Arab Maklum (2023) s02e05 Episode Script

1
Sasa?
Currently, the police
are identifying the victims.
That's all the breaking news for now.
Aba, don't just stand there!
Call Kim right now!
Come on, Kim. Pick up.
Pick up what, Auntie?
Kim, did you leave Sasa at the hospital?
Huh? Hospital?
-Assalamu alaikum.
-Waalaikumsalam.
Sa, how are you? Are you okay?
No, I'm fine.
But you're okay, right, Sa?
Sa, answer me! Why are you silent?
You had an accident, right?
What? An accident?
You didn't use any protection, Sa?
I already taught you!
Who's the guy? Tell me!
Hey, not that kind!
Earlier on the news,
there was a motorcycle accident.
Two girls.
Oh no. What a pity.
Luckily, we took a car earlier.
Huh? You took a car?
Yeah.
Geez, Aba! They took a car.
Geez. What's wrong with you, Uncle?
Be careful with your words, Uncle.
We don't want to be falsely accused
of having had an accident.
Remember, Uncle, slander is
crueler than construction.
HELLO BALI
I was so happy yesterday.
I was just at
the Ubud Thematic Market yesterday.
Bali really has a lot of places to go.
The markets are so beautiful.
Did you know that, Sasa?
It made me so excited!
Yesterday was very exciting, right?
The market was so crowded.
-Yes, it was.
-I was so excited to shop.
I was so happy yesterday!
It's called the Ubud Thematic Market.
I know that!
I already told everyone earlier.
Yeah, my friend knows I went there
with you yesterday, right?
Oh, dear Sasa.
Thank you so much.
Ya Allah, Sasa.
She was happy to hear my story earlier.
This is my new bestie!
-Thank God I'm not her bestie.
-Yeah.
-Sorry, ladies and gentlemen.
-Yes?
Who is "Bestie" anyway?
It feels like we're short one person.
This is the bestie that I mean.
-Yeah, I know. This is Mrs. Jenab.
-Yes.
-This is Syakila.
-You're right.
Which one of you is "Bestie"?
It's us. What's wrong
with you, Mr. Driver?
-"Bestie" means a really close friend.
-Yeah, that's right!
Astagfirullahaladzim.
So "bestie" is Arabic, then?
Geez!
Burhan? Is "Bestie" spelled
with an e that goes like
"bestieeee" or just "bestie"?
You want me to slap you with a slipper?
Why are we arguing about besties?
You know my bestie over there,
Mahmud, is sick at the villa.
-He is sick.
-Poor him.
-Mahmud?
-Yeah.
Calm down.
Mahmud has his wife.
-He got Laela.
-That's right.
At the villa, he must be
being taken care of,
having his head wiped
and his forehead kissed.
-He's all good.
-Is he?
Oh, they're being romantic now?
Thank you, Mi.
Thank Vanya who invited you
to play in the pool.
Huh? Are you happy?
Feeling joyful?
No need to discuss that again, Mi.
What do you mean, "no need to discuss it"?
You're always pretending.
You said you wanted to take your wife out,
but in the end, it was just
something cheap and a bus ride.
Fortunately, my waist
was not broken, Mahmud.
Aseng is the one who organized it all.
All right, all right. Keep quiet, okay?
You and Aseng are the same.
You both are stingy.
That's why you shouldn't play
in the water.
Always playing in the water
like a tadpole.
Now you're shivering all over.
Maybe it's because of the weather.
Now you're blaming the weather?
Are you going to blame God
for the weather?
That's not what I mean.
Just be quiet now. Don't just answer
like you're on a quiz show!
Just eat.
-Now we're all gathered.
-Yep.
Listen, I'm going to give a brief.
-Okay?
-Okay, ready.
-Wait a moment, Uncle Aseng.
-Yes?
Kimberly hasn't arrived yet.
Where's Kimberly?
That's right, she hasn't come yet.
Well, I got a bit cut off yesterday
when I was telling my story
Astagfirullahaladzim!
Gosh, why are you complaining to God?
What's the matter with you guys?
You don't even need money,
you only need ears to listen to my story.
-Why are you guys like this?
-Look! She has arrived!
Guys! Sorry, I'm late.
It's okay, what matters
is that you're here now.
I'm not okay.
Who's this? Why is she looking like this?
What a strange human.
You're right. Her head is two-toned.
Your body is tiny
but it's been scribbled on.
Is your house near a kindergarten?
Geez! Why am I being attacked
when I just came here?
Who is this, Sa? Is this your relative?
Is he your uncle or something?
He is my neighbor.
Oh, just a neighbor, huh?
Why did you invite him then?
Geez, his mouth is annoying!
Whoa, whoa.
Relax. Anyone can be invited.
-The important thing is that they pay.
-That's right.
Is there anyone who hasn't paid yet?
-I've paid.
-He hasn't paid yet.
Hey.
Geez, you haven't paid yet, you pauper!
Don't bother answering.
Those who have paid
and those who haven't paid yet,
please listen to me.
I've been saying this
for a while, all right?
Those who haven't paid yet,
go listen from the corner over there.
Go over there.
I'll punch you if you keep this up, Id.
But you need to go over there.
Who are you with anyway?
-Well, as we all know
-Yes?
this natural activity is very extreme.
-Oh my.
-Robert!
Robert?
Stop moving! You've been going back
and forth, and it's making me dizzy.
All right, Koh. The car is just fine.
But, Seng, is it dangerous or not?
Yes.
Relax, my friend.
Everything is guaranteed to be safe, okay?
So there's no need to worry.
No need to be afraid.
Most importantly,
there is one thing to remember.
Don't panic!
Ya Allah, don't panic, Seng.
Just stay calm.
-I'm not panicking, though.
-Yes, you are.
I was just shocked.
-Id.
-Yeah?
Look at the kid next to me.
She looks scared.
Geez! She is scared.
I'm happy, you dumbass!
This is called an extreme sport, you know.
Your eyebrows look panicked.
Only the brave can do this.
Bli, are there any more extreme
places than here?
Yes, there will be up ahead.
-That's great, Bli!
-Extreme?
Let's do something more extreme, Bli!
-Which extreme?
-Let's go, Bli!
I want to go home!
This is so fun!
Help, Han!
Just be brave like me!
-We keep going on!
-I'm scared, Han!
We're gonna crash, Han!
-Huh?
-Id? Id?
Your friend passed out, huh?
-His friend passed out. Scared, huh?
-He's not! Nah, my friend is acting.
-Aseng!
-Huh?
You are so noisy! You're just like a kid!
You keep screaming!
I'll send you home, all right?
You'd better go home!
No I'm just
-I'm so annoyed.
-I'm singing opera, you know!
I'm so annoyed!
Stop being so scared and stop panicking!
I swear, he's just acting, Bli.
Id? Id? Come on, Id.
Is that all you've got, huh?
I'm the one who's embarrassed, Id.
It's safe.
Calm down, Koh Aseng. It's fine.
-Is it really safe?
-Yes.
-Oh, okay then.
-Hold on, okay?
-Okay, okay. All right.
-It's safe now. All good.
-I'm so done!
-There's more!
Yeah!
Wow, a public figure, huh?
Nowadays, if it's not about divorce,
it's about someone running for office.
Divorce, elections. Divorce, elections.
I'm getting bored of social media.
They're still a while away, huh?
I'll just sleep then.
Bert, let's go home. Hurry.
How fast you are!
It's only been a few minutes.
-Let's just go.
-Koh.
Why do you look so pale?
I'd rather be pale
than be like Said who fainted!
Han, come on, hurry up.
You are not helping me!
He's also up to acting too, geez!
-I'm serious
-Serious my foot! You just punched me.
Move aside. Move.
My goodness, you could have gone that way!
Seng.
Why are we being told to go home?
The budget has run out.
You're really greedy!
You just annoy people!
What else do you do?
You know Mahmud is sick at the villa,
so let's hurry back.
That's just your excuse!
You're so greedy! You just annoy people!
I'm not yet done with other activities.
You're just making me unsatisfied.
Next time, don't bring Arabs
to something like this, Koh.
They're used to the desert, right?
You know, if sand is exposed
to water, it'll scatter!
Although the water itself is calm,
it's not a big deal.
Hey, Uncle Aseng.
Why are we going back so soon?
I was just about to ride an ATV.
All right, go ahead and ride the ATV then.
Let's go back now.
Huh?
Why am I doing it alone?
What's wrong with you, dumbass?
What's wrong with him?
Sa, isn't it fun?
-Yeah, it's fun, Uncle.
-Of course.
Where's the fun in that?
We only just started playing
and we're already being asked to leave.
Who's the tour guide anyway?
The one who organized it
is weird and terrible.
Hey, are you talking about me?
I'm the tour guide here. What about it?
So, you're the tour guide, huh?
Next time, don't invite him.
He's not cool!
Just find another tour guide!
If Uncle Robert doesn't go,
who will drive?
The driver, of course!
Uncle Robert is the driver.
Just invite whoever, but not him!
Don't invite him, seriously!
Hey, you're the one
who shouldn't be joining in!
I've been here from the start, but you've
been causing chaos since you arrived.
Your hair looks like a rat. You stink!
I don't stink.
Stop body-shaming me.
It's you.
I'll just go home then!
Why am I making such a fuss about this?
What are your plans for tomorrow?
When is the gala dinner?
I'll let you know later.
Just let me know,
I have a lot on my plate tonight.
Sa.
Is she coming to the gala dinner?
Why do you want to come too?
Just don't invite him!
It's unnecessary to invite him.
I'm leaving now.
Hey.
-What?
-Kim, be careful, okay?
There's something behind you.
Come on, let's go.
Please, get in.
What is it? What's behind me?
A bag.
Actually, there are still plenty
of exciting things to do here.
There are many more routes here.
Some are short, some are long.
There are even more ext
They're all asleep.
We haven't even left yet
but they're already asleep.
Enough, let's just get off here.
What's going on with him?
What's wrong with him?
Gosh. They said they weren't satisfied
and still wanted to play.
Oh my goodness, but they were all tired!
Mr. Driver! I haven't slept yet.
I want to continue my story from earlier.
Let me turn on the radio, okay?
-No, just listen to my story.
-Let's just turn on the radio, please.
Astagfirullahaladzim.
See?
-The radio is broken.
-Poor you!
It was the one from the market yesterday
-There are Arabs
-Astagfirullahaladzim. He's singing.
Traveling to Bali
Who don't understand
Who can't play
And who just talk out of their mouths
Who? You mean me?
Are you trying to get at me, Mr. Driver?
No, it's an Arabic song in general.
-You're criticizing me.
-No, I'm not.
I wouldn't criticize you, ma'am.
-I swear.
-It's not good to do that!
-You're talking badly about me.
-Why would I criticize you?
Just go drive now.
Okay, all right, ma'am.
I just need to sleep.
You should have gotten some sleep,
ma'am. I swear.
Mahmud!
Allah!
Why did you take so long?
Are you taking a shower
or fixing the floor?
It's like you're doing ablutions
instead of bathing.
You're taking so long.
Now it's nice. All right, all right.
My cheeks are really red.
This is nothing but my first gala dinner.
-Auntie.
-What?
How about if I wear
this shirt and these pants?
-Is it a fit?
-No, it's not good.
Not good. Just find something else.
I see. I'll look for something else.
Hurry up and don't ask too many questions.
-Okay, okay.
-Geez, it's late.
All right, I'll just go with this.
My lipstick is so flashy. It's okay.
How about this? Is it good?
That looks good.
-Just wear that.
-Wear a shirt, a dress, or a skirt?
Enough with the questions.
My beauty will fade away.
I'll be the star later.
My makeup is so flashy.
-Looks nice, right?
-It does.
-Handsome, right?
-Yes, it looks good.
Hey, wait, Id.
It seems better not to wear the hat.
Oh, it's nice without the hat too.
It looks good.
-Wait a minute, Id.
-What now?
My forehead is like Aseng's. It's so big.
-I'll just wear it.
-Yeah, it's good.
-The hat looks nice.
-Right?
All right then.
He took so long, geez.
Oh my
Now what is it, Burhan?
Nothing. You look good.
-Thanks.
-Yes.
It's my turn now.
Your life is such a hassle.
Why is the mirror so small?
Oh, another one.
Astagfirullahaladzim!
What's wrong with you, Han?
Why are you so grumpy today?
You're the annoying one.
All right, go ahead and dress.
I couldn't even dress for a while.
Id?
What?
You smell really good, Auntie.
It's called perfume, duh.
Of course I smell really good.
I want to be the star
of the gala dinner later.
You're not done yet? Astagfirullahaladzim.
You're just fussing about your headscarf.
Put on your lipstick quickly.
Geez, you took so long. Come on, hurry up.
You look good.
Hurry up, we're late.
Is this it?
Something is wrong.
Yeah.
This is just ordinary.
Where's the gala?
No idea.
Wait, is this it?
Is this what they call a gala dinner?
I swear I'm confused. I'm lost.
Is this for real?
We could've just done this
in front of our house.
It's just that the motorbike
makes it less aesthetic.
Oh, gosh!
This is simply a barbecue.
We get this experience once a year, Mud!
-During Eid al-Adha!
-You're right.
Oh, gosh!
I even spent money on this expensive suit.
Ahlan Tour is just embarrassing!
It was my money, Han.
Why are you ranting about it?
Why are you so stingy?
What the heck is he getting at?
It's just this
and he calls it a gala dinner?!
Is it just this? I'm confused.
-What the heck is this?
-Calm down.
Where is Aseng?
Chef Robert is here.
It was my money.
Sorry, sorry, guys. I'm late.
Has the event started yet?
Started, you say?
Here's a striped lizard. Why is she here?
Be careful when you talk!
You're spraying me!
-You
-What's this?
-What's wrong?
-You guys are so old-fashioned!
You're still wearing
Oh come on, you haven't paid
for your clothes yet?
In fact, we rented them
and the fee is already paid off!
-Geez!
-Kim.
We're just waiting for Uncle Aseng.
Oh, come on.
If we wait for him, it won't start until
Jesus comes back a second time.
Astagfirullah.
How outrageous this kid's mouth is!
Uncle, just put it on again.
Why?
I just remembered something.
What is it?
Forget it, you wouldn't get it.
Whoa, oh my! You guys came right on time.
Why is everyone so neat and tidy?
Seng.
Gala dinner my foot!
This is just a regular barbecue.
Just a regular one, you say?
It's a gala dinner.
You're talking nonsense.
Hey, Aseng. Look at me.
As far as I know, a gala dinner
usually includes fine dining.
Right? With a chef.
There's a chef who goes around
serving food and drinks.
Huh?
A chef? There's a chef over there.
I'm a chef.
Hey, you're a driver!
Mr. Driver, right?
Can someone explain this?
What does this mean?
One moment, he was a driver.
Then he was a tour guide.
Now, he's a chef.
What does that mean?
Are you like under-budgeted?
Calm down, ma'am.
Calm down, ladies and gentlemen here.
Everyone, calm down.
There will be a surprise after this.
Just relax.
Please come.
It's over here and right there.
Don't just crowd around here.
-It's tasty.
-Why aren't you eating?
-Go have some.
-Finish all the food.
No, I'm done. I want to go home.
Why are you going back?
We've just started eating.
Your event is not cool.
The food is just like this.
Just like this?
It's you who's being picky.
Here, try this delicious satay.
No. What kind of satay is that?
Hey, don't ask too many questions.
Just try this.
Hmm, kids these days.
This one is delicious.
Well, how is it?
-It's tasty.
-Told you!
What do you think it is?
-Pork satay!
-Yes, pork!
Astagfirullahaladzim. Seng!
-Huh?
-Is this pork?
What?
I can't see that. Come here.
This is chicken.
Really, Seng?
It's safe as long as you get it
from the halal section.
And that one is non-halal.
-You look like a pig.
-Ya Allah!
I forgot where I got it from.
That's pork!
Hey.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-Ba.
If you forgot,
just change the plate again.
What a hassle.
What a waste.
Oh goodness.
Where did you get this from? Is it safe?
It's safe. I got it from
the halal section.
-Okay. You're smart.
-Well, of course.
Ah, forget it.
-I'm leaving now.
-What?
-You're leaving?
-Where are you going?
My friends also invited me to a party.
Hey.
Aren't you going to take more satay?
It's delicious, you know?
No, I don't want to. He cooked it, right?
He did. What's the problem?
So what if I'm the one cooking?
Your pork stinks!
I cooked pork to be eaten,
and not to be sniffed!
Did you sniff it?
-You're weird.
-You're weird.
I'm going back first, guys.
Be careful, Kim.
Auntie, I'm leaving first.
Just eat that pork.
You're acting like a voodoo doll.
Please enjoy, ma'am, ustad.
-Tasty, isn't it?
-I'm full, Mom.
Alhamdulillah.
Hey, Seng.
You said there was going
to be a surprise, right?
What?
Don't trust Aseng, Id. He's all bullshit.
You said there would be a surprise
at the end of the event. Where is it?
Yes, be patient and just relax.
-I think it will be soon.
-Nah, I'm not sure.
-When?
-In a moment.
We wait.
It's now.
Sir, ma'am. Ladies and gentlemen.
It's time for the surprise.
Yes.
Please welcome
the bumbung dance!
Bumbung!
You see?
Woah.
Awesome.
He's going along with it.
-Astagfirullahaladzim. Don't look!
-Oh my!
That's amazing!
Is that how it is?
Oh my.
Wait, I need to fix my
seating position first.
Why is it like this, Seng?
Oh no.
No idea, it's Robert's doing.
Mr. Ustad. Come on.
Hey! I'll punch you!
It's a sin!
Let us!
-Huh, what's wrong?
-It's a sin!
-Seng! Come on.
-What?
-Let's just go.
-No, don't
-Come on, let's go.
-Huh?
What? What are we doing?
Just like this.
-Let's go.
-Is it okay?
This is my boss.
Give him a good one.
Let's have fun together!
Oh no.
Ah! Stupid.
I can't take it anymore.
-What's wrong with you?
-It's painful.
-I can't take it.
-Don't take too long, Seng.
It won't take long, for sure.
I can't take it anymore.
Enough, Bert. I'm tired.
Umi. I'll be back in a moment.
Okay.
Where are you going?
You want to dance?
Geez!
Give a round of applause, everyone!
Thank you, ladies.
All my guests are happy.
Thank you.
Awesome!
Wasn't it awesome?
That's crazy, bro!
It was really cool.
Are you all satisfied, huh?
Your eyes are sparkling.
Not mine. I didn't like it.
What's with that? It's Said's eyes that
were almost popping out earlier.
My eyes are perfectly fine.
Look at Mahmud's eyes.
It was Aseng's eyes.
What's wrong with my eyes?
Are they slanted?
My eyes are not The Eye of Najwa
let alone daylight eyes.
Because it's nighttime.
For all of our eyes!
Hey, Bert.
I want to ask you something.
What was that earlier?
Is the dance really like that?
Just rubbing against each other like that?
Actually, it's not like that, Koh.
Then why did you do that
and then invite me to?
Just to have some fun.
Just don't do that again.
Poor them. They won't understand.
-Don't show anything like that again!
-Everyone is happy, aren't they?
Assalamu alaikum, Uncle and Auntie.
-Waalaikumsalam.
-Aba, Umi.
-Aba.
-Hey, Ezhar.
Hey, what are you doing?
Just greetings.
You're getting ahead of yourself.
Why is he here anyway?
He is Vanya's nephew.
So what's the matter?
Are you Ezra?
It's Ezhar, Uncle Aseng.
Do you want to eat?
Just take it, but pay me first.
No, Uncle.
I came here just to visit with
Mumu?
The problem is that
the potential for rekindling
an old flame is high, Mud.
Because if we compare you and him
in terms of looks and money
Wow, he's far, far ahead.
Let's keep an eye on them.
How?
Cool.
Ezhar is inviting us to go out tomorrow.
Do you want to come?
-Sure.
-Nope!
So, what's going on now
with Mumu and Laela?
I said at first that there were
four of them.
But they split up,
and now it's just two of them.
What's wrong, Umi?
I feel like I've seen him before.
He looks like a pickpocket
from the city, doesn't he?
It's difficult, Mud.
Shall we do "farming" tonight?
Nope. The rice is already soft.
How is that possible?
Let's play checkers or something.
You're no fun, you know!