Welcome to Wrexham (2022) s02e04 Episode Script
Shaun's Vacation
1
[birds chirping]
SHAUN:
Thank you.
EMPLOYEE:
No worries.
Have a good day.
SHAUN: Every test
that my wife and I did
and every question
that we asked,
what Wrexham's like,
met the criteria of a of a
Of a town with
a working-class background
and, you know,
wanting to improve
Wanting to improve itself.
And every every
Every transaction I've had,
every discussion I've had
has only
Has only strengthened that view.
[soft music]
So we have
This is the Racecourse Ground.
♪
NICOLA: When we met,
he was the club secretary
for Scarborough Football Club.
And, um, we met I actually
interviewed him for a mortgage.
[indistinct chatter]
And my boss declined
his mortgage
because football was not
a stable industry.
[laughs]
♪
So obviously, Shaun being Shaun,
wouldn't accept that.
And, uh, he fought
for his mortgage.
And, um, he took the girl out.
Always falls on his feet,
this boy.
Always falls on his feet.
Doing good things.
NICOLA:
Shaun works and then works
and then works again, basically.
That is what he does.
He is probably
the most hardworking person
I've ever met.
SHAUN:
Look at this.
NICOLA:
He's so knowledgeable.
He's always three steps ahead
of everybody else.
PERSON: Who was your best
helper today, Chal?
Uh, Shaun.
NICOLA:
He will answer emails
from getting up first thing
in the morning,
and obviously,
with the time difference
for Rob and Ryan,
uh, quiet often in the night.
You're setting this club up
to give it
the absolute best chance
of promotion.
Then at the end of the day
as well,
when America's waking up,
quite often we find
that we're doing
calls and Zooms
way into the evening as well.
Nic all right, kids all right?
Yeah. Oh, great, yeah.
I just don't see so much of 'em.
[laughter]
And this really start
[chuckles]
Started as a temporary gig
for him.
Oh, he was supposed
to do this for six weeks
RYAN: Yeah.
ROB: Maybe at the most.
And then it was like, well,
I'll do it for six months,
and then we'll see
where we're at.
And now he realizes,
it's a full-time,
- lifetime position, I hope.
- Yeah.
No, I hope so too.
Effectively,
what you're doing is,
you're just showing
the complete flexibility
that we have to be able
to accommodate
anything and everything.
I don't know where
we would be without him.
I don't know where we'd be
without him as well.
Shaun is, uh, one of one.
SINGER: Don't forget
where you came from ♪
Don't forget what
you're made of ♪
The ones who were there ♪
When no one else would care ♪
Don't be afraid to cry now ♪
Even when the world
comes crashing in ♪
♪
Don't forget to sing
when you win ♪
♪
Don't forget to sing
when you win ♪
[bright music]
♪
HUMPHREY:
So at the end of last season,
I think it was around June, uh,
Shaun let the club know
that he was planning
to go on holiday
for the first time
in a long time.
He and Nicola had identified
the week of October the 21st
for that trip.
It was very important
to Rob and Ryan and me
that we really kind of protect
that week for Shaun and Nicola.
We're back here
with Ryan Reynolds
and the other guy.
Come on.
Where?
Wait, want me to go up here?
There you go.
Yeah, that's good.
HUMPHREY: Everybody knows
when it comes to Wrexham,
Rob and Ryan are very much
joined at the hip,
bit of a double act.
And similarly,
so are Shaun and I.
Shaun is doing
many of the things
that I am not capable of doing.
Is that a fair assessment?
Fair? It's fair,
but everything's teamwork,
as we know.
HUMPHREY: Yes.
Um, you know, I'm not a huge fan
of the good cop/bad cop analogy
that sometimes gets
thrown around.
I think it's closer
to really Shaun is like
the Hand of the King
from Game of Thrones.
You know, he's the
[sucks teeth]
The secret power
behind the throne.
Yes, I know
Varys was never technically
Hand of the Throne,
all you Game of Thrones nerds,
but he does look
like Shaun Harvey,
so just deal with it.
But, uh, with him going away,
you know, that means
I have to be the Hand.
In what was quite
a Game of Thrones-y development,
the day Shaun left
for his holiday,
Rob got in touch with me
and announced he was arriving,
without having told Ryan
or Shaun
for some strategic reason
or something
I had yet to ascertain.
By the way, that is difficult.
You know when you've got
a toddler, and
And they're sort of desperate
for an ice cream,
there's, like, a busy road
in front of them.
Sometimes you've just gotta,
like, steer them
towards the pedestrian crossing.
[indistinct chatter]
Rob revealed that he had come
to the Racecourse
to help stage a
A humorous prank
for the benefit
of Ryan's birthday,
which was coming up
in a few days' time,
uh, that involved a blimp
that was gonna fly
over the Racecourse
with a very unflattering
picture of Ryan on it.
[sighs]
And just as a reminder,
last year
Today we celebrate
Mr. Co-Chairman,
Robert Lucinda McElhenney,
with this memorial urinal.
HUMPHREY: Ryan surprised Rob
on his birthday,
commissioning a urinal
with a fancy plaque
etched with Rob's face.
And yes, I recognize
this is all fun stuff
that generates more exposure
for the club,
but I think I don't like pranks.
That's always been
a big thing for me.
I'm not a big I'm not
a big prank war person.
- Here's the blimp.
- Here's the
Here here is the blimp.
Cannot be denied,
this is the blimp.
This is yeah.
HUMPHREY: Yes.
It's very convincing, isn't it?
[laughter]
PERSON: Oh, that's so terrible.
[cell phone buzzes]
HUMPHREY:
Meanwhile, on my phone
What would you do here?
I've got one co-owner sneaking
behind the back of the other one
and the other one asking
about it.
[dramatic music]
Also, reminder,
I am a working actor,
and while I have already
been in an episode
of It's Always Sunny
in Philadelphia,
I've never actually been
in a Deadpool movie, so
So I did the only logical thing.
♪
Yep, I am comfortable
with the word "hero."
[playful music]
ROB: To celebrate
my cochairman's birthday,
may I humbly present to you
the Ryan Rodney Reynolds
memorial blimp.
♪
A hideous but surprisingly
inexpensive way
for the world to finally see
Ryan Reynolds
as he's meant to be seen.
And so we christen
this flying Ryan face
for the world to see.
So I don't I don't think
it's gonna break.
Ah, fuck it.
[laughter]
HUMPHREY: Um, now,
all of these glorious ideas
had been, uh,
formulated and plotted out
and planned
and put into practice
without consulting me,
without working out
whether or not
we were allowed to do this,
what the local
Welsh aviation laws,
uh, involved in regards
to blimp flying.
And to make matters even more
uncomfortable for me,
I'm having to run cover for Rob,
as our other cochairman is
very curious
why Rob may or may not
be in town.
I'll tell you what do you know
what I I really think?
I'm looking forward to everyone
getting off our grass.
I've always said
Listen, I'm all for
I'm I am down for fun.
I'm a fun guy.
But I'm very protective of
Of the club.
So I took command
of the situation,
and I immediately called Shaun.
Uh, and then over there
is the blimp.
Do you see the
They can't see you.
Only only I can see you.
Don't you worry.
[seagulls squawking]
Um, and there's the blimp
with Ryan's face on it.
[dramatic music]
NICOLA:
We were in Tenerife,
having a holiday away
the two of us.
Um, it's normal.
Everything starts quite well,
um, until we had
a little bit of a drama.
ROB:
Fly high, my friend.
You're free now.
[bright Latin music]
Happy birthday, Ryan!
♪
NICOLA: You can usually tell
how extensive the drama is
depending on how far
around the pool he walks.
It was quite small, so he did
a lot of laps of that pool.
[laughing]
HUMPHREY: Unfortunately, my
biggest fears were confirmed.
There were several
Welsh aviation laws
we might have been breaking
and the possibility
there could be fines
and/or arrests.
♪
And I've been lying to Ryan.
As a reminder,
as far as their holiday goes,
this is day one.
[clicking]
[bright piano music]
MARK GRIFFITHS:
Big challenge this weekend
versus Boreham Wood,
who fancy themselves as
challengers for the league.
We need to get some momentum
going today, don't we?
ANNOUNCER 2:
We certainly do, and again,
this is gonna be
a really tough task here
for the for Wrexham.
Hi.
PERSON: Hey.
ANNOUNCER 2:
We're at a stage
where we're still warming up,
so I think they're gonna
give us a bit of a test.
[indistinct chatter]
HUMPHREY: Rob is in town,
but actually the team isn't.
We're away at Boreham Wood.
Boreham Wood is a big game
because they are one
of our potential rivals
for the championship,
along with Notts County
and Chesterfield.
So there's a lot of attention
on this game.
GRIFFITHS:
It's certainly a test
that I think we need to approach
in a more positive,
front foot manner
than we did in the previous
away big games.
[whistle blasts]
But here we go.
Wrexham knock it back to
[indistinct chatter]
I wish we could get it
up on the TV.
HUMPHREY: Which brings us
to the thorny issue
of Article 48.
[soft orchestral music]
Article 48 is the law
that states
that you can't broadcast
3:00 p.m. Saturday kickoffs
in the UK.
This was to protect
the live crowd scene,
the idea being,
if it was on telly,
people maybe wouldn't
bother to go
to the stadium to watch it.
ROB: Uh, h-hold on.
I I have to jump in here
real quick just
to make things 100% clear
for any of the American
fans out there.
["Star-Spangled Banner"]
That's right.
You can't watch
the games on TV
[buzzer blares]
Anywhere
["God Save the King"]
But especially not in the UK,
even if it's a sellout.
[buzzer blares]
That's right.
And for all the European fans
watching out there
["Yankee Doodle"]
I'm sure I sound
like a typical American asshole,
but don't you want
to watch the games?
I mean, come on.
You wanna watch the games.
Right?
[eagle screeches]
We've done a deep dive
into Article 48,
and there there is a way
to protect the integrity
of the sport
while also being able
to watch the
You know, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
That's a whole other episode.
We were talking about Shaun.
Let's get back to Shaun.
HUMPHREY: Every game
the club plays is filmed,
um, but that feed
of that game is made available
to the club for club usage,
and Rob and Ryan have access
to that feed.
So that's how they would
often watch games
when back in the United States.
Now, Rob got very excited
at the prospect
of streaming this game
in the Turf.
And Wrexham being
a small town, word got around.
And before you knew it,
uh, everybody in the town knew.
All of a sudden, my
My phone starts beeping
and then lighting up
like a Christmas tree.
[notifications chiming]
Ultimately, a case of,
oh, no, what's happened now?
PRODUCER:
So what was your reaction
to the second time
Shaun got called?
[tense music]
NICOLA:
I don't think I knew
how much the work would
take over, in all honesty.
I wonder when Mendy's
coming back.
Well, actually,
what Rob wanted to do was akin
to sticking two fingers up
at the authorities
and something that I couldn't
allow to happen.
ROB: Oh, oh.
I gotta jump in again.
That's not what I was
trying to do.
I I don't even know
what that means.
What does this mean?
ALL:
Fuck off.
It's "fuck off"? Why?
See?
I I wasn't trying to create
an international
broadcasting uproar.
I I just wanted
to watch the game.
I just I didn't think
it was a very big deal.
And then Shaun called me
and said
And I said, I don't know,
I don't think it'll get out.
I don't is it really
that big of a deal?
And he said
And so now I'm actually scared
because Shaun is scary.
I mean, look at him.
Okay, so we didn't get
to watch the game
and instead listened to it
on the radio,
which I have to admit
is kind of fun,
'cause it makes it feel like
it's 1947 or something,
but either way,
I missed the lone goal
because I was in the bathroom.
[people cheering]
Article 48 says
that it's not gonna happen.
HUMPHREY: Anyway, yeah,
cooler heads prevailed,
and Rob and the Turf ended up
listening to the match,
which I was delighted about.
GRIFFITHS:
And that is the final whistle.
Wow.
Wrexham, I think,
will have grounds
to feel really disappointed
that they didn't get
the 3 points.
HUMPHREY: Incidentally,
we drew against Boreham Wood,
1-1, which means that we, uh,
still haven't beaten
any of our closest competitors
yet this season,
which is far from ideal.
We lost Chesterfield,
lost Notts.
We we drew today.
HUMPHREY: So to recap, Shaun
has been gone for two days,
and so far there's been
a healthy dose of lies
and subterfuge from at least
one of our owners
and very nearly violations
of both Welsh aviation law
and international
blackout regulations.
And worst of all,
two phone calls to Shaun
on his sacrosanct holiday.
And, uh, we haven't even gotten
to the bad part yet.
[clicking]
[dramatic music]
The surprise
on Ryan's birthday was a blimp,
which for UK viewers, is just
a stupid fucking balloon.
You know, Rob thinks
he's very funny,
and and, you know,
usually he is, by and large,
but I think, um, by this stage
of having two days of dealing
with his shenanigans,
my sense of humor was
at an all-time low.
Um, but on the plus side,
you know,
Shaun's third day
of his vacation was
Was pretty quiet.
And that is where things
took a turn again.
[clicking]
Should footballers be able
to put political messages
on their boots?
Okay, so football club Wrexham,
owned by, uh, Ryan Reynolds
and some other guy,
uh, banned striker Paul Mullin
from wearing boots emblazoned
with a political message.
I think we've got the image.
REPORTER 2: Mm.
REPORTER 1:
Uh, he said, "Eff the Tories."
Paul, uh, unfortunately,
you know, on his boots,
it had, uh, "Fuck the Tories."
And you can't say
"Fuck the Tories,"
'cause the phrase
"Fuck the Tories" is a very,
uh, explosive phrase, because
Before we get into all that,
I should probably just
give you a quick primer
on British politics.
UK politics is dominated
by two parties.
You have the Conservative Party,
who are on the right
of the political spectrum,
and you have the Labour Party,
who are on the left.
The UK government is
the Conservative Party,
also known as the Tories.
Our local MP is a Tory,
but most of our fans are
probably Labour voters.
So Paul Mullin, who's very much
a Labour supporter,
decides to post a picture
of his new boots to Instagram,
and, you know, a very innocuous
picture of his boots.
Uh, but if you were
to swipe to the right
Yes.
SHAUN: The picture was taken
actually at the football club,
which could suggest
that it was club-endorsed,
when of course,
we had absolutely no idea.
REPORTER 1: Okay, so football
club Wrexham, owned by
HUMPHREY:
So this time, I don't think
anybody had to call Shaun.
He called me.
Paul Mullin from wearing
HUMPHREY: I know from talking
to Nicola that
she, you know, woke up
and rolled over in bed
at about 6:00 in the morning
in, you know,
the lovely Mediterranean,
sunlight falling on her face,
to find an empty bed
with Shaun out on the balcony
talking to people from,
you know, the UK government,
Welsh government,
the local council,
trying to put out fires
left, right, and center.
I obviously posted
the photo onto social media
and received a call
from the club quite quick,
to be fair to them,
just saying all, like,
the Wrexham, like, things
in the background is, like
I was like, oh,
I didn't realize.
Obviously it's not
representative of Wrexham.
It's totally me and my opinion.
So I removed the photo
and just put another one up.
I woke up the next day,
it blew up,
and next minute, I
I couldn't put the telly on
without it being
on every channel.
Is that not technically
a uniform?
So the club gets to pick
REPORTER 2: Yes, exactly.
Yeah, you just wear a uniform.
It was cute.
He's adorable.
But he's behaving like a child,
and you just can't.
It's born partly from his,
uh, Liverpudlian roots.
[crowd singing]
GRIFFITHS:
It's a chant that's been sung
at a lot of Liverpool games.
I think it's a special thing
to be from Liverpool,
and it means a lot to
To the people of Liverpool.
They're really proud of it.
The best city in England.
Well, we don't want to be
a part of England, but
SHAUN:
Paul is more than entitled
to his own political views.
What we can't allow to happen
is for those political views
to be delivered
using the club's platform.
So I was hoping I can just quell
this little fire that's burning.
All of a sudden,
Ryan liked the picture.
[dramatic music]
[splutters]
I gave it a like on Instagram.
I didn't know that that would
cause a ripple effect.
- Um
- It did.
HUMPHREY: Do you know
what an Instagram carousel is?
Uh, it's all right if you don't.
But you would expect
someone like Ryan Reynolds,
with his hundred million
Instagram followers,
would know exactly what one was.
SHAUN:
Now I need a fire engine
to put an inferno out.
HUMPHREY:
So Shaun left on Friday.
It's now Monday, and he's
threatening to come home.
HUMPHREY: So things were
looking pretty bleak
for Shaun's vacation.
I've not really been killing it
in my time as the Hand.
But the most critical thing was
making a statement.
HUMPHREY: "The photographs
taken at the Racecourse Ground
"were done so without
our knowledge or approval.
"The club also acknowledge
"that everyone is entitled
to their own opinion,
whether that be employees
or supporters."
So the statement went down
okay-ish, I guess.
I mean, as well as statements
like that can go down.
The Tories felt like
we hadn't gone far enough.
Our left-leaning
fan base decided
that we'd hung Paul out to dry.
So of course, it's at this point
that Shaun calls and says
he's cutting his holiday short
and he's coming home
the next day.
This is sort of our
"all is lost" moment really.
Rob and Ryan had, characteristically,
been causing chaos.
But worse, we had a political
firestorm to deal with,
and you know,
Shaun was having to cut short
his first holiday
in God knows how long.
So that's when I decided
to channel my inner Varys.
I knew if I was gonna
prevail upon Shaun
not to return to Wrexham,
there was no point
in contacting him directly
Or even to go to the "king."
You know, if you want something
from the king,
you start with the queen.
But when approaching the queen,
you must approach indirectly
and delicately.
[dramatic music]
♪
But it takes a deft hand
to lead the queen to water.
I told him what a shame
it would be if Shaun was
to spoil his holiday,
and, you know,
he being ever the superhero,
got in touch with Rob,
who called Shaun and demanded
he stay in Tenerife.
So the system works.
[clicking]
[upbeat Latin music]
♪
And now, to cap it all off,
at the game on Tuesday night,
we're losing 1-0,
and it's raining.
But Rob is nothing
if not confident,
and he made a prediction.
HUMPHREY:
We all know that the club
getting promotion this season
is the true focus.
ANNOUNCER:
Drop to the shoulder.
Trying to keep it
away from Spence.
[crowd roaring]
Paul stops the ball.
Gets his head up,
gets the crossing.
[indistinct shouting]
Goal!
[crowd cheering]
HUMPHREY: In football,
wins are a wonderful thing
because they help
to wipe the slate clean
the previous week,
change the agenda,
change the topic
of conversation.
ANNOUNCER:
Davies to Palmer.
Palmer holds the ball up well.
Here's Davies.
Davies!
[crowd roars]
HUMPHREY: So after a week
of trials and tribulations,
it was nice to get back
to doing what we do best,
which is winning
football matches.
ANNOUNCER:
Young. Good cross Hayden!
[crowd roaring]
HUMPHREY: So now Rob thinks
he's prescient
or m-magic or something.
I don't know.
I mean, I guess
Game of Thrones had magic in it.
You know, he's he's Bran,
the little boy,
on the back of Hodor.
He he can see into
the future apparently.
The other cochairman got
to convince himself
that he'd saved Shaun's holiday,
so that was nice for him.
And you know, ultimately,
Shaun did have
his holiday saved.
And so that was also
a nice thing.
And was I responsible
for those things?
I mean
[laughs]
That's not for me to say.
That's for you to decide.
But I will say,
I'm quite glad to go back
to just being Shaun's sidekick.
It's it's a lot less stressful.
[Lindsey Buckingham's
"Holiday Road"]
♪
LINDSEY:
I found out long ago ♪
It's a long way down
the holiday road ♪
Holiday road ♪
♪
[child giggles, seagull cries]
oakislandtk
[birds chirping]
SHAUN:
Thank you.
EMPLOYEE:
No worries.
Have a good day.
SHAUN: Every test
that my wife and I did
and every question
that we asked,
what Wrexham's like,
met the criteria of a of a
Of a town with
a working-class background
and, you know,
wanting to improve
Wanting to improve itself.
And every every
Every transaction I've had,
every discussion I've had
has only
Has only strengthened that view.
[soft music]
So we have
This is the Racecourse Ground.
♪
NICOLA: When we met,
he was the club secretary
for Scarborough Football Club.
And, um, we met I actually
interviewed him for a mortgage.
[indistinct chatter]
And my boss declined
his mortgage
because football was not
a stable industry.
[laughs]
♪
So obviously, Shaun being Shaun,
wouldn't accept that.
And, uh, he fought
for his mortgage.
And, um, he took the girl out.
Always falls on his feet,
this boy.
Always falls on his feet.
Doing good things.
NICOLA:
Shaun works and then works
and then works again, basically.
That is what he does.
He is probably
the most hardworking person
I've ever met.
SHAUN:
Look at this.
NICOLA:
He's so knowledgeable.
He's always three steps ahead
of everybody else.
PERSON: Who was your best
helper today, Chal?
Uh, Shaun.
NICOLA:
He will answer emails
from getting up first thing
in the morning,
and obviously,
with the time difference
for Rob and Ryan,
uh, quiet often in the night.
You're setting this club up
to give it
the absolute best chance
of promotion.
Then at the end of the day
as well,
when America's waking up,
quite often we find
that we're doing
calls and Zooms
way into the evening as well.
Nic all right, kids all right?
Yeah. Oh, great, yeah.
I just don't see so much of 'em.
[laughter]
And this really start
[chuckles]
Started as a temporary gig
for him.
Oh, he was supposed
to do this for six weeks
RYAN: Yeah.
ROB: Maybe at the most.
And then it was like, well,
I'll do it for six months,
and then we'll see
where we're at.
And now he realizes,
it's a full-time,
- lifetime position, I hope.
- Yeah.
No, I hope so too.
Effectively,
what you're doing is,
you're just showing
the complete flexibility
that we have to be able
to accommodate
anything and everything.
I don't know where
we would be without him.
I don't know where we'd be
without him as well.
Shaun is, uh, one of one.
SINGER: Don't forget
where you came from ♪
Don't forget what
you're made of ♪
The ones who were there ♪
When no one else would care ♪
Don't be afraid to cry now ♪
Even when the world
comes crashing in ♪
♪
Don't forget to sing
when you win ♪
♪
Don't forget to sing
when you win ♪
[bright music]
♪
HUMPHREY:
So at the end of last season,
I think it was around June, uh,
Shaun let the club know
that he was planning
to go on holiday
for the first time
in a long time.
He and Nicola had identified
the week of October the 21st
for that trip.
It was very important
to Rob and Ryan and me
that we really kind of protect
that week for Shaun and Nicola.
We're back here
with Ryan Reynolds
and the other guy.
Come on.
Where?
Wait, want me to go up here?
There you go.
Yeah, that's good.
HUMPHREY: Everybody knows
when it comes to Wrexham,
Rob and Ryan are very much
joined at the hip,
bit of a double act.
And similarly,
so are Shaun and I.
Shaun is doing
many of the things
that I am not capable of doing.
Is that a fair assessment?
Fair? It's fair,
but everything's teamwork,
as we know.
HUMPHREY: Yes.
Um, you know, I'm not a huge fan
of the good cop/bad cop analogy
that sometimes gets
thrown around.
I think it's closer
to really Shaun is like
the Hand of the King
from Game of Thrones.
You know, he's the
[sucks teeth]
The secret power
behind the throne.
Yes, I know
Varys was never technically
Hand of the Throne,
all you Game of Thrones nerds,
but he does look
like Shaun Harvey,
so just deal with it.
But, uh, with him going away,
you know, that means
I have to be the Hand.
In what was quite
a Game of Thrones-y development,
the day Shaun left
for his holiday,
Rob got in touch with me
and announced he was arriving,
without having told Ryan
or Shaun
for some strategic reason
or something
I had yet to ascertain.
By the way, that is difficult.
You know when you've got
a toddler, and
And they're sort of desperate
for an ice cream,
there's, like, a busy road
in front of them.
Sometimes you've just gotta,
like, steer them
towards the pedestrian crossing.
[indistinct chatter]
Rob revealed that he had come
to the Racecourse
to help stage a
A humorous prank
for the benefit
of Ryan's birthday,
which was coming up
in a few days' time,
uh, that involved a blimp
that was gonna fly
over the Racecourse
with a very unflattering
picture of Ryan on it.
[sighs]
And just as a reminder,
last year
Today we celebrate
Mr. Co-Chairman,
Robert Lucinda McElhenney,
with this memorial urinal.
HUMPHREY: Ryan surprised Rob
on his birthday,
commissioning a urinal
with a fancy plaque
etched with Rob's face.
And yes, I recognize
this is all fun stuff
that generates more exposure
for the club,
but I think I don't like pranks.
That's always been
a big thing for me.
I'm not a big I'm not
a big prank war person.
- Here's the blimp.
- Here's the
Here here is the blimp.
Cannot be denied,
this is the blimp.
This is yeah.
HUMPHREY: Yes.
It's very convincing, isn't it?
[laughter]
PERSON: Oh, that's so terrible.
[cell phone buzzes]
HUMPHREY:
Meanwhile, on my phone
What would you do here?
I've got one co-owner sneaking
behind the back of the other one
and the other one asking
about it.
[dramatic music]
Also, reminder,
I am a working actor,
and while I have already
been in an episode
of It's Always Sunny
in Philadelphia,
I've never actually been
in a Deadpool movie, so
So I did the only logical thing.
♪
Yep, I am comfortable
with the word "hero."
[playful music]
ROB: To celebrate
my cochairman's birthday,
may I humbly present to you
the Ryan Rodney Reynolds
memorial blimp.
♪
A hideous but surprisingly
inexpensive way
for the world to finally see
Ryan Reynolds
as he's meant to be seen.
And so we christen
this flying Ryan face
for the world to see.
So I don't I don't think
it's gonna break.
Ah, fuck it.
[laughter]
HUMPHREY: Um, now,
all of these glorious ideas
had been, uh,
formulated and plotted out
and planned
and put into practice
without consulting me,
without working out
whether or not
we were allowed to do this,
what the local
Welsh aviation laws,
uh, involved in regards
to blimp flying.
And to make matters even more
uncomfortable for me,
I'm having to run cover for Rob,
as our other cochairman is
very curious
why Rob may or may not
be in town.
I'll tell you what do you know
what I I really think?
I'm looking forward to everyone
getting off our grass.
I've always said
Listen, I'm all for
I'm I am down for fun.
I'm a fun guy.
But I'm very protective of
Of the club.
So I took command
of the situation,
and I immediately called Shaun.
Uh, and then over there
is the blimp.
Do you see the
They can't see you.
Only only I can see you.
Don't you worry.
[seagulls squawking]
Um, and there's the blimp
with Ryan's face on it.
[dramatic music]
NICOLA:
We were in Tenerife,
having a holiday away
the two of us.
Um, it's normal.
Everything starts quite well,
um, until we had
a little bit of a drama.
ROB:
Fly high, my friend.
You're free now.
[bright Latin music]
Happy birthday, Ryan!
♪
NICOLA: You can usually tell
how extensive the drama is
depending on how far
around the pool he walks.
It was quite small, so he did
a lot of laps of that pool.
[laughing]
HUMPHREY: Unfortunately, my
biggest fears were confirmed.
There were several
Welsh aviation laws
we might have been breaking
and the possibility
there could be fines
and/or arrests.
♪
And I've been lying to Ryan.
As a reminder,
as far as their holiday goes,
this is day one.
[clicking]
[bright piano music]
MARK GRIFFITHS:
Big challenge this weekend
versus Boreham Wood,
who fancy themselves as
challengers for the league.
We need to get some momentum
going today, don't we?
ANNOUNCER 2:
We certainly do, and again,
this is gonna be
a really tough task here
for the for Wrexham.
Hi.
PERSON: Hey.
ANNOUNCER 2:
We're at a stage
where we're still warming up,
so I think they're gonna
give us a bit of a test.
[indistinct chatter]
HUMPHREY: Rob is in town,
but actually the team isn't.
We're away at Boreham Wood.
Boreham Wood is a big game
because they are one
of our potential rivals
for the championship,
along with Notts County
and Chesterfield.
So there's a lot of attention
on this game.
GRIFFITHS:
It's certainly a test
that I think we need to approach
in a more positive,
front foot manner
than we did in the previous
away big games.
[whistle blasts]
But here we go.
Wrexham knock it back to
[indistinct chatter]
I wish we could get it
up on the TV.
HUMPHREY: Which brings us
to the thorny issue
of Article 48.
[soft orchestral music]
Article 48 is the law
that states
that you can't broadcast
3:00 p.m. Saturday kickoffs
in the UK.
This was to protect
the live crowd scene,
the idea being,
if it was on telly,
people maybe wouldn't
bother to go
to the stadium to watch it.
ROB: Uh, h-hold on.
I I have to jump in here
real quick just
to make things 100% clear
for any of the American
fans out there.
["Star-Spangled Banner"]
That's right.
You can't watch
the games on TV
[buzzer blares]
Anywhere
["God Save the King"]
But especially not in the UK,
even if it's a sellout.
[buzzer blares]
That's right.
And for all the European fans
watching out there
["Yankee Doodle"]
I'm sure I sound
like a typical American asshole,
but don't you want
to watch the games?
I mean, come on.
You wanna watch the games.
Right?
[eagle screeches]
We've done a deep dive
into Article 48,
and there there is a way
to protect the integrity
of the sport
while also being able
to watch the
You know, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
That's a whole other episode.
We were talking about Shaun.
Let's get back to Shaun.
HUMPHREY: Every game
the club plays is filmed,
um, but that feed
of that game is made available
to the club for club usage,
and Rob and Ryan have access
to that feed.
So that's how they would
often watch games
when back in the United States.
Now, Rob got very excited
at the prospect
of streaming this game
in the Turf.
And Wrexham being
a small town, word got around.
And before you knew it,
uh, everybody in the town knew.
All of a sudden, my
My phone starts beeping
and then lighting up
like a Christmas tree.
[notifications chiming]
Ultimately, a case of,
oh, no, what's happened now?
PRODUCER:
So what was your reaction
to the second time
Shaun got called?
[tense music]
NICOLA:
I don't think I knew
how much the work would
take over, in all honesty.
I wonder when Mendy's
coming back.
Well, actually,
what Rob wanted to do was akin
to sticking two fingers up
at the authorities
and something that I couldn't
allow to happen.
ROB: Oh, oh.
I gotta jump in again.
That's not what I was
trying to do.
I I don't even know
what that means.
What does this mean?
ALL:
Fuck off.
It's "fuck off"? Why?
See?
I I wasn't trying to create
an international
broadcasting uproar.
I I just wanted
to watch the game.
I just I didn't think
it was a very big deal.
And then Shaun called me
and said
And I said, I don't know,
I don't think it'll get out.
I don't is it really
that big of a deal?
And he said
And so now I'm actually scared
because Shaun is scary.
I mean, look at him.
Okay, so we didn't get
to watch the game
and instead listened to it
on the radio,
which I have to admit
is kind of fun,
'cause it makes it feel like
it's 1947 or something,
but either way,
I missed the lone goal
because I was in the bathroom.
[people cheering]
Article 48 says
that it's not gonna happen.
HUMPHREY: Anyway, yeah,
cooler heads prevailed,
and Rob and the Turf ended up
listening to the match,
which I was delighted about.
GRIFFITHS:
And that is the final whistle.
Wow.
Wrexham, I think,
will have grounds
to feel really disappointed
that they didn't get
the 3 points.
HUMPHREY: Incidentally,
we drew against Boreham Wood,
1-1, which means that we, uh,
still haven't beaten
any of our closest competitors
yet this season,
which is far from ideal.
We lost Chesterfield,
lost Notts.
We we drew today.
HUMPHREY: So to recap, Shaun
has been gone for two days,
and so far there's been
a healthy dose of lies
and subterfuge from at least
one of our owners
and very nearly violations
of both Welsh aviation law
and international
blackout regulations.
And worst of all,
two phone calls to Shaun
on his sacrosanct holiday.
And, uh, we haven't even gotten
to the bad part yet.
[clicking]
[dramatic music]
The surprise
on Ryan's birthday was a blimp,
which for UK viewers, is just
a stupid fucking balloon.
You know, Rob thinks
he's very funny,
and and, you know,
usually he is, by and large,
but I think, um, by this stage
of having two days of dealing
with his shenanigans,
my sense of humor was
at an all-time low.
Um, but on the plus side,
you know,
Shaun's third day
of his vacation was
Was pretty quiet.
And that is where things
took a turn again.
[clicking]
Should footballers be able
to put political messages
on their boots?
Okay, so football club Wrexham,
owned by, uh, Ryan Reynolds
and some other guy,
uh, banned striker Paul Mullin
from wearing boots emblazoned
with a political message.
I think we've got the image.
REPORTER 2: Mm.
REPORTER 1:
Uh, he said, "Eff the Tories."
Paul, uh, unfortunately,
you know, on his boots,
it had, uh, "Fuck the Tories."
And you can't say
"Fuck the Tories,"
'cause the phrase
"Fuck the Tories" is a very,
uh, explosive phrase, because
Before we get into all that,
I should probably just
give you a quick primer
on British politics.
UK politics is dominated
by two parties.
You have the Conservative Party,
who are on the right
of the political spectrum,
and you have the Labour Party,
who are on the left.
The UK government is
the Conservative Party,
also known as the Tories.
Our local MP is a Tory,
but most of our fans are
probably Labour voters.
So Paul Mullin, who's very much
a Labour supporter,
decides to post a picture
of his new boots to Instagram,
and, you know, a very innocuous
picture of his boots.
Uh, but if you were
to swipe to the right
Yes.
SHAUN: The picture was taken
actually at the football club,
which could suggest
that it was club-endorsed,
when of course,
we had absolutely no idea.
REPORTER 1: Okay, so football
club Wrexham, owned by
HUMPHREY:
So this time, I don't think
anybody had to call Shaun.
He called me.
Paul Mullin from wearing
HUMPHREY: I know from talking
to Nicola that
she, you know, woke up
and rolled over in bed
at about 6:00 in the morning
in, you know,
the lovely Mediterranean,
sunlight falling on her face,
to find an empty bed
with Shaun out on the balcony
talking to people from,
you know, the UK government,
Welsh government,
the local council,
trying to put out fires
left, right, and center.
I obviously posted
the photo onto social media
and received a call
from the club quite quick,
to be fair to them,
just saying all, like,
the Wrexham, like, things
in the background is, like
I was like, oh,
I didn't realize.
Obviously it's not
representative of Wrexham.
It's totally me and my opinion.
So I removed the photo
and just put another one up.
I woke up the next day,
it blew up,
and next minute, I
I couldn't put the telly on
without it being
on every channel.
Is that not technically
a uniform?
So the club gets to pick
REPORTER 2: Yes, exactly.
Yeah, you just wear a uniform.
It was cute.
He's adorable.
But he's behaving like a child,
and you just can't.
It's born partly from his,
uh, Liverpudlian roots.
[crowd singing]
GRIFFITHS:
It's a chant that's been sung
at a lot of Liverpool games.
I think it's a special thing
to be from Liverpool,
and it means a lot to
To the people of Liverpool.
They're really proud of it.
The best city in England.
Well, we don't want to be
a part of England, but
SHAUN:
Paul is more than entitled
to his own political views.
What we can't allow to happen
is for those political views
to be delivered
using the club's platform.
So I was hoping I can just quell
this little fire that's burning.
All of a sudden,
Ryan liked the picture.
[dramatic music]
[splutters]
I gave it a like on Instagram.
I didn't know that that would
cause a ripple effect.
- Um
- It did.
HUMPHREY: Do you know
what an Instagram carousel is?
Uh, it's all right if you don't.
But you would expect
someone like Ryan Reynolds,
with his hundred million
Instagram followers,
would know exactly what one was.
SHAUN:
Now I need a fire engine
to put an inferno out.
HUMPHREY:
So Shaun left on Friday.
It's now Monday, and he's
threatening to come home.
HUMPHREY: So things were
looking pretty bleak
for Shaun's vacation.
I've not really been killing it
in my time as the Hand.
But the most critical thing was
making a statement.
HUMPHREY: "The photographs
taken at the Racecourse Ground
"were done so without
our knowledge or approval.
"The club also acknowledge
"that everyone is entitled
to their own opinion,
whether that be employees
or supporters."
So the statement went down
okay-ish, I guess.
I mean, as well as statements
like that can go down.
The Tories felt like
we hadn't gone far enough.
Our left-leaning
fan base decided
that we'd hung Paul out to dry.
So of course, it's at this point
that Shaun calls and says
he's cutting his holiday short
and he's coming home
the next day.
This is sort of our
"all is lost" moment really.
Rob and Ryan had, characteristically,
been causing chaos.
But worse, we had a political
firestorm to deal with,
and you know,
Shaun was having to cut short
his first holiday
in God knows how long.
So that's when I decided
to channel my inner Varys.
I knew if I was gonna
prevail upon Shaun
not to return to Wrexham,
there was no point
in contacting him directly
Or even to go to the "king."
You know, if you want something
from the king,
you start with the queen.
But when approaching the queen,
you must approach indirectly
and delicately.
[dramatic music]
♪
But it takes a deft hand
to lead the queen to water.
I told him what a shame
it would be if Shaun was
to spoil his holiday,
and, you know,
he being ever the superhero,
got in touch with Rob,
who called Shaun and demanded
he stay in Tenerife.
So the system works.
[clicking]
[upbeat Latin music]
♪
And now, to cap it all off,
at the game on Tuesday night,
we're losing 1-0,
and it's raining.
But Rob is nothing
if not confident,
and he made a prediction.
HUMPHREY:
We all know that the club
getting promotion this season
is the true focus.
ANNOUNCER:
Drop to the shoulder.
Trying to keep it
away from Spence.
[crowd roaring]
Paul stops the ball.
Gets his head up,
gets the crossing.
[indistinct shouting]
Goal!
[crowd cheering]
HUMPHREY: In football,
wins are a wonderful thing
because they help
to wipe the slate clean
the previous week,
change the agenda,
change the topic
of conversation.
ANNOUNCER:
Davies to Palmer.
Palmer holds the ball up well.
Here's Davies.
Davies!
[crowd roars]
HUMPHREY: So after a week
of trials and tribulations,
it was nice to get back
to doing what we do best,
which is winning
football matches.
ANNOUNCER:
Young. Good cross Hayden!
[crowd roaring]
HUMPHREY: So now Rob thinks
he's prescient
or m-magic or something.
I don't know.
I mean, I guess
Game of Thrones had magic in it.
You know, he's he's Bran,
the little boy,
on the back of Hodor.
He he can see into
the future apparently.
The other cochairman got
to convince himself
that he'd saved Shaun's holiday,
so that was nice for him.
And you know, ultimately,
Shaun did have
his holiday saved.
And so that was also
a nice thing.
And was I responsible
for those things?
I mean
[laughs]
That's not for me to say.
That's for you to decide.
But I will say,
I'm quite glad to go back
to just being Shaun's sidekick.
It's it's a lot less stressful.
[Lindsey Buckingham's
"Holiday Road"]
♪
LINDSEY:
I found out long ago ♪
It's a long way down
the holiday road ♪
Holiday road ♪
♪
[child giggles, seagull cries]
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