Marley's Ghosts (2011) s02e04 Episode Script

WOMAN ON TV: Charles is not a fool.
MAN ON TV: Any man that would drive you into my arms is a fool.
WOMAN ON TV: I'm not in your arms.
MAN ON TV: Not yet.
- WOMAN ON TV: You're very confident.
Oh, I think they're gonna kiss! Yeah.
It's lovely, isn't it? - Yeah.
You know there's football on the other side? She's being very naughty though, isn't she? 'Cos she's engaged to Charles.
She's seeing the blacksmith and now she's doing this with this one.
If anyone's interested, there's football - on the other side? Have you ever thought about meeting someone else? Not sure I want Marley to meet someone else.
Being a bit possessive, aren't you, Michael? - Am I? Oh, yeah.
Very ugly side to your personality.
Marley should be allowed to have a good time.
If she wants to meet someone, who are we to stop her? Thank you, Adam.
- Pleasure You don't want to though, do you? What? - Meet someone.
Well, you just said I could.
You just said, 'Who are you to stop me?' Bloody husband, that's who.
- You said I should be allowed to have a good time.
Yeah but I-I said it before I realised that you actually wanted to! Being a bit possessive, aren't you, Adam? - Oh, shh Michael! OK.
I think we need to talk.
What do you mean, talk? What about? Men? No.
We agreed that we weren't seeing other people.
No, no, no, no.
You agreed we wouldn't see other people because other people can't see you.
- Well, I'm still your husband! You're still dead.
Look, in a relationship, when someone dies, that's usually it.
Yeah, but it doesn't mean I don't love you.
I mean, it's not easy being a man that can't touch his wife or himself for that matter.
Why would you want to touch - Don't worry about it, Vicar.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Oh, hi Abby.
Yeah, hang on.
Hi.
Yeah.
Er, oh no, I can't tomorrow.
Mia's art thing, oh, yes, no, I'm er, I'm meeting someone.
What's going on? Look, this has got nothing to do with you.
I think it's got everything to do with me.
Er, yes, yes.
Yes (WHISPERS) it's a man.
Who are you talking to, Marley? Marley, what man? We've spoken about this.
You're dead, I'm not.
I'm allowed a life.
Who is he? - It's no big deal.
We've just met.
No big deal and he gets that dress? - Right.
Candles.
She's doing candles.
ADAM SCOFFS Soft lights, soft music.
All I got was chicken.
Did you get chicken? Don't think so.
- Yes you did, the one with the beetroot sauce.
That was chicken? - What did you think it was? Not chicken? Some kind of pickled fish.
Did it taste like fish? - Never dared try.
Napkin in the lap? - Every time.
DOORBELL RINGS - Oh! He's here! How do I look? Wish me luck? No.
You want permission to go and seduce this man? 'Cos you're not getting it.
I don't need your permission to seduce him.
No, all she needs is that dress.
I mean, hubba hubba.
- SHE LAUGHS Don't be silly.
DOORBELL RINGS - MARLEY: Oh! Look, you know I love you both.
Haven't done this for a while.
Bit nervous.
I just really want this evening to be a success.
MARLEY: Any advice? - Actually, yes.
I'm not gonna serve the chicken.
Then, no.
Vicar, do you think you could? - Oh! Hubba hubba! - Thanks! I think she's serious about this guy.
DOORBELL RINGS Oh.
I don't know what I've done wrong.
You do your best.
They just don't listen.
Who don't? The bloody teenagers.
They're - my bloody teenagers and my Mia.
I have sacrificed everything for that girl.
I could have been a heart surgeon.
I could have been an architect.
I could have been a magistrate.
I thought you were going to open a snail farm.
Oh, whatever.
She's always asking about you.
She doesn't wanna know about me.
My life.
Probably 'cos I haven't got one.
She's got photos of you all over her room.
Everybody loves Marley.
Marley's perfect.
Everything Marley does is perfect! Have you tried her chicken? - What? Nothing! What? - Nothing.
Ah, you've got a man coming round.
Yes Abby.
I have.
So, if you could just I never have a man coming round.
Why d'you think that is? It's a puzzle.
MARLEY SCREAMS That was brilliant! Front door was open.
So, you decided to come and save my life? - Well! Like Superman! She fell off a chair, not a cliff.
I should put you down.
No rush.
- Put her down! Yeah and when you do, can I have a go? Cos he's smashing.
Where did you find him? I have lunch at the Italian, on the high street.
Put her down! Thank you.
One day Marley came in, and then she came in again and again and again and I thought Stalker.
- Yup.
Really? - No, of course not.
I thought how beautiful you were.
Um, er, hello.
Are you going to introduce me? Er, this is Todd.
Todd ABBY THUMPS ONTO FLOOR That was my sister, Abby.
- Is she OK? ABBY GROANS - She's upset.
Let me take a look.
SHE GROANS Pulse is a bit fast.
Oh, all of a sudden he's a doctor! It's OK, I'm a doctor.
- Oh, shut up.
I can't get through to my daughter anymore.
Teenager? - Mmm.
How do you know? Well, the ageing mother - teen daughter dynamic is very difficult.
Oh, one minute he's a doctor, the next minute he's an expert on mother-daughter relations.
I've written a number of books on mother-daughter relations.
Again, shut up.
Come on.
- Oh.
There you are.
- Ah! Oh! Oh.
He's so strong.
I used to box.
Really? Shut up! If you just wanna take her through to the front room.
It's quieter there.
ADAM GAGS ABBY GROANS Here you go.
She was always the pretty one! She always got the boys.
Now she's got a man.
You do know Marley had a husband.
- She still does! Hmm he was rubbish.
- Thanks, Abby.
What are you supposed to do, eh, when your sister's got tears pouring down her face? I don't know, slap it? - Bit harsh.
And she wasn't happy with her husband, so she took a lover.
A handsome rogue of a fellow.
But he was rubbish too.
I never got the looks.
You're a doctor.
What would you do? Injections? Surgery? What would you do with this face? - Adam just had a great idea.
Why her? Why Marley? Why not me? What? Abby's painting for her art competition.
I've just seen it and she didn't paint me.
She painted you! Why? Is her mum not beautiful? Is it a good painting? - I didn't even know there was a painting.
It's really beautiful! Everyone is looking at it.
Why, what am I doing? You're just standing there.
Nude.
Nude? I think we should take a look.
If anyone ever did a nude of me, I'd wanna see it.
So would I.
- When you say nude, how nude? That is really very nude.
ADAM: Yep.
As I remember it, that's pretty much everything.
Aunty Marley.
So pleased you could make it.
So, I did it based on memory and imagination.
What do you think? Oh.
Er God.
It's sexy.
I think it's a very accurate depiction.
Yeah.
Mia's very talented.
I'm her art teacher.
Oh! You did a great job.
Thank you.
You don't mind that I showed your bottom? Why should she? Marley's got a great bottom! You're a very talented young lady.
- Thank you! Did you mean that? What? Mia talented thing or the great bottom thing? No, the Mia talented thing.
Well, actually, the great bottom thing 'cos I put this dress on today and I'm not sure if it's a bit You look great.
Oh! Sorry my sister messed up our evening.
No, I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
Art's a passion of mine.
Oh.
So, um What about tomorrow? - Yes! um yeah.
Great, er, shall we, er? - Oh, yes.
She's even done that mole on Marley's thigh forgotten about that mole.
I remember the first time I saw it.
Well don't.
Forget about the first time you saw it.
We'd booked a hotel room and she - Forget about your time with Marley! It's not you and Marley, or him and Marley - - it's me and Marley! Oh they're having a moment.
ADAM: They're not having a moment! Oh, I think they're having a moment! - They're not having a bloody moment! VICAR GASPS Marley! Stop having a moment! Would you just excuse me a minute? Vicar! Yeah, s'cuse me.
Girls' stuff.
Oh! I really like him! - What's not to like? He really likes the painting.
I'm not sure I really look like that without my clothes on.
I mean, he might actually see me without clothes on.
What if he's disappointed? Oh, I've seen you without your clothes on and I wasn't disappointed.
Oh! Just pretend I didn't say that.
- SHE LAUGHS Yes.
No, it's probably for the best.
We need to talk.
N-n-not now, Adam.
Having a moment.
- Having a moment.
Come on.
No running in the corridors.
Braithwaite! No running! Oh.
Sorry.
Didn't really introduce myself.
I'm Mr Danes.
Yes, the art teacher.
- Mmm.
The judging's tomorrow.
She stands a great chance.
Oh, good news.
Marley.
Can we talk? S'cuse me.
Oh, no running in the oh, sorry.
Just habit.
ADAM: 'Cos I don't think it's very fair on me! MARLEY: I've got forty years left! ADAM: How do you think I feel about this? MARLEY: Nothing! ADAM: I'm supposed to just sit here MARLEY: Do you really think it's enough for me to hang out with three We should do something, shouldn't we? ADAM: well not for the rest of your life but It's only been 4 months! You can't hold me, touch me, you can't kiss me.
I mean.
I'm still a young woman and I have Don't say it.
- I'm gonna say it! I don't want to hear it.
Needs! - ADAM GROANS What about the certificate that says you're my wife? What about the certificate that says you're dead? I- I just don't like this Todd.
Well, I'm sorry, Adam but I do.
Oh.
It was just a kiss.
You can't really blame her, can you? He is a lovely looking chap! He's got a great body and a good sense of humour.
Is that it? Is that all he's got? It's more than you ever had.
I had the looks and the body and a sense of humour.
Didn't I, Marley? Well, considering you think you had the looks and the body then I'll say yeah, you definitely had a sense of humour.
Thank you.
That wasn't a compliment, was it? Probably didn't mean anything.
It was just a It was just a kiss.
I can't stand watching the woman I love being kissed by someone else.
And it won't stop at kissing.
Start using his hands.
One thing will lead to another.
Let's hope so.
- See? You know what she's like.
Couple of glasses of wine and things could start getting steamy.
Yeah.
Good times.
I remember when I first met Marley.
She couldn't help herself.
She was like a wild cat.
- I was not like a wild Really? Well, she's not like a wild cat now, she's like a domestic cat.
Seen better days, happy with your lot.
I don't think I am happy with my lot, Adam.
I've still got a life to lead.
I remember this one time we were sipping on some cold, champagne wine - Would you stop it! Stop having memories about my wife.
Oh, at least you've got memories to enjoy.
I've never even been - Oh, mine are all blurred.
Drunk half the time.
Well, whose fault was that? - And you're still my wife.
You're still dead.
DOORBELL RINGS Oh! ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS TODD: Really is a lovely home.
You're not moving in.
Thank you.
When my husband passed away, I got a generous insurance settlement, so He obviously cared about you.
- I paid the premiums.
I had to die.
Anyway, let's not talk about my dead husband.
TODD: My passion was always my work.
Now it's you.
Oh! - That is a good line.
Yeah.
I'd fall for it.
VICAR GASPS Alright.
Just bloody stop it.
You haven't even eaten yet.
Marley.
Marley? Marley Just stop it! ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES I'd better, um, check on dinner.
Right.
She seems happy.
We both love her.
We should want her to be happy.
I do want her to be happy.
With me.
How is he? Is he alright? Are you alright? Look, Adam, you know that it's not that I don't love you.
And me? You love me as well.
- Yeah, and you, Michael.
But me more.
- Both of you.
But me more.
- I love you both.
But me - Adam! She loves you both.
You're my men.
My boys.
It's just that I can't hold you or kiss you or touch you.
No, you can't.
And so, that's why I'm gonna go and be with someone that can.
Oh.
I know this is a difficult moment for you, Adam but I want you to think about Joseph.
Who? Mary's husband.
'Cos he was probably in the room next door when Mary was with God you know, making Jesus.
Yeah.
Um, but when they'd done it - and this bit will cheer you up Never spoke again.
He never got back in contact.
Yeah, just left her to bring up the child, on his own.
Didn't help out with money or anything.
Not the school run, or homework, which is a bit of a shame really, isn't it 'cos he'd have been good at that, 'cos God knows stuff.
Well, He knows everything doesn't he? OK? At Vicar School, did you actually learn anything? Did you read the books? I tried.
But it's complex you see, 'cos it's like there's more there's a new one, an old one It's gone real quiet, hasn't it? Yeah Do you think I should, er should we go and have a look? I don't wanna see.
They're probably just talking, just quietly.
Probably.
ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS They're out of the front room and they're half way up the stairs.
Where are they going? Where do you think? Not gonna make it.
No, they've started stuff.
ADAM SIGHS - How can they do it on the stairs? Not difficult.
I remember one time, me and Marley were - Oh shut up, Michael! It's bad enough him and her, but you and her, that's that just doesn't bear thinking about! You are though, aren't you? - Just shut up, Michael.
MARLEY SOBS Does that sound like sex? How would I know? I'm a vicar.
Vicars can have sex.
- Really? You really didn't read the books, did you? - ADAM SIGHS I don't think that's sex.
- That sounds like someone else.
That's crying.
- That's Mia.
I just wanted to talk to someone.
Mum's gone out drinking.
Well, look Mia.
I'm a bit busy at the moment.
Normally I talk to my boyfriend but he's not talking to me 'cos I spent so long on the painting.
How'd it do? - What? It came fourth.
- Oh.
I thought I could paint! - I thought it was just you and me.
How long's she gonna be here? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spoil your evening.
I just wanted to talk to someone! You're not spoiling anything.
- She bloody is! They didn't see it.
The judges, they, they just thought it was a nude.
They didn't see it! They didn't see the desperation! Is she gonna be here all night? She can be here as long as she wants.
She's family.
Her mum's drunk, her boyfriend's not talking to her, she's upset.
Great.
What desperation? I just thought you were a really good subject, you know, the lonely widow.
I wanted to show how a beautiful woman can still be desperate.
Do I look desperate? - What d'you think I'm doing here? Hm? I thought you liked me.
- Look.
Last night was bad enough with your sister barging in here but I can't put up with it twice.
She's my family.
- Stuff your family! Ho, ho, ho.
That is a big mistake.
Marley loves her family.
She'll be telling you to go now.
Let's just get her in a cab and then you and me can you know? I want you to go.
Told you! Er, I thought we were having sex? Apparently not.
But I, er had a shave and everything.
Ooh, that's just a bit weird.
Isn't it? You were up for it a minute ago, what's changed? A minute ago I didn't know you were the sort of man that said 'up for it' DOOR SLAMS Don't you dare smile.
I mean it! ADAM LAUGHS I can't keep a straight face! - Shut up! Aww.
Don't worry pickle.
Vicar's here.
You wanna drink? OK.
Don't tell your Mum.
- SHE LAUGHS Sometimes when things get tough, doesn't hurt to All right! Hang on! Sorry.
Bit upset.
Why don't you stay with me tonight? Yeah.
We'll have a girls' night in.
MARLEY: Now that you mention it.
Yeah, there may be a desperation, a sadness.
There's nothing wrong with being sad.
And I mean, you've got reason to be sad.
You were there when your lover died.
You were there when your husband died.
You didn't kill them, did you? - No, but I sometimes wish I had.
Would've enjoyed that.
- I know you're joking! She's not.
- You obviously miss them.
She doesn't.
I remember seeing you and that Adam together and you and that Michael together.
You always seemed happy.
I made her more happy.
- Didn't.
- Did.
Didn't.
- Did.
Oh! Can we just say that you both made her happy? No, 'cos he didn't.
Did.
- Didn't.
Did.
- Didn't.
Stop it! - Oh! Frightened yourself there, didn't you? - Yeah, I did! THEY LAUGH Sorry you came fourth.
You deserve to win.
I'm sorry about barging in on you and that Todd.
Oh, God.
Don't worry.
He was a tit! You deserve happiness again.
One day you'll meet someone nice.
I will.
I will meet someone nice.
Hi.
- Oh! Hello.
Oh, that didn't take long.
Patrick Danes.
- Hi Patrick.
Marley.
I'm surprised she didn't win.
Her painting's so powerful.
Oh.
You're such a beautiful woman.
- Oh! But then I look at your eyes, into your eyes, in the dark pools of your eyes, and there you are.
Lonely and lost.
Mia really caught that.
Oh! I think they're having a moment.
They're not having a moment.
Marley's not having a moment.
Art tells the truth.
Painting, sculpture, a face.
Suddenly you're in love with it.
You don't have a choice.
It's what art tells us about ourselves.
We can all fall in love at any time, with anything, or anyone.
Told you they were having a moment.
They're not having a moment.
I'm having a momemt.
BIRDS TWEE Aww, he's very nice, this Mr Danes, isn't he? He's lovely.
Have you kissed yet? - What? Do you know, he's actually been the perfect gentleman.
We just go for walks and chat.
It's rather wonderful.
Aww.
- So, you haven't kissed yet? Not yet.
He's probably been hurt before.
Yeah, taking it slow.
But you haven't kissed yet? - No, we haven't kissed yet.
HE SCOFFS - It's been a week.
Maybe I don't wanna kiss.
Oh, you do, don't you.
All this effort you put in, you'd think you'd get a kiss! Do you know, I think there's too much emphasis on kissing these days.
It's the relationship that matters, not the kissing.
Why haven't we kissed yet? What? - Oh, sorry.
No, that was a bit direct.
Came out wrong.
No, not really.
Why haven't we kissed yet? Oh, that, yeah, um I don't mean hot, passionate, uncontrollable kissing that leads up to the bedroom where you devour and ravish me.
Oh God! You're not? - No! Well, no, yes.
Actually yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Look, Patrick, I don't want you to think I'm easy.
You're not being very difficult.
- She just wants to feel loved.
Yes! - What? Well, it's fair enough.
You were right, Michael.
We should want Marley to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I've kept an eye on him.
He seems like a nice fellow.
I don't like it but I can live with it.
I want you to be happy, Marley.
I want you to feel loved, physically.
Yeah.
I just wanna feel loved.
But I really wanna feel it, you know? Physically.
This is it! Listen, Marley.
- Yes.
Here we go.
KNOCK AT DOOR What! We're not staying.
DOOR SLAMS I've got something for you, Aunty Marley! Something to cheer you up! Done you a painting.
- Oh, OK.
Has, er, has Mr Danes seen it? Who? Mr Danes, your art teacher.
Er, Mrs Black's her art teacher.
Oh, I thought Mr Danes was - - He was my art teacher.
He died last year.
What? Mr Danes died last year.
What! Died last year.
Which is tragic considering all the ravishing you were looking forward to! You bloody knew, didn't you! You knew he was dead! Well, I might have got a sneaky feeling when I watched him walk through a classroom wall.
Shut up! - What? Nothing! Oh! Yeah.
I was meaning to mention it Alright? When? When were you gonna mention it? When were you gonna tell me you didn't actually have a pulse? Since the accident I've had no one to talk to.
I just wander about the school.
Then I saw you'd seen me and I thought we could have a relationship.
Well, what kind of relationship? You can't even touch me! I need touching! Don't you dare smile.
I mean it.
No smiling.
- I can't keep my face straight.
Smile be coming out.
- No smiling.
But it's - Adam! And your lover, Michael.
Smiling at you forever.
You won't be lonely anymore.
They'll always be here, smiling at you.
They'll never leave you.
Happy?