PEN15 (2019) s02e04 Episode Script
Three
1
Maya?
Maya?
Maya.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
How's Anna? Okay.
How is she dealing with her parents? Okay.
You normally talk more.
What's wrong? Everyone hates me at school.
I don't wanna talk about it.
You care always about what the others are thinking.
Who cares what the others think? Neh? Okay.
So we're just we're waiting.
The court has to decide who's gonna get the house.
Fingers crossed.
Let's hope that, uh, the judge does the right thing.
Is that too much information? Oh.
You have a lot of heart energy in there.
Anna? - You need to open up.
- Okay, sorry.
Hey.
How 'bout how 'bout we do, um a mother-daughter day? We get our nails done, and we go shopping.
Can I please be excused? Yeah.
Please put the incense out.
It's weird.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Wonder what those idiots are talking about.
Kinda miss 'em.
Yeah.
- Due Friday.
- Oh, shite.
Superlatives.
Oh, my God.
Not now.
Shit, Best Duo? Connie's tits.
Shut up.
She's right beside you.
- Shut up.
- That was, like, the worst joke.
- It's just a joke, chill.
- What's up, Brandt? What's up? What's up, bro? Dustin, Best Couple? Me and your mom.
Oh! - For real, though.
- 'Scuse me.
Brandt, what about you and BSB for Best Couple? Shit.
Okay, okay.
What about Miss Lackey when she gets her braces off? Yeah.
For sure.
Man, that's fucked up.
Biggest gossip.
- Oh, definitely Ian.
- Definitely.
Yes.
Yeah, Connie's mom, bro.
- Oh! - Shut up! - Shut up! - Yo, she got a MILF! - She definitely has a MILF.
- No, stop.
'Sup? Is that your new table? Nah, that's just Brandt was just saying that he's gonna vote for Connie M.
's tits for Best Duo and then Ian for Class Gossip.
Why would that go to Ian? I don't know.
They said he was gay, so So are you, like, resigning as editorial manager of Weasels? You guys still doing that? Damn.
What? You're kinda different.
What? Jafeer, come on.
Don't be so fucking sensitive.
Ugh, I hate this question.
Like, what is success, you know? So stupid.
Okay, well, obviously, you and me for Best Best Friends.
Obviously.
Hey, quick question.
I'm struggling here.
- Oh, sure.
- Would you wanna be put down as "psycho bitch" or "puss-nasty"? Big smelly bush say what? What? Oh, "big smelly bush"? How 'bout you get Smallest Dick Most Likely to Have the Saggiest Balls In His Dad's Mouth? Fool.
Bye! Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God! - Oh, Ring Pops.
- Maura.
- Hi.
Hi! That's funny, I put that one too.
That one's wrong.
That should be Spencer.
- Oh, I know.
- Yeah.
- That's what - Maya said Spencer.
I said Spencer earlier.
I love your pants.
I love them.
Thanks.
They're 7 Jeans.
I hate knockoffs.
- I hate knockoffs too.
- Me too.
I wish that they had a category for Best Pants.
- It's, like, so annoying that they don't.
- I know.
I'm gonna write it in.
- For who? - For her.
Oh, obviously.
Thanks.
Wanna come over to my house after school? Oh, my God.
You should take this one.
It would be perfect on you.
- Oh, yeah.
- Wait, are these car keys real? This is incredible.
Take what you want.
It's all for pretend.
Where'd you get that cell phone? - Oh, my God.
- Is this real diamonds? I think so.
I love this.
So, I'm Alison Canning, and my husband is a banker, and this is my son Danny.
Okay.
And I'm Isabel, and this is my daughter Kate, and her father's been missing.
- Oh, no.
- Okay, and I'm Bonnie, and this is Robert, and I have to go to Blockbuster because my other son, Ascrit, is there and he's just been there alone for hours, so I gotta pick him up.
- Oh, my God.
- Now, yeah.
- Maya.
- I know.
Guys, let's eat lunch at Cazzio's.
Okay.
What's Cazzio's? - Uh, it's, like, a restaurant.
- Cazzio's! Maya and I play pretend too, but not everybody does.
Yeah.
- Hang on.
- Okay.
Mom, turn the AC on.
I'm hot.
All right.
- That's an intercom? - Yeah.
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
- You guys.
- Hmm? Um I'm just having the hardest time with Bernard.
- No.
- Aww.
Listen, do you want me to get Wade to talk to him? Because honestly, like, I need a break from him 'cause he just keeps wanting to have so much sex all the time.
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's, like, so much, you guys.
It's, like, the same with my husband.
- Mine too.
- Mine's more, though.
A lot.
- Mm.
- Mm.
Mm.
Are you guys hungry? No, I've got my chicken cacciatore.
No, I mean, like, in real life.
Like, actually hungry.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I know.
It's kinda crazy that we've just met, like, ten minutes ago and now we're just in your house like it's been forever.
- So random.
- So random.
So random.
- Fools.
- Yeah, fools.
Fool.
Fool.
So who's even in your group of friends? - Like - Yeah.
I kinda have, like, a lot.
- That makes sense.
- Like who? Like, who's in your group? Well, I have this ultimate, ultimate best friend, but she's in Arizona, but, like, she's a doctor.
Shut up! Yeah, and she's, like, our age.
She's, like, the youngest in the country.
- You're lying.
- No, I'm not! How is she a doctor? - Is she a genius? - Yeah.
- That's, like, crazy.
- Right? - Can I, like, see a picture? - Yeah.
That is incredible.
- That's her.
- Oh - Oh, my God.
- My God.
- That's Tanya.
- She's so pretty.
- I know, right? - Beautiful.
- Oh, my God.
- She has, like, three mansions too.
- Wow.
- How'd she get those? - Hi, girls.
- Oh, hey! - Hi.
- Hey.
I'm Leanne.
I'm Maura's mom.
Oh, hi.
I'm Anna.
- Anna.
So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Maya.
- Hi, Maya.
So glad you're here.
Can I get you girls a drink? I have Powerade, ginger ale, - Capri Sun - Yes.
Powerade, please? Of course.
How many? - Three.
- Maya.
- What? - No.
- It's fine.
- Anna? - Okay, yeah.
- Come on.
- Yes, please.
- Did you hear what she said? - Of course.
- Three.
Anna.
What? - You just said - Okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay, sorry.
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Mom, leave.
I will.
I just wanna see if your friends would like something to eat.
Frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, mozzarella sticks - Mom.
- Or I can make you guys a quesadilla.
Honey, quesadilla.
I don't want a fucking quesadilla, you cunt.
Sweetie, um you're being such a bad fairy.
Shwoo! Okay.
Okay! Um, I will, uh, get out of your way, but please help yourself to whatever.
I buy in bulk, so Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry about that.
She just really misses Tonia.
Oh, no.
Who's Tonia? My best friend.
- The doctor.
- Yeah.
That she just showed us.
- Yes.
- From Arizona.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Like Doy.
Wait.
Are those jawbreakers? Yeah, fool.
You want some? Hey, fool.
What you looking at, fool? Oh, my gosh, Maya! Hey, fools.
Oh, hey.
Do you know who you're gonna vote for for Best Best Friends? Um, I don't know.
I haven't thought about it.
Well, me, Maya, and Anna have been best friends since we were, like, two, and I think it'd be pretty fucked up to not vote for what's real.
Mm-hmm.
- You want a Ring Pop? - Um, sure.
Just think about it.
Oh, hey.
Do you know who you're gonna vote for for Best Best Friends? - Hi! - Hi! - Hi! - Hi.
Oh, are you Anna's mom? Oh, my God, you are so pretty! Where are you guys going? - Can I come? - Yes.
- Please? - Uh, you're very sweet, but not today.
I have the massage table.
- Car's full.
- Oh, that's totally fine.
- I can just sit on their laps! - No.
- Yes, she can sit on our laps.
- Come here.
- Please? Oh, my God.
- Anna, Anna, no.
- Mom! - I'm attached to them.
- Yeah.
- No.
Anna, no.
- Mom, stop being such a fool.
- Anna Kone! - Ooh.
- Who's a fool now, fool? - Yeah, fool.
- Fool.
- I'm a fool, fool? - Yeah, you're a fool.
- I'm a fool, fool? - You're a fool.
Foo-fool-foo-foo-fool.
Okay, you guys, - can you just stop saying "fool"? - You're all fools.
Mom, it's just a stupid word, you cunt.
What? What did you just call me? Do you even know what that means? That's the worst thing you can call a woman.
I thought it was a type of fool.
Who's teaching you these words? I can't remember.
I cunt remember.
It's an English accent! Okay, you know what? Um, you really need to get out of the car 'cause we're gonna go.
- No, no.
- Aww, no! - Please? Mm? - I love you guys.
- Love you.
- Love you more! - Bye.
- Bye.
- Love you.
- Love you.
I miss you already.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- Miss you.
- No! - No! No! - Love you guys! - Love you! You're my world! I'm just kinda concerned.
She's been using new words, and I don't think she really knows what they mean.
Um, I thought maybe it might be a good time to do a mother-daughter shopping day, and I thought if Maya came, she'd be more open? We really don't need anything, but Fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool Okay.
Maura would hate this store.
Okay, not loaded.
Not loaded.
That is loaded, though.
- Not loaded.
- Not loaded.
I agree.
- We don't like it.
- Yeah, I don't like it.
Ew.
Anna.
Ew, is that made of hay? Ew! - Wow.
- Ew.
This place.
Anna.
Is there anyone you have a crush on at school? No.
- Oh, my God.
- What? - This is butt ugly.
- Oh, no! Oh, that's nice.
Mom, it's so ugly.
- Like ew.
- It's here if you want it.
So not loaded.
- Stupid.
- Not loaded.
Not loaded.
So when are we going to meet this Maura girl? Mom, like, don't ask us that.
It seems you three are really close very fast.
Yeah, that's what happens when they're your best friend.
It's, like, yeah, fast.
- That's how best friendships happen.
- Oh, my God.
Tommy Hilfiger.
- Wait.
It's fake.
- No, I don't think so.
- This is fake Tommy Hil.
- This is real.
Look.
It's real.
- It's big, though, no? - I don't think so.
I kind of think it's perfect.
- That's loaded.
- That's loaded.
- That's loaded, loaded, loaded - That's not loaded, loaded.
- That's loaded - Loaded - It's loaded - Everybody get down It's loaded, loaded, loaded I really like how this looks on me.
I wanna get it.
- Maya.
- Mom, stop.
Someone is gonna see my boobs.
- Ah, it's it's okay.
- Like, knock.
Oh, my God.
I love it.
No, it's not nice.
It's a T-shirt.
- It's men's T-shirt.
- Mom, that you wear as a dress.
- Wore it as a - As a dress? Yeah, wore it as a all the time.
Okay, fine.
You don't have to like it.
- I'm buying it for you, so no.
- Okay, but Mom, I want it.
- I like it.
- No.
Maybe you can give it to Anna because she's taller.
Mom, stop.
I don't wanna give it to Anna.
- Let me wear it.
- I'm not buying it.
- Mom, stop.
- No, I'm not.
- Stop it, stop it.
- Maya, stop.
- Maya, stop take it off.
- Mom, please.
- Take it off.
- Stop touching it! - Take it off.
- Mom, stop it! It looks so good on you.
You should get it.
For Easter.
No, it's just not me.
I don't like it.
It's more you.
- What's wrong with me? - Nothing.
It's just not me.
It's kinda slutty.
- What did you say? - Anna? Nothing.
I'm just saying I don't Anna.
This is for you.
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
What did you just call me? I didn't call you anything.
Can you stop yelling? My best friend is Why are you talking to me like that? Why? Shh! Lower your voice.
I'm not yelling.
I'm whispering.
Why are you telling me to be quiet? Why are you shh-ing me? Did you learn that from your dad? I'd rather be like Dad than like you.
- Are you ready, 'Na? - Coming! I'm trying to look at it.
Ready.
I hate it.
But you look so beautiful, Maya.
You look like your mother.
No, I don't look anything like her.
She's ugly.
Don't say that.
That's really not a nice thing to say.
- Your mother is a beautiful woman.
- Thank you.
And you are very lucky to look like her.
I don't look like her, and I don't like this dress.
I never wanted to wear it, and I want to take it off.
Stop, Maya.
You're being rude.
No, I don't like it.
- You don't know my taste, Mom.
- Stop.
- Stop.
Maya, stop.
- Mom, I don't wanna buy it! - I wanted to buy the other thing.
- Stop it.
Stop acting like a little spoiled bitch.
- Thank you for saying that, Yuki.
- Okay.
Anna's doing the same thing.
Oh, my God, Mom.
Mature much? Mom.
Are you serious? You just called your daughter a bitch, in a store, in front of my friend.
Do you know how embarrassing that is? I don't care.
You know, you are acting like one.
Well, I hate you, you bitch! I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it.
No, stop! - I'm gonna stop - Mommy, stop it! Mom, look what you're causing.
Oh.
Oh, right.
- Everything's my fault.
- Yeah, it's your fault.
- Okay, you need to stop.
- Leave me alone! - Mom! - Maya.
Okay, I'm calling 9-1-1 and Daddy! Like, this is what you do to Daddy.
Blame him for everything and then you're just like you're such a What? - You're a cunt.
- Just say it.
Stop, stop, stop! Stop! Mom, you're embarrassing me! - You're embarrassing me! - You too, okay? I mean, I think it looks stupid with jeans, but I think it looks really good.
I don't know why you didn't wear it as a dress, but it still looks good.
Thanks for getting it for me.
Of course.
Are you okay? No.
My mom's, like, so pissed.
- All night.
She's so pissed.
- Maura.
It's great.
Thank you.
What about you? Is your mom, like did you guys make up? I mean, no.
You saw what my mom did.
Like, that was so crazy.
What did she do? Don't.
- Tell her.
- I'm not.
It was a shopping trip gone bad.
So now you didn't invite me and you don't tell me stuff.
Cool.
I sorry.
I'm sorry.
That's not what I meant.
- Maura.
- Maura, are you serious? - Are you joking? - Maura, come on! Teachers, please don't park in the bus turnaround.
Seems obvious.
But apparently, it's not.
And the results we've all been waiting for here are the superlative winners.
- Most Likely to Succeed - Maura.
Ashley Stewart.
- Maura.
- Maura.
Maura, Maura, Maura Maur, Maur, Maur-Maur - Maura - Maur, Maur, Maur - Stop.
- Most Athletic Boy goes to Joey Roberts.
Best Couple: Heather Taylor and Alex Nolan.
You guys, they actually just broke up.
I can't keep up.
For Class Gossip, Ian Walsh.
And Best Best Friends goes to Anna Kone and Maya Ishii-Peters - Oh! - And Maura Hall.
Most Musical goes to Oh, my God! Maura! Three best friends! - There's the smile.
- There she is.
There's the happy smile.
I knew we were gonna get it.
Wait, how did we get three best friends? That's crazy.
- Dude, people just know.
- We are.
Yeah.
Guess we'll have to take pictures.
I mean, you guys! Bow down, fools.
Fools.
Yeah, fools.
Oh, my God.
Wait, that's cute.
That blue one.
- Mm, nah.
- Nah.
I'm just gonna say, if we're gonna match for the superlatives picture, we don't have a lot of options.
My good stuff's somewhere else, I feel like.
Wait, is this Limited Too? - Oh.
- That's so loaded.
Maya, I didn't know you have Limited Too.
No, it's it's The Rave.
Oh.
Try to get it.
We have arms.
- Wait.
- Try to get it.
- Try to get it.
- Okay, I have an arm too.
- Try to get it.
- Try to get it.
- No, Maya, you don't have an arm.
- No, Maya, you don't have arms.
Okay, you guys, stop.
You're stretching out my shirt.
- Stop.
- What else do you have in here? It's my favorite shirt.
Dude, you have, like, nothing here, Maya.
- Like, I swear.
- Oh, what about this one? - No, fool! - This Okay, can I have an arm? No.
You're in the middle.
This isn't funny, you guys.
Stop.
This is actually, like, not fun right now.
Chillax, Maya.
God.
- Maya, chill.
- Stop being so sensitive.
I'm not being sensitive.
I just want an arm.
You guys are being really annoying.
- Whatever.
- Okay, have fun with arms.
What is this? Like, a fishing net? What? What's wrong? Mom.
What? What? Is it Maura? No.
I love her.
Stop! Stop looking at me! - Are they being nice to you? - Mom, yes! They're being nice to me! They're my best friends! You don't know anything! Why are you freaking like this? Maya? - Nothing is working in here.
- It's faulty! You okay? - Can you not use my gum, please? Sorry.
- Okay! I'm trying to save that for my birthday.
- - Why? It's just gum.
Mom, go.
Please.
Go! Mom, stop.
Can you go? Mom, please, go.
It's fine.
Then tell her to clean it up.
- Okay.
- I don't like it.
Okay, okay, okay! - - Go.
Mom, it's fine.
Leave.
We'll clean it up.
Sorry.
Oh, my gosh.
Maya, your mom has, like a scary accent.
My mom doesn't have an accent.
Are you kidding me? She has, like, the thickest accent I've ever heard.
- No, she doesn't.
- I just don't think you hear it because she's your mom.
- Anna.
- But I like it.
You guys, my mom doesn't have an accent.
That's, like, a really mean thing of you to say.
Like, you guys are being really rude.
Dude, I'm not trying to be rude.
I'm just saying, she has an Well, can you please, like, clean up the clothes? 'Cause you're making a really big mess.
Okay, but, I mean, you were doing it too.
Not as much as you, Maura.
Like - Guys, don't - Yeah, you were.
Don't fight! Please, please.
Just remember, like, we are three best friends.
You're so right, Anna.
I'm sorry.
Remember that.
You guys are my number ones.
- Maya.
- Maya.
- Love you fools.
- Love you fools.
Love you.
I had a really weird dream last night about Maura.
I was like it felt like I had something stuck in my throat and I was, like, pulling and pulling and pulling and it was, like, Maura's hair stuck in my lungs.
Like, it kept coming out.
Ew.
You have an amazing brain.
Hi! - Hi! - Hi! Hi, fools.
How you doing? Good.
Best Best Friends! - Whoo! - Yes! - Yes.
- Yes! - I'm really excited.
- I'm really excited.
I'm really proud.
So excited.
So, my mom went ahead and got us a little something.
What? Shut up.
I was gonna say, I love your hat.
We were supposed to be matching and you're not matching.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- You got this? - Is this felt? - No, it's Angora.
- Oh, no, I know.
I love Angora.
They look so good on you guys.
Do you like it, Maya? Yeah, it just doesn't fit.
Can you It looks really good like that.
- Oh, okay.
- Let's just yeah.
- Thank you.
- How? We need to look good.
We're gonna be looking at this when we're 40.
All right, Best Best Friends? - That's us.
- Get ready.
Oh, wait.
Hang on.
There's something else.
- What? - Maura! You're so nice.
No, no, open it.
- Open it.
- Oh.
They're friendship necklaces.
Oh, my God.
It's three and it makes a heart.
I have the middle piece.
Oh, my God.
- I know! - Incredible.
It says "best friends forever.
" Yeah.
Put it on.
It'll look really good for the picture.
- I like them together.
- Yeah, I like it.
Actually, that might be kinda weird.
With two.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
- Yeah, stupid.
- Yeah.
- Just the one.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay, JK.
Just put it safely there.
'Kay.
Let's go.
Oh, uh, Maya, I might wanna go in the middle 'cause, like, I have the middle piece.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Well, I okay.
- Okay.
- First pose! - Oh.
Okay.
Hold on.
Charlie's Angels! - Okay, wait.
- Oh, wait.
Look hot, guys.
- Um - Necklaces! - Okay.
- Yeah.
- 'Kay.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
- Won't fit without mine! Best friends forever! I'm telling you, a new Anna.
- Like she's possessed.
- Hold on.
Call waiting.
Hello? - Still Kathy.
- Oh.
Hello? Yuki.
Hey, it's Leanne.
Just wanna say thanks for being so good to Maura.
Oh, Maura's mom.
I'm just talking with Anna's mom, Kathy.
Maybe let's all talk.
Uh, hold on.
I'll get Let's see.
Kathy? - No.
It's just Leanne.
- Oh, shit.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
How's Anna? Okay.
How is she dealing with her parents? Okay.
You normally talk more.
What's wrong? Everyone hates me at school.
I don't wanna talk about it.
You care always about what the others are thinking.
Who cares what the others think? Neh? Okay.
So we're just we're waiting.
The court has to decide who's gonna get the house.
Fingers crossed.
Let's hope that, uh, the judge does the right thing.
Is that too much information? Oh.
You have a lot of heart energy in there.
Anna? - You need to open up.
- Okay, sorry.
Hey.
How 'bout how 'bout we do, um a mother-daughter day? We get our nails done, and we go shopping.
Can I please be excused? Yeah.
Please put the incense out.
It's weird.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Wonder what those idiots are talking about.
Kinda miss 'em.
Yeah.
- Due Friday.
- Oh, shite.
Superlatives.
Oh, my God.
Not now.
Shit, Best Duo? Connie's tits.
Shut up.
She's right beside you.
- Shut up.
- That was, like, the worst joke.
- It's just a joke, chill.
- What's up, Brandt? What's up? What's up, bro? Dustin, Best Couple? Me and your mom.
Oh! - For real, though.
- 'Scuse me.
Brandt, what about you and BSB for Best Couple? Shit.
Okay, okay.
What about Miss Lackey when she gets her braces off? Yeah.
For sure.
Man, that's fucked up.
Biggest gossip.
- Oh, definitely Ian.
- Definitely.
Yes.
Yeah, Connie's mom, bro.
- Oh! - Shut up! - Shut up! - Yo, she got a MILF! - She definitely has a MILF.
- No, stop.
'Sup? Is that your new table? Nah, that's just Brandt was just saying that he's gonna vote for Connie M.
's tits for Best Duo and then Ian for Class Gossip.
Why would that go to Ian? I don't know.
They said he was gay, so So are you, like, resigning as editorial manager of Weasels? You guys still doing that? Damn.
What? You're kinda different.
What? Jafeer, come on.
Don't be so fucking sensitive.
Ugh, I hate this question.
Like, what is success, you know? So stupid.
Okay, well, obviously, you and me for Best Best Friends.
Obviously.
Hey, quick question.
I'm struggling here.
- Oh, sure.
- Would you wanna be put down as "psycho bitch" or "puss-nasty"? Big smelly bush say what? What? Oh, "big smelly bush"? How 'bout you get Smallest Dick Most Likely to Have the Saggiest Balls In His Dad's Mouth? Fool.
Bye! Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God! - Oh, Ring Pops.
- Maura.
- Hi.
Hi! That's funny, I put that one too.
That one's wrong.
That should be Spencer.
- Oh, I know.
- Yeah.
- That's what - Maya said Spencer.
I said Spencer earlier.
I love your pants.
I love them.
Thanks.
They're 7 Jeans.
I hate knockoffs.
- I hate knockoffs too.
- Me too.
I wish that they had a category for Best Pants.
- It's, like, so annoying that they don't.
- I know.
I'm gonna write it in.
- For who? - For her.
Oh, obviously.
Thanks.
Wanna come over to my house after school? Oh, my God.
You should take this one.
It would be perfect on you.
- Oh, yeah.
- Wait, are these car keys real? This is incredible.
Take what you want.
It's all for pretend.
Where'd you get that cell phone? - Oh, my God.
- Is this real diamonds? I think so.
I love this.
So, I'm Alison Canning, and my husband is a banker, and this is my son Danny.
Okay.
And I'm Isabel, and this is my daughter Kate, and her father's been missing.
- Oh, no.
- Okay, and I'm Bonnie, and this is Robert, and I have to go to Blockbuster because my other son, Ascrit, is there and he's just been there alone for hours, so I gotta pick him up.
- Oh, my God.
- Now, yeah.
- Maya.
- I know.
Guys, let's eat lunch at Cazzio's.
Okay.
What's Cazzio's? - Uh, it's, like, a restaurant.
- Cazzio's! Maya and I play pretend too, but not everybody does.
Yeah.
- Hang on.
- Okay.
Mom, turn the AC on.
I'm hot.
All right.
- That's an intercom? - Yeah.
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
- You guys.
- Hmm? Um I'm just having the hardest time with Bernard.
- No.
- Aww.
Listen, do you want me to get Wade to talk to him? Because honestly, like, I need a break from him 'cause he just keeps wanting to have so much sex all the time.
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's, like, so much, you guys.
It's, like, the same with my husband.
- Mine too.
- Mine's more, though.
A lot.
- Mm.
- Mm.
Mm.
Are you guys hungry? No, I've got my chicken cacciatore.
No, I mean, like, in real life.
Like, actually hungry.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I know.
It's kinda crazy that we've just met, like, ten minutes ago and now we're just in your house like it's been forever.
- So random.
- So random.
So random.
- Fools.
- Yeah, fools.
Fool.
Fool.
So who's even in your group of friends? - Like - Yeah.
I kinda have, like, a lot.
- That makes sense.
- Like who? Like, who's in your group? Well, I have this ultimate, ultimate best friend, but she's in Arizona, but, like, she's a doctor.
Shut up! Yeah, and she's, like, our age.
She's, like, the youngest in the country.
- You're lying.
- No, I'm not! How is she a doctor? - Is she a genius? - Yeah.
- That's, like, crazy.
- Right? - Can I, like, see a picture? - Yeah.
That is incredible.
- That's her.
- Oh - Oh, my God.
- My God.
- That's Tanya.
- She's so pretty.
- I know, right? - Beautiful.
- Oh, my God.
- She has, like, three mansions too.
- Wow.
- How'd she get those? - Hi, girls.
- Oh, hey! - Hi.
- Hey.
I'm Leanne.
I'm Maura's mom.
Oh, hi.
I'm Anna.
- Anna.
So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Maya.
- Hi, Maya.
So glad you're here.
Can I get you girls a drink? I have Powerade, ginger ale, - Capri Sun - Yes.
Powerade, please? Of course.
How many? - Three.
- Maya.
- What? - No.
- It's fine.
- Anna? - Okay, yeah.
- Come on.
- Yes, please.
- Did you hear what she said? - Of course.
- Three.
Anna.
What? - You just said - Okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay, sorry.
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Mom, leave.
I will.
I just wanna see if your friends would like something to eat.
Frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, mozzarella sticks - Mom.
- Or I can make you guys a quesadilla.
Honey, quesadilla.
I don't want a fucking quesadilla, you cunt.
Sweetie, um you're being such a bad fairy.
Shwoo! Okay.
Okay! Um, I will, uh, get out of your way, but please help yourself to whatever.
I buy in bulk, so Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry about that.
She just really misses Tonia.
Oh, no.
Who's Tonia? My best friend.
- The doctor.
- Yeah.
That she just showed us.
- Yes.
- From Arizona.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Like Doy.
Wait.
Are those jawbreakers? Yeah, fool.
You want some? Hey, fool.
What you looking at, fool? Oh, my gosh, Maya! Hey, fools.
Oh, hey.
Do you know who you're gonna vote for for Best Best Friends? Um, I don't know.
I haven't thought about it.
Well, me, Maya, and Anna have been best friends since we were, like, two, and I think it'd be pretty fucked up to not vote for what's real.
Mm-hmm.
- You want a Ring Pop? - Um, sure.
Just think about it.
Oh, hey.
Do you know who you're gonna vote for for Best Best Friends? - Hi! - Hi! - Hi! - Hi.
Oh, are you Anna's mom? Oh, my God, you are so pretty! Where are you guys going? - Can I come? - Yes.
- Please? - Uh, you're very sweet, but not today.
I have the massage table.
- Car's full.
- Oh, that's totally fine.
- I can just sit on their laps! - No.
- Yes, she can sit on our laps.
- Come here.
- Please? Oh, my God.
- Anna, Anna, no.
- Mom! - I'm attached to them.
- Yeah.
- No.
Anna, no.
- Mom, stop being such a fool.
- Anna Kone! - Ooh.
- Who's a fool now, fool? - Yeah, fool.
- Fool.
- I'm a fool, fool? - Yeah, you're a fool.
- I'm a fool, fool? - You're a fool.
Foo-fool-foo-foo-fool.
Okay, you guys, - can you just stop saying "fool"? - You're all fools.
Mom, it's just a stupid word, you cunt.
What? What did you just call me? Do you even know what that means? That's the worst thing you can call a woman.
I thought it was a type of fool.
Who's teaching you these words? I can't remember.
I cunt remember.
It's an English accent! Okay, you know what? Um, you really need to get out of the car 'cause we're gonna go.
- No, no.
- Aww, no! - Please? Mm? - I love you guys.
- Love you.
- Love you more! - Bye.
- Bye.
- Love you.
- Love you.
I miss you already.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- Miss you.
- No! - No! No! - Love you guys! - Love you! You're my world! I'm just kinda concerned.
She's been using new words, and I don't think she really knows what they mean.
Um, I thought maybe it might be a good time to do a mother-daughter shopping day, and I thought if Maya came, she'd be more open? We really don't need anything, but Fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool, fool Okay.
Maura would hate this store.
Okay, not loaded.
Not loaded.
That is loaded, though.
- Not loaded.
- Not loaded.
I agree.
- We don't like it.
- Yeah, I don't like it.
Ew.
Anna.
Ew, is that made of hay? Ew! - Wow.
- Ew.
This place.
Anna.
Is there anyone you have a crush on at school? No.
- Oh, my God.
- What? - This is butt ugly.
- Oh, no! Oh, that's nice.
Mom, it's so ugly.
- Like ew.
- It's here if you want it.
So not loaded.
- Stupid.
- Not loaded.
Not loaded.
So when are we going to meet this Maura girl? Mom, like, don't ask us that.
It seems you three are really close very fast.
Yeah, that's what happens when they're your best friend.
It's, like, yeah, fast.
- That's how best friendships happen.
- Oh, my God.
Tommy Hilfiger.
- Wait.
It's fake.
- No, I don't think so.
- This is fake Tommy Hil.
- This is real.
Look.
It's real.
- It's big, though, no? - I don't think so.
I kind of think it's perfect.
- That's loaded.
- That's loaded.
- That's loaded, loaded, loaded - That's not loaded, loaded.
- That's loaded - Loaded - It's loaded - Everybody get down It's loaded, loaded, loaded I really like how this looks on me.
I wanna get it.
- Maya.
- Mom, stop.
Someone is gonna see my boobs.
- Ah, it's it's okay.
- Like, knock.
Oh, my God.
I love it.
No, it's not nice.
It's a T-shirt.
- It's men's T-shirt.
- Mom, that you wear as a dress.
- Wore it as a - As a dress? Yeah, wore it as a all the time.
Okay, fine.
You don't have to like it.
- I'm buying it for you, so no.
- Okay, but Mom, I want it.
- I like it.
- No.
Maybe you can give it to Anna because she's taller.
Mom, stop.
I don't wanna give it to Anna.
- Let me wear it.
- I'm not buying it.
- Mom, stop.
- No, I'm not.
- Stop it, stop it.
- Maya, stop.
- Maya, stop take it off.
- Mom, please.
- Take it off.
- Stop touching it! - Take it off.
- Mom, stop it! It looks so good on you.
You should get it.
For Easter.
No, it's just not me.
I don't like it.
It's more you.
- What's wrong with me? - Nothing.
It's just not me.
It's kinda slutty.
- What did you say? - Anna? Nothing.
I'm just saying I don't Anna.
This is for you.
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
What did you just call me? I didn't call you anything.
Can you stop yelling? My best friend is Why are you talking to me like that? Why? Shh! Lower your voice.
I'm not yelling.
I'm whispering.
Why are you telling me to be quiet? Why are you shh-ing me? Did you learn that from your dad? I'd rather be like Dad than like you.
- Are you ready, 'Na? - Coming! I'm trying to look at it.
Ready.
I hate it.
But you look so beautiful, Maya.
You look like your mother.
No, I don't look anything like her.
She's ugly.
Don't say that.
That's really not a nice thing to say.
- Your mother is a beautiful woman.
- Thank you.
And you are very lucky to look like her.
I don't look like her, and I don't like this dress.
I never wanted to wear it, and I want to take it off.
Stop, Maya.
You're being rude.
No, I don't like it.
- You don't know my taste, Mom.
- Stop.
- Stop.
Maya, stop.
- Mom, I don't wanna buy it! - I wanted to buy the other thing.
- Stop it.
Stop acting like a little spoiled bitch.
- Thank you for saying that, Yuki.
- Okay.
Anna's doing the same thing.
Oh, my God, Mom.
Mature much? Mom.
Are you serious? You just called your daughter a bitch, in a store, in front of my friend.
Do you know how embarrassing that is? I don't care.
You know, you are acting like one.
Well, I hate you, you bitch! I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it.
No, stop! - I'm gonna stop - Mommy, stop it! Mom, look what you're causing.
Oh.
Oh, right.
- Everything's my fault.
- Yeah, it's your fault.
- Okay, you need to stop.
- Leave me alone! - Mom! - Maya.
Okay, I'm calling 9-1-1 and Daddy! Like, this is what you do to Daddy.
Blame him for everything and then you're just like you're such a What? - You're a cunt.
- Just say it.
Stop, stop, stop! Stop! Mom, you're embarrassing me! - You're embarrassing me! - You too, okay? I mean, I think it looks stupid with jeans, but I think it looks really good.
I don't know why you didn't wear it as a dress, but it still looks good.
Thanks for getting it for me.
Of course.
Are you okay? No.
My mom's, like, so pissed.
- All night.
She's so pissed.
- Maura.
It's great.
Thank you.
What about you? Is your mom, like did you guys make up? I mean, no.
You saw what my mom did.
Like, that was so crazy.
What did she do? Don't.
- Tell her.
- I'm not.
It was a shopping trip gone bad.
So now you didn't invite me and you don't tell me stuff.
Cool.
I sorry.
I'm sorry.
That's not what I meant.
- Maura.
- Maura, are you serious? - Are you joking? - Maura, come on! Teachers, please don't park in the bus turnaround.
Seems obvious.
But apparently, it's not.
And the results we've all been waiting for here are the superlative winners.
- Most Likely to Succeed - Maura.
Ashley Stewart.
- Maura.
- Maura.
Maura, Maura, Maura Maur, Maur, Maur-Maur - Maura - Maur, Maur, Maur - Stop.
- Most Athletic Boy goes to Joey Roberts.
Best Couple: Heather Taylor and Alex Nolan.
You guys, they actually just broke up.
I can't keep up.
For Class Gossip, Ian Walsh.
And Best Best Friends goes to Anna Kone and Maya Ishii-Peters - Oh! - And Maura Hall.
Most Musical goes to Oh, my God! Maura! Three best friends! - There's the smile.
- There she is.
There's the happy smile.
I knew we were gonna get it.
Wait, how did we get three best friends? That's crazy.
- Dude, people just know.
- We are.
Yeah.
Guess we'll have to take pictures.
I mean, you guys! Bow down, fools.
Fools.
Yeah, fools.
Oh, my God.
Wait, that's cute.
That blue one.
- Mm, nah.
- Nah.
I'm just gonna say, if we're gonna match for the superlatives picture, we don't have a lot of options.
My good stuff's somewhere else, I feel like.
Wait, is this Limited Too? - Oh.
- That's so loaded.
Maya, I didn't know you have Limited Too.
No, it's it's The Rave.
Oh.
Try to get it.
We have arms.
- Wait.
- Try to get it.
- Try to get it.
- Okay, I have an arm too.
- Try to get it.
- Try to get it.
- No, Maya, you don't have an arm.
- No, Maya, you don't have arms.
Okay, you guys, stop.
You're stretching out my shirt.
- Stop.
- What else do you have in here? It's my favorite shirt.
Dude, you have, like, nothing here, Maya.
- Like, I swear.
- Oh, what about this one? - No, fool! - This Okay, can I have an arm? No.
You're in the middle.
This isn't funny, you guys.
Stop.
This is actually, like, not fun right now.
Chillax, Maya.
God.
- Maya, chill.
- Stop being so sensitive.
I'm not being sensitive.
I just want an arm.
You guys are being really annoying.
- Whatever.
- Okay, have fun with arms.
What is this? Like, a fishing net? What? What's wrong? Mom.
What? What? Is it Maura? No.
I love her.
Stop! Stop looking at me! - Are they being nice to you? - Mom, yes! They're being nice to me! They're my best friends! You don't know anything! Why are you freaking like this? Maya? - Nothing is working in here.
- It's faulty! You okay? - Can you not use my gum, please? Sorry.
- Okay! I'm trying to save that for my birthday.
- - Why? It's just gum.
Mom, go.
Please.
Go! Mom, stop.
Can you go? Mom, please, go.
It's fine.
Then tell her to clean it up.
- Okay.
- I don't like it.
Okay, okay, okay! - - Go.
Mom, it's fine.
Leave.
We'll clean it up.
Sorry.
Oh, my gosh.
Maya, your mom has, like a scary accent.
My mom doesn't have an accent.
Are you kidding me? She has, like, the thickest accent I've ever heard.
- No, she doesn't.
- I just don't think you hear it because she's your mom.
- Anna.
- But I like it.
You guys, my mom doesn't have an accent.
That's, like, a really mean thing of you to say.
Like, you guys are being really rude.
Dude, I'm not trying to be rude.
I'm just saying, she has an Well, can you please, like, clean up the clothes? 'Cause you're making a really big mess.
Okay, but, I mean, you were doing it too.
Not as much as you, Maura.
Like - Guys, don't - Yeah, you were.
Don't fight! Please, please.
Just remember, like, we are three best friends.
You're so right, Anna.
I'm sorry.
Remember that.
You guys are my number ones.
- Maya.
- Maya.
- Love you fools.
- Love you fools.
Love you.
I had a really weird dream last night about Maura.
I was like it felt like I had something stuck in my throat and I was, like, pulling and pulling and pulling and it was, like, Maura's hair stuck in my lungs.
Like, it kept coming out.
Ew.
You have an amazing brain.
Hi! - Hi! - Hi! Hi, fools.
How you doing? Good.
Best Best Friends! - Whoo! - Yes! - Yes.
- Yes! - I'm really excited.
- I'm really excited.
I'm really proud.
So excited.
So, my mom went ahead and got us a little something.
What? Shut up.
I was gonna say, I love your hat.
We were supposed to be matching and you're not matching.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- You got this? - Is this felt? - No, it's Angora.
- Oh, no, I know.
I love Angora.
They look so good on you guys.
Do you like it, Maya? Yeah, it just doesn't fit.
Can you It looks really good like that.
- Oh, okay.
- Let's just yeah.
- Thank you.
- How? We need to look good.
We're gonna be looking at this when we're 40.
All right, Best Best Friends? - That's us.
- Get ready.
Oh, wait.
Hang on.
There's something else.
- What? - Maura! You're so nice.
No, no, open it.
- Open it.
- Oh.
They're friendship necklaces.
Oh, my God.
It's three and it makes a heart.
I have the middle piece.
Oh, my God.
- I know! - Incredible.
It says "best friends forever.
" Yeah.
Put it on.
It'll look really good for the picture.
- I like them together.
- Yeah, I like it.
Actually, that might be kinda weird.
With two.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
- Yeah, stupid.
- Yeah.
- Just the one.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay, JK.
Just put it safely there.
'Kay.
Let's go.
Oh, uh, Maya, I might wanna go in the middle 'cause, like, I have the middle piece.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Well, I okay.
- Okay.
- First pose! - Oh.
Okay.
Hold on.
Charlie's Angels! - Okay, wait.
- Oh, wait.
Look hot, guys.
- Um - Necklaces! - Okay.
- Yeah.
- 'Kay.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
- Won't fit without mine! Best friends forever! I'm telling you, a new Anna.
- Like she's possessed.
- Hold on.
Call waiting.
Hello? - Still Kathy.
- Oh.
Hello? Yuki.
Hey, it's Leanne.
Just wanna say thanks for being so good to Maura.
Oh, Maura's mom.
I'm just talking with Anna's mom, Kathy.
Maybe let's all talk.
Uh, hold on.
I'll get Let's see.
Kathy? - No.
It's just Leanne.
- Oh, shit.