All Creatures Great and Small (2020) s02e05 Episode Script
The Last Man In
Mr Hulton's waiting for you
in the yard, Mr Herriot.
Thank you.
Mrs Hall? Look at this, Mrs Hall.
There's a hole in my cricket flannels.
So there is.
I can't wear them on Sunday with a hole.
What would Mrs Pumphrey say? It's a good thing the Lord invented darning then.
Right.
Thank you.
I've just been speaking to Richard Alderson.
Oh, aye? Apparently, we're still a man short for Sunday.
It's bad enough that we've lost our top batsman.
Tristan, I know you're still unhappy with me, but this - this is cricket.
The annual Darrowby match at Pumphrey Manor.
You're not just punishing me, you know, you're letting down the whole team.
Look, I told you - I can't play for the Darrowby 11 any more.
Oh, that's just nonsense! It's for local farmers and vets by invitation.
And I, last time I checked, am neither.
Herriot.
Thanks so much for coming out.
No trouble at all.
I understand you've a bull needs ringing? I do indeed.
This way.
Here he is.
This is Monty.
Only a year old, but he's a powerful fellow.
No, I can see that! We also need to move him later today, so if you could sedate him once you've got the ring in.
That shouldn't be a problem.
HE GRUMBLES I will need a couple more men to hold him, though.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA So, Hugh definitely said it was about a bull? That's what he said.
He's got a new bull that needs ringing.
And he specifically asked for James? He did.
It's about Helen.
It's got to be.
I reckon James' sins finally found him out.
Don't be daft.
James has done nothing wrong.
Tell that to Hugh Hulton.
I won't be a moment.
Just going to give him an injection of local anaesthetic.
Don't most vets just go ahead and punch the hole? They do CALF GRUMBLES I find this way works better.
HE GROWLS All right, almost done Easy now.
FLESH PUNCTURES Huh, look at that.
Didn't bother him at all.
It usually works.
Now, we just need the ring So have I missed very much while I've been away in France? Er, no, not that I can think of.
No great Darrowby dramas to report? No, just things chugging along, you know.
Have you seen much of Helen? No, not a great deal.
But, well, now and again, you know.
She seems well, does she? Yes Yes, far as I can tell.
Right, shall we get on with this, then? I'm going up there later, actually, to Heston Grange.
Oh, yes? HE GROWLS Whoa! Easy, Monty.
I say, James, are you all right? Come on, Monty now.
Calm down.
I think I'll live.
Glad to hear it.
THEY CHUCKLE DOGS BARK, YAP So what's the verdict? Any hope? Oh, there's always hope.
The adjustment nut's a bit stiff, but once I've worked it loose, I can raise the bob and she'll run right to time.
That's all it needs? Well, you have to know how far to raise it.
Oh, of course.
I don't doubt it takes a lot of expertise.
Oh, don't know about that.
The main thing to remember is lower is slower and left is lower.
Turn it to the right, it'll go faster.
That's it.
Ah, so you've a cricketer in the house.
Hm? Oh, we've two.
But it's Mr Farnon Senior who's playing in the match on Sunday.
To be honest, I've never understood the appeal.
I know, and I call myself a Yorkshireman! SHE CHUCKLES You'll be at the match, I take it? I will.
In fact, I'll be scoring.
Ah, so you're something of an expert? An amateur enthusiast, perhaps.
Anyway, I'll I'll let you get on.
Oh, and thanks for the tea.
Mm-hm.
What time did Hugh say he'd be up? 11 o'clock.
And he just said it where about the lease? He did.
So d'you think he wants to sell? Is that what he's coming to tell us? You know as much as I do.
What if he's decided not to renew the lease because of what happened between me and him? Then I'd say you were right not to marry him.
PHONE RINGS Darrowby, 2-2-9-7.
I'm sorry, I can barely hear you.
Ah, Mrs Pumphrey! Hello, is everything all right? Mr Farnon? No, I see.
Well of course, if it's a matter of "great delicacy".
I'll tell him now.
That was Mrs Pumphrey.
She asked if you could go up to the manor.
Doesn't she want Tricki's Uncle Herriot? Apparently not.
She said the matter requires the utmost discretion.
Intriguing.
Mm-hm! "The utmost discretion"? What's all that about? I've no idea - she said she'll only discuss it with Siegfried In person.
Hm! So, spill the beans.
What happened at Hulton Hall? Not a great deal.
What, Hugh didn't challenge you to a duel for Helen's hand? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but, no.
Well, has he seen her yet? Er, no, he said he was going up later today.
And that doesn't bother you? Of course not.
Why should it? No reason.
Where are you off to? Nowhere.
I just, erm I need run an errand.
Oh.
He's here! He's here.
Hullo there.
How do.
You got back all right, then? I did.
Yes.
Thank you.
Can I make you a cup of tea? Er, no, no, thanks.
I can't stay long.
You said you wanted to speak to us about the lease? Yes, yes, that's right.
Er Ah, here we go.
I intend to renew the lease on the farm for the agreed period of 20 years, as per our existing contract, but with a couple of additional stipulations.
The lawyers have added Helen's and Jenny's names and specified that they'll inherit the lease on the same terms.
That's assuming that they want to continue farming.
That's wonderful.
Thank you.
Thank you, Hugh.
It's very good of you.
Not at all, it'ssomething that should have been done years ago, but erm Well, it didn't really seem necessary before.
Er Anyway, I think that just about covers it.
I don't want to take up too much of your time, but there's something I'd like to show you, back at the farm.
I don't understand.
Consider it a replacement, or apology, if you like, for the difficulties with the sale of your last bull.
Hugh,, this is too much We can't accept this.
Please, Mr Alderson.
It would mean a great deal.
He's good breeding stock, excellent condition Ah, well even so I would really like to make amends.
Dad, why don't we think about it, eh? That's all I ask.
Just keep him here for now and let me know what you decide.
Right.
All right, then.
Excellent.
Right, better get on.
Hugh.
Do you have to rush straight off? Afraid so.
Estate business has rather piled up while I've been away.
No doubt see you at the cricket on Sunday.
You will.
Jolly good.
Thank you so much for coming.
Not at all, I understand Tricki has been rather distressed? He's not himself at all.
Is he off his food? Feeling lethargic? Oh, no, no, there's no problem in that department.
In fact, if anything, his appetite's more robust than ever.
No, it's just, erm He's become .
.
increasingly .
.
amorous towards things.
It's quite unsettling.
In the end, I had to take his cushion away.
HE SNEEZES I see Well, let's have a look at him, shall we? You know, Mrs Pumphrey, the behaviour you're describing, is perfectly normal.
Tricki's a healthy animal in the prime of life.
And, as such, he's experiencing some very naturalurges.
Yes, but he's just a baby! He's never shown the slightest bit of interest in .
.
that sort of thing.
Well, it's a testament to the excellent level of care he's been receiving.
His weight's gone down, his exercise has gone up.
He's obviously feeling a great deal livelier in every department.
You know, Francois did say that on one of their outings, he seemed intent on getting into Mr Handshaw's yard.
And does Mr Handshaw own a dog at all? Oh, yes, a terrier.
Named Bella, I believe.
Well, that would certainly explain it.
Less lethargic, more lothario.
So what can be done to discourage it? I'm afraid the heart wants what it wants, which, in Tricki's case, would seem to be Bella.
Oh, dear.
There is one effective course of action.
It's a fairly simple procedure Oh, no, no, no, no, Mr Farnon, no.
Can't you just give him a calming draught of some sort? I'm sorry, Mrs Pumphrey.
He'll have to be fixed.
If not, Tricki will simply continue his pursuit until he succeeds.
HE WHINES SOFTLY Hello, James.
Hello, Jenny.
Hello, Scruff.
Wait till you see what Hugh Hulton's brought us.
Have you ever seen anything like it? And he'll be worth a fortune in stud fees.
But Hugh won't accept a penny for him, says it's an apology because he wants to move forward with a clean slate.
Jenny, run and put the kettle on.
Dad'll be wanting a brew and I'm sure James'd like one.
Fine.
A pedigree bull.
Quite the gift.
I know.
It were the last thing we expected.
We haven't said we'll take him yet.
Dad thinks it's far too much, but even so And there you were, worried he might not even renew the lease.
I know, that's all sorted now too.
He's even added mine and Jenny's names, so it'll be ours to inherit.
Right.
That's very decent of him.
Now, then Mr Alderson.
What do you reckon? He's a fine specimen.
He is that.
Any luck with Reg Dutton, dad? Nah, he's still over in Listondale.
Dad's a player down for match on Sunday.
Oh, yes? And with Hugh back, they'll be really up against it.
Hugh's on the opposing team? He's captain.
Not to mention the star player.
He's the main reason they always win.
Er, not always.
Though Hugh is a good bowler, there's no denying it.
You know, Mr Alderson, if you need an extra man, I'd be happy to help out.
I didn't know you played.
Yes, well, now and again Oh, aye.
You reckon you're up to it, do you, lad? Absolutely.
Right.
You're in.
I'm really not much of a cricketer, but I guess if it's just a friendly match, it's not too much to worry about.
Friendly? James, I would not be exaggerating to say that this is the most important game in the cricketing calendar.
Once a year, the Darrowby 11 goes up against the might of Hulton Hall's invited gentlemen, playing for the honour of Darrowby.
And get annihilated.
That's hardly the point.
It's really quite the event, James.
Mrs Pumphrey holds it on her own private ground.
Sorry, she has a cricket pitch? Ground, yes, down beyond the orchard.
The old dear's completely cricket-mad.
So, when you say you're "not much of a cricketer"? Well, football's more my game.
But you have played? Once or twice, probably just once.
Oh, dear.
Well, I had no idea it was so important.
Oh, I'd say it's important! For a Yorkshireman, it goes King, God, Cricket.
I mean, if you get this wrong, they'll string you up in the town square.
Oh, fiddlesticks! James is fast and he's fit.
All right, it's not his game, but with a bit of coaching, he'll do perfectly well.
Quite right.
We'll soon whip you into shape, lad.
So, we've a day and a half.
That's what, 14, 15 hours of sunlight? Now, when you played before, would you say you were more of a batsman or a bowler? Well, neither really.
It was on the beach at Troon and it was probably more what you would call French cricket.
COLLECTIVE INHALE But it can't be any tougher than football.
At least in cricket, no-one tackles you.
You haven't had a cricket ball coming at you at 80 mph.
Seriously, James, one of those could kill you.
Right, follow me.
Jess, come on, give that, the boys need it for the cricket.
Thank you.
Right, come on.
Right, James.
Take your guard.
Remember, middle and leg, head over the ball, straight back.
Weight on the front foot And nice easy lob You need to maintain your guard.
How's he getting on? Try again You could give your brother a hand.
Yes, and he could apologise for treating me like a fool.
But I don't see that happening any time soon either.
And James, please, try to concentrate! I! Right, once more, take your guard, middle and leg Oh, for the love of God.
James, pass it here.
Right, don't even think about hitting it, just think about blocking it.
Blocking it? You just need to get behind the ball and stop it, all right? Come on.
As long as it doesn't hit your leg or the wicket, you'll stay in.
Well, there's a little more to it, than that No, there isn't, not for James.
But, as ever, you're making everything 10,000 times more complicated than it has to be He needs to know what he should be doing No, he needs you to stop confusing him with pointless stuff.
Just let the man breathe and he'll work it out for himself.
James.
Here, give it a try.
Right, that's it, just relax, all you need to do is block it.
It worked! Course it did.
Now, just remember the cardinal rule - never step away from your stumps.
Well, at least he's making himself useful.
Despite the injured air.
He feels you still owe him an apology.
Utter nonsense.
PHONE RINGS So, you played a lot of cricket at school, then, did you, Triss? Yes, fair bit.
Captain of the first 11, weren't you? Darrowby, 2-2-9-7.
Yes, we had a pretty strong team at the prep school.
Even won the inter-school cup three years in a row.
I didn't know that.
No? We actually set a new record for the Under 12s.
The old man came to every match.
Pa used to watch you play? He'd drive up in the mornings and we'd make a day of it.
You know how he loved cricket.
Yes.
Yes, I suppose he did.
Mr Farnon, Mrs Pumphrey.
She says she's in dire need of your assistance.
Mrs Pumphrey, what can I do for you? The workmen were putting up the tea tent for tomorrow, you see, and Francois was clearly distracted.
And, erm, poor Tricki, I mean, he dashed through the main gate and just ran and ran So Tricki is missing? Foot to the bridge of the ball, James! Well, no, not, not exactly.
He was, erm He was heading in the direction of Mr Handshaw's yard.
Ah.
And I really can't ask Francois No, of course.
Er, leaveleave it with me, Mrs Pumphrey, you've nothing to worry about.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Mr Farnon, when you see Tricki, could you pretend that you just happened to be passing? He's terribly private, I would hate for him to be embarrassed.
I understand.
Of course.
Aye, he's a determined little bugger.
Well, as I say, Mrs Pumphrey did want me to pass on her sincere apologies.
Not to worry.
It's not like he's some stray.
A litter or two of pups wouldn't be the end of the world.
Come on, then, young Tricki Woo, let's put you back where you belong, shall we? See you at the match tomorrow, Mr Handshaw.
Your brother still not playing? I'm afraid not.
That's a damned shame.
Might've given us a fighting chance.
Well, now he's been there once, he'll be much more inclined to visit again.
Right, seems we have no choice.
It's a very simple procedure.
In fact, I should be able to fit him in on Monday.
That soon? Well, all right.
If we must, we must.
But until then, you really need to keep him on a lead.
Oh, Tricki.
Will you ever forgive me? All set for match tomorrow, I hope? Absolutely.
Raring to go! Oh, that's the spirit.
And with James playing too, I really think this might be your year.
I think we're all here.
Ladies and gentlemen, It's my very great pleasure to welcome you all to Pumphrey Manor for this year's encounter between The Darrowby 11 and the Hulton Hall Chaps.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Has anyone seen Mr Rudd? We'll be playing a timed game, with the last 20 overs from five o'clock.
And, erm, I know we're all looking forward to seeing some excellent cricket.
TRICKI YAPS CROWD CHUCKLES So, erm, wi Without further ado, Mr Chapman? Yeah? If you would do the honours.
Certainly.
Well gentlemen, if you're ready, will you two captains accompany me to the crease with the coin toss, please? Thank you.
Mr Alderson Mr Alderson.
Young Rudds, where's your father? He can't come, Mr Alderson, the sheep got out and he needs to round 'em up.
You're kidding me? No, we're not.
We're not.
You're not.
So he's not coming? So we're a player short.
Well, go on.
You can't let them go out wi' ten men.
I can always play, Mr Alderson, if that would be any help? Help? Yeah, that'd be a big help.
Shame you didn't offer before.
Go and help your dad look for them sheep.
Welcome to the team.
Yes, thanks.
THEY LAUGH Afternoon.
Mr Hulton, would you like to make the call? Heads.
We're bowling, lads.
We're batting.
Well, we've got to do it sometime.
I'd rather do it second, but Herriot.
Hugh.
Right, remember what we did last year? Come on, boys, stay alert.
Go on, dad.
Look lively, Herriot.
Come on, lads! OK, play.
Knock to it, lads, come on! Unlucky, unlucky! Good shot Four! Excellent opener, Mr Hulton.
Looks like Mr Hulton means business.
Herriot.
Oh, good shot! Yours, Herriot! Get behind it.
Come on, James! Unlucky.
Just a single.
Keepers' end.
That's Hulton's 50.
Herriot.
James! Ball! Come on, lad! Eye on the ball, Mr Herriot.
123 .
.
for no wickets.
Not out.
Chin up.
Unlucky.
Next time, lads.
James is looking a bit hot.
Hugh's giving him a right runaround.
Helen.
How are you? Hello, Margot.
Yeah, I'm fine thank you.
This is my sister, Jenny.
Hello.
Are you enjoying the match? I will once we start getting some wickets.
Oh, yes, of course.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll see you in the tea tent.
What was all that about? Let's be having a wicket, Siegfried.
Hello there.
Hello.
I noticed you were rather tied to your post and thought you might be in need of refreshment.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you.
Your Mr Farnon doesn't seem to be having much luck.
Trouble is, he's overpitching.
When you say "overpitching"? He's landing the ball too close to the batsman, making it easier to drive.
Go on, James.
He's making it harder for the fielders.
So he does.
Are you all right, there, Herriot? Fine, thanks.
Well, you can't blame the bull this time.
HE FEIGNS LAUGHTER Would you mind changing that to 138? Mr Chapman.
Mm? I think that's enough.
Come on, Harry.
Ah, and that's the declaration.
Tea, everyone! What's happening? Hulton thinks he's got enough runs to win so he's declared.
He's stopping.
Well, that's good news for us, isn't it? Aye.
If you like charity.
I could certainly use a cup of tea.
Well, enjoy it while you can.
We're batting next.
And it won't be pretty.
Pork pie, you love that.
Oh, yum-yum-yum.
No? Or how about a tiny piece of iced bun? LOW GROWL Oh! Oh, Mr Farnon.
I hope you're not too disheartened.
Oh, not at all.
We've got a lot of strength in our batting.
That's the spirit.
And, you have your secret weapon.
Your brother, of course.
Yes.
He opened quite gloriously last year.
He did do very well.
Tricki, please.
He simply hates this horrid lead.
Well, it's only till the operation.
And what then? Can you promise me he'll still be my Tricki once he's been emasculated? Some dogs do present a slight change in temperament.
Yes, that's what I feared.
It just feels too cruel.
Why shouldn't he be allowed to express his true self and experience life to the full? And if Mr Handshaw were open to an arrangement Well, he certainly gave that impression.
Well, what would you do, Mr Farnon? Do you know what, Mrs Pumphrey? If I were you, I would forget the lead and just let Tricki do what comes naturally.
Life's just too short, isn't it? I knew you would understand.
Hugh, could I speak to you for a moment? Course.
I just want to say, how, how sorry I am.
For everything that happened.
That's water under the bridge.
No, I know, but I've not had chance to apologise properly.
In person.
I never wanted to hurt you.
We just weren't right for one another.
And I knew I wouldn't make you happy.
Well, I admit II was rather devastated.
But in a way, once the worst has happened, it's actually rather freeing.
And I think part of me always knew it wasn't right.
That we were good pals and I know you were fond of me, butwell, it was never a grand passion, really, was it? Well, no.
Maybe not.
Maybe one day we can be pals again.
I'd like that.
About the bull.
It was such a generous thing to do Did I overstep? Because that, that really wasn't my intention.
And me Dad knows you meant well.
We both do.
But we can't accept it.
Right.
Pay our own way.
Always have.
And you've no reason to feel you have to make amends.
Didn't realise Herriot was a cricketer.
Oh, he stepped in at the last minute.
Ah, keen to impress the Captain, no doubt.
We only started seeing each other quite recently.
I mean, there were nothing going on before.
Helen, really, I'm just glad you're happy.
Well, I'd better get back to the others.
Discuss strategy and all that.
Hello.
Oh, there you are I saw you chatting with Hugh.
Yeah.
We had a really good talk.
I feel like we cleared the air.
Right.
What's wrong? I just wondered why he was kissing you.
Kissing me? Oh, that were nothing.
Right.
He just wants to be friends.
And he's given you a pedigree bull to prove it.
Yeah, well, I've said I'm not accepting the bull.
You're not? Course not.
It were a kind gesture, but we're not in need of charity, however well meant.
Now, then Herriot.
I'll put you up to bat last with you being a novice.
Right.
Very good.
Yeah.
Let's hope that Hugh takes it easy with you.
Right, ladies and gentlemen, I think we are ready to resume.
Hulton's looking deadly serious.
But then I suppose he's a lot riding on this.
How d'you mean? Well, all those months he spent in France, too embarrassed to show his face.
He'll be wanting a win to restore his dignity.
Triss! Lovely shot, Tristan.
Cracking shot, Tristan! Go on, Triss.
Brilliant! Again.
CHEERING GROANING Nicely done.
Good running, lads.
Stay.
GROANING That's unlucky.
Now that's called a batting collapse.
It's more exciting than I'd anticipated.
We'll make a cricket convert of you yet.
You know, I walk Rock down by Copley Brook most evenings.
If you're ever out with Jess and want a bit of company.
Wellperhaps we'll see you down there.
Last over.
Doubt you'll be needed.
They need to get two wickets before you go in and Siegfried is looking strong.
Catch it.
Yes! Just four balls to face, Henry.
Good luck, Henry.
Come on, Henry.
Thanks, lads.
All the best, Henry.
Play.
GASPS I spoke too soon.
Right, Herriot, get padded up.
Henry's retiring hurt.
There's three balls left till the end of the game.
If they don't get you out, we'll draw.
And that's as good as a win.
Just do what you can.
All you have to do is stay in, old chap.
Remember what we practised.
Protect your wicket and guard your stumps.
Middle leg.
That'll do.
Go on, lad.
Three balls to come.
GROANING AND MURMURING Fine.
You all right, Jim? Well done, James.
Run.
It's gone for four.
Back this end, old chap.
Last ball of the match.
Just block it again, exactly the same as before, and Hugh'll be crying into his beer tonight.
Come on, Mr Herriot.
Come on, James.
Unlucky, batsman.
Hard luck, lad.
Thanks, Bert.
Funny that, almost looked like you deliberately stepped away from the wicket.
Why ever would I do that? I've absolutely no idea.
Hey.
Bad luck, Mr Herriot.
Nearly had a draw there.
Aye, still, well played, lads.
They were a tough side and no mistake.
You carried your bat.
Great achievement.
Both of you.
The old man would be proud.
That's, erm, very fine batting, young Farnon.
James didn't do too badly either.
Till he lost his nerve.
Dad! Oh, well, I'm only saying it to him.
Good try, Uncle Herriot.
Thank you, Mrs Pumphrey.
Well done, Triss.
Thanks, Helen.
Well done.
I don't think your dad's too happy.
Don't worry about him.
James, I just wanted to say .
.
well played.
You too.
I suppose the best team won.
Still, that took real grit.
Anyway, have a good evening.
Both of you.
So how does it feel? What? To have missed the most important ball of the match? Is that what you did? I felt I owed him a win.
I know.
And I love you for it.
You do? Yes, I suppose I do.
Thank you, George.
Ah.
To your very good health.
Cheers.
You know, I don't remember Pa ever visiting me at school.
No? He used to take me out on his rounds, though.
I was nine when I delivered my first lamb.
And you've never looked back.
No, I suppose I didn't.
I owe you an apology, Tristan.
For not telling you the truth about your results.
I genuinely believed I was acting in your best interests.
Right.
But I realise now, that I may have beenwrong.
Anyway, the money's there, if you decide you want to go back to college.
Equally, if you feel it's not for you, well, it should be your decision.
Thank you.
Here he is! "An hour to play and the last man in.
" I think he did very well.
How're the ribs? Bit sore, to be honest.
Oh, you poor old thing.
No Tricki Woo, Mrs Pumphrey? Tricki.
Yes, Tricki has some personal business to attend to.
Think it's time I made my move.
Well played, darling.
Hugh and Margot? Wait, are they? I think you've missed your chance, Triss.
Bad luck, old chap.
Well, she wasn't really my type anyway.
Since when? No, it's true, she wasa bit too tall.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
She's a woman, not a pony.
Oh, height is a consideration.
You should be so lucky.
Nothing wrong with tall.
I'm a catch.
You're a liability.
THEY LAUGH SNORTING
Thank you.
Mrs Hall? Look at this, Mrs Hall.
There's a hole in my cricket flannels.
So there is.
I can't wear them on Sunday with a hole.
What would Mrs Pumphrey say? It's a good thing the Lord invented darning then.
Right.
Thank you.
I've just been speaking to Richard Alderson.
Oh, aye? Apparently, we're still a man short for Sunday.
It's bad enough that we've lost our top batsman.
Tristan, I know you're still unhappy with me, but this - this is cricket.
The annual Darrowby match at Pumphrey Manor.
You're not just punishing me, you know, you're letting down the whole team.
Look, I told you - I can't play for the Darrowby 11 any more.
Oh, that's just nonsense! It's for local farmers and vets by invitation.
And I, last time I checked, am neither.
Herriot.
Thanks so much for coming out.
No trouble at all.
I understand you've a bull needs ringing? I do indeed.
This way.
Here he is.
This is Monty.
Only a year old, but he's a powerful fellow.
No, I can see that! We also need to move him later today, so if you could sedate him once you've got the ring in.
That shouldn't be a problem.
HE GRUMBLES I will need a couple more men to hold him, though.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA So, Hugh definitely said it was about a bull? That's what he said.
He's got a new bull that needs ringing.
And he specifically asked for James? He did.
It's about Helen.
It's got to be.
I reckon James' sins finally found him out.
Don't be daft.
James has done nothing wrong.
Tell that to Hugh Hulton.
I won't be a moment.
Just going to give him an injection of local anaesthetic.
Don't most vets just go ahead and punch the hole? They do CALF GRUMBLES I find this way works better.
HE GROWLS All right, almost done Easy now.
FLESH PUNCTURES Huh, look at that.
Didn't bother him at all.
It usually works.
Now, we just need the ring So have I missed very much while I've been away in France? Er, no, not that I can think of.
No great Darrowby dramas to report? No, just things chugging along, you know.
Have you seen much of Helen? No, not a great deal.
But, well, now and again, you know.
She seems well, does she? Yes Yes, far as I can tell.
Right, shall we get on with this, then? I'm going up there later, actually, to Heston Grange.
Oh, yes? HE GROWLS Whoa! Easy, Monty.
I say, James, are you all right? Come on, Monty now.
Calm down.
I think I'll live.
Glad to hear it.
THEY CHUCKLE DOGS BARK, YAP So what's the verdict? Any hope? Oh, there's always hope.
The adjustment nut's a bit stiff, but once I've worked it loose, I can raise the bob and she'll run right to time.
That's all it needs? Well, you have to know how far to raise it.
Oh, of course.
I don't doubt it takes a lot of expertise.
Oh, don't know about that.
The main thing to remember is lower is slower and left is lower.
Turn it to the right, it'll go faster.
That's it.
Ah, so you've a cricketer in the house.
Hm? Oh, we've two.
But it's Mr Farnon Senior who's playing in the match on Sunday.
To be honest, I've never understood the appeal.
I know, and I call myself a Yorkshireman! SHE CHUCKLES You'll be at the match, I take it? I will.
In fact, I'll be scoring.
Ah, so you're something of an expert? An amateur enthusiast, perhaps.
Anyway, I'll I'll let you get on.
Oh, and thanks for the tea.
Mm-hm.
What time did Hugh say he'd be up? 11 o'clock.
And he just said it where about the lease? He did.
So d'you think he wants to sell? Is that what he's coming to tell us? You know as much as I do.
What if he's decided not to renew the lease because of what happened between me and him? Then I'd say you were right not to marry him.
PHONE RINGS Darrowby, 2-2-9-7.
I'm sorry, I can barely hear you.
Ah, Mrs Pumphrey! Hello, is everything all right? Mr Farnon? No, I see.
Well of course, if it's a matter of "great delicacy".
I'll tell him now.
That was Mrs Pumphrey.
She asked if you could go up to the manor.
Doesn't she want Tricki's Uncle Herriot? Apparently not.
She said the matter requires the utmost discretion.
Intriguing.
Mm-hm! "The utmost discretion"? What's all that about? I've no idea - she said she'll only discuss it with Siegfried In person.
Hm! So, spill the beans.
What happened at Hulton Hall? Not a great deal.
What, Hugh didn't challenge you to a duel for Helen's hand? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but, no.
Well, has he seen her yet? Er, no, he said he was going up later today.
And that doesn't bother you? Of course not.
Why should it? No reason.
Where are you off to? Nowhere.
I just, erm I need run an errand.
Oh.
He's here! He's here.
Hullo there.
How do.
You got back all right, then? I did.
Yes.
Thank you.
Can I make you a cup of tea? Er, no, no, thanks.
I can't stay long.
You said you wanted to speak to us about the lease? Yes, yes, that's right.
Er Ah, here we go.
I intend to renew the lease on the farm for the agreed period of 20 years, as per our existing contract, but with a couple of additional stipulations.
The lawyers have added Helen's and Jenny's names and specified that they'll inherit the lease on the same terms.
That's assuming that they want to continue farming.
That's wonderful.
Thank you.
Thank you, Hugh.
It's very good of you.
Not at all, it'ssomething that should have been done years ago, but erm Well, it didn't really seem necessary before.
Er Anyway, I think that just about covers it.
I don't want to take up too much of your time, but there's something I'd like to show you, back at the farm.
I don't understand.
Consider it a replacement, or apology, if you like, for the difficulties with the sale of your last bull.
Hugh,, this is too much We can't accept this.
Please, Mr Alderson.
It would mean a great deal.
He's good breeding stock, excellent condition Ah, well even so I would really like to make amends.
Dad, why don't we think about it, eh? That's all I ask.
Just keep him here for now and let me know what you decide.
Right.
All right, then.
Excellent.
Right, better get on.
Hugh.
Do you have to rush straight off? Afraid so.
Estate business has rather piled up while I've been away.
No doubt see you at the cricket on Sunday.
You will.
Jolly good.
Thank you so much for coming.
Not at all, I understand Tricki has been rather distressed? He's not himself at all.
Is he off his food? Feeling lethargic? Oh, no, no, there's no problem in that department.
In fact, if anything, his appetite's more robust than ever.
No, it's just, erm He's become .
.
increasingly .
.
amorous towards things.
It's quite unsettling.
In the end, I had to take his cushion away.
HE SNEEZES I see Well, let's have a look at him, shall we? You know, Mrs Pumphrey, the behaviour you're describing, is perfectly normal.
Tricki's a healthy animal in the prime of life.
And, as such, he's experiencing some very naturalurges.
Yes, but he's just a baby! He's never shown the slightest bit of interest in .
.
that sort of thing.
Well, it's a testament to the excellent level of care he's been receiving.
His weight's gone down, his exercise has gone up.
He's obviously feeling a great deal livelier in every department.
You know, Francois did say that on one of their outings, he seemed intent on getting into Mr Handshaw's yard.
And does Mr Handshaw own a dog at all? Oh, yes, a terrier.
Named Bella, I believe.
Well, that would certainly explain it.
Less lethargic, more lothario.
So what can be done to discourage it? I'm afraid the heart wants what it wants, which, in Tricki's case, would seem to be Bella.
Oh, dear.
There is one effective course of action.
It's a fairly simple procedure Oh, no, no, no, no, Mr Farnon, no.
Can't you just give him a calming draught of some sort? I'm sorry, Mrs Pumphrey.
He'll have to be fixed.
If not, Tricki will simply continue his pursuit until he succeeds.
HE WHINES SOFTLY Hello, James.
Hello, Jenny.
Hello, Scruff.
Wait till you see what Hugh Hulton's brought us.
Have you ever seen anything like it? And he'll be worth a fortune in stud fees.
But Hugh won't accept a penny for him, says it's an apology because he wants to move forward with a clean slate.
Jenny, run and put the kettle on.
Dad'll be wanting a brew and I'm sure James'd like one.
Fine.
A pedigree bull.
Quite the gift.
I know.
It were the last thing we expected.
We haven't said we'll take him yet.
Dad thinks it's far too much, but even so And there you were, worried he might not even renew the lease.
I know, that's all sorted now too.
He's even added mine and Jenny's names, so it'll be ours to inherit.
Right.
That's very decent of him.
Now, then Mr Alderson.
What do you reckon? He's a fine specimen.
He is that.
Any luck with Reg Dutton, dad? Nah, he's still over in Listondale.
Dad's a player down for match on Sunday.
Oh, yes? And with Hugh back, they'll be really up against it.
Hugh's on the opposing team? He's captain.
Not to mention the star player.
He's the main reason they always win.
Er, not always.
Though Hugh is a good bowler, there's no denying it.
You know, Mr Alderson, if you need an extra man, I'd be happy to help out.
I didn't know you played.
Yes, well, now and again Oh, aye.
You reckon you're up to it, do you, lad? Absolutely.
Right.
You're in.
I'm really not much of a cricketer, but I guess if it's just a friendly match, it's not too much to worry about.
Friendly? James, I would not be exaggerating to say that this is the most important game in the cricketing calendar.
Once a year, the Darrowby 11 goes up against the might of Hulton Hall's invited gentlemen, playing for the honour of Darrowby.
And get annihilated.
That's hardly the point.
It's really quite the event, James.
Mrs Pumphrey holds it on her own private ground.
Sorry, she has a cricket pitch? Ground, yes, down beyond the orchard.
The old dear's completely cricket-mad.
So, when you say you're "not much of a cricketer"? Well, football's more my game.
But you have played? Once or twice, probably just once.
Oh, dear.
Well, I had no idea it was so important.
Oh, I'd say it's important! For a Yorkshireman, it goes King, God, Cricket.
I mean, if you get this wrong, they'll string you up in the town square.
Oh, fiddlesticks! James is fast and he's fit.
All right, it's not his game, but with a bit of coaching, he'll do perfectly well.
Quite right.
We'll soon whip you into shape, lad.
So, we've a day and a half.
That's what, 14, 15 hours of sunlight? Now, when you played before, would you say you were more of a batsman or a bowler? Well, neither really.
It was on the beach at Troon and it was probably more what you would call French cricket.
COLLECTIVE INHALE But it can't be any tougher than football.
At least in cricket, no-one tackles you.
You haven't had a cricket ball coming at you at 80 mph.
Seriously, James, one of those could kill you.
Right, follow me.
Jess, come on, give that, the boys need it for the cricket.
Thank you.
Right, come on.
Right, James.
Take your guard.
Remember, middle and leg, head over the ball, straight back.
Weight on the front foot And nice easy lob You need to maintain your guard.
How's he getting on? Try again You could give your brother a hand.
Yes, and he could apologise for treating me like a fool.
But I don't see that happening any time soon either.
And James, please, try to concentrate! I! Right, once more, take your guard, middle and leg Oh, for the love of God.
James, pass it here.
Right, don't even think about hitting it, just think about blocking it.
Blocking it? You just need to get behind the ball and stop it, all right? Come on.
As long as it doesn't hit your leg or the wicket, you'll stay in.
Well, there's a little more to it, than that No, there isn't, not for James.
But, as ever, you're making everything 10,000 times more complicated than it has to be He needs to know what he should be doing No, he needs you to stop confusing him with pointless stuff.
Just let the man breathe and he'll work it out for himself.
James.
Here, give it a try.
Right, that's it, just relax, all you need to do is block it.
It worked! Course it did.
Now, just remember the cardinal rule - never step away from your stumps.
Well, at least he's making himself useful.
Despite the injured air.
He feels you still owe him an apology.
Utter nonsense.
PHONE RINGS So, you played a lot of cricket at school, then, did you, Triss? Yes, fair bit.
Captain of the first 11, weren't you? Darrowby, 2-2-9-7.
Yes, we had a pretty strong team at the prep school.
Even won the inter-school cup three years in a row.
I didn't know that.
No? We actually set a new record for the Under 12s.
The old man came to every match.
Pa used to watch you play? He'd drive up in the mornings and we'd make a day of it.
You know how he loved cricket.
Yes.
Yes, I suppose he did.
Mr Farnon, Mrs Pumphrey.
She says she's in dire need of your assistance.
Mrs Pumphrey, what can I do for you? The workmen were putting up the tea tent for tomorrow, you see, and Francois was clearly distracted.
And, erm, poor Tricki, I mean, he dashed through the main gate and just ran and ran So Tricki is missing? Foot to the bridge of the ball, James! Well, no, not, not exactly.
He was, erm He was heading in the direction of Mr Handshaw's yard.
Ah.
And I really can't ask Francois No, of course.
Er, leaveleave it with me, Mrs Pumphrey, you've nothing to worry about.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Mr Farnon, when you see Tricki, could you pretend that you just happened to be passing? He's terribly private, I would hate for him to be embarrassed.
I understand.
Of course.
Aye, he's a determined little bugger.
Well, as I say, Mrs Pumphrey did want me to pass on her sincere apologies.
Not to worry.
It's not like he's some stray.
A litter or two of pups wouldn't be the end of the world.
Come on, then, young Tricki Woo, let's put you back where you belong, shall we? See you at the match tomorrow, Mr Handshaw.
Your brother still not playing? I'm afraid not.
That's a damned shame.
Might've given us a fighting chance.
Well, now he's been there once, he'll be much more inclined to visit again.
Right, seems we have no choice.
It's a very simple procedure.
In fact, I should be able to fit him in on Monday.
That soon? Well, all right.
If we must, we must.
But until then, you really need to keep him on a lead.
Oh, Tricki.
Will you ever forgive me? All set for match tomorrow, I hope? Absolutely.
Raring to go! Oh, that's the spirit.
And with James playing too, I really think this might be your year.
I think we're all here.
Ladies and gentlemen, It's my very great pleasure to welcome you all to Pumphrey Manor for this year's encounter between The Darrowby 11 and the Hulton Hall Chaps.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Has anyone seen Mr Rudd? We'll be playing a timed game, with the last 20 overs from five o'clock.
And, erm, I know we're all looking forward to seeing some excellent cricket.
TRICKI YAPS CROWD CHUCKLES So, erm, wi Without further ado, Mr Chapman? Yeah? If you would do the honours.
Certainly.
Well gentlemen, if you're ready, will you two captains accompany me to the crease with the coin toss, please? Thank you.
Mr Alderson Mr Alderson.
Young Rudds, where's your father? He can't come, Mr Alderson, the sheep got out and he needs to round 'em up.
You're kidding me? No, we're not.
We're not.
You're not.
So he's not coming? So we're a player short.
Well, go on.
You can't let them go out wi' ten men.
I can always play, Mr Alderson, if that would be any help? Help? Yeah, that'd be a big help.
Shame you didn't offer before.
Go and help your dad look for them sheep.
Welcome to the team.
Yes, thanks.
THEY LAUGH Afternoon.
Mr Hulton, would you like to make the call? Heads.
We're bowling, lads.
We're batting.
Well, we've got to do it sometime.
I'd rather do it second, but Herriot.
Hugh.
Right, remember what we did last year? Come on, boys, stay alert.
Go on, dad.
Look lively, Herriot.
Come on, lads! OK, play.
Knock to it, lads, come on! Unlucky, unlucky! Good shot Four! Excellent opener, Mr Hulton.
Looks like Mr Hulton means business.
Herriot.
Oh, good shot! Yours, Herriot! Get behind it.
Come on, James! Unlucky.
Just a single.
Keepers' end.
That's Hulton's 50.
Herriot.
James! Ball! Come on, lad! Eye on the ball, Mr Herriot.
123 .
.
for no wickets.
Not out.
Chin up.
Unlucky.
Next time, lads.
James is looking a bit hot.
Hugh's giving him a right runaround.
Helen.
How are you? Hello, Margot.
Yeah, I'm fine thank you.
This is my sister, Jenny.
Hello.
Are you enjoying the match? I will once we start getting some wickets.
Oh, yes, of course.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll see you in the tea tent.
What was all that about? Let's be having a wicket, Siegfried.
Hello there.
Hello.
I noticed you were rather tied to your post and thought you might be in need of refreshment.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Thank you.
Your Mr Farnon doesn't seem to be having much luck.
Trouble is, he's overpitching.
When you say "overpitching"? He's landing the ball too close to the batsman, making it easier to drive.
Go on, James.
He's making it harder for the fielders.
So he does.
Are you all right, there, Herriot? Fine, thanks.
Well, you can't blame the bull this time.
HE FEIGNS LAUGHTER Would you mind changing that to 138? Mr Chapman.
Mm? I think that's enough.
Come on, Harry.
Ah, and that's the declaration.
Tea, everyone! What's happening? Hulton thinks he's got enough runs to win so he's declared.
He's stopping.
Well, that's good news for us, isn't it? Aye.
If you like charity.
I could certainly use a cup of tea.
Well, enjoy it while you can.
We're batting next.
And it won't be pretty.
Pork pie, you love that.
Oh, yum-yum-yum.
No? Or how about a tiny piece of iced bun? LOW GROWL Oh! Oh, Mr Farnon.
I hope you're not too disheartened.
Oh, not at all.
We've got a lot of strength in our batting.
That's the spirit.
And, you have your secret weapon.
Your brother, of course.
Yes.
He opened quite gloriously last year.
He did do very well.
Tricki, please.
He simply hates this horrid lead.
Well, it's only till the operation.
And what then? Can you promise me he'll still be my Tricki once he's been emasculated? Some dogs do present a slight change in temperament.
Yes, that's what I feared.
It just feels too cruel.
Why shouldn't he be allowed to express his true self and experience life to the full? And if Mr Handshaw were open to an arrangement Well, he certainly gave that impression.
Well, what would you do, Mr Farnon? Do you know what, Mrs Pumphrey? If I were you, I would forget the lead and just let Tricki do what comes naturally.
Life's just too short, isn't it? I knew you would understand.
Hugh, could I speak to you for a moment? Course.
I just want to say, how, how sorry I am.
For everything that happened.
That's water under the bridge.
No, I know, but I've not had chance to apologise properly.
In person.
I never wanted to hurt you.
We just weren't right for one another.
And I knew I wouldn't make you happy.
Well, I admit II was rather devastated.
But in a way, once the worst has happened, it's actually rather freeing.
And I think part of me always knew it wasn't right.
That we were good pals and I know you were fond of me, butwell, it was never a grand passion, really, was it? Well, no.
Maybe not.
Maybe one day we can be pals again.
I'd like that.
About the bull.
It was such a generous thing to do Did I overstep? Because that, that really wasn't my intention.
And me Dad knows you meant well.
We both do.
But we can't accept it.
Right.
Pay our own way.
Always have.
And you've no reason to feel you have to make amends.
Didn't realise Herriot was a cricketer.
Oh, he stepped in at the last minute.
Ah, keen to impress the Captain, no doubt.
We only started seeing each other quite recently.
I mean, there were nothing going on before.
Helen, really, I'm just glad you're happy.
Well, I'd better get back to the others.
Discuss strategy and all that.
Hello.
Oh, there you are I saw you chatting with Hugh.
Yeah.
We had a really good talk.
I feel like we cleared the air.
Right.
What's wrong? I just wondered why he was kissing you.
Kissing me? Oh, that were nothing.
Right.
He just wants to be friends.
And he's given you a pedigree bull to prove it.
Yeah, well, I've said I'm not accepting the bull.
You're not? Course not.
It were a kind gesture, but we're not in need of charity, however well meant.
Now, then Herriot.
I'll put you up to bat last with you being a novice.
Right.
Very good.
Yeah.
Let's hope that Hugh takes it easy with you.
Right, ladies and gentlemen, I think we are ready to resume.
Hulton's looking deadly serious.
But then I suppose he's a lot riding on this.
How d'you mean? Well, all those months he spent in France, too embarrassed to show his face.
He'll be wanting a win to restore his dignity.
Triss! Lovely shot, Tristan.
Cracking shot, Tristan! Go on, Triss.
Brilliant! Again.
CHEERING GROANING Nicely done.
Good running, lads.
Stay.
GROANING That's unlucky.
Now that's called a batting collapse.
It's more exciting than I'd anticipated.
We'll make a cricket convert of you yet.
You know, I walk Rock down by Copley Brook most evenings.
If you're ever out with Jess and want a bit of company.
Wellperhaps we'll see you down there.
Last over.
Doubt you'll be needed.
They need to get two wickets before you go in and Siegfried is looking strong.
Catch it.
Yes! Just four balls to face, Henry.
Good luck, Henry.
Come on, Henry.
Thanks, lads.
All the best, Henry.
Play.
GASPS I spoke too soon.
Right, Herriot, get padded up.
Henry's retiring hurt.
There's three balls left till the end of the game.
If they don't get you out, we'll draw.
And that's as good as a win.
Just do what you can.
All you have to do is stay in, old chap.
Remember what we practised.
Protect your wicket and guard your stumps.
Middle leg.
That'll do.
Go on, lad.
Three balls to come.
GROANING AND MURMURING Fine.
You all right, Jim? Well done, James.
Run.
It's gone for four.
Back this end, old chap.
Last ball of the match.
Just block it again, exactly the same as before, and Hugh'll be crying into his beer tonight.
Come on, Mr Herriot.
Come on, James.
Unlucky, batsman.
Hard luck, lad.
Thanks, Bert.
Funny that, almost looked like you deliberately stepped away from the wicket.
Why ever would I do that? I've absolutely no idea.
Hey.
Bad luck, Mr Herriot.
Nearly had a draw there.
Aye, still, well played, lads.
They were a tough side and no mistake.
You carried your bat.
Great achievement.
Both of you.
The old man would be proud.
That's, erm, very fine batting, young Farnon.
James didn't do too badly either.
Till he lost his nerve.
Dad! Oh, well, I'm only saying it to him.
Good try, Uncle Herriot.
Thank you, Mrs Pumphrey.
Well done, Triss.
Thanks, Helen.
Well done.
I don't think your dad's too happy.
Don't worry about him.
James, I just wanted to say .
.
well played.
You too.
I suppose the best team won.
Still, that took real grit.
Anyway, have a good evening.
Both of you.
So how does it feel? What? To have missed the most important ball of the match? Is that what you did? I felt I owed him a win.
I know.
And I love you for it.
You do? Yes, I suppose I do.
Thank you, George.
Ah.
To your very good health.
Cheers.
You know, I don't remember Pa ever visiting me at school.
No? He used to take me out on his rounds, though.
I was nine when I delivered my first lamb.
And you've never looked back.
No, I suppose I didn't.
I owe you an apology, Tristan.
For not telling you the truth about your results.
I genuinely believed I was acting in your best interests.
Right.
But I realise now, that I may have beenwrong.
Anyway, the money's there, if you decide you want to go back to college.
Equally, if you feel it's not for you, well, it should be your decision.
Thank you.
Here he is! "An hour to play and the last man in.
" I think he did very well.
How're the ribs? Bit sore, to be honest.
Oh, you poor old thing.
No Tricki Woo, Mrs Pumphrey? Tricki.
Yes, Tricki has some personal business to attend to.
Think it's time I made my move.
Well played, darling.
Hugh and Margot? Wait, are they? I think you've missed your chance, Triss.
Bad luck, old chap.
Well, she wasn't really my type anyway.
Since when? No, it's true, she wasa bit too tall.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
She's a woman, not a pony.
Oh, height is a consideration.
You should be so lucky.
Nothing wrong with tall.
I'm a catch.
You're a liability.
THEY LAUGH SNORTING