UnREAL (2015) s02e04 Episode Script
Treason
1 Ladies, open your hearts to your suitor, Darius Beck! Quinn: Shh.
Network president.
Gary: He's black.
He's football black.
What about this scandal? He called that reporter a bitch.
Bitch, please.
Chet? But what the hell are you doing here? I'm taking my kingdom back.
If I keep following you around like this, the crew's gonna have a really hard time believing I'm the showrunner.
I just got to steer us past this train wreck, and then I will hand the show back to you.
Who's in charge here? - I am.
- I am.
My two bosses, they're making two different versions of the show.
I can't produce it with them on the set.
Rachel wanted me to let her run the show all by herself.
That's why Coleman's here.
Coleman: You don't need Quinn.
Between you and me, we can make shows that actually mean something.
So you're the one who's calling me "Hot Rachel.
" Well, you do kind of look like her.
Tell me what the judge said about the custody.
Give me a little good news.
You look amazing.
Can we talk for a second? Absolutely.
You lied about everything.
Goodbye, Brandi.
We're done.
Darius, it's Rachel.
Darius: Yeah.
Come in.
You okay? Shut the door.
All right, has anybody seen my messenger? Dan: Nothing yet, boss.
Great, can you please just let me know the second it arrives? I need it, like, yesterday.
Copy that.
- Rachel.
- Yeah.
Did you see these things? Chet ordered them when he was still in charge.
What are those things? Hello? Powder-puff football date.
It's supposed to be the girls' uniforms, but it's definitely gonna look like a porn shoot, and there's a reporter from Entertainment Weekly on set today.
Okay.
What, seriously? So, it's just me then? Your feminist sensibilities aren't offended by these things? No.
Not today.
Who are you? What would Hillary say, Rachel? [Vehicle approaching.]
[Car door opens.]
Can't believe you're still driving that thing.
- [Scoffs.]
- Why not? What, you want to take it for a spin? I'm still waiting to open her up, see how fast she goes.
What, do you actually want to watch Quinn turn into Naomi Campbell, because she's seriously gonna beat the crap out of me.
Don't worry about Quinn.
- You've outgrown her.
- Note taken.
Entertainment Weekly's here, by the way.
Nice.
All right.
I'm gonna go pull some clips for them.
Meet me inside in five? Three.
[Indistinct chatter.]
[Hammer pounding.]
Dan, can you please let me know when the messenger arrives? Dan: Copy that, boss.
[Knock on door.]
Go away.
- [Muffled.]
- I brought you Raisin Bran - without any raisins in it and - What? I brought you Raisin Bran without the raisins and Lucky Charms without the charms.
Oh, I didn't ask for that.
Um, I-I just thought maybe you would need it or want it.
Um I'm sorry, are you trying to say something? Then just speak.
- [Nervously.]
- Well, you weren't answering your phone, so they started calling the production office and said about y-your dad.
- [Sighs.]
- Christ.
I'll deal with him later.
He's dead.
Your dad.
[Somber music plays.]
Just get out.
Get out! [Door opens.]
[Mid-tempo music plays.]
[Music ends.]
Oh, my God.
Why Why is there a baby here? It's bring your baby to work day.
I'm sorry, did you, like, kill Cynthia or something? - [Chuckling.]
- No, I didn't kill my ex-wife.
I didn't kill her.
She's at a Deepak Chopra retreat.
I gave the nanny the day off.
It was time for some skin-to-skin pheromonal bonding time.
I thought that there was this whole, like, legal custody - [Chuckling.]
- No.
Battle thing, which you lost.
Legal schmegal.
No, this is my DNA.
This is my legacy on Earth, okay? I'd like to see some judge try and take that away from me.
It's not gonna happen.
You'd have to pull my teeth and melt my bones.
Okay, can you please just keep the baby away from the girls? It's like lady catnip.
[Women chattering, baby crying.]
Madison, what are you doing? - [Voice breaking.]
- Quinn's always gonna remember me as the girl who went down on her fiancé and told her that her dad was dead.
Quinn's dad died? Yeah.
I think she was just starting to like me.
[Exhales sharply.]
She wasn't, Madison.
Quinn.
Hey, just, um I just wanted to come by and say that I'm sorry that your that your dad died.
Oh, that's what you're sorry about? Not Gary? Okay, so, now's not the time.
Oh, it's the perfect time.
I mean, actually, the perfect time would've been before you went to the network, but now will have to do.
[Door closes.]
I had a conversation with Gary.
Go on.
It's just that you gave me the showrunner job and essentially took it away.
So you stabbed me in the back? No, I went to talk to Gary, somebody who could be objective, somebody that could be reasonable and cool headed.
Stabbed me in the back.
Okay, no, I just No, I was just trying to do what's best for the show.
Now, that's bullshit.
It was a power grab.
At least have the balls to own it.
- [Scoffs.]
- No, it wasn't.
I was just freaked out because our show was going down.
Okay, well, your little freakout is the reason why that pre-teen dirt bag is driving around a sports car with the name of my show on it.
They would've never sent him in if you didn't tattletale to the principal.
And now we're stuck with him.
So, just go away, okay? You have a new boss.
Stop acting like you care about me.
[Truck beeping in distance.]
I do care.
You have a funny way of showing it.
You know, I plucked you from nothing, made you a producer.
And now you think you can just do this all on your own.
Well, you can't.
'Cause the truth is, you need me behind you, guiding you, pushing you, propping you up so you don't crack.
But you'll always crack, Rachel.
You're unstable and ungrateful, and you cannot make this show without me.
Dan: Rachel, your delivery's here.
Watch me.
[Door closes.]
I'll have you come right here.
- [Groans.]
- Took you long enough.
You know what, can you just freeze right there? All right, there you go.
- You don't have much time, so - [Clicks tongue.]
Yeah, thank you.
Good to see you, doc.
Good to see you, too, buddy.
[Sighs.]
What the hell is she doing here? - [Door closes.]
- She knows.
It's cool.
It's not cool.
One word about his injury gets out to the press, - and his career's over.
- Okay.
What the hell were you thinking, D? How else was the doc gonna get in without her? Today on "Everlasting," it is powder-puff football.
The ladies will hit the turf in their pinks versus blues, and Darius is suiting up to play quarterback on both sides, but the stakes are high because the winning team gets that winning date with our prince.
Cue the ladies.
- [Giggles.]
- Go this way, ladies.
[Women giggling.]
- This is ridiculous.
- Right? I mean, where's our romantic helicopter ride around a volcano? And besides, we're kind of in our underwear again.
Works out fine when you look like me.
Rachel, where the hell is Darius? I've got a field full of horny straight girls here and Graham is the only dick in sight.
It is not a good situation.
No one is having fun, Rachel.
Where is he? Yeah, he'll be there as soon as he can.
It's bad.
You put this off, and it's gotten worse.
Well, can you just, like, give him something for the pain for right now? He needs the pain to tell him when he's done damage to himself.
[Darius groans.]
It's time, D.
You need surgery.
No, we talked about this.
That surgery has an 18-month recovery time and no guarantee it'll actually work.
My career could be over, and you know it.
D, you don't get the surgery, and your career is definitely over.
You can't play like this, and we can't hide it anymore.
Were you guys hiding this from me the whole time? Is that what just I mean, you knew about it.
That's why you're here.
It has nothing to do with "Bitch, please," right? Look, I could've played my way out of that nonsense if I wasn't injured, but as it is, I still need to clean up my image and and lock down that sportscasting deal.
That is right, yes.
That is why you need to stay here.
One wrong hit hell, one wrong tango step, and that disc could fissure and paralyze him.
Darius: All right, doc, that's not gonna happen, okay? I'm not even playing, so that's not gonna happen.
- There's no - You're not you're not hearing me, D.
[Groans.]
Easy, easy, easy.
If it was my call, I'd duct tape you to a gurney and haul you out of here in an ambulance right now.
[Door opens.]
See? This show has enough footage to make you look good.
We spin it so you tweaked your back saving some girl from drowning, that you have to leave to do some physical therapy.
He doesn't know what he's talking about, okay? We don't even have close to enough footage.
You have gone on a couple of dates and kissed, like, two girls.
Rachel, he's leaving.
This show is not worth Do you know that there's a reporter on set? Do you? And if this reporter even thinks that there is a problem - She's got a point.
- Stop.
Fine.
You've got the day, but we're out of here tonight.
No, that's stupid.
I'm not doing it.
I want Darius off the field - Mnh-mnh - doing a play-by-play with Tiffany.
Why? What is the point of casting a pro football player if we're never gonna actually watch him play football, Rachel? Tiffany is your wifey.
You should be happy.
This is gonna give her an opportunity to shine.
- How do you not see that? - That's so sweet of you.
I'm not an idiot.
What the hell is going on? - Just do it.
- Fine.
Hey, I know you're scared, but that's all right When you're living out here in the wild Hey, just be prepared to stay alive When you're living out here in the Living out here in the wild [Indistinct chatter.]
- You're Coleman, right? - Hmm? Yeah.
So, you're showrunner.
That's right.
Must be a huge job getting a show like this.
Twinsie.
Oh, hi.
You're in my seat.
- Hi.
Oh.
- Thanks.
- Talk later.
- Yeah.
Our reporter's here.
He's on his way out.
Mm, cool.
What's the hold up with Darius? Oh, nothing.
It's totally fine.
[Sniffs.]
- Rachel.
- Hmm.
Come on.
I don't play this high school crap.
Here's how this works.
You tell me the truth, and then we work together as a team.
Or not.
You ready? For what? [Women chattering.]
Good.
Oh, this is some bullshit.
Mm-hmm.
- At least they keep giving us drinks.
- Uh-huh.
You guys are really slugging 'em back, eh? Yeah, can you bring us another one? - Number four? Okay.
- Yep.
This is gonna be fun.
- Is it? - Yeah.
Guys, I was gonna be a doctor.
[Laughter.]
Hey, so, we really want to get everyone out there.
You know, having a good time.
So, no one else has a problem with this? Just me? Well, I guess the other girls are just a little more fun.
You need to loosen up a little.
Liquid fun.
Palm of your hand.
- [Scoffs.]
- Come on.
Okay, I mean, you can do what you want, but Darius says he's gonna cut you if you don't bring it today.
Romeo wants to get Darius out of here A.
S.
A.
P.
Wait, okay.
What does Darius want? Mm.
He's kind of on the fence.
- The doctor's saying that he - Well, that's good.
Well, no, the doctor's saying that he needs to have surgery, like, yesterday.
Shit.
Do you have anyone that we could call? Just discretely bring in here for a second opinion.
I do.
I have a buddy in sports medicine.
He's made a career of keeping players in the game.
I will call him.
I will call him right now.
- Thank you.
- Yep.
Hey, Quinn.
Leave me alone.
I, uh - [Sighs.]
- I heard about Randy.
[Baby crying.]
What the hell is that? Hmm? Oh, that's my progeny.
This is the future of the Wilton line.
Want to hold him? That caterwauling ball of flesh is the result of you cheating on me with your wife.
It came out of her vagina.
So no, I don't want to hold it.
Really puts things in perspective.
You know, the whole circle of life thing.
- [Chuckles.]
- Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, you raise kids, teach them everything you know, and then they grow up to stab you in the back.
I'd put a pillow over its face right now.
Still young enough to claim SIDS.
[Knock on door.]
- Jay: Quinn? - [Doorknob rattling.]
Quinn, it's Jay.
Go away! Quinn.
Talk to me about Randy.
[Scoffs.]
He was a worthless father, and now he's dead.
Good talk.
You okay? I'm developing, Chet, okay? Can't you tell by all my colorful Post-it notes? So, you're giving up.
You know, when I wanted the show back, you fought me tooth and nail, but now that it's a little weirdo and dick for brains, you're just gonna hand it over to them? This show is our baby.
We got to fight for it.
Hey, Quinn, did you know that Rachel Oh, my God, ew, is that a real baby? What do you need, Jay? Rachel and Coleman are acting real shady.
They've got Darius standing on the sidelines wearing a full suit looking like a black Pee-Wee Herman.
How's he gonna play in a suit? Oh, that's my point.
Rachel's got him commentating.
How am I supposed to turn that snore-a-thon into a TV show? I don't know.
But I will figure it out, all right? Thank you very much.
[Door closes.]
Quinn: What is going on with Darius? Okay, wait a second.
Who's that guy? He's a messenger.
Okay, keep going.
Stop, stop.
That's not a messenger.
Darius is hurt.
That's why he's not on the field today.
That's That's big news.
Could affect his career.
[Tape whirring.]
We show that he's hurt, and that's our story.
We medevac him in a helicopter, girls crying, sirens blaring, catfighting over who gets to ride with him to the hospital.
Just your general ratings-spiking, promo-making television gold.
And if the show tanks, it did happen on Coleman's watch.
Exactly.
Coleman's out.
They come back to me as the genius who's made the show for the last 14 seasons, and then we just pick a new suitor.
Yeah, square jaw, Midwestern type.
And we're back on the air.
[Chuckles.]
What do we have to do to make this happen? We get Darius on the field, and we take him down.
Change of plans, folks.
A quarterback of Darius' caliber needs to be able to switch up a play just like that at the very last second, and that is exactly what he has done here today.
See, Darius needs a wider view of his lineups, both in the booth calling today's football game alongside pro football princess Tiffany James.
Yeah, she's a pro all right.
Princess my foot.
I actually have tiaras.
The girls are on their own.
First team to score, remember, gets the coveted dinner date with our prince.
Go get 'em, ladies.
Good luck.
The other girls are gonna hate me.
These other girls? These other girls already hate you.
You're blonde and rich.
Who cares about them? This is about you and Darius sitting side by side.
You know what he's gonna know about you? He's gonna see that you are the total package.
He's gonna love you.
I see it now.
[Vocalizing "Bridal Chorus".]
- Tiffany: [Laughs.]
- Right? You like that.
Hey.
Did you hear from your friend? - Still in surgery.
- Okay.
All right.
Let me know when you hear from him.
- I got to deal with Romeo.
- I got to deal with this guy here.
- Dominick? - Hey.
- Hey.
Coleman Wasserman.
- Pleasure.
Pleasure's mine.
I'm the new showrunner here.
- Thanks for having us.
- Oh, of course.
- Have a good trip? - Aww, look! It's a Fantastic.
We had a great drive up.
- Wait, have you been here before? - This is our first time.
Hey, guys.
How are you? It's my kid.
[Cellphone vibrating.]
Uh, I'm excited to get you all that footage you need.
I got to grab this.
Hey, buddy.
Thanks for the call back.
It's been a while, huh? Ladies, hi.
No.
Come on.
Move elsewhere.
It's, like, dangerous.
Come on.
Go feed somewhere else.
All right, ladies, let's go.
- Let's go.
- Everybody, let's say bye, Chet! - Bye, baby.
- Bye, Chet.
Bye, Chet.
That's the kind of girl I was telling you about.
That's a lesson for another time.
That's called a lesbian.
[Indistinct chatter.]
Hello, everyone.
It is a beautiful day for our first "Everlasting" powder-puff football playoff.
That's right, Tiffany.
The sun is up, the girls are hot, and we are all ready to riff rip ri aah! - [Grunts.]
- Cut.
Cut! Don't worry about it, man.
Editing.
It's your first time.
You'll figure it out.
Yeah, I haven't done anything for the first time in like 16 years.
I'm better at being the best.
Yeah, I get that pressure.
My dad called me the golden child.
For the first two decades of my life, I tried to be 18 karat.
Me, too.
Still doing it.
Not me.
I've been working really hard on letting myself off the hook.
You should try it.
[Whistle blows.]
[Girls giggling.]
Time out! Time out! - [Whistle blows.]
- Watch my kid.
All right, pink team, blue team, come on, come on.
- [Dog barks.]
- Look alive.
Come on.
Huddle up, huddle up.
Good.
Nice.
Grab a piece.
There we go.
Listen, uh, slight change of rules.
Uh, we're gonna bring Darius into this thing, and, uh, object: Do not win, okay? I want you to bring him down.
You can kiss him, you can grab him.
I don't care what you do as long as you bring Darius down into the dirt.
Why? Because that's the show.
That's the show.
You know, it's the football player with the sexy, beautiful girls bringing him down into the dirt, okay? And plus, plus, whoever brings him down first gets a one-on-one date.
Sound good? Hands in, ladies.
[All shouting.]
Go! - All right! - Let's play some ball! Uh, London, can I have a word? - [Whistle blows.]
- Um I understand Darius, uh, isn't paying much attention to you.
Yeah, apparently, I need to "bring it.
" Uh-huh.
Um come with me.
Right.
Okay, yep.
Yep, thank you.
Thank you.
[Cellphone beeps.]
What's the deal, Rach? I asked for two tickets to LAX tonight.
They told me that you said no.
Yeah, I just need a little bit more time with Darius.
No, we're out of here tonight.
It's a wrap, Goldberg.
No, come on.
No, no.
I just need six episodes total.
Okay? That's only three more after today.
I mean, I'll just quickly get it down to the final two.
I can do everything I would've done in a full season.
Rachel I will make his exit ratings gold with a pot full of contracts at the end of the rainbow, which you know makes him happy, and it's gonna make you look so good.
Come on.
I mean, we made all of this happen.
We can fix it.
I'm just saying, besides I missed you.
What are you doing, Rachel? My God.
- Tiffany: Okay.
- Darius: Okay? - Okay, got one.
- Go ahead, go ahead.
Okay, okay.
So, how do you give a lemon an orgasm? - How do you give a lemon an orgasm? - [Chuckles.]
- [Whistle blows.]
- Oh.
- Oh.
Uh, we are back, Darius.
- [Chuckling.]
- No, no.
Wait.
We're back.
No, stop, stop.
You got to tell me.
How? How? - [Laughing.]
- No.
- No, you give me the punch line.
- I'll give it to you later.
I'll give it to you later after the game.
Why the hell are you in here when we're all out there? I was promised a game with you, Darius Beck, and I intend to collect.
- [Grunts.]
- You're not scared of playing with a few girls, are you? - [Laughs.]
- Of course not.
Ah.
Then let's play.
Okay, let's play then.
Okay.
- [Whistle blows.]
- [Chuckles.]
Ladies, ladies, okay.
I'm up now.
- Hey, Darius.
- Talk to me.
- I'm good.
- You girls look good out there.
- That's a nice suit.
- Thank you.
Whoa, whoa! I think I should not play football in a suit.
We should probably take it off.
[Girls squealing.]
- Oh, my God.
- What the hell? [Laughter.]
I won! I won! [Laughter.]
Are you okay, Darius? - Are you okay? - Darius, are you all right? Woman: Help.
Rachel: We'll get you some help right now, okay? Guys! Somebody - Rachel.
- Oh.
This is unbelievable.
Oy vey.
I talked to my friend.
We do have an option.
It's incredibly risky.
[Indistinct chatter.]
Where the hell is my ambulance? I mean, Quinn, they said they were on the way, but we've cried wolf so many times, you know they never believe us.
Well, call them again.
Okay.
Quinn: Huh? This is fantastic, right? I mean, he gets taken away to the hospital, girls weeping, bedside vigils.
We throw in some sexy nurses.
It's like "Everlasting M.
D.
" Quinn, this is, like, a serious situation.
You can't you can't do that to his whole life.
He's hurt.
You're gonna wreck his career.
Aww.
That's so sad.
This is gonna blow back on you.
Clearly you didn't vet him properly.
He's a professional football player.
Do you think that if his team couldn't catch it that we could've? But legally, you're culpable.
- [Chuckling.]
- Oh.
Oh, let me guess.
Uh, the network promised that they would support your vision and put you on a deal, and said you could develop whatever you wanted, and you jumped on it like the rodent that you are, and they asked for one teeny, tinesy little favor.
"'Everlasting" is a cash cow, but right now, it's a bit of a train wreck, so we were just wondering if you could go in and maybe fix it up a little"? Hmm.
Well, here's the dealio, boy-chick.
Uh, in a few minutes, your star is going to be jumping in an ambulance, and he's going to get taken away, and your season is screwed.
So, you can blame me, you can blame Chet.
I mean, you can even blame Santa Claus.
But the network doesn't care because all the network knows is that they put you in charge, and all of this happened on your watch because, uh, you're the showrunner, remember? Good luck digging yourself out of this one.
[Cellphone vibrates.]
He's here.
- [Sighing.]
- Let's go.
- [Sighs.]
- I'll distract Romeo.
D, you good? [Door closes.]
I've been better.
That's for damn sure.
Okay, well, it's about to get a little bit worse.
Um Quinn wants to use the footage of you getting hurt.
- What?! No.
- Yeah, she's got an ambulance on its way right now.
She's gonna out you.
She's basically gonna say that, um, you've been lying to your team this whole time.
That'll kill my career, my sportscasting gig, all of it.
I know.
The media is gonna be all over this.
You're gonna be a guy that hates women and lies about his injuries.
Rachel, you got to make this go away.
Look, I'm trying to, but I'm gonna need you on board, like, 100%.
I have a doctor that will give you He'll give you an epidural.
An epidural? Yeah, it just it'll just block the pain.
I know what an epidural is.
But my doc says I need the pain.
Otherwise, I could end up in a wheelchair.
Dude, I'm not gonna put you in any kind of situation where you can get hurt.
I promise.
I don't know, Rachel.
I don't know.
I'm Romeo, we talked about it, and he says it's not worth the risk.
- He says what? - He says it's not worth the risk.
Is he the one that's risking his life every week? But he's always had my back.
Always has.
I'm just saying that if you finish the season, you're a bona fide star.
You just have to ask yourself at the end of the day, what do you want? What do you want, D? [Sighs.]
I support a lot of people, Rachel.
A lot of people.
And Romeo says not to worry about it, and not even worry about him, not to worry about my mom, my niece.
Just to focus on me.
But You feel responsible for them.
Yeah.
Okay, just get the epidural, you walk out that door, you put on a smile.
The ambulance is gone, you're not in it.
Your mom's safe, your niece is safe.
The doctor's right outside.
We can fix this right now.
[Sighs.]
Let's do it.
[Siren wailing.]
Jay: All right, ladies, come on.
I need my girls with me.
You girls with Madison.
Quickly! Let's go! You can maybe go through here.
- Ladies! - Hurry it up.
Get over here.
Ladies, come on, come on, come on! Listen to me! Hello.
Hi.
Guess what.
In a short while, Darius is gonna be leaving on a stretcher for the hospital.
Okay, it is a very grave situation.
Very grave.
Rachel said he was okay.
Well, Rachel doesn't know what she's talking about, okay? - I do.
- Wait, he walks to the.
.
- [Indistinct conversations.]
- Hi, hello? I'm still standing here, okay? Here's what I need you to understand.
This is a stretcher.
Darius will be on it going to the hospital, and it is your fault.
- Wait.
What? - All of you did this to him.
He is in pain.
I need tears, I need weeping, I need snot running down your beautiful faces, okay? You'll glow like cherubs.
Anything? I mean, it's as if Taylor Swift, you know, asked you to be a part of her girl squad and then changed her mind.
- [Crying.]
- Oh, my God.
- [Women crying.]
- There we go.
All right.
[Groans.]
[Girls crying.]
Okay, he's coming out.
Keep up the tears.
Now listen, whoever cries the hardest gets to ride to the ER with Darius.
Okay? Got it? All right, let's go, Dan.
Come on.
- Okay, all right, ladies.
- Brilliant.
You are still the master.
[Sighs.]
Dan: Okay.
Three, two, one.
Quinn: Why is he not on the gur What the hell? - What? - He's walking? - Ladies.
- [Chuckles.]
What's up? Why so sad? - What? - Okay, I'm confused.
Quinn said you were really hurt.
[Chuckles.]
Look, it was just another day at the office, okay? If I was hurt, could I do this? All right, so what's next? Um, I think I was supposed to be going on a one-on-one with some lucky lady.
That's that's me.
That's me.
Hey.
Ooh.
- Hey.
- Mm.
You're just gorgeous.
Thank you.
- [Vomits.]
- Oh, my gosh! - [Crowd groans.]
- [Chuckles.]
Well, that's something.
How'd you get it that pink? It's just Pepto-Bismol.
I gave her enough to drown a horse.
- Oh.
- It's fantastic, and now we're gonna use the ambulance, okay? Let's up her sickness, take her to the hospital.
So tell them to turn the sirens on now.
Excuse me, ladies.
Excuse me.
Let's just keep walking.
She threw up on my shoes.
She threw up on my shoes.
But you know what? What? What the hell are you actually doing? - Bro, calm down, okay? - Calm down? I saw you throw that ball.
You didn't even wince.
Rachel gave me a shot, okay? Look, she gave me a shot.
I can finish the show.
- I'll be fine.
- You don't know that.
You think she's gonna wipe your ass when you're paralyzed? Drooling away the next 40 years of your life in some rehab joint.
Hey, D.
Hi.
We're actually ready for you.
We're moving a little slow, so Get out of here, Rachel! - Ease up, ease up, okay? Ease up.
- It's totally fine.
It's totally fine.
You stay on this show, you're killing yourself, and I'm not gonna be a part of it.
I mean it, D.
Okay.
Then you can go.
- What? - You heard me.
I made my decision.
If you can't support it, then Then you're fired.
You can't be serious right now.
[Scoffs.]
I'll talk to him.
I gave my life for Darius.
That's my blood.
You have any idea what that's like? Of course not.
You just poisoned the best thing that either one of us ever had.
And for a television show.
Now you have to live with that.
You talk to God about that, Rachel.
Man: Watch your backs.
All right.
Here we go.
Raising up.
All right, great, here you go.
Take her around the block because we need her back here for the elimination ceremony.
Thank you very much.
All right, girls, back in your gowns.
Let's go.
Come on.
Okay, ladies, let's head inside to the green room for touch ups.
- Pick it up.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go! [Engine starts.]
Thank you.
Chin up.
It's not that big of a deal.
Jameson, pick it up.
Let's go.
Look at you.
Hit it out for the win, like there's nothing you can't do.
- Okay, Chet.
- Nothing we can't do.
- [Siren wails.]
- We're good together.
Working together side by side, it reminded me of the way things used to be.
- [Scoffs.]
- You know? I-I should've left Cynthia the day I met you.
[Sighs.]
I would've saved everybody a lot of grief.
You're the love of my life.
Look.
I-I want you to trust me, okay? 'Cause I-I have a baby now, and I've I've changed.
I'm responsible now.
If we tried this again, if we tried it again, it would be a whole new universe.
It would be it'd be the one you deserve.
[Sirens approaching.]
If we're gonna do this, it would be Oh, I told them to go around the corner, not down the drive a whole new universe.
Well, who called the cops? Uh Chet Wilton? Oh, no.
Uh, you know what? This isn't what it looks like.
I assure you You're under arrest for kidnapping - and child endangerment.
- She's gonna keep okay.
- Seriously? - This is ridiculous.
- You stole your kid? - No.
No.
- [Baby crying.]
- Uh, that's my son, okay? - Get your hands behind your back.
- That's my son.
- Hey! - Hands behind your back.
- What is she doing? - Stand down, stand down.
All right, I'm not I'm fine.
- I meant every word I said.
- [Handcuffs click.]
- Come on.
- Okay? Every word, Quinn.
What are you doing with my son? [Crying continues.]
[Car door closes.]
"Everlasting" is about love.
But sometimes, love is about loss.
Letting five of you go feels big.
Like it's the end of one thing and the beginning of something else.
If I call your name, come stand beside me.
We'll continue this journey together.
If I don't well, I wish you all the best.
Ruby.
Chantal.
Tiffany.
Jameson.
Beth Ann.
It's the last one.
Thank you.
Yael.
London: So, I'm just a joke? Drunk Muslim, huh? - You can shove this up your - [Microphone static.]
Come on! Go, go, go! Follow the drama! Go! [Humming.]
Yael: Phew! So, this is the party truck, huh? You found it.
You gonna give me some? [Sighs.]
[Clears throat.]
So, I think Rachel hates me.
[Chuckles.]
Join the club.
Why does she hate you? Oh, you two had a thing, huh? Yeah, we're, uh we're not gonna talk about that.
It's pretty amazing how she gets everybody to do the things they do.
You don't know the half of it.
I'd like to know.
All of it.
That would require me getting to know you a lot better.
Well, in that case, why don't you give me a tour? It's a pretty small truck.
Not much to see.
I, um I wasn't talking about the truck.
[Grunts.]
Graham: "Everlasting" is about love.
[Tape whirring.]
You want a beer? I'm not your friend.
Congratulations.
You showed me, huh? I guess you can make this show without me.
Look, Quinn, I know we're fighting about work stuff, but Work stuff? What other stuff is there? That's us.
We work.
And not well.
I'm done.
I'm done with all the garbage people in my life.
Randy, Chet, and now you.
Um, I'm sorry.
They keep calling the production office.
They want to know what to do with your father's personal effects.
Quinn: Just put everything in the house, throw in a match, and burn it to the ground.
[Cellphone clatters.]
You're a hard man to find.
You alone? You mean are there cameras on my ass? No, they don't follow me.
I'm not a wifey.
Can I sit down? [Sighs.]
So, Romeo left, huh? What happened? I'm tired of people telling me what to do, so I let him go.
He's family, Darius.
You can't just let him go.
Hey, what's going on with you? Seriously, this is just me, okay? This is not about some game.
Are you okay? [Sighs.]
Man, I don't like what this place is doing to everybody.
Hell, I don't like what it's doing to me.
What's it doing to you? Making me care too much about what other people think.
Like who? Like you.
[Chuckles.]
- Well, that's okay, then.
- [Chuckles.]
You're so strong.
I mean, don't get me wrong, you got a mouth on you and all, but A mouth.
Okay, grandma.
[Both laugh.]
I spent my entire life letting other people make decisions for me.
Not anymore.
It's time I be my own man.
I get that.
It just It just feels good to do something I want to do.
Not to worry for once, to take a chance.
See, that's the guy I want to be.
So do it.
Be that guy.
[Soft music plays.]
Are you sure this is what that guy wants? Yeah.
This is exactly what that guy wants.
[Rumspringa's "Musical Chairs" plays.]
[Car alarm chirps.]
Wasserman, where are you going? Hey, you.
Want a beer? Yes, I'd love this.
Good.
Please.
Thank you.
Are we doing this, Wasserman? It's been a long time coming down Bet you thought I'd never come around With this sound, but I did Pull up a chair, it's time to get yours Get, get, get yours, baby Pull up a chair, it's time to get yours Yeah, yeah
Network president.
Gary: He's black.
He's football black.
What about this scandal? He called that reporter a bitch.
Bitch, please.
Chet? But what the hell are you doing here? I'm taking my kingdom back.
If I keep following you around like this, the crew's gonna have a really hard time believing I'm the showrunner.
I just got to steer us past this train wreck, and then I will hand the show back to you.
Who's in charge here? - I am.
- I am.
My two bosses, they're making two different versions of the show.
I can't produce it with them on the set.
Rachel wanted me to let her run the show all by herself.
That's why Coleman's here.
Coleman: You don't need Quinn.
Between you and me, we can make shows that actually mean something.
So you're the one who's calling me "Hot Rachel.
" Well, you do kind of look like her.
Tell me what the judge said about the custody.
Give me a little good news.
You look amazing.
Can we talk for a second? Absolutely.
You lied about everything.
Goodbye, Brandi.
We're done.
Darius, it's Rachel.
Darius: Yeah.
Come in.
You okay? Shut the door.
All right, has anybody seen my messenger? Dan: Nothing yet, boss.
Great, can you please just let me know the second it arrives? I need it, like, yesterday.
Copy that.
- Rachel.
- Yeah.
Did you see these things? Chet ordered them when he was still in charge.
What are those things? Hello? Powder-puff football date.
It's supposed to be the girls' uniforms, but it's definitely gonna look like a porn shoot, and there's a reporter from Entertainment Weekly on set today.
Okay.
What, seriously? So, it's just me then? Your feminist sensibilities aren't offended by these things? No.
Not today.
Who are you? What would Hillary say, Rachel? [Vehicle approaching.]
[Car door opens.]
Can't believe you're still driving that thing.
- [Scoffs.]
- Why not? What, you want to take it for a spin? I'm still waiting to open her up, see how fast she goes.
What, do you actually want to watch Quinn turn into Naomi Campbell, because she's seriously gonna beat the crap out of me.
Don't worry about Quinn.
- You've outgrown her.
- Note taken.
Entertainment Weekly's here, by the way.
Nice.
All right.
I'm gonna go pull some clips for them.
Meet me inside in five? Three.
[Indistinct chatter.]
[Hammer pounding.]
Dan, can you please let me know when the messenger arrives? Dan: Copy that, boss.
[Knock on door.]
Go away.
- [Muffled.]
- I brought you Raisin Bran - without any raisins in it and - What? I brought you Raisin Bran without the raisins and Lucky Charms without the charms.
Oh, I didn't ask for that.
Um, I-I just thought maybe you would need it or want it.
Um I'm sorry, are you trying to say something? Then just speak.
- [Nervously.]
- Well, you weren't answering your phone, so they started calling the production office and said about y-your dad.
- [Sighs.]
- Christ.
I'll deal with him later.
He's dead.
Your dad.
[Somber music plays.]
Just get out.
Get out! [Door opens.]
[Mid-tempo music plays.]
[Music ends.]
Oh, my God.
Why Why is there a baby here? It's bring your baby to work day.
I'm sorry, did you, like, kill Cynthia or something? - [Chuckling.]
- No, I didn't kill my ex-wife.
I didn't kill her.
She's at a Deepak Chopra retreat.
I gave the nanny the day off.
It was time for some skin-to-skin pheromonal bonding time.
I thought that there was this whole, like, legal custody - [Chuckling.]
- No.
Battle thing, which you lost.
Legal schmegal.
No, this is my DNA.
This is my legacy on Earth, okay? I'd like to see some judge try and take that away from me.
It's not gonna happen.
You'd have to pull my teeth and melt my bones.
Okay, can you please just keep the baby away from the girls? It's like lady catnip.
[Women chattering, baby crying.]
Madison, what are you doing? - [Voice breaking.]
- Quinn's always gonna remember me as the girl who went down on her fiancé and told her that her dad was dead.
Quinn's dad died? Yeah.
I think she was just starting to like me.
[Exhales sharply.]
She wasn't, Madison.
Quinn.
Hey, just, um I just wanted to come by and say that I'm sorry that your that your dad died.
Oh, that's what you're sorry about? Not Gary? Okay, so, now's not the time.
Oh, it's the perfect time.
I mean, actually, the perfect time would've been before you went to the network, but now will have to do.
[Door closes.]
I had a conversation with Gary.
Go on.
It's just that you gave me the showrunner job and essentially took it away.
So you stabbed me in the back? No, I went to talk to Gary, somebody who could be objective, somebody that could be reasonable and cool headed.
Stabbed me in the back.
Okay, no, I just No, I was just trying to do what's best for the show.
Now, that's bullshit.
It was a power grab.
At least have the balls to own it.
- [Scoffs.]
- No, it wasn't.
I was just freaked out because our show was going down.
Okay, well, your little freakout is the reason why that pre-teen dirt bag is driving around a sports car with the name of my show on it.
They would've never sent him in if you didn't tattletale to the principal.
And now we're stuck with him.
So, just go away, okay? You have a new boss.
Stop acting like you care about me.
[Truck beeping in distance.]
I do care.
You have a funny way of showing it.
You know, I plucked you from nothing, made you a producer.
And now you think you can just do this all on your own.
Well, you can't.
'Cause the truth is, you need me behind you, guiding you, pushing you, propping you up so you don't crack.
But you'll always crack, Rachel.
You're unstable and ungrateful, and you cannot make this show without me.
Dan: Rachel, your delivery's here.
Watch me.
[Door closes.]
I'll have you come right here.
- [Groans.]
- Took you long enough.
You know what, can you just freeze right there? All right, there you go.
- You don't have much time, so - [Clicks tongue.]
Yeah, thank you.
Good to see you, doc.
Good to see you, too, buddy.
[Sighs.]
What the hell is she doing here? - [Door closes.]
- She knows.
It's cool.
It's not cool.
One word about his injury gets out to the press, - and his career's over.
- Okay.
What the hell were you thinking, D? How else was the doc gonna get in without her? Today on "Everlasting," it is powder-puff football.
The ladies will hit the turf in their pinks versus blues, and Darius is suiting up to play quarterback on both sides, but the stakes are high because the winning team gets that winning date with our prince.
Cue the ladies.
- [Giggles.]
- Go this way, ladies.
[Women giggling.]
- This is ridiculous.
- Right? I mean, where's our romantic helicopter ride around a volcano? And besides, we're kind of in our underwear again.
Works out fine when you look like me.
Rachel, where the hell is Darius? I've got a field full of horny straight girls here and Graham is the only dick in sight.
It is not a good situation.
No one is having fun, Rachel.
Where is he? Yeah, he'll be there as soon as he can.
It's bad.
You put this off, and it's gotten worse.
Well, can you just, like, give him something for the pain for right now? He needs the pain to tell him when he's done damage to himself.
[Darius groans.]
It's time, D.
You need surgery.
No, we talked about this.
That surgery has an 18-month recovery time and no guarantee it'll actually work.
My career could be over, and you know it.
D, you don't get the surgery, and your career is definitely over.
You can't play like this, and we can't hide it anymore.
Were you guys hiding this from me the whole time? Is that what just I mean, you knew about it.
That's why you're here.
It has nothing to do with "Bitch, please," right? Look, I could've played my way out of that nonsense if I wasn't injured, but as it is, I still need to clean up my image and and lock down that sportscasting deal.
That is right, yes.
That is why you need to stay here.
One wrong hit hell, one wrong tango step, and that disc could fissure and paralyze him.
Darius: All right, doc, that's not gonna happen, okay? I'm not even playing, so that's not gonna happen.
- There's no - You're not you're not hearing me, D.
[Groans.]
Easy, easy, easy.
If it was my call, I'd duct tape you to a gurney and haul you out of here in an ambulance right now.
[Door opens.]
See? This show has enough footage to make you look good.
We spin it so you tweaked your back saving some girl from drowning, that you have to leave to do some physical therapy.
He doesn't know what he's talking about, okay? We don't even have close to enough footage.
You have gone on a couple of dates and kissed, like, two girls.
Rachel, he's leaving.
This show is not worth Do you know that there's a reporter on set? Do you? And if this reporter even thinks that there is a problem - She's got a point.
- Stop.
Fine.
You've got the day, but we're out of here tonight.
No, that's stupid.
I'm not doing it.
I want Darius off the field - Mnh-mnh - doing a play-by-play with Tiffany.
Why? What is the point of casting a pro football player if we're never gonna actually watch him play football, Rachel? Tiffany is your wifey.
You should be happy.
This is gonna give her an opportunity to shine.
- How do you not see that? - That's so sweet of you.
I'm not an idiot.
What the hell is going on? - Just do it.
- Fine.
Hey, I know you're scared, but that's all right When you're living out here in the wild Hey, just be prepared to stay alive When you're living out here in the Living out here in the wild [Indistinct chatter.]
- You're Coleman, right? - Hmm? Yeah.
So, you're showrunner.
That's right.
Must be a huge job getting a show like this.
Twinsie.
Oh, hi.
You're in my seat.
- Hi.
Oh.
- Thanks.
- Talk later.
- Yeah.
Our reporter's here.
He's on his way out.
Mm, cool.
What's the hold up with Darius? Oh, nothing.
It's totally fine.
[Sniffs.]
- Rachel.
- Hmm.
Come on.
I don't play this high school crap.
Here's how this works.
You tell me the truth, and then we work together as a team.
Or not.
You ready? For what? [Women chattering.]
Good.
Oh, this is some bullshit.
Mm-hmm.
- At least they keep giving us drinks.
- Uh-huh.
You guys are really slugging 'em back, eh? Yeah, can you bring us another one? - Number four? Okay.
- Yep.
This is gonna be fun.
- Is it? - Yeah.
Guys, I was gonna be a doctor.
[Laughter.]
Hey, so, we really want to get everyone out there.
You know, having a good time.
So, no one else has a problem with this? Just me? Well, I guess the other girls are just a little more fun.
You need to loosen up a little.
Liquid fun.
Palm of your hand.
- [Scoffs.]
- Come on.
Okay, I mean, you can do what you want, but Darius says he's gonna cut you if you don't bring it today.
Romeo wants to get Darius out of here A.
S.
A.
P.
Wait, okay.
What does Darius want? Mm.
He's kind of on the fence.
- The doctor's saying that he - Well, that's good.
Well, no, the doctor's saying that he needs to have surgery, like, yesterday.
Shit.
Do you have anyone that we could call? Just discretely bring in here for a second opinion.
I do.
I have a buddy in sports medicine.
He's made a career of keeping players in the game.
I will call him.
I will call him right now.
- Thank you.
- Yep.
Hey, Quinn.
Leave me alone.
I, uh - [Sighs.]
- I heard about Randy.
[Baby crying.]
What the hell is that? Hmm? Oh, that's my progeny.
This is the future of the Wilton line.
Want to hold him? That caterwauling ball of flesh is the result of you cheating on me with your wife.
It came out of her vagina.
So no, I don't want to hold it.
Really puts things in perspective.
You know, the whole circle of life thing.
- [Chuckles.]
- Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, you raise kids, teach them everything you know, and then they grow up to stab you in the back.
I'd put a pillow over its face right now.
Still young enough to claim SIDS.
[Knock on door.]
- Jay: Quinn? - [Doorknob rattling.]
Quinn, it's Jay.
Go away! Quinn.
Talk to me about Randy.
[Scoffs.]
He was a worthless father, and now he's dead.
Good talk.
You okay? I'm developing, Chet, okay? Can't you tell by all my colorful Post-it notes? So, you're giving up.
You know, when I wanted the show back, you fought me tooth and nail, but now that it's a little weirdo and dick for brains, you're just gonna hand it over to them? This show is our baby.
We got to fight for it.
Hey, Quinn, did you know that Rachel Oh, my God, ew, is that a real baby? What do you need, Jay? Rachel and Coleman are acting real shady.
They've got Darius standing on the sidelines wearing a full suit looking like a black Pee-Wee Herman.
How's he gonna play in a suit? Oh, that's my point.
Rachel's got him commentating.
How am I supposed to turn that snore-a-thon into a TV show? I don't know.
But I will figure it out, all right? Thank you very much.
[Door closes.]
Quinn: What is going on with Darius? Okay, wait a second.
Who's that guy? He's a messenger.
Okay, keep going.
Stop, stop.
That's not a messenger.
Darius is hurt.
That's why he's not on the field today.
That's That's big news.
Could affect his career.
[Tape whirring.]
We show that he's hurt, and that's our story.
We medevac him in a helicopter, girls crying, sirens blaring, catfighting over who gets to ride with him to the hospital.
Just your general ratings-spiking, promo-making television gold.
And if the show tanks, it did happen on Coleman's watch.
Exactly.
Coleman's out.
They come back to me as the genius who's made the show for the last 14 seasons, and then we just pick a new suitor.
Yeah, square jaw, Midwestern type.
And we're back on the air.
[Chuckles.]
What do we have to do to make this happen? We get Darius on the field, and we take him down.
Change of plans, folks.
A quarterback of Darius' caliber needs to be able to switch up a play just like that at the very last second, and that is exactly what he has done here today.
See, Darius needs a wider view of his lineups, both in the booth calling today's football game alongside pro football princess Tiffany James.
Yeah, she's a pro all right.
Princess my foot.
I actually have tiaras.
The girls are on their own.
First team to score, remember, gets the coveted dinner date with our prince.
Go get 'em, ladies.
Good luck.
The other girls are gonna hate me.
These other girls? These other girls already hate you.
You're blonde and rich.
Who cares about them? This is about you and Darius sitting side by side.
You know what he's gonna know about you? He's gonna see that you are the total package.
He's gonna love you.
I see it now.
[Vocalizing "Bridal Chorus".]
- Tiffany: [Laughs.]
- Right? You like that.
Hey.
Did you hear from your friend? - Still in surgery.
- Okay.
All right.
Let me know when you hear from him.
- I got to deal with Romeo.
- I got to deal with this guy here.
- Dominick? - Hey.
- Hey.
Coleman Wasserman.
- Pleasure.
Pleasure's mine.
I'm the new showrunner here.
- Thanks for having us.
- Oh, of course.
- Have a good trip? - Aww, look! It's a Fantastic.
We had a great drive up.
- Wait, have you been here before? - This is our first time.
Hey, guys.
How are you? It's my kid.
[Cellphone vibrating.]
Uh, I'm excited to get you all that footage you need.
I got to grab this.
Hey, buddy.
Thanks for the call back.
It's been a while, huh? Ladies, hi.
No.
Come on.
Move elsewhere.
It's, like, dangerous.
Come on.
Go feed somewhere else.
All right, ladies, let's go.
- Let's go.
- Everybody, let's say bye, Chet! - Bye, baby.
- Bye, Chet.
Bye, Chet.
That's the kind of girl I was telling you about.
That's a lesson for another time.
That's called a lesbian.
[Indistinct chatter.]
Hello, everyone.
It is a beautiful day for our first "Everlasting" powder-puff football playoff.
That's right, Tiffany.
The sun is up, the girls are hot, and we are all ready to riff rip ri aah! - [Grunts.]
- Cut.
Cut! Don't worry about it, man.
Editing.
It's your first time.
You'll figure it out.
Yeah, I haven't done anything for the first time in like 16 years.
I'm better at being the best.
Yeah, I get that pressure.
My dad called me the golden child.
For the first two decades of my life, I tried to be 18 karat.
Me, too.
Still doing it.
Not me.
I've been working really hard on letting myself off the hook.
You should try it.
[Whistle blows.]
[Girls giggling.]
Time out! Time out! - [Whistle blows.]
- Watch my kid.
All right, pink team, blue team, come on, come on.
- [Dog barks.]
- Look alive.
Come on.
Huddle up, huddle up.
Good.
Nice.
Grab a piece.
There we go.
Listen, uh, slight change of rules.
Uh, we're gonna bring Darius into this thing, and, uh, object: Do not win, okay? I want you to bring him down.
You can kiss him, you can grab him.
I don't care what you do as long as you bring Darius down into the dirt.
Why? Because that's the show.
That's the show.
You know, it's the football player with the sexy, beautiful girls bringing him down into the dirt, okay? And plus, plus, whoever brings him down first gets a one-on-one date.
Sound good? Hands in, ladies.
[All shouting.]
Go! - All right! - Let's play some ball! Uh, London, can I have a word? - [Whistle blows.]
- Um I understand Darius, uh, isn't paying much attention to you.
Yeah, apparently, I need to "bring it.
" Uh-huh.
Um come with me.
Right.
Okay, yep.
Yep, thank you.
Thank you.
[Cellphone beeps.]
What's the deal, Rach? I asked for two tickets to LAX tonight.
They told me that you said no.
Yeah, I just need a little bit more time with Darius.
No, we're out of here tonight.
It's a wrap, Goldberg.
No, come on.
No, no.
I just need six episodes total.
Okay? That's only three more after today.
I mean, I'll just quickly get it down to the final two.
I can do everything I would've done in a full season.
Rachel I will make his exit ratings gold with a pot full of contracts at the end of the rainbow, which you know makes him happy, and it's gonna make you look so good.
Come on.
I mean, we made all of this happen.
We can fix it.
I'm just saying, besides I missed you.
What are you doing, Rachel? My God.
- Tiffany: Okay.
- Darius: Okay? - Okay, got one.
- Go ahead, go ahead.
Okay, okay.
So, how do you give a lemon an orgasm? - How do you give a lemon an orgasm? - [Chuckles.]
- [Whistle blows.]
- Oh.
- Oh.
Uh, we are back, Darius.
- [Chuckling.]
- No, no.
Wait.
We're back.
No, stop, stop.
You got to tell me.
How? How? - [Laughing.]
- No.
- No, you give me the punch line.
- I'll give it to you later.
I'll give it to you later after the game.
Why the hell are you in here when we're all out there? I was promised a game with you, Darius Beck, and I intend to collect.
- [Grunts.]
- You're not scared of playing with a few girls, are you? - [Laughs.]
- Of course not.
Ah.
Then let's play.
Okay, let's play then.
Okay.
- [Whistle blows.]
- [Chuckles.]
Ladies, ladies, okay.
I'm up now.
- Hey, Darius.
- Talk to me.
- I'm good.
- You girls look good out there.
- That's a nice suit.
- Thank you.
Whoa, whoa! I think I should not play football in a suit.
We should probably take it off.
[Girls squealing.]
- Oh, my God.
- What the hell? [Laughter.]
I won! I won! [Laughter.]
Are you okay, Darius? - Are you okay? - Darius, are you all right? Woman: Help.
Rachel: We'll get you some help right now, okay? Guys! Somebody - Rachel.
- Oh.
This is unbelievable.
Oy vey.
I talked to my friend.
We do have an option.
It's incredibly risky.
[Indistinct chatter.]
Where the hell is my ambulance? I mean, Quinn, they said they were on the way, but we've cried wolf so many times, you know they never believe us.
Well, call them again.
Okay.
Quinn: Huh? This is fantastic, right? I mean, he gets taken away to the hospital, girls weeping, bedside vigils.
We throw in some sexy nurses.
It's like "Everlasting M.
D.
" Quinn, this is, like, a serious situation.
You can't you can't do that to his whole life.
He's hurt.
You're gonna wreck his career.
Aww.
That's so sad.
This is gonna blow back on you.
Clearly you didn't vet him properly.
He's a professional football player.
Do you think that if his team couldn't catch it that we could've? But legally, you're culpable.
- [Chuckling.]
- Oh.
Oh, let me guess.
Uh, the network promised that they would support your vision and put you on a deal, and said you could develop whatever you wanted, and you jumped on it like the rodent that you are, and they asked for one teeny, tinesy little favor.
"'Everlasting" is a cash cow, but right now, it's a bit of a train wreck, so we were just wondering if you could go in and maybe fix it up a little"? Hmm.
Well, here's the dealio, boy-chick.
Uh, in a few minutes, your star is going to be jumping in an ambulance, and he's going to get taken away, and your season is screwed.
So, you can blame me, you can blame Chet.
I mean, you can even blame Santa Claus.
But the network doesn't care because all the network knows is that they put you in charge, and all of this happened on your watch because, uh, you're the showrunner, remember? Good luck digging yourself out of this one.
[Cellphone vibrates.]
He's here.
- [Sighing.]
- Let's go.
- [Sighs.]
- I'll distract Romeo.
D, you good? [Door closes.]
I've been better.
That's for damn sure.
Okay, well, it's about to get a little bit worse.
Um Quinn wants to use the footage of you getting hurt.
- What?! No.
- Yeah, she's got an ambulance on its way right now.
She's gonna out you.
She's basically gonna say that, um, you've been lying to your team this whole time.
That'll kill my career, my sportscasting gig, all of it.
I know.
The media is gonna be all over this.
You're gonna be a guy that hates women and lies about his injuries.
Rachel, you got to make this go away.
Look, I'm trying to, but I'm gonna need you on board, like, 100%.
I have a doctor that will give you He'll give you an epidural.
An epidural? Yeah, it just it'll just block the pain.
I know what an epidural is.
But my doc says I need the pain.
Otherwise, I could end up in a wheelchair.
Dude, I'm not gonna put you in any kind of situation where you can get hurt.
I promise.
I don't know, Rachel.
I don't know.
I'm Romeo, we talked about it, and he says it's not worth the risk.
- He says what? - He says it's not worth the risk.
Is he the one that's risking his life every week? But he's always had my back.
Always has.
I'm just saying that if you finish the season, you're a bona fide star.
You just have to ask yourself at the end of the day, what do you want? What do you want, D? [Sighs.]
I support a lot of people, Rachel.
A lot of people.
And Romeo says not to worry about it, and not even worry about him, not to worry about my mom, my niece.
Just to focus on me.
But You feel responsible for them.
Yeah.
Okay, just get the epidural, you walk out that door, you put on a smile.
The ambulance is gone, you're not in it.
Your mom's safe, your niece is safe.
The doctor's right outside.
We can fix this right now.
[Sighs.]
Let's do it.
[Siren wailing.]
Jay: All right, ladies, come on.
I need my girls with me.
You girls with Madison.
Quickly! Let's go! You can maybe go through here.
- Ladies! - Hurry it up.
Get over here.
Ladies, come on, come on, come on! Listen to me! Hello.
Hi.
Guess what.
In a short while, Darius is gonna be leaving on a stretcher for the hospital.
Okay, it is a very grave situation.
Very grave.
Rachel said he was okay.
Well, Rachel doesn't know what she's talking about, okay? - I do.
- Wait, he walks to the.
.
- [Indistinct conversations.]
- Hi, hello? I'm still standing here, okay? Here's what I need you to understand.
This is a stretcher.
Darius will be on it going to the hospital, and it is your fault.
- Wait.
What? - All of you did this to him.
He is in pain.
I need tears, I need weeping, I need snot running down your beautiful faces, okay? You'll glow like cherubs.
Anything? I mean, it's as if Taylor Swift, you know, asked you to be a part of her girl squad and then changed her mind.
- [Crying.]
- Oh, my God.
- [Women crying.]
- There we go.
All right.
[Groans.]
[Girls crying.]
Okay, he's coming out.
Keep up the tears.
Now listen, whoever cries the hardest gets to ride to the ER with Darius.
Okay? Got it? All right, let's go, Dan.
Come on.
- Okay, all right, ladies.
- Brilliant.
You are still the master.
[Sighs.]
Dan: Okay.
Three, two, one.
Quinn: Why is he not on the gur What the hell? - What? - He's walking? - Ladies.
- [Chuckles.]
What's up? Why so sad? - What? - Okay, I'm confused.
Quinn said you were really hurt.
[Chuckles.]
Look, it was just another day at the office, okay? If I was hurt, could I do this? All right, so what's next? Um, I think I was supposed to be going on a one-on-one with some lucky lady.
That's that's me.
That's me.
Hey.
Ooh.
- Hey.
- Mm.
You're just gorgeous.
Thank you.
- [Vomits.]
- Oh, my gosh! - [Crowd groans.]
- [Chuckles.]
Well, that's something.
How'd you get it that pink? It's just Pepto-Bismol.
I gave her enough to drown a horse.
- Oh.
- It's fantastic, and now we're gonna use the ambulance, okay? Let's up her sickness, take her to the hospital.
So tell them to turn the sirens on now.
Excuse me, ladies.
Excuse me.
Let's just keep walking.
She threw up on my shoes.
She threw up on my shoes.
But you know what? What? What the hell are you actually doing? - Bro, calm down, okay? - Calm down? I saw you throw that ball.
You didn't even wince.
Rachel gave me a shot, okay? Look, she gave me a shot.
I can finish the show.
- I'll be fine.
- You don't know that.
You think she's gonna wipe your ass when you're paralyzed? Drooling away the next 40 years of your life in some rehab joint.
Hey, D.
Hi.
We're actually ready for you.
We're moving a little slow, so Get out of here, Rachel! - Ease up, ease up, okay? Ease up.
- It's totally fine.
It's totally fine.
You stay on this show, you're killing yourself, and I'm not gonna be a part of it.
I mean it, D.
Okay.
Then you can go.
- What? - You heard me.
I made my decision.
If you can't support it, then Then you're fired.
You can't be serious right now.
[Scoffs.]
I'll talk to him.
I gave my life for Darius.
That's my blood.
You have any idea what that's like? Of course not.
You just poisoned the best thing that either one of us ever had.
And for a television show.
Now you have to live with that.
You talk to God about that, Rachel.
Man: Watch your backs.
All right.
Here we go.
Raising up.
All right, great, here you go.
Take her around the block because we need her back here for the elimination ceremony.
Thank you very much.
All right, girls, back in your gowns.
Let's go.
Come on.
Okay, ladies, let's head inside to the green room for touch ups.
- Pick it up.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go! [Engine starts.]
Thank you.
Chin up.
It's not that big of a deal.
Jameson, pick it up.
Let's go.
Look at you.
Hit it out for the win, like there's nothing you can't do.
- Okay, Chet.
- Nothing we can't do.
- [Siren wails.]
- We're good together.
Working together side by side, it reminded me of the way things used to be.
- [Scoffs.]
- You know? I-I should've left Cynthia the day I met you.
[Sighs.]
I would've saved everybody a lot of grief.
You're the love of my life.
Look.
I-I want you to trust me, okay? 'Cause I-I have a baby now, and I've I've changed.
I'm responsible now.
If we tried this again, if we tried it again, it would be a whole new universe.
It would be it'd be the one you deserve.
[Sirens approaching.]
If we're gonna do this, it would be Oh, I told them to go around the corner, not down the drive a whole new universe.
Well, who called the cops? Uh Chet Wilton? Oh, no.
Uh, you know what? This isn't what it looks like.
I assure you You're under arrest for kidnapping - and child endangerment.
- She's gonna keep okay.
- Seriously? - This is ridiculous.
- You stole your kid? - No.
No.
- [Baby crying.]
- Uh, that's my son, okay? - Get your hands behind your back.
- That's my son.
- Hey! - Hands behind your back.
- What is she doing? - Stand down, stand down.
All right, I'm not I'm fine.
- I meant every word I said.
- [Handcuffs click.]
- Come on.
- Okay? Every word, Quinn.
What are you doing with my son? [Crying continues.]
[Car door closes.]
"Everlasting" is about love.
But sometimes, love is about loss.
Letting five of you go feels big.
Like it's the end of one thing and the beginning of something else.
If I call your name, come stand beside me.
We'll continue this journey together.
If I don't well, I wish you all the best.
Ruby.
Chantal.
Tiffany.
Jameson.
Beth Ann.
It's the last one.
Thank you.
Yael.
London: So, I'm just a joke? Drunk Muslim, huh? - You can shove this up your - [Microphone static.]
Come on! Go, go, go! Follow the drama! Go! [Humming.]
Yael: Phew! So, this is the party truck, huh? You found it.
You gonna give me some? [Sighs.]
[Clears throat.]
So, I think Rachel hates me.
[Chuckles.]
Join the club.
Why does she hate you? Oh, you two had a thing, huh? Yeah, we're, uh we're not gonna talk about that.
It's pretty amazing how she gets everybody to do the things they do.
You don't know the half of it.
I'd like to know.
All of it.
That would require me getting to know you a lot better.
Well, in that case, why don't you give me a tour? It's a pretty small truck.
Not much to see.
I, um I wasn't talking about the truck.
[Grunts.]
Graham: "Everlasting" is about love.
[Tape whirring.]
You want a beer? I'm not your friend.
Congratulations.
You showed me, huh? I guess you can make this show without me.
Look, Quinn, I know we're fighting about work stuff, but Work stuff? What other stuff is there? That's us.
We work.
And not well.
I'm done.
I'm done with all the garbage people in my life.
Randy, Chet, and now you.
Um, I'm sorry.
They keep calling the production office.
They want to know what to do with your father's personal effects.
Quinn: Just put everything in the house, throw in a match, and burn it to the ground.
[Cellphone clatters.]
You're a hard man to find.
You alone? You mean are there cameras on my ass? No, they don't follow me.
I'm not a wifey.
Can I sit down? [Sighs.]
So, Romeo left, huh? What happened? I'm tired of people telling me what to do, so I let him go.
He's family, Darius.
You can't just let him go.
Hey, what's going on with you? Seriously, this is just me, okay? This is not about some game.
Are you okay? [Sighs.]
Man, I don't like what this place is doing to everybody.
Hell, I don't like what it's doing to me.
What's it doing to you? Making me care too much about what other people think.
Like who? Like you.
[Chuckles.]
- Well, that's okay, then.
- [Chuckles.]
You're so strong.
I mean, don't get me wrong, you got a mouth on you and all, but A mouth.
Okay, grandma.
[Both laugh.]
I spent my entire life letting other people make decisions for me.
Not anymore.
It's time I be my own man.
I get that.
It just It just feels good to do something I want to do.
Not to worry for once, to take a chance.
See, that's the guy I want to be.
So do it.
Be that guy.
[Soft music plays.]
Are you sure this is what that guy wants? Yeah.
This is exactly what that guy wants.
[Rumspringa's "Musical Chairs" plays.]
[Car alarm chirps.]
Wasserman, where are you going? Hey, you.
Want a beer? Yes, I'd love this.
Good.
Please.
Thank you.
Are we doing this, Wasserman? It's been a long time coming down Bet you thought I'd never come around With this sound, but I did Pull up a chair, it's time to get yours Get, get, get yours, baby Pull up a chair, it's time to get yours Yeah, yeah