True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e04 Episode Script

True Jackson VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
And present to good morning.
Ryan, you shouldn't have.
I didn't.
They're not for you.
Ryan, you shouldn't have.
They're not for you, either.
They're for Kelsey.
I figure, now that we're dating you're not dating.
You know what I mean.
I don't think anyone knows what you mean.
Oh, Ryan, I don't want you to panic or anything, but I think there's a bee in those flowers.
Yeah, right, like there's really a bee in There's a bee in the flowers! Aah! Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
Calm down! Well, Kelsey's not gonna want these.
Here, I got these for you.
Hey, Ryan, you should join the drama club.
Why would I wanna do that? Kelsey's in it.
She is? What is it? What do you do? What do you think you do? It's a drama club.
The first meeting's tomorrow.
I'm so excited to do costumes.
Usually, I have to sew them all by hand.
But this is the first year, I've got a factory on hold.
I hope we pick a romantic play this year, so Mikey J.
Can play my boyfriend and we can have a scene where we finally, finally kiss, aah! Sorry, I'll fix that.
I thought you told me you and Mikey J.
Kissed.
I lied.
Then what about the day you went on that romantic carriage ride? Didn't happen, made it up.
And the time you went to the top of the empire state building and watched the sunset? Saw it in a movie.
I think it was hilary duff.
Wait, I don't want Kelsey kissing anyone.
Maybe, I'd better join this little club and keep an eye on her.
Why don't you help true with costumes? Oh, yeah, right.
Like I wanna spend my days being around people making clothes.
What do you think mad style is? It's a magazine, right? It's okay, I don't need your help anyway.
I've got everything completely under control.
True! Have you seen the muffin guy? No.
And why did you call my name? Sorry, I just really want a muffin.
Did someone punch a hole in the wall? It was Ryan.
I'm sorry, what? Hey, Amanda, do you wanna come see our school play? Is benicio del toro in it? No.
Then I'll pass.
Come on, it'll be fun.
The truth is I haven't set foot in a theater since I was a little girl.
It's a painful story.
Okay, maybe next time.
I was eight years old and the lead in my school's production.
A little play entitled, the four food groups.
I portrayed "dairy.
" The curtain went up and there I stood, frozen in place, unable to speak.
Felt like minutes were passing by, but later, I was told it was closer to an hour.
It was horrible.
But I suppose everyone's had an experience like that.
Not me.
Me neither.
Not even close.
I see.
Uh, fix the wall, yes? And clean up these buttons.
Someone could get hurt.
Ah, I hate how grownups are always telling us to be careful.
Whoa! Hey, it's the muffin guy.
Get me a low-fat blueberry.
From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard just used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new vp I'm a little nervous about auditioning.
Was I supposed to prepare something? Do I have to sing? I'm not really sure how it works.
Don't worry, Mikey J.
, you're gonna do great.
All you need to do is wait and see what part I get and then sign up for whatever character kisses her.
Are you psyched to find out what play we're doing this year? Totally.
Last year my whole part was standing in the background, pretending I was talking.
Well, I can't wait for drama club this year.
It's gonna be great.
What's up, losers? Maybe I spoke too soon.
Pinky, what are you doing here? Getting my drama on.
Padding out my transcript that sort of thing.
Well, I don't wanna be rude, but this club is for people who really wanna be here.
Let's get this over with, shall we? Miss park? Hello, everyone.
Due to budget cuts, I've been put in charge of the drama club.
Unfortunately, I know as much about drama as I know about varsity football, which I'm also now in charge of.
Go lions.
Go lions.
Yes, Lulu? What play are we doing this year? Can it be something romantic? I want to do something I don't have to take my skates off for, like great expectations, on skates.
How about pippin? On skates.
Or Chicago? On skates.
Then it's decided.
What is? It doesn't sound like we decided on anything.
Yeah, what play are we doing? You could do my play.
Ryan, we're in the middle of a meeting.
Silence! I present to you, the gritty true-life saga of two of America's most infamous criminals: Bonnie and Clyde.
Boom! That's your math book.
Yes, it is.
Hold on a sec.
Boom! When did you write a play? Last night in the tub.
You wrote a play in one night? You took a bath? Yes and sort of.
Well, I think Bonnie and Clyde sounds like fun.
Yeah, it does.
I'll be Bonnie and Mikey J.
Can be Clyde.
And I'll do costumes.
No, I will.
What? Since when do you know anything about costumes? I know everything about costumes.
I'm a teen fashion designer.
I'm a teen fashion designer.
Then it's settled, the two of you can do costumes together.
You said what now? Now who wants to direct it? Aren't you going to? No, I don't have time.
Did I mention that I'm also the janitor now? I will direct it.
What? I will be your director.
Hey, Spielberg, your zipper's down.
Made you look.
What do you think of this dress for Bonnie? Ah, it's perfect.
Really? No, it looks like two wolves got into a tug-of-war with a potato sack.
Let me see yours.
It's not a hundred percent done, but you get the gist.
What is that, a tree? A lollipop? It's Bonnie and/or Clyde.
I'm gonna win an Oscar.
Why are you dng this? Am I bothering you? Yes.
That's why I'm doing it.
Hello, robot.
Oh, it's you.
Yeah, and since you're not my boss anymore, I don't have to be nice to you.
You were never nice to me.
Now what are you doing here? Working with true on costumes for our school play.
If you give me your credit card for 20 minutes, I'll get you some tickets.
Thank you, no.
If you must know, something traumatic happened to me the last time I was in a theater.
Let me guess, somebody complained because they couldn't see past your giant metal head? It was a cold night, but the air was still.
As I stood motionless, I remember thinking at any moment the words would come.
But none did.
And then it happened.
Boo! Sometimes I still hear it in my nightmares.
I suppose you heard the whole story? It was a cold night, but the air was stil29.
.
Whoa, what's that smell? It's this Indian food.
It's a seven on a pepper meter.
Anything over five is not meant for human consumption.
You like Indian food? I do not.
But since I became a famous director, I decided I'd start living on the edge.
What are you directing? School play.
If you need any help, let me know.
I'm pretty good at designing sets.
Really? You know about set design? Yeah, it's one of my passions, right after mail, drumming, street poetry and competitive barbecuing.
Competitive barbecuing? It's the fastest growing team sport in America.
My team's called "grill daddy and the pit crew.
" That's a silly name.
Take it back.
I take it back.
So that stuff's pretty spicy, huh? Nah, I don't know why it's a seven on the pepper meter.
It's more like a four.
It's a seven.
Afternoon, ma'am, we'd like to make a withdrawal.
For how much? All of it.
This is a holdup.
Please don't hurt me.
We won't hurt you, as long as you do exactly as we Sam.
It's a typo, just keep going.
One day you'll tell your grandkids about the hot summer afternoon when you were robbed by Bonnie and Clyde.
It was a great scene, guys.
That was perfect.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I wanna play Bonnie.
Done.
What? That's my part.
Sidebar.
Come on, Lulu, help me out here.
I realli like her.
But I wanna play Bonnie.
You can play the bank teller.
In many ways, she's the most important character.
Yeah, but she doesn't kiss Clyde, Bonnie does.
Not anymore.
Now Clyde kisses the bank teller.
Alright, everyone back to work.
What do you think of this? It's a suit for Clyde.
It should be pink.
Pink? That doesn't really go with the era.
Your face is an error.
Look, I know you don't like me, but can we just try to get along until we finish the costumes? Why would you think that I don't like you? You left this on my desk.
I'm so embarrassed.
That wasn't for you.
It wasn't? If you must know, I wrote that to myself because sometimes I don't like the person I see in the mirror.
Really? No, it was for you.
I walked right into that one.
Okay, let's start with the bank scene.
And action! Where's Clyde? Sorry, I was in the restroom.
Okay, listen up, genius.
You don't wanna be here, there are a million other kids who would kill for your spot.
I want to be here.
Well, it doesn't seem that way.
Now, get it together! Ryan, I've got the sets for you to check out.
Awesome.
Wow, is this Clyde's suitcase? No, it's the bank set.
Look through the windows.
Check out the detail on the bank manager's fedora.
This is really small.
Thank you.
Now, what do you think about the bank vault? Should I put the hinges on the other side? I'm kinda getting a headache here, Jimmy.
Why'd you have to make it so little? Dana, juice box! What do you think of the wood paneling in the manager's office? Oh, it's all good.
Look, I gotta get back to rehearsing.
Let me get that model back.
I'm gonna put a couple more pencils in the desk drawer.
Okay, let's take it from where we were.
And action! Cut! What happened? You just opened the door with your right hand.
The bank teller was left-handed.
So? So, you're ruining the historical accuracy of the play.
Kelsey's drinking grape soda.
She's not gonna be doing that during the scene.
I might.
I love it, great choice.
Okay, people, back to one.
The bank's boring.
Where's the scene where Bonnie tries on clothes and dances? I want to dance.
Absolutely.
Any other thoughts on the script? Clyde should be my Butler.
That is exactly what I was thinking.
Sidebar.
Hey, goof ball, where's the scene where I kiss Clyde? I haven't written it yet.
Write it soon.
I will.
You better.
Ryan, can we show you our ideas for the costumes? Sure.
Now, we didn't exactly see eye to eye, so we're each going to present our own.
I'll go first because true's designs will probably make you throw up out of your eyes.
I designed this for Bonnie.
It's pink, which is the color of royalty.
Okay.
I modeled mine after an actual dress Bonnie wore in a photo I found, but I put my own touches on it, like the lace on the sleeves.
Wow, I mean, they're both really good.
However, the pink one stinks.
I'm afraid you're fired.
What? Come on, pinky, he had to choose one of us and I am a professional, uh-huh.
Oh, you're fired, too.
What? Kelsey! I didn't say anything.
How can he fire me from wardrobe? I design clothes for a living.
You know what we should do? We should get revenge.
Like how? Ruin the play.
I don't wanna do that to Ryan.
He's still a really good friend.
True, you're never gonna get anywhere in this world being so nice.
I'm a 16-year-old vice president of a fashion company.
Who just got fired from a High School play.
Doesn't that make you mad? A little.
A little? Okay, a lot.
That's the spirit.
Now let's go drag Ryan into the street and grind his bones into bread.
It's possible you're angrier than me.
Hi, miss park.
What? I said, "hi, miss park.
" Oh, hi.
Do you believe in revenge? Absolutely, not.
Who are we talking about, Ryan? He fired us from the play.
Oh, I'm sorry, but I've got bigger fish to fry, literally.
I'm also working in the cafeteria.
Miss park, please, we need your advice.
Well, I suppose your only options are talking it out calmly and reasonably or getting revenge.
Well, now that I've said it out loud, there really seems to be only one option.
The second one.
Miss park.
Somebody threw up in the multipurpose room? I'll get my sawdust.
So what do you think, true? You ready to join me on the dark side? What do you have in mind? You know that scene where Kelsey sits in the chair? We'll put sticky stuff on it and she'll be all, "I'm stuck.
" What are you rejects still doing here? Ryan fired you.
Yeah, but we still go to school, remember? I'm telling Ryan.
What kind of sticky stuff are we talking about? Welcome to the dark side.
Ten minutes till show time, everybody, get in your places.
Why is my microphone not working? I'm going to lose my voice.
Very nice.
Go for it.
What do you think? Too much? Maybe a teeny bit more.
Hey, Jimmy.
Do you mind if I sit with you? No, I was kind of hoping I'd see you here.
I'm excited to see your sets.
They're not my sets anymore.
Kelsey had Ryan fire me because I laughed when she mispronounced rhubarb.
How'd she pronounce it? Ra-hub-dard.
She said it like 10 times in a row.
Man, this is the first school play I've been to that I wasn't working on backstage.
I know you're bummed, but the costume department's loss is my gain.
I get to sit next to you.
Scoot over, stretch.
I can't wait for "operation sticky butt.
" Thank you for coming.
May I ask anyone with a trendy ringtone to turn off your cellphone? This means lady gaga and nickelback.
And now, without further ado, I present this year's drama club production of, Bonnie and Clyde.
This is the real-life story of two of America's most notorious criminals.
Warning, it may get grisly Well, well, well, looks like a nice day for stealing, if I, Clyde barrow, do say so myself.
What do you think, Bonnie Parker? I'm bored.
Where's my robbing hat? Um, robbing hat? Yeah, you're my Butler.
Go get my robbing hat.
Who would have thought when I was born on march 24, 1909, that I'd grow up to be a grass roots folk hero? Certainly, not any of my six brothers and sisters, or my father, who was a simple farmer.
Hey, Jenny k.
I can't wait until she sits on the sticky chair.
And gets hit by all that stuff.
Yeah.
Hit by what stuff? You know, the bucket of filth I rigged to fall on her head.
When diyou do that? Right after I wired those two confetti cannons to explode in her face.
What? Don't worry, I'll give you half credit.
I don't want any credit.
I didn't sign up for this.
That was an amazing bank robbery, Bonnie Parker.
How many is that for us now? I sure hope the day doesn't come when we get ambushed in a car.
Oh, calm down, Clyde.
You're always worrying.
Why don't you have some ra-hub-dard pie? Ra-hub-dard.
It's time to plan our next, but hopefully not last, caper.
Hello? Nothing, what are you doing? Sure, I can see a movie.
Where are you going? The play's not over? Oh, that was my mom, she's sick.
Your mom's in the audience.
Oh.
Kelsey, if you walk out that door, I will never forgive you.
I'm sorry, but I have to.
Then we're over.
Oh, who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at you.
Go have fun at the movies.
What do I do? Just keep going.
But I can't do the play without Bonnie.
Did somebody call me, Bonnie Parker, the flaxen-haired daughter of a Texas bricklayer? I'm so glad you're here, Bonnie.
Let's plan our next heist 'cause we're Bonnie and Clyde.
This thing is a train wreck.
They should put it on nbc.
That's my dress.
Lulu's wearing my dress.
Well, I hope you like it covered with slime and confetti because that's what's coming next.
We'll hide the getaway car in the alley.
If something goes wrong and we get separated, meet me at the old minton farm.
Nothing's gonna happen to us.
We're Bonnie and Clyde.
This is so good.
True, come back here.
Telegram for Bonnie Parker.
I'm Bonnie Parker.
True, what's going on? Important message, urgent, stop.
Don't sit on the chair.
Stop.
What's a chair stop? There's a problem with the chair.
Let me get rid of it for you, ma'am.
Extry, extry, don't move that chair.
Get out of here.
You're gonna ruin the play.
That's the point, remember? You're on the dark side.
I quit the dark side.
Now get out of here.
- You get out of here.
- You get out of here.
Uh-uh, I'm not going anywhere.
Uh-oh.
And then Bonnie and Clyde drove off in a car and were killed.
The end.
Thank you so much for coming, everyone.
Exit out the side doors only, please.
Thank you, thank you.
When I thanks.
When I started this project, I wanted to portray Bonnie and Clyde with dignity and there's a bee in the flower! Are you sure you were stung by a bee? Yes, I'm sure.
Well, you can't tell.
Thank goodness, I'm taking my yearbook photo today.
Mm-hmm.
There might be a little swelling, but I doubt anyone's gonna notice.
Whoa! What happened to your face? Lulu, let me find a mirror.
So what happened with pinky and the sticky chair? The bad news is they weren't able to get it off.
But the good news is she'll always have somewhere to sit.
I could have been the one stuck to that chair.
Thanks for saving me.
No problem.
And you know, you did a really great job in the play.
I'm pretty happy with my performance.
I'm just bummed the show ended before my big scene.
Oh, when you Rob the point pleasant bank? No, when I was supposed to kiss Mikey J.
Oh well, there'll be other plays.
No worries.
Augh! Sorry, I'll get building maintenance to come back.
Lulu, did you punch the wall again? No.
- I think you're lying.
- I think you're pretty.
Why, thank you.
Was it weird being back in the theater again, Amanda? I actually found it quite inspirational.
That's great.
I even spoke to a local community theater about mounting a revival of "the four food groups.
" I would, of course, be reprising my role as "dairy.
" Bravo! I'll see if I can get you kids tickets.
- We'll be there.
- Wouldn't miss it.
- I'm not going to that.
- No way.