Betty (2020) s02e05 Episode Script

KIRT: Excuse me, excuse me.
Do you know where
the Skate Church is?
-Of course.
-All right, thank you!
(TIRES SCREECH)
(RAUCOUS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
What if you guys
start dancing a little bit?
You a TikTok star now?
SPEAKER: My ex wanted to bring
another girl in,
and that shit was basically
just an off ramp to breaking up.
ASH: Hey.
Why are we even doing
photo shoots here?
I'm just trying to make
some money
because I'm, like, homeless
right now.
Are you kidding me?!
-KIRT: Whoa.
-Oh, my god. We made it.
Can you just, like, take me
already?
Shit. Take is such
an unclear word to use for this.
I'm just gonna go.
CLIENT: So, Violet. I have
5,000 dollars for you
if you let me do
one thing.
[TV static drones]
[bright tone]
- [wolf whistle]
What's up, sexy?
Where you coming from, baby?
Looking good!
Oh, my God, baby.
[wolf whistle]
Where you going, mama?
You looking good!
Oh, my Go--
Oh, my God, baby girl.
Come here, braids.
Where you going?
- Yo!
Those are twists,
not box braids!
- Get the fuck out of my face.
- Yo, stop with that
harassment shit, man.
- You have a tampon--no?
- Tampax?
- Two of them.
Oh, there you go! Look.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Take one of these!
Anything!
- You sure?
- They're clean.
- Okay, cool.
- They're clean.
- Gentlemen, come on!
Gentlemen, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go!
One, two, three!
all: Single mom!
Single mom!
- Get back to work!
- You shut up, kids.
Go paint your nails!
- We already do, motherfucker!
- Get--the fuck is wrong
with you guys?
And I'm not single.
- I feel like
it's kinda working
but it's also not working.
- It's not working.
[serene music]
♪
- [singing in Russian]
♪
- You good?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
♪
And bend your knees.
Yeah, I'ma push you
with my hands.
- Okay, wait.
- Okay, one, two, three.
♪
- [groans]
- Good job.
- I can't go up that ramp.
I just--
- Good job.
- Thank you.
- Yo, Micah never taught you
how to skate?
- Obviously not.
- Oh, my God.
♪
[indistinct chatter]
♪
[door creaks]
- I'm heading to NFD right now,
and, you know,
I could really use my manager,
if you wanna come.
Can you hand me that, uh,
shirt underneath you?
That one right there?
Hello?
Okay, well, I'm going,
and I really--
[grunts]
You--you wanna come?
Indigo!
[grunts]
Why'd you do that?
[sighs]
- [sighs]
- Are you okay?
- See those greens?
That's what I need.
More greens.
Let people know to bring those.
I'm good on dry goods,
canned goods.
- It's all canned goods
at a food drive.
You can't ask people to bring
fucking vegetables
to our party.
- What's wrong with you?
It's that little boy?
- No.
- I'll put him in one of these,
that's my word.
Put him in a casket.
He violated?
- No!
- All right.
What is it, then?
- [sighs]
Okay, so we were kissing,
but every time it--
- Okay, okay, okay.
You can slow down right there.
That's a conversation for you
and your little girlfriends,
okay?
Uh, is there any other way
I can help?
You know, kissing and shit
- I don't even know
if he likes me.
- Every time I see you
around him,
he's like a little puppy dog.
It's written all over his face.
That's a easy one.
Where's the problem?
- Okay. [sighs]
Okay, so why doesn't he
just go for it?
- Okay, I think I understand.
So y'all hanging out,
get a little crudy
or whatever,
and he's taking it
very slow, right?
As he should.
It's Me Too era.
You understand?
Like, guys like us,
you have to be
absolutely certain.
Can't take chances like that.
So I like the way
he's operating.
He's being a gentleman.
I like--
You're--you're--you're starting
to make me like this guy.
I like the way he's moving.
Where's the problem?
- What am I supposed to do?
- You have to find a way to
give the guy the green light.
Fuck am I talking about?
Okay, look.
Know what?
This conversation's over.
Think you can figure it out
from here?
Tell you this, though,
that boy violate,
he gonna be looking
like this guy right here.
- Ugh.
- I had the keys, right?
So why do I have to tell you
when I'm coming over?
- I mean,
is that a crazy thing to ask?
- Yeah.
Do we need a facilitator?
- Apparently, we do.
- Hey, I'm just here
to support y'all.
You know, I'm not here
to ruin anything.
I'm my own primary partner,
and I thought--
- Wait, wait.
What does that mean?
- That y'all are each other's
primary partners--
- No, you said you're your own
primary partner.
What is that?
- That--
- How?
- That I am mys--I am my own
primary partner.
- Wh--
- I just have some skills
that I thought
I could support y'all with,
'cause I think what you have
is so beautiful,
and, you know,
you could use this moment
to transform together,
to actually get closer
and build trust.
- I'm just hearing
a lot of words,
and I don't understand
what you're saying.
- You know, when we listen
- [groans]
- We can either listen
with jackal ears
or with giraffe ears.
- Oh, God.
- Jackal criticizes and blames,
and a giraffe feels their way
through it with an open heart.
- Honeybear, what's up?
- What?
I'm listening, you know,
with my zebra ears.
- Giraffe.
But zebra works too.
I think zebras
have open hearts.
So maybe we can do, like,
a zebra breathing exercise
to all get on the same
vibration about,
like, where
we're trying to meet?
- Yeah, I would do that.
- So would--would you be down
to, like, put your--
put your hand on your chest?
And take a deep breath
into your deep belly.
- Oh, my God.
- Now
[exhales heavily]
All the way down
through the ground.
Take a deep breath in.
- Hey!
- Hey, girl, hey!
What's going on here?
- I just wanna skate.
- Camille,
we are all about skating.
- I get that,
but I'm not an influencer.
- Camille, you say it
like it's a bad word!
- Well,
it's just not me at all.
- Camille, you are, like,
the Mia Hamm
of your generation.
You are Camille Thee Stallion.
- No, no, no, you are Venus
and motherfucking Serena.
- Yeah.
- In what way, I--
- And this is why we want you
to do our Instagram takeover.
- Right?
We have, like,
1/2 million young Camilles
just waiting to be inspired.
Plus, it pays.
- Are we cool?
- Yeah, yeah, I get it.
- We good?
- Yeah, I--I get it.
- Okay, amazing! Yay!
- Yeah? Yeah?
- God of Skate Church,
we ask thee to bless
and sanctify this chip
to the souls of all those
who partake of it,
that we may skate
with his spirit.
Amen.
- No.
- Um, it's a sin
if you don't take it.
- I'm not down with mocking
people's beliefs.
- I did 12 years
of Catholic school.
- So when you heading
back to the city?
- I don't know.
- If you're, like,
in a hurry or whatever?
- I'm not.
- Okay, well,
what I'm just saying is that
you don't have
to worry about me.
You can just do you.
[Freak Slug's "Disorder"]
- Okay.
- Thanks for the sandwiches.
- What?
- I've been waiting
for a guide to come ♪
And take me by the hand ♪
♪
Could these sensations
make me feel the pleasures ♪
Of a normal man ♪
♪
These sensations barely
interest me for another day ♪
♪
I've got the spirit,
lose the feeling ♪
Take the shock away ♪
♪
- You okay?
Huh?
You've been in there
a long time.
[sighs]
I'm gonna piss myself.
Just, uh, making sure
you're okay, you know?
Anything?
Okay.
Okay.
[melancholy music]
♪
- Yo, Tai.
Hey.
I think Tai broke up with me
but in a friend way.
I wanna text him,
but I don't know what to say.
[sighs]
I don't know if he kno--
if he thinks that
I'm mad at him or--
I know that he knows
that I know that I'm--
he's mad at me.
- Are you mad at him?
- No, I'm not.
I'm really not.
- All right, then.
- But I don't--
I don't know how I feel.
Like, why am I being
so dramatic?
It's like we're going out
or something, and--which is--
no, it's--we're not, I--
I don't know.
What do I say?
- Just fucking text him, bro.
- What's good with you?
- [sighs deeply]
I had a bad date.
- Oh.
Are you okay?
Do you want a hug?
[dramatic music]
♪
- Yeah, so frog legs.
I don't fucking care
about frog legs anymore.
I don't really--
- Yo, I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
- Whatever.
- Yo, Shelby!
Shelby, wait!
[door creaks]
♪
- Here.
- I'm not going, Camille.
- One sec, I can get
something else that's better.
- It's too sparkly.
- But animes sparkle.
- It's not sparkle.
It's kira kira.
- Oh, okay, hold on, got it.
Um
I don't know if this is that,
but--uh, a white dress!
It's--white dresses are scary.
You got ghosts in them and
- It doesn't matter,
because I'm not going.
- All right, listen.
I'm going as a banana,
and I'm gonna look so stupid,
and you're gonna be in one
of those and look hot as fuck.
And guess what.
Turns out, you can't say no
to a banana,
'cause they're good for you.
You know this is true.
Put one of those things on,
and let's go get fucked up
on Halloween.
That's what you're
supposed to do.
[La Femme's "Exorciseur"]
♪
- Ooh ♪
[singing in French]
♪
- Yeah, buddy, I like it.
All right, nice.
- Everybody likes it.
- Okay, next.
- Farouk, what is all this?
- It's a food drive
for the elderly.
You need food to get in.
- Who organized it?
- I don't know, I don't know.
You, I thought you did it.
- No!
[hip-hop music playing]
Janay!
What happened to having
a small gathering?
- It got a little bigger.
- What about keeping
this place low-key?
- It's not that serious.
- I found this place!
- Yeah, you've mentioned that
a few times now.
- 'Cause you still
won't respect it!
- How do you want me
to acknowledge
that you found this space
but you don't do shit?
- I want half of what we raise.
- Half of the canned goods?
- No!
We need to be charging money!
- For what?
- For my fucking rent!
- As hard as it may be
for you to imagine,
but there are people out here
who are actually hungry.
Not upset because Seamless
fucked up their order!
- [scoffs]
- Legit hungry!
People lost their jobs,
their homes.
They're marching in the street
for their fucking lives!
Do you not get that?
- Don't be talking to me with
your hands all up in my face.
You don't know my fucking life!
- I know enough!
- You don't know shit about me!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- What is wrong with you?
- Yo, yo, yo, whoa!
- You don't know shit
about me!
You don't know shit about me!
- Chill out, relax.
Whoa, what--
what's wrong with you?
You guys are friends.
Relax, man.
You okay? What do you need,
a hug or something?
- No, that's not what I need,
Farouk.
- So what's wrong?
- But I know you got
some extra Molly.
- There's no extra, man.
There's just the Molly
I'm gonna do.
- Give me some fucking Molly.
- I don't even think
that's a good idea.
- Farouk!
- Okay!
Oh, whoa, okay, all right.
Just--
All right, man.
I--this is a bad idea,
but happy Halloween.
Have fun.
And just relax, man, chill out.
[gibbering]
[Clips X Ahoy's "Blow"
playing]
- Oh, that girl, bam ♪
Oh, that girl ♪
Yeah, she bad
and she know it ♪
She bad and she know it,
she drop it ♪
Drop it, drop it ♪
- Oh, my gosh, I love it!
- She bad and she know it ♪
She bad and she know it ♪
She drop it, drop it,
drop it ♪
When she hear
that whistle blowin' ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it ♪
Blow the whistle,
blow the whistle ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it, roll it ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it ♪
She drop it, drop it,
drop it ♪
- What are you doing?
- Turn that off!
Turn that off!
- What are you doing?
- This the best part, though!
- No.
- Workin' hard
for that paper ♪
All types of flavors ♪
Tell me,
what's your favorite ♪
- What y'all know about this?
I was in "Soul Train" twice.
- Gonna throw it back ♪
- Two times.
- Hold up, now dip it ♪
Pop it, baby, then spin it ♪
Bad bitches be winnin' ♪
She bad and she know it ♪
Roll it, roll it, roll it ♪
She make you cut
slow motion ♪
Blow the whistle
and roll it ♪
[cheers and applause]
- I am healthy,
I am wealthy ♪
I am rich, I am that bitch ♪
I am gonna go get that bag ♪
And I am not gonna
take your shit ♪
I am protected,
well respected ♪
- Baby, it was so good.
- It was so incredible.
- Thanks, I used
my giraffe eyes to edit it.
- Should I go?
- Just--just fuck it.
- I get bands,
but this ain't magic ♪
- Yo!
All right.
- Don't need the hate,
my back's to you ♪
[upbeat electronic music
playing]
♪
- Janay, you're fucked up.
- No, I'm not.
If I was fucked up,
would I be able to do this?
♪
Take yo' banana.
- You know how to twerk?
- Yeah, hell yeah,
I know how to twerk!
♪
- All right,
I'm not doing that.
♪
- Little bite?
- Ooh!
- Little snacky snack?
- Oh, yes!
[laughs]
Mmm.
Hey, um, do you know if VICE
is filming us right now?
- Well, that's news to me.
I hope they are.
- Oh, okay.
- You good?
All right, enjoy.
- Thank you, thanks.
Mmm.
Oh, that's delicious.
♪
- Excuse me, Kirt!
- Oh, my God, is Kirt here?
- What?
What the fuck?
[birds hooting, squawking]
- So, Shelby, what I've been
thinking is that,
um, I feel like
we've just been having
a really good time together
and, um
we click really well,
and I feel like you're just
a really beautiful girl,
and I just feel like
I wanna say
that I think that
I lo--
[exhales]
Okay.
[Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy"
playing]
♪
[laughter]
♪
- I know a guy
who's tough but sweet ♪
- You, me, we just wanna
waste some time ♪
Do just what we like,
yeah ♪
Got an appetite ♪
For the finer things
in life, boy ♪
You just gotta
treat me right ♪
From the day to the night ♪
- [laughs]
- Oh, it's the way
you spin me round ♪
I can't seem
to find the ground ♪
Oh, never meant
to lose my mind ♪
Just a little
bump and grind ♪
Too fast,
windin' up my waistline ♪
Too much,
I'ma run the baseline ♪
Higher,
I can almost taste it ♪
Leave me satisfied ♪
- Hey!
- Yo, what's up, what's up?
What's up?
Hey.
- What are you supposed
to be--like, a house cat?
- Stop.
- Rawr.
[laughter]
- Yeah, whatever.
- You need to be, like,
domesticated?
- Oh.
I like the sound of that.
- [laughs]
Oh.
- Hey, where we going?
Where we going?
♪
- Hey, Tai.
- Yo.
- How are you?
- Why are you fucking--
why--why you--
why you coming up to me
right now?
- Um, to say hi.
And talk to you.
- You been weird lately.
You been weird as fuck.
- Yeah.
I wanna let you know that I--
I didn't cut you
out of that video.
- Well, it's not like
you didn't,
but you didn't
say shit anyways.
- I know, and I'm sorry.
It was for--
- Well
[scoffs]
Whatever, you're a dick.
- I think you should sit down
and not drink any more of this.
Hey, come on.
Sit down.
♪
Oh, my God.
- Why are you a fucking banana?
- Uh, it's Halloween, and I--
I thought, I like bananas.
I like your costume,
but, like
- What are you doing?
- Taking this off,
'cause it's like you have
knives on your fingers,
and you're gonna hurt yourself.
♪
- Why--why are you over here?
- To say I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I know that, like,
I was beingan asshole.
And I--I want
to really say sorr--
- [retches]
Nice socks.
- Sit down, sit down.
[laughs]
- Whoa.
Whoa.
[chuckles]
- Take it off.
Take it off!
- [laughs]
- Yeah.
Whoo!
[laughs]
- Hold on.
♪
Hey.
Hey.
- Whoo! Fuck!
- Whoa!
All right, all right,
all right.
All right,
you're all fucked up.
- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
No, I'm not!
Sit, sit down, sit down.
- All right.
- Here.
- All right, wait.
Okay, wait, wait.
- How do you--
- Janay, Janay.
- How do you take this off?
- Janay, Janay!
- Where the fuck is the--
- Janay.
- No, no, no, just--just--
- Janay, stop.
- Just--just--shh.
- No.
- Look, look, look.
Just take this off right--
- Janay.
- What?
- You're fucked up.
- Wow!
Okay.
You know what?
Whatever, Miss Manners.
I'ma go find someone else.
- Janay, stop!
I wanna do this.
But not like this.
Trust me, it's, like--
it's not the right time.
[SALEM's "Fires in Heaven"]
Fire, fire, fire ♪
In the sky ♪
♪
Fire, fire, fire ♪
In the sky ♪
Fire, fire, fire ♪
♪
Fire, fire, fire ♪
In the sky ♪
♪
Fire, fire, fire ♪
In the sky ♪
♪
Fires in the sky ♪
Inside my mind ♪
♪
[Simian Mobile Disco's
"Hustler" playing]
- Hey, yo.
- Hi.
- Hey, what's up?
You remember me?
It's Jay.
Uh, it's me, it's--
[chuckles]
- Hi.
- It's Jay, you remember?
- Oh, hey, hi.
- Yeah.
I saw on Instagram you guys
were doing this party.
This place is awesome.
- Yeah.
Drink again.
- So, uh, that was fun.
The other night,
just hanging out.
Our date thing or whatever.
That was a good time, right?
You have a good time?
- Yeah, um, I--
I really love the board, I--
- Yeah.
I'm glad.
Cool, cool.
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
Well, see you later.
♪
- You dated him?
- No, it was, like,
a sugar baby thing I did.
- Wait, you're a prostitute?
- N--no.
I don't--no.
- Really?
- No.
- [laughs]
- Keep drinking the water.
♪
- Gotta make
what you gotta make ♪
In this here life ♪
♪
It's 8:00 ♪
And I got nothing to do ♪
Can't go to the club ♪
So I guess I go
to the record store ♪
Visit my record man
with my sticky hands ♪
- Yo, hey, it's, uh--
it's Jay, it's
No, you don't remember me,
with the Tony Alva board?
What's up, how you doing?
Everything good?
- Get away.
- You remember me, right?
- Hey.
- What's up? How you doing?
You doing all right?
What's going on?
- I said back off!
- Yo, what the fuck is wrong?
- Hey, hey!
- Time to go.
- Get the fuck off me, man!
- Come on, man.
You heard the lady.
- Respect the female!
- Get the fuck off!
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!
My man, we ain't asking.
- Yo, get the fuck
out of my face.
- Or what, my dude?
- Just so you know,
I train
in Brazilian jiujitsu.
[laughter]
- Shut the fuck up.
- Fuck you up.
- Yo!
- What the fuck?
[all grunting, yelling]
[melancholy music]
♪
[bright tone]
(ELECTRONIC PARTY MUSIC
PLAYS) ♪
Yo, Shelby!
Hey!
Yo, I told Micah.
Told Micah what?
I've been spiraling.
Like I don't know what to do.
What was that with that guy
back there?
-HONEYBEAR: He's just a guy.
-ASH: Really, Honeybear?
And then he put me
in skimpy ass clothes
that you can't even skate in.
They don't care
about any of this.
(CLAMORING)
(SIREN CHIRPS)
I-- I just wanted to let
you guys know
that I-- I called the cops.
-So don't--
-You what?!
(MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪