Video Game High School Vghs (2012) s02e04 Episode Script
Thirty Foot Range
Sorry.
Brian, slow down in the hallway! Can't, Ki.
Gotta hustle.
Got a telegram from my mom.
Brian! What's the hurry? I'm meeting my mom at the bus stop.
Are we still on for that thing later? Yup, definitely.
Hey, Brian.
Are you excited for that thing later? Oh crap! That thing that was today? I've got another thing with Jenny.
It's, uh, FPS stuff.
Oh.
Do you wax the boogie boards? Awesome.
We'll hang out tomorrow.
My mom's coming to VGHS, and I haven't heard from her since I left for VGHS.
Sounds boring.
Well, it's not.
Cheeto? Dude, your mom's a cat! Your mom's a cat! Practice.
Time for practice.
I thought we were practicing, but if you need more time to review.
.
.
But seriously, I'm gonna go now, and in two and half minutes, you can come out.
You're kind of freakin' out about this? Freaking out? I'm not freaking out.
You're freaking.
.
.
Safety alarm.
Ok, I'm freaking out.
Dude, chill.
This is supposed to be fun.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I'm just.
.
.
you're mom can't find out about us.
Nobody can find out about us.
This is for real now.
I'm just afraid I'm gonna blow it.
Brian, disarm the bomb! It's gonna blow.
Are you serious, Brian? You suck! Can't disarm a bomb.
I can disarm a bomb.
I can disarm two bombs.
Sorry, guys.
My bad.
Bomb disarms are noob 101, any pro should be able to do it blindfolded.
Coach, I swear I can normally do this.
On that uplifting note, that's practice.
Everyone's dismissed.
Jenny, stick around.
So about Brian, what do you think? I think he's still in the room, mom.
Not for long.
I.
.
.
See ya when I see ya.
Well, that was awkward.
I wanna bench Brian tomorrow.
Okay, why are you telling me? You're my captain.
I wanna hear your opinion.
Well, he's one of the strongest players on our team.
I wouldn't bench him just because he couldn't disarm one stupid bomb.
Guys like Brian are all talent and no discipline.
It shows up in stuff like this.
One stupid bomb could make us lose the game tomorrow, you understand? Yeah, it sounds like you made up your mind.
I tell you what, you make the call.
Bench him or not? Just let me know by game time.
Wendell, rule number five, "No sodas in the hallway.
" Sorry.
Wendell! "No throwing trash in the hallways," rule number 38.
It was an accident? Unfortunately, I caught you with silly string earlier.
That's three infractions.
You know what that means.
Bathroom duty? I'm sorry, but rules are rules.
"Number one RA", snaps, Ki.
Really, snaps.
Though I think that "number two" would be more appropriate! Oh my gosh! Scooped this off your floor a couple a minutes ago.
This isn't just some normal poop that some students might leave.
Oh no.
This came from an animal.
In fact, I'm willing to bet it came from a.
.
.
What were we talking about? No pets allowed, Ki.
So, when I find that cat, you can say goodbye to "number one" because she's coming over to my place.
We're moving in together.
Me and one.
Big step for our relationship.
My friends say I'm one-whipped, but I don't care because I'm ready to commit.
Because I love number one.
Thirty foot range.
What the heck is wrong with you, Ted? I've been holding this track for hours.
When do I get the toy car? This is not a toy, Ted.
This is a custom overdrift USB super car.
What? I want one even more now.
DK, when do I get one? Theodore, you've been a drifter for nearly a fortmonth.
Earning a super car is no small challenge.
It's only for super serious racers.
Serious? I stole soda for you guys.
I beat The Duchess, and I built this boss track, and all my friends have one and I want one.
Now.
Very well, child.
If you will not heed my warning, go grab a book from the bookshelf.
Oh my god.
I know you missed me because I missed you, too, buddy.
Dad's gotta go now to practice his stupid mini-game.
A mini-game that if he messes up will ruin our entire season.
I missed this.
All right.
Wish me luck.
Brian, have you seen if.
.
.
that is.
.
.
a cat.
You have a cat in your room.
Oh, yeah.
This is Cheeto, my best friend from home.
Cheeto, this is Ki.
She's awesome.
All right, well, I gotta go.
You two have fun.
Gotta practice.
Brian.
Rule number 35.
Are you the cat that's been pooping on my floor? Yes you are.
Behold.
Overdrift Purgatorio.
Designed by the Zen drifting monks of the Hokkaido region.
It remains the most extreme overdrift game ever conceived.
Should a player be brave enough, skilled enough, crazy enough, to tame one of the wild super cars, Purgatorio shall grant him a jewel fit for a king.
Alas, in their mad dreams to construct the ultimate racer the drift monks installed a feature way too hardcore for the casual gamer.
You see, when you enter Purgatorio, you cannot leave until you win.
They say that one kid got trapped in there for three days.
I heard another kid peed his pants.
I heard a kid died.
All those legends are both true and untrue, except for the one where the kid died.
That's why they banned the game, and Purgatorio vanished into antiquity! Until I found a copy.
On E-bay.
So, Theodore, now that you've heard the tale, I have only one question.
Did you go to the bathroom first? I can hold it.
We shall see, Ted.
We shall see.
Ah, god.
You've done this a thousand times.
Hi buddy.
All right, no more screwing around.
I can do this.
He's been in there for hours, DK.
He's not ready for this.
Were you ready, Tricksy? Or any of us? Crap, I really gotta pee.
All right.
Ok.
No.
It can't be.
I thought they patched her out.
Patched her out? That car is no bug, child.
Then what is she? A cruel joke programmed by the monks at the height of their madness.
Better pass, Ted.
Heed not her siren's call.
Oh, sweet stripes.
No way you're getting passed me without a race, buddy.
Now poop.
Good boy.
Hello.
Um, do you want me to do the girl's bathroom, too, or just.
.
.
? Is that a cat? Yes.
Uh, yes it is.
.
.
a cat.
Why would you have a cat? You're breaking a.
.
.
rule.
You're breaking Rule 35.
You see, that's not entirely true.
I am the RA, and I just trained.
.
.
Uh-uh.
No.
No.
'Cause you.
.
.
you said "rules are rules.
" That's what you.
.
.
said.
You, said "rules are rules.
" Wendell, control your breathing.
No! No! You're breaking the rules, Ki.
I'm not gonna.
.
.
I'm not gonna listen to anything you say anymore, ok? Oh my god! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Ki's housing a cat! She's breaking a rule! Everybody back inside.
No! No! No, no, no! Oh my god! The rules.
The rules are all a lie.
The rules are all a lie.
Nothing is real.
Authority! Authority extension! Silly string fight! No! No! Stop it! Brian! Hey, how's it goin'? All freshed up? Yeah, good to go.
Good.
Well, in that case, wanna go? You know, actually, I think I may just stay and practice a little more.
Really? You're good, though, right? Like for tomorrow.
You've got the whole bomb thing down? Yeah.
Yeah.
Like all the way down.
'Cause Brian if you don't, I really need to know that.
No.
No.
No.
Jenny, I've been at this for like hours, so why don't we go grab a bite to eat? See you in the closet in five.
Ok.
No! No! Not again! Yeah! Well, girl, you are pretty crazy, but I like that! I'm gonna call you Helenore.
What? But you're my car now! Helenore! Come back! Come on, DK.
We'll pry him out in the morning.
Attention frag floor residents, rules are rules.
That means no pets.
No silly string! No sodas in the halls! No unsanctioned pizza parties! Now, clean up! What have I done? Cheeto? Cheeto? Cheeto?! To.
.
.
explosive chemistry.
I can't do it! I can't disarm a bomb.
What? You said that you could.
I lied.
I'm sorry.
I told my mom that you could do it.
She wanted to bench you.
Well, I can't.
She probabaly should.
No, no, no.
It's fine.
You'll probably just do your Brian thing and it'll all.
.
.
No, Jenny, I can't do it.
I couldn't do it all afternoon.
I don't know why.
I just can't.
Well, that sucks.
I'm gonna have to put somebody else in.
Look, just next time don't lie to me about it, ok? I won't.
I promise.
All right.
I should go.
Thanks.
Ok.
Thirty second time's the charm.
Easy, girl.
Easy.
No! What do you want from me? Oh, you want to race again? Well, forget it! You're a stupid cheating butt, and I hope you crash, you piece of junk.
You heard what I said.
Go away! Cheeto? Cheeto? Cheeto.
Hi.
I'm sorry I threw you out earlier.
I didn't mean to.
I did mean to, but.
.
.
let's get you home to Brian.
Man, cats are really easy to grab, am I right? Especially the dumb ones.
Well, it's time to get you in trouble.
Shane, please.
That's Brian's cat.
You're a business man.
I'm sure we can work this out.
Sorry, Kiwi, rules are rules.
Viva la vista! Those guys bein' mean to ya back there? There ya go.
That's better.
Look, do you wanna race? I'm gonna be stuck here for a while, so.
.
.
No fair starting without me.
I'm empty.
Ok, on three.
Ok, yeah.
Heads up! It's the final round.
VGHS has one final chance to disarm the bomb and win the game.
Games, don't charge the bomb.
Sorry.
I don't need sorrys.
I need you to get it together.
This is the final round, guys.
They are adapting and nailing us to the wall.
I need to throw them a curve ball.
Put in Brian.
With all due respect, coach, Brian will crush this.
I know he may be undisciplined, but when you need him, he steps up to the plate.
Trust me.
Put him in.
Coach with even more due respect, the Deanster may have failed in covering Jenny, but when the going gets tough, the Deanster gets.
.
.
Out.
Dean, you're out.
Brain's in.
Hey, I get it.
You just wanna play.
Ok, then.
Let's play! Jax! Move! Law, turn it around! Aw, no can do.
It's outta range! Also, who's this Law feller ya'll talkin' about? What happens when it goes out of range, Law? It goes home! I'm not Law! VGHS! Well, it's just you and me now, Jax.
Bomb armed.
Okay, I'm gonna go stand up and disarm the bomb.
Yes! Great race! Really? Do you think I'm gonna fall for that again? Yes! And that's how I got Cheeto to become the school mascot.
Thanks again, Ki.
How was your day, Ted? It was all right.
Psych! It was awesome! First, I woke up.
Wait, no go back.
First, I was asleep, and then I woke up.
And then I went to Pur-ga-tur-i-o! He's on to me.
Better call.
.
.
huh? Better call who? Sorry, man.
I'll let you get back to that.
No problem.
By the way, it's "Better call whom?" Oh, jeez, thanks! Better call whom? He was wrong.
It's "Better call who?" I knew it!
Brian, slow down in the hallway! Can't, Ki.
Gotta hustle.
Got a telegram from my mom.
Brian! What's the hurry? I'm meeting my mom at the bus stop.
Are we still on for that thing later? Yup, definitely.
Hey, Brian.
Are you excited for that thing later? Oh crap! That thing that was today? I've got another thing with Jenny.
It's, uh, FPS stuff.
Oh.
Do you wax the boogie boards? Awesome.
We'll hang out tomorrow.
My mom's coming to VGHS, and I haven't heard from her since I left for VGHS.
Sounds boring.
Well, it's not.
Cheeto? Dude, your mom's a cat! Your mom's a cat! Practice.
Time for practice.
I thought we were practicing, but if you need more time to review.
.
.
But seriously, I'm gonna go now, and in two and half minutes, you can come out.
You're kind of freakin' out about this? Freaking out? I'm not freaking out.
You're freaking.
.
.
Safety alarm.
Ok, I'm freaking out.
Dude, chill.
This is supposed to be fun.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I'm just.
.
.
you're mom can't find out about us.
Nobody can find out about us.
This is for real now.
I'm just afraid I'm gonna blow it.
Brian, disarm the bomb! It's gonna blow.
Are you serious, Brian? You suck! Can't disarm a bomb.
I can disarm a bomb.
I can disarm two bombs.
Sorry, guys.
My bad.
Bomb disarms are noob 101, any pro should be able to do it blindfolded.
Coach, I swear I can normally do this.
On that uplifting note, that's practice.
Everyone's dismissed.
Jenny, stick around.
So about Brian, what do you think? I think he's still in the room, mom.
Not for long.
I.
.
.
See ya when I see ya.
Well, that was awkward.
I wanna bench Brian tomorrow.
Okay, why are you telling me? You're my captain.
I wanna hear your opinion.
Well, he's one of the strongest players on our team.
I wouldn't bench him just because he couldn't disarm one stupid bomb.
Guys like Brian are all talent and no discipline.
It shows up in stuff like this.
One stupid bomb could make us lose the game tomorrow, you understand? Yeah, it sounds like you made up your mind.
I tell you what, you make the call.
Bench him or not? Just let me know by game time.
Wendell, rule number five, "No sodas in the hallway.
" Sorry.
Wendell! "No throwing trash in the hallways," rule number 38.
It was an accident? Unfortunately, I caught you with silly string earlier.
That's three infractions.
You know what that means.
Bathroom duty? I'm sorry, but rules are rules.
"Number one RA", snaps, Ki.
Really, snaps.
Though I think that "number two" would be more appropriate! Oh my gosh! Scooped this off your floor a couple a minutes ago.
This isn't just some normal poop that some students might leave.
Oh no.
This came from an animal.
In fact, I'm willing to bet it came from a.
.
.
What were we talking about? No pets allowed, Ki.
So, when I find that cat, you can say goodbye to "number one" because she's coming over to my place.
We're moving in together.
Me and one.
Big step for our relationship.
My friends say I'm one-whipped, but I don't care because I'm ready to commit.
Because I love number one.
Thirty foot range.
What the heck is wrong with you, Ted? I've been holding this track for hours.
When do I get the toy car? This is not a toy, Ted.
This is a custom overdrift USB super car.
What? I want one even more now.
DK, when do I get one? Theodore, you've been a drifter for nearly a fortmonth.
Earning a super car is no small challenge.
It's only for super serious racers.
Serious? I stole soda for you guys.
I beat The Duchess, and I built this boss track, and all my friends have one and I want one.
Now.
Very well, child.
If you will not heed my warning, go grab a book from the bookshelf.
Oh my god.
I know you missed me because I missed you, too, buddy.
Dad's gotta go now to practice his stupid mini-game.
A mini-game that if he messes up will ruin our entire season.
I missed this.
All right.
Wish me luck.
Brian, have you seen if.
.
.
that is.
.
.
a cat.
You have a cat in your room.
Oh, yeah.
This is Cheeto, my best friend from home.
Cheeto, this is Ki.
She's awesome.
All right, well, I gotta go.
You two have fun.
Gotta practice.
Brian.
Rule number 35.
Are you the cat that's been pooping on my floor? Yes you are.
Behold.
Overdrift Purgatorio.
Designed by the Zen drifting monks of the Hokkaido region.
It remains the most extreme overdrift game ever conceived.
Should a player be brave enough, skilled enough, crazy enough, to tame one of the wild super cars, Purgatorio shall grant him a jewel fit for a king.
Alas, in their mad dreams to construct the ultimate racer the drift monks installed a feature way too hardcore for the casual gamer.
You see, when you enter Purgatorio, you cannot leave until you win.
They say that one kid got trapped in there for three days.
I heard another kid peed his pants.
I heard a kid died.
All those legends are both true and untrue, except for the one where the kid died.
That's why they banned the game, and Purgatorio vanished into antiquity! Until I found a copy.
On E-bay.
So, Theodore, now that you've heard the tale, I have only one question.
Did you go to the bathroom first? I can hold it.
We shall see, Ted.
We shall see.
Ah, god.
You've done this a thousand times.
Hi buddy.
All right, no more screwing around.
I can do this.
He's been in there for hours, DK.
He's not ready for this.
Were you ready, Tricksy? Or any of us? Crap, I really gotta pee.
All right.
Ok.
No.
It can't be.
I thought they patched her out.
Patched her out? That car is no bug, child.
Then what is she? A cruel joke programmed by the monks at the height of their madness.
Better pass, Ted.
Heed not her siren's call.
Oh, sweet stripes.
No way you're getting passed me without a race, buddy.
Now poop.
Good boy.
Hello.
Um, do you want me to do the girl's bathroom, too, or just.
.
.
? Is that a cat? Yes.
Uh, yes it is.
.
.
a cat.
Why would you have a cat? You're breaking a.
.
.
rule.
You're breaking Rule 35.
You see, that's not entirely true.
I am the RA, and I just trained.
.
.
Uh-uh.
No.
No.
'Cause you.
.
.
you said "rules are rules.
" That's what you.
.
.
said.
You, said "rules are rules.
" Wendell, control your breathing.
No! No! You're breaking the rules, Ki.
I'm not gonna.
.
.
I'm not gonna listen to anything you say anymore, ok? Oh my god! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Ki's housing a cat! She's breaking a rule! Everybody back inside.
No! No! No, no, no! Oh my god! The rules.
The rules are all a lie.
The rules are all a lie.
Nothing is real.
Authority! Authority extension! Silly string fight! No! No! Stop it! Brian! Hey, how's it goin'? All freshed up? Yeah, good to go.
Good.
Well, in that case, wanna go? You know, actually, I think I may just stay and practice a little more.
Really? You're good, though, right? Like for tomorrow.
You've got the whole bomb thing down? Yeah.
Yeah.
Like all the way down.
'Cause Brian if you don't, I really need to know that.
No.
No.
No.
Jenny, I've been at this for like hours, so why don't we go grab a bite to eat? See you in the closet in five.
Ok.
No! No! Not again! Yeah! Well, girl, you are pretty crazy, but I like that! I'm gonna call you Helenore.
What? But you're my car now! Helenore! Come back! Come on, DK.
We'll pry him out in the morning.
Attention frag floor residents, rules are rules.
That means no pets.
No silly string! No sodas in the halls! No unsanctioned pizza parties! Now, clean up! What have I done? Cheeto? Cheeto? Cheeto?! To.
.
.
explosive chemistry.
I can't do it! I can't disarm a bomb.
What? You said that you could.
I lied.
I'm sorry.
I told my mom that you could do it.
She wanted to bench you.
Well, I can't.
She probabaly should.
No, no, no.
It's fine.
You'll probably just do your Brian thing and it'll all.
.
.
No, Jenny, I can't do it.
I couldn't do it all afternoon.
I don't know why.
I just can't.
Well, that sucks.
I'm gonna have to put somebody else in.
Look, just next time don't lie to me about it, ok? I won't.
I promise.
All right.
I should go.
Thanks.
Ok.
Thirty second time's the charm.
Easy, girl.
Easy.
No! What do you want from me? Oh, you want to race again? Well, forget it! You're a stupid cheating butt, and I hope you crash, you piece of junk.
You heard what I said.
Go away! Cheeto? Cheeto? Cheeto.
Hi.
I'm sorry I threw you out earlier.
I didn't mean to.
I did mean to, but.
.
.
let's get you home to Brian.
Man, cats are really easy to grab, am I right? Especially the dumb ones.
Well, it's time to get you in trouble.
Shane, please.
That's Brian's cat.
You're a business man.
I'm sure we can work this out.
Sorry, Kiwi, rules are rules.
Viva la vista! Those guys bein' mean to ya back there? There ya go.
That's better.
Look, do you wanna race? I'm gonna be stuck here for a while, so.
.
.
No fair starting without me.
I'm empty.
Ok, on three.
Ok, yeah.
Heads up! It's the final round.
VGHS has one final chance to disarm the bomb and win the game.
Games, don't charge the bomb.
Sorry.
I don't need sorrys.
I need you to get it together.
This is the final round, guys.
They are adapting and nailing us to the wall.
I need to throw them a curve ball.
Put in Brian.
With all due respect, coach, Brian will crush this.
I know he may be undisciplined, but when you need him, he steps up to the plate.
Trust me.
Put him in.
Coach with even more due respect, the Deanster may have failed in covering Jenny, but when the going gets tough, the Deanster gets.
.
.
Out.
Dean, you're out.
Brain's in.
Hey, I get it.
You just wanna play.
Ok, then.
Let's play! Jax! Move! Law, turn it around! Aw, no can do.
It's outta range! Also, who's this Law feller ya'll talkin' about? What happens when it goes out of range, Law? It goes home! I'm not Law! VGHS! Well, it's just you and me now, Jax.
Bomb armed.
Okay, I'm gonna go stand up and disarm the bomb.
Yes! Great race! Really? Do you think I'm gonna fall for that again? Yes! And that's how I got Cheeto to become the school mascot.
Thanks again, Ki.
How was your day, Ted? It was all right.
Psych! It was awesome! First, I woke up.
Wait, no go back.
First, I was asleep, and then I woke up.
And then I went to Pur-ga-tur-i-o! He's on to me.
Better call.
.
.
huh? Better call who? Sorry, man.
I'll let you get back to that.
No problem.
By the way, it's "Better call whom?" Oh, jeez, thanks! Better call whom? He was wrong.
It's "Better call who?" I knew it!