Parenthood s02e04 Episode Script

My daughter, Haddie Braverman, is running for Junior Class President.
That's why I didn't want to tell you about the campaign.
I am trying to give you some campaign strategies that Yeah, and I'm sick I don't care about your campaign strategies! I want to do it on my own! Mike, this is Sarah.
She's our new intern.
Hi.
Sarah, this is Mike.
Is that your boyfriend? No, he's just a guy from work.
I've been, uh, chosen to join the tour company.
The European tour? Yeah.
What about Jabbar? He should stay out here and he can live with my mom.
It'll be fine.
Okay, honey, why do we wind up with so much crap? It's endless.
That's not crap.
We just have to start throwing more stuff out.
For every one thing that comes into the house, something else has to go out.
No.
Sounds good.
I'm looking at this calendar and nothing is making sense.
I can't, like, figure this out.
I've overbooked things.
Is there any way that you can take Max on Tuesday to Dr.
Pelikan at 4:00? Honey, you know how hard it is for me to take off of work early.
I can't do that.
I know, but I have to meet with the OT, okay? They put Max with somebody completely incompetent and I don't want him going with that person.
It's just All right, fine.
Yeah.
I can take him.
Okay, good.
But if I have to leave work early on Tuesday, then you're going to have to cover Haddie's school night on Wednesday so I can work late.
Okay, but what about your son? Have your daughter watch him.
She's got the election.
She has to focus.
Okay, All right.
Let me crack this thing.
It makes no sense.
All right, let me look.
See, how can we be in two places at once? Hey, Mom and Dad's washer broke.
Do you guys mind if I do a load? No, no, no.
Make yourself at home.
- Is that your schedule? - Yeah.
Put basketball in there.
You haven't played in like three months.
Okay, I'll pencil it in.
It's just that simple.
I'm going for a walk right now with Suze Lessing.
Why? Why? To exercise.
All right.
I love you.
I just thought we were going to throw more of this stuff away.
I need new insoles, too.
My shoes are not working correctly.
I love you.
Bye, Crosby.
Hey! Hey! Huh? Yeah? You want to check this out? What? It's The Henry Clay People.
I just mixed this.
It's coming out next week.
Yeah.
We're having a listening party at the studio tomorrow.
You should come.
Yeah.
I work on Mon What? I work on Monday.
What are you doing? It's at 4:00 p.
m.
There's an open bar.
What are you doing? Why don't you come? What do you mean, what am I doing? I can't make it.
What are you doing? I'm doing laundry.
What are you doing here? Where's Jabbar? Oh, he's with Renee at the movies.
And you're okay with that? Yeah.
He gets to watch a cartoon movie.
And I get to watch the Niners.
It's kind of a win-win, don't you think? Yeah.
Yeah, that's great.
You know what, whatever.
He's your kid.
You know, there was a lot less judgment when I did my laundry at Mom and Dad's.
Hey, hey, don't overload that.
I'm serious.
What do you mean, don't over You got the diesel truck of washing machines.
You got to test this thing.
How do you think Mom and Dad's washer broke in the first place? 'Cause they didn't push it.
You got to lean into these things.
Just don't overload it.
They want to make you proud.
Don't overload the washer, okay? Well, we'll see.
If that thing breaks, you're paying for it, okay.
I'm gonna overload it.
I'm gonna put shoes in it, too, and boots, work boots.
All right, you.
Jules, check this out.
Hi.
I just need some assistance.
Okay.
If you could lock me in here.
All right? Okay.
Yeah.
Just Let's go with that one.
That looks You're sure? You can't go any tighter? No.
Ow! Sorry.
It's no big deal to me.
Awesome.
Right, there's no way I'm getting out of this.
Right? Uh, uh, no.
I'm sealed in.
Yeah.
Okay.
Blast.
Okay, you know what? This is All right.
It Okay, just What is all this about? You know what, it's hobby day at Sydney's school.
I just got to Oh, and magic is your hobby? It is now, yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
Why? Because I don't have a hobby, Jules.
So, you're pretending to have a hobby? Do you want to do hobby day? 'Cause I just spent three hours looking online, how to make this crap work.
No.
No.
No.
"To conclude, I think I am the best candidate for Junior Class President "because I will listen to you and I have lots of good ideas "for community service like a magazine drive and collecting canned goods.
"I am responsible and committed and I will be approachable.
"My door is always open and I will fight for you.
"So remember, vote Haddie" Stop texting.
Listen to me.
Sorry.
I'm listening.
"So, remember, vote Haddie Braverman for Junior Class President.
"Thank you very much.
" Are you gonna do that? No.
Okay.
But what do you think? I think it's You don't.
You're not into it.
Well, I mean I'm taking a nap, but I don't think that necessarily means that it's bad.
I'm sorry.
Right.
It's not bad.
It's not good.
It just sounds like my grandmother wrote it.
Okay, so what part It's just not What's specifically wrong with it? I need to have a donut.
I can't deal with this.
First of all, pizza parties? What? We had pizza parties.
How old are we? No, you got to grab 'em and hook 'em.
You know what I mean? You got to do something to make them remember you.
Like, you know, wear a funny hat.
Wear a funny hat? You know, have that be your thing.
Remember that guy, Scott Sussman? Yeah.
"He puts the Stud in Student Council.
" Yeah.
Right.
I don't think that's funny, because it's not student council.
It's amazing, because the word "stud" is in the word "student.
" No, because it's not "Stud-ent Council".
It doesn't make sense.
You pronounce it wrong and then the whole thing goes out the window.
It's just lazy.
That's what it is.
Okay.
I can tell you're defensive.
The point is, the guy got elected.
Okay, I see what you're saying.
Okay.
So Well, is this the anaphase? - It looks like - Or is it longer? Well, okay, I think that goes there.
All right.
So, let's just keep it.
Let's just put it back.
Yeah, all right.
I'll do it.
Okay.
And Do these need to be switched? You have like something here.
Oh.
Okay, so what? You're spying again.
I'm not spying.
Yeah, you are.
No, I'm just looking.
Mom, the girl likes him, you know.
Yeah, like that.
Okay.
They're doing a science project together.
Because she asked to be his lab partner.
She likes him and he does not know what to do.
I'm going in.
Hey, how's it going? Uh, good.
We think we've figured out mitosis, so Well, I hope there's a cure for that.
Do you need anything? Did you want some lemonade or cookies or Yeah, if this were like 1950.
Thanks.
Well, perhaps I'll bring you a martini and some pot.
I'm just kidding.
You should not do drugs or drink.
You know, stay in school.
Don't cut your own bangs.
These are just a few of my mottos.
Okay.
Fine.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
She's like a pain in the ass.
I don't It's okay.
She's actually kind of funny.
Funny? Yeah.
I woke up one morning and I realized Phil and I were boring.
Phil and I were never boring.
We did it all, you know.
Kayaking, dance classes, tantric sex.
Tantric sex? You would Did you? Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Kristina, we were wild.
That's crazy.
Wild.
And then with Noel, there was just so much worrying and so much work.
Yeah.
And well, you guys know how it is.
With the school stuff and the doctor visits and constantly juggling a million different things.
Mmm-hmm.
And always arguing about it.
And you think to yourself.
You know, you realize you stop making time for each other.
Stop making time for yourselves and you think you're not going to be one of those 80%.
It's not going to be you, you know.
Oh, you never heard that statistic? No.
Oh, 80% of marriages with a child with autism end in divorce.
Are you kidding? No, no.
Our marriage counselor told us.
It's like a stone cold fact.
Oh God, I'm scaring you.
No, I just never heard that before.
Oh, I'm sorry, Kristina.
I'm an idiot.
You're not.
You and Adam are totally different.
You're like this great couple.
We should go out.
What do you mean, we should go out? Well, I mean, our date night has completely evaporated.
You know, I don't like that term date night.
That's okay.
You can call it whatever you want.
I want it back.
It's just What do you think about this Thursday night? When you say date night, I feel like there's pressure.
It's like we're screwed before we even get out of the gate.
Okay, that's fine.
But let's do it.
Thursday night.
Honey, this is a crazy week.
Haddie can babysit.
Why is it crazy? Every week is crazy.
Because of everything I got going on at work.
I can't.
I can't do it this week.
Adam, every week is crazy.
But if we don't set aside time for each other, nobody else is going to do it.
Let's do it.
I can get Haddie to babysit.
Thursday.
Okay.
Great.
Awesome.
We can go to Pedro's.
Pedro's? Pedro's is fun.
I thought we like Pedro's.
Pedro's is sort of like a taco and margarita place.
Yeah, that's fun.
I want a real date.
Like a date-date, Adam.
You know, where we get dressed up and connect.
Connect? See, now, I like that word.
I wasn't talking about just sex, I meant like a real date.
Adam.
I'm serious.
We're on.
Thursday night.
Yeah, Thursday night.
Reclaim it.
Date night.
Date night.
I am so excited.
Thanks, I'm running to the office.
I'll see you soon.
We'll talk soon.
All right.
Check this out.
If you like that, you'll love this.
And whatever you do, don't try this at home.
Always go to your grandmother's house.
Oh! Wow! Hey.
Hi.
I'm fine, but you're gonna need a new hobby.
Hey.
Hey.
How was your day? It was fine.
Yeah? How was your day? It was good, really good.
Oh, hey, can you babysit on Thursday? Dad and I are going to go out.
Why are you going out? Just 'cause.
He's taking me out on a date.
So, can you? Uh, yeah.
I guess so.
Great.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about telling you I didn't want you to be on my campaign.
Okay? I'm sorry, too.
I'm sorry that I was pushy and obnoxious and I It's okay.
Sorry.
So, now my speech is not good and Amber hates it.
Well, that's rude.
And I don't know what to do.
And I need your help.
Yeah, I will help you.
Okay.
Great.
We were working part-time All the time Oh, we were banking on the kindness of strangers And loved ones and those that fall in between To give us everything we need Bottoms up, one, two Who's out? You're out.
I'm the new guitar player.
Vote.
He's out of the band, right? He's gone.
Oh, crap.
It's my mother-in-law.
Whoa! You're married? Okay, go, you take it.
Keep the party going.
I'll be right back.
I have a favor.
I'm on my way to the doctor's and he's running late, so, can you pick up Jabbar? Right now, Jabbar? He's at story hour at the Lincoln Child Development Center right there on Alameda.
Can you help me out? Yeah, yeah.
I can help you out.
Are you okay? What's all that music? I'm at work.
It's work music.
But, I totally got you covered, so He's my kid and I got it.
Are you sure? No, no, no, I'll be there.
You go to the doctor's appointment because it's very important.
And then, I got him.
Okay? Bye-bye.
Okay.
Okay.
Braverman residence.
Hey, Kristina, is Adam there? It's Gaby.
Oh, hi, Gaby.
It's Crosby.
Yeah, I know.
Adam's still at work.
And Kristina's upstairs.
And Haddie actually just went out to CVS to pick up a poster board and I was actually on my way out to party.
That was a lot of information.
Do you want to talk to Kristina? No, no, no, no, no! Don't put her on, please.
Could, um Hmm.
Are you drunk? You ever go to the drive-in in this car? This is stupid.
I'm fine.
Where are my Altoids, by the way? Why don't I just go in there and get him myself? Mmm-mmm.
You barely know Jabbar.
Don't you know about stranger danger? He won't even come to you.
Now, what is he doing here? Who is he? Jasmine's brother.
Will you hold that? Oh, no, no, no.
Crosby, wait! Crosby, I don't think this is Yo! Hey, Sudoku.
What Wait.
Whoa, whoa.
What are you doing, man? I'm going to get Jabbar.
No, no, I'm here.
Your mom called me.
Yeah, and then she called me and she said you sounded drunk.
That's ridiculous, dude.
I'm not drunk.
Dude, I can smell the booze from here, all right? You can smell the booze from there? Yeah.
Who's that girl right there? That's Gaby.
She's a friend of mine.
We're going to pick him up.
Yeah, right.
So, hey, hey, hey! You can just go about your business.
Hey, don't touch me, man.
Do not touch me! We're here to pick up Jabbar, so you can just Hey, wait.
I'm talking.
I'm talking to you, man.
Don't you ever put your hands on me again, all right? Okay.
You want to do this? Hey, okay.
Okay.
I'm going to get him out of here.
Crosby, let's go.
Sober up, dude.
Okay, go inside.
You're just the uncle, dude.
Crosby, let it go.
I'm the dad.
Crosby, let it go.
Okay.
You don't want Jabbar to see you like this.
Let's go.
But, did you see that Crosby, let's go.
He just pushed me out of nowhere? I saw.
Hey.
Hey, you.
What are you looking for? Well, now I'm looking for the Women's Turbo Shock One Thousand Flyer, and it has a gel insole and promotes world peace.
Three rows down over that way.
I know, but the shoes were over there and you were over here, so I just wanted to say thanks for the other night.
Yeah, I had a great time.
You did? Yeah.
That's really cool.
So, thanks.
Cool.
Do you want to go out some time? With me? Yes.
Sorry, that was totally inappropriate and Completely awesome.
Oh, okay.
Good.
Okay.
I'm gonna leave now, before I get run over.
What if I bring in some home videos, you know? That would be a pretty good presentation.
Are you talking about hobby day still, baby? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I can't help it.
I'm like the opposite of the world's most interesting man.
I have no life.
No, you have me and you have Syd.
That's plenty.
Mmm.
For hobby day? Okay, All right.
Okay, let's think about this.
Okay.
Adam used to collect stamps.
Sarah used to collect those little ceramic horses.
I'm not doing ceramic horses.
I know.
Though, how about this? The toy rockets that Dad and Crosby used to set off? Those are cool.
Yeah? Yeah.
Toy rockets, that's not bad.
That's a good idea.
Yeah.
What about baby-making? Does that count as a hobby? We could do some of that.
Yeah, you know, I don't know if technically it counts as a hobby.
But it would be one hell of a presentation.
Can you imagine Mrs.
Brewster's face? Scandal in kindergarten, news at 6:00.
Daddy, I can't find my Phineas and Ferb.
She's like a silent ninja.
Hello? Renee? What do you want, Crosby? I'm looking for Jabbar.
Mom took him to the park already.
Do you normally walk into people's houses uninvited? Uh, yeah, when my son lives in them.
Do you normally do your laundry at Mommy's? My machine is broken.
What about it? That's pretty lame.
Where do you do your laundry? That's none of your You know what, dude? Not that I have to explain myself to you, but the girl last night? That's my autistic nephew's behavioral aide.
There's nothing going on between us.
When your mom called, I was in the middle of celebrating finishing a big album.
And I was in no position to drive.
So, I called my brother's house, she picked up, offered to drive me, I said fine.
That's all that happened.
Okay.
Whatever.
No, no.
Not whatever.
I was off the clock.
It was your mom's day with Jabbar yesterday and if I knew she was going to need me, I wouldn't have been drinking.
I wouldn't even have been at the party.
Wait, wait.
You're worried that I'm gonna go tell Jasmine.
You can do whatever you want to do.
I mean, that would be totally uncool, so I wouldn't put it past you, but go crazy.
Well, okay, you know what I think, Crosby? If you really wanted to be a father, you'd know you're never off the clock.
Yes, Thursday night we're on.
That sounds really good.
Okay.
All right, I'll talk to you then.
Bye.
Hi, how are you? Hey, I was just looking for Amber.
Is she here? Hey, guys.
Hey.
Oh, Haddie, have you met Holly? No, hi.
We're working on a project thing.
I'm telling all my Junior friends to vote for you.
Aw.
Thanks.
That's cool.
See you later.
Bye.
Bye.
See you on it.
She seems nice.
That's Holly.
That's weird.
Day two.
Huh, can you feel the heat? Uh, yeah, it was It's palpable.
I'm just looking for Amber for Um, I redid my speech and I wanted her to read it.
Oh, well, I'm here.
I could look at it.
Yeah.
Yeah, please.
Yes.
Yeah? Yeah.
Thanks.
Oh, good.
Yeah, maybe you'll be able to give me a fresh perspective.
Oh, I don't know.
It just might be fun.
Let's see.
Another draft.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm sorry I'm so late.
It's been a crazy day.
It's okay.
Did you get anything to eat? Yeah, I had some crap at work.
Just Gordon's was calling me all day long from Menlo Park.
He's at this investor conference.
Asking me how I can cut costs.
I'm going over the cost reports and I'm trying to figure out what to do and it's not pretty.
What can I do to help? Hey, listen, about Thursday Uh-huh? I was just wondering if you'd be willing to move it by one week.
To next Thursday? It would make things a lot easier for me.
Sure.
I know you want to go out.
It's fine.
And I do, too.
No, absolutely.
This is exactly what she said would happen.
Who? This is how we become one of the 80%.
What's going on with you? What are you talking about? No, Suze Lessing.
What's 80%? Suze Lessing? Suze Lessing told me today that 80% of couples that have children with autism end up getting divorced because they don't spend enough time together.
This is all about Suze Lessing? It's not about Suze Lessing, okay? Her therapist told her this statistic.
It's a true thing.
80% Well, hello, maybe there's a reason those two kooks are in therapy to begin with.
They're not kooks, honey.
They're just not connecting, okay? Honey, we are not Phil and Suze Lessing.
Do you know how scared I'm just asking for one night.
That's all I was asking for, was just for one night.
Okay.
I see that this is important to you and we're gonna go out this Thursday, okay? Hey, we got to go.
I can't find my phone.
Oh, no.
Yes.
Okay.
What do you have today? Do you have your science project? Yeah.
Will you be working on it with your lab partner? Wow, yes.
Again.
Wow.
Mom, she is my lab partner, so it makes sense.
Yeah.
You know, I think she likes you.
No, I doubt that.
Oh, okay.
Well, I think you like her, too.
Is it embarrassing? I'm not embarrassed.
It's just I don't know.
I mean, I got an A in science last year, and she got a D.
So, she's obviously just trying to get a good grade.
I don't think so.
You know, girls like it when a guy makes the first move.
This is a really weird conversation.
I'm serious, honey.
The way she talks to you and, you know, touches you unnecessarily, laughs at all your jokes, not that they're not funny.
Whoo, science! You know so much about science! She likes you.
Don't be afraid to act on it.
In a, you know, reasonable way.
This is too weird.
This is the weirdest conversation we've ever had.
Honey, look at you.
You're amazing.
Who could not love you? Huh? I ask you, who? Possibly Amber.
Oh.
Maybe.
Okay, honey, hit me.
Okay, so it's either Harbor Cafe at 7:30 or Bastide's at 8:00.
Harbor Cafe sounds good.
Harbor Cafe, really? Well, Bastide got four and a half stars.
Honey, just You pick.
If you're happy, I'm happy, okay? Look, I got to go over these cost reports, okay? I love you.
Bye.
Bastide.
What's up, Butterbean? You already know about that? Yeah.
Gaby talked to Kristina.
How? Gaby? Yeah.
Gaby.
I didn't realize she was like that.
Gaby, Kristina, Adam.
I can't trust anyone.
Look at this.
What? Two missed calls from Jasmine.
Yeah, so? Yeah, so I think Sekou ratted me out already.
And for the record, I don't know what Gaby reported back to Kristina, but I would have mopped the floor with him.
So, you would have, huh? Yeah.
Well, did you call her back yet? No, I didn't call her back.
What am I going to say to her? You're going to tell her the truth.
You're going to tell her that you got drunk in the middle of the afternoon.
And that you copped a ride from our ultra-hot behavioral aide so you could pick up your son and then you got beat up by her little brother.
I didn't get beat up.
I did not get beat up.
She'll understand.
Okay? I'll tell you what, you want my advice? Yeah, I want your advice.
Step one, apologize to Renee.
For what? I didn't do anything.
It's just You know what, you're a man.
That's what men do.
We apologize.
And then I say three I'm sorrys when I get out of bed in the morning, okay? And quit half-assing your dad gig.
Wait a minute.
I am not "half-assing my dad gig.
" Why do you say that? Listen, Crosby.
You're pissed off about the whole custody situation with Jabbar.
I get that, okay? But quit trying to sell it to yourself like it's a good thing and go do something about it.
These engines are still good.
I think all you're going to need are some igniters.
What is this? That is the Estes Big Daddy.
Oh, yeah? I can't believe we never shot that off.
It's humongous.
Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? Yeah.
It's got the E9-4 Engine, single stage, eight hundred and ninety-five feet of altitude.
Wow.
It's got a dual parachute recovery module.
Mmm-hmm.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
I can't shoot that off.
How come? Oh, I don't know, maybe a school hazard.
I don't want to burn the school down, so Oh, I'm sorry.
You want to make a good impression, don't you? Mmm, yeah.
So, what is the problem? That would do it, blowing up the school.
The problem is, I don't know anything about this stuff.
I do.
I'll show you.
No, no.
It's not That's not the point, Zeek.
It's I don't have a hobby, because I don't have I don't have a life.
Now, what the hell are you talking about? My whole life is Sydney, Zeek.
I mean, I wake her up, I get her ready for school.
I take her.
And then I do laundry and then I pick her up from school.
Its dinner, bath, bedtime, and then wake up the next morning, I do it all over again.
It's just That's my job.
You know, and now apparently my job is to be the cool dad with the cool hobby to impress all her friends.
So, I mean, what am I going to do, I'm going to show them how to use fabric softener properly? Joel, I mean really, these kids are kindergartners, all right? You could light your own fart and they'd think you were Einstein.
I mean, come on.
I know.
It's not about the kids.
It's just You know, you are making a way too big a deal out of this whole thing.
All you got to do is find something you like to do and then just have fun doing it.
It's not life or death, for Pete's sake.
You're not involved in, like, marriage counseling like I am with Camille.
All my kids are raised.
They got their own problems, but I got real problems going on out there, okay? Now, I am going to go to the hobby shop.
Take it easy.
God almighty.
I'm sorry.
And I promise I'm going to figure out a way to explain all this to Jabbar and make sure he knows it's not okay to fight.
Don't worry about it.
He doesn't know.
Didn't Sekou tell him that I'm sure he wanted to, but he knows that I would have been all over his behind.
Wow, I I thought he would have.
Thank you, Renee.
You're welcome.
Come.
Help me.
No stems, quarter-inch pieces.
Okay? Okay.
No stems.
Quarter-inch pieces.
Okay.
The situation's tough, you know, with Jasmine out of town.
I think we're all just trying to do the right thing, and it's Well, you see, that's not how I see it.
What do you mean? Well, I love my daughter, would do anything for her.
But what I see happening with my grandson is not good.
Well, Jasmine's a great mom.
Don't get me wrong, I know she's doing the best she can.
But the truth is, she's been dragging that poor boy all over creation.
Summer's in New York, then she moves him back here and she goes to Europe.
It's not good.
Yeah, well, it's her dream.
I know that, and it's not good for the child.
So, you need to figure it out.
I can't make her do anything.
No, when I say you, I don't mean you.
I mean the both of you together.
Children need stability.
And I know it's modern and fashionable to live your separate lives and split time with your kids, but I think that is a bunch of bull twinkie.
That boy needs his momma and his daddy.
So either you-know-what or get off the pot.
You'd poop? Poop or get off the pot? Is that what you're You know what I mean.
I know what you mean.
Which one is the metaphase and which one is the anaphase? This is meta.
They're actually on the back.
Oh, I should have read it.
Yep.
Where'd the glue stick go? We could just Oh, I don't know.
Here, could you hold that? Yes.
Oh, here it is.
I got it.
Oh, man.
Are you okay? Me? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Totally, fine.
Uh, metaphase.
All right, just Uh, what are you doing? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Holly, I'm I'm so, so, so I'm so sorry.
I can't even look at Oh, my God.
I thought you were like giving me this sign.
No.
I got to go.
Wait, Drew.
I Holly, I can't go.
This is my house.
Can you just go? Drew, I'm so sorry.
Look, Holly, you don't You know I like you.
I do.
Seriously, you don't have to say that.
It's just You're smart.
Just please, go.
I thought we were just doing Please go.
Can you please go? Okay.
Okay, everybody, now get ready, this last one is really special.
It's an eagle silver dollar minted in 1796.
That's over 200 years ago.
Can we touch it? Sorry.
Sorry.
Your fingers might mess it up.
It's worth over $30,000.
Wow! All right, thank you very much, Mr.
Fitts.
Wasn't that great, everybody? Yeah! The next presentation is by Sydney's father.
Could we say, "Good afternoon, Mr.
Graham.
" Good afternoon, Mr.
Graham.
Good afternoon, guys.
What's in the box? Let me ask you this, do you guys like wood? How about these pants? No, I like these clothes that I have.
If you try these on, I'll give you a sticker.
One pair.
One pair.
Just one.
He's working on it.
Hey, Uncle Crosby.
Hey.
It's frustrating, but thank you.
I'm just here to get my laundry.
Oh, and Mom, by one pair, I mean you only get one pair per sticker.
Yes, yes, I heard.
I understand that.
So, if you want me to try on another pair, you have to give me another sticker.
Hey, um I wanted to say sorry about what happened the other day.
That was not my finest parenting hour.
It's okay.
I feel like I should apologize.
I shouldn't have told Kristina.
I'm sorry.
She sort of got it out of me, you know.
She can sometimes.
She's like a cold-war interrogator.
Yeah.
Um Hey, can I ask you a question? What? Do you think I'm half-assing my gig as a dad if I let Jabbar live at his grandma's? I don't know.
What do you think? Mmm, is that like a weird therapy trick, where you're gonna answer a question with a question? Kind of, sort of.
And if you're good, you might get a sticker.
I don't know.
Look, I want what's best for Jabbar.
And he loves Renee, and, you know, she's really good at taking care of him, and it's what Jasmine wants.
But I don't know.
It doesn't feel right.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, I love him to death, so You know, maybe I should just step up and take on the whole enchilada.
Okay.
So, what's the problem? Well, the problem is, and I hope this doesn't shock you, but I'm a bit of a screw-up.
And to be totally honest, I kind of like my freedom.
But then I think, "Man, how selfish.
"What kind of dad doesn't want to be with his kid all the time?" And then I go, "Oh, maybe the kind "that will fall asleep while he's swimming "or forget to pick him up at soccer practice, "or you know, feeds him the wrong type of lactaid.
" Crosby.
Yeah? I know.
I'm all over the place.
No, I just I think you'd be a great full-time dad.
For real? Mmm-hmm.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Can you do it? Wait, who did this? Was that you? That is super cool.
What is it? More paper.
That's cool, guys.
Oh, hey, does this go on the front of that? Yeah.
You know what you can do? You guys need more? Okay.
Okay, brilliant.
Are you free next week? Oh, yeah.
They're kind of into it.
Oh, kind of.
Yeah.
I made a hamster.
His name is Uni.
That's a good name.
Your dad is awesome.
I know.
Honey, I need you to put down the game and eat.
You need to.
I can't.
Peas got in the macaroni.
Oh, babe, it's fine.
You need to eat your supper.
No, it's not.
Peas got in the macaroni.
I just told you it's not fine.
I understand.
Where is your father? He should be here.
He's probably working.
You're probably right.
He said he has to do cost reports.
Hey, Mom.
What Wait.
Hey! Do you like my dress? Oh, you know what, I wanted to talk to you about your speech.
I think you should add in that you were room rep in eighth grade.
I think it's a phenomenal idea.
Uh-huh.
Nice little Right, that just wouldn't really fit into my speech anymore.
Yes, it would.
Right, it would, except, Aunt Sarah and I replaced that part with a joke.
What'd you say? Nothing.
It's not a big deal.
Aunt Sarah? It's just, it was funnier that way and is more readable.
I don't know.
Honey, the speech was perfect.
I have to go.
Where are you going? It's a basketball game, and they're announcing the candidates and it's required.
Otherwise I didn't know.
You're not going because you're babysitting.
I have to go.
That's why I'm all dressed up.
No, I can stay by myself.
Why can't I stay by myself? There's someone honking in the driveway.
I know, it's Susanna.
Hey, why is our baby-sitter heading out the front door? Haddie? Because they're announcing her at half-time with the candidates.
I don't know.
I told her she had to do it.
And she's just not.
What are you doing? What do you mean? We're not going out, honey.
This is too hard.
We can't.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
We are going out.
Okay, who's going to babysit? Okay, first of all, you look beautiful.
I am going to call my mom and dad.
Well, thank you.
Your dad and your mom? Your dad takes like four hours to leave the house.
I will tell them to hurry.
We are going out.
Okay.
Well, it's not Bastide, but it's something.
I know.
But we're here.
Everybody looks like they're having a good time.
Look, it's kitschy.
It's fun.
It's good.
I just wanted everything to be perfect, that's all.
Honey, it is perfect, okay? We're alone, we're together.
You look beautiful.
Okay? Mmm-hmm.
Braverman.
Yeah.
Party for two? Yeah.
That's us.
That's cute.
Welcome to The Swanky Crab.
Yeah.
The stanky crab.
Yes, I can steal some plates.
Oh, my God.
What? Nothing.
Nothing? I Hey.
Adam.
What's up, Mike? Adam! Look at Kristina, it's Mike from work.
Hey, how's it going, Mike? What's up, boss man? Hello.
So it That's so crazy.
We were just about to order, right here at this table.
Should I set your places over here? Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Yeah, great.
Good morning.
My sweet angel, how are you? Good, Dad.
Morning, Mom.
Morning, Drew.
Morning, sweetie.
Ooh, look at that shirt.
You never wear that.
Is it something special for someone special? No, Mom, it's not.
Honey? Drew! Honey? Drew! Oh, my God, Mom.
What? Well, talk to me, okay? Don't just leave.
No.
I What's wrong? Everything, okay, Mom? Your advice.
Holly.
I tried to kiss her, okay? And she totally rejected me.
Now she hates me! Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Look, I don't care, Mom, if you're sorry, honestly because, like, I've told you, I don't want your advice.
I don't know how many times I've told you that and you just keep telling me things and I don't know what to do with it and Well, I'm your mother.
I was trying to help.
Look, I don't care if you're trying to help, okay? You know, you messed this up.
What I need is my dad.
And you screwed that up for me! I don't need your help, okay? Hey.
Dad's gonna launch the rocket.
I might need you to call the fire department.
Jimmy Koop asked me to the eighth grade dance.
He was really smart.
Skinny.
Like you.
I was so excited.
He said he'd meet me there.
And I stood out in front of the gym and I waited.
And I waited.
And I waited.
And he never showed up.
When Dad came to pick me up, I was crying, crying.
And he said, "Sweetheart, "boys are like buses.
"If you miss one, there's another one coming.
" Hey, Mom.
I know it wasn't your fault Dad left.
I shouldn't have said that.
That's okay, sweetheart.
I miss him sometimes, too.
Did your foot get bigger? No.
No.
I already know how to tie my shoes.
Oh, you want to tie it? Yep.
All right, let's see it.
Hello.
Oh, my God! Mommy's home.
What are you doing here? Hey! I missed you! Oh, my God.
Hey.
Hey.
Aren't you supposed to be in Holland or In Brussels.
In Brussels.
Yeah.
Is everything all right? Um Well, I Did you get in a fight with somebody? No! I left the company.
Really? Yeah.
How come? Well, you know, I just always thought that it was everything that I wanted.
And for two hours every night, during performances, it was amazing and it was wonderful.
But the rest of the time was living out of suitcases, and feeling sad and lonely and missing my family.
You missed your family? A lot.
Missing me? Yeah, you.
We missed you.
So I made my decision.
Here I am.
Wait a minute, you're here-here? You're not going back to New You're here for good? Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
What? Oh, yes.
So, what's up? Are you guys going somewhere? What's going on? Grandpa's having a big party! Oh, he is, is he? It's a Like a family thing for Haddie.
She won Student Council President.
Good for her.
Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get your shoes on.
Mommy, Dad taught me how to tie my shoes.
You taught him how to tie his shoes? Yeah, whatever.
We know how to tie our shoes now.
No big deal.
Come here.
Get up here.
We like you.
We're happy you're home.
I will make your ideas happen, starting with removing the ban on freak dancing, and getting better food in the snack shack.
Anyways, vote for me.
I'm Haddie Braverman.
I want to be your President.
And then I threw candy into the audience.
Haddie! Yeah, that's very good.
Did you write that? Yeah.
Like five minutes before.
I was just stressed out.
It's okay.
It's awesome.
I am very proud of you, not just because you won, but because of how you conducted yourself.
Yeah.
All right, mostly because you won.
Congratulations.
Cheers.
There you go.
Hear, hear.
I forgot to get the cake at Primo's.
You did? I didn't pick it up.
Well, we can't have a celebration without a cake.
Haddie.
Haddie, I forgot the cake.
We're going to go get your cake.
We gotto go to Primo's.
Mom forgot the cake.
I forgot the cake.
Honey, you missed the turn.
I know.
Whoa.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!