Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s02e04 Episode Script

Oh, the hunger.
Welcome to the show.
Tonight, my guests are pork roast and fishwich.
I mean, Michael stipe and Lassie.
So, how was your weekend, zorak?
Hey, hey, hey.
Mine was good, too.
Uh, what's with the action figure?
There is no weekend.
Yeah, yeah. What's with the action figure?
We exist in a boundless time continuum.
- There is no weekend.
- Hello.
Hello.
This is my nephew, Raymond.
Hello.
Hi, ray.
So, what do you want to be when you grow?
Locust of the pocalypse.
Isn't that cute?
- He can't say apocalypse.
- Watch this.
Hey, kid, say spaghetti.
Paschetti.
Ha ha! Mmm.
Paschetti.
Paschetti.
- Pocalypse.
- Apocalypse.
Hey, you bugs must have billions of relatives,
what with all the eggs
you lay.
Don't ghosts hang around attics and go "boo," jerk?
Weren't your mother's people dung beetles?
I am the lone locust of the apocalypse!
Pocalypse?
Think of me when you oh, now you're a locust again.
- Well, silly me.
- I thought you were a mantis.
Uh, I am.
I am the lone mantis of the apocalypse.
Wait. Better yet I am the lone "fill in the blank"
of the apocalypse.
- How about that, zorak?
- Leave enough room for you there?
And how about you start wearing a
shirt to work from now on, Jack?
I wear a vest.
Hee hee!
- Say, ray.
- Yes?
- Shut up.
- Ok.
Are you guys as hungry as I am?
Mmm. Hungry like hungry Jack hungry?
No! Hungry like a muscled-up g. I.
Joe after a tough day in the chopper.
- No. Uh-uh.
- Yes.
- No, Raymond.
- Yes.
- No, Raymond.
- Yes, subpar.
I am zorak! Zorak!
Ooh, action figure with lifelike tears.
You want a pizza, Raymond?
Pizza?
Pizza, pizza, little Raymond.
- Pizza?
- Pizza.
Peyote pizza?
Ha ha! Moltar, establish contact with the pizza parlor.
All right. Ok.
Let me, uh Hi, Dave!
Hi, Dave!
Huh? Dave?
Nice to see you, Dave.
Earthlings.
Sal's pizza emporium.
We bake it, you buy it.
Ah ha.
What do you have, mister?
Greetings, pizza merchant.
We wish to order a pie with out of anchovies.
You guys like anchovies?
Ah, how about seal?
- Too chewy.
- Um, yeah. Carp?
- Nope.
- Do you have carp?
Aw Haddock.
- Waffles.
- Carp waffles.
Fresh out of carp waffles already.
Hey, hey, haddock.
We can get grouper.
Oh, no. Haddock.
I've got it orange roughie.
Yeah. Get it bloated.
Hey, how about haddock?
We'd like a pizza with bloated orange roughie, please.
- No, wait. Sun-bloated.
- Yeah, get it sun-bloated.
Sorry. Sun-bloated, ok?
Yeah, yeah. Hey, mookie.
Give me one large pie with sun-bloated orange roughie.
- Pronto.
- With bells on. Pdq.
Make sure it's bloated.
All right, already.
Mmm Orange groupie.
Roughie.
Whatever.
My first guest is one of several
thousand collies who have gone by
the name of Lassie, but this is the real one.
- Objection.
- Yeah, the jetsons.
- Order!
- Oh, puppy.
- Order!
- Puppy!
- Shh! Don't startle the dog guest.
- Sorry.
Gee, you're a nice doggie, Lassie.
So, what you been up to?
Yeah, I know!
Does it ever itch right here?
You could get some salve.
Ok. Now here is a high-pitched sound only you can hear.
Aah!
Ah You idiot.
We can all hear that.
- No, you can't.
- You're bluffing.
- Am not.
- You're saying "aah!"
Well, how about this?
Meemeemeemee Meemeemeemee
No!
What is it, girl?
There's trouble at the ranch?
Hmm. Trouble at the farm.
You say brack was bitten by a rattlesnake?
Where is he, girl?
He's at old man tibby's farm?
- Farms have chickens.
- Corn!
Lets ride!
Uh, where's that farm again?
Oh, she's gone.
Say, is that pizza here yet?
Uh-uh.
What say we enjoy the aroma of food with my smell ray.
Stand back.
Bacon.
Ah! Horsey!
Ok. Guess this one.
Mmm. Pancreas.
Donkey?
No. Pancreas.
And this one?
Chlorine!
Pony!
No way. Chlorine.
- No, look!
- Pretty pony!
Oh, yeah, that's jumbles.
Pretty jumbles.
Look, iron man, for the last time, I can't send you a raw pizza.
Give me the dough.
I can cook it in 20 seconds.
20 seconds? What you got over there, a nuclear reactor?
- Sal, sal, listen.
- Give me the dough.
- Moltar, where's that pizza?
- It's been over 5 minutes.
Pizza guy on line two.
Ah, the pizza man.
Greetings, pizza merchant.
Greetings, pizza merchant.
Nobody cooks pizza in 20 seconds.
Hey, where's my pizza?
What happened?
Raymond bit jumbles.
- What?
- Who's jumbles?
- He's my horse.
- Is he ok?
- I don't know.
- Maybe.
So is the horse all right, or what?
- I don't know!
- Hey, where's my pizza?
Well, it's like this Mookie
the guy making your pizza, right
turns out he's allergic to orange roughie,
so he got all hivey and stuff,
but now he's making you another pie.
Is mookie ok?
Whoa! Hey, mookie, you got to check this out.
The baby maggot's talking.
- Mantis!
- Hello.
Freaky!
Freaky?
Freaky?
Hey, that horse, he don't look so good.
What's his name jingles?
Jumbles.
- Yeah, jumbles.
- He looks lame.
You better put him down.
- Look here, pizza man, I'm space ghost.
- I'm hungry.
I've got a talking voodoo doll taking chunks out of my horse,
- and I want my pizza!
- Freaky, mookie!
- Ok! Ok.
- Just trying to help.
- All right. So we're ok?
- We're fine?
Quit stepping on me.
Stop it! Stop! Ah!
You better slap a muzzle on that scaled-down piece of evil.
- You better get that pizza.
- Yeah!
Come on, jumbles, walk it off.
- Hallelujah!
- It's Michael stipe!
What are those things on your face?
Those are my intergalactic space glasses.
- Uh-huh.
- What can you do with those?
I can see right through you, space ghost.
Uh-huh.
Freaky.
So, Mr. magnospecs, your new album's calledmonster?
What's up with that?
The new record is, um It's like,
uh, it's it'sA concept record.
It's a Concept record!
It's, uh It's, uh It's like a layman's
It's like a layman's, uh
You got stuff on your lip.
Uh, layman's Like a layman's
It's like a layman's Layman's, uh
A layman's Layman's
A layman's dissertation on OnOn
Tip of my tongue. On The black hole phenomenon.
On the black hole phenomenon.
What what's this do?
Ok, Mike, I'm going to send you a high-pitched message
that only you can hear.
Why me?
No message, space ghost.
Ok, then, sing that song.
Sing that shiny, shiny people song.
No.
I'll get you started.
Shiny, shiny people
shiny, shiny
I hate that song, space ghost.
Oh, me, too, Michael, me, too.
Say, Mike, do you think I'm a shiny, shiny person?
I would say yes.
- Yes?
- Yes.
- You're sure?
- Yes, absolutely.
You don't see some dark, horrible corner inside of me somewhere?
No. None.
Ok. You're sure?
Yep.
- I have a question.
- Is that you in the corner?
That way, in the corner.
That's me in the corner. Yeah.
Freaky.
So what's next for you? What's on your plate Ew!
Um, I'm going to drive to dinner.
Take us.
No.
I want to go.
Take us, please.
- No.
- Come on, stipe, give us a break!
Buy us some dinner.
- I want to sit down.
- Shut up!
Well, how about him, will he take us?
Yes, absolutely.
Great. See you.
Just me moltar.
Out of lines, hanging out.
I'm so hungry I'm light-headed.
May I have a hall pass, miss stechler?
I want to go home now, miss stechler.
I want to go, too, miss stechler.
Zorak, where's your nephew?
- Who? Oh.
- I devoured him.
- That's barbaric!
- Is there any left?
Um
No.
I'm gonna miss the little guy.
Let's look back at all the fun we
had with our special friend Raymond.
I think I should see the nurse, miss stechler.
Moltar! Get me that pizza boy!
- Hi, Dave!
- Hi, Dave!
Hi, Dave!
I'm not Dave.
I'm space ghost.
Who are you two?
I mujibur, and this is sirajul.
Hello, space ghost.
Hmm. Space ghost.
That's the name on our pizza.
That's my pizza!
Thank you for the gift.
Mmm. Orange roughie.
- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!
- -
- That's a good jumbles.