Wander Over Yonder (2013) s02e04 Episode Script
The Wanders; The Axe
1 Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Alright! Hater! Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder Wander Wander over over yonder yonder Wander yonder Yip bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit Wander over yonder This is nuts! Oooo, good idea! Squills love nuts! Excuse me, ma'am, but would you happen to have any peanuts that my companion and I might use to entice your frightened little one home and back into the warm embrace of his lovin' family? Oh, there he goes! I'll save you! Wander, no! I don't like the looks of that cave! I know.
But if something horrible happens to that little guy, I'd never forgive myself.
But what if something horrible happens to you? Wander.
No.
No.
- No! - Sorry.
I love you.
Love you too, buddy, but why is there this part of you that always has to do the wrong things for the right reasons?! - Wander! - This is amazing! Oh, thank Grop he's okay! I'm gonna throttle him! Whoaa.
It's bee-yoo-tiful.
Well, I'll be.
It's multiple me's! Howdy do to you! I mean, me! - That is awesome! - I know, right? What have I asked you about? Runnin' off like that.
Promise you will never do that Hey, what did I just say? This is amazing! - Let's go! - Yeah! This is great! What is going on?! Hey, keep it down out here, I'm trying to slee Wander! Wander? Wander! - What is going on?! - The indigenous crystals have fractured the varying facets of my persona and liberated them, sending them traipsing over the countryside, hither and yon' time is of the essence; if the personality fragments are not reunited expeditiously, the original specimen will disappear forever! Okay, wait, so if he's him, and he is him, and you're him, then that means that they're also him, but if I don't get them and you and him back into him, then he won't be him anymore? In an inarticulate garbled manner of speaking - yes.
- Thanks.
It's all I needed.
Not so smart now, are ya? No! Is this the end of overly dramatic Wander?! And scene.
Yes! You're gonna be okay, pal.
Just gotta the rest of yous back into you.
Hey, pal! Come here! No.
No.
No! Oh, I get it.
You're the one that always runs off and does stuff even though I tell you not to! Well, fine! Go! It's your fault we're in this mess in the first place.
Wander's better off without you.
That's a lot of Wanders.
Four hundred twenty, to be precise.
- There's Angry Wander.
- Flabdrassit! Burping Wander.
- Curious Wander.
- Hey! What's that? Distracted Wander.
- Easily-impressed Wander.
- That's amazing! - Zen Wander.
- They who act in haste, effort will they waste.
The Dancing Wanders.
# Oh, plunkin', plunkin' # That's what I do I pluck my banjo And I sing you a tune I sing so sweetly And it goes like this Bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit - Tree Hugger Wander.
- Man, scope out that view.
That's amazing! - Hero Wander.
- I'll save you! Blonde Wig Wander.
I'll save you.
That's amazing! Woohoo! I can't do this! I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Don't be all down in the dumps.
It's always sunny somewhere, Sylvie, ol' girl.
Sylvia, Sylvia, she's our man, if she can't do it, no one can! Yeah? Maybe you're right.
That's ama Okay.
Let's catch some Wanders using their traits as bait! That rhymed! I love you.
Oh, no! You're a mess! Mess.
Mess.
Did someone say mess? Clean up.
Clean it up now! - Obsessy via Messy? Check and check.
- That also rhymed! I love you.
Five down, 415 to go! Tea time! Time for girls to try on shoes and talk about lady things.
Two helpless females all alone.
I hope no bad guys are nearby.
Help! Help! Save me! - I'll save yo - Save it.
I'm the hero now.
Smell that righteous grub.
You're doing great.
I love you.
Gosh, oh golly, those Wanders over there sure look sad.
I love you all! And heeere's Wander! Wander? Come on, buddy.
Please? What's wrong? I put them all back in.
Who did I forget? No.
No.
Not him.
He's the one that always gets us into trouble.
And he won't listen to me anyway.
If you don't accept all of us, you accept none of us.
Whoooaa.
That's deep, dude.
He's just gonna cause trouble and then I don't wanna Flabdrassin' Wanders, make me do the wrong things for the right reasons.
Hm.
This one always does whatever I tell him not to.
Ding! Gotcha! Are we sure about this? 'Cause my life is pretty crazy with this one in it.
But it'll be so much worse without you.
Yeeee-haw! Wander? Are-Are you okay? I'm more than okay.
I'm perfect! Now come, trusty steed, it's time to stop that heartless evil-doer, Lord Hater, once and for all! Hyah! - Wait, what? Stop? - Yes.
I am a good guy.
And he is a bad guy.
And I stop him.
No, no, no, no.
The Wander I know wants to befriend Hater, not stop him.
Wait.
Why are all these other Wanders still up there? Something's not right.
Wander.
That crystal has no reflection.
We're still missing some part of you.
That's okay.
I'm a lot better without it.
- Let's go go go.
- No.
I've learned my lesson.
Every part of you is important.
The helper seeks to help because he knows what it is to be helpless.
Hey, little guy, it's okay.
I won't hurt you.
Come on.
Home.
Thanks, Syl.
That was the most important part.
Whoo.
I wouldn't want someone else to go through what I went through.
Love that part of you, buddy.
Over? What do you mean it's over? But I conquered you! Your planet belongs to me.
Belonged to you.
Look, you really haven't been around a lot lately, so we weren't even sure if you were still underruling us anymore, so we, like, uh, well, we met someone else.
Someone else?! Who?! Is it Emperor Awesome? The Black Cube of Darkness? Dominator?! - It's a it's the, uh - Evil Sandwich! That's right! It is I, Sourdough.
The Evil Sandwich.
And I have seized control of yet another one of your planets, - Lord Hater.
- Oh, yeah? Well, I didn't even want that stupid planet anyway.
I got pleeenty of other planets that are waay better.
No, you don't! Have you checked the villain leaderboard lately? Uh, yeah.
I don't know the exact number, but I'm like waaay up there.
Right, Peepers? Oh, the sandwich is right, sir.
That was the last planet we had control of in this system, which knocks us completely off the villain board.
You're more of a "ne'er-do-well" than a villain.
How bad are you at this? Wow, you can't even do that right.
How'd that work out for ya? Sir.
This is exactly what I warned you about in my report entitled "Oblique Strategies for Successful Masters of Evil.
" I clearly stated that the only to truly rule the galaxy is through careful planning, precise focus, and hard work.
- But, noooo.
You - Me?! Don't tell me what being evil is all about! It's about being all Scary bad guy stuff, not, uh blah blah meeting, staff, business guy stuff Wow.
I can't believe I never figured this out before.
The reason we've been failing all this time is because You waste all our resources trying to destroy a happy-go-lucky do-gooder who just wants to be your friend? Because you and your boring plans have been keeping me down, Civilian Peepers! Uh, sir, with due respect, it's Commander.
Not anymore.
You're fired.
Oh, this isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
This This isn't happening.
He'll realize he made a mistake.
He needs me.
- Peepers, I need you.
- Of course, sir, what can I do for you? Before you GO, how do I, like, find planets to conquer? Are they just sort of around, or Check the intergalactic matrix in the command console.
The red button on the black thing.
Thanks! Man, I'm so stoked to be running things without you getting in my way all the time.
Anyway, you're still fired! Adios.
Peepers, wait.
Yes? You know those eyeball guys I have? How often do I need to change their batteries? They're not robots, they're watch dogs.
Oh, they're dogs.
Huh.
So I gotta walk them then They're not dogs either, they're Gotcha.
Robot dogs feed them batteries.
Thanks, buddy! I owe ya.
Not enough to save your job though.
- Peepers, wait.
- What? Look, I realize now I may have been a bit hasty before.
- You do? - Yeah, I almost forgot to ask you, what's your log-in password? I need to erase you from the system.
Hater-and-Peepers-Forever.
That's H-8-R-N-P33P3RS with "3" for the "e's", 4-E-V-R.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete Actually, no.
These memories We've been through a lot together, haven't we? - Yes, sir, we sure have.
- I'm having second thoughts.
Instead of deleting these, could you just crop yourself out of 'em? Cool.
Well, goodbye forever.
He'll see.
Wait'll he tries conquering something without me.
Meet the universe's ultimate evil-doer Hater! Hooray! - Yeah! - # Who set the record for galactic explosions # - # Hater! # - You got hated! - # You better run! # - Booyah! Hater It all went by so fast The conquests and the glory - # But now my time here's passed # - Whoa! Yeah! And I've been shown the door-y I'm a commander who's made his last command I used to be his right-hand man But a sandwich took our planets and I got canned A commander who's made his last command - Where to, my friend? - Just drive.
Who wants batteries? - Hater! - Well, well, well.
Sourdough.
I must admit, it was a pleasure to beat you.
Oh, I should've said, "eat you .
" Do over.
Wow.
You're even bad at sandwich puns.
Sad.
Why are you messing with my planets?! Oh, do you mean my planets? The planets that used to be yours but are now totally mine 'cause I conquered 'em because I'm awesome and you're a dumb sandwich.
Those planets? You're conquered.
- Deal with it, pimento brain.
- What? You didn't conquer squat.
You just knocked off crowns, planted flags, and did stupid dances.
- Uh, yeah.
I conquered them.
- No.
That's wrong.
You've got to leave a battalion behind.
Establish infrastructure.
Don't you know anything about being an evil ruler? - Uhhh - Where's the angry little smart guy? The one who actually knows what evil is all about.
I know what evil is all about! Prepare to become a patty melt.
- Uh, finger slipped.
- Fire! Which one's the shieldy thing? How are you so bad at this? I conquered this entire quadrant.
And I'm a sandwich.
You're a powerful electrical skeleton man! Shut your buns! Saline tester? I could do that.
- Hey, Peepers.
'Sup? - Sir? Just one last question.
Not that I need your help.
But if someone got in a major dog fight with a sandwich, what would one do? - Oh.
I thought I was in your way.
- Oh, you were.
Big time.
And I can handle this.
But I'm just going around, getting second opinions.
I don't know.
Is there maybe something you want to tell me first? Maybe you wanna say you're Sorry? Nope.
Uh, can't think of anything.
- Hurry, Lord Hater, apologize! - I don't wanna! - I'm waiting.
- You want advice? - In old galaxy, I work as villain.
- Shut your face! Peepers, come on! What did I ever do to you? I'm sorry you felt I did something wrong.
I'm sorry that you're such a whiny over-sensitive baby! No, no, no, no, wait, please, I can get this.
This was my bad and I'm sooooor I'm sorry.
I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this.
Close enough.
Watch dogs! We're pulling a reverse Galaxon Phalanx maneuver into an aggressive Cropdust Wedge! Eye Fighters, deploy! Shields, activate! And with Sandwich's whole armada focused on US he's left his planets totally vulnerable! Ooo, ooo.
I wanna help.
What can I do? What you do best, sir.
Who is the universe's ultimate evil-doer? Hater! Evil Sandwich! You're toast! Yeah! Evil's getting revenge Now for the finishing touch.
Evil Sandwich.
Hey, Hater.
So glad we're back together.
It was so embarrassing being ruled by a sandwich.
Well, I couldn't have done it without me! If I hadn't fired Peepers, this never would have happened.
Oh.
Sir.
Don't make me fire you again.
Commander Peepers Bleep bloop; rules and planning; strategy; no emotion; does not compute;; servo shutting down; nee nor System's operating at peak efficiency.
I am a giant nerd.
But if something horrible happens to that little guy, I'd never forgive myself.
But what if something horrible happens to you? Wander.
No.
No.
- No! - Sorry.
I love you.
Love you too, buddy, but why is there this part of you that always has to do the wrong things for the right reasons?! - Wander! - This is amazing! Oh, thank Grop he's okay! I'm gonna throttle him! Whoaa.
It's bee-yoo-tiful.
Well, I'll be.
It's multiple me's! Howdy do to you! I mean, me! - That is awesome! - I know, right? What have I asked you about? Runnin' off like that.
Promise you will never do that Hey, what did I just say? This is amazing! - Let's go! - Yeah! This is great! What is going on?! Hey, keep it down out here, I'm trying to slee Wander! Wander? Wander! - What is going on?! - The indigenous crystals have fractured the varying facets of my persona and liberated them, sending them traipsing over the countryside, hither and yon' time is of the essence; if the personality fragments are not reunited expeditiously, the original specimen will disappear forever! Okay, wait, so if he's him, and he is him, and you're him, then that means that they're also him, but if I don't get them and you and him back into him, then he won't be him anymore? In an inarticulate garbled manner of speaking - yes.
- Thanks.
It's all I needed.
Not so smart now, are ya? No! Is this the end of overly dramatic Wander?! And scene.
Yes! You're gonna be okay, pal.
Just gotta the rest of yous back into you.
Hey, pal! Come here! No.
No.
No! Oh, I get it.
You're the one that always runs off and does stuff even though I tell you not to! Well, fine! Go! It's your fault we're in this mess in the first place.
Wander's better off without you.
That's a lot of Wanders.
Four hundred twenty, to be precise.
- There's Angry Wander.
- Flabdrassit! Burping Wander.
- Curious Wander.
- Hey! What's that? Distracted Wander.
- Easily-impressed Wander.
- That's amazing! - Zen Wander.
- They who act in haste, effort will they waste.
The Dancing Wanders.
# Oh, plunkin', plunkin' # That's what I do I pluck my banjo And I sing you a tune I sing so sweetly And it goes like this Bi di dit bip bi-ee-i-di-dit - Tree Hugger Wander.
- Man, scope out that view.
That's amazing! - Hero Wander.
- I'll save you! Blonde Wig Wander.
I'll save you.
That's amazing! Woohoo! I can't do this! I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Don't be all down in the dumps.
It's always sunny somewhere, Sylvie, ol' girl.
Sylvia, Sylvia, she's our man, if she can't do it, no one can! Yeah? Maybe you're right.
That's ama Okay.
Let's catch some Wanders using their traits as bait! That rhymed! I love you.
Oh, no! You're a mess! Mess.
Mess.
Did someone say mess? Clean up.
Clean it up now! - Obsessy via Messy? Check and check.
- That also rhymed! I love you.
Five down, 415 to go! Tea time! Time for girls to try on shoes and talk about lady things.
Two helpless females all alone.
I hope no bad guys are nearby.
Help! Help! Save me! - I'll save yo - Save it.
I'm the hero now.
Smell that righteous grub.
You're doing great.
I love you.
Gosh, oh golly, those Wanders over there sure look sad.
I love you all! And heeere's Wander! Wander? Come on, buddy.
Please? What's wrong? I put them all back in.
Who did I forget? No.
No.
Not him.
He's the one that always gets us into trouble.
And he won't listen to me anyway.
If you don't accept all of us, you accept none of us.
Whoooaa.
That's deep, dude.
He's just gonna cause trouble and then I don't wanna Flabdrassin' Wanders, make me do the wrong things for the right reasons.
Hm.
This one always does whatever I tell him not to.
Ding! Gotcha! Are we sure about this? 'Cause my life is pretty crazy with this one in it.
But it'll be so much worse without you.
Yeeee-haw! Wander? Are-Are you okay? I'm more than okay.
I'm perfect! Now come, trusty steed, it's time to stop that heartless evil-doer, Lord Hater, once and for all! Hyah! - Wait, what? Stop? - Yes.
I am a good guy.
And he is a bad guy.
And I stop him.
No, no, no, no.
The Wander I know wants to befriend Hater, not stop him.
Wait.
Why are all these other Wanders still up there? Something's not right.
Wander.
That crystal has no reflection.
We're still missing some part of you.
That's okay.
I'm a lot better without it.
- Let's go go go.
- No.
I've learned my lesson.
Every part of you is important.
The helper seeks to help because he knows what it is to be helpless.
Hey, little guy, it's okay.
I won't hurt you.
Come on.
Home.
Thanks, Syl.
That was the most important part.
Whoo.
I wouldn't want someone else to go through what I went through.
Love that part of you, buddy.
Over? What do you mean it's over? But I conquered you! Your planet belongs to me.
Belonged to you.
Look, you really haven't been around a lot lately, so we weren't even sure if you were still underruling us anymore, so we, like, uh, well, we met someone else.
Someone else?! Who?! Is it Emperor Awesome? The Black Cube of Darkness? Dominator?! - It's a it's the, uh - Evil Sandwich! That's right! It is I, Sourdough.
The Evil Sandwich.
And I have seized control of yet another one of your planets, - Lord Hater.
- Oh, yeah? Well, I didn't even want that stupid planet anyway.
I got pleeenty of other planets that are waay better.
No, you don't! Have you checked the villain leaderboard lately? Uh, yeah.
I don't know the exact number, but I'm like waaay up there.
Right, Peepers? Oh, the sandwich is right, sir.
That was the last planet we had control of in this system, which knocks us completely off the villain board.
You're more of a "ne'er-do-well" than a villain.
How bad are you at this? Wow, you can't even do that right.
How'd that work out for ya? Sir.
This is exactly what I warned you about in my report entitled "Oblique Strategies for Successful Masters of Evil.
" I clearly stated that the only to truly rule the galaxy is through careful planning, precise focus, and hard work.
- But, noooo.
You - Me?! Don't tell me what being evil is all about! It's about being all Scary bad guy stuff, not, uh blah blah meeting, staff, business guy stuff Wow.
I can't believe I never figured this out before.
The reason we've been failing all this time is because You waste all our resources trying to destroy a happy-go-lucky do-gooder who just wants to be your friend? Because you and your boring plans have been keeping me down, Civilian Peepers! Uh, sir, with due respect, it's Commander.
Not anymore.
You're fired.
Oh, this isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
This This isn't happening.
He'll realize he made a mistake.
He needs me.
- Peepers, I need you.
- Of course, sir, what can I do for you? Before you GO, how do I, like, find planets to conquer? Are they just sort of around, or Check the intergalactic matrix in the command console.
The red button on the black thing.
Thanks! Man, I'm so stoked to be running things without you getting in my way all the time.
Anyway, you're still fired! Adios.
Peepers, wait.
Yes? You know those eyeball guys I have? How often do I need to change their batteries? They're not robots, they're watch dogs.
Oh, they're dogs.
Huh.
So I gotta walk them then They're not dogs either, they're Gotcha.
Robot dogs feed them batteries.
Thanks, buddy! I owe ya.
Not enough to save your job though.
- Peepers, wait.
- What? Look, I realize now I may have been a bit hasty before.
- You do? - Yeah, I almost forgot to ask you, what's your log-in password? I need to erase you from the system.
Hater-and-Peepers-Forever.
That's H-8-R-N-P33P3RS with "3" for the "e's", 4-E-V-R.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete that.
Delete Actually, no.
These memories We've been through a lot together, haven't we? - Yes, sir, we sure have.
- I'm having second thoughts.
Instead of deleting these, could you just crop yourself out of 'em? Cool.
Well, goodbye forever.
He'll see.
Wait'll he tries conquering something without me.
Meet the universe's ultimate evil-doer Hater! Hooray! - Yeah! - # Who set the record for galactic explosions # - # Hater! # - You got hated! - # You better run! # - Booyah! Hater It all went by so fast The conquests and the glory - # But now my time here's passed # - Whoa! Yeah! And I've been shown the door-y I'm a commander who's made his last command I used to be his right-hand man But a sandwich took our planets and I got canned A commander who's made his last command - Where to, my friend? - Just drive.
Who wants batteries? - Hater! - Well, well, well.
Sourdough.
I must admit, it was a pleasure to beat you.
Oh, I should've said, "eat you .
" Do over.
Wow.
You're even bad at sandwich puns.
Sad.
Why are you messing with my planets?! Oh, do you mean my planets? The planets that used to be yours but are now totally mine 'cause I conquered 'em because I'm awesome and you're a dumb sandwich.
Those planets? You're conquered.
- Deal with it, pimento brain.
- What? You didn't conquer squat.
You just knocked off crowns, planted flags, and did stupid dances.
- Uh, yeah.
I conquered them.
- No.
That's wrong.
You've got to leave a battalion behind.
Establish infrastructure.
Don't you know anything about being an evil ruler? - Uhhh - Where's the angry little smart guy? The one who actually knows what evil is all about.
I know what evil is all about! Prepare to become a patty melt.
- Uh, finger slipped.
- Fire! Which one's the shieldy thing? How are you so bad at this? I conquered this entire quadrant.
And I'm a sandwich.
You're a powerful electrical skeleton man! Shut your buns! Saline tester? I could do that.
- Hey, Peepers.
'Sup? - Sir? Just one last question.
Not that I need your help.
But if someone got in a major dog fight with a sandwich, what would one do? - Oh.
I thought I was in your way.
- Oh, you were.
Big time.
And I can handle this.
But I'm just going around, getting second opinions.
I don't know.
Is there maybe something you want to tell me first? Maybe you wanna say you're Sorry? Nope.
Uh, can't think of anything.
- Hurry, Lord Hater, apologize! - I don't wanna! - I'm waiting.
- You want advice? - In old galaxy, I work as villain.
- Shut your face! Peepers, come on! What did I ever do to you? I'm sorry you felt I did something wrong.
I'm sorry that you're such a whiny over-sensitive baby! No, no, no, no, wait, please, I can get this.
This was my bad and I'm sooooor I'm sorry.
I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this.
Close enough.
Watch dogs! We're pulling a reverse Galaxon Phalanx maneuver into an aggressive Cropdust Wedge! Eye Fighters, deploy! Shields, activate! And with Sandwich's whole armada focused on US he's left his planets totally vulnerable! Ooo, ooo.
I wanna help.
What can I do? What you do best, sir.
Who is the universe's ultimate evil-doer? Hater! Evil Sandwich! You're toast! Yeah! Evil's getting revenge Now for the finishing touch.
Evil Sandwich.
Hey, Hater.
So glad we're back together.
It was so embarrassing being ruled by a sandwich.
Well, I couldn't have done it without me! If I hadn't fired Peepers, this never would have happened.
Oh.
Sir.
Don't make me fire you again.
Commander Peepers Bleep bloop; rules and planning; strategy; no emotion; does not compute;; servo shutting down; nee nor System's operating at peak efficiency.
I am a giant nerd.