Slings and Arrows s02e04 Episode Script
Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair
Oliver: What do you think? (gasps) ah christ, oliver! You just scared the shit out of me! Well, that's the desired effect, isn't it? The ghost of banquo should be terrifying.
Please! I need sleep.
Oliver: She kicked you out, eh? Geoffrey: (exasperated sigh) Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
She's getting too old To find crazy people attractive.
(sighs) please shut up and go away.
You'll survive.
Look on the bright side: We're roomies now! We can stay up all night, Eat pizza, play euchre.
Oh god, you're killing me! Why are you so cruel? I'm here for you.
No-one else can say that.
(laughs) You're here for me? Oliver: Metaphysically speaking, yes.
What about yesterday afternoon? You were in danger of making a big mistake.
Geoffrey: I raised a question: Should we perhaps consider humanizing macbeth; Have lady macbeth wash the blood of battle Off of her husband's body.
Oliver: Geoffrey, trust me.
I know this play.
And I know what I'm talking about.
You're a bully, oliver.
You have always been a bully! As soon as someone dares to disagree- (door squeals open) Nahum: Ahhh! Oh.
It's you.
Geoffrey: Yes.
Um Sorry.
I uh I just needed to get away for a few days.
Most people when they go away, They go to a lake.
Geoffrey: Yes, well, um This is my lake.
Okay.
Well, you're up now.
I'll make eggs.
à call me superstitious ô à or cowardly or weak ô à but I'll never play a character ô à whose name one dare not speak ô (crowd laughs) à I'll play hamlet in doublet and hose ô à or either of the dromeos ô à but sorry, I won't play mackers ô à I'll play richard the third with a hump and a wig ô à or henry the eighth that selfish pig ô à but sorry, I don't do mackers ô à every soul that plays this role ô à risks injury or death ô à I'd rather sweep the bloody stage ô à than ever do mac - you know who ô à so gimme king lear, ô à cleopatra, ô à romeo and juliet, it doesn't mattra ô à I'll play them all for free ô à but I'd be crackers to take on mackers ô à you see I'm skittish about the scottish tragedy ô à och aye! à (enthusiastic applause) I want to cancel my booking! Have you people gone out of your minds? Sir, I am happy to refund your tickets.
Fine.
What is the last name? Gilchrist, gavin.
All right.
Pay attention you two! Refunds - god I hope they haven't changed this.
I want you to watch carefully So you can do this on your own.
Here we are.
Two tickets.
$140.
No, that's my personal order.
You can cancel that as well.
I am cancelling my class visit.
I'm from saint michael's in toronto - We have a number of bookings through the season.
Okay, well, you can uh Oh, I didn't Here they are.
Didn't see the rest of the file.
It's a big file - oh my.
You want to cancel all of these? Yes.
It's just a re-branding.
Cancel them! I've changed the syllabus To the study of george bernard shaw.
Anna: Okay.
Well, I'll cancel all the grade 5s through 12s, And the overnight packages.
So you key in code 349, Press enter like that, And there's your refund of $33,540.
(triumphant slap) Got that? Right on.
Sorry, but why are you doing this to me? The computer identified some red flags In your last return.
Red flags? I don't remember any red flags.
You're self employed? Yes.
But you don't have a gst number.
No.
And your claimed business expenses were quite high Considering your reported earnings.
Also, your t-slips didn't match up With the t-slips submitted by your employers.
T-slips? I have no idea what you're saying.
T-slips? T-4s, t-4a's, t-5s Speak english, for god's sake.
Ms.
Fanshaw- Ellen.
Please.
If you haven't done anything wrong, Then you really don't have anything to worry about.
What is that, a threat? Look, I am not like you.
I'm not some soulless bureaucrat, Sitting in an ivory tower, judging everyone.
I'm an actor.
I'm not from your world.
I don't know anything about money.
I plead ignorance, okay? Is there a way I can plead that? Officially, I mean? Do you know anyone Who could help you through this process? An accountant friend? An "accountant friend"? Are you kidding? Is there anyone you normally go to for advice? Geoffrey: And the worst of it is, She's gone over to the dark side - To his side.
Whose side? Henry's.
How can she have gone over to his side When she was on his side to begin with? What are you talking about? She's an actor; he's an actor.
Yeah, but we had a relationship.
Well, doesn't matter.
You're her director.
Worse than that, you're her artistic director.
You're management, that's the ugly truth.
We were living together, oliver.
And that failed, didn't it? You see? You laughed at my video, but I was telling the truth.
It's lonely at the top.
Why do you think I couldn't sustain a relationship? Because you were a bitter sarcastic prick, And you hated everybody.
Yes, but that was only part of it.
Richard: Okay Okay This is good.
It seems pretty bad.
No.
No, it's good, anna.
The campaign is obviously striking a chord.
A bad chord.
No.
No.
It's good.
I expect this.
The campaign is perceived emotionally first, And then is processed by the intellect.
Anna, you can't change the way that someone thinks Without making them feel something first.
No.
No, this is good.
Uh, I have the latest numbers.
(hyperventilating) jesus christ.
Oh, jesus Uh, most of those are group cancellations, Not individuals.
What? I'm supposed to feel better Because they're cancelling en masse? Anna, we're going into previews without an audience.
This is a nightmare! And the workshop What What workshop? Lionel train's workshop.
It starts in a few days.
Okay, anna, look.
You tell me honestly What do you think of the campaign? I don't know, it's Horrible.
Get me sanjay on the phone.
Richard.
Anna, don't lecture me about your human rights.
I've got enough on my plate! Sorry.
Ellen: Yes, I'm a terrible sister.
Yes, I never call.
Well, now I am calling.
I'm being audited And I need your help.
And if you don't help me Then who's the terrible sister, huh? Look, bob's an account- Sorry, ed.
Ed's an accountant.
Couldn't he speak- mmm-meet with me? Please? Oh, thank you.
Look, I've got to go.
Give my love to annie.
Really? Well, kiss both of them for me then.
(dull thud of footsteps) Darren: My main focus in this production Will be to examine the signifiers With regard to gender in this text.
The characters of juliet, Ladies capulet and montague and the nurse for instance, Would have been played, as the law required, By men in shakespeare's time Even though it was quite common for women To play female characters in the european theatre Of the same era.
And so one might ask, why? Was it a misogynistic Or paternally motivated paradigmatic transformation? Having been a misogynist once myself, I'm inclined to answer yes.
And what kind of statement would we be making today If we were to emulate Such a paradigmatic transformation? Exactly.
Now, rest assured, That I'm not interested in answering questions That we are not qualified, in a syntagmatic sense, To answer.
I'm interested, instead, in asking questions For which there is no specific answer.
Okay? What's happening? I have no idea.
Darren: We will be doing a series of exercises Throughout the process That will help us deconstruct the signifiers in the play.
Maria? Please.
The first is a simple commutation test, if you will.
It's meaning will be immediately apparent To anyone with even a passing familiarity With roland barthes.
Geoffrey: Ellen, please.
I'm not late.
Well, actually, you are, But I don't care about that.
I had some personal business I had to take care of.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
It was the audit.
It was horrible and demeaning.
So, you're living in the storage room now? Yes.
How's that working for you? I like it.
It's an easy commute.
Listen, I'm going to say something And I don't want you to get all defensive.
What do you mean by that? Please.
We have to try and keep our personal life Out of rehearsal.
Excuse me? You know what I'm talking about.
You are the one who can't compartmentalize.
You said so yourself, The day you attacked me in your office.
What I am trying to say is We both have to make an effort.
Don't worry about me, geoffrey.
I'm a pro; I'm a professional.
Why is it that I have to justify My existence to everyone: Revenue canada, my sister, and now you? Emily: Ellen, you're late.
I'm going to have to put it in the show report.
I'm not late.
I'm talking to the director.
She's always late, have you noticed? Just for the record, emily, This is a rehearsal.
There is no show report because there is no show.
Oh.
Okay.
Henry: "our fears in banquo stick deep; And in the royalty of his nature reigns That which would be fear'd: 'tis much he dares;" Oh, shit.
Geoffrey, must I stand on this damn thrust at this moment? I mean, don't you think That I should be a little further upstage So that I can meet the murderers When they enter? Oliver: I agree, geoffrey.
He'll have to turn and March back upstage.
That's a good three seconds of his ass to the audience.
Geoffrey? Emily: Geoffrey? Yes, emily? Emily: Do you want to deal with this now Or break first? Oliver: If we don't solve it now Let's break.
Emily: Okay.
Thank you everyone.
Henry: Ellen! Coming for a drink? Ellen: God, I shouldn't.
I've got so much paperwork to do.
Oh, come on, what's the harm? Just a couple - maximum three or four.
Ellen: (laughs) Oliver: Is this how it's going to be? "I'll deal with it later?" Well, we're rapidly running out of "later", geoffrey.
Come on, we can talk about the staging over dinner.
Come on! Sanjay: There was bound to be a backlash, richard.
Richard: I know, but people are really upset.
They are cancelling their subscriptions.
I'm getting terrible, insulting emails.
Excellent.
That means we're having an impact.
People are responding emotionally.
Richard: The numbers are really low.
Sanjay: As expected.
But they will pick up.
Richard, the next few weeks Are going to be very difficult for you If you don't have faith.
You know what you should do? What? Go crazy! I was really hoping you'd say something constructive.
Sanjay: I am.
The train has left the station; There's nothing you can do to stop it, So why bother? Use this time to embrace your right-brain self.
What? You are a very linear, Detail oriented, logical left-brain person.
Embrace your intuitive, illogical, random, Creative self.
Wear different colour socks, Have watermelon for breakfast, play the clarinet.
I don't know how to play the clarinet.
Have you ever tried? No.
Then how do you know? I know I'm not a pilot, Even though I've never flown a plane.
Richard? Richard? You are a prisoner of your own rationality, And it's making you miserable.
You're stunting your own growth, richard.
Set your mind free! What is wrong with you? Nothing.
You know, a broken heart is not a luxury We can afford right now, geoffrey.
No, it's not that.
It's uh I just feel (clears throat) I'm completely cut off from my instincts.
That's all.
You don't need instincts.
You have me! I've done all the work for you.
Just stage my damn play! It's not that simple.
You know, this is incredibly frustrating for me, geoffrey.
I'd direct the play myself, if I could.
I know.
Oliver: But I can't, because I'm dead.
I know.
Oliver: I try.
I shout at the actors, but they can't hear me.
So, I shout at the one person who can hear me, But you don't do anything! I'm sorry.
You know, I'm in hell! This is my hell - Not being able to give notes.
Look, I would like to be able to help you, oliver, but oh What? I just don't like it.
Don't like what? Your play.
I mean, I see it, I understand it, But I don't like it.
I just don't like your play.
Ellen: Thank you for this, ed.
Don't thank me.
Thank your sister, For making me come over here during tax time.
She's a saint, diane, a real saint.
Yeah This couldn't come at a worse time for me.
Well, there's never a good time to be audited.
Ellen: You should see this woman, ed.
She's like a nazi.
She treats me like a criminal.
I don't understand anything she says.
It's this horrible nazi gibberish.
Where are your rrsp statements? That's exactly it.
"where are your rrsp statements?" No, where are they? You contribute through your union; You must have been sent quarterly statements.
I don't know.
God God! Ed: Okay, okay.
Relax.
What can they do to me? Ed: Well, they could deny your claims.
I mean I would.
$900 for lipstick? And if they deny my claims? Then your taxable income goes up.
And? And you have to pay back taxes.
Could I go to jail? I doubt that.
You doubt that? So it's a possibility? Look, I can't say anything until I've gone over this mess.
Jesus, it's going to take awhile.
Ellen: Well, I've got until 10:00, And then I have to go to rehearsal.
Ellen, there's three years worth of material here.
This is going to take days.
Days? Oh, this is a nightmare! What did I do? What did you do? What did you do? You kept shitty records, You probably lied on your returns, You definitely added wrong.
Why me? Ed: Everybody has to pay taxes, ellen.
That's why we have highways, and hospitals and parks- Ellen: I'm not a child, ed.
I know why we have to pay taxes.
Although I don't know why I should have to pay for highways - I don't have a car.
Write that down: "she doesn't have a car.
" Sarah: "wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds And sails upon the bosom of the air.
" "o romeo, romeo! Wherefore art thou romeo?" (laughs) Why are you laughing, sarah? Sarah: I don't know.
This exercise just feels silly.
Patrick, how do you feel playing juliet? It's my fucking fantasy.
(cast laughs) Darren: Sarah, you find it ridiculous Because you are mired down In your own preconceptions of heterosexual love, As was I, pre-berlin.
Okay.
Darren: But patrick understands that gender identity Is more complicated; One might say dynamic.
Definitely.
Okay, but why can't I look at him? You don't feel the power of this blocking; What it's saying about gender and status? Do you feel it? (cast agrees) I find it exciting, very exciting.
Let's try another scene.
I do get to play juliet eventually- (yells) it's an exercise! You know, sarah, One of the most significant productions In the history of this play Involved a female romeo.
Charlotte cushman's so-called "sapphic romeo".
Some people laughed then.
They were victorian, and so could be forgiven.
But you - you live in a post-modern world.
You should know better! Let's move on.
(indistinct chatter) Ellen: I'm so angry I could kill someone.
This is a ridiculous schedule.
Be careful what you say.
Lionel's very sensitive.
If he thinks you don't like the play, He'll change the whole thing.
Anna: Oh, thank you, everyone.
It's uh 10:00.
We're just waiting for our playwright, And then we can begin.
Uh, I'm here.
Oh! Oh, that's so great.
Uh, lionel train everyone.
(polite applause) Anna: Lionel? Do you want to say something Before we begin? Oh uh Yes.
Well, it's heavy.
(polite chuckles) Good morning.
Well uh Some of you may have heard that I have a reputation For uh Floundering around in a mess of my own making.
However, I think that this process will be different.
I've worked and re-worked this material and uh Though it feels strange for me to say this, I like it.
It's a pretty solid first draft.
So, let's just dive right in, shall we? Okay.
Without further ado- Oh.
Oh, yes.
Uh You all know emily.
Emily will be reading the stage directions.
Emily? Emily: "act one scene one.
A farmhouse.
Hilary, a farm wife, Is making a pie at the kitchen table.
" Ellen: I don't understand it, frederick.
Why would he behave that way? Emily: Sorry, I didn't- I didn't read all the directions.
"hilary's voice trembles as she speaks.
" Jerry: I can't expect you to understand.
You didn't grow up with him.
But what was he like as a child? He's so impenetrable.
I can't imagine your brother being young.
It's hard to remember for me, too.
Emily: "frederick looks thoughtfully at hilary.
" Jerry: He was bigger than me.
But more than just older I mean.
All the neighborhood kids treated him, Well not with respect, But differently.
Maybe he was born a man.
Emily: "sound effect: Grandfather clock chimes 6:00.
" 6:00! I hadn't noticed the time- "hilary looks up startled.
" His dinner! You know he won't eat it if it's late.
Emily: "frederick's face clouds over.
" He used to do that with mom.
Drove her mad.
Can I help? "there is a long pause.
" Yes, I was doing that.
Emily: Sorry.
You don't have to read all the stage directions.
Okay.
The adverbs, for example.
Don't read the adverbs.
Don't read them.
If it says, "angrily"? Don't read it.
We can act it.
Lionel: Shit! Ellen: Sorry, lionel.
Let's just go on.
Lionel: No, no, I'm sorry.
It's the uh, the opening.
It's slow.
Well we can Do it without the pauses.
No.
Fast garbage is still garbage.
You know what? We have the time, Why don't I fix it.
Okay? Come back uh Thursday, It'll all be fine.
(emily bursts out crying) Lionel: Lovely read, everyone.
It'll all be fixed - by Thursday.
(sobbing) Somebody slap her.
à à (over blows the clarinet causing loud squeals) Sarah: He doesn't have a clue what he's doing.
(henry tells a joke) Patrick: Maybe we're just not seeing the big picture.
Sarah: What big picture, patrick? He's throwing names around: Meyerhold, kristeva, stein, biomechanics? What do they have to do with each other? What do they have to do with this play? Okay, that's the deal, right? I mean, you do what the director says.
It's his vision.
Well, I hate it.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Patrick, when are we ever gonna get another chance, huh? To play these parts? (sighs) I never thought I'd get a first chance.
That's right.
That's right.
And that's we have to go talk to geoffrey First thing in the morning, Okay? (chuckles) You're really passionate about this, huh? Yeah.
I'm I'm passionate about a lot of things.
So, will you come with me? Auditor: Professional gifts.
Ellen: Yes.
I've listed them there - Very clearly and accurately - right there.
$3,231 dollars worth? That's right.
A professional gift is something You give to a client To promote your business.
I know.
When do you give these presents? At different times, different occasions.
Many of these receipts are from late December.
So? So, these are, in fact, christmas gifts? Yes.
All right, miss marples, yes.
They are christmas gifts.
So christmas is illegal now, is it? You know, I'm not the only one who does this.
There are people at the festival Who are much worse than me - much, much worse.
Who exactly? What? Who is much worse than you? Um Hi.
Can we speak to you for For a minute? Geoffrey: Come on in.
Close that behind you.
I feel really awkward about this.
You're here to complain about darren nichols? How did you know? I've been peeking in on your rehearsals.
Sarah: Well, he's- he's not doing the play.
He's just doing all these exercises.
Patrick: We were kind of hoping That maybe you could coach us - Or something? I mean anything- anything would be Would be something that we're not getting.
(sighs) You know, I appreciate your situation, I do.
But I'm uh I am not in a uh Place right now Where I can be of much help.
Geoffrey, please.
I I love this play.
I've seen it millions of times.
And finally, I get to say these beautiful words, But without character or story, These words are just They're air.
And it's killing me - him, too! It's killing both of us.
The-the both of us.
(sighs) All right, we'll have to keep it secret.
(gasps) we won't tell anyone.
Meet me tomorrow before rehearsal.
Bring some running shoes.
Thank you.
Okay Frank: My son isn't perfect, but who is? Ellen: I'm not blaming you.
Frank: Well you don't have children, So you can't know what it's like.
I suppose I'm to blame.
Ellen: No.
Frank: Well, what's happening to this family? This house is Crumbling around me.
Oh, I see! It's like the house built of straw - In the "three little pigs"? Lionel: Okay.
You know what? Throw away the scripts.
(flustered) no, I-I-I'm not criticizing.
I'm-I'm-I'm Lionel: I know.
I know.
Throw them away.
Emily? Can you get the Okay, this is the problem.
The problem is I don't know who these people are - These characters.
I I-I-I I don't know who they are.
And because of that, I don't trust them.
You people have to bring these characters to life.
Show me who they are.
Yeah, I want you to improvise your lines.
Well, y-y-you know the story, Just- just improvise the dialogue.
But But make it real.
Make me believe you're real.
Go.
My son isn't perfect, but who is? I'm not blaming you.
You don't have any children, So you don't understand.
I suppose I'm to blame.
No.
Lionel: Okay.
Um (laughs) You're just saying the lines.
Frank: I'm sorry, but they're in my head.
I'm-I'm a quick study.
Lionel: Just forget them.
Just get rid of them.
I hate those lines - never want to hear them again.
Okay? Just make the part your own.
Tell the story, but in your own words.
'kay? Go.
Frank: My son has problems, but who doesn't Have problems? It's not your fault That he has problems.
Well you don't have a son Or any sons.
So you don't know what I'm talking about.
Now I suppose you're going to say that uh It's because of me That my son is the way that he is? Not necessarily.
Lionel: Okay.
You're paraphrasing.
That's not what I want you to do.
I want you to tell the story, as written, But in your own words.
That's what paraphrasing is - What you've just said.
Lionel: Okay, look.
It's very simple.
I don't want to hear the words that I wrote Or any variation of those words.
I want you to tell the story - You people - in your own words.
Go.
My son Has things wrong with him, (cast snickers) But having said that, I don't think that having A certain amount of things wrong with you Is entirely out of the ordinary.
Emily? 15 minutes everybody.
(thumps the copy machine) (squeaky wail from richard's clarinet) Anna: I can help you with that.
Thank you.
Uh It's just these pages.
Actually, just page three.
Do you have a shredder? Is it not going well? Well, it's um There are problems with the story On a very, very basic level and The actors are idiots.
Well- that's not fair.
Some of the actors are idiots.
It's not easy Making up a play, from nothing.
I know you're just trying to say something Bland and supportive, But you're exactly right.
It is hard to create something out of nothing.
I mean, that's the dilemma.
And the process - I mean it just takes its toll on me.
I become a horrible person.
I mean just-just horrible to be around.
(takes a cleansing breath) Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Sure.
Henry: "were the graced person of our banquo present; Who may I rather challenge for unkindness-" Here it comes.
Henry: "than pity for mischance!" Frank: "pleas't your highness To grace us with your royal company?" "the table's full!" Frank: "oh, here's a place reserv'd, sir.
" Henry: "where?" Frank: "over here, my lord.
What moves my lord?" (chair scrapes) Henry: "which of you have done this?" (frank stifles a laugh) What is he doing? Henry: "thou canst not say I did it: Never shake thy gory locks at me.
" (stifles laugh) Oliver: Stop them, geoffrey.
For god's sake.
Geoffrey: Okay, let's stop.
(cast laughs openly) Banquo: Sorry.
The cape got stuck under the- (ripping sound) Oh, shit! Jean: Don't move! You're tearing it to pieces! Henry: Well, it looks fantastic.
Have we stopped? Yes! Henry: Geoffrey, do you think we could make it just a- A little bit shorter- No! We'd see the feet.
Banquo: Then you'd see my feet.
Jean: You'd see the feet, geoffrey.
Yes, I realize we'd see his feet, But do you think we could carry on And maybe fix it later? Fix it now! The whole effect will be ruined unless you get it right.
I don't want to spend any more time on this.
Oliver: Geoffrey, the appearance of banquo's ghost is key! Geoffrey: You know, you have turned this entire play Into a parade of special effects.
Oliver: The effects give context for the performances.
Geoffrey: The effects are coming at the expense Of the performances.
I mean look at henry! He's huge! No, he's acting terrified Because he's looking at a scary actor acting scary.
There's nothing emotional to connect with up there! Geoffrey! What?! Ellen: Geoffrey, stop it, please? Stop What? You have no idea how frightening it is To watch you talking to an empty chair.
Thank you everyone.
See you tomorrow.
Oliver: You can't cut the ghost! Geoffrey: I'm cutting the ghost.
You don't know what you're doing.
Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing.
This is not a horror movie.
It's a story about one man's guilt.
It's a story about one man's journey into madness.
You're just trying to make it about you.
And you're trying to make it about you! You can't cut the ghost! Oliver- I won't let you.
Oliver, remember what ellen said.
The real horror is in what we don't see.
The real horror is in our imagination.
If you cut the ghost, I'll quit! Go ahead.
All right! Why are you still here? I'm going! So Go! Uh Is everything all right, geoffrey? Yeah.
Terrific.
Just here, all alone, On my lake.
Ahhh, the lake.
(nervous laugh) I mean, it's all about editing.
Words are cheap, right? You can talk all day Or describe something in excruciating detail, But in the end, you know, that's just What it would be.
What? Excruciating.
Right.
So Tell me about you.
Who are you? Me? I'm nobody.
Oh, come on.
Well, uh I grew up in winkler, manitoba.
That's a town of about 8000 people, Two hours south of winnipeg.
And what do they do in uh Winkler? TheyThey uh, mostly farm.
For fun, what do they do? Oh well, there's a There's an aquatic playground, And there's uh, the harvest festival in August, And the thresherman museum - that's kind of fun.
You get see how they lived in the olden days.
(laughs) wow.
Yeah, I've never met anyone from the prairies before.
Seriously? Lionel: No.
What are they like - Prairie folk? I mean are they real? Are they, you know, real people? Yes, I'd say they were real people.
I don't know any real people.
I mean everyone around me is-is-is Is pretending to be someone they're not.
Well, they're actors.
Right.
But you're not.
No.
(laughs) God, no.
(laughs) I love that About you.
I I love that you're real.
Oh.
Let's get drunk out of our minds.
Okay.
So? How are the kids? They're good.
Noel's finally sleeping through the night now.
And annie told her mother the other day, She wants to be an actress when she grows up.
(laughs) What's so funny about that? Well, it's not exactly the lifestyle choice You'd make for your daughter, is it? You make it sound like prostitution.
Ellen, I'm just Forget it.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
So, what's this for - $120 dollars? Oh.
A bra for work - a work bra.
Nobody sees it.
Okay.
You know, my lifestyle is a bit unusual, I admit that.
But you have no right to judge me.
I'm sorry.
You're like my auditor.
She treats me like a criminal.
You're not a criminal.
It's not a crime to be stupid.
Excuse me? I'm talking about your limited understanding Of your own financial situation; Your inability to add two numbers together.
Shut up, ed! I am not stupid.
I'm just saying- It's bad enough being called a liar by the government; Now I'm being called stupid by a beer swilling clerk? Hey! I'm doing you a favour here.
If insulting someone is your idea of doing a favour, Then you are the idiot, not me.
Nobody who spends $120 on a bra And then tries to claim it, Has the right to call me an idiot.
That bra is a legitimate business expense.
I have to go onstage every night And convince people that I am a strong, sexy woman In control of her life.
And you're saying that a bra- Yes, that's right! The bra helps me to do that.
I need the bra for my job.
It's like office supplies.
Like office supplies.
You think I'm a fake, don't you? Yes.
Well, I think you're a fake.
Really? Yes.
I think that you don't believe for one second In your regular life.
I think you want to have big adventures like me - Poor little me - The prostitute/actress in the $120 bra.
Is that right? Yes, that's right.
(vacuum hums) (laughing) (panting) Geoffrey: Okay, don't wait - Straight into the text.
"how camest thou hither" - go! "how camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, And the place death, considering who thou art, If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
" Geoffrey: No, no, no! You're thinking! Don't think - Instinct! Go! "oh with love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; Huh? For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do that" "what love can do" Geoffrey: That dares- "what love can do that dares love attempt; Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.
" Okay, on the ground.
Two push ups - one each - go! Okay! "if they do see thee, they will murder thee.
" "alack, there lies more peril in thine eye Than twenty of their swords: Look thou but sweet, And I am proof against their enmity.
" Geoffrey: That's good, good.
Keep the breath going.
More text, you guys.
Jump in anywhere.
It's very good.
Sarah: "o gentle romeo, If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay, So thou wilt woo; but else, Not for the world.
" "lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-" "o, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
" Patrick: "what shall I swear by?" Sarah: "do not swear at all; Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, Which is the god of my idolatry, And I'll believe thee.
" Wow, it's just passionate, it's It's really poetic But it's really um Sexual, too.
(giddy laugh) Geoffrey: (laughs) Okay, you two, run around again.
Patrick, you go first.
This time, sarah, you catch up.
Thank you, geoffrey.
No, thank you.
I thought he was gay.
Ellen: Oh, hi, diane, it's ellen.
Is everything good with you? And ed? Good.
No, no.
I-I-I'm just phoning to say I'm sorry.
Sorry for keeping him so late.
No.
Nothing more, just a friendly sorry.
Yeah Okay, well, I've I've got to go to rehearsal so, Sorry again to you, and um Say sorry to the children for me.
Ellen: Oh, anna? Do you have those pay stubs for me? Oh, yes.
Where are they? Gosh, I'm sorry.
I got here a bit late this morning And everything's a bit topsy turvy.
Yeah.
I actually slept in! I had a late evening.
I went to jongs.
The lemon chicken there is really good.
Did you go out with someone? Yes, as a matter of fact.
It's kind of a secret.
I mean, nothing happened yet, but it might And I don't want to jinx it.
It's someone who works here.
I can't tell you who - not richard.
Hmm.
That's great.
Good for you.
Thanks for this.
Ellen? It's okay.
It's okay.
I have another preview tonight.
Oh, it'll be okay.
Yeah, I Yeah.
(somewhat improved sound of clarinet) (clarinet breaks between low and high notes) Richard? Oh, anna, come on in.
I want to show you something.
(begins playing opening notes of "danny boy") "danny boy", right? Yes! It's great.
Really? Considering you've only had it a few days, it's Oh, well, thank you.
Sorry, do you want something? Uh, do you know anything about what's happening in rehearsal? Ellen was here and she's quite upset.
Um I don't know.
It's that time of year, anna.
Come on, it's previews.
Okay.
Well, I'll leave you to your practising.
Richard: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here's the chorus.
(chorus is unrecognizable) Geoffrey: Okay, everybody, Here's the game plan.
We're going to streamline this production, So we can focus more on the acting And less on the effects- Ah, ellen, Not late again.
Now, most of these changes will be subtle, But one big change: We are cutting the ghost of banquo.
Now, I know, henry, that seems drastic, But I think it will help the audience appreciate That macbeth is losing his grip on reality.
I also want to pick up the pace in most scenes, In particular, those scenes involving the two macbeths.
I would like them to be breathless; Feel they are acting impulsively; That they don't have time to think.
And one other thing: Act one scene five.
We're going to return to an old idea.
This is the first time we see mr.
And mrs.
Macbeth alone, And lady macbeth will wash the blood Off her husband's body.
There will be a basin and a rag Up stage left.
Any questions? Henry: (clears his throat) Terrific.
We have a lot to do before preview, So let's get to work.
Maria? Call it.
Maria: All right, everyone, Shall we start with the banquet scene? Sarah: Do you wanna do this again? Mmm, go.
Go again.
Where do you want to go from? Um Um From um "wilt thou be gone.
" Okay.
(guttural yell) "wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day: It was, it was the lark, and not the nightingale, That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear" Ellen: "come, thick night, And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, To cry 'hold, hold!' Great glamis! Worthy cawdor! Greater than both, by the all-hail hereafter! Thy letters have transported me beyond this ignorant present, And I feel now the future in the instant.
" "my dearest love, duncan comes here to-night.
" Ellen: "and when goes hence?" Henry: "to-morrow, as he purposes.
" "nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree: Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.
" "it was the lark, The herald of the morn, no nightingale: Look, love, What envious streaks Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east: Night's candles are burnt out, And jocund day Stands tiptoe On the misty mountain tops.
" Oh god, this is hot.
Audience: (whistles and applause) Oh henry- What are you doing here? Just a quick note before you go.
Yeah, what is it? You're fired.
What? Oh, I think you heard me.
You're fired.
On what basis? Well, I could just say that I don't like you, But that's not really specific enough, And this is all about specifics, isn't it? So the truth is, I don't like you And I don't like your acting.
I don't like the fact that you ignore my direction.
I don't like the fact you play everything To the audience.
I don't like your complete lack of theatrical courage, And I really don't like that you've turned ellen against me, But that's subtext.
In any event, I'm putting jerry in tomorrow night.
You are insane.
Not at this moment.
Your fans await.
(henry pants a little) Audience: (claps and cheers) (clapping and cheering)
Please! I need sleep.
Oliver: She kicked you out, eh? Geoffrey: (exasperated sigh) Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
She's getting too old To find crazy people attractive.
(sighs) please shut up and go away.
You'll survive.
Look on the bright side: We're roomies now! We can stay up all night, Eat pizza, play euchre.
Oh god, you're killing me! Why are you so cruel? I'm here for you.
No-one else can say that.
(laughs) You're here for me? Oliver: Metaphysically speaking, yes.
What about yesterday afternoon? You were in danger of making a big mistake.
Geoffrey: I raised a question: Should we perhaps consider humanizing macbeth; Have lady macbeth wash the blood of battle Off of her husband's body.
Oliver: Geoffrey, trust me.
I know this play.
And I know what I'm talking about.
You're a bully, oliver.
You have always been a bully! As soon as someone dares to disagree- (door squeals open) Nahum: Ahhh! Oh.
It's you.
Geoffrey: Yes.
Um Sorry.
I uh I just needed to get away for a few days.
Most people when they go away, They go to a lake.
Geoffrey: Yes, well, um This is my lake.
Okay.
Well, you're up now.
I'll make eggs.
à call me superstitious ô à or cowardly or weak ô à but I'll never play a character ô à whose name one dare not speak ô (crowd laughs) à I'll play hamlet in doublet and hose ô à or either of the dromeos ô à but sorry, I won't play mackers ô à I'll play richard the third with a hump and a wig ô à or henry the eighth that selfish pig ô à but sorry, I don't do mackers ô à every soul that plays this role ô à risks injury or death ô à I'd rather sweep the bloody stage ô à than ever do mac - you know who ô à so gimme king lear, ô à cleopatra, ô à romeo and juliet, it doesn't mattra ô à I'll play them all for free ô à but I'd be crackers to take on mackers ô à you see I'm skittish about the scottish tragedy ô à och aye! à (enthusiastic applause) I want to cancel my booking! Have you people gone out of your minds? Sir, I am happy to refund your tickets.
Fine.
What is the last name? Gilchrist, gavin.
All right.
Pay attention you two! Refunds - god I hope they haven't changed this.
I want you to watch carefully So you can do this on your own.
Here we are.
Two tickets.
$140.
No, that's my personal order.
You can cancel that as well.
I am cancelling my class visit.
I'm from saint michael's in toronto - We have a number of bookings through the season.
Okay, well, you can uh Oh, I didn't Here they are.
Didn't see the rest of the file.
It's a big file - oh my.
You want to cancel all of these? Yes.
It's just a re-branding.
Cancel them! I've changed the syllabus To the study of george bernard shaw.
Anna: Okay.
Well, I'll cancel all the grade 5s through 12s, And the overnight packages.
So you key in code 349, Press enter like that, And there's your refund of $33,540.
(triumphant slap) Got that? Right on.
Sorry, but why are you doing this to me? The computer identified some red flags In your last return.
Red flags? I don't remember any red flags.
You're self employed? Yes.
But you don't have a gst number.
No.
And your claimed business expenses were quite high Considering your reported earnings.
Also, your t-slips didn't match up With the t-slips submitted by your employers.
T-slips? I have no idea what you're saying.
T-slips? T-4s, t-4a's, t-5s Speak english, for god's sake.
Ms.
Fanshaw- Ellen.
Please.
If you haven't done anything wrong, Then you really don't have anything to worry about.
What is that, a threat? Look, I am not like you.
I'm not some soulless bureaucrat, Sitting in an ivory tower, judging everyone.
I'm an actor.
I'm not from your world.
I don't know anything about money.
I plead ignorance, okay? Is there a way I can plead that? Officially, I mean? Do you know anyone Who could help you through this process? An accountant friend? An "accountant friend"? Are you kidding? Is there anyone you normally go to for advice? Geoffrey: And the worst of it is, She's gone over to the dark side - To his side.
Whose side? Henry's.
How can she have gone over to his side When she was on his side to begin with? What are you talking about? She's an actor; he's an actor.
Yeah, but we had a relationship.
Well, doesn't matter.
You're her director.
Worse than that, you're her artistic director.
You're management, that's the ugly truth.
We were living together, oliver.
And that failed, didn't it? You see? You laughed at my video, but I was telling the truth.
It's lonely at the top.
Why do you think I couldn't sustain a relationship? Because you were a bitter sarcastic prick, And you hated everybody.
Yes, but that was only part of it.
Richard: Okay Okay This is good.
It seems pretty bad.
No.
No, it's good, anna.
The campaign is obviously striking a chord.
A bad chord.
No.
No.
It's good.
I expect this.
The campaign is perceived emotionally first, And then is processed by the intellect.
Anna, you can't change the way that someone thinks Without making them feel something first.
No.
No, this is good.
Uh, I have the latest numbers.
(hyperventilating) jesus christ.
Oh, jesus Uh, most of those are group cancellations, Not individuals.
What? I'm supposed to feel better Because they're cancelling en masse? Anna, we're going into previews without an audience.
This is a nightmare! And the workshop What What workshop? Lionel train's workshop.
It starts in a few days.
Okay, anna, look.
You tell me honestly What do you think of the campaign? I don't know, it's Horrible.
Get me sanjay on the phone.
Richard.
Anna, don't lecture me about your human rights.
I've got enough on my plate! Sorry.
Ellen: Yes, I'm a terrible sister.
Yes, I never call.
Well, now I am calling.
I'm being audited And I need your help.
And if you don't help me Then who's the terrible sister, huh? Look, bob's an account- Sorry, ed.
Ed's an accountant.
Couldn't he speak- mmm-meet with me? Please? Oh, thank you.
Look, I've got to go.
Give my love to annie.
Really? Well, kiss both of them for me then.
(dull thud of footsteps) Darren: My main focus in this production Will be to examine the signifiers With regard to gender in this text.
The characters of juliet, Ladies capulet and montague and the nurse for instance, Would have been played, as the law required, By men in shakespeare's time Even though it was quite common for women To play female characters in the european theatre Of the same era.
And so one might ask, why? Was it a misogynistic Or paternally motivated paradigmatic transformation? Having been a misogynist once myself, I'm inclined to answer yes.
And what kind of statement would we be making today If we were to emulate Such a paradigmatic transformation? Exactly.
Now, rest assured, That I'm not interested in answering questions That we are not qualified, in a syntagmatic sense, To answer.
I'm interested, instead, in asking questions For which there is no specific answer.
Okay? What's happening? I have no idea.
Darren: We will be doing a series of exercises Throughout the process That will help us deconstruct the signifiers in the play.
Maria? Please.
The first is a simple commutation test, if you will.
It's meaning will be immediately apparent To anyone with even a passing familiarity With roland barthes.
Geoffrey: Ellen, please.
I'm not late.
Well, actually, you are, But I don't care about that.
I had some personal business I had to take care of.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
It was the audit.
It was horrible and demeaning.
So, you're living in the storage room now? Yes.
How's that working for you? I like it.
It's an easy commute.
Listen, I'm going to say something And I don't want you to get all defensive.
What do you mean by that? Please.
We have to try and keep our personal life Out of rehearsal.
Excuse me? You know what I'm talking about.
You are the one who can't compartmentalize.
You said so yourself, The day you attacked me in your office.
What I am trying to say is We both have to make an effort.
Don't worry about me, geoffrey.
I'm a pro; I'm a professional.
Why is it that I have to justify My existence to everyone: Revenue canada, my sister, and now you? Emily: Ellen, you're late.
I'm going to have to put it in the show report.
I'm not late.
I'm talking to the director.
She's always late, have you noticed? Just for the record, emily, This is a rehearsal.
There is no show report because there is no show.
Oh.
Okay.
Henry: "our fears in banquo stick deep; And in the royalty of his nature reigns That which would be fear'd: 'tis much he dares;" Oh, shit.
Geoffrey, must I stand on this damn thrust at this moment? I mean, don't you think That I should be a little further upstage So that I can meet the murderers When they enter? Oliver: I agree, geoffrey.
He'll have to turn and March back upstage.
That's a good three seconds of his ass to the audience.
Geoffrey? Emily: Geoffrey? Yes, emily? Emily: Do you want to deal with this now Or break first? Oliver: If we don't solve it now Let's break.
Emily: Okay.
Thank you everyone.
Henry: Ellen! Coming for a drink? Ellen: God, I shouldn't.
I've got so much paperwork to do.
Oh, come on, what's the harm? Just a couple - maximum three or four.
Ellen: (laughs) Oliver: Is this how it's going to be? "I'll deal with it later?" Well, we're rapidly running out of "later", geoffrey.
Come on, we can talk about the staging over dinner.
Come on! Sanjay: There was bound to be a backlash, richard.
Richard: I know, but people are really upset.
They are cancelling their subscriptions.
I'm getting terrible, insulting emails.
Excellent.
That means we're having an impact.
People are responding emotionally.
Richard: The numbers are really low.
Sanjay: As expected.
But they will pick up.
Richard, the next few weeks Are going to be very difficult for you If you don't have faith.
You know what you should do? What? Go crazy! I was really hoping you'd say something constructive.
Sanjay: I am.
The train has left the station; There's nothing you can do to stop it, So why bother? Use this time to embrace your right-brain self.
What? You are a very linear, Detail oriented, logical left-brain person.
Embrace your intuitive, illogical, random, Creative self.
Wear different colour socks, Have watermelon for breakfast, play the clarinet.
I don't know how to play the clarinet.
Have you ever tried? No.
Then how do you know? I know I'm not a pilot, Even though I've never flown a plane.
Richard? Richard? You are a prisoner of your own rationality, And it's making you miserable.
You're stunting your own growth, richard.
Set your mind free! What is wrong with you? Nothing.
You know, a broken heart is not a luxury We can afford right now, geoffrey.
No, it's not that.
It's uh I just feel (clears throat) I'm completely cut off from my instincts.
That's all.
You don't need instincts.
You have me! I've done all the work for you.
Just stage my damn play! It's not that simple.
You know, this is incredibly frustrating for me, geoffrey.
I'd direct the play myself, if I could.
I know.
Oliver: But I can't, because I'm dead.
I know.
Oliver: I try.
I shout at the actors, but they can't hear me.
So, I shout at the one person who can hear me, But you don't do anything! I'm sorry.
You know, I'm in hell! This is my hell - Not being able to give notes.
Look, I would like to be able to help you, oliver, but oh What? I just don't like it.
Don't like what? Your play.
I mean, I see it, I understand it, But I don't like it.
I just don't like your play.
Ellen: Thank you for this, ed.
Don't thank me.
Thank your sister, For making me come over here during tax time.
She's a saint, diane, a real saint.
Yeah This couldn't come at a worse time for me.
Well, there's never a good time to be audited.
Ellen: You should see this woman, ed.
She's like a nazi.
She treats me like a criminal.
I don't understand anything she says.
It's this horrible nazi gibberish.
Where are your rrsp statements? That's exactly it.
"where are your rrsp statements?" No, where are they? You contribute through your union; You must have been sent quarterly statements.
I don't know.
God God! Ed: Okay, okay.
Relax.
What can they do to me? Ed: Well, they could deny your claims.
I mean I would.
$900 for lipstick? And if they deny my claims? Then your taxable income goes up.
And? And you have to pay back taxes.
Could I go to jail? I doubt that.
You doubt that? So it's a possibility? Look, I can't say anything until I've gone over this mess.
Jesus, it's going to take awhile.
Ellen: Well, I've got until 10:00, And then I have to go to rehearsal.
Ellen, there's three years worth of material here.
This is going to take days.
Days? Oh, this is a nightmare! What did I do? What did you do? What did you do? You kept shitty records, You probably lied on your returns, You definitely added wrong.
Why me? Ed: Everybody has to pay taxes, ellen.
That's why we have highways, and hospitals and parks- Ellen: I'm not a child, ed.
I know why we have to pay taxes.
Although I don't know why I should have to pay for highways - I don't have a car.
Write that down: "she doesn't have a car.
" Sarah: "wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds And sails upon the bosom of the air.
" "o romeo, romeo! Wherefore art thou romeo?" (laughs) Why are you laughing, sarah? Sarah: I don't know.
This exercise just feels silly.
Patrick, how do you feel playing juliet? It's my fucking fantasy.
(cast laughs) Darren: Sarah, you find it ridiculous Because you are mired down In your own preconceptions of heterosexual love, As was I, pre-berlin.
Okay.
Darren: But patrick understands that gender identity Is more complicated; One might say dynamic.
Definitely.
Okay, but why can't I look at him? You don't feel the power of this blocking; What it's saying about gender and status? Do you feel it? (cast agrees) I find it exciting, very exciting.
Let's try another scene.
I do get to play juliet eventually- (yells) it's an exercise! You know, sarah, One of the most significant productions In the history of this play Involved a female romeo.
Charlotte cushman's so-called "sapphic romeo".
Some people laughed then.
They were victorian, and so could be forgiven.
But you - you live in a post-modern world.
You should know better! Let's move on.
(indistinct chatter) Ellen: I'm so angry I could kill someone.
This is a ridiculous schedule.
Be careful what you say.
Lionel's very sensitive.
If he thinks you don't like the play, He'll change the whole thing.
Anna: Oh, thank you, everyone.
It's uh 10:00.
We're just waiting for our playwright, And then we can begin.
Uh, I'm here.
Oh! Oh, that's so great.
Uh, lionel train everyone.
(polite applause) Anna: Lionel? Do you want to say something Before we begin? Oh uh Yes.
Well, it's heavy.
(polite chuckles) Good morning.
Well uh Some of you may have heard that I have a reputation For uh Floundering around in a mess of my own making.
However, I think that this process will be different.
I've worked and re-worked this material and uh Though it feels strange for me to say this, I like it.
It's a pretty solid first draft.
So, let's just dive right in, shall we? Okay.
Without further ado- Oh.
Oh, yes.
Uh You all know emily.
Emily will be reading the stage directions.
Emily? Emily: "act one scene one.
A farmhouse.
Hilary, a farm wife, Is making a pie at the kitchen table.
" Ellen: I don't understand it, frederick.
Why would he behave that way? Emily: Sorry, I didn't- I didn't read all the directions.
"hilary's voice trembles as she speaks.
" Jerry: I can't expect you to understand.
You didn't grow up with him.
But what was he like as a child? He's so impenetrable.
I can't imagine your brother being young.
It's hard to remember for me, too.
Emily: "frederick looks thoughtfully at hilary.
" Jerry: He was bigger than me.
But more than just older I mean.
All the neighborhood kids treated him, Well not with respect, But differently.
Maybe he was born a man.
Emily: "sound effect: Grandfather clock chimes 6:00.
" 6:00! I hadn't noticed the time- "hilary looks up startled.
" His dinner! You know he won't eat it if it's late.
Emily: "frederick's face clouds over.
" He used to do that with mom.
Drove her mad.
Can I help? "there is a long pause.
" Yes, I was doing that.
Emily: Sorry.
You don't have to read all the stage directions.
Okay.
The adverbs, for example.
Don't read the adverbs.
Don't read them.
If it says, "angrily"? Don't read it.
We can act it.
Lionel: Shit! Ellen: Sorry, lionel.
Let's just go on.
Lionel: No, no, I'm sorry.
It's the uh, the opening.
It's slow.
Well we can Do it without the pauses.
No.
Fast garbage is still garbage.
You know what? We have the time, Why don't I fix it.
Okay? Come back uh Thursday, It'll all be fine.
(emily bursts out crying) Lionel: Lovely read, everyone.
It'll all be fixed - by Thursday.
(sobbing) Somebody slap her.
à à (over blows the clarinet causing loud squeals) Sarah: He doesn't have a clue what he's doing.
(henry tells a joke) Patrick: Maybe we're just not seeing the big picture.
Sarah: What big picture, patrick? He's throwing names around: Meyerhold, kristeva, stein, biomechanics? What do they have to do with each other? What do they have to do with this play? Okay, that's the deal, right? I mean, you do what the director says.
It's his vision.
Well, I hate it.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Patrick, when are we ever gonna get another chance, huh? To play these parts? (sighs) I never thought I'd get a first chance.
That's right.
That's right.
And that's we have to go talk to geoffrey First thing in the morning, Okay? (chuckles) You're really passionate about this, huh? Yeah.
I'm I'm passionate about a lot of things.
So, will you come with me? Auditor: Professional gifts.
Ellen: Yes.
I've listed them there - Very clearly and accurately - right there.
$3,231 dollars worth? That's right.
A professional gift is something You give to a client To promote your business.
I know.
When do you give these presents? At different times, different occasions.
Many of these receipts are from late December.
So? So, these are, in fact, christmas gifts? Yes.
All right, miss marples, yes.
They are christmas gifts.
So christmas is illegal now, is it? You know, I'm not the only one who does this.
There are people at the festival Who are much worse than me - much, much worse.
Who exactly? What? Who is much worse than you? Um Hi.
Can we speak to you for For a minute? Geoffrey: Come on in.
Close that behind you.
I feel really awkward about this.
You're here to complain about darren nichols? How did you know? I've been peeking in on your rehearsals.
Sarah: Well, he's- he's not doing the play.
He's just doing all these exercises.
Patrick: We were kind of hoping That maybe you could coach us - Or something? I mean anything- anything would be Would be something that we're not getting.
(sighs) You know, I appreciate your situation, I do.
But I'm uh I am not in a uh Place right now Where I can be of much help.
Geoffrey, please.
I I love this play.
I've seen it millions of times.
And finally, I get to say these beautiful words, But without character or story, These words are just They're air.
And it's killing me - him, too! It's killing both of us.
The-the both of us.
(sighs) All right, we'll have to keep it secret.
(gasps) we won't tell anyone.
Meet me tomorrow before rehearsal.
Bring some running shoes.
Thank you.
Okay Frank: My son isn't perfect, but who is? Ellen: I'm not blaming you.
Frank: Well you don't have children, So you can't know what it's like.
I suppose I'm to blame.
Ellen: No.
Frank: Well, what's happening to this family? This house is Crumbling around me.
Oh, I see! It's like the house built of straw - In the "three little pigs"? Lionel: Okay.
You know what? Throw away the scripts.
(flustered) no, I-I-I'm not criticizing.
I'm-I'm-I'm Lionel: I know.
I know.
Throw them away.
Emily? Can you get the Okay, this is the problem.
The problem is I don't know who these people are - These characters.
I I-I-I I don't know who they are.
And because of that, I don't trust them.
You people have to bring these characters to life.
Show me who they are.
Yeah, I want you to improvise your lines.
Well, y-y-you know the story, Just- just improvise the dialogue.
But But make it real.
Make me believe you're real.
Go.
My son isn't perfect, but who is? I'm not blaming you.
You don't have any children, So you don't understand.
I suppose I'm to blame.
No.
Lionel: Okay.
Um (laughs) You're just saying the lines.
Frank: I'm sorry, but they're in my head.
I'm-I'm a quick study.
Lionel: Just forget them.
Just get rid of them.
I hate those lines - never want to hear them again.
Okay? Just make the part your own.
Tell the story, but in your own words.
'kay? Go.
Frank: My son has problems, but who doesn't Have problems? It's not your fault That he has problems.
Well you don't have a son Or any sons.
So you don't know what I'm talking about.
Now I suppose you're going to say that uh It's because of me That my son is the way that he is? Not necessarily.
Lionel: Okay.
You're paraphrasing.
That's not what I want you to do.
I want you to tell the story, as written, But in your own words.
That's what paraphrasing is - What you've just said.
Lionel: Okay, look.
It's very simple.
I don't want to hear the words that I wrote Or any variation of those words.
I want you to tell the story - You people - in your own words.
Go.
My son Has things wrong with him, (cast snickers) But having said that, I don't think that having A certain amount of things wrong with you Is entirely out of the ordinary.
Emily? 15 minutes everybody.
(thumps the copy machine) (squeaky wail from richard's clarinet) Anna: I can help you with that.
Thank you.
Uh It's just these pages.
Actually, just page three.
Do you have a shredder? Is it not going well? Well, it's um There are problems with the story On a very, very basic level and The actors are idiots.
Well- that's not fair.
Some of the actors are idiots.
It's not easy Making up a play, from nothing.
I know you're just trying to say something Bland and supportive, But you're exactly right.
It is hard to create something out of nothing.
I mean, that's the dilemma.
And the process - I mean it just takes its toll on me.
I become a horrible person.
I mean just-just horrible to be around.
(takes a cleansing breath) Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? Sure.
Henry: "were the graced person of our banquo present; Who may I rather challenge for unkindness-" Here it comes.
Henry: "than pity for mischance!" Frank: "pleas't your highness To grace us with your royal company?" "the table's full!" Frank: "oh, here's a place reserv'd, sir.
" Henry: "where?" Frank: "over here, my lord.
What moves my lord?" (chair scrapes) Henry: "which of you have done this?" (frank stifles a laugh) What is he doing? Henry: "thou canst not say I did it: Never shake thy gory locks at me.
" (stifles laugh) Oliver: Stop them, geoffrey.
For god's sake.
Geoffrey: Okay, let's stop.
(cast laughs openly) Banquo: Sorry.
The cape got stuck under the- (ripping sound) Oh, shit! Jean: Don't move! You're tearing it to pieces! Henry: Well, it looks fantastic.
Have we stopped? Yes! Henry: Geoffrey, do you think we could make it just a- A little bit shorter- No! We'd see the feet.
Banquo: Then you'd see my feet.
Jean: You'd see the feet, geoffrey.
Yes, I realize we'd see his feet, But do you think we could carry on And maybe fix it later? Fix it now! The whole effect will be ruined unless you get it right.
I don't want to spend any more time on this.
Oliver: Geoffrey, the appearance of banquo's ghost is key! Geoffrey: You know, you have turned this entire play Into a parade of special effects.
Oliver: The effects give context for the performances.
Geoffrey: The effects are coming at the expense Of the performances.
I mean look at henry! He's huge! No, he's acting terrified Because he's looking at a scary actor acting scary.
There's nothing emotional to connect with up there! Geoffrey! What?! Ellen: Geoffrey, stop it, please? Stop What? You have no idea how frightening it is To watch you talking to an empty chair.
Thank you everyone.
See you tomorrow.
Oliver: You can't cut the ghost! Geoffrey: I'm cutting the ghost.
You don't know what you're doing.
Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing.
This is not a horror movie.
It's a story about one man's guilt.
It's a story about one man's journey into madness.
You're just trying to make it about you.
And you're trying to make it about you! You can't cut the ghost! Oliver- I won't let you.
Oliver, remember what ellen said.
The real horror is in what we don't see.
The real horror is in our imagination.
If you cut the ghost, I'll quit! Go ahead.
All right! Why are you still here? I'm going! So Go! Uh Is everything all right, geoffrey? Yeah.
Terrific.
Just here, all alone, On my lake.
Ahhh, the lake.
(nervous laugh) I mean, it's all about editing.
Words are cheap, right? You can talk all day Or describe something in excruciating detail, But in the end, you know, that's just What it would be.
What? Excruciating.
Right.
So Tell me about you.
Who are you? Me? I'm nobody.
Oh, come on.
Well, uh I grew up in winkler, manitoba.
That's a town of about 8000 people, Two hours south of winnipeg.
And what do they do in uh Winkler? TheyThey uh, mostly farm.
For fun, what do they do? Oh well, there's a There's an aquatic playground, And there's uh, the harvest festival in August, And the thresherman museum - that's kind of fun.
You get see how they lived in the olden days.
(laughs) wow.
Yeah, I've never met anyone from the prairies before.
Seriously? Lionel: No.
What are they like - Prairie folk? I mean are they real? Are they, you know, real people? Yes, I'd say they were real people.
I don't know any real people.
I mean everyone around me is-is-is Is pretending to be someone they're not.
Well, they're actors.
Right.
But you're not.
No.
(laughs) God, no.
(laughs) I love that About you.
I I love that you're real.
Oh.
Let's get drunk out of our minds.
Okay.
So? How are the kids? They're good.
Noel's finally sleeping through the night now.
And annie told her mother the other day, She wants to be an actress when she grows up.
(laughs) What's so funny about that? Well, it's not exactly the lifestyle choice You'd make for your daughter, is it? You make it sound like prostitution.
Ellen, I'm just Forget it.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
So, what's this for - $120 dollars? Oh.
A bra for work - a work bra.
Nobody sees it.
Okay.
You know, my lifestyle is a bit unusual, I admit that.
But you have no right to judge me.
I'm sorry.
You're like my auditor.
She treats me like a criminal.
You're not a criminal.
It's not a crime to be stupid.
Excuse me? I'm talking about your limited understanding Of your own financial situation; Your inability to add two numbers together.
Shut up, ed! I am not stupid.
I'm just saying- It's bad enough being called a liar by the government; Now I'm being called stupid by a beer swilling clerk? Hey! I'm doing you a favour here.
If insulting someone is your idea of doing a favour, Then you are the idiot, not me.
Nobody who spends $120 on a bra And then tries to claim it, Has the right to call me an idiot.
That bra is a legitimate business expense.
I have to go onstage every night And convince people that I am a strong, sexy woman In control of her life.
And you're saying that a bra- Yes, that's right! The bra helps me to do that.
I need the bra for my job.
It's like office supplies.
Like office supplies.
You think I'm a fake, don't you? Yes.
Well, I think you're a fake.
Really? Yes.
I think that you don't believe for one second In your regular life.
I think you want to have big adventures like me - Poor little me - The prostitute/actress in the $120 bra.
Is that right? Yes, that's right.
(vacuum hums) (laughing) (panting) Geoffrey: Okay, don't wait - Straight into the text.
"how camest thou hither" - go! "how camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, And the place death, considering who thou art, If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
" Geoffrey: No, no, no! You're thinking! Don't think - Instinct! Go! "oh with love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; Huh? For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do that" "what love can do" Geoffrey: That dares- "what love can do that dares love attempt; Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.
" Okay, on the ground.
Two push ups - one each - go! Okay! "if they do see thee, they will murder thee.
" "alack, there lies more peril in thine eye Than twenty of their swords: Look thou but sweet, And I am proof against their enmity.
" Geoffrey: That's good, good.
Keep the breath going.
More text, you guys.
Jump in anywhere.
It's very good.
Sarah: "o gentle romeo, If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay, So thou wilt woo; but else, Not for the world.
" "lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-" "o, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
" Patrick: "what shall I swear by?" Sarah: "do not swear at all; Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, Which is the god of my idolatry, And I'll believe thee.
" Wow, it's just passionate, it's It's really poetic But it's really um Sexual, too.
(giddy laugh) Geoffrey: (laughs) Okay, you two, run around again.
Patrick, you go first.
This time, sarah, you catch up.
Thank you, geoffrey.
No, thank you.
I thought he was gay.
Ellen: Oh, hi, diane, it's ellen.
Is everything good with you? And ed? Good.
No, no.
I-I-I'm just phoning to say I'm sorry.
Sorry for keeping him so late.
No.
Nothing more, just a friendly sorry.
Yeah Okay, well, I've I've got to go to rehearsal so, Sorry again to you, and um Say sorry to the children for me.
Ellen: Oh, anna? Do you have those pay stubs for me? Oh, yes.
Where are they? Gosh, I'm sorry.
I got here a bit late this morning And everything's a bit topsy turvy.
Yeah.
I actually slept in! I had a late evening.
I went to jongs.
The lemon chicken there is really good.
Did you go out with someone? Yes, as a matter of fact.
It's kind of a secret.
I mean, nothing happened yet, but it might And I don't want to jinx it.
It's someone who works here.
I can't tell you who - not richard.
Hmm.
That's great.
Good for you.
Thanks for this.
Ellen? It's okay.
It's okay.
I have another preview tonight.
Oh, it'll be okay.
Yeah, I Yeah.
(somewhat improved sound of clarinet) (clarinet breaks between low and high notes) Richard? Oh, anna, come on in.
I want to show you something.
(begins playing opening notes of "danny boy") "danny boy", right? Yes! It's great.
Really? Considering you've only had it a few days, it's Oh, well, thank you.
Sorry, do you want something? Uh, do you know anything about what's happening in rehearsal? Ellen was here and she's quite upset.
Um I don't know.
It's that time of year, anna.
Come on, it's previews.
Okay.
Well, I'll leave you to your practising.
Richard: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Here's the chorus.
(chorus is unrecognizable) Geoffrey: Okay, everybody, Here's the game plan.
We're going to streamline this production, So we can focus more on the acting And less on the effects- Ah, ellen, Not late again.
Now, most of these changes will be subtle, But one big change: We are cutting the ghost of banquo.
Now, I know, henry, that seems drastic, But I think it will help the audience appreciate That macbeth is losing his grip on reality.
I also want to pick up the pace in most scenes, In particular, those scenes involving the two macbeths.
I would like them to be breathless; Feel they are acting impulsively; That they don't have time to think.
And one other thing: Act one scene five.
We're going to return to an old idea.
This is the first time we see mr.
And mrs.
Macbeth alone, And lady macbeth will wash the blood Off her husband's body.
There will be a basin and a rag Up stage left.
Any questions? Henry: (clears his throat) Terrific.
We have a lot to do before preview, So let's get to work.
Maria? Call it.
Maria: All right, everyone, Shall we start with the banquet scene? Sarah: Do you wanna do this again? Mmm, go.
Go again.
Where do you want to go from? Um Um From um "wilt thou be gone.
" Okay.
(guttural yell) "wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day: It was, it was the lark, and not the nightingale, That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear" Ellen: "come, thick night, And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, To cry 'hold, hold!' Great glamis! Worthy cawdor! Greater than both, by the all-hail hereafter! Thy letters have transported me beyond this ignorant present, And I feel now the future in the instant.
" "my dearest love, duncan comes here to-night.
" Ellen: "and when goes hence?" Henry: "to-morrow, as he purposes.
" "nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree: Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.
" "it was the lark, The herald of the morn, no nightingale: Look, love, What envious streaks Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east: Night's candles are burnt out, And jocund day Stands tiptoe On the misty mountain tops.
" Oh god, this is hot.
Audience: (whistles and applause) Oh henry- What are you doing here? Just a quick note before you go.
Yeah, what is it? You're fired.
What? Oh, I think you heard me.
You're fired.
On what basis? Well, I could just say that I don't like you, But that's not really specific enough, And this is all about specifics, isn't it? So the truth is, I don't like you And I don't like your acting.
I don't like the fact that you ignore my direction.
I don't like the fact you play everything To the audience.
I don't like your complete lack of theatrical courage, And I really don't like that you've turned ellen against me, But that's subtext.
In any event, I'm putting jerry in tomorrow night.
You are insane.
Not at this moment.
Your fans await.
(henry pants a little) Audience: (claps and cheers) (clapping and cheering)