Pop Team Epic (2018) s02e04 Episode Script
Train Battle
1
Poptepipic!
You're always supposed to start
with rock in rock-paper-scissors!
But I do paper!
What?
Did I do it?
DID I
I did it!
I found the way to Heaven
My past life with you
You've seen the eyes of Heaven
And endless penitence
I've been in seventh heaven
The conflict only grows
What in the name of heaven
An untenable meaning of life
Look up, baby, it's so dangerous
Double trouble a sarcastic poker face
Look back, baby, it's ridiculous
Like a bubble, life is an ephemeral dream
Why are you feeling?
Forever more
It sounds anti world
Way out, what do you believe?
A mirror formula
Wake up, your brain has stopped
An elegant PSYCHO:LOGY
Way out, what do you see?
Saturated irony
EPISODE 4: "TRAIN BATTLE"
I know. I'll go to Kyoto.
I'll put millions of rocks
as barriers everywhere.
SHINKANSEN STATION
Here, there, rock barriers.
Chomp, chomp, nom, nom, yummy.
Excuse me. Would you mind
if I put the seat down?
Don't do it, kid.
Then, mind if I put you down?
Oh? A frog in a well knows not the sea.
Interesting.
Challenge accepted.
Do I have your mutual consent?
Train battle!
ALER
A train battle
has just been declared in car six.
All passengers in car six,
please change cars at once.
Those who wish to observe, please move
to car two to watch the big screens.
Hey, gramps. You're gonna regret this.
Hmph. I'll teach you some manners.
The train battle
begins now.
Too easy.
Crap, my eyes!
This is it!
Ow! Ow! Ice cream headache!
Damn.
Hey, look, that celebrity,
what's-his-face.
Now!
Both combatants down.
The first to stand wins.
Taking as much damage
as you dealt? Aiming for a draw?
Impossible!
With that much damage?
Look out the window.
Out the window?
D-Doctor XXllow?
They say anyone who sees it
will have fortune. Doctor XXllow.
Looks like the goddess of victory
smiled upon me.
Winner. Popko. Popko.
I lose. You win.
Once upon a time, I used to be
a rash train battler just like you.
Is that an ashtray?
The Shinkansen was the spirit
of the Showa Era Japan,
during the economic boom.
The trains were always full of smoke.
Bloodthirsty salarymen
would fight constantly.
That's when train battling was born.
I was afraid.
The cultural landmarks of the Showa Era
were being erased, one after another,
labeled irrational, immoral,
and inconsiderate.
But I'm glad that a train battler
like you still lives.
Mister
I entrust my dream to you.
The memories of those
who fought in the Showa Era.
Fine, guess I'll do it.
I'll join a dying old man in his dream.
I'm gonna be
Japan's best train battler!
-To be continued.
-No, it won't!
-Why not?
-It won't!
What? No way! It will!
Hey, there's extra time.
Poptepipic.
New Corner Bob Epic Team.
Where am I?
You're a jewel waiting to be polished!
What kind?
I do this and this and this!
See? Just like I thought! Genius!
What kind?
Round one.
Round two.
Semifinals.
Finals.
Champion!
What kind?
Poptepipic!
I didn't win.
Throw it away.
Throw!
It broke.
Throw it away.
Throw!
Something appeared.
Throw it away.
Throw!
Okay, everyone! Good night!
Happens.
Poptepipic.
The long-awaited new corner
Begins now.
Poptepipic B-side.
What the heck?
This is fun!
I'll do it again!
Dang, this is fun!
Hey, Popoka!
You don't bring stuff like that to school!
Got a problem with my Popoka?
See this? A Ben's Knife.
It really is!
Poptepipic B-side.
Poptepipic!
Can you turn left and right
at the same time?
Yeah, that's easy!
So, with everything I got
Like I could do that!
Poptepipic!
I'm an attention whore!
I'm changing
my profile headshot this year.
Like!
I'm an attention whore!
I'm uploading a ton of old selfies!
What now?
Like!
Poptepipic!
I thought up a haiku.
With energy now!
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Shut the hell up, you damn bitch.
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Popko.
My, how terrible.
What a horrendous haiku of low quality.
Pipimi.
Huh?
I feel so stupid.
How could I read it aloud
with such confidence?
Popko.
Now, now, dear, don't cry.
Those streaming tears don't belong
on your lovely face.
Pipimi.
Poptepipic.
Pipiboss! They aren't giving an alibi!
Leave this to me.
MOVE
This is the interrogation room.
Who do you want to call?
-Pop.
-What's up?
You did it, didn't you?
You did it, didn't you?
Boss, you're going too far!
No, you did it, didn't you?
-No, I didn't
-I'll bet it was you!
Please put in an order to stop
the investigation, Pipiboss!
Shut up! The culprit's
THE PORTOPIA SERIAL MURDER CASE
POP TEAM EPIC COLLAB
Poptepipic.
Let's have fun getting
stupid personalities to fight each other!
Sounds fun!
STUPID PERSONALITY FIGHT!
Let's go!
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Let's play a game with our fingers
Using only one finger each
One plus one is two
The two of us together
Friends and peace
Friends and peace, peace, pe-pe-peace
Friends and peace
Friends and peace, peace, pe-pe-peace
Friends and peace
Friends and peace, peace, pe-pe-peace
No cheating on me now
Oh, looks like we can talk now.
Oh, really?
Yeah, looks like it.
Hey, like, the reason they paired
the two of us is XXnter x XXnter, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it.
Yeah, has to be.
This is really well-timed.
-Yeah, it is.
-I think the timing's miraculous.
Isn't it great?
Yeah, I'm glad.
I mean, we do GoXX and KiXXa, right?
Yeah, we do.
Yup, that's right. We do.
I'm pretty sure
they're censoring stuff out,
so I'm just gonna keep talking.
I heard Bkub really
loves HuXXter x HuXXter.
I know. He uploaded a rendition of IXXmi.
Seriously?
Doesn't it make you happy?
Yeah. Speaking of Twitter,
XXXgashi started using it.
Right, right. The timing is incredible.
Poptepipic!
Ouch, ouch!
Cha-cha-cha beam! It's a beam!
Did I do it? Hey!
DID I
I did it!
I found the way to Heaven
My past life with you
You've seen the eyes of Heaven
And endless penitence
I've been in seventh heaven
The conflict only grows
What in the name of heaven
An untenable meaning of life
Look up, baby, it's so dangerous
Double trouble a sarcastic poker face
Look back, baby, it's ridiculous
Like a bubble, life is an ephemeral dream
Why are you feeling?
Forever more
It sounds anti world
Way out, what do you believe?
A mirror formula
Wake up, your brain has stopped
An elegant PSYCHO:LOGY
Way out, what do you see?
Saturated irony
EPISODE 4: "TRAIN BATTLE"
I'm so bored.
I know. I'll go to Kyoto.
I'll buy millions of rock barriers.
SHINKANSEN STATION
Excuse me. Would you mind
if I put the seat down?
Don't do it, kid.
Then, mind if I put you down?
Oh? A frog in a well knows not the sea.
Interesting.
Challenge accepted.
Do I have your mutual consent?
Train battle!
ALER
A train battle
has just been declared in car six.
All passengers in car six,
please change cars at once.
Those who wish to observe, please move
to car two to watch the big screens.
Hey, gramps. You're gonna regret this.
I'll teach you some manners.
The train battle
begins now.
Too easy.
My eyes!
This is it!
Ugh, they're so hard!
Hey, look, that celebrity,
bald-bald-bald what's-his-face.
Now!
You know the one I mean!
Both combatants down.
The first to stand wins.
Taking as much damage
as you dealt? Aiming for a draw?
Impossible!
With that much damage?
Look out the window.
Out the window?
D-Doctor xxllow?
They say anyone who sees it
will have fortune. Doctor xxllow.
Looks like the goddess of victory
smiled upon me.
Winner. Popko. Popko.
I lose. You win.
Once upon a time, I used to be
a rash train battler just like you.
That's a tray for ashes. An ashtray.
The Shinkansen was the spirit
of the Showa Era Japan,
during the economic boom.
The trains were always full of smoke.
Bloodthirsty salarymen
would fight constantly.
That's when train battling was born.
I was afraid.
The cultural landmarks of the Showa Era
were being erased, one after another,
labeled irrational, immoral,
and inconsiderate.
But I'm glad that a train battler
like you still lives.
What are you trying to say?
I entrust my dream to you.
The memories of those
who fought in the Showa Era.
Fine, guess I'll do it.
I'll join a dying old man in his dream.
I'm gonna be
Japan's best train battler!
Poptepipic!
New Corner Bob Epic Team.
Where am I?
You're a jewel waiting to be polished!
What kind?
I do this and this and this!
See? Just like I thought! Genius!
What kind?
Round one.
Round two.
Semifinals.
Finals.
Champion!
What kind?
Poptepipic.
I didn't win.
Throw it away.
Throw!
It broke.
Throw it away.
Throw!
Something appeared.
Throw it away.
Throw!
How did this happen?
-I'm all holey.
-Yeah.
The long-awaited new corner
Begins now.
Poptepipic B-side.
Like a good boy.
Oh my!
Yes, yes. One more time.
Hey, Popoka!
You don't bring stuff like that to school!
C'mere.
Poptepipic B-side.
Poptepipic.
Can you turn left and right
at the same time?
Yeah, that's easy!
I did it!
You mean, "Like I could do that!"
I'm an attention whore!
I'm taking the TOEIC!
Like.
I'm an attention whore!
I went for some afternoon tea.
Like.
Say it right.
Okay! I thought up a five-seven-five poem.
With energy now!
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Shut the hell up, you bitch.
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Popko.
My, how terrible.
What a horrendous haiku of low quality.
Pipimi.
Huh?
I feel so stupid.
How could I read it aloud
with such confidence?
Popko.
Now, now, dear, don't cry.
Those streaming tears don't belong
on your lovely face.
Pipimi.
Poptepipic.
Pipiboss! They aren't giving an alibi!
Leave this to me.
MOVE
This is the interrogation room.
Who do you want to call?
Pop.
You did it, didn't you?
You did it, didn't you?
Boss, you're going too far!
No, you did it, didn't you?
I'll bet it was you!
No, I didn't
Please put in an order
to stop the investigation, Pipiboss!
Shut up! The culprit's
THE PORTOPIA SERIAL MURDER CASE
POP TEAM EPIC COLLAB
Poptepipic! A pi!
Let's have fun getting
stupid personalities to fight each other!
Sounds fun!
STUPID PERSONALITY FIGHT!
Let's go!
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Okay! I thought up a five-seven-five
Shut up, bitch.
-Come on.
-Shut the hell up, you damn bitch.
Shut up, bitch.
Hold on.
Popko.
We talked over each other just now.
Crap, crap.
I feel so stupid.
How could I read it aloud
with such confidence?
Man, this take's over.
Let's try that again.
One more time.
Thanks so much for buying Poptepipic.
Hold on. There are
people streaming it too.
And anyway, is there anyone
who'd actually buy it?
Wouldn't it be better if they
bought insert thing here instead?
Pop, what's insert thing here?
I mean, insert thing here is more
insert descriptor here, it's better.
I don't get what you're saying.
Insert what?
Oh, right. And right now,
they come with, uh roasted potatoes.
I don't know what that is!
Pipimi, what are you gonna buy
with the money to buy Popte S2?
Right now, I'd start
a tax-exempt retirement account.
A taxonomy of recliner bros.
Sounds like a good idea.
You're not buying Popte?
-N-N-N-No!
-I'm not buying it. Send it to my agency.
It's over!
Poptepipic!
You're always supposed to start
with rock in rock-paper-scissors!
But I do paper!
What?
Did I do it?
DID I
I did it!
I found the way to Heaven
My past life with you
You've seen the eyes of Heaven
And endless penitence
I've been in seventh heaven
The conflict only grows
What in the name of heaven
An untenable meaning of life
Look up, baby, it's so dangerous
Double trouble a sarcastic poker face
Look back, baby, it's ridiculous
Like a bubble, life is an ephemeral dream
Why are you feeling?
Forever more
It sounds anti world
Way out, what do you believe?
A mirror formula
Wake up, your brain has stopped
An elegant PSYCHO:LOGY
Way out, what do you see?
Saturated irony
EPISODE 4: "TRAIN BATTLE"
I know. I'll go to Kyoto.
I'll put millions of rocks
as barriers everywhere.
SHINKANSEN STATION
Here, there, rock barriers.
Chomp, chomp, nom, nom, yummy.
Excuse me. Would you mind
if I put the seat down?
Don't do it, kid.
Then, mind if I put you down?
Oh? A frog in a well knows not the sea.
Interesting.
Challenge accepted.
Do I have your mutual consent?
Train battle!
ALER
A train battle
has just been declared in car six.
All passengers in car six,
please change cars at once.
Those who wish to observe, please move
to car two to watch the big screens.
Hey, gramps. You're gonna regret this.
Hmph. I'll teach you some manners.
The train battle
begins now.
Too easy.
Crap, my eyes!
This is it!
Ow! Ow! Ice cream headache!
Damn.
Hey, look, that celebrity,
what's-his-face.
Now!
Both combatants down.
The first to stand wins.
Taking as much damage
as you dealt? Aiming for a draw?
Impossible!
With that much damage?
Look out the window.
Out the window?
D-Doctor XXllow?
They say anyone who sees it
will have fortune. Doctor XXllow.
Looks like the goddess of victory
smiled upon me.
Winner. Popko. Popko.
I lose. You win.
Once upon a time, I used to be
a rash train battler just like you.
Is that an ashtray?
The Shinkansen was the spirit
of the Showa Era Japan,
during the economic boom.
The trains were always full of smoke.
Bloodthirsty salarymen
would fight constantly.
That's when train battling was born.
I was afraid.
The cultural landmarks of the Showa Era
were being erased, one after another,
labeled irrational, immoral,
and inconsiderate.
But I'm glad that a train battler
like you still lives.
Mister
I entrust my dream to you.
The memories of those
who fought in the Showa Era.
Fine, guess I'll do it.
I'll join a dying old man in his dream.
I'm gonna be
Japan's best train battler!
-To be continued.
-No, it won't!
-Why not?
-It won't!
What? No way! It will!
Hey, there's extra time.
Poptepipic.
New Corner Bob Epic Team.
Where am I?
You're a jewel waiting to be polished!
What kind?
I do this and this and this!
See? Just like I thought! Genius!
What kind?
Round one.
Round two.
Semifinals.
Finals.
Champion!
What kind?
Poptepipic!
I didn't win.
Throw it away.
Throw!
It broke.
Throw it away.
Throw!
Something appeared.
Throw it away.
Throw!
Okay, everyone! Good night!
Happens.
Poptepipic.
The long-awaited new corner
Begins now.
Poptepipic B-side.
What the heck?
This is fun!
I'll do it again!
Dang, this is fun!
Hey, Popoka!
You don't bring stuff like that to school!
Got a problem with my Popoka?
See this? A Ben's Knife.
It really is!
Poptepipic B-side.
Poptepipic!
Can you turn left and right
at the same time?
Yeah, that's easy!
So, with everything I got
Like I could do that!
Poptepipic!
I'm an attention whore!
I'm changing
my profile headshot this year.
Like!
I'm an attention whore!
I'm uploading a ton of old selfies!
What now?
Like!
Poptepipic!
I thought up a haiku.
With energy now!
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Shut the hell up, you damn bitch.
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Popko.
My, how terrible.
What a horrendous haiku of low quality.
Pipimi.
Huh?
I feel so stupid.
How could I read it aloud
with such confidence?
Popko.
Now, now, dear, don't cry.
Those streaming tears don't belong
on your lovely face.
Pipimi.
Poptepipic.
Pipiboss! They aren't giving an alibi!
Leave this to me.
MOVE
This is the interrogation room.
Who do you want to call?
-Pop.
-What's up?
You did it, didn't you?
You did it, didn't you?
Boss, you're going too far!
No, you did it, didn't you?
-No, I didn't
-I'll bet it was you!
Please put in an order to stop
the investigation, Pipiboss!
Shut up! The culprit's
THE PORTOPIA SERIAL MURDER CASE
POP TEAM EPIC COLLAB
Poptepipic.
Let's have fun getting
stupid personalities to fight each other!
Sounds fun!
STUPID PERSONALITY FIGHT!
Let's go!
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Let's play a game with our fingers
Using only one finger each
One plus one is two
The two of us together
Friends and peace
Friends and peace, peace, pe-pe-peace
Friends and peace
Friends and peace, peace, pe-pe-peace
Friends and peace
Friends and peace, peace, pe-pe-peace
No cheating on me now
Oh, looks like we can talk now.
Oh, really?
Yeah, looks like it.
Hey, like, the reason they paired
the two of us is XXnter x XXnter, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it.
Yeah, has to be.
This is really well-timed.
-Yeah, it is.
-I think the timing's miraculous.
Isn't it great?
Yeah, I'm glad.
I mean, we do GoXX and KiXXa, right?
Yeah, we do.
Yup, that's right. We do.
I'm pretty sure
they're censoring stuff out,
so I'm just gonna keep talking.
I heard Bkub really
loves HuXXter x HuXXter.
I know. He uploaded a rendition of IXXmi.
Seriously?
Doesn't it make you happy?
Yeah. Speaking of Twitter,
XXXgashi started using it.
Right, right. The timing is incredible.
Poptepipic!
Ouch, ouch!
Cha-cha-cha beam! It's a beam!
Did I do it? Hey!
DID I
I did it!
I found the way to Heaven
My past life with you
You've seen the eyes of Heaven
And endless penitence
I've been in seventh heaven
The conflict only grows
What in the name of heaven
An untenable meaning of life
Look up, baby, it's so dangerous
Double trouble a sarcastic poker face
Look back, baby, it's ridiculous
Like a bubble, life is an ephemeral dream
Why are you feeling?
Forever more
It sounds anti world
Way out, what do you believe?
A mirror formula
Wake up, your brain has stopped
An elegant PSYCHO:LOGY
Way out, what do you see?
Saturated irony
EPISODE 4: "TRAIN BATTLE"
I'm so bored.
I know. I'll go to Kyoto.
I'll buy millions of rock barriers.
SHINKANSEN STATION
Excuse me. Would you mind
if I put the seat down?
Don't do it, kid.
Then, mind if I put you down?
Oh? A frog in a well knows not the sea.
Interesting.
Challenge accepted.
Do I have your mutual consent?
Train battle!
ALER
A train battle
has just been declared in car six.
All passengers in car six,
please change cars at once.
Those who wish to observe, please move
to car two to watch the big screens.
Hey, gramps. You're gonna regret this.
I'll teach you some manners.
The train battle
begins now.
Too easy.
My eyes!
This is it!
Ugh, they're so hard!
Hey, look, that celebrity,
bald-bald-bald what's-his-face.
Now!
You know the one I mean!
Both combatants down.
The first to stand wins.
Taking as much damage
as you dealt? Aiming for a draw?
Impossible!
With that much damage?
Look out the window.
Out the window?
D-Doctor xxllow?
They say anyone who sees it
will have fortune. Doctor xxllow.
Looks like the goddess of victory
smiled upon me.
Winner. Popko. Popko.
I lose. You win.
Once upon a time, I used to be
a rash train battler just like you.
That's a tray for ashes. An ashtray.
The Shinkansen was the spirit
of the Showa Era Japan,
during the economic boom.
The trains were always full of smoke.
Bloodthirsty salarymen
would fight constantly.
That's when train battling was born.
I was afraid.
The cultural landmarks of the Showa Era
were being erased, one after another,
labeled irrational, immoral,
and inconsiderate.
But I'm glad that a train battler
like you still lives.
What are you trying to say?
I entrust my dream to you.
The memories of those
who fought in the Showa Era.
Fine, guess I'll do it.
I'll join a dying old man in his dream.
I'm gonna be
Japan's best train battler!
Poptepipic!
New Corner Bob Epic Team.
Where am I?
You're a jewel waiting to be polished!
What kind?
I do this and this and this!
See? Just like I thought! Genius!
What kind?
Round one.
Round two.
Semifinals.
Finals.
Champion!
What kind?
Poptepipic.
I didn't win.
Throw it away.
Throw!
It broke.
Throw it away.
Throw!
Something appeared.
Throw it away.
Throw!
How did this happen?
-I'm all holey.
-Yeah.
The long-awaited new corner
Begins now.
Poptepipic B-side.
Like a good boy.
Oh my!
Yes, yes. One more time.
Hey, Popoka!
You don't bring stuff like that to school!
C'mere.
Poptepipic B-side.
Poptepipic.
Can you turn left and right
at the same time?
Yeah, that's easy!
I did it!
You mean, "Like I could do that!"
I'm an attention whore!
I'm taking the TOEIC!
Like.
I'm an attention whore!
I went for some afternoon tea.
Like.
Say it right.
Okay! I thought up a five-seven-five poem.
With energy now!
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Shut the hell up, you bitch.
Shut the hell up, bitch.
Popko.
My, how terrible.
What a horrendous haiku of low quality.
Pipimi.
Huh?
I feel so stupid.
How could I read it aloud
with such confidence?
Popko.
Now, now, dear, don't cry.
Those streaming tears don't belong
on your lovely face.
Pipimi.
Poptepipic.
Pipiboss! They aren't giving an alibi!
Leave this to me.
MOVE
This is the interrogation room.
Who do you want to call?
Pop.
You did it, didn't you?
You did it, didn't you?
Boss, you're going too far!
No, you did it, didn't you?
I'll bet it was you!
No, I didn't
Please put in an order
to stop the investigation, Pipiboss!
Shut up! The culprit's
THE PORTOPIA SERIAL MURDER CASE
POP TEAM EPIC COLLAB
Poptepipic! A pi!
Let's have fun getting
stupid personalities to fight each other!
Sounds fun!
STUPID PERSONALITY FIGHT!
Let's go!
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Schmurk.
Schqurk.
Okay! I thought up a five-seven-five
Shut up, bitch.
-Come on.
-Shut the hell up, you damn bitch.
Shut up, bitch.
Hold on.
Popko.
We talked over each other just now.
Crap, crap.
I feel so stupid.
How could I read it aloud
with such confidence?
Man, this take's over.
Let's try that again.
One more time.
Thanks so much for buying Poptepipic.
Hold on. There are
people streaming it too.
And anyway, is there anyone
who'd actually buy it?
Wouldn't it be better if they
bought insert thing here instead?
Pop, what's insert thing here?
I mean, insert thing here is more
insert descriptor here, it's better.
I don't get what you're saying.
Insert what?
Oh, right. And right now,
they come with, uh roasted potatoes.
I don't know what that is!
Pipimi, what are you gonna buy
with the money to buy Popte S2?
Right now, I'd start
a tax-exempt retirement account.
A taxonomy of recliner bros.
Sounds like a good idea.
You're not buying Popte?
-N-N-N-No!
-I'm not buying it. Send it to my agency.
It's over!