Bookie (2023) s02e05 Episode Script

1
GRANDMA: Eighty-two.
Would have been 83
come Valentine's Day.
Were either of you with him
when he died?
- BOTH: No.
- No?
I came in to see
if he needed anything,
but he had already passed.
(DOOR OPENS)
Got here as fast as I could.
I appreciate it, but we're okay.
- Are we done?
- OFFICER: Yeah.
If we have any more questions,
we have your information.
Sorry for your loss.
- GRANDMA: Thank you.
- RAY: Thanks.
What happened?
What?
He died of old age, right?
- What do you mean, "right"?
- I mean
he was 82, so it was his time to go.
Yes, Rayfield, it was his time.
It was his time.
Oh, oh, absolutely.
I am so sorry, Marion.
Anything I could do?
Well, you could say a prayer
for my Frank.
Of course. Did he have any family?
I could make some calls.
No. Well, there's a little sister.
Maybe we should call her.
- That might be difficult.
- Why?
- She's L-WOP in Chino.
- (SIGHS)
- L-WOP?
- Life without parole.
How would you know that?
I keep telling you he's a hoodlum.
I'm not a hoodlum.
I made a mistake, I paid for it.
- I'm rehabilitated.
- Hoodlum.
Oh, whatever. She still deserves
to know her brother's gone.
I'm not going to no woman's prison!
I'm sure we can get word to her.
Do whatever you want,
just leave me out of it!
What stage of grief is that?
I don't know.
(SIGHS) You okay?
Not really.
(EXHALES) I'm sorry, man.
Probably triggered the necrophobia.
- Necro what?
- Necrophobia.
Fear of dead things. I looked it up.
Why the fuck would you look that up?
'Cause you're my friend, my partner,
and I know you struggle with it.
Thank you for coming over.
Go home.
Should have looked up
fear of intimacy, Ray.
♪
DANNY (SINGING ALONG TO RADIO):
The legend lives on ♪
From the Chippewa on down ♪
From the big lake ♪
They called Gitche Gumee ♪
The lake, it is said,
never gives up her dead ♪
When the skies of November
turn gloomy ♪
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Hey.
- Sorry about that.
- It's okay.
Death in the family,
you get a mulligan.
Thank you. It's just been
real freaky around here.
I can imagine. With the necrophobia?
- Would you please
- Sorry.
- Hey, I could use your help tomorrow.
- Anything.
I gotta take Grandma over
to our funeral home,
help make arrangements
for Frank's, uh
What you call it? Interment?
I'll be there.
- Thank you, bro.
- Be strong for her.
(GRANDMA LAUGHING)
What time you thinking?
I'll give our favorite mortician
a heads-up.
- 9:00.
- See you there.
What ever happened to Martin Lawrence?
What?
Martin Lawrence.
You don't see him anymore.
(LAUGHING)
MARTIN LAWRENCE (ON TV):
Okay? I don't blame you, baby.
(GENTLE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
- Oh, hey, Danny, Ray.
- RAY: Yolanda,
this is my grandmother Marion.
Hello, Marion.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. He was a great man.
I'm sure he was.
Let me tell Alan you're here.
Hi. Yeah. Just arrived.
He'll be right out.
You own this place?
We got a piece.
What's that mean, you got a piece?
It's a hoodlum thing.
Marion, I am so sorry.
- My deepest condolences.
- Thank you.
Now, don't you worry about a thing.
I will personally take care
of every detail,
soup to nuts.
I appreciate it.
Come. Let's go talk.
Right this way.
There you go.
Now, I don't want to rush this,
but a church bus flipped over
on the 118,
and I got a lot of incoming.
Ka-ching!
Coffee for Danny. There you go.
Marion, are you sure
I can't get you anything?
Well, maybe some Remy.
Done.
Will Frank's life insurance
cover all of this?
There's a life insurance policy?
Maybe.
Well, I don't want you
to worry about money.
Because of Danny and Ray's
generous support,
most of the funeral will be gratis.
All of the funeral will be gratis.
Let me finish. All of
the funeral will be gratis.
Now, did the deceased
leave any instructions
as to how he'd like to go
to his eternal rest?
Traditional burial?
We also offer cremation,
and for the ecologically-minded,
there are some exciting new
options in composting.
Well, Frank wanted to be buried.
- Good choice.
- But we gonna cremate him.
- Also a good choice.
- You sure about that?
I want to take him home
and sprinkle his ashes
in the flower garden.
ALAN: Which is absolutely fine,
but I'm obliged to tell you
(STRAINING)
that the California
Department of Public Affairs
requires a permit to spread ashes
in any public or private space.
They gonna send the ash police
to my house?
No, of course not.
You gonna rat me out, little man?
No, ma'am, I'm not.
Well, looks like we're doing
cremation.
- Today.
- ALAN: Uh, actually,
we won't have Frank's body
until tomorrow.
All right then, first thing.
Grandma, you were about
to marry this man.
You sure you don't want
a funeral service,
memoriam or nothing?
Why? It's just gonna be
you, me and Tony Soprano here.
I could bring my wife and
I want to get this over with.
To achieve closure
makes perfect sense.
Now, show me them urns.
Right this way.
(RAY SIGHS)
- What's going on?
- You don't want to know.
- But there is something.
- There's nothing. You hear me? Nothing!
(INSECTS TRILLING)
GAME ANNOUNCER (ON TV): Look at
the patience by this team
passing around
outside the 3-point line
- Who you texting?
- A friend.
Ooh. Girlfriend?
Just a friend.
Just so you know,
if things of a romantic nature
were to happen,
my phone lines are open
and operators are standing by.
What's that mean?
Really? You can't infer?
What's infer?
(PHONE BUZZING)
- Yeah?
- RAY: What are you doing?
Chatting with a lump of clay.
What's up?
I don't want to talk on the phone.
All right. Where you want to talk?
(CAR HORN HONKS TWICE)
- (DANNY EXHALES)
- Hey.
What's up with the cloak and dagger?
I'm pretty sure
my grandmother killed Frank.
- Yeah, very funny.
- No, I'm serious.
When I walked into his room,
he was dead,
and she was standing there
holding a pillow.
- You think
- Yes, I think.
Well, if you're gonna do it,
that's how you do it.
- What's my move?
- What do you mean, what's your move?
You have no move.
She's your grandmother.
I can't sit across from her
at breakfast
- knowing she's a murderer.
- Well, nobody's perfect.
I drove all the way over
Coldwater Canyon to Sherman Oaks
- for "no one's perfect"?
- You didn't take the 405?
No, no, it was all red in my nav.
Ah, then Coldwater was the right call.
Danny
Danny, I'm going crazy.
I can't make sense of life
without my grandma.
She's the rock I've always leaned on.
No, I understand.
Have you said anything to her
about your suspicions?
No, of course not.
Think you should?
What, like, "Grandmother,
"the French toast is delicious.
Did you murder Frank?"
Listen, I know you're joking,
but starting with a compliment
is not a bad approach.
I don't think I can do that.
Well, then your only option is
to live your life
with the possibility that
your beloved old grandma
is a cold-blooded killer.
Denial. That's your solution?
It's more than a solution.
It's a lifestyle.
- Thank you.
- And, needless to say,
anytime you need to talk,
my phone lines are open,
and operators are standing by.
What?!
Come on, you get it.
Yeah, I get it.
Stay strong.
That guy's old as fuck.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
- Did you get any of that?
- Nope.
- You speak any Spanish at all?
- Not really.
Are you calling me an ignorant cow?
I thought you didn't speak Spanish.
I've been called that before.
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
(DOOR LOCK BUZZES)
Guess I should apologize.
But I'm not.
Hector, I have an ice pick in my bag.
Pray it stays there.
New game plan.
You're riding with me today.
- What about Ray?
- He's taking some personal time.
Everything okay?
Not really. Frank died.
- Aw.
- HECTOR: Try that again.
With some human emotion.
Where'd the fruit basket come from?
Card says Costa Rica.
- Who do we know in Costa Rica?
- Nobody.
Hey, big boy, fruit's for partners.
Let's roll.
Hey, Hector.
See ya later.
JANELLE: You're kidding.
- That's a guest house?
- RAY: Yeah.
You have a full kitchen,
all the utensils,
bedroom for Ray Junior,
bedroom for you,
sheets and towels.
I was gonna rent it out, but
But you know (CHUCKLES)
this is way better.
And just so we're clear,
we'll have our boundaries.
You'll live your life, I'll live mine,
and we won't intermingle.
- What if I want to intermingle?
- I'm sorry?
Let me put Ray Junior down for a nap,
after which, I will thank you
as only I can.
Oh. Okay.
I guess we can do this
and still have boundaries.
- (EXCLAIMS)
- Absolutely.
Really excited about this.
Feels like I got
called up to the show.
Relax. It's just a parade of assholes.
Some of them are pretty savvy, right?
No. Over time, they all end up losers.
The trick is
you got to bleed 'em out slow.
Take 'em to the cleaners
one shirt at a time.
One shirt at a time. I like that.
When I was selling weed,
I was always careful
my customers didn't have
a psychotic break.
'Cause then they're
in a lockdown ward on ketamine
and I've lost
a steady stream of revenue.
So you get it.
(BELL RINGING)
I'm gonna introduce you, but, uh,
you got nothing to say, all right?
S'alright.
Señor Wences.
Fuck is that?
Hey, there's my big winner.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yes, I am.
Here to claim my spoils of war.
I'm happy for you, pal.
(LAUGHS) Thank you.
Who's this?
That's my associate, Hector.
Hector, this is Artie.
Hey, nice to meet you.
You can say hello.
- Hello.
- Yeah, yeah. Hey.
You killed me this week.
That's 'cause I got a new system.
- Oh, do tell.
- ARTIE: No.
No, no, no, it's proprietary.
Algorithms, historical trends.
In fact, I've already said too much.
Well, whatever you're doing,
keep it up.
Yeah, a couple more weeks like this,
I get my car fixed,
my daughter gets her bike back.
(CHUCKLES) It's nice of her
to lend it to you.
Yeah, well.
She loves her daddy.
There's nothing her mother
can do about that.
All right. You be good.
- Yeah, back at ya.
- (BELL RINGING)
What are you doing?
That was really sad.
Dude, you got to toughen up.
(CRYING): It's his daughter's bike.
(BELL RINGING)
No, I haven't talked to her yet.
Well, what are you waiting for?
It doesn't seem like the right time.
GRANDMA: One, two, three, go!
We had a pretty big winner
last month with the scratchers.
Congratulations.
When's the right time?
- You want one?
- Hang on.
Guy, I don't gamble. Just this.
Sorry. One way or another,
you got to put this behind you.
Get some closure.
It's it's just,
what if she says yes?
- What if she took him out?
- GRANDMA: Oh-oh.
Then you put your arms around her,
you tell her you love her
no matter what.
Then, make a mental note
never ever to piss her off.
Very funny.
- I wasn't joking.
- I got to go.
Make sure you lock
your bedroom door tonight.
Oh, fuck you.
She may be on a killing spree.
- Everything okay?
- Yeah. It's just Danny.
I'm sorry, but I do not like that man.
(CHUCKLES)
A lot of people feel that way.
- GRANDMA: Go! Yes.
- JANELLE: What's Ray Junior up to?
Grandma's letting him sprinkle
fertilizer on the flowers.
- Aw.
- Uh-huh.
HECTOR: What's this?
If I told you,
you wouldn't believe me.
Bus ♪
The Double Dutch bus. ♪
(ENGINE SHUTS OFF)
- Thought we agreed on 1:00.
- Could not be helped.
Man, we had two Bernedoodles
that rolled themselves in horse shit.
Had to shave the dumb fuckers.
Bit me on my tit, man.
Want me to kiss it and make it better?
- You wish.
- Who are you?
This is my associate, Hector.
Hector, say hola to Mad Maxine
and Big Bad Betty.
Hola.
- I could sit on this face.
- Mm. You want to?
We got nothing till
the Levine's chow chow.
What do you say? You want to party?
I mean, we could throw down hard
and hose you off in the van.
(WEAK CHUCKLE) That's very kind.
Danny, can you spare him
for a few hours?
DANNY: He's yours.
Compliments of the house.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
You're joking, right?
Do we look like we're joking?
No. Not currently. Danny?
- What?
- Say something.
I want him back in one piece.
We'll do our best.
Hop in.
(LAUGHING)
Don't worry, I got him chipped.
(LAUGHING)
Hey, how's it going?
GRANDMA: Okay.
Looks like you're taking
a liking to Janelle and Ray Jr.
I am.
She's a good momma
and that little boy is just
a spoonful of sugar.
I'm glad.
You know, I thought
this house was gonna be
me and Frank's love nest.
But I'm starting to see
what it was really meant for.
And what's that?
A warm, safe place
for all my great-grandchildren.
- All of 'em?
- Yeah.
Why? How many are there?
Uh three, I think.
Got more than enough space.
You want three baby mamas
in this house?
Why not? You're a graduate
of Brigham Young in Provo, Utah.
They didn't teach you how to
manage a house full of wives?
Must have skipped that class.
Listen.
There's something else
we need to talk about.
Go ahead.
It's about Frank.
- What about him?
- He was making progress,
getting stronger every day and
he just suddenly dies?
- You asking me a question?
- No. No, no.
Look, I'm just confused.
- About?
- About how I walked into his room
and you were holding a pillow?
- You think I killed him?
- And then,
you couldn't get him
cremated fast enough.
You think I killed the man I love?
The man I waited 42 years for?
No, I didn't say that.
Well, then, who's saying it?
- (PHONE BUZZING)
- (GAME PLAYING ON TV)
Yeah.
GRANDMA (OVER PHONE):
Fuck you, Danny Calamari!
Fuck?
- Yeah?
- Who are you?
- Who are you?
- I work with Ray.
I made some baked ziti
for his grandma.
Baked ziti.
Why don't you go run
and get Ray for me?
Why is my ho sense tingling?
Are you calling me a ho?
The tingle don't lie.
- Okay, just get out of
- (SHOUTS)
(GASPING)
(BOTH GROANING)
Fuck you.
What the
Whoa, whoa! Everybody calm down!
- (LORRAINE YELLS INDISTINCTLY)
- Let's all calm the fuck down!
- You fucking this ho?
- What?
Ow!
You moved this cunt in?
(GROANS)
- You're dead!
- (GRUNTING)
Motherfucker. Son of a bitch!
Hey, motherfucker!
You motherfucker!
Stop it!
JANELLE: Oh, fuck,
you son of a son of a bitch!
♪
J'aime ♪
J'aime ♪
I love Jimmy Luxury ♪
- J'aime ♪
- Hey, hey ♪
La-da-da-da ♪
I'll see you tomorrow in Havana ♪