The Sopranos s02e04 Episode Script

Get out of the way.
Remember to say please.
I can't watch this again.
This is the dvd.
This is the advanced bootleg.
these are the alternate takes.
What, are you gonna call coppola with ideas on how to fix it? I do not believe this.
Ho! Oh, c'mon.
The disk is in there! You know what scene i love most? "It was you, fredo.
" Ton', you gonna go see your uncle first if you decide to go over there? Yeah.
That would be smart.
Fucking disk! Somebody should tell paramount pictures to get their shit together.
We're gonna be stealing thousands more of these things.
So, how was junior last time you saw him? His life is about motrin these days.
Ton', what's your favorite scene? I can't have this conversation again.
Hit eject! Don ciccio's villa, when vito goes back to sicily.
The crickets, the great old house.
Oh, it's fucking beautiful.
Maybe'cause i'm going over there, you know? I was in the army signal corp.
What this thing needs is what we call a brogan adjustment.
What's that, you know how? Yep.
This is "1010 wins".
You give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world.
temperatures are expected to drop tomorrow after another scorching day in the city.
Right now it's 96 degrees at Caldwell, laguardia's 94, and it's 98 in central park and on the upper east side great.
It's like this every Sunday and every Sunday you say "great", like it's the first time.
Could we please lower the air conditioning? I'm doing it for godsake! I just got this car.
I'm not familiar with the instrument panel.
Get up out the fucking car! Take the car, take the car! Get the fuck out the car! You nasty bitch, get the fuck out of here! Smack the shit out of you.
Go! Okay, okay, okay! Churchill, Churchill! Damnit, man.
Sic'em, churchill! Evan, no! Sic'em, churchill! C'mon, Churchill.
Churchill.
Fucking niggers.
Barry! Who else, huh? Who else? West Essex orthopedic group.
Mr.
Soprano? Okay if my nephew comes in? He's got some questions for the doc about my hip and all.
Of course.
The doctor will be right with you.
Perhaps your nephew can help you with your clothes.
You want some help? I'm not gonna take my pants off until i know this prick is gonna x- ray me again.
Hurts like the fucking pit and the pendulum just to wipe myself.
So what do you want to talk about? Going over to the other side.
See that friend of ours over there.
On.
My car operati lose the miserable puss, it's mine now.
What's your question? Our friend, what's he like to deal with? What's he like? Yeah.
I only met him one time.
He came over on "the Michelangelo", 1961.
now, that was traveling.
The fucking Italian line.
the food, the service, are you kidding me? We had some bon voyage party's on that boat.
He's a serious man, zi vittorio.
Serious how? You know what i mean.
Heads up, sonny boy.
He don't listen to opera, vittorio, which is a fucking break.
Isn't he like a distant cousin of ours? It's so far removed by now tonto's a closer cousin to you.
We deal with him through a guy named furio giunta, he speaks english.
Going to italy, huh? Yeah.
Nice, i never went.
it's not over yet.
And we don't get to go? You got school.
What about mom? She knows it's a business trip.
Don't you think she might like a little interlude, just the two of you? You know when we'd like a little interlude, just the two of us? Right now.
Not my idea to have me set the table.
Carm, you want me to help with the roast? It's right there on the counter.
Carm, it's a business trip.
Okay? It is, it's not worth the jet lag.
Did i say anything? God! Naples, Ischia and cap And, oh, the food.
Shit.
look, i know last year, tom and barb, the trip to the Bahamas, i said i didn't have time.
You didn't.
It was football season.
Meadow, can you tell your brother dinner's ready? It's our busiest months.
Junior's last shipment went to naples two months ago.
two cars to a container.
Junior had to give the operation over to who, specifically? Ray curto.
Okay, good work, sal.
There's something else you should know.
They're talking like the molitsanti kid might get his button.
Tony, where's he at with junior these days? They ain't spoke in months.
Are you bein' straight with me? Oh, pussy! What the fuck? How's it going, colonel? How you doing, jimmy? What'd i hear, you were in Puerto Rico? I was playing there on ce during the hurricanes, never again, i said.
Jimmy, let me introduce you to a friend of ours.
This is joey from dover, Delaware.
No shit! I live in dover, here, jersey.
That's right, i forgot.
Joey, know where they got the name dover from? The cliffs, I'm assuming.
That's right, very good.
Jimmy, does it fucking matter? Joey, i knew this guy when he had social graces.
It's for Marisa's oldest's sixth birthday.
The kids are all grown, aren't they puss, what are ya doin' here? It's my daughter's birthday.
I'm picking up some shit for a bachelor party.
I'm trying to think.
Did i ever meet any connected guys from Delaware? That fucking box looks heavy.
The answer is no, no, no.
Alright look, i got to go fellows.
Joey.
Nice to meet you.
you, Mr.
Rude cocksucker, see you around baby.
Motherfucker, motherfucker! Take it easy , that went fine.
He saw me with you.
You come all the way to a fucking party store and still somebody's got to see you? Sal listen , that went fine.
Just know this, you're doing a good job.
You must be so relieved pussy is back.
You must be so happy.
Was a long time.
Did he ever tell you where he was? Oh, he don't like to worry me.
Not even a card? That's got to be a worry.
It's horrible.
Anyway, you must be so happy.
We're back to our old routine.
Ah, i love this song.
Mmm.
Oh honey, i know, your Jackie.
Listen to me, going on about how happy i am and you a widow.
Que sera sera.
What will be will be.
God, he's so handsome, this guy too.
He's blind, you know.
Jesus Christ! Angie.
My god.
I'm sure he's adjusted to it.
Christ, you fucking idiot, Rosalie! I'm not happy sal is back.
Angie! I'm sad and depressed.
I've thought of killing myself.
Fucking nosy? Eat your monigott'.
God forgive me.
When he did come home that day, i was upstairs, i heard the door and then his voice, "i'm home.
" I fucking wanted to vomit.
After all that worrying he might be dead, praying he was okay.
My heart just sank, i wished-- he had died.
Oh.
To just come and go year after year like that.
How dare he! Have you reached out to him? That's a good one.
Listen, and i don't want my kids to know this.
They found a lump under my arm.
Oh my god.
They biopsed it, i get the results in a couple days.
Anyway, i told sal, he said,"Jesus Christ", kind of alarmed a little.
Then he went back to doin' whatever the fuck he was doin'.
Spraying wd- 40 on his pocket knife.
Hasn't asked me how i am.
Touch my face, or something when he comes in.
So angie, what are you gonna do? Benign, malignant, i'm getting a divorce.
Look at this place.
The mother country.
Here, they make it real.
Vesuvius, jesus, who's gonna tell artie that mural he spent that money on looks like a used trojan compared to this? You notice the women? Know what i realized on the plane? Even the skanks are worth fucking! Those were my feelings too.
Paison, tutto gli whaddya call it.
.
.
Hey, you did alright.
Two definite agendas i got , hit the topless beaches and see that fucking crater.
I don't care what anybody says, i'm there.
Look at this fucking place.
It's been here a thousand years.
Anthony check out the bank.
Anthony soprano.
Ah.
Ye hey how are you? This is the friend of ours sil and me been talking to.
This is Paulie , this is Christopher.
My boss nino say you can fresh up, maybe little sleep, then we will will pick you up at eight.
And he will meet us for fare la business.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Nino? I mean, i never heard of-- i'm sure he's a nice guy and everything.
But vittorio will be there, right? Maybe no.
Commendatori, you are already checked in.
Commendatori, like a commander, i like that, that's respect.
So did you hear? You're talking about the bonpenseiros, right? Hang on gab, call waiting, it may be tony from Italy.
Hello? I didn't sleep a wink last night, my god, isn't this awful? Did you tell Franny altieri? Ooh no, she's gonna shit when she hears this.
What time Christopher say he'd get here? He's got that titanium club i wanted to give to don v.
Ow.
Any time n he was just going down to corso to buy a gift for adrianna.
Nino say we always ask your uncle for more cars, but he was no supplier.
That why I'm here.
tell him we can fill any orders.
And also mention, no offense, we were hoping zi vittorio would be here.
Anything you want to talk to vittorio about that i don't know? No.
Nino is a little disappointed in your attitude of him.
Mi dispiace, nino i'm sure that i'll learn much, doing business with a man like you.
It's an honor.
He said-- nino is happy to be at your disposal.
My uncle's problem was he went to the russians in brooklyn, rs.
Too much for the ca now, they kept the best stuff for themself, shipped it off to st.
Petersburg.
Slovenia and montenegro, they got people over there that profited from those conflicts.
They got fuckin' bails of liquid cash.
You got contacts in the markets over there.
Ton', you try this octopus yet? I'm talking here.
You're like a fucking child.
With the food and the pussy, what's going on here, paulie? This is a bi g thing to me, t.
I was never over here, okay? My brother was and my other brother the doctor was, it.
With all his bullsh how mucha you charge- a un car? Mercedes ml series, very popular.
In eastern europe you can sell this car for 110, my price to you, It's manufactured in America.
What did he fucking say? Io.
That's don vittor Anthony soprano.
Don vittor io, it's an honor.
Wheelchair, aboolebarda! Think-- something's wrong with the wheelchair.
He say "wheelchair boulevard".
My name is annalisa.
I am his daughter.
Piacere.
Piacere, tony.
Psst.
George- a Washington- a, bridge- a.
Ge.
Right, very good, George Washington brid ton', you give this guy a golf club.
he'll probably try to fuck it.
I come three thousand fucking miles, you never said nothing about this guy nino, all of a sudden he's my blind date? Nino was in hide from the police until two day ago.
I don't even think mauro zucca now he's here.
Who the fuck is Mauro zucca? Mauro zucc a run this family.
Obviously, zi vittorio.
Then i should be talking to mauro zucca.
Mauro zucca is serving a life sentence.
Hey you, come here.
Re.
Yes, signo can i just get some macaroni and gravy? Paulo, he doesn't know what you says, you mean grapes? Uva? Gravy, gravy, tomato sauce.
Nino, he's insecure.
It effects everything he says, capice? I will talk on the sid e to the ear of annalisa.
What the fuck good is that gonna do? She is the wife of mauro zucca.
Camillo, where's the pisciadood? Down the stairs, go left.
Ma- jor- digan expressa- way.
Right, major deegan expressway.
I'm sorry if he's hassle you.
You spend a lot of time in the states? Papa went, i never been, english from school, e filmsa.
When could we get a chance to talk? Come to our house, stay a while.
I will personally give you a tour of the surroundings area.
Avellino? Where your family's from.
I don't want to put you out.
No, you should have been guest to our house.
But with my father condition now.
I send you the car at nine? Fine.
ton'.
I look forward to it, excuse me.
I'm gonna hoof it back to the excelsior.
I got to take a wicked shit.
Can you stop fucking interrupting me? We've been offered a ride here, you now how these people are about formalities, why didn't you use the one in there? I didn't have to go then.
It's just a kid.
The kid only got firecrackers on him.
We're gettin' ready to eat.
Oh yeah, forgot it was dinner time for you.
How's Italy? The time change and everything.
I forgot , sorry.
How's Italy? Got to be honest with you.
Pretty freaking good we'll have to come back here.
Yeah, right.
So how's the food? It's okay, lots of fish.
sounds like you're working too hard.
why don't you take the kids down to great wall , get some chinese? Me.
You know tony, don't tell me how to spend my ti if i want the excitement of chinese food, i don't need your permission.
It's not permissio n, it's just an idea.
You know what ? fine, i'll hang up.
Well if the trip is as bland as this phone call.
There's nothing going on.
What do you want me to say to you, seriously? You better not say what you saw, jimmy.
I shove that elvis shit right up your ass.
I'll shove a rutabaga in your mouth jimmy.
Keep you quiet.
Re.
A turn ip in the sal! You're having a nightmare.
I think it was the fuckin' shrimp hors d'oeuvres on the plane.
Get some immodium.
You want to get made , this is no fucking way.
Tony wants us to hang with nino, work out the dock facilities.
I hope we get some spare time.
I'm gonna see that fuckin' volcano.
Oh, ho , gratzie.
Hey.
Hey.
Us.
This song, jes listen, I've been to Italy many times and really, you're not missing all that much.
The amount of sexual harassment that i was subjected to.
I went one time with my friend zane.
Her, they didn't bother, me, they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.
Much less the whistling and the fucking hooting.
It's not Italy.
Do you remember angie bonpensiero? Angie belfiore married sal bonpensiero.
Right, she's thinking of divorcing him.
Halle- fucking- lujeh! Do you know them? No i don't know them , but to be married to a man like that.
A man like what? The'tude and the fucking medieval outlook.
He is such an adoring father though.
Three beautiful kids they raised, who are now from a broken home.
Ilk no sons i hope, three more of his we don't need.
He's very macho.
Macho, no, try swaggering mama's boy, fucking hypocrites, shall we? Hypocrites? Carm, come on stop.
Just stop.
Is that how you see your brother? I thought we were talking about angie.
I mean these o .
c.
pricks especially, with their goomahs and their prostitutes, emotional cripples.
And they expect t their wives to live like the fucking nuns at mt.
Carmel college.
It's not that simple.
Of course not.
Madonna/whores is the full equation i believe.
Clothes, appliances, houses.
You are talking about me.
About us.
No.
Carmella, ow.
I don't kn that a woman of your intelligence, is content to ask so little from life and from herself.
I don't know, it's none of my business.
Marriage is a holy sacrament.
Ay.
Ok family is a sacred institution.
Roger.
And you trying to fan the flames with richie aprile, of all people? Talk about old school.
Carm, Richie, because of h is life experience in prison, he has a sensitivity to the plight of women.
Oh my god! I am not even gonna touch that one.
But you had me going for a while there, you really did.
Oh Janice honey, i got to love ya.
Nice shot.
I shank him.
It's a man's club.
I'll send you one your size.
Whole set.
So tony, you don't mind me calling you tony? What can i do for you? Well you can introduce me to the boss.
You ca n talk to me.
A fuckin' woman boss? So what do you want? Never happen in the states.
Never.
Our men kill each other.
All my brothers, for example, they all got murdered.
Or they go to prison.
Rome has a war against us.
But our men are in love to their mama.
So being a woman is not-- come se dic', comes natural.
We'll i'll be dipped in shit.
You go around like your father's nursemaid.
I am my father's nursemaid.
Well if an old man carries the respect of troops, you keep him around.
I did something like that myself.
We're cousins.
You hungry? I could eat.
So, you wanted to talk about business.
Can i ask you a question? We not gonna pay the price on the mercedes.
Why do you save your toenail clippings? Why, you want them? Il, if your enemy comes into possession of your na or your hair clippings, they can make the evil on you.
I'm flattered you wouldn't trust me with your toenails, but can i pass without ruining the moment? I alread y burned them.
Em.
Nobody gets th commendatori.
Bon giorno.
Cocksuckers.
A lot of guys today, they come soft living in america.
One in five guys, they're a fucking rat.
You can't find anybody over there that believes in the old ways, keeping silent, putting the family first.
Ys.
So you want naples' gu fucking clairvoyant over here.
That way i get guys with no ties to anybody over there they belong only to me, What? What do i get? Well, you get an obvious advantage to havin' your guys in that end.
How much you pay me for this man? Pay you? Your profitability is gonna go way up.
What are you thinking? Furio to start.
Furio! Back up, take it easy.
I'm going to give yo u one of my best men.
And all i get is a bunch of numbers in air.
With all due respect, i think you're being a little short- sighted on this.
He's my cousin, he's one of my best men.
Forget about it, it's not going to happen.
I'm asking you nice.
Or what? Hey look, i don't even think you understand.
I want you to talk to your husband about this.
My husband , fuck you! He is never coming back.
So you have to fucking deal with me! Up your ass.
Oh, you're up.
Where's my other belt? You look under the bed? Fuck, yeah.
I just came from the doctor's office.
Ah.
Ye the biopsy came back negative.
Yeah good, I'll be back later.
Pussy.
Ah.
Ye what the fuck you doing here? I was in the neighborhood.
That bachelor party, they're looking for some entertainment.
A sett', you want coffee? Nah, I'm good.
C'mon, it's on the boil.
Ah.
Ye boss say to tell you one hour, manigamo, dinner.
Manigamo, i want to get the fuck out of here.
You drive me to the city? Sure, absolutely.
I have to ask.
What's it like, working for a woman? Whaddya gonna do? A woman boss! In America you don't have? No.
What? Ayy! Tony! Tony! Yeah, come down to eat.
Jesus Christ, is that all your people do? The lunch we had would jam a wood chipper.
We need to finish our business.
I said all i'm gonna say.
Alright, i'm coming down.
Vincenz Indigestion, right? Cheers.
So what is this place? My father was born in this house.
Later we mache the new one.
You're born here, and your kids are raised next door.
That's a nice thing.
You take good care of your father.
Do, what are you going send him to a ospizio? Hey, listen this one has to stay with until he goes to sleep.
I'll take you back in the morning.
Goodnight.
It was horrible what he did.
I might as well have fucking cancer.
So what did the lawyer say today? He said i have a good case, we're filing Tuesday.
So your gonna take monda y to think, that's good.
Monday's a jewish holiday.
Oh.
I'm finished thinking.
Hell, i thought myself into fuckin' nonexistence.
Well, you are not nonexistent, And pussy doesn't see you that way.
fuck what he sees! Not anymore, it's what i see.
God gave me more years, Carmela.
This very morning god gave me a gift, and i will use that gift.
I won't waste it, like i wasted with this man.
You know what the church says about divorce.
Oh please, let the pope live with him.
Well, what about the kids? Up.
They're 19, 21, and 24, it's time we all grew Kevin is just starting his sophomore year at college.
Aren't you worried he's gonna realize, the two stayed together waiting for him to leave? Long as he don't loose his privileges at our house down the shore, that's all Kevin cares about.
He's so fond of his father, that's all I'm saying.
And terry and Scott with the money problems, and the pregnancy, this is really the example you want to set, when your daughter is struggling very hard to keep her new marriage in one piece? Why you workin' this hard, Carmela? Why? For all of the reasons i just said.
Because you're my friend, I'm not even sayin' don't.
I'm just sayin' at the very least, you got to ask yourself these questions.
Terri, they're not even sure she's gonna be able to have children of her own.
Sal began to cry when he heard that.
Oh, honey.
In the end, i know you're not gonna leave him.
I know you won't do that.
Commendatori , bon giorno.
I'm from america.
Hey cara mia, on the way back bring me one of those plums from the breakfast tray.
Cosa? Never mind.
I got to hand it to ya.
Re.
Great fruit you got he che bell a fruti.
None of them fucking steroids.
come se dic' , steroids? Steroide.
There ya go.
Who said you're not a great conversationalist? Ya fuckin' twat.
There's my little fragolin'.
Ah- ah.
Ah.
Hey, the customer is always right.
Did i say you should leave? You know my grandfather was napoletan', gran- pappa mio.
He went to America in 1910.
Three thousand miles.
Un ragazzo, un piccolo bambino, all by himself.
Yep, i'm napoletan'.
Me and tony both.
some of the guys are sigilian'.
Sigilian', se.
Hard- headed bastards, am i right? So, what part of naples you from? Ariani el pino.
Ariani el pino? your shitting me! That's where my grandfather's from! Ariani el pino, se'.
We come from the same town.
Our families probably knew each other.
The island back there is called progeda.
Madonn', look at this.
got to bring my kids back here.
Show'em all this.
In the olden time the sibylla of cumae was the second most important oracle after delphi.
I thought delphi was in greece.
The greeks were here.
Way before the romans, and before the greeks there were somebody else, and before them somebody else.
"The rulers would come from across the ancient world, "to hear the sibyl's predictions of the future.
She would sit inside the cave inhaling gases.
" I think i dated this broad.
"Possibly volcanic though no longer active, "and would speak in a voice not her own, delivering unto them their fates.
" Let's go into the cave.
The sibyl sat way back there, see that shaft of light? Some fucking trip.
The sibyl were very beautiful, in most case.
Oh yeah, got a premonition for me? You, you're no problem to read.
You are your own worst enemy.
Oh, is that right? Tell you right now you remind me of somebody from back home.
Not your wife, your girlfriend? Oh, i got one, to answer your question.
But no, not her.
But, she's someone you want to fuck.
I can tell.
Oh really.
You know, everybody's their own worst enemy.
So maybe your psychic power has been overrated a little bit.
You don't want to fuck her? You don't want to fuck me? Yeah, i do.
But i don't shit where i eat.
Que cosa? Non fare la merdo dove it's bad business, we're in business.
Not at those price.
Alright.
You give me furio and I'll work down the price of the cars to 85.
Posto, okay.
I get more guys, on my timetable.
Okay.
Hey, thanks! So, how the fuck was it? Fabulous, i felt right at home.
That's great.
real good business- wise.
I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't been.
Especially any Italians.
Someday.
Don't put it off another second, pus.
Alright, i fucking heard you.
Where the fuck is Christopher? He's in the duty free buying a gift for ade.
Four days, he's a block away from the greatest shopping district in the world.
Why the fuck didn't he think of it then? A broad.
An.
He found out who got eight great tomatoes in that little bitty c oh fuck him, leave him here.
Go, let's drive.
What's the matter, tony? Nothin'.
I tell you we do real good business- wise? I got fuckin' double on those cars.
Here he comes.
Hey, c'mon! Hello, I'm home! hbo communications center