Sexify (2021) s02e04 Episode Script

1
We had a meeting yesterday
with the people who run Sexiguy.
You stupid bastard!
You stole our idea, pathetic thieves!
You haven't got any original thoughts!
You are disgusting!
- You're disgusting!
- Awful and disgusting!
It was a very productive talk
that we were able to have with them,
and, well, we were able to explain
our rationale to them.
And we also took the chance
to hear them out.
- What did I steal from you?
- You be quiet!
- We're at my place. I'll say what I want!
- Be quiet! Be quiet!
The craziest thing is it turned out
that the creators of Sexiguy
are actually good old friends of ours.
We have a long history with the creators.
You have a sex app for girls.
We have one for guys.
I don't see a problem here.
Uh, sorry to say it,
but what do you know about sex, morons?
You think she knows anything?
Yes. She does.
Natalia has a boyfriend
that she screws every day. Tell them!
Yes! Every day we screw.
Ultimately, we weren't able
to come to an agreement with them.
However, I've been conducting research,
and we can assure you
that we're handling the situation.
Just please take down your awful app now!
Over my dead body.
Because we won't do that! Huh!
Okay, no problem.
What What are you
In our personal opinion we feel
that the product Sexiguy is primitive
and should be disregarded.
There is no real competition.
Why don't I tell you what I think?
A product appears,
and one in direct competition with ours,
and it manages to achieve decent results
without any capital or PR.
Yeah, although their product is
Which means that now we have to move
the launch of our app forward.
Before Sexiguy monopolizes the territory.
I expect you to have it finished
for the Warsaw Web Summit.
- That's in two weeks though.
- No.
It's in 12 days.
All right, ladies. Get to work.
And that grout in the bathroom.
I didn't want to tell you, sweetie,
so you wouldn't stress about it,
but unfortunately,
they're a quarter of an inch too short.
Those are just the facts.
I know you didn't come out here
because of grout.
You're right, I
I didn't think
to bring a palette knife with me
because who would've known
that anyone could do
such a lousy job on grout?
You came here to cheat on Mom.
That isn't true.
I was on a dating app,
and I saw you on there.
"Zygmunt, 55 years old,
former teacher, now retired."
"I'm interested in air shows
and mushrooms."
For real?
I didn't cheat on your mother.
Oh. No one went for the mushrooms?
Your mom is the one who's cheating.
With Pawluszkiewicz.
With whom?
Remember the Matczaks who owned a wringer?
Sure.
Pawluszkiewicz is Mrs. Matczak's brother.
No.
No, no, no. That's impossible.
It's all right, sweetie. It's okay.
It's just that
your mom felt she needed something new.
I guess you would understand that.
Hiya, Zygmunt.
Good morning, girls.
What are we eating?
Mmm.
- Pancakes.
- Ah!
Here you go.
That's good!
The whole thing is just impossible.
How will I ever design an app on my own
in just a few days?
We'll crunch hard on this,
and we'll get there.
Sorry, we'll crunch for what?
We don't even know
what this app is supposed to do yet.
But Paulina does. She's been researching.
Oh! There she is now.
Our sex oracle.
Tell her that you played in Ibiza.
Actually, say Cancún.
Old ladies are impressed
by stuff like that.
Tell her you play lots of raves.
Or better Breakbeats.
Anyway, in the end,
they'll just want you to play ABBA.
Thanks a lot.
How's it going?
And you are?
We're the DJs for your party tonight.
I requested girls.
Excuse me?
I asked for female DJs.
Goodbye, gentlemen.
You know, I played in Cancún.
I already said "Goodbye."
Goodbye then.
It's too soon. They won't make it.
You have got to have more faith in them,
Maks.
That's what I pay you for.
Why does it have to be
the Warsaw Web Summit?
If we could give it another week or two.
I enjoy the event.
I have a fondness for it.
Oh, cheer up, Maks.
Today is my birthday.
And I have a feeling they've got a plan.
Well, now it's official.
We're definitely fucked.
No conclusions? How is it possible
that you have no conclusions?
It's just it's harder than I realized.
What's harder than you realized?
Having sex?
No.
Talking about sex.
Can you tell me a little bit
about your erogenous zones?
With men.
- And besides, I'm not really feeling it.
- Wait, what is it you aren't feeling?
Sex, conversation, or this company?
Because I'm lost.
Wait, you feel lost? Impossible.
Oh. Very funny, Paulina.
Once again, you had one job.
One. And you still managed to fuck it up.
Calm down.
Okay, Paulina,
let's just diagnose the problem again.
The problem is that guys like having sex,
but they won't talk about it.
Is Adam any different?
- Adam
- You were supposed to get him involved.
Let's not blame Natalia.
One Adam is not enough.
We wouldn't be doing an app for guys
if it weren't for you.
Because you wanted to shine.
- Wait, because I wanted to shine?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry, but have you ever considered
that maybe your management
is the reason why we're here?
We really did get backed into a corner.
She's right.
Natalia programs.
I
was at least trying something.
It didn't work out, but I tried.
You spend all our money.
You're good at that.
- Do you both feel that way?
- Mm-hmm.
Huh. Good to know
how your friends see you.
CAN WE MEET?
MARIUSZ: DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?
YES.
Hello.
Hi, where are you?
On the way back. Why?
Oh, no reason.
Just here waiting for you.
Actually, you know what?
LOOKSY EXTREME
NEW GEL FOR MEN
I have to go somewhere first.
Uh, right now?
You have three minutes.
We're doing serious business here.
STAR GARAGE
Well?
I know you don't like me.
No, I don't.
I also know you wish the worst for Sexify.
I hope that it falls on its face.
But I didn't come here
to talk with you about the company.
I want to talk about sex with you.
Sorry, sex?
With me?
Yes, with you.
Well, um, you surprised me.
Well, I've got a feeling
I can get through to you.
All right then.
Go ahead. You've got four minutes.
If there is one thing that I've learned
in these last few weeks, it's that
sex is definitely not
just a simple issue for men.
Well, let's suppose you're right.
Then we have to do everything we can
for them to make it easier, not harder.
Yeah, I agree.
- What are you suggesting?
- I think you know what I'm suggesting.
I'd like to hear you say it.
What I want is for your misogynistic,
toxic, awful, and disgusting app
to be shut down forever.
You've gotta be kidding!
And don't do it for me
or for Sexify. Do it for other guys.
Do it for yourself.
Do it for Grześ.
Something for Grześ?
Is my kebab here?
All right, listen you, you,
you impertinent witch!
I think it's high time
you to start understanding
that you can't handle your life
and business,
not because the world is evil,
but because you're really not as cool
as you think you are.
And if I ever see you here again,
I'll call the police.
You're finished!
You hear me?
And instead of saving the world,
you'd better go see your man
because it's clear you need a good fuck!
MAKS: MONIKA, I TRIED.
BUT YOU HAVE TO TALK
TO MAŁGORZATA YOURSELF
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Pass it here!
Over here. Over here!
Pass it, man. Pass it!
Go, go, go!
This way.
Pass it here.
No, it's mine.
Thanks. You are looking great too.
Thank you.
Is that a new haircut?
- No.
- Uh-huh.
Um
Um, sorry, it's just I guess
I had forgotten how pretty you really are.
Okay. So, um, what's up?
What's going on?
Well, I was wondering if you would
put me up for a night.
Uh-huh
Um
Okay, um, could we take a walk first?
Mmm.
Fine Arts Academy.
I always thought the notes you left
on the fridge were real pieces of art.
The notes that said, "Take out the trash"?
Yes.
I'd say it was its own sort of art.
I'm really glad
you've found your way though.
That's really very cool.
You know, I feel like
- We're just talking about me.
- Uh-huh.
How's it going? You have someone?
Mmm, yeah, I guess you could say that.
Do I know her?
You do.
Him.
Balcarzak?
The one from the kayaking trips, right?
No, not Balcarzak.
Jesus Christ.
And so you understand
why putting you up for a night would be
kinda hard to do.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Everything all right?
Um.
I just need some water.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
You have to postpone the deadline for us.
I can't do that.
Well, we need a bit more time.
There is no more time.
Listen, some complications arose,
pretty serious ones.
I still believe you all can do it. Do you?
Monika,
if you don't believe in this project,
I'll gladly buy out the company.
I'll make a generous offer!
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
Monika, I'm really trying to help you out.
Right.
So that's why you told her about Sexiguy.
Thank you.
That was really a great help for me.
Well, what choice did I have?
Oh wow.
I've never seen you look this beautiful.
Are you ready?
Wow.
Well
Now I also feel this was dumb.
Pills for erections?
Do you really find me that unattractive?
Why do you automatically think
it's about you?
Because I have a 25-year-old boyfriend
that needs a pill,
so he can have sex with me.
- What else am I supposed to think?
- What I think.
That maybe if finally we do it
for the first time
then after that it will get easier.
I know my hymen isn't attractive.
You don't have to tell me that.
- That's not what this is about.
- What then?
That our relationship lately
has only been focusing on my erection?
Or, to be clear, the lack of it.
But we haven't even talked about it,
have we?
Exactly.
Natalia,
I feel like you're always at work.
You're not really in this relationship.
You're only at work and only work.
Except the problem is
that you'll always be doing great things.
Because the fact of it is, Natalia,
I think you're a genius,
and everyone else has to wait for you.
Except in the end,
you don't give a shit about anyone.
If everything goes well in five years,
then I'll conduct my first mass.
Can you move your feet?
A bit more.
Will you be there?
All break-up self-help books say
not to attend your ex-boyfriend's mass.
Mariusz.
Yeah?
Are you sure about all of this?
Mm-hmm.
For the first time,
I know what I'd like to do with my life.
And also,
for the first time I don't feel like
I've got someone
who is putting a number on my back
and standing there shouting,
"Go, be awesome."
I don't wanna be awesome.
You know, I envy you.
My calling?
No.
Your confidence.
I want to
CUSTOMIZE YOUR CHARACTER
- What are you doing here, miss?
- I don't really know.
NATALIA: OFFICE NOW! URGENT!
When you said we're going to your place,
I expected an apartment.
This is where I live.
Hmm.
You did an amazing job.
Actually, I came to the banquet
to make new contacts.
Hey, your launch delayed.
What happened with that?
You sure everything's alright?
Yeah, never better.
So then you're not trying
to fuck your problems away again?
You know what?
You have to go now.
I need a pass card.
Oh, yeah.
- See ya.
- Bye.
Hey.
This is the solution to all our problems.
Anal?
I'll just say,
I was once in a relationship
where I tried to solve my problems
with anal.
It didn't work out.
Though I can't say I regret it.
No, it's not about anal.
Or any of these other words.
It's about the fact that guys
never want to talk about their problems.
Not with us or anyone else.
However, they use technology
and tell it everything.
What they enjoy. What their fantasies are.
Because they feel anonymous.
Uh, real cool. However, there's about 12
No, 11 days until launch.
I feel like it's a little late
to create a database of guys
who will answer our questions anonymously.
That's the best part of it.
It already exists.
Where?
IT MEANS YOURS IS TINY
No!
There's no way in hell
I refuse to be dealing with those cavemen.
Their product is reprehensible.
That's a fact.
Of course, it's also true
that if we manage
to get access into their database,
and then ask our questions
to the guys interested in sex,
you follow me?
Because then we'd be able
to improve our product.
Mm-hmm.
How are you going to convince Creep
to create a better product for you?
He likes to
"show the mare what he's got there."
Uh, well,
we won't be able to convince him.
We'll have to buy Sexiguy.
We have no money!
Everything went into debts.
I'll get the money for us.
Because unfortunately,
her idea is a good one.
Hate to say it.
Unfortunately,
my curse is that my ideas are good.
And unfortunately,
Creep will make money off it.
So, before I get us the money,
I have to be sure
that we're in this together. All of us.
Super.
There's just one other little problem.
My baby! Please don't!
First of all, let us begin
by offering you kebabs.
You got sauce on that?
Of course we do, Grześ.
I'd like to remind you
that the reason we are meeting with you
is so we can discuss how you'll take care
of the state of our office
caused by a representative for Sexify.
Of course, Rafał, we'll get to that.
And before we do,
we would like to discuss your project.
We all believe that your app is
We know, harmful, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Neither of us care what you think.
What he said.
We all believe
that your app is a genius design.
Oh, that's nice.
That means a lot to us. Thank you.
- What are you playing at?
- We're not playing.
We just want to buy
the visionary work you've made, Sexiguy.
Just name your price.
Okay, we accept it.
All right.
But that's just installment one.
Okay, installment one then.
One of how many then?
Mmm. Three!
And a half.
Okay, three and a half times that number.
Actually, no.
I changed my mind.
Really, Rafał, think it over.
That's a lot of money.
I don't want any of you
making money off of my misery again.
Find a new business.
I've got a feeling
that we can work this out.
We'll throw in reimbursement
for the garage damages
and a heartfelt apology
that Natalia would like to say.
I'm really sorry.
You're sorry? Why are you sorry?
I'm sorry for what I did to your garage.
And?
And what?
And for sending me
all of those false signals
- that you wanted to get with me at school.
- What?!
I never sent any signals to you
other than maybe one to get lost!
Negotiation finished!
We have nothing else to say!
All right.
I'm sorry.
For the sex signals.
There.
Look at that! Unity pays off.
- Feels like I'll throw up.
- Mm-hmm.
Then we've got a deal.
Deal.
SALE OF SHARES AGREEMEN
There's just one other request.
Um, well you did say
we needed more programmers
to be ready for the Web Summit.
All right,
who are you borrowing the money from,
Tell us.
Don't worry about that.
A sandwich?
MRS. SANDWICH
We definitely need a bigger team.
SEND TO ALL
NEW MESSAGE FROM SEXIGUY
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO IMPROVE IN YOUR SEX LIFE?