Still the King (2016) s02e04 Episode Script
Flatbushes
1 VERNON: Previously on "Still the King" Oh, I know you.
You're Burnin' Vernon.
That's me, the guy from the '90s, sang that one song.
And I just wanna get back to the real me, my music.
Hey.
I know you.
My dad and you were best friends growing up.
His name's Robert Murray.
He played fiddle in your band.
No way.
She wants to know which one of us knocked her up.
You're a bad girlfriend.
You care more about your boats and karates than you do about being there for me.
Well, I'm here now for the baby.
For all the ladies that love me.
Hey, how're you doing? - [bleep.]
- [thud.]
[bleep.]
.
Hey! What the hell am I paying the house band for when your singer's too drunk to sing? What? I sing a little.
Only thing you need to sing is make that mop sing - over to that table to clean up.
- I won't screw it up.
I know all the songs you guys play.
And I'm good.
Let's see what you got young blood.
You got a name? It's Brown.
Vernon Brown.
Take this job and shove it I ain't working here no more My woman done left and took all the reasons I was working for He's just burnin' up the stage.
We should call him Flamin' Vernon Brown.
'Cause I'm walkin' out the door Take this job and shove it Good morning, everybody.
Let's get this show on the road.
Today's the big day.
Oh yeah, it ain't every day a hometown honors their favorite son with his very own statue.
Phew! Call me when they name a battleship after ya, pal.
Deb, are you sure you can't join us? I'd love to, but I gotta make some progress on that nursery.
I gotta say though, I'm pretty impressed.
Kinda exciting knowing someone with their own statue.
Yeah, very exciting.
Deb, you will be missed.
Ronnie, you not so much.
Charlotte, let's go.
Come on, me and you.
And Walt and Doily.
I'll make them sit in the back.
It's gonna be fun.
Whoo! Boy, I got some stuff to show you.
It's gonna be awesome.
Uh, you know what? Vernon, I'm proud of ya.
A year ago, you were breaking the law.
And now, you're being commemorated with a statue for the anniversary of your first performance.
I think it's great.
We can skip all the exposition, Doily.
We all know what's going on here.
Sorry for being excited.
I'm finally part of the crew, you know? It's gonna be an adventure.
A lot of hijinks, tomfoolery, shenanigans, all that stuff.
With an addition of a sad, lonely, single sidekick.
Classic Charlotte burn.
I love it.
It's so you.
What the hell? - Wow, that is really poorly worded.
- VERNON: Right? I feel like there should be an and after the word dirtball.
And you know what? I should also have top billing over a giant ball of dirt.
Depends on where the dirt come from.
[cow moos.]
VERNON: What do you mean "it depends on where the dirt comes from"? Six.
Seven, eight.
Sixty, sixty-one, sixty Do you know where the hammer is? Uh Oh, the burn.
Are those my weights? Uh, I'm just borrowing 'em right now.
Uh this outta do ya.
Thank you.
You can go back to doing your girly pushups now.
I find that term sexist! What do you need a hammer for? Oh, it's all coming back to me now.
That backyard over there, shot off my first stoned blind day drunk right there.
[laughs.]
Over yonder on that porch, my first time I sucker punched somebody.
I mean, I came up from behind him pow - just for the hell of it.
- CHARLOTTE: [laughs.]
Oh gosh, there she is.
See that bus bench over there? My first ménage à trois.
DOILY: Wow.
If that bench could only talk.
Probably better if it didn't.
[laughs.]
Oh my God.
Oh my God, Dad, come check this out.
This jacket's sick.
You like Waylon? Oh my God, yeah, he's amazing.
This jacket's amazing, too.
Not $520 amazing though.
Hey, come on, guys, let me show you where I got my education.
[bell rings.]
Yep, this is it.
Um, I thought we were going to your old school.
Uh, hell, I didn't learn a damn thing in school.
I learned a bunch of damn stuff here though.
[laughs.]
Well, if it ain't the long, lost prodigal son.
Chuck? You still here? I told you never to come back in here.
You remember why? Is it because he poked your eye out? No, no, no.
He left me high and dry without a busboy.
He just upped and quit.
Had to hire a new busboy.
Well, that don't sound all that bad.
That busboy slept with my wife, cleaned out the cash register, and split.
But I tracked him all the way to Mexico.
Caught up with him down there at a cock fight in Tijuana.
There he was, betting all my hard-earned money on this big-breasted Central American fighting fowl they called Don Von Tressy.
He grabbed that big rooster and threw it in my face.
And Old Von Tressy pecked my eyeball out.
- [rooster crows.]
- Ew.
You owe me an apology.
Sorry.
My bad.
[laughing.]
I've been waiting 29 years to hear that.
You good? I'm good.
Hey, let me get you all something to drink.
- Okay, man.
- Oh, excuse me.
Hey, we're good.
[laughing.]
Oh my God.
Dad, is this you? VERNON: Yeah.
CHARLOTTE: You look so young and sober.
When are we gonna see your childhood haunts, Walt? Uh, probably right around never.
Vernon Brown! Vern F-ing Brown.
Mayor Ted.
Honor to meet you, Mayor Ted.
Oh well, my friends just call me Teddy Bear.
Hey, Teddy Bear.
I didn't mean you.
For the man of the hour.
Please respect the office of the mayor.
Okay.
You all call me Mayor Ted.
- Mayor Ted.
- Yes.
We we got people to do, we got places to go to.
Vernon Brown.
Look, everybody, Vernon Brown! Attach the crib end top A to the crib end by connecting slot A to B.
How the hell do you connect two slots? [clears throat.]
That, uh, for the baby? No, it's for me.
- I keep falling out of bed.
- Oh.
Ronnie, I'm kidding.
Yeah, I knew that.
I'll tell you what.
I'll help you out, but if the baby turns out not to be mine, I'm gonna back out every one of these screws.
Okay, Ronnie.
Instructions? Instructions are just one man's opinion.
Ronnie.
Oh, everybody, this is Towns Belfew.
He's the artist in residence here at Green Nook Community College.
And he is the sculptor who made your statue.
I do not make art.
I'm merely the vessel that reveals it.
Oh, that is my bad.
Aren't artists temperamental? I hope you enjoy the latest piece that revealed itself to me.
Oh! Don't you love it? I just love it.
DOILY: That's awesome.
Uh I like what you got going on in the face, torso.
Legs are cool.
Boots are cool.
But right in here looks a little I think what my dad is trying to say is you gave him a camel toe.
[laughs.]
It's camel toe.
It's camel toe.
Hey, Vernon, get next to that camel toe.
I wanna get a picture.
Tis a crease on the pants, nothing more.
Oh, look, chief, we gotta have a little wiggle room on my crotch.
I will not compromise [whispers.]
my vision.
Well, everybody, don't forget 3 o'clock.
The whole town is gonna be there to see it.
Mr.
Belfew.
We need an arc welder.
I know where we can get one, but it's not gonna be pleasant.
Come on.
RONNIE: Man, that's one kickass crib.
DEBBIE: I wish ours looked like that.
It doesn't seem totally safe.
About as safe as drunken boat sex with another man.
Ronnie I know I hurt you, but we have to figure out a way to move past this.
We all make mistakes.
I don't.
I think we're looking at one of yours right now.
Come on, could we just start fresh? Alright, alright.
Let's get some tape.
We're gonna beat this crib one way or another.
CHARLOTTE: Are you sure there's an arc welder here? WALT: I'm sure.
There's a lot of stuff here.
Okay.
Here we go.
Please don't judge me by the people you're about to meet.
Waltie! [laughing.]
I love you.
I miss you, and now I'm gonna kiss you.
[giggling.]
And then he finally hit the ball, and he ran to third instead of first.
ALL: [laughing.]
Honey, you want the sandwiches here? Oh my gosh, Walter! Walter! Oh, how are ya, son? I'm fine, Dusty.
Dah-ah, how many times I gotta tell ya, call me dad.
Every time, 'cause I never will.
He's such a kidder.
Hey, you must be Vernon Brown.
Wow.
I've heard a lot about you.
Innocent until proven guilty, I always say.
All of it good, I promise.
How are ya? Nice to see ya.
We're pleased as punch to have you guys here.
What do you do, Dusty? Me? I'm a counselor for at-risk teens.
Nobody cares, Dusty.
Don't be salty, Waltie.
Speaking of teens, you wanna see Walter's yearbook? Oh my gosh, oh, it's a hoot.
[laughs.]
Oh look, I spilled some tea.
Oh, no worries.
Let me get a towel.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry about Dusty, y'all.
Thought he'd never shut up.
What a jerk.
Yeah, what a nightmare.
Well, he's a picture of Walt as a cheerleader.
- Fun.
- Oh my God.
Oh, you've met my niece Frankie? Oh.
Frankie's staying in Walter's old room now.
Hi.
I'm Walter.
Walter Baines Murray.
I went through all your stuff.
I read your diary.
I know all your theories [indistinct whispering.]
.
I don't know how I feel about that.
That haiku that you wrote in the seventh grade called "The Meadow" was so powerful.
You are such a sensitive flower, Walt.
Okay, excuse me, y'all.
I gotta get to my old bedroom.
Well, actually, it's Frankie now.
It's not your bedroom to give away, Dusty.
Well, the guestroom is always open.
You know, in case you wanna come home anytime, son.
I don't wanna come, son Dusty.
- Dad.
- Dusty.
Papa! WALT: Still Dusty! It's always gonna be Dusty! Never gonna call you dad! Kid loves me.
What are you looking for? My arc welder.
Don't worry about it.
It's in the box under the blanket to the left.
Thank you.
Need help with anything else? No thank you.
Are you sure? Yep.
Do you believe in soulmates, Walt? Put your baby in me.
Nope, gotta go.
Alright, y'all, time to go.
Walt, do you need any help carrying anything? No, goodbye.
Come on, we gotta split.
Walt, you just got here.
Sorry, Mom, tight schedule.
Alright, we'll see at the statue unveiling.
Yeah, see ya there.
Pleasure to meet ya, yes.
Mwah.
Bye-bye, what a pleasure.
- It's a good crowd.
- I know.
Hey, check this out.
How do you like this shirt? Where in the sam hell did you get that picture? I took it when you were sleeping.
Alright, well, I should get going before it gets too crowded.
I wanna be in the front row for all the shenanigans! Vernon, I'm all set up, ready to go.
Well, where's the rest of the band? Oh, yeah, Mo and Carmen said they're not gonna do another gig until you pay 'em for the first one, so but I got pro tools.
Me and you, we'll be a two-man wrecking crew! - It'll be awesome! - Vernon! Oh, I thought you'd gone home.
Listen, once you finish your song, the statue will be unveiled for the whole town.
You're exact likeness forever and ever and ever.
Well, Mr.
Mayor, while I got you here, can I talk to you about the Welcome to Flatbushes' sign? Don't you feel like Flatbushes' favorite son should get top billing over a giant ball of dirt? You are so right.
The sign should read, "Welcome to Flatbushes: Home of Vernon Brown.
" And then, "World's Biggest Dirt Ball.
" I'm gonna get my people on that.
- [crowd cheering.]
- Hello, everybody.
Thank you all so much for coming.
There's a lot of eyeballs here, Vern.
Are you sure we can pull this off? Yeah, we can do it, man.
If it makes you feel any better, we'll go down together.
It does not make me feel any better.
You ready? Yeah.
Well, without further ado, a man who needs no introduction.
I guess he was being literal.
Hey, y'all, it's great to be with ya.
I can't believe I'm in the front row of a Burnin' Vernon concert.
[laughs.]
This is great.
This is a song I wrote a few years back about growing up here in Flatbushes.
I hope you all like it.
Back when I was young And I was just a kid Foolish things were done [indistinct yelling.]
Secrets that we hear Dad, save that song for people for care.
Just give them what they want.
I got you covered, Charlotte's Dad.
You got it.
I left Oklahoma drivin' in a Pontiac Just about to lose my mind [crowd cheering.]
I was goin' to Arizona maybe on to California Where the people all live so fine My baby said I's crazy My momma called me lazy [crowd cheering.]
Hey, you guys, I gotta get back to my spot! Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Hey, wait a minute! Livin' on Tulsa time Livin' on Tulsa time Hey, how's it coming? It's taking a while to heat up.
Because you know architectural bronze is 50% copper, 20% Okay, Walt, stop, save the science lesson for the ride home.
Okay.
I need more time.
CHARLOTTE: Okay, I'll stretch.
[crowd cheering.]
Uh, yep, perfect.
- Do you wanna do the honors? - Really? Good night, my child.
[wood creaks.]
Son of a [bleep.]
.
When you look into my eyes Tell me what do you see It's been a long time Since I've been mean I'm a human monster I'm a lost soul, I'm a freak, whenever you made me I gotta grave and I want your blood on my teeth So this is what you want then Shoot what I want, shaking what's up then Now we're ready to bust then Take everything, leave 'em with nothing They ain't gon' be no discussion We ain't talking no more, we 'bout to rush 'em Never thought see me coming Take everything, leave 'em with nothing Leave 'em with nothing Hey, I got nothing to lose, I got nothing to lose Take everything, leave 'em with nothing Oh, crap.
[crowd cheering.]
Thank you.
[crowd cheering.]
VERNON: Thank you all so much.
It's not good.
VERNON: Thank you, Flatbushes.
Walt, I don't know how much longer What are you doing? I need more time.
I got it.
No you don't.
VERNON: when I was growing up here.
Today, um, reminds me of What is this stuff? This is not bronze.
I love him.
I just love him.
- Isn't he so great? - What is he doing? They're here to see my artistic vision of Vernon Brown, not the actual Vernon Brown.
Well, he be finish little stop it.
- This is ridiculous.
- Oh.
It ends now.
People of Flatbushes I give you my pièce de résistance I call "Rising Star.
" [crowd gasping.]
BELFEW: A masterpiece.
Thank you, Flatbushes, and goodnight.
[tires squeal.]
[crash.]
RONNIE: Uh.
Thanks for all your help today.
Hey, anytime I get to burn stuff in the yard, it's a pretty good day.
It turned out to be kinda fun, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, it did.
How 'bout that whole starting fresh idea you were talking about? I'd like that.
Hi, my name's Ronnie.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Debbie.
Enchanté.
[brakes squeal.]
Oh boy.
Whoo-hoo! Yard fire, alright! That's right.
How was the trip? It was typical.
How was your day? It was nice.
Yeah.
Hey, Vern, check it out.
Whoa.
Where'd you find this? An old box of crap that Dusty threw in my closet.
Oh my God, that's our old song book.
It's some good stuff in here.
Uh-ah.
Speaking of good stuff, look what your daddy left me.
You know he would want me to save this.
He'd probably want you to share it with his son.
Well, speaking of sharing things.
This is for you, Little Missy.
[groans.]
What? When did you even have time You earned it.
You saved my butt up there today.
No way, I love it so much.
But you didn't have to.
You're welcome.
Wait, where's Doily? Take your shirt off! I mean, he looks good with his shirt off.
You're Burnin' Vernon.
That's me, the guy from the '90s, sang that one song.
And I just wanna get back to the real me, my music.
Hey.
I know you.
My dad and you were best friends growing up.
His name's Robert Murray.
He played fiddle in your band.
No way.
She wants to know which one of us knocked her up.
You're a bad girlfriend.
You care more about your boats and karates than you do about being there for me.
Well, I'm here now for the baby.
For all the ladies that love me.
Hey, how're you doing? - [bleep.]
- [thud.]
[bleep.]
.
Hey! What the hell am I paying the house band for when your singer's too drunk to sing? What? I sing a little.
Only thing you need to sing is make that mop sing - over to that table to clean up.
- I won't screw it up.
I know all the songs you guys play.
And I'm good.
Let's see what you got young blood.
You got a name? It's Brown.
Vernon Brown.
Take this job and shove it I ain't working here no more My woman done left and took all the reasons I was working for He's just burnin' up the stage.
We should call him Flamin' Vernon Brown.
'Cause I'm walkin' out the door Take this job and shove it Good morning, everybody.
Let's get this show on the road.
Today's the big day.
Oh yeah, it ain't every day a hometown honors their favorite son with his very own statue.
Phew! Call me when they name a battleship after ya, pal.
Deb, are you sure you can't join us? I'd love to, but I gotta make some progress on that nursery.
I gotta say though, I'm pretty impressed.
Kinda exciting knowing someone with their own statue.
Yeah, very exciting.
Deb, you will be missed.
Ronnie, you not so much.
Charlotte, let's go.
Come on, me and you.
And Walt and Doily.
I'll make them sit in the back.
It's gonna be fun.
Whoo! Boy, I got some stuff to show you.
It's gonna be awesome.
Uh, you know what? Vernon, I'm proud of ya.
A year ago, you were breaking the law.
And now, you're being commemorated with a statue for the anniversary of your first performance.
I think it's great.
We can skip all the exposition, Doily.
We all know what's going on here.
Sorry for being excited.
I'm finally part of the crew, you know? It's gonna be an adventure.
A lot of hijinks, tomfoolery, shenanigans, all that stuff.
With an addition of a sad, lonely, single sidekick.
Classic Charlotte burn.
I love it.
It's so you.
What the hell? - Wow, that is really poorly worded.
- VERNON: Right? I feel like there should be an and after the word dirtball.
And you know what? I should also have top billing over a giant ball of dirt.
Depends on where the dirt come from.
[cow moos.]
VERNON: What do you mean "it depends on where the dirt comes from"? Six.
Seven, eight.
Sixty, sixty-one, sixty Do you know where the hammer is? Uh Oh, the burn.
Are those my weights? Uh, I'm just borrowing 'em right now.
Uh this outta do ya.
Thank you.
You can go back to doing your girly pushups now.
I find that term sexist! What do you need a hammer for? Oh, it's all coming back to me now.
That backyard over there, shot off my first stoned blind day drunk right there.
[laughs.]
Over yonder on that porch, my first time I sucker punched somebody.
I mean, I came up from behind him pow - just for the hell of it.
- CHARLOTTE: [laughs.]
Oh gosh, there she is.
See that bus bench over there? My first ménage à trois.
DOILY: Wow.
If that bench could only talk.
Probably better if it didn't.
[laughs.]
Oh my God.
Oh my God, Dad, come check this out.
This jacket's sick.
You like Waylon? Oh my God, yeah, he's amazing.
This jacket's amazing, too.
Not $520 amazing though.
Hey, come on, guys, let me show you where I got my education.
[bell rings.]
Yep, this is it.
Um, I thought we were going to your old school.
Uh, hell, I didn't learn a damn thing in school.
I learned a bunch of damn stuff here though.
[laughs.]
Well, if it ain't the long, lost prodigal son.
Chuck? You still here? I told you never to come back in here.
You remember why? Is it because he poked your eye out? No, no, no.
He left me high and dry without a busboy.
He just upped and quit.
Had to hire a new busboy.
Well, that don't sound all that bad.
That busboy slept with my wife, cleaned out the cash register, and split.
But I tracked him all the way to Mexico.
Caught up with him down there at a cock fight in Tijuana.
There he was, betting all my hard-earned money on this big-breasted Central American fighting fowl they called Don Von Tressy.
He grabbed that big rooster and threw it in my face.
And Old Von Tressy pecked my eyeball out.
- [rooster crows.]
- Ew.
You owe me an apology.
Sorry.
My bad.
[laughing.]
I've been waiting 29 years to hear that.
You good? I'm good.
Hey, let me get you all something to drink.
- Okay, man.
- Oh, excuse me.
Hey, we're good.
[laughing.]
Oh my God.
Dad, is this you? VERNON: Yeah.
CHARLOTTE: You look so young and sober.
When are we gonna see your childhood haunts, Walt? Uh, probably right around never.
Vernon Brown! Vern F-ing Brown.
Mayor Ted.
Honor to meet you, Mayor Ted.
Oh well, my friends just call me Teddy Bear.
Hey, Teddy Bear.
I didn't mean you.
For the man of the hour.
Please respect the office of the mayor.
Okay.
You all call me Mayor Ted.
- Mayor Ted.
- Yes.
We we got people to do, we got places to go to.
Vernon Brown.
Look, everybody, Vernon Brown! Attach the crib end top A to the crib end by connecting slot A to B.
How the hell do you connect two slots? [clears throat.]
That, uh, for the baby? No, it's for me.
- I keep falling out of bed.
- Oh.
Ronnie, I'm kidding.
Yeah, I knew that.
I'll tell you what.
I'll help you out, but if the baby turns out not to be mine, I'm gonna back out every one of these screws.
Okay, Ronnie.
Instructions? Instructions are just one man's opinion.
Ronnie.
Oh, everybody, this is Towns Belfew.
He's the artist in residence here at Green Nook Community College.
And he is the sculptor who made your statue.
I do not make art.
I'm merely the vessel that reveals it.
Oh, that is my bad.
Aren't artists temperamental? I hope you enjoy the latest piece that revealed itself to me.
Oh! Don't you love it? I just love it.
DOILY: That's awesome.
Uh I like what you got going on in the face, torso.
Legs are cool.
Boots are cool.
But right in here looks a little I think what my dad is trying to say is you gave him a camel toe.
[laughs.]
It's camel toe.
It's camel toe.
Hey, Vernon, get next to that camel toe.
I wanna get a picture.
Tis a crease on the pants, nothing more.
Oh, look, chief, we gotta have a little wiggle room on my crotch.
I will not compromise [whispers.]
my vision.
Well, everybody, don't forget 3 o'clock.
The whole town is gonna be there to see it.
Mr.
Belfew.
We need an arc welder.
I know where we can get one, but it's not gonna be pleasant.
Come on.
RONNIE: Man, that's one kickass crib.
DEBBIE: I wish ours looked like that.
It doesn't seem totally safe.
About as safe as drunken boat sex with another man.
Ronnie I know I hurt you, but we have to figure out a way to move past this.
We all make mistakes.
I don't.
I think we're looking at one of yours right now.
Come on, could we just start fresh? Alright, alright.
Let's get some tape.
We're gonna beat this crib one way or another.
CHARLOTTE: Are you sure there's an arc welder here? WALT: I'm sure.
There's a lot of stuff here.
Okay.
Here we go.
Please don't judge me by the people you're about to meet.
Waltie! [laughing.]
I love you.
I miss you, and now I'm gonna kiss you.
[giggling.]
And then he finally hit the ball, and he ran to third instead of first.
ALL: [laughing.]
Honey, you want the sandwiches here? Oh my gosh, Walter! Walter! Oh, how are ya, son? I'm fine, Dusty.
Dah-ah, how many times I gotta tell ya, call me dad.
Every time, 'cause I never will.
He's such a kidder.
Hey, you must be Vernon Brown.
Wow.
I've heard a lot about you.
Innocent until proven guilty, I always say.
All of it good, I promise.
How are ya? Nice to see ya.
We're pleased as punch to have you guys here.
What do you do, Dusty? Me? I'm a counselor for at-risk teens.
Nobody cares, Dusty.
Don't be salty, Waltie.
Speaking of teens, you wanna see Walter's yearbook? Oh my gosh, oh, it's a hoot.
[laughs.]
Oh look, I spilled some tea.
Oh, no worries.
Let me get a towel.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry about Dusty, y'all.
Thought he'd never shut up.
What a jerk.
Yeah, what a nightmare.
Well, he's a picture of Walt as a cheerleader.
- Fun.
- Oh my God.
Oh, you've met my niece Frankie? Oh.
Frankie's staying in Walter's old room now.
Hi.
I'm Walter.
Walter Baines Murray.
I went through all your stuff.
I read your diary.
I know all your theories [indistinct whispering.]
.
I don't know how I feel about that.
That haiku that you wrote in the seventh grade called "The Meadow" was so powerful.
You are such a sensitive flower, Walt.
Okay, excuse me, y'all.
I gotta get to my old bedroom.
Well, actually, it's Frankie now.
It's not your bedroom to give away, Dusty.
Well, the guestroom is always open.
You know, in case you wanna come home anytime, son.
I don't wanna come, son Dusty.
- Dad.
- Dusty.
Papa! WALT: Still Dusty! It's always gonna be Dusty! Never gonna call you dad! Kid loves me.
What are you looking for? My arc welder.
Don't worry about it.
It's in the box under the blanket to the left.
Thank you.
Need help with anything else? No thank you.
Are you sure? Yep.
Do you believe in soulmates, Walt? Put your baby in me.
Nope, gotta go.
Alright, y'all, time to go.
Walt, do you need any help carrying anything? No, goodbye.
Come on, we gotta split.
Walt, you just got here.
Sorry, Mom, tight schedule.
Alright, we'll see at the statue unveiling.
Yeah, see ya there.
Pleasure to meet ya, yes.
Mwah.
Bye-bye, what a pleasure.
- It's a good crowd.
- I know.
Hey, check this out.
How do you like this shirt? Where in the sam hell did you get that picture? I took it when you were sleeping.
Alright, well, I should get going before it gets too crowded.
I wanna be in the front row for all the shenanigans! Vernon, I'm all set up, ready to go.
Well, where's the rest of the band? Oh, yeah, Mo and Carmen said they're not gonna do another gig until you pay 'em for the first one, so but I got pro tools.
Me and you, we'll be a two-man wrecking crew! - It'll be awesome! - Vernon! Oh, I thought you'd gone home.
Listen, once you finish your song, the statue will be unveiled for the whole town.
You're exact likeness forever and ever and ever.
Well, Mr.
Mayor, while I got you here, can I talk to you about the Welcome to Flatbushes' sign? Don't you feel like Flatbushes' favorite son should get top billing over a giant ball of dirt? You are so right.
The sign should read, "Welcome to Flatbushes: Home of Vernon Brown.
" And then, "World's Biggest Dirt Ball.
" I'm gonna get my people on that.
- [crowd cheering.]
- Hello, everybody.
Thank you all so much for coming.
There's a lot of eyeballs here, Vern.
Are you sure we can pull this off? Yeah, we can do it, man.
If it makes you feel any better, we'll go down together.
It does not make me feel any better.
You ready? Yeah.
Well, without further ado, a man who needs no introduction.
I guess he was being literal.
Hey, y'all, it's great to be with ya.
I can't believe I'm in the front row of a Burnin' Vernon concert.
[laughs.]
This is great.
This is a song I wrote a few years back about growing up here in Flatbushes.
I hope you all like it.
Back when I was young And I was just a kid Foolish things were done [indistinct yelling.]
Secrets that we hear Dad, save that song for people for care.
Just give them what they want.
I got you covered, Charlotte's Dad.
You got it.
I left Oklahoma drivin' in a Pontiac Just about to lose my mind [crowd cheering.]
I was goin' to Arizona maybe on to California Where the people all live so fine My baby said I's crazy My momma called me lazy [crowd cheering.]
Hey, you guys, I gotta get back to my spot! Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Hey, wait a minute! Livin' on Tulsa time Livin' on Tulsa time Hey, how's it coming? It's taking a while to heat up.
Because you know architectural bronze is 50% copper, 20% Okay, Walt, stop, save the science lesson for the ride home.
Okay.
I need more time.
CHARLOTTE: Okay, I'll stretch.
[crowd cheering.]
Uh, yep, perfect.
- Do you wanna do the honors? - Really? Good night, my child.
[wood creaks.]
Son of a [bleep.]
.
When you look into my eyes Tell me what do you see It's been a long time Since I've been mean I'm a human monster I'm a lost soul, I'm a freak, whenever you made me I gotta grave and I want your blood on my teeth So this is what you want then Shoot what I want, shaking what's up then Now we're ready to bust then Take everything, leave 'em with nothing They ain't gon' be no discussion We ain't talking no more, we 'bout to rush 'em Never thought see me coming Take everything, leave 'em with nothing Leave 'em with nothing Hey, I got nothing to lose, I got nothing to lose Take everything, leave 'em with nothing Oh, crap.
[crowd cheering.]
Thank you.
[crowd cheering.]
VERNON: Thank you all so much.
It's not good.
VERNON: Thank you, Flatbushes.
Walt, I don't know how much longer What are you doing? I need more time.
I got it.
No you don't.
VERNON: when I was growing up here.
Today, um, reminds me of What is this stuff? This is not bronze.
I love him.
I just love him.
- Isn't he so great? - What is he doing? They're here to see my artistic vision of Vernon Brown, not the actual Vernon Brown.
Well, he be finish little stop it.
- This is ridiculous.
- Oh.
It ends now.
People of Flatbushes I give you my pièce de résistance I call "Rising Star.
" [crowd gasping.]
BELFEW: A masterpiece.
Thank you, Flatbushes, and goodnight.
[tires squeal.]
[crash.]
RONNIE: Uh.
Thanks for all your help today.
Hey, anytime I get to burn stuff in the yard, it's a pretty good day.
It turned out to be kinda fun, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, it did.
How 'bout that whole starting fresh idea you were talking about? I'd like that.
Hi, my name's Ronnie.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Debbie.
Enchanté.
[brakes squeal.]
Oh boy.
Whoo-hoo! Yard fire, alright! That's right.
How was the trip? It was typical.
How was your day? It was nice.
Yeah.
Hey, Vern, check it out.
Whoa.
Where'd you find this? An old box of crap that Dusty threw in my closet.
Oh my God, that's our old song book.
It's some good stuff in here.
Uh-ah.
Speaking of good stuff, look what your daddy left me.
You know he would want me to save this.
He'd probably want you to share it with his son.
Well, speaking of sharing things.
This is for you, Little Missy.
[groans.]
What? When did you even have time You earned it.
You saved my butt up there today.
No way, I love it so much.
But you didn't have to.
You're welcome.
Wait, where's Doily? Take your shirt off! I mean, he looks good with his shirt off.