Mad (2010) s02e04 Episode Script
Straight A Team & Gaming's Next Top Model
We interrupt your usual program for some breaking news! Early photos of Andrew Garfield as the new Spider-Man are leaked onto the Internet.
Our apologies.
That was former president James Garfield, who apparently was also a big Spider-Man fan.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
In 1982, a group of students went to detention for a crime they probably committed.
Today, still working off their punishment, they survive as below average tutors.
If you've got a problem, if no one can else can help, and if you're struggling to make the honor roll, maybe you can hire "The Straight A-Team.
" Aah! Who wants extra credit? Don't worry about that test, kid! We're here to help you! - Ooh! Come on! Get in! - Not really supposed to No time for jibber jabber! Let's go! Aah! Oh.
Hang on a second.
Got to jiggle it.
Here.
Oh.
Not quite.
Here we go.
OK.
Little Timmy needs our help to get straight As.
Actually, it's Alan, and are you sure you guys are tutors? You look more like mechanics.
We're both.
We're mechutors.
Who do you think taught these guys how to build cool things - out of nothing? - Uh OK.
Here's the plan.
B.
A.
, you go undercover and help him ace his U.
S.
History class.
Hmm.
Important event that took place in 1849.
Hey, fool! "Gold rush.
" Isn't that cheating? I've got the whole Declaration of Independence on my butt! Sorry.
That was a dishonorable discharge.
Murdock, you'll create a distraction while Face gives him a hand in Art.
Glll! Glll! - Straight from Paris.
- Ohh! And I'll make sure you get a good grade in Algebra by hacking into the school's mainframe.
Enter password? They're on to us! And for the grand finale, we'll band together to complete his Science project.
Actually, I'll stick with my lab partners for that one.
Phineas and Ferb?! Hey, Ferb.
I know what we're gonna do today make a better science project than the Straight A-Team! Not if we can help it.
Quick, boys.
Grab what you can.
We'll show Hideous and Nerd her who the better builders are.
Hey.
I wasn't finished! Time's up! What do you guys have? We made a black hole recycling bin.
What did you guys make? We made a van with a shovel, a wheel, and a toilet stuck to it.
Well, I think it's clear who gets the "A.
" Wait.
Did we also explain that I can explode into a cool fireworks display? Really? Let's see.
Where did we leave the remote? It must be in the van.
Hey.
Where's Perry? Nice work, boys! I know I promised you an "A," but are you OK with A-plus instead? Yes, yes, I am.
Aah! And legend has it that Clay Aiken is still making music today.
He's just trying to scare us.
Mad! Next on "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!" Carly and Sam get jobs.
- We got jobs! - Yay! As matadors! Aah! "áay Carly!" And Freddie takes over the show.
Uh-oh! Hi.
I'm Carly.
And I'm Sam! And I'm confused.
"áay Carly!" Plus Spencer gets into some real hot water.
Uh, it's not water.
It's soup.
"áay Carly!" All this and more on an all-new "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!" Followed by "Sponge Roberto Squarepants.
" I'm ready! All right, fellas.
It's pay day.
Tom, Frank, Sol.
Whoo-hoo! TGIF! This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Do you hate trying to figure out what SPF you need in your sunscreen? Then why settle for a copper tan when you can get an iron tone Iron Man's irontone.
- Hi.
I'm Iron Man.
- Unh! And if there's one thing more damaging than my pulsar rays, it's the harmful rays of the sun.
That's why I've designed the perfect sunblock, irontone.
Created by a scientist in a cave, irontone keeps out the harmful elements found at the beach.
Forget about all those messy lotions.
Irontone is just 200 pounds of sun-deflecting iron.
You can lie there all day and not worry about the sun.
Actually, I can't get up.
Irontone protects you on the beach, at play, and even on your boat, and with irontone, no more worrying that your protection will wash off.
Stay in all day if you want, and when you're done, you'll finally have that golden brown glow you've been striving for, otherwise known as rust.
Irontone, the strongest sunblock not on the market.
"Mad" takes a look at celebrities without their makeup.
"Glee's" Jane Lynch causes whiplash when seen without her makeup.
Zach Galifianakis looks like a regular guy without his cover-up.
Snow White's beauty seems to melt away under the lights.
Mike Tyson looks like he's gone to the dogs without a little help from foundation, and Adrien Brody knows when to apply a little touch-up, and that's "Celebrities Without Their Makeup.
" Dale.
I thought you were the sunrise for a minute.
I should really change this ringtone.
Now it's time for "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.
" Is that a wrestling hold? No.
They arrived in that condition from an overcrowded bus.
No.
They have one pair of trunks, and this is how they share it.
No! It's chilly in here, and they have to cuddle to stay warm.
Mad, mad, mad, mad! And now the differences between your mom and your dad.
Mom sometimes forgets your schedule.
Is today baseball or soccer? Dad sometimes forgets your name.
Uh, hey, there, uh, champ.
Mom won't let you play video games.
Ah-ah.
Dad won't let you play his video games.
Scram! Mom likes new clothes.
Dad has clothes.
Mom loves to read in bed.
Dad loves to read elsewhere.
Mom loves cop shows.
Dad is on cop shows.
Boy, have your mother call the attorney.
And those are the differences between your mom and your dad.
Unh! Aah! Aah! Mad! It's time for a "A Mad Look Inside Taylor Lautner's Thoughts.
" Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! At last! My new formula will quench thirst twice as fast as one glass of water.
Great Scott! What is it? Two glasses of water! I hate you.
From the Mushroom Kingdom to the Lilac System, they came to show off their pixels.
Now only 3 sprites remain.
Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, bounty hunter Samus Aran, one of you will be Gaming's Next Top Princess.
I like-a Princess Peach-a.
Yeah, we know.
You know, because it's a-me a-Mario! We know! I think Peach and Zelda kind of want me to be eliminated.
It might be because I kind of sort of destroyed their bedroom with my gun arm.
For this week's shoot, we're getting in touch with your bad sides, and we've invited some special friends to help out.
What's up, ladies? Don't be so afraid! He won't bite.
I never promised that.
Aah! I'm Super Mario Bros.
Right now.
I need to be Mario Galaxy.
Come on, Zelda! Don't you have anything else you can give me? Love it! That's your bad guy? Oh, aah! Ohh! Aah! Ohh.
Oh, my gosh! You're gorgeous! Now we're ready to choose Gaming's Next Top Princess.
And Gaming's Next Top Princess Is "áay Carly!" Yay! Aah! "áay Carly!" Uh-oh! "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!"
Our apologies.
That was former president James Garfield, who apparently was also a big Spider-Man fan.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
In 1982, a group of students went to detention for a crime they probably committed.
Today, still working off their punishment, they survive as below average tutors.
If you've got a problem, if no one can else can help, and if you're struggling to make the honor roll, maybe you can hire "The Straight A-Team.
" Aah! Who wants extra credit? Don't worry about that test, kid! We're here to help you! - Ooh! Come on! Get in! - Not really supposed to No time for jibber jabber! Let's go! Aah! Oh.
Hang on a second.
Got to jiggle it.
Here.
Oh.
Not quite.
Here we go.
OK.
Little Timmy needs our help to get straight As.
Actually, it's Alan, and are you sure you guys are tutors? You look more like mechanics.
We're both.
We're mechutors.
Who do you think taught these guys how to build cool things - out of nothing? - Uh OK.
Here's the plan.
B.
A.
, you go undercover and help him ace his U.
S.
History class.
Hmm.
Important event that took place in 1849.
Hey, fool! "Gold rush.
" Isn't that cheating? I've got the whole Declaration of Independence on my butt! Sorry.
That was a dishonorable discharge.
Murdock, you'll create a distraction while Face gives him a hand in Art.
Glll! Glll! - Straight from Paris.
- Ohh! And I'll make sure you get a good grade in Algebra by hacking into the school's mainframe.
Enter password? They're on to us! And for the grand finale, we'll band together to complete his Science project.
Actually, I'll stick with my lab partners for that one.
Phineas and Ferb?! Hey, Ferb.
I know what we're gonna do today make a better science project than the Straight A-Team! Not if we can help it.
Quick, boys.
Grab what you can.
We'll show Hideous and Nerd her who the better builders are.
Hey.
I wasn't finished! Time's up! What do you guys have? We made a black hole recycling bin.
What did you guys make? We made a van with a shovel, a wheel, and a toilet stuck to it.
Well, I think it's clear who gets the "A.
" Wait.
Did we also explain that I can explode into a cool fireworks display? Really? Let's see.
Where did we leave the remote? It must be in the van.
Hey.
Where's Perry? Nice work, boys! I know I promised you an "A," but are you OK with A-plus instead? Yes, yes, I am.
Aah! And legend has it that Clay Aiken is still making music today.
He's just trying to scare us.
Mad! Next on "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!" Carly and Sam get jobs.
- We got jobs! - Yay! As matadors! Aah! "áay Carly!" And Freddie takes over the show.
Uh-oh! Hi.
I'm Carly.
And I'm Sam! And I'm confused.
"áay Carly!" Plus Spencer gets into some real hot water.
Uh, it's not water.
It's soup.
"áay Carly!" All this and more on an all-new "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!" Followed by "Sponge Roberto Squarepants.
" I'm ready! All right, fellas.
It's pay day.
Tom, Frank, Sol.
Whoo-hoo! TGIF! This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Do you hate trying to figure out what SPF you need in your sunscreen? Then why settle for a copper tan when you can get an iron tone Iron Man's irontone.
- Hi.
I'm Iron Man.
- Unh! And if there's one thing more damaging than my pulsar rays, it's the harmful rays of the sun.
That's why I've designed the perfect sunblock, irontone.
Created by a scientist in a cave, irontone keeps out the harmful elements found at the beach.
Forget about all those messy lotions.
Irontone is just 200 pounds of sun-deflecting iron.
You can lie there all day and not worry about the sun.
Actually, I can't get up.
Irontone protects you on the beach, at play, and even on your boat, and with irontone, no more worrying that your protection will wash off.
Stay in all day if you want, and when you're done, you'll finally have that golden brown glow you've been striving for, otherwise known as rust.
Irontone, the strongest sunblock not on the market.
"Mad" takes a look at celebrities without their makeup.
"Glee's" Jane Lynch causes whiplash when seen without her makeup.
Zach Galifianakis looks like a regular guy without his cover-up.
Snow White's beauty seems to melt away under the lights.
Mike Tyson looks like he's gone to the dogs without a little help from foundation, and Adrien Brody knows when to apply a little touch-up, and that's "Celebrities Without Their Makeup.
" Dale.
I thought you were the sunrise for a minute.
I should really change this ringtone.
Now it's time for "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.
" Is that a wrestling hold? No.
They arrived in that condition from an overcrowded bus.
No.
They have one pair of trunks, and this is how they share it.
No! It's chilly in here, and they have to cuddle to stay warm.
Mad, mad, mad, mad! And now the differences between your mom and your dad.
Mom sometimes forgets your schedule.
Is today baseball or soccer? Dad sometimes forgets your name.
Uh, hey, there, uh, champ.
Mom won't let you play video games.
Ah-ah.
Dad won't let you play his video games.
Scram! Mom likes new clothes.
Dad has clothes.
Mom loves to read in bed.
Dad loves to read elsewhere.
Mom loves cop shows.
Dad is on cop shows.
Boy, have your mother call the attorney.
And those are the differences between your mom and your dad.
Unh! Aah! Aah! Mad! It's time for a "A Mad Look Inside Taylor Lautner's Thoughts.
" Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! At last! My new formula will quench thirst twice as fast as one glass of water.
Great Scott! What is it? Two glasses of water! I hate you.
From the Mushroom Kingdom to the Lilac System, they came to show off their pixels.
Now only 3 sprites remain.
Princess Peach, Princess Zelda, bounty hunter Samus Aran, one of you will be Gaming's Next Top Princess.
I like-a Princess Peach-a.
Yeah, we know.
You know, because it's a-me a-Mario! We know! I think Peach and Zelda kind of want me to be eliminated.
It might be because I kind of sort of destroyed their bedroom with my gun arm.
For this week's shoot, we're getting in touch with your bad sides, and we've invited some special friends to help out.
What's up, ladies? Don't be so afraid! He won't bite.
I never promised that.
Aah! I'm Super Mario Bros.
Right now.
I need to be Mario Galaxy.
Come on, Zelda! Don't you have anything else you can give me? Love it! That's your bad guy? Oh, aah! Ohh! Aah! Ohh.
Oh, my gosh! You're gorgeous! Now we're ready to choose Gaming's Next Top Princess.
And Gaming's Next Top Princess Is "áay Carly!" Yay! Aah! "áay Carly!" Uh-oh! "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!" "áay Carly!"