Porn and Ice Cream (2022) s02e04 Episode Script

1
Maybe I'll grow my bangs out.
Part my hair down the middle.
Though it might look weird
when it grows out more
Yeah, it is weird.
-You're not listening to me.
-I'm posting a story.
I'm posting a story.
How long does it take to post a story?
You scared me! What's up?
One of the worst storms
in history is coming.
I've never seen
the knick-knack turn this color.
What? Ramón, the sun is blazing.
Besides, my bangs are important
because I'm the face of the band.
Pablo, you always want to be
the center of attention.
Me, the center of attention? No way.
It's a movie I told you,
it's going to rain.
It's coming down.
This would make a good story.
Will you pay attention?
Should we go get passengers, Pereyra?
No, not yet.
Not yet.
The sky looks weird.
First the story, now the sky.
Will you stop arguing
and check what's going on?
It's just cloudy, what about it?
It's happening.
Not yet.
-It's really coming down.
-Hard.
Now!
Close it.
Don't go out there. It's a mess.
It's hailing really hard.
Red alert due to hail.
Please do not leave your homes.
As recommended by the
What? No!
Harry, no!
We have to rescue him!
Relax, he'll be okay.
I'll go.
He's insane.
He beat me to it, I was about to go.
You're okay, Harry.
Graciela, bring some vodka.
Tony, go get some cola.
Ceci, bring alcohol.
-They're bringing vodka, Pablo.
-That's great.
Give me the vodka. Drink a little, Harry.
Come on, come on.
That's it, slowly.
-What happened?
-You hurt yourself, Harry.
But we rescued you.
-Let's get him sitting.
-Come on.
That's it.
Come this way.
Come on, over here.
Pablo, stop.
-I'll carry him.
-All right. I was about to say that.
-Okay.
-Come on, sit here.
-That's it.
-Sit here.
Thanks, girls. It's all under control.
What's with this rain?
An unprecedented storm.
How long will it last?
It will last days, maybe weeks.
I don't think it's so bad.
Yes, it's extremely bad.
Is it only in Buenos Aires?
No, it's in Buenos Aires
and the surrounding metropolitan area.
I'm getting reports
that it has also reached Hurlingham.
Quite the pronunciation.
I don't know what's so funny.
Not sure how you pronounce it,
but the correct pronunciation
is Hurlingham.
Marita just said it.
I'll repeat with your accent, Mari.
Hurlingham.
The power went out.
If we have to stay in here,
we should drink all the booze.
First person to touch my booze
gets a beating.
PORN AND ICE CREAM
Those cutlet sandwiches over there
Potatoes There's 36 pounds here.
"Rummy" or "Closed due to hail"
and a funny emoji?
I don't know, Ceci.
Guys, I need you to listen for a bit.
Graciela and I did an inventory
of what we've got here.
I don't know how long we'll be inside,
so it's best
if we ration our food a bit, okay?
What's in this fridge?
Hey, don't.
Three pastries, one cutlet sandwich,
some cheese, potato chips,
half a sweet potato jam pie,
one tuna empanada
and 36 pounds of potatoes.
I think the empanada is running away.
It was a few days old.
Few months.
How naive.
They embark on a futile effort
when the die is already cast.
The end of the world is here.
There is no escape.
To call a spade a spade.
Cards are on the table.
I'm gonna ask you to put anything edible,
drinkable or smokable here.
So we can divide them in equal parts.
I'm leaving my tobacco.
Guys, your smokes.
No way.
Hands off the smokes, champ.
Listen to me.
We don't know how long we'll be inside.
Everyone's got something to give.
We're talking about our survival here.
What about down below?
What a violent anti-smoking campaign.
And homophobic.
Those are taxi driver smokes.
I think it's very authoritative
to ask for our private property.
I mean, my stuff is mine.
My stuff is mine!
Pablo, you didn't give anything.
I'll need your cell phones, too.
Huh? No way! This is my private property.
My stuff is mine!
My stuff is mine!
Graciela will pick them up.
Use airplane mode.
We need to preserve power
to use them as lights during the night.
-Give it here, kid.
-I'm posting a story.
-What should I write?
-I'll help, here.
Envido.
Some whisky, Harry? It's on the house.
Thanks, Grace.
But this storm is a sign to stop drinking.
Look at Harry.
Ramón.
Ramón.
Ramón, here, look at me.
Here.
Yes, Ramón, it's me.
I've got a little secret
Something quite bizarre
My info is spectacular
Come a bit closer
Pay attention, dear
What I've got to share with you
Is huge news
Huge news
Huge news
We're all gonna die
It's the real deal
No one will escape this storm's wild zeal
We're all gonna die
It's the real deal
No one will escape this storm's wild zeal
Knick-knack from Mar del Plata
Knick-knack from Mar del Plata
I'm the knick-knack from Mar del Plata
I'm the knick-knack from Mar del Plata
No! Stop singing,
knick-knack from Mar del Plata!
Guys!
Five minutes of phone time,
a smoke, then let's eat this sandwich.
-Okay.
-Easy, one at a time.
-All right.
-Don't take two pieces.
-Careful.
-One piece.
I have no messages.
That egg isn't yours!
There's one left, I counted them.
Can I bum a smoke?
Yeah. I didn't know you smoked.
Sure I do. I'm a fan of tobacco.
-These are mild.
-Yeah?
Yeah, they're mild.
It's a shame Nacho
won't let us smoke more.
Yeah, but it's for the common good.
We've gotta survive.
Common good? It's communism.
How could he limit cigarettes?
Is he insane?
You know what? You're right!
What does he care how much I smoke?
Where is our freedom?
Guys, the five minutes are over.
Tony will go around
taking back the phones, okay?
Five minutes? What a bastard.
I already gave you mine.
Stop looking at my boobs!
Graciela, tell me something. Anything.
-What do you mean?
-Content! Give me content.
I know.
Because of all this humidity,
a crack appeared in the wall.
I'll have to plaster over it.
That's what you call content?
I know,
I'll tell you something you'll like.
Twenty years ago,
during a hailstorm like this one,
I had an affair with Pereyra.
-What? I love it.
-Okay, okay.
What happens during the storm
stays in the storm.
I totally ship that couple.
Hashtag-unexpected.
Team hail, all the way!
When there's hail
But there's romance
He's a taxi driver
But you save on travel fares
I'd rather lose a leg.
-No!
-Graciela.
I've got a good one.
Would you rather not be able to bend
your elbows or your knees?
That's a tough one.
I'd prefer to bend my knees.
And how would you eat?
You couldn't eat!
What's better, an empanada
filled with hairs or boogers?
Boogers.
-You still hungry?
-Yeah, a bit.
That's what communism is like.
Ceci gets the same portion as you
despite being half your size.
I'm not giving you my food.
Take my portion.
-No, it's fine.
-Take it.
I want everyone to be happy.
Unlike Nacho, who's a dictator.
The crack is spreading.
What's better? Taking too many taxi trips
one after the other,
so you end up
pissing in a bottle discreetly
because there's a passenger in the back,
and then you get distracted,
make a mistake, grab the bottle
and drink it like it was apple juice?
-That's gross, Harry.
-No.
That's not how the game works, Harry.
It's question, it's fine.
-And it happened to me!
-Yeah, we could tell. Gross.
What's better?
Drowning or burning alive?
Neither?
Can't you tell?
This storm is caused by global warming.
If our cars keep emitting
the same amount of carbon dioxide,
if we keep eating fruit out of season,
buying new clothes
just to toss it out in two months,
traveling by plane,
breeding cows that burp methane,
we'll be dead in a few years.
So what do you prefer?
Drowning? Or burning alive?
There's always been storms.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
Hey, I know
we're all a bit anxious, nervous,
afraid.
Thankfully, we have music
to remind us that together,
we can overcome anything.
Although some doors close
Even if I don't feel well
Is he playing Lerner?
Yeah.
Cecilia, Pablo wants to speak with you.
-Tell him to come.
-No. You have to go.
I know I'll be standing
Thanks for coming, Cecilia.
I can't see your face, Pablo. Get closer.
Nacho's tenure is coming to an end.
We want you to be part of the change.
What change, Pablo?
You just wanna be the center of attention.
What do you need
in order to back me as the new leader?
Leader of what? I don't need anything.
We all have a price.
These plastic napkins
just spread ketchup around
instead of cleaning it.
That's true.
I should do stand-up.
All right. We'll give you a cell phone.
Nice.
And we'll also need
your noise-cancelling headphones.
My headphones?
Yes, your headphones.
Okay.
Come on.
Does it have Snake?
Humanity is so marvelous.
Even with death nipping at their heels,
they still have
enough energy to manipulate,
betray, negotiate.
Deny it!
You poor fools.
But it's clear that this storm
will smite on us all sooner or later.
Ramón, what do you want?
Oh, a latte.
Granted.
More milk than coffee.
It gives me heartburn.
May dreams bring work
And work brings dignity
Nacho is mean.
He won't let us eat what we want.
The past that has gone
What remains is the present
You must take back what you said.
To be well
Nacho is very mean. He's so mean.
I like the skin of a lady
I want everyone to live freely.
What remains is the present
To be well
Bravo!
Bravo!
What happened?
Freedom won!
-But, girls
-We were hungry, Nacho.
Okay.
If that's what the majority wants.
Grace, can I have a macchiato?
-Got a smoke, Beto?
-There aren't any.
-What do you mean?
-They're gone.
-I thought there were more.
-What do you mean?
No! My phone just died! Can I borrow one?
Mine's also dead.
Pablo, give me your phone.
Mine died a few hours ago.
Pablo, there's no more paper!
-What do you want me to do?
-What's that?
Someone's smoking there.
You fucking traitor!
Give me those cigarettes!
-It was just one!
-Give it, Harry!
-Give it!
-Wait.
-Give me the smokes, traitor!
-No.
Pablo, do something.
-What should I do?
-What was your plan?
To be free! I don't have a plan.
This is a disaster!
-There's no more food!
-It's his fault!
Yeah, we should kick his ass.
No, wait!
Everyone wanted to eat.
This was a dictatorship!
We couldn't eat our own food.
You smoked!
You smoked all you wanted, right?
Everyone wanted to consume something.
Why is it my fault?
You all wanted it! It was a dictatorship!
I just wanted some attention.
You were all listening to Nacho.
You were paying attention to Nacho
and not me.
I wanted some attention.
You know how that feels?
The definition of cringe.
I'm a narcissist!
I'm a narcissist!
-Don't cry!
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
-Don't cry.
Sorry.
Enough, get up.
That's enough. Let's solve the food issue.
-Who lives nearby?
-I'm seven blocks away.
That's a bit far. Anyone closer?
I live across the street.
And I have frozen empanadas.
What kind?
-Creamed corn.
-That's fucking awful.
And meat.
I'll go get them.
No, no, Nacho, it's very dangerous.
Pablo could come with you.
Yes. You should go.
It's too dangerous.
Shall we?
The crack is fixed.
Yes! It just needs some paint.
Are you ready?
Ready? Go!
Come on!
Let's go!
Look out!
Come on, Pablo!
Nice storm we've got going on!
You guys got a cigarette?
-We don't smoke, Joaquín.
-Nevermind.
-Do you have anything to eat?
-No. I'll make do with maté.
-Because we have some
-No.
What's up?
I was gonna ask you that.
What's your problem with me, Pablo?
What? Nothing.
No, I feel like you disagree
with everything I do.
There's no problem. Let's go.
Come on, Pablo.
All right, I don't like you.
Okay. Can I ask why?
Did I do something to you?
It's because you're doing so well.
You're a better musician than me.
People like you more.
You're slightly more handsome than me.
Taller. I don't know, it's unfair.
Pablo, it's tough to be me.
I bust my ass off.
I wake up every day at 6:00 a.m.,
go jogging, hit the gym.
I do yoga, Pilates.
I keep a strict diet.
I can't have female friends!
They fall in love!
You're gonna make me cry.
Okay. Look.
If there's anything I can do
to make things better, let me know.
No, there's nothing.
Because you'll always be better than me.
Yeah, maybe.
-So
-Wait.
I've got an idea.
-Can anyone see anything?
-No, nothing.
Yes! Here they come!
-What happened?
-I almost died.
Pablo saved me.
You should've seen it.
We were crossing the street
when lightning split a tree,
and it collapsed on me.
And Pablo came out of nowhere,
and with unbelievable strength,
he lifted the tree
and saved my life.
Grace, I took a champagne bottle
to celebrate.
Didn't you say you'd use the storm
as an excuse to quit drinking?
Yeah, but look at what happened to Nacho.
You only live once.
Amazing!
Oh, and
And then he made a tourniquet
with a piece of his shirt
to stop the bleeding. He's a genius.
Speech! Speech!
No, come on.
Speech! Speech!
No, guys, don't
Wait, okay, I'll say a few words.
Sometimes,
life places obstacles in your way
and your first instinct is to shrink back.
But there's a force
I don't know how to call it
Something inexplicable
that takes hold of you.
Like a mother lifting a 100-ton car
because her son is underneath.
I feel like,
under my tough, rugged exterior,
I am that mother.
And you guys are like my children
As you can see, the storm is over
and you can return home.
Great!
You managed to be the center of attention
for a few minutes in the end, Pablo.
Yeah, maybe.
Until the next hailstorm.
Knick-knack,
you told me the world was ending!
Sorry, I messed up!