Bizaardvark (2016) s02e05 Episode Script

1 Hey, guys! Paige and Frankie here.
We had a huge test this week, and if you're like us, this is how you study.
(both screaming) (crunching) But watch this video, and you'll never have to study for a test again.
(school bell ringing) We have a test today we didn't study for We don't wanna fail this class But Paige and I aren't dummies, And we've got a plan to pass Both: C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C C, C, C, C, C C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C B No, C Oh, no.
No more multiple choice.
What plan can we use now? True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true Paige: True! True Both: We got a 61 Both: You could spend all day On a swing eating a baguette But why do boring things like that When there's the Internet? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! - Let's go make some videos - Hey! You could watch Dirk doing crazy dares - Saying, "Here we go" - Here we go! He'll do anything you want Just don't try this at home Or watch Amelia teaching ya How to look your best Making over people is her never-ending quest You could watch Do you have constant foot odor? You could watch us make ridiculously funny videos Like the one with evil pop-up books That punch you in the nose Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos And I I missed it.
Did you guys hear what happened in Studio J? Uh-oh.
I hope they're not trying to scare us, because I am not good with Both: Surprise! - (screams) - (punch) Ohhhh! You got your own studio! (rock music playing) Hello! I'm sorry I have to send in this pre-recorded video, but I'm busy right now doing (dubbed): literally anything else.
Congratulations (dubbed): Bizaardvark? Uch, really? On reaching 100,000 subscribers.
I wish you all success in making more videos like (dubbed): I'm bored.
Recording off.
Frankie! We hit 100,000 subscribers! No-look high-five! Bernie/Amelia: Woooo! (rock music playing) Thanks, guys! You're the best friends ever! Could've stayed to help us clean up, though.
What are you doin'? Oh, I just grabbed some stuff to decorate our new studio.
Check it out, it's it's Benjamin Franklin boxing a dinosaur.
Get it? 'Cause it's weird? Oh.
But we didn't even talk about it, and I thought we'd ask our fans how to decorate our studio.
Well, I mean, this is our studio, not our fans'.
But we wouldn't be here without them.
Yeah, I guess, but I don't know, I I just disagree.
And I disagree with you.
Oh.
Okay, not to worry.
We're prepared for this.
(beeps) (Frankie's voice): Are you Yeti for this? Behold! Paige and Frankie's Five-Step Disagreement Resolution Process.
Written in the year of our Yeti 2012.
To end our very first argument: "Where should we keep the scroll?" It took a lot of wiring, and all my allowance, but I think we made the right choice.
Amelia? Hi, I'm Rachel Massey! I know who you are, you're class president and homecomin' chair.
And founder of the Impressive Handshakers Club.
Wow.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
Anyway, I'm organizing a big school fundraiser called, "Let's See Your Moves, Tarzana.
" People will buy tickets to watch local celebrities like the mayor and Channel 8 weatherman dance.
Oh.
And we want you to be the headlining star of the big final dance! Oh! You can pick your partner and dance style: tango, waltz, samba Oh, sure, I know how to do all those.
Terrific! I really want this to go well.
It has to go well or I'll be kicked out of school forever.
Oh, no, really? No! Founder of the Drama Club.
And scene.
Bernie! I just got myself into big trouble.
I said I'd be in this fundraiser, but I don't know how to ballroom dance.
I'm gonna look ridiculous in front of the entire school.
I only said yes because, Rachel's so nice and cool, and I wanna be friends with her! Well, if you want, I could be your dance partner.
I'm a great ballroom dancer.
- Really? - Yeah.
I've been taking lessons since I was four.
Trust me, I can teach you how to dance.
Grandma, I need you to teach me how to dance! Let me guess, this is all to impress your fake ex-girlfriend? I think the question is, which fake ex-girlfriend, am I right? Why would I high-five that? Let's just start with the basics.
When you're first learning to dance, it helps to count out the steps.
One two three four, one two three four.
One two three four! One two three four! Grandma, I ran out of hands.
All right, I don't have time for this, I got my fight club at 8:00.
Okay, first hold me tight like you hold your teddy bear when there's a thunderstorm.
- I don't hold my teddy bear - (making thunder noises) (screams) Now, puff out your chest.
More.
More.
Like you did when you felt threatened by that squirrel at the park.
Stupid squirrel.
Now tiptoe, like it's the middle of the night, and you're trying to sneak into the living room to watch a PG movie.
Grandma! I'm dancing! I'm dancing! Maybe I am ready for a PG movie! I don't think so.
Okay.
Remember, we go through all five steps until we agree on how to decorate our studio.
(Yeti speaks) Fans I believe in our fans They should have a say in every way We dress our studioooo I disagree You should listen to me I've got a prop of a pig And it's wearing a wig What more do you neeeeeed Wow.
That was beautiful.
- I still think I'm right.
- I still think I'm right.
(Yeti speaks) I just think our fans have a lot of really great ideas.
Well, I'm a dragon! And I'm bigger than you! Yawr! Yawr! Yawr! Yum! Yum, yum.
Got a new puppet, huh? (Yeti speaks) (death metal playing) (Yeti speaks) Hey, Frankie, do you Oh.
Sorry.
Didn't realize you guys were arguing.
(Yeti speaks) (inhaling) I just think the Internet is a playground of ideas and opinions, and we have a responsibility as part of that community to embrace those thoughts, or risk the collapse of the entire institution.
(inhaling) You're wrong! Frankie, that was the last step.
We still haven't solved anything.
Hey, well, don't get mad at me.
We wouldn't even be having this disagreement if you didn't care so much about what other people think.
No, I don't.
Really? Why do you wear that shirt so much? I get a lot of compliments on it.
Yeah, exactly.
Everybody hates this shirt.
But I wear it, 'cause I like it.
I I guess I value other people's opinions 'cause I'm a nice person.
Oh, so I'm not a nice person.
No.
I'm not saying that.
Except you just did.
Okay.
Tension.
Look.
If I'm being honest, sometimes it seems like you only care about what you think.
Yeah Well, maybe 'cause I have confidence in myself and I know who I am.
Wait So I don't know who I am? I'm not saying that.
Except you just did.
Okay, I can feel the tension, too.
Are we in a fight? I don't know.
We've never been in one before.
I think we are.
Congratulations! Minor disagreement resolved.
Celebratory dance party.
Celebration, celebration Everything is perfect A perfect celebration - Hi, I'm Amelia.
- And I'm Bernie.
- And we're a thing.
- And no, we're not.
We're gonna be doing the Cookie on Your Face challenge.
So each of us is gonna put one of these cookies on our face, try to maneuver it down our face, and then into our mouths, but we can't use our hands.
Let's get our cookie on! (both speaking) Small cookie.
What? (groans) - Ooh take that! - Hey, stop! Let's watch this.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
- I'm going - I believe in you.
- Stop.
Stop.
- I believe in you 100 percent.
Just stop, you're psychin' me out.
Okay, stop.
(both speak) Okay, ready? Go.
It doesn't move.
- Ahh - No! Grandma didn't raise a loser! Yeah! Can you do it with your eyes closed? Yeah.
What type of cookie is this? Uh, well it has jelly on it.
That might be a little slimy.
(groans) (grunts) It's in my hair! It's in my Both: We're both winners! Except for the fact that I won.
Oh.
Hey.
Hey.
Got anything you wanna say to me? - (locker door closing) - No.
Anything you wanna say to me? Nope.
Hey, guys.
I just wanna let you know I'm starting a Friendship Club, - and I think you two would be fanta - Paige/Frankie: Not now! (sigh) Frankie, what are we doing? We can't stay in this fight forever.
Yeah, you're right.
An apology would just end this whole thing.
Great.
So go ahead.
- I'm sorry? - Thank you.
No, no, that was a question.
You see the person who should apologize is the one who's wrong, so you go ahead.
Ohhh.
Okay.
- I'm sorry - Thank you.
Hang on.
Not done.
I'm sorry that you're selfishly avoiding responsibility for this fight.
You know what? I feel an apology coming on as well.
- Oh.
- I am so sorry that you're so sensitive to what other people think, because I think that this fight is all your fault, and, your face is dumb! Oh.
This face? This face? You know what? - I'm giving you the silent treatment.
- Whatever.
Ey! Don't walk away from me when I'm not talkin' to you! I've still got a lot of things not to say to you! (with accent): Amelia! It is I, Bernardo, your dance instructor.
Take my hand and we will glide like angels.
Ew, it's all sweaty.
My doctor says it's normal.
Now let's dance.
(piano waltz playing) Hold on.
One second.
You know what? Let's just concentrate on our feet.
Ow! I don't know much about dancing, but I do know that you're supposed to lead.
I am leading.
Now dip me! Dip you? You're supposed to dip me.
Oh, no, I think Grandma only taught me the girl parts! Grandma? Did you lie to me about knowin' how to dance? Okay.
Yeah, I did, but You were upset, and I wanted to help make it better.
And you know, if you were impressed and wanted to get married after that, so be it.
You didn't help! I told Rachel I'd do it, and I can't back out now.
I'm gonna be embarrassed in front of the entire school tomorrow, because of you! - But the marriage thing, is that - No! Oh.
You're here.
Yeah, um, last time I checked, this is my studio, too.
Well, if it's all right with you and your stupid dinosaur poster, I'm gonna get some work done.
Well, uh, don't expect me to talk to you.
Don't expect me to talk to you.
(typing on keyboard) (typing louder) (smash) - That's it! - Oh, uh, I'm sorry, did that upset you? What do you think? Look who suddenly cares about what other people think! Oooh! Good burn! But don't take my word for it.
Why don't you go online and see if other people like it so you can go, "Mmm, compliments! That tastes good!" You know what? Maybe I will put something online.
Hey, everybody, what do I do? In a fight with my so-called best friend! So-called best friend? What about former best friend? Even better! - (knocking on door) - Frankie.
- Are you okay? - No.
Do you wanna talk about it? No.
Do you wanna see a really disgusting x-ray of a guy who swallowed a lizard? Yeah.
Ohhh! Gross! Thanks, Dad.
Is this about your fight with Paige? Yeah.
She's the worst.
She cares too much about what other people think, and it drives me crazy.
Well, that must be tough.
So, are you gonna tell her why you feel that way? No.
All right.
I guess we'll have to find you a new best friend.
- What? - Let's check out your old yearbook.
Hm.
Here we go: Megan Murphy.
Dad.
Her quote is, "Our beaches are eroding, just like our souls.
" She sounds fun.
I don't want a new best friend.
Then you need to talk to her.
Frankie, if you don't wanna lose Paige as your best friend, she needs to know where you're coming from.
But it's too hard.
Why? It's personal.
You know.
Maybe it's time Paige knows, too.
Ohh, Frankie, I love you.
I promise, everything's gonna be okay.
Thanks, Dad.
(knocking on door) It's Saturday, Grandma.
We agreed I could stay up until seven.
Amelia? Is this a dream? Are we solving unicorn crimes like last time? No.
Wait.
What's my crime solvin' name? Officer Glittersparkle.
Make me a lieutenant, and I want a full report on my desk tomorrow.
Yes, ma'am! Bernie! That's not what I came here for.
I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday.
You saw I was upset and your first instinct was to help me.
Thank you.
Of course.
That's what friends do.
I say, who cares if we don't know how to fancy dance.
If we go to that fundraiser, have fun and be ourselves, I'm sure the audience will love us.
- Wait Are you saying - Yes.
Bernie Schotz will you be my dance partner? Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes! (applause) Well, let's hear it for the mayor.
She can cut a rug, and funding for the arts.
(applause) And now, the for the performance we've all been waiting for, let's give it up for Vuuugle star Amelia Duckworth and partner! Bernie: Aagh.
(applause) Remember, just have fun.
(pop dance music playing) Oh! They love us! They love us! They hated us! They hated us! What were we thinkin'? They wanted somethin' formal, like a waltz, and we just went out there and followed our hearts and did what we believed in.
Who does that? Amelia, it's gonna be okay.
People booed us! The mayor just yelled the word "disappointment"! Rachel probably thinks I'm a loser now.
Hey! We had fun out there, and that's something that we should be proud of.
Wow! You two dancing was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen.
And I was a medic in the war.
Hey, can I? What are you doin' to my Yeti? (sigh) I'm mourning the conflict-free friendship that used to be Paige and Frankie.
And I'm about to set this Yeti ablaze as a symbol of our inability to end this fight.
Aw, you put so much effort into this.
I just buried my face in a hoodie.
Hey, can we talk for a second? Yeah.
I'm gonna do something I I rarely do.
Open up and express feelings in words.
Okay.
You say I don't care what other people think.
And yeah, that's sometimes true.
But that's because it's not easy for me to depend on people.
What do you mean? I depended on my mom.
And then she left.
And it it really hurt.
So I guess sometimes I put up a wall because I'm afraid if I open up and and let people in, I'll get hurt again.
I'm sure you just love all this gooey stuff.
I'm insecure.
What? That's why I care so much about what other people think.
Then I hate that I do because what you think should be enough, but for some reason, I I still want everyone else's approval.
I wish I were as secure as you, but I'm not.
Am I doin' this right? You're doin' great.
I don't wanna fight anymore, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Ah! This feels so good! Can we do this every day? N No way.
Feeling feelings is exhausting.
But we still do need to decorate our studio.
Why don't we see what our fans think? - Really? - Yeah, we have the best fans.
Let's see what they came up with.
(sighs) "White walls?" "Cool stuff?" "You guys figure it out.
" Maybe we just decorate it ourselves.
I love you.
Love you more.
What's up, guys? - I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.
Both: And we're Bizaardvark.
Welcome to our new studio.
Who wants a tour? (cheering) Lookit! Both: It says Bizaardvark! Aah! It still says Bizaardvark! I think the first thing that we should show off 'cause we're the most proud of this um, is our toilet.
It can talk.
Hello.
- It doesn't function as a toilet.
- It doesn't? Paige don't tell me y (toilet flushing) Paige: That's us eating pizza.
We love pizza a lot.
- This is our sound booth.
- I'm in the sound booth right now.
- Yeah, um, sh - It's our sound booth.
I can hear her, but she can't hear a thing I'm saying.
This is a booth from my mom's restaurant.
Don't tell her I stole it.
She doesn't know.
Both: These are chairs! Chairs again! Two people, one chair! Too big for a chair! Little too tall.
- Both: Bizaardvark! - Bizaardvark! Both: Bizaardvark! Bizaardvark! Bizaardvark!