Warehouse 13 s02e04 Episode Script

Previously on Warehouse 13 Hello? Customer.
I have a special Order.
So I just moved here.
Why on Earth would you do that? Oh, dude.
Claudia, wait! I got the parts you ordered! You're a Wonder Twin.
So, Claudia, Todd's cute.
This is me ignoring you.
Myka! Eat shield, stabby! Oh, hey, are you okay? Yeah.
There you go.
Okay.
Let me help you up.
Here we go.
Okay.
Where'd you learn to handle a sword like that? Oh, some girls played with Barbies, others took fencing lessons.
Everybody got all their limbs? That's a big 10 fingers and 10 toes, good buddy.
Behold, mighty Excalibur! You snagged it! This could have been a lot easier if we just swapped it for the fake.
Yeah, only you, Artie, would know it was a tacky wall decoration, in some cheesy castle in Cardiff.
The rock, it worked? Yes, you were right.
You know, as soon as the blade came in contact with the rock that was laced with the same metal Then the sword went out of phase and allowed it to pass right through solid matter.
Preventing today's pub special from being Myka meat pie.
You realize that's how King Arthur pulled the sword from the stone? Oh, nice, Artie, sure know how to take the fun out of believing in legends.
No, no, no.
Some legends can have a bit of truth to them.
So there was a real Merlin the Magician? Fiction.
Knights of the Round Table? Bedtime story.
Holy Grail? Anyway, on your way back, I want you to check something out for me in Italy.
That's not really on our way back.
Yeah, but I got a ping.
So go to Milan, call me when you land.
I've never been to Italy.
So how'd she die? Old age.
No identification.
But, we found these, inside her body.
Those look like Implants.
The old woman had silicone breast implants.
I've never seen them like this, you know, when they weren't on active duty.
Something else.
The woman was shouting something before she died.
That's Russian.
You speak Russian? Yeah.
You know, some girls played with Barbies and Got it.
Got it.
Got it.
What'd she say? Um, it means It means, "They stole me.
" I think I know how we can ID her.
All surgical implants are labeled and coded by a serial number.
So you can track them through the doctor back to the patient.
Why am I not surprised that you are the expert on breast implants? Some boys played with Barbies.
Hmm.
Now, these implants were placed in the body of Wait a minute.
That can't be right.
I don't get it.
Who is that? Anya Verdikov.
Age 19.
Anya Verdikov.
Wait, wait, you know her? Yes.
She is a Russian model in Milan for the fashion show.
Okay, well we need to meet with her right away.
She was reported missing two days ago.
You think? We have seen stranger things.
What are you saying? Either someone took the implants out of Anya Verdikov and put them in the body of this old woman.
Or this woman is the Hello? Hello.
Hey, welcome back.
What'd you bring me from Italy? You know it.
Hey, biscotti! What? Hey.
It was a long flight.
Okay, so what else did you find out about Anya Verdikov? Lots.
Found out that Anya was not the first.
Claudia, would you do the honors? Missing fashion models They vanish from different cities.
From Tokyo, Berlin, in Paris, in London.
So, since we know what to look for, it wasn't hard to find a pattern.
And after each model disappeared, in the same city they found the body of a Jane Doe.
Elderly.
Yes.
Very old Jane Doe.
And, it seemed like it was natural causes but uh-uh, I don't think so.
Yeah, an unidentified old Asian woman An Asian woman was found dead two months ago in Paris.
Hey! Same tattoo.
Same place.
Same woman.
Okay, have you ever seen an artifact that produces rapid aging in a person? I've never seen anything that causes this.
So, obviously it's not a coincidence that all these victims were models.
Right? All right, so what's the plan? Since all these attacks happened around the fashion industry, and since this week, in full swing, in Manhattan, is Fashion Week, two tickets to New York.
Nice.
Original Ray's Pizza.
The original Original Ray's Pizza, that's actually in the Warehouse.
And a funny thing about that is the mob bought the original cheese.
You can't make a decent pie Artie.
Okay, so the way to stop this is to find Anya's agent, the agent will tell you where Anya has been and hopefully also what she's been in touch with.
Okay.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Oh, hey, Artie, what aisle is Not a chance.
Forget it.
Yeah, I'll run an artifact search on the mainframe.
See what might make the beautiful people go geezer.
Thank you.
That would be very God, stop it! Something you'd like to share with the rest of the class, Miss Donovan? No.
No? That only makes me a little bit more curious.
It's Todd.
He keeps texting me.
Oh, you know texting? It's what the kids do these days, instead of going to dinosaur races.
I know what texting is, also iTunes and color television.
What is a Todd? Todd, you know, Todd.
The guy from town, from the hardware store.
Oh, God, what is with him? "Want to meet for coffee?" Give me my space! No, no! Why don't you text him back? I remember that kid.
He was inoffensive.
Strike up the band.
No, no, no, I mean, you're not a girl anymore.
What? Hmm? I just said, you know, you're a woman.
You're a woman because you're over 16.
I'm just saying he's a man Man and woman Hey.
If you've never Oh, God.
I mean, I shouldn't Pull up, pull up, pull up.
I appreciate the advice, but can we just get back to work? Hey, watch it! Best assignment ever.
Just try not to be There's no try.
Only do or do not.
Then do.
I'll try.
I have a quick meeting with Michael and after that I'm going home.
Would you ask Sutton if we can reschedule? Yes.
Oh, my Isabella Fuentes! Oh, man, I I love you.
I love your work.
Did the 2004 Swimsuit Issue, I mean, that was like your Sergeant Pepper's.
Thank you.
If you'll excuse me, I'm not feeling well.
No, no, no, look, I won't take up a whole lot of your time.
I was just curious where you stood on dating civil servants? You're scaring her.
Ask anyone who's made an enemy of me, Sutton, if they don't dearly regret that decision.
What are we, opening a Wal-Mart? Call Damian.
Have him send Romana another gift basket.
No food.
Miss Harris, I'm Myka Bering, this is Pete Lattimer, we spoke on the phone regarding Anya Verdikov.
Have you found her? I told her I'd take care of her.
Do you have any idea what happened? We were hoping you might know.
I mean, was she acting at all strangely? Well, was there anyone new that she might have come into contact with? No one.
She'd been staying away from people.
Why? Just before Milan, Anya said she was coming down with the flu.
If you'll excuse me, I'm not feeling well.
Isabella.
Pete? Isabella.
You're nothing if not persistent.
I You don't look so good.
Your pickup lines are getting worse.
I need you to come with me.
I think you might be in danger.
What are you talking about Are you okay, Isabella? I'm sorry.
I must be getting a fever.
I've just got to get out of here.
Hey.
I'm burning Ah! Pete? Pete! Pete? Pete, what's happening? Get an ambulance.
It was nothing, girls.
Just some poor old woman who took a fall.
What's the matter with you? It just happened, you know.
It was like a nightmare.
I couldn't help and I just had to stand there and watch, Artie.
Pete, there was nothing you could do.
Now listen, get me I mean, look, we've seen a lot of bad juju from these artifacts, but man, this one Get your head back in the game.
Get me a sample of her blood right away.
It could lead to whatever artifact is causing this aging thing.
Yeah.
They're keeping a lid on what happened to Isabella for us.
Are you okay? Yeah, I will be when we find this thing.
I tested her clothes and jewelry.
The artifact definitely wasn't on her.
Well, it wouldn't be.
She probably got zapped after a fashion show, like Anya and the others, but why models? What's the connection? Some hairdryer that they're all using? No.
Anya said, "They stole me," as if somebody was doing this to them on purpose.
There are hundreds of people behind the scenes at these things.
And Fashion Week ends in three days and with it goes most of our potential suspects.
All right, so we're going to have to get in on the down low, smoke out the bad guy.
Or girl.
That's easier said than done.
What? I'm just having a thought.
Well, is it a good thought? Well, I'm going to say yes, you're going to say no, but I'm right and you're wrong.
Oh, hey, Miss Harris.
Look, I think I know a way to find the person who's doing this, okay? But I'm going to need your help.
Hey, so how'd we do? You tell me.
Holy crap.
Welcome to the runway.
One day you're in, the next day Yeah, yeah, we get it.
There's backstage where the models change during the show.
I hope you don't mind taking your clothes off in public.
Let me go sell you to Damian.
I just don't understand why I had to be the model.
First of all, I don't have the legs for a dress like that.
A model and her manager won't stand out.
Oh, please, nobody's going to believe that I'm a model, Pete.
I don't know how to do this.
Just act like everyone's been put on the Earth to serve you.
That's idiotic.
Just like that.
Perfect.
No, no, no, no, no! I couldn't possibly work with a new girl.
I'm all about rapport, Sutton.
You can't have rapport with someone fresh off the farm.
She's an undiscovered treasure.
That's fine.
No one has even seen her yet.
Don't you want to be the first to bring her into the sun? Fine.
Let me see her.
I don't understand.
Is she behind the fat girl? Trust me, Damian.
For you, Sutton, darling, anything.
Myka Burton, top women's fashion designer, Damian Jardin.
I'm going to have to ask you to lay off the milkshakes, precious.
What's this? Oh, hey, I'm Pete Lawson.
I'm Myka's Personal assistant, does whatever I tell him.
Isn't that right? Yes, ma'am.
Speaking of slaves, Jenny! Yes, Damian? This one, new photos.
Andale.
Damian.
Let me see that dress.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, you are officially embedded.
Coffee? Oh, no, thanks.
I'm jittery enough as it is.
No.
I meant for me, black, no sugar.
Andale.
Go.
Hello.
I'm Gunther.
Oh, hi.
Here to take your pictures.
Ready to be beautiful? Here we go.
That's right.
Beautiful.
Give me a little smile.
There you go.
Who's that? Sutton's latest find for Damian.
Didn't we just get rid of the last latest find? What did Anya ever do to you? Just so we're clear, Damian, I burn brightest.
Little fat girls aren't going to sell your rags like I do.
Of course.
Of course.
Relax, Romana, you'll get wrinkles.
We're not getting any younger.
Why doesn't some thoughtful psychopath kill her for me? It's like a game of gay Clue.
Careful.
We don't need much for a full chemical analysis.
Can you explain to me again why I'm doing this and you're cowering I don't like blood.
You picked the wrong line of work.
You have no idea.
Really? Moving on.
Gently.
Gently.
Put the needle gently into that mass spectrometer.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Hello? God! Hey.
Let me guess.
Todd.
Okay.
Okay, bye.
Well? I took your advice.
What advice? I gave no advice.
I'm meeting Todd later, a cup of coffee, slice of pie, you know.
You have a date? No.
It's more like a, you know, pielcoffee summit.
Fix the economy, solve world peace, I could cancel.
Go.
Yeah? Go.
Okay.
Oh, Claudia? Yeah? Um, you know, be yourself.
Thanks.
Jeez! Oh! I was just looking at your photos.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I guess I've just had too much caffeine today.
Well, pretty strong for a model.
Most of these girls get winded just by pushing an elevator button.
Well, I eat food.
Gunther took these, right? Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He did.
He's got a real eye.
Just tell him to put a star filter next time.
It'll bring out your eyes more.
Oh, you're a photographer? Freelance.
You're Sutton's new girl, right? Yes.
You're a natural.
You have a gift.
I have a gift.
Hey, how many of these things can you drink, anyway? Oh, I'm not actually drinking them, I just like making you go get them.
Nice.
So what did you find? I checked a few of the dressing rooms.
Nobody's got the picture of Dorian Gray hanging up for decoration.
Well, the real one's in the Warehouse anyway.
Is that what that is? Man, I got to stop looking at that.
Pete.
Right.
I did find out that Romana hated Anya.
Really? Well, you know, it's a tough business.
Maybe she's eliminating the competition.
Why don't you go distract her so I can check her dressing room? But I don't know how to distract her.
Ask her for tips on torturing your assistant.
So, what's your favorite movie? God, I hate that.
Yeah, me, too.
I mean, there's like eight billion different movies, right? I mean, you can never pick just one, and then am I telling you my real favorite movie or just randomly picking the first movie that pops into my head? Godfather.
So what high school did you go to? What do you mean? What high school did you go to? Why all the questions about my past? It was just one question.
You made me ask it twice.
So, what can I get you guys? A BLT, please.
Okay.
I would like the chili, extra onions.
Thanks.
Guess no goodbye kiss, huh? What? The onions.
Bad breath, kissing, it's a bad joke.
Sorry.
No.
I mean, yes, I could get it to go.
No, no, no.
Eat it later.
After non-onion breath kissing.
Not that I'm expecting kissing.
Not that I was expecting kissing.
Me, neither.
Or not.
Or maybe.
I should have ordered grilled cheese.
What am I doing here? I am clearly a closed book with bad breath who's too freakish to live and I No! Oh, my God.
She wants this to go.
Hi, there.
My name's Myka, we met the other day in Sutton's office.
Tell Damian it'll do.
I was just wondering if you had any, you know, sisterly advice.
My advice? Spanx.
You know, I'm always amazed at the correlation between being beautiful, and being a complete bitch.
Being a successful model isn't about beauty and it certainly isn't about the clothes.
Well, then what's it about? When I walk down the runway, with one look, I could stop a war.
Or start one.
I make people want something that I have, because when I'm out there, I tear out my soul and I offer it for everyone to see.
You think you can do that, sister? Jenny, the schedule! Please! I'll be right there.
Booyah, Buddha.
I don't suppose you gave the same sisterly advice to Anya? Anya should have stayed in Russia and stuck with what she knew.
Borscht and bread lines.
Sounds to me like you're glad she's dead.
You're very nosy.
No.
I'm just curious about the people I work with.
Hmm.
I wonder if the next girl will ask what happened to you? It's all over, Jenny.
What are you talking about? Is that it? Oh, crap.
Jenny? Yeah.
Why are you doing it? I'm not hurting anybody.
Then you've got a pretty whacked out definition of hurt, lady.
They can afford to pay.
Is that how Anya paid? With her youth? How did you kill her, Jenny? I didn't kill Anya.
She wasn't even a customer.
A customer? Look, how is the Buddha aging the models? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Diet pills.
Diet what now? Hey, easy, that's Filled with teeny tiny pills.
You're peddling diet pills? They're the good ones.
Not legal here yet.
I get them on the black market for the You're not here about the diet pills, are you? Okay, look, here's what you're going to do.
You're going to go home, you're going to call in sick and you're going to stay there until you hear from me or you'll be explaining that little bobble-headed Buddha to the DEA.
Or I can hook you up if you let me go.
You could lose those extra five pounds by, like, tomorrow.
I don't have an extra five pounds.
Right.
Go.
Okay.
Yeah.
Myka, we're running out of time.
I know.
I couldn't believe it when you finally called.
The anticipation has been interminable.
You said you found her, the one.
Yes, she's perfect.
Oh, good, you're here.
Well, the blood sample that Pete sent over has got trace elements of silver nitrate in it, which is not commonly found in human blood.
What does that mean? I have no idea.
So How was your date? It was perfect.
Well, good.
Good.
So, as I was saying, human blood doesn't Actually, no kind of blood has silver What? What kind of advice is, "Be yourself"? Artie, that's the worst advice I've ever heard, because myself, is a giant freakazoid with no past and no real interests outside of my top secret job, which I can't talk about.
Oh, and I like onions! Hey, Myka, can I come in? Are you decent? You know what, screw it, I'm coming in.
Whoa.
Don't you dare laugh.
No, no, I'm so not laughing.
Listen, I don't want you to go out there.
I'm having some wicked bad vibes, and whatever, you know, whammy's being done to the models, maybe it's when they're walking the runway.
Okay? So it's just It's too dangerous.
Okay.
What? No fight? No argument? No punching me in my soft spots? No.
No.
I just I'm not going to go out there.
What's going on? Well, like you said.
It's dangerous.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't ever listen to me.
Okay, I can't, because I I can't stop an army and I can't, you know, show people my soul.
What are you talking about? Oh, okay, some girls took fencing lessons, right? And read books and studied and became Secret Service agents.
And that That out there, that is That is not me.
Why not? Um Because, you know, I'm not the pretty one.
Who was the pretty one? My sister.
Ah, Tracy.
Yeah, she's the cheerleader.
And the Homecoming Queen.
You know, she was the one that She was the one that all the boys were crazy about.
She could do this.
All right.
Turn around.
Why? Because if I'm going to say this to you, I can't say it with you looking at me so just turn around.
I'll turn around.
I can't say it to the back of your head either.
So, uh Myka, you are a stunningly beautiful woman.
The day that I met you, I said, "What? I'm not going to be able to work with her.
"I won't be able to stop staring at her.
" But then I got to know you and I realized that, you're even more beautiful than I could see.
And if that, you know, little teen fencer, could see what a beautiful woman that she would become, she would know that it's her sister that should be jealous.
Good to go? Oh, I am good to go.
All right, all right.
Okay.
Goodbye.
Wait a minute, I came here to talk you out of it.
Myka, come here! There you are.
Where were you? Arby's? Andale.
Get out there.
Go! Go! Okay.
You're on.
Oh, she's wearing the killer dress.
Oh, Damian, you bastard! Dress.
It's the dress.
Dress! Get your hands off me.
You switched the dresses.
Why? It's my show.
I do what I want.
Where's my whistle? Is that how you're doing it? Huh? What is it, Lizzie Borden's dress or something? I don't know what you're talking about.
You are going to tell me everything.
All right.
All right.
I gave her the killer dress.
I knew it.
Romana and I started out together.
We were friends.
Now she treats me like a minion.
Rude, dismissive, snide comments about my work.
What? Yes.
I gave my best dress to the new girl.
I hope it hurt, like you've hurt me.
I did it! I did it! You didn't even need your sword.
Not bad.
I am not fat.
Give me that on stage.
That's what I want.
So nothing but dead ends back here.
Look, there was an older woman in the crowd out there.
Rich, biggest ruby earrings I have ever seen and there's something about the way that she was looking at me.
Well, let's go have a look at her, shall we? Okay.
Oh, wait.
Just Will it hurt? Hey.
Are you okay? Pete? I'm burning up.
Oh, my God.
No.
Myka, stay with me.
No, no, no, stay with me, Myka! No.
Myka, stay with me.
Stay with me, Myka.
Myka! It was worth every penny.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, hey.
It's still me, Claud.
Are you in pain? Other than a sudden desire to hit the early bird special, I'm fine.
What are we going to do? How is she? She doesn't have much time.
Isabella died about an hour ago.
From old age, Artie.
She was 22.
What do you need to undo this? A sample of Myka's blood would be What else? Silver nitrate.
It's in Myka's blood, too.
Exactly the same as Isabella's.
Silver nitrate? I know it's a compound that was used as a disinfectant before the development of antibiotics.
Wait, wait, wait, it was also used to manufacture photographic film.
Hey, hey, I was doing something.
Yeah, Gus used to say, Gus was a former Warehouse agent, and he used to say, that there was a camera that belonged to There! Man Ray.
I'm on it.
Give me an address.
He's dead.
He's dead.
What? Yeah.
He was a photographer in the 1930s.
Guy shot some wicked cool pics.
Contemporary of Salvador Dali, except that Ray was into photographic surrealism, and Gus used to say that one of Ray's last cameras had artifact properties.
It's just We never found it.
Oh, so then it's got to be one of the photographers.
Which brings us back to what Claudia was doing before Artie so rudely took her computer.
I hacked into the fashion show's security cameras.
Now let me just get a good angle.
There.
That guy.
Check the camera.
Not exactly state Right.
Now, look, as soon as he takes Myka's picture, he walks.
It's him.
Can I interest you in changing your long distance carrier? No, thanks.
Can I interest you in staying alive? Huh? Where is it? I don't know what you're talking about.
I said, where is it? Claudia, Man Ray's.
Jackpot.
And that is not all.
Hey, hey, hey, Myka said there was an old lady, giving her the stink eye and she had on huge ruby earrings.
This camera doesn't just steal people's youth, it transfers it to another person.
You've been peddling a second chance at life.
How does the camera work, huh? How does the camera work? Pete, lay off, we might need this guy.
All right.
You double expose a younger photograph over someone old.
The process is almost instantaneous.
Myka and the others didn't change right away.
No, no, that would be a little too public, wouldn't it? What you did is you figured out how to do it later.
Something to do with the development process, right? Did you hear the question? Do you doubt that my friend wants to beat you to death? It works retroactively if I wait and use the developer.
The silver nitrate.
Right? The silver nitrate.
But why models? I mean, why not just snap pictures of anonymous young people? You ever heard the expression "make love to the camera"? A model has a gift.
She bears her soul, opens up.
And Manny's camera captures it, reacts to it.
How do we turn Myka back? Look out! Artie? They told me what happened.
You, young man, have to stop playing with fire.
Yeah.
Close call.
I didn't need the Phoenix this time.
I remembered to duck.
Mmm! Doctors say you're doing great.
Liar.
How are you? I just wish I could see my mom and dad.
They could never cope with this.
Artie, I just want to tell you that I know I've been hard on you sometimes Don't.
Okay? Don't start that.
I'm not giving up on you.
Don't you give up.
All right, listen, we have to find this ruby earring woman.
We have to take a new photograph of her young and superimpose it, on a photograph of old Myka.
It might switch her back? Well, I'm in his bank account.
He hasn't touched anything since the last deposit, but Something? Well, he's got a serious crush on someone.
He's had flowers delivered from the same shop three times this week.
Does it say to who? Well, no, this just lists his transactions.
Romana.
What? Romana had flowers delivered to her and she wasn't very happy with whoever sent them.
I'm on it.
I'm on it.
See? Even at 90, you are a crack agent.
Pete, wait.
What if you find him and he doesn't tell you who he sold Myka's youth to? Do we find someone else? Take someone else's youth? I mean, someone bad? He'll tell me.
Go! Consider me an ex-fan of Man Ray.
Manny's.
What? Perry didn't say, "Man Ray's camera.
" He said, "Manny's.
" So? Romana? Oh, Perry, you scared me half to death.
I don't have much time.
I need you to listen to me.
What do you want? I think you know.
We've been through this.
You and I, we're never going to happen.
That's right.
I'm not your type, am I? Rich and powerful.
Well, guess what, I'm both now.
What is that supposed to mean? I never used the camera for financial gain.
What camera? Until I met you.
You know what? I have to go.
I'm finally wealthy enough now to have the most beautiful woman in the world.
You'll never have that much money.
Don't you understand? Everything I did was for you, for us, to be together.
Just let go of me.
Let go of me.
Hey! You've had Man Ray's camera for a long time, haven't you? In fact, you actually knew Manny.
I modeled for him when I was 22 years old.
He gave me that camera.
I kept it all these years.
And that's how you discovered its restorative properties, hmm? And the first person that turned young was you.
I look pretty good for 98.
And how many innocent lives did your vitality cost? I would imagine you double exposed my image with your friend's.
You've been young long enough.
Back again.
Oh.
Are you okay? Well, yeah, thanks to you guys.
Well, you know, it's in my contract.
If my partner turns into a senior citizen, and I don't do anything about it, I lose like six vacation days.
Yeah.
I didn't really.
It was all about the vacation.
Yeah.
I'm so glad to see you looking like the old you.
I mean, the young, old you, not the old, old you.
Come on, gramps, you're having one of your mini strokes again.
You are aware that I'm your boss, right? Yeah.
Yes, crabby.
Come on.
Um, Pete.
Yes? You know, I just want to say thank you.
Well, you're welcome.
Not, not, not, not for For what you said before the show.
Right.
We don't ever have to mention that again.
Right.
Remember you said that I La, la, la.
Can't hear.
But I I think that we should I think that I would really Okay.
No cream.
Why are we doing this? You don't see enough of me? Sit down.
I owe you an apology.
You owe me lots of apologies.
Which one's nagging at you right now? The one about Todd.
Not a big deal.
It doesn't matter.
Oh, yeah, it is.
It does matter, because he's really a good kid and I should be able to help.
You didn't make me a train wreck.
You are not a train wreck, Claudia.
I just sometimes forget that underneath the talented computer programmer and fearless junior Warehouse agent, there beats the heart of a teenage girl who deserves, well, someone better than me for a Father figure.
Oh! Oh, my God.
You're not doing so bad.
Well, I I could do a little better.
I'll do Yeah, I could do better.
Sometimes you are so cute.
Don't do that.
I hate that word.
Don't use that word, "Cute.
" I'm not cute.
Well, I am relieved.
When you said, "Meet me at the diner," I thought you'd arranged some lame meet with me and Todd.
Uh Todd.
What a remarkable coincidence.
Hey.
Hey.
I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I really like chili.
Artie, get out.
Yeah, leaving.