Youngers (2013) s02e04 Episode Script

1 Ey, yo Yems! Ey what, Mumsie finally had enough of the worldly music, yeah? No, we got a hot gig lined up.
What? Eh, what hot gig? What time you leaving? - A paid hot gig, bruv! - Paid? What, bring us in, bruv! Move, man.
Exclusive Youngers business.
Davina, my baby, my angel, my princess Exclusive Youngers business.
Who's that? Come my, younglings.
Come.
What? Maybe we want some group hug love.
That's what you got Jodie for.
[THEY LAUGH.]
That was the A&R scout who discovered you.
What? Eh, yo, come back, man! No, listen, not only is tonight's showcase serious tings, but his boss, the head of LGO Records, is gonna be there! - No! - Are we gonna get signed? Just focus on the gig for now and on being 100% professional, yeah? - And then after that, boys, man.
- Ash, man! Keep the A&R stuff on the low.
Ash? We got a gig to get to.
Yeah, you both got a gig to get to, it's the same gig.
Uh? I ain't sharing my P or the stage with them.
What?! The gig's paid? Yo, you, man, we gonna get some P! Money, money, money! Listen, I will decide who gets what, OK?! You lot need to find yourself to a bus stop and I'll meet you there.
Bus? Yeah! Gotta get the bus! [THEY RAP.]
So how's Miss Diva doing tonight, then? Fine.
How's Miss Marlon doin'? Just the right amount of attitude but not too facey.
Don't let him sweet talk you, D.
That's how man like that roll.
- A man like you? - Who gave you permission to laugh? Oi, careful how you chat to big man, Younger.
Understand? Hey, man, a spider! He's a big man, yeah? Come on, Ash, man, what type of venue is this? Bruv, I told you, this is an exclusive gig.
Now come on.
Oi, what's up with the filming, man? Why you so ghetto, Bruv? Shut up! Can everyone just shut up! Let's go.
Get off my property or I'll call the police! I jest! I jest! Come on.
You must be Ashley.
I'm Vince.
If you go by the gate, you'll get a much better shot when he turns up.
Our guest of honour is gonna be here in seconds.
Everybody, outside, please! It's gonna be someone big, I can feel it, mate! [SCREAMING.]
That's my boy.
This ain't no showcase.
Oi, sideman! What happen to the red carpet? And where are the Avengers Krew? I told you I'm not prepared to spend ten grand! Did he just call his dad a sideman? Um, I think so.
Say hello to the Youngers and the, erm, Bad The Bad Breeds! The Bad Breeds! They're from the ghetto.
Aren't they? I asked for the Avengers Krew! Part like the sea.
That yute needs a firm backhand.
- Pot calling kettle black.
- What you say? She said sometimes a pot bowls faster than a kettle to be a pot.
[PARTY MUSIC.]
Harry's always been a bit of a grime aficionado.
He's always bunning wasteman and slewing sideman.
But DQ tells me you lot are the real deal, so Harry should love ya.
I'll see you downstairs.
What kind of dressing room is this? Bruv, I beg you just go get Yemi's stuff from my car.
We're not slaves, you know.
You laughing at? What's happening, Ash? We gotta change things.
Why? Cos our client, the birthday boy, is into hood music.
And? And his dad, Vince, is the head of LGO Records.
Yeah.
So if we're gonna impress Vince, we've got to impress the birthday boy.
That means when you go out there, you've gotta hit that stage hard and ghetto, yeah? Remember that rep in Peckham.
Why have we gotta be ghetto to rep Peckham? Cos Peckham's ghetto, fam! Not all of it! Exactly.
My part ain't.
We know, princess, we know.
I'm not playing up to no stereotype, man.
I'm not doing it.
Bruv, just do what you need to do to get signed, then afterwards you can debate with Vince, all right, about what is and isn't stereotyping, but for now, just hood! Find some hood within you! I mean, that's back to basics for me, boi.
Ain't that right? Know what I'm saying? I've been moving in grime since I was seven.
I made my first beat when I was nine.
From then, I had man like Wiley telling me I was the future.
The boi is a sideman.
I know big people in the game, innit? I'm talking Kano, Giggs, Skepta, Dizzee.
I've got them all on speed-dial.
So why aren't they here? I stopped them from coming, innit? It would've been roadblock! So when you gonna give me your number, D? I'm not giving you my number.
What about if I gave you my digits? OK, if it makes you feel good.
Doesn't mean I'm gonna call you, though.
- What you doing? - Thanks for the drop call! [PHONE RINGS.]
- Don't give him your number, D! - Bruv, why you blocking? - Am I talking to you or my band member? - Focus on other things, - like learning how to spit.
- Why you tryin'? Jay just leave it.
- You know you're not a real MC! - Good one.
Real talk.
The way I see it, Miss Diva can bang out the vocals.
Yemi's a decent-ish producer.
You're the weakest link.
- He's not.
- Stop it, both of you! Oi, fix up.
People are watching.
What are you ragamuffins like? Oi, my people are getting bored.
Who's first to perform? The Breeds.
What? So we're some warm-up act for these yutes now, yeah? Just show these people what you're about.
I already know what this guy's about.
Sideman-ness.
[THEY RAP.]
Safe.
I mean, thanks.
They're very internalised, aren't they? I bet they work well on pirate radio.
Yeah.
They're absolutely killing it on local stations.
Ah! Good for them.
So, would you say you'd be interested in, like, signing them? It's good they've found a home on local radio.
What I like are bubbly young acts with commercial potential who don't perform on stage like they're in their bedroom.
OK, listen up! Forgot everything I said earlier about it being cool.
We have to keep it sweet and bubbly because Vince wants to see your commercial side.
Oh, well, tell that's a bit awkward because, you know, I'm sort of locked onto the ghetto, you know?! Well, you're gonna have to unlock it, fam! Why is Uncle Errol calling me? What? No, it's not Yemi, it's Ashley, now what you want? OK.
Yeah.
OK.
Louise is in labour.
Gwan, Ash! Ash, you best go, man! Yeah.
We'll handle this, you handle your baby, bro! OK, just remember everything that I just said.
Yemi, you're in charge of getting the pay.
Do not leave without getting it.
And don't forget to get signed! That's important.
Gwan, Ash! It's time to step up, peeps.
[SIREN WAILS.]
What took you so long? I had to park down the road, Uncle.
The hospital car park prices are tief.
Nephew, good luck.
You call me when it's all over, all right? Where you going? Listen, let's just say me and hospitals we don't really get along.
- But I need you.
- You never need me for the conception.
Please.
I haven't done this before.
Plus, to be honest, I'm kinda shook.
All right, she's in room three.
Thank you! And, Nephew, don't be scared.
Your baby can't wait to see you! Oh, you think I'm shook of the baby.
Nah, man's shook of Louise! [HE CHUCKLES.]
I'm sorry you had to leave early.
Don't apologise, this is more important.
Can you tell the nurse I changed my mind? I want that epidural! Yep.
Uncle, what is an epidural, again? Epi what? Epidural.
I don't know! I'm gonna have to Google it.
- Google? - [SHE SHRIEKS.]
Don't worry 'bout no Google! Go get the nurse! [SHE SHRIEKS.]
Yo, yo, yo, what's happenin'? [FEEDBACK.]
What's happenin'? Listen, my name's the Linkster, yeah? We got the Diva right here, we got Yemz.
Together we're the Youngers.
Hol' tight man like Harry on his DOB! Right about now we're about to shut 'ish down! Yemi, run the ting, cuz.
Yeah.
[URBAN BACKING TRACK PLAYS.]
Yeah It's Linkster, you listenin'? Yeah We can make the change Can't ever see the day that we'll fade away The streets to the charts we pave the way Soon be the best-seller since 50 Shades of Grey Eh, today's the day I got rates to pay I'm in a paper chain Nobody but I can make me wait I want the team to get paid and I made you wait I tell 'em don't hate the payer But I hate the game Me and Yems come to change the game [CROWD BOOS AND JEERS.]
I really can't care what - [CROWD BOOS.]
Um, that was an early track of how we begun.
We didn't know much, we didn't have much.
We were just "ghetto".
A bit like the Bad Breeds.
[SHOUTING.]
Simmer down, simmer down.
Leave her to me.
But we wanted to make proper hits, proper music.
Like this Linkster, Diva, let's show this lot what real music's about.
[BACKING TRACK STARTS.]
Heads up introducin' the Youngers Some brand-new tings Tell the haters we dismiss 'em All you trolls back under bridges Bye-bye, Sandman thanks for visitin' You still talking? I start dissin' [LAUGHTER.]
We got the riffs We got the hooks We got nuff bars to make us stars We got the looks We got the rhymes We got the fans I got my fam stood near beside me One Supergirl one Batman Which I'm guessing makes me Spidey And if I ever diss on dem May lightning come and strike me Swear down they aren't laughing now My people stood behind me There's more to me than lookin' fly More to things than staring at the sky There's more to life than feeling fine There's more to me than meets the eye [TRYING SINGING.]
Yo, yo, yo, it's my birthday, it's my birthday.
Gonna get a Bentley cos it's my birthday [CROWD BOOS.]
The Diva's not for chirpsin' bro.
Give me back the mic.
- Was that you? - What? - What the hell you doing?! - He started it! Hey! Stop this madness! Stop it! Do something like that again and see what happens.
I'll come for you, bruv.
[MUSIC PUMPS.]
[SHOUTING AND SHRIEKING.]
Any excuse to touch me.
Do you wanna fend for yourself? No, you can stay! Jay, Davina, Come! WHISPERS: Uncle? Uncle? Grab my phone for me.
My phone is in my pocket.
[SHOUTING IN BACKGROUND.]
[PHONE VIBRATES.]
[HE MOUTHS.]
I think they've stopped.
Go check.
I'm not getting my garms messed up.
Hmmm, I thought you were a "big man"? I ain't doin' it.
[PHONE CONTINUES TO VIBRATE.]
Hey, Ashley, how's the baby? Not here, yet.
How'd the performance go? Has Vince chat to you yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah it's good.
The performance was good.
[SHOUTING AND SCREAMING.]
What was that? Erm, erm Yemi! Yemi! What was? Louise?! Can't you just focus on me for one minute? He's gone.
It's all right, he's gone, he's gone.
- [SHE SHRIEKS.]
- Um, uncle, call the nurse! Hello? Nurse? OK, just breathe.
Breathe deep.
Deep! I am breathing deep! Deeper.
Than that.
Do you think we'll still get paid? Do you think we'll still get signed? What you talking about? Erm, J Ashley Harry's dad owns a record company.
That's what Ashley meant by this being a showcase.
And nobody felt to tell me? Cos it was for the Youngers, not the Bad Breeds.
[KNOCKING AND BANGING ON THE DOOR.]
You think you're a big man starting riots at a kids' party? Boy, I didn't start things.
You've got ten seconds to leave my house before I call the police.
For dashin' grapes? Allow it, man.
Ten, nine, eight Bell me, yeah? Six, five, four, three You know this is all his fault? Whatever, Jay.
You lot! Out, out! But this ain't our fault man.
All we did was perform.
[HE LAUGHS.]
Why you laughing for? You think we're not serious artists? Ha-ha! Listen, we do gigs all the time, yeah, we got our own mix tapes and I've even looked into drinking more water and moisturising, I'm on this.
Moisturising?! Sorry, I know you're upset because of what's happened, but we thought you'd be talking to us about getting signed? - What? me sign you lot up?! - Yeah.
OK, let me tell you lot about your chances of getting signed.
You, young lady, you might be pretty but there is no grit or bite to your sound.
I thought you were from Pecknam? I bet she sings better than you, though! Oh, do you have something substantial to add? Cos your bars are all style and no substance.
No poetry, no depth and no nothing.
Whoa, hang on a sec.
You don't know what we can do.
How much of our stuff have you even heard? I've heard enough to know your role as producer is replaceable.
But right now you got ten seconds to get out my house.
Good luck cleaning up.
Uncle? Ahh I don't 'ave change for a fiver.
I'm not a bank, awight?! [HE SNORTS.]
Uncle! Someone wants to meet you.
Wow! It's a.
.
It's a baby! [HE SOBS.]
[BABY GURGLES.]
Yo! Harry, we're so sorry, man.
To make it up we can offer you studio time? Or just record I don't need studio time.
I've got my own studio in the basement.
And you don't need to apologise, the party has been dope! Everythin' ton up! Let's do it again, sometime.
I should warn you, your dad is ridiculously angry.
That sideman's always angry.
HARRY, GET HERE IN NOW! Coming, Daddy! [PHONE VIBRATES.]
Oh, Louise had her baby.
Oh, sick.
Ohhh.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
You all right, Yemz? Yeah, man, you? D? You know he's trouble, innit? Whatever, Jay.
Look, stay out my business, yeah? MUSIC "Stay Inside" by Raleigh Ritchie Drugs and girls, life and death Is all that goes through my head I shrink the world, nothing left I sleep with an eye on them Nothing is getting in Not even life I'm gonna stay inside Stay inside Stay inside Stay inside Oh, she is so gorgeous! Nothing like her clat dad.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
So, don't keep me in suspense any longer, you know.
What did Vince say? Oh.
Erm Have you thought of a name for her yet? We still ain't decided.
Whatever you do don't call her Claire or Hannah because they are nothing but trouble.
Same with Jodie.
Ayeshas.
And Basically, don't name the baby the name of a girl Jay's been out with.
In that case I might have to call her Fred or something.
Yo, DQ, what's good? Yeah? OK, yep.
So what happened with Vince? What you doing tonight? You linking someone? Fam, roll out ma business.
Internet date number three.
"I'm cleaning up, bruv".
And here are your new pants.
I've thrown the old ones away.
Oi, stay there! You got time to make a beat for me? A proper professional ting? Now, I should have a free yard in about an hour Or shall I just follow you back to yours?