Mighty Med (2013) s02e04 Episode Script

I couldn't sleep at all last night after finding out Skylar's evil now.
Mostly because you kept calling me every five minutes and saying, "I can't believe Skylar's evil now.
" Hello? I can't believe Skylar's evil now.
Alan? What are you doing here? Well, since I'm half-Normo, I figured I'd go to school to embrace my Normo roots.
I'll bet I'll be the most popular kid here, if I can keep my temper somewhat in check.
You'll never be able to keep your temper in check.
I said somewhat in check! I also spent the weekend watching high school movies for research so I've got this whole thing figured out.
Oh.
Now, what time do students suddenly break into song and dance for no apparent reason? Alan, that doesn't happen in real high school.
And you guys wonder why you're not popular.
Hey, wait up for me.
So what are we gonna do about Skylar? I don't know, but we cannot let her find out that we know she's evil, or we'll end up as statues like Blaylock.
No, I cannot become a statue.
You know, I get antsy if I stand around in one spot for too long.
Hey, guys.
Skylar, surprised to see you at school now they have your powers back and can fight for life, liberty and justice but mostly life.
Oh, I just have a few things here that I need to tie up.
Like hostages? Actually, there's something that I need to do.
This is really hard for me Then don't do it.
That's always the best policy.
In fact, if I had a sneaker company, "Just don't do it.
" But if I don't do it now, then I never will.
Oliver, would you like to go to the school dance with me tonight? Of course, I would love to go to the dance with you.
This dance is going to be so much fun.
I'm going to go pick up my dress.
When you see it, you are going to die.
What are you doing? You can't go to the dance with Skylar.
You might as well just go with Megahertz.
It's not the same thing at all.
First, Megahertz wouldn't look nearly as good in a party dress.
And second, he didn't invite me.
My point is, you're letting your feelings for Skylar cloud your judgment.
Actual Actually, I'm starting to think that Skylar isn't a villain after all.
I mean, if she's evil, then why didn't she just explode me on the spot instead of inviting me to the dance? Did somebody say dance? Skylar probably didn't want to raise suspicion.
Besides, Skylar asking you to the dance is the biggest proof yet that she's a villain.
A pretty girl just asked you to be her date.
You.
Does that make sense? I'll have you know that I've been called "unconventionally handsome.
" By your mom.
Who said it is not important.
Look, I know Skylar better than anyone, and I'm telling you, she's not evil.
I can sense it.
You know what, fine.
Okay.
I'll just have to prove you wrong.
I'm gonna go down to Mighty Max, spy on the Annihilator, and get proof that Skylar is evil.
And how do you plan on getting into Mighty Max? They tightened security like crazy.
And you can't tell anyone why you're going, because we don't know who we can trust.
Don't worry.
I've already figured out a way in.
Listen up everyone! I'm the villain uh No-Name and I'm here to destroy you all and there's no way I can be stopped! Stop.
Okay, I give up.
Why are you so shocked? I'm not shocked.
You are now.
I love my new job.
Okay, what's the best way for me to fit in here? Well, you can try going in sideways like this.
That's not what I meant! Thank you for your valuable advice.
Check it out.
I just set up the greatest prank on Gus.
I can totally get back at him for what he's been doing to me all these years: existing.
See? He's doing it again.
Anyway, I completely filled his locker with popcorn.
Watch.
Hmm, I don't remember bringing dozens of unpopped microwave popcorn bags to school today.
Yesterday, yes, but today, no.
Wait for it It missed Gus? Ohh! Do you know how hard it is to turn the inside of a locker into a nuclear-powered microwave? Alan, are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just covered in fresh hot popcorn emphasis on "hot.
" Here, I can help.
There.
Much better.
Hey, since I'm super evil, you should probably lock me up with someone who's just as evil as I am.
Like the Annihilator.
That would really teach me a lesson.
Well, if that would make you happy then forget it! Get in there.
Well, well, well Seems like we got ourselves a new roommate.
Wait, you look familiar.
Yeah, do we know you from somewhere? Let's play Villain Geography.
Where did you go to camp? Uh you don't know me.
I'm the villain, No-Name.
Not a teenage boy you'd see just about every day at a comic book store.
So what are you in for? Whatever would scare you the most, that's what I did! You tore one of those "do not remove" tags off a mattress?! Ripped it right off! You monster! Please don't hurt us! Right, I won't hurt you if you tell me everything you've heard in here about the Annihilator.
Okay, we overheard him in the cafeteria.
Of course, he sits at the cool villains' table.
Anyway, he's working with someone in Mighty Med and you're never gonna guess who.
Skylar Storm.
I was talking to him.
This is why we don't sit at the cool table.
Oh, hey, Skylar.
I was thinking we should arrive at the dance looking cool, so I asked my mom drive us in the nice minivan.
I'm way ahead of you.
I ordered us a stretch limo.
Really? Awesome! My mom will be disappointed, but, awesome! What do you think? Fancy, huh? That's a hearse for a funeral for dead people.
I don't think so.
See? In the back, there's a disco ball.
That's a bone saw.
Huh.
Anyway, I thought we'd go out to dinner first.
What would you pick to eat if you could only have one last meal, because you knew that it was your final night on Earth? Ah! Would you, uh excuse me for a minute? Hello.
Oliver, okay, I only get one phone call and it can only last for three minutes.
I was wrong about Skylar.
She isn't gonna kill us.
Thank goodness.
I was starting to think you were right.
Nope.
Turns out she's only gonna kill you.
Tonight.
At the dance.
Hey, I have two minutes left on my phone privileges.
So whatcha doin'? I don't understand.
Why is Skylar gonna destroy me and not you? I pretend to listen to her feelings for hours.
Maybe the Annihilator thinks that if we both end up dead, it will look too suspicious, so I guess he's going after you.
Hey, buddy, don't feel left out.
Yeah, you're gonna be blown to bits when the Annihilator completely wipes out the entire city on Sunday.
Sunday? Why not Monday? Yeah, no one likes Mondays.
There's got to be something we could do.
Well, my sources tell me there is one way to stop Skylar and that's with true love's kiss.
And since you truly love her, that means a kiss from you.
What? Are you saying that if I kiss Skylar, it will break the Annihilator's spell and make her not evil? No.
That's crazy.
I'm saying that if you kiss her, she'll die.
No, no, no.
There's got to be some other way.
Nope.
Listen you have to do it, or she'll destroy the city and take out millions of people.
You're the only one in the position to stop her.
I guess I have no choice.
If it makes you feel any better, if you ever kissed Skylar, she'd probably die of embarrassment anyway.
Uh, yeah, you know, hearing you repeat that true love's kiss thing out loud, I think we're misremembering something.
Yeah, the Annihilator didn't say that.
That was the plot of Sleeping Beauty.
Well, no biggie.
What?! Yes biggie! Fine.
The Annihilator said that he gave Skylar the ability to drain the life force out of people with her mouth.
So if she kisses your friend, your friend will die.
How did we confuse that with Sleeping Beauty? Wake with a kiss, die with a kiss.
They're kind of similar.
They're very similar.
Philip, I need to make another phone call.
Oh, I've heard that one before.
It's true.
We also needed to make another phone call.
No, you don't understand.
I'm not actually a villain.
It's me, Kaz.
Oh, I've heard that one before.
It's true.
We also said that we were Kaz.
Alan! Alan! Why didn't you return my calls? When did you call me? Just a second ago.
I called out, "Alan! Alan!" Listen, I found out it was Jordan All that popcorn was meant for me.
Unlike me, she is not very nice.
No, but to Jordan's credit, she does return my calls.
Watch.
Jordan! Jordan! Go away! See? Anyway, I've set up a great prank so we can get her back.
I don't want to pull pranks.
I'm trying to become popular by doing typical high school things, like dating a vampire or befriending a wizard.
Well, you can't back out now.
You're already in too deep.
What's that? This? This controls that.
A huge version of an arcade claw machine that grabs stuffed animals.
Where in the world did you get it? My uncle installed it.
He's an inventor of extremely large things that are usually much smaller.
He also gave me this bandage.
So here's the prank.
Jordan loves that hat, and we're going to use this to steal it.
Wouldn't it be easier to just walk over and take her hat? That seems like a lot of work.
I'm having some trouble working these controls.
Uhh! Huh.
Well, that's not right.
Help me! Gus, put me down! Aaah! Alan, are you okay? Do you need a bandage? I know she's evil, but I don't want her to die.
I know I'm evil, but I don't want him to die.
I love him.
Uh, like a friend.
I don't want there to be any confusion, in case anyone here can read my mind.
I'm totally not evil.
Hey, uh, listen.
Things are gonna be different now that you have your powers back, and I just want you to know that whatever happens I'll never forget you.
I won't forget you either.
Uh, would you excuse me? I think I need to go sit down.
.
On a toilet.
Is it done? Did you finish off Oliver? What, no "hello?" No "how was the dance?" Listen, I've been thinking.
Oliver's not a threat to us, so I don't need to get rid of him.
I gave you an order! But Oliver doesn't know anything.
He's not dangerous.
Except when he dances.
Arms everywhere! Those boys keep interfering with my plans.
And Oliver's making you weak and sentimental.
So finish him, or I'll finish you and then him.
Fine.
Have fun.
Make evil choices.
Philip, please, I need to use that phone again! You can't, Not Kaz, because it's broken.
No, it's not.
I just used it.
It is now.
I love my new job.
Philip, you have to believe me, I'm Kaz.
And I know that somewhere inside that giant head of yours is a shred of common sense.
So please, let me out.
I have to get to Oliver.
His life is at stake.
You said all I needed to hear that my head was giant.
Only the real Kaz would know how much that means to me.
Thank you.
We should probably go, too.
Yes, because, we are also the real Kaz.
Aaah! Aaah! All right, guess who's not getting a Christmas card from us? Philip? Will you stop it? I was talking to him! I know she looks beautiful, smells beautiful, but she's evil.
I have to do this, to save the city and the world.
I know he's not beautiful, and doesn't smell beautiful, but I'm evil.
I have to do this, to destroy the city and the world.
Hey, Alan, I'm so sorry about the popcorn this morning.
That prank was meant for Gus.
I'm not angry.
No need to apologize.
It's all just high school hijinks.
In fact, I feel a song coming on.
That's really good.
I must have snagged a tiny bit of thread on your sweater with my mood ring, which is always dark, because my mood ring gets me.
What?!!! I can't take it any more! Aaaah! Part of me wants to kiss you, and part of me doesn't.
I know how you feel.
Part of me also doesn't want to.
Mostly my lips.
I have to do this.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
There you are.
Is it done? It's done.
Oliver's dead.
Excellent.
Wait till they hear about this at the cool villains' table.
Kaz, you were right.
I did let my feelings for Skylar cloud my judgment.
So I was this close to dying? Yup.
Pretty much your inability to get any woman to ever kiss you actually saved your life.
You should be grateful you're not irresistible.
Ohh.
I would be so dead.
Look, we have to figure out how to stop Skylar and the Annihilator from destroying the city.
Or we could just move to New York.
I do love bagels.
Alan, that thing with the pig did you do what I think you did? You stole our rival school mascot and put it in a sweater vest? That's hilarious! He usually wears a sports jacket.
Greatest prank in history! All hail Alan, King of Pranks.
Alan, Alan, Alan.
Alan, Alan, Alan I'm popular! And I belong! Dude, you're wrecking it.