Wynonna Earp (2016) s02e04 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Wynonna Earp" - Wynonna! - The girl everyone's scared of.
I just can't stop seeing it.
Gory ritual, broken seal, Black Badge owns us.
- Hey, how's the demotion going? - Kill me a demon already.
You've been cooking drugs for Dolls? Suffice it to say, there is an effort afoot which requires a demon's blood in its purest form.
Not in uniform! OK? Not in public! Have you noticed any changes in Waverly lately? She's become cruel.
- You sure you're OK? - Better put that somewhere safe.
(screaming) (creaking metal) (cello music) - (door opening and closing) - Waves! You can't sleep in winter without three duvets, now you're out here in your nightgown? Hey.
What are what are we doing.
.
? Looking for breakfast? (sighs) Right.
You never know when might find a rabid case of waffles in the wild, huh? I must've been sleep walking? You couldn't have developed this fun new habit in July? (crying softly) Hey.
It's OK.
We'll start double-locking the front door.
(metal jingling) Can we just go inside? I'm freezing my butt off.
Well, come on! Now you're the one without a coat.
(shivering) (birds chirping) (whimpering) Wynonna (indistinct conversation) (doorbell jingling) Bathroom? You totally have to pay for that.
(doorbell jingling) (doorbell jingling) You know what I want.
(screaming, groaning) (whimpering) - That was rude.
- I wasn't expecting company.
We'll be taking that briefcase.
Yeah, I lose this case, I lose my job.
And there's a foosball table in my office.
- Black Badge does like to play games.
- This isn't a game.
(growling): Give it.
They make sure I can't do that.
And no, I don't have the combination.
- (growling) - (groaning) (thudding) - (whimpering) - (growling) (groaning) (grunting) I would say hand it over, but you might not like what that means.
- (chopping) - (screaming) Cujo, pay the lady for her troubles.
And the pastry.
We're not savages.
'Cause I gave you all I've got to give And no, that ain't no way to live I told that devil To take you back I told that devil To take you back - Aramaic? - Syriac? - Assyrian? - Assholery? That is totally not a thing.
Yuh-huh.
Assholery.
That seal is an asshole, broken by an asshole who let an asshole crawl out of it.
Assholery.
Speaking of assholes I got something.
There's a cream for that.
A briefcase was stolen, from a Field Marshall, in the Triangle.
And you're happy about that? Dude.
Course she is.
She retrieves the briefcase and snuggles so far back up Moody's pucker-butt That he has to reassign me.
Sayonara, Hellhole.
I really wish you'd give Purgatory a chance.
- It really is a very nice place.
- (scoffs) And we're this close to getting a vegetarian restaurant.
I I could use your help.
We get in, we get out, with back-up.
Hard pass.
Whatever broke that seal is about to rear its fugly head and I'm going to be there to punch the mother - I'll go.
- (together): What? I need someone who can work recon.
OK, I haven't told anyone this, but I've been looking into spy schools.
- Uh, there are no - Such thing as spy schools, I know.
But I'd be good! I know it.
I'm super bendy, so small spaces aren't a thing.
I can speak four languages fluently, and I was once hit by a tranquilizer dart and still went to band practice.
It would be a good case for her to cut her teeth on.
- No way! - It's a big one, Earp.
We'll have backup.
Real backup.
Alright, you're in.
- Come on in and I'll brief you.
- OK! - Yay! I'm getting briefed! - Careful.
It might just mean - she's taking your underpants.
- Well, actually Yeah, I know she's not taking her underpants, close your mouth, Jeremy.
Focus on the seal.
I have to go break one of my own.
Way too much coffee.
The heat is breaching two- twelve.
You're burning it.
This isn't moonshine.
We're mixing volatile elements with genie blood.
It needs to be hotter than Hell.
Yeah, well just don't go blowing up my bar, because I extorted good money for it.
Is there anybody around here you haven't blackmailed? - All for a noble cause - (hissing) Doc, no! - (screaming) - (hissing) Thunderation! You are a woman of unexpected talents.
I nearly burn my skin off and you think - that is this funny? - It's just "Thunderation.
" Let me see.
Ah, nothing a little aloe can't cure.
That's one hell of a life line.
Yeah, well, I may have time but Dolls does not.
Yeah.
The drugs will get done.
Whether he's strong enough You never mind about that.
He will survive this.
He must.
Dude.
That supposed to resemble a pizza? Yeah, it gets worse: it's gluten-free.
- I'm sorry.
- Ah, it's OK.
It almost tastes like real cheese.
No, I'm sorry.
That weirdness in Waverly you were trying to yeah, I'm kind of finally noticing now.
I can't betray her trust.
I I would never ask you to.
But yeah.
Waverly's struggling a little with who she is.
That struggle is going to get her hurt.
- I mean, going undercover for Lucado? - What? Mhm.
Not to mention the short-decisions, rash tempers, - sleepwalking - Sleepwalking? In the winter? From Ms.
Four blankets plus a bonus blanket? This morning, there she was, traipsing through the snow in nothing but a nightgown.
(sighing) Look, I'd maim a duck for a spoon right now.
Oh, yeah.
Good luck.
All of the cutlery has gone missing, including the fork with only one tine.
You?! Waverly.
Oh, my God! Dolls? Dolls, are you here? (growling) OK, we've really got to come up with a secret handshake.
Cause this greeting sucks.
(growling) Dolls.
- (grunting) - (growling) (growling) Look at me.
Look.
Dolls, it's me.
Dolls Wynonna.
(gasping) Ah, no! No.
(grunting) (growling) No! Wynonna! I don't want you seeing me like this.
Why? It's not like you you have a tail or something.
Ah! I can't control it.
I'm not leaving you.
Can you can you get to the truck? It's just outside the door.
(groaning) (growling) - (grunting) - (growling) - (screaming) - (cracking) (thudding) (sighing) You owe me so many massages.
(door creaking) The lock-picking worked! Thank you, YouTube! Should should we have a safe word? Like if I say "tacos are tasty" send in the back-up? Sure.
Whatever.
Hey, remember, you're there to drop off your bartender application, but you got lost.
Anyone finds you, just smile and play dumb, got it? Wait, got what? - I said - Oh, sure.
Got it.
The briefcase is silver, heavy.
It's here.
I know it is.
Check every office, every closet.
Hey! Cupcake! - More like crap cakes.
- Crap what? Hi! - Uh, I'm - Late.
VIPs are here.
- Awesome! - OK.
Two Mob-mobiles pulled up.
This could be our guy.
What's going on in there? Hello, Earp? What's the matter? You are entertainment - Who the hell else would I be? - Good.
- Be onstage in five minutes.
- What? (heels clicking) - What should I do? - Sing.
- Doc? - (growling) - The heck is he doing with you? - A little help? This is not the plan.
- It's too dangerous.
- (grunting) He needs his drugs.
Now.
(groaning) The medicine isn't ready.
Stay with me, Deputy Marshall.
You never said he was law.
- Is that going to be a problem? - No.
No, it's just - She needs more time.
- I need to adjust the balance of acids to alkaline for whatever he is.
And I could use someone on the inside.
OK, well, let me just call Black Badge and tell them we have their number one fugitive and that we'd like to borrow their recipe for demon dope, OK? Unless Jeremy? We can't trust him.
He's so Willing to help? I'll be here.
I'll be here.
Even if you turn into a lizard or a salamander or whatever you are.
We'll buy you a terrarium.
Little sun lamp, couple of plants Shh.
Waverly! Hey.
Hey.
OK.
- You're gonna come through this.
- Last night, in the barn her eyes She got a look in her eyes, Wynonna.
(groaning) (animal calling) (crunching) (sighing) (footsteps) Moment on the lips I see you're still a bitch.
You have to try this.
Bacon.
They should put this on everything.
They do.
What are you, new? Where's Beth? She's just putting on her face.
I was up half the night, by the way.
That's funny.
Why? Why you didn't stick up for me with that ginger cop? - Don't you remember? - Of course I remember.
Why wouldn't I remember? I remember, and I don't like your tone.
I just wanted to teach her a lesson.
Well, maybe you should.
Have you been mainlining Beth's happy pills? - I don't know.
Should I? - Stop it.
All you do is play games.
I don't like your games.
Well then go play with someone else.
(door opening and closing) (screaming) (screaming) - (screaming) - (crunching) This emblem here is an osprey, symbolizing solar worship.
Which doesn't make sense.
You know, maybe it's an eagle.
Or Hawkman? - Jeremy, where's Waverly? - With Lucado.
- What's that smell? - I know with Lucado, but where did Lucado go? Why? Did our illustrious boss sit in it again? Again? What "again"? Lucado's so obsessed about getting in good with BBD that she's, uh, screwing up.
Messy reports, inappropriate phone calls to - Ammonia! Mixed with clementines.
- Speaking of inappropriate - Take off your coat.
- What?! - Coat! - Get off me, Agent Chetri! (gasping) You can start fires with your mind? No! Polyester and CH-3M5 do not mix! How did you even come in contact with it? I've only ever seen it used on No You tell anyone and I'll rip your balls off.
Dolls is alive! I knew it! - What do you care? - It would really stick it to BBD.
And? He's the only Marshall who understood what happened to my Mom plus one time he helped me do a chin-up.
OK, that doesn't like him, but we're the ones who are screwed, because we're this close to engineering his anti-demon juice.
(sniffing) Yeah, you're just using too much ammonia.
Classic Wynonna.
- We could use your help.
- Ba-ding ba-ding.
- You short-circuiting, Bb-8? - No.
That's where Waverly is.
Thank you.
All right.
You go to Shorty's, save Dolls.
I'll get the girl.
Yes.
Awesome.
Now I feel like Hawkman.
(piano music) You Sorry, can we start that again? Thank you.
You You think you're a lion Out in the wild You need to be tamed And ooh Can you year the sirens I'mma put you under Like Novocaine Boys are like rules They were made to be broken Boys are like rules They were made to be broken Girls are like guns you better run when they're smokin' Boys are like rules They were made to be broken They were made to be broken Boys are like rules They were made to be broken Girls are like guns You better run, run, run When they're smokin' Boys are like rules They were made to be broken You better run (applause) - (cheering) - Thank you.
(applause) I had hoped you'd be good at this, but wow! Listen, this guy may not have stolen the briefcase for himself.
I think he's going to sell it.
- A buyer? Who? - I don't know.
You mean, you don't know yet.
The Black Badge Agent put up quite a fight.
Makes me think stealing this briefcase is worth more than you're paying.
- Then we'll double your fee.
- Triple.
My colleagues and I reached out to you in good faith.
- What's in the briefcase? - That's none of your business.
See, it really is.
I've been hearing things.
Nasty stuff this way comes.
I need to pad the coffers.
I need to arm up.
Is it a weapon? I can pay you four times your fee.
(laughing) It's a big weapon.
(gunshot) (gasping) Tacos are tasty! Tacos! Tacos are tasty! Waverly? Waverly! - Where is she? - The mission was just recon! - Everything was fine.
- Was? There was a gunshot.
I'm going in.
Call back-up or tactical or whoever's hiding in the bushes.
There's no one in the bushes.
I have been blackballed by HQ.
They ignore my reports and my messages.
This is my one shot to get back in (grunting) My sister's in there, you bitch.
Anything happens to her, I'll give you one shot.
Right between the eyes.
(gasping): Waves! Thank God.
Are you hurt? - Tacos are tasty.
- Did you do that? No.
Let's go.
Come on.
Hello! I'm rescuing you.
Let's go.
I can't.
And neither can you.
(gasping) Super.
(footsteps) We have to talk.
Next time, book a spa day.
You blew my cover.
There were gunshots.
Like I was gonna hang in the van.
Lucado called you in?! Doesn't anybody have any faith in me? - You, BBD - Waves! Don't worry, ladies.
The pussy's well out of the bag.
Although, you may be the best looking Black Badge agents I've ever seen.
Might be? (laughing) Please.
Untie me and I'll rock your world.
- (laughing) - You've got about 90 seconds before a BBD recovery team comes in and goes all John Wick on your ass.
If you mean the ice queen in the van, she's already flown south.
But enough blather.
What's in the case? Seriously, Waverly.
Poker face.
Sing, little birdy.
If you don't even know what's in it, why steal it? I'm a bit like Robin Hood.
I steal from the rich, and I sell to the highest bidder.
Dude, you gotta watch that movie again.
I did say "a bit.
" Now Black Badge wants it.
My client was willing to pay through the nose for it.
But why? What does EE stand for? (softly): Don't.
Alright then.
Close the club, and bring me my tools.
We're going to have a nice long chat.
Chats aren't good.
(groaning) Alright, that looks about the right color.
Come on.
I'm not sure about the dosage though.
Well, he's worse than we've ever seen him, so we're gonna have to risk it.
Then hold him down.
No! No! No! No! No! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Talk, or the last sound you'll ever hear is the crushing of your larynx.
You give him that much after he's been off this long and his veins will burst, his heart will stop and he'll definitely, probably die.
Why should we believe you? Firepower.
Buxom biochemist.
Hello.
BBD Science.
Wynonna's decided to trust me.
And we all know that's a big deal.
If our friend here is going to live, he's going to need all of us.
So, this isn't the best birthday.
Oh, shit.
No, I'm kidding.
It's not my birthday.
Wait You know when my birthday is, right? Don't yell at me.
I'm already getting wicked rope burn.
I shouldn't have trusted Lucado.
- There's no backup.
- Well, listen.
We've been in worse spots.
This is just another bad fake birthday.
This is all my fault.
I just wanted to go all Wynonna for once.
Stick to being Waverly.
She's pretty great.
There's something wrong with her - Me.
- No.
Come on.
We just lost a sister.
- Our home's infested with demons.
- No.
You think so too.
I know it was just for like, a second, but you thought I killed that guy.
The sleep-walking, the gaps in my memories it it all started at that arch.
Where Willa crossed the boundary.
- The tentacle thing - Yeah.
I sliced it.
Hard.
No, there was something left, OK? This perfect pool of shiny goo.
It it was calling to me.
It's like I can almost remember and then my head gets hot and I'm like OK.
Stop.
Listen.
Here's the plan: I'm going to Cirque du Soleil this phone into position, call Doc for back up, and then ol' Robin Hood's gonna ood-a-lally right to Hell, and then we'll figure out what's up with you.
Together.
(grunting) Right.
So, you're going to call Doc.
OK.
(clicking) (beeping) Siri, call Doc Holliday! Calling Holiday Inn.
- No! Damn it! - Stupid bitch.
I want you to tie it tighter, alright, just don't - cut off my circulation.
- Not that I ain't glad to see you, but you cocked up the plan.
How do you know you weren't followed? 'Cause the only guys that followed me got their asses handed to 'em.
- Ex-military.
- Courtesy of one vengeful Lucado.
Yeah.
You know, I think you're kind of afraid that the ladies will cool down.
Now that the competition's back.
Well, I think one lady in particular doesn't know what she wants, though I suspect she will prefer it to be human.
Well, you look really small without your hat.
(chuckling) How'd you make it back here? - (sighs) - (phone beeping) Some guy found me holed up in a hunter's cabin.
Drove me back to the Earp Homestead and said that my job wasn't done.
This fella, he happen to go by the name of Juan Carlo? - (phone beeping) - Yeah.
Yeah, he gets around.
Likes to speak in riddles, more sass than sense.
Yeah, he had a nice truck though.
- (phone beeping) - (coughing) (groaning) He also said that something's been broken? - (phone beeping) - Does that mean anything to you? Your phone's blowing up.
And I thought that pizza sucked.
Tucker Gardner, how can I help you? My sisters.
Acting weird.
Well I mean, I'd take the weird because they saved you from being charged.
I'm sorry.
Did you apologize to the girls you were photographing? You're Waverly's - friend.
- That's not super relevant.
She's been acting weird too, hasn't she? One minute, dear sweet Waverly.
The next? She nearly choked me to death.
Nice try.
I figure that's why you're so angry.
Because she's been acting strange around you too.
I think you should get out of here.
I don't want to cause trouble! But if our Waverly is dangerous then it's a town issue, don't you think? I could always talk to her for you.
- I said get out.
- I'm trying to help.
I'm not a bad person.
And if you know what's good for you, you'll stop treating me like one.
(door closing) (footsteps) (thudding) (sighing) Boo, I was two weeks from getting a free upgrade.
Cujo check for guns and phones.
Post guards.
You know where.
If we have guests coming, we wanna be sure to give them a warm welcome.
You know, I have never encountered this particular type of metal before.
What? You mean your tools didn't work? Well, good thing I have the Earp sisters.
Up! - (groaning) - Don't! Don't! Don't touch her! Hey! I'm only Black Badge under duress, OK? Clearance Level 0 doesn't even get you a free sub card.
Well, let's start with the initials.
EE.
Eazy-E.
Eeyore.
Eee E-Arthur.
(thudding) - (screaming) - Let her go! - (screaming): No! - Listen asscapade, I know nothing about this goddamn briefcase! (whimpering) (flesh tearing) - Edwin Earp! Edwin Earp! - Of course it's an Earp.
So you know the combination.
Unlock it.
Edwin Earp, the one-year wonder, uh - when did Grandpa become the heir? - 1967! Combination's five digits! - I don't know! - I think you're stalling.
No! No! No! (whimpering) Let her go, and I will get you the combination.
I will literally hunt down my superior and drag her Pilates-sculpted ass back here myself! Wynonna.
(metal rattling) (growling) That was dumb.
- Waverly! - (screaming) (screaming): No! (dripping) - (screaming) - Waverly! Waverly! Now you can unlock it, or she can bleed out.
We are going to kill the shit out of your stupid face! We who? - There's no backup, remember? - (whimpering) - (gunshots) - (groaning) (indistinct yelling) (gunshots) (gunshots) (chuckling) Woo! This must be the place.
- (moaning) - (growling) - (metal rattling) - (growling) (whimpering) Waverly.
- This isn't happening.
- This isn't happening.
OK? Waves, your hand.
OK.
We gotta get out of here.
(groaning): Yeah.
Yeah, we gotta get out of here! - Oh, God! OK.
- Oh (screaming) I'm sorry! Come on! Come on! I know! I know! I know! Keep that thing wrapped tight.
- That's what she said.
- God I love you.
(gasping) Sorry about your friends.
- Stay! - (growling) (groaning) Damn.
I liked her.
You're gonna pay for that.
But you're not leaving 'til you open this thing.
Look, Ginsu, that's Earp property.
Thanks for getting it back from Black Badge and everything, but we got it from here.
- (grunting) - Ooh! Savage! - Come on! - Wait! What about the briefcase? Uh, eff it! One milliliter an hour for the next 12 hours.
Slow but steady, OK? You are a genius with this stuff! Why am I just meeting you now? Geniuses are often unappreciated until they're dead.
Which I am not.
Which you can see, 'cause dead would be the worst.
Torture, maybe, actually I sure could have used your help re-formulating this serum.
Oh, they never showed us the formula.
We just studied the dosage, and its effects on the specimens.
- Specimens? - Oh, stupid idiot.
Not Not you.
Me.
I shouldn't be talking to a civilian like this.
No wonder BBD doesn't trust me.
- I trust you.
- Oh, wow.
OK.
No.
Um (stuttering) Not in front of Dolls.
I just don't want him to get the wrong impression.
You are gorgeous for a girl, but you are a girl.
(laughing) Honey, I was just trying to coerce you into getting lattes from a place down the street.
I'm I'm getting razzed 'cause I'm part of the team? Alright, cool.
(laughing) - OK.
- Yeah.
- Alright, got the lattes! - Mm! (sighing) OK, watch your step.
Sorry.
Sorry! That's my fault.
I'm sorry.
(grunting) I hope that really hurt.
(grunting) (thudding) - I'm just all ran out of bullets.
- He took her hand.
Waverly! You want this, huh? Doc says I have to wait.
Who are you? This wasn't easy to replicate.
It might cure you, it might kill you.
Though it sounds like this isn't the first time you've been a guinea pig.
(growling) (grunting) Shit! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't Don't! - (hissing) - (groaning) (growling) Run.
Run! - (groaning) - (heavy breathing) - (metal clattering) - (growling) (sizzling) (panting) Hold on, little darlin'.
This'll staunch the flow - until we get you to a hospital.
- (whimpering) I'll go find her hand.
What for? You gonna bury the thing? It's called modern medicine, Doc! They can reattach anything, - we just gotta work fast! - Wynonna, where are you going? It's OK, sweetie.
You'll play piano again.
Wynonna? Wynonna! What, Doc?! Oh my God, wait, who got hurt? You.
How the hell is that possible? He chopped it off! - Did he? - Yeah! I saw the blood.
I heard you scream.
You saw it.
Well, I I kind of turned away.
The power of suggestion is a formidable thing.
Doc, I know what I saw.
And yet Waverly still seems to be intact.
Do you have another explanation? Well then, if everyone has all their limbs, we have more work to attend to.
- We'll drop you off at home.
- Now, is this ours? (grunting) Hey.
I didn't realize you'd be bringing company.
Somebody having a bad trip? - I told you to wait.
- He didn't give me much of a choice.
- Well, how much did he take? - All of it.
- What are you doing? - I'm going to help him.
Estúpida.
He's not himself.
Hey, estúpida! How the hell would you know? I've talked him down before, I can do it again.
It might be our only shot, before he hurts himself.
(banging) Bad news: they ran out of pumpkin spice.
Ugh! Friar Cuck.
My guys have the place surrounded.
The briefcase, or he dies first.
He's the new guy.
Last one in, first one out.
- What?! - Jeremy, loosen up.
I'm about to poop my pants.
- Not that loose.
- The briefcase! It belongs to the Earps.
Well, I guess we're about to have a whole lot of killing.
Put it on the table.
- Peacemaker too.
- OK.
OK?! It's yours.
Take it.
Anyone tries anything, the whole place goes up in flames.
(door crashing open) (sizzling) (roaring) (sizzling) (groaning) What - Was - That?! Way cool, with a side of habanero.
- (sizzling) - (whimpering) Dolls? Fire-breather? Dragon Face? Just just give me some indication as to who I'm talking to.
(coughing) (panting) Wow! (laughing) - Did you see that?! - I thought tying a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue was a cool party trick.
Could I get some water? Please? It's hot.
Doc, water.
Oh! Hey! How's work? Thanks, man.
(chuckling) (coughing) Something is coming.
Winter? Yeah, we got the memo.
(laughing) You're not ready.
(laughing) You'll never be ready.
I'm ready now.
(Dramatic instrumental music) You're here! Just for my things, then I'm gone.
We've been waiting for you.
All of us.
Who's all of us? We have something we want you to see.
If you think you're going to lock me in there Why would we do that? You're too angry and too dark to be locked up.
You need space to let your darkness grow.
We intend to nurture your prowess.
My prowess? (whimpering) Beth! Who are you? What did you do to my sisters? We're your sisters now.
You're the reason we chose them.
You'll never be locked up again.
A new world is coming.
We need your help.
In return, we'll give you - anything you want.
- Anything? Anything.
(whimpering) I want a girl.
Edwin Earp, the One Year Wonder.
Grandpappy put down 70 revenants in 300 days.
With the help of BBD of course.
Yeah, well Whatever's in his briefcase has Lucado creaming her granny panties.
Only thing between us and it are five numbers.
June 18, 1940.
Edwin's birthday.
I googled it.
OK.
(clicking) Here we go.
- Yeah.
- It's a plate.
Are we going to give it to Lucado? Hell no! You lost nearly lost a hand over it.
We should talk about the uh, demon goo At the arch.
Babe whatever you did, I want to help.
Good because I am so sick of fighting her.
She's so strong.
- The thing inside of you? - No, stupid.
The thing outside of me.
Waverly.
Like you're gonna kill another sister.
I won't let you kill her either.
If only.
She's been resisting me so hard.
I'm exhausted.
Do you know how much energy it takes to regrow a human hand? Waverly, baby girl, if you're still in there I'm not having any fun.
But today You.
You you like to have fun.
Yeah, I'm a real hoot.
Oh, and you'd be so easy.
What? (sizzling) - (groaning) - (thudding) (chuckling) Oh yeah.
Oh, this is so much better.
(sighing) Now what are we going to do with you?