service.
We guarantee your order will arrive - hot.
So why not follow the dream beam to Luvliner - you'll be so glad you did.
You'll find us at Queeb sector, quadrant 6LM7.
Hurry - we're waiting for you.
Lexx - did you get those co-ordinates? Yes, Stan Stop looking at her, you bile inducing lecher! Off! So -? So -? What do you think? I think, I want - one of those.
Lexx - let's go.
Hurry! Not exactly as advertised.
Welcome to Luvliner, we love having you here.
What do you want, speak? We - We - We want action.
Who doesn't? Well, it's all here.
We got babes, boys, beasts,thinner, fatter, hunks, chunks, monks, twins dipped in batter,the wiggle, the jiggle, the oo la la, people to spank you and sheep to go baaa! Right up your alley, Tweedle.
So - what's your poison? Well, can't we come down and check things out first? Got? Cash.
Coin.
Currency.
Well, what do you think, the staff's here for exercise? Well, we have no currency.
Or desire.
Xev, don't do it! But we've got things to trade! Well we don't trade.
But we have - A hearing problem! No trade! Listen bud - if it was up to me maybe we could bargain,but I'm not the owner here, and the owner's policy is hard currency only.
It's simple - no money, no honey.
So why don't you just take your big bug ship and turn it around and go and try and find something you can do for free, huh? By the way - what the hell is that thing? What kind of a loser flies around in a bug? A bug! Hey buddy, this is the Lexx, the most powerful destructive force in the two universes! Come on pal.
What do you think, I'm an idiot? Why don't you just get the hell out of here, before I come after you with my swatter.
This is a sex satellite, OK? Not a retard depository.
How about just one retard? Who said that? Nobody.
Nobody? like you! Did you hear that? Did you hear what he called me?! He called me a nobody! He was rude and unhygienic.
Let's be off, Xev.
Stan - you probably don't remember because you were frozen? He called me a nobody?! But when Kai punctured your heart and they wouldn't let us into the medical satellite - I gave them a little - demo.
Yeah.
Of course! Oh, buddy! I got things to do and you got no cash - buzz off.
Lexx - could you destroy that moon please? As you request, Stan.
Oh, that's real funny.
Well, um - hey, I completely forgot.
do I work too hard, or what? It's Bob's Comet Day! Yeah, that old Bob's Comet just flew by, and we like to mark the occasion with samples on the house, yeah.
It's your big time lucky feelgood ho ho Bob kind of day, yeah.
We got freebie visitor pass things, you know, whatever.
So, er, why don't you come onboard, good people? It's time for love.
Excellent.
Meat love does not compare to metal love.
I think I'll find that out for myself.
Agony! I don't know Stan.
Historically you don't have much luck in places like this.
I have a feeling my luck is about to change.
Let's hope so.
Times like this, I'm glad I have no sense of smell.
Hey, I've been telling you all day - no pay, no lay.
Please, I'm good for it! Hey beautiful! go for a dip? Pass.
You cheat! You worm! I'll kill you! I'll bust you up! Let go of those bars - now.
Let go of those bars - now! Oh you do, do you? You want more time?? I want every bit of my time! Oh, your time is over, pal! That's it, crawl away! Die slowly, buddy.
Oh, hey - it's so nice to see you in the flesh.
I'm glad you could make it.
Ooh, like the head.
The name is 790, cretin.
Hey, whatever you say, I'm easy.
So - you the whole crew? Kind of a big ship for two people.
Three! Two and a half.
There's one more onboard, he's not like us though.
Oh, so what's he like? Oh, you'd like to know? No, not really.
Just figured he'd want some fun.
No, he doesn't like fun.
He's an assassin.
He's killed people, thousands That's great.
So where are the babes? Oh yeah, right, babes I guess you're looking for some real hot fun, right? OK, the right for you, the left for you - and head gets the middle.
So, all you gotta do is step on in and let's get pumping.
By the way, I instructed that our spaceship can blow this place to smithereens if we're not back onboard in two hours.
Yes sir.
Yeah, that's quite a good precaution sir.
You know, you can't trust anyone in this universe these days.
You be sure and have a good stay with us, huh? And oh, by the way - Happy Bob's Comet Day! Xev, you can't be serious! There's no-one for me but you! Don't place me in the arms of another! Come on, a nice lady robot to rub your neck stump - you might like it.
I won't! Xev? Xev! Don't leave me Xev! Welcome, love seeker.
Please take a moment to help us learn just what sort of pleasure you seek.
Your preferences will be carefully processed, and the most appropriate candidates will be presented to you.
I'm after Xev.
Do you prefer the opposite sex, your own sex hybrid, or other alternative? If alternative, please specify - human, animal, plant, mineral, machine, virtual, or - Xev! Xev! Xev! Always and forever Xev! May your selection bring you the satisfaction you clearly deserve.
Muscles, yes.
not bad.
Not bad at all.
No, no, no - you're kidding, aren't you? There's a funny part, right? Must we? No, Xev! Xev, Xev, Xev! Aulk, that's what I'm saying, a giant bug - you should have seen that thing take out Boron 13.
Aulk, it was there, and boom! It wasn't.
Oh, it was unbelievable.
This is big, I'm telling you.
This is the big score! And the crew - there is only two? Er - and the robot head.
Right.
That's all? Nobody else? No.
They said something about, some assassin or something was onboard, I dunno Either there's an assassin onboard, or there isn't.
OK, so they said there was, but I don't believe 'em.
Why would anyone stay behind, huh? Everybody knows that assassins are crazy for nookie, right? Not all of them.
Did they say he was dead? Dead? How could he be dead? It's a crock, all right? They're just pulling my pudLook, I gotta go here so, you in or what? Maybe.
Oh, we're talking deal huh? I like it.
Me 90 you 10.
What? Forget about it.
There's a lotta guys I could offer this to.
I got people - Shut up, Schlemmi.
Anyway - I'll think about it.
Don't think too long, huh? Problem? Yes.
There is a problem.
Your selection sucks! I ordered attractive! Well, you're seeing top of the line sir.
It hasn't been a great year for recruiting.
Just dim the lights a little, you'll be fine.
See, I'm getting upset - and when I get upset, I like to cause trouble.
I'll, er, see what I can do sir.
She's our number one.
Hot.
Reserved for our top clients.
Give her a chance - you won't be disappointed.
No.
Close, but no No No! My name is Varrtan.
My body speaks for itself.
My sexual thirst can never be quenched.
Love is a fire - and I am the fireman.
Him.
OK.
Her.
Say - do you have any living well-built male bodies without heads? Come in.
I am Varrtan.
Are you ever.
You are unbelievably beautiful.
Well, you're not bad yourself.
Oh - a truly extraordinary woman.
and well versed in the ways of love.
Not really.
I was transformed into a love slave, but - But what? I've never done it before.
You're joking, of course.
A virgin? Not for much longer, am I? Come in.
I am Rissha.
What is your name? Stanley Tweedle, look nothing personal, but um - I was hoping for somebody a little more, you know, a little more I see.
I will go.
Good.
I mean, I'm sure you're very nice and everything, but you see, nice isn't exactly what they promised.
Does that make me a bad person? No.
You are the customer.
You should have what you want.
See, you understand! I mean, all I want is what they said they had, and now it turns out they don't have it, I mean not even close - I mean, personal preference wise.
You find me unattractive? I didn't mean it like that, I mean, you're not unattractive, I mean, not exactly most attractive either, see, what I'm trying to say - You don't have to say anything.
You obviously have certain standards, and expect them to be met.
Well yeah! Exactly! Thank you for seeing that.
It was obvious.
Hello! Is anyone listening? I demand to be taken back to Xev without delay! These others mean nothing to me! Only Xev owns my heart.
About time.
I've been waiting an eternity for someone like you.
You what? I wanna take it slow.
Look, my family is deep in debt.
and I only do this for the money - what little it pays.
But Xev - you are too special to waste on some cheap throwaway encounter.
I must gaze upon your body, drink you in, kneel at your feet, adore you, savour this sweetest of moments - So, let's just get on with it.
I've waited too long.
Get naked.
It's not that easy, I mean I - What?! I love you.
We just met two minutes ago.
I know, but it's real.
Then - take your pants off, and prove it.
It's all the same, after a while.
You know - same old this, same old that - it's all flesh on parade.
I take a look at everyone who comes in here - it's a job perk.
Lemmee tell ya, I've been stinking in a pile of 'em.
Fish girls from Pisac 3.
Man apes from Remblan 11.
I've even tussled with a couple of shell heads in my time.
And there's one furry nympho leper that still makes me all squishy inside.
But - my tastes have changed.
They - shall we say - evolved? You're my kind of fun now.
Um - Rissha? I'm sorry.
I wasn't very sensitive when you came in first - But I was a jerk, insulting you - I know I'm not - the prettiest flower in the vase Neither am I.
But I could make you very happy, if given a chance.
Yeah? Me too.
At least, I hope so.
Oh, I'm sure that you could.
Yeah, I think so.
I know that you could.
And Stan? I find you very attractive.
You - you do? In an unorthodox kind of way.
Hey, wait your turn! Get up, captain.
Up! Aulk! It's - well, it's - it is what it is! Get on that bed! Please - true love cannot be hurried.
The roots must be able to take hold and nourish the ever-blossoming flower - Move it! No, Xev, please, please.
No, no - This better be the one, Schlemmi.
Darling wonderful Xev! - are you all right? So - we don't need this one? She's cute.
Yeah - virgin, too.
How do you know? I listen in.
Virgin, huh? You like to experience new things.
I like to experience - the new.
She's coming with us.
Hey Flintock, hey Brose.
This is Schlemmi Ackakak, former manager of your skanky semen blasted piss-pit known as Luvliner.
That's right, you jar heads - I resign! You're dead, Schlemmi.
Me, dead? Now you listen.
For years you screwed me while I ran your freak show on that floating toilet - bad pay, no respect.
Well, you're gonna have your lips pressed against my butt for a change! So watch your monitors, pimp sisters - it's payback time.
Let's party! Let's party? I can't do it.
We may need you alive to drive this ship - but we don't need Little Miss Hump-Me-Now here.
If I raise the voltage on my stinger here, it'll barbecue her brain.
So, like I said - let's party.
Don't do it, Stan! Lexx - destroy the Luvliner.
As you request, Stan.
Yes! Woohoo! Goodbye, dog pound.
Goodbye, smell of urine and drunken whores, and creepy old men with hair on their backs and their hands down their pants! Seeya, skin lesions and open sores, stained sheets and soiled underwear, everywhere! Goodbye, overall rude behaviour.
Bye! OK, captain.
Tell the bug to set course for Omada 19.
Lexx - set course for Omada 19.
So I can deliver my resignation in person.
As you request, Stan.
Oh no.
Put him down! Who the hell's that? The dead frozen assassin.
What do we want with him? I mean - whatever keeps you dancing.
You moron! Do you know what we've got here? The Lexx! These are the people who stole it from His Shadow.
Yeah, so? His Shadow's dead.
I know.
But this guy isn't.
He's undead.
He can still get up and kill - us.
This blackpak here just gives him a warm feeling inside.
He's indestructible.
I heard there was one of these guys on the ship.
How do you know all this stuff? Because my ambition extends beyond screwing robot heads.
Yeah right, Mister Smart Guy.
So if he's so dangerous, why don't we get rid of him? That's why I hauled him up here, plug boy.
Don't do that, you'll wake him up! No I won't.
This is a cryogenic chamber.
He's frozen.
When he warms up - if he warms up - well, then we have a problem.
it's cool! Stop it! Stop it, or I'll - Stop it, or what? Stop it, or - or not.
Um - keep zapping it if you like, it's your choice I choose - to break your finger.
I like the stiff, but how are we getting rid of him? I don't wanna do this! Pay attention.
I'm letting go right now! No you're not.
Hey - how do I know you're not gonna leave me out here and keep the Lexx for yourself? I'm not.
I love you too much.
No, I love me too much! Listen up What? Turn your moth toward the sun.
Why? Because, you're going to fire him into it.
What? Just to be on the safe side.
Yeah, right.
Anything you say, Mister Overkill.
Now speed, get more speed.
Get more speed I don't trust you! Faster.
It's getting hot in here! Faster.
When? Hold it.
When?! Now! Let it go now! There.
Dead guy go bye bye.
OK.
Coming back now, I'm finished.
Can you hear me? I'm coming back to the ship now.
Drive safely.
You will pay! No.
We will play.
OK - he's history.
We're done.
Time to make boom boom on Omada 19, huh? Yeah.
Why not? Full steam ahead, captain.
Well, Nothing but time on our hands now.
So, are you - are you really a virgin? Are you? Well, this will be your first Your best, And your last.
No! Leave her alone! That costs you three fingers.
I've got some unfinished business myself.
Hi handsome.
I don't care what you do with me - but don't harm Xev! Don't worry - when Aulk's finished with her there won't be anything left to harm.
He's sick.
You know me.
Come on, baby.
And just when I thought it would never be special again.
I like the growl, baby.
You shouldn't.
Why not? Because it's a Cluster lizard growl.
Oh really? Really.
I'm part Cluster lizard.
For Kai! For Stan! Yeah, come on, get'em Xev! For 790! And my date! Stan, go after Kai's body.
Lexx - go after Kai's body.
It is very hot - but as you request, Stan.
Hey - I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Come on - gimmee a reason, huh? Go for it.
Bad girl.
Come on, go for it - where you want it, huh? Lexx - hard left, now! That's it, Xev! We'll have to skip the nasty, and cut straight to the fun.
It's too bad for you.
I'm heartbroken.
Get to her - go through me first! No more tricks.
Reverse course.
Do it, you! Kill Tweedle, leave Xev.
You're strong for a girl - but not strong enough.
Reverse course! Lexx - I command you to - I command you to - get that cryopod! Oh, I'm gonna have to hurt you now.
You've got a lot of spunk.
It would've been a ride to remember.
Now that's a ride for you to remember! You have no idea what a horrible influence that guy was on me.
He - he owned me.
He controlled me.
He forced me to commit terrible crimes! But thanks to you dear, special, and wonderful people, I am delivered from that unspeakable fiend.
And now, I can devote myself to the charitable work that I've always aspired to.
Oh - thank you.
Next time we go to a brothel, I'm taking you with me pal, as a bodyguard.
I am well suited to that position, Stanley.
Well, sorry for putting you in such jeopardy Kai.
You were only trying to meet your needs.
I still have some needs.
Your life will end in pain.
Me too, Stan.
And after what we've just been through, I know exactly what I'm looking for in a man.
He needs to be tall - Handsome - And - dead.
Dead Play that last part again for me, will ya? For years you screwed me while I ran your freak show on that floating toilet - bad pay, no respect.
Well, you're gonna have your lips pressed against my butt for a change! So watch your monitors, pimp sisters - it's payback time! Hi fellas.
Hi Schlemmi.
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