Brassic (2019) s02e05 Episode Script
Series 2, Episode 5
1
There you go.
That's been flushed, cut, cured.
It's ready to smoke, that.
- How much you got?
- Shitloads of the stuff.
Unit's full to bursting.
We're harvesting it all now.
Here you are.
Got you a sample there.
Do I look like a man
who smokes weed?
I dunno. What does a man
who smokes weed look like? You.
You.
Last time I smoked a joint,
- I was wearing short trousers.
- Yeah?
Summer, was it? Eh?
Sunny day?
Yeah?
Go easy on it, though,
cos it's strong.
I'm fine.
Smashed out of my head,
know what I mean?
Sell it.
- Sell it?
- All of it.
No, I can't sell
Cos I'm a local weed dealer.
I only know a few people.
I invested.
Now I need a return.
All right.
Are you all right?
You're gonna have to ride it out,
man.
10, 20 minutes.
You need, like, a cold surface.
And, like, a Crunchie or a
The best things in life
are free ♪
- What you doing this weekend?
- Going to that festival. Chillfest.
Who's playing?
No idea. I'm just going to
get slaughtered in a field.
- A festival?
- A festival.
- A festival?
- A festival, yeah. As in?
As in a festival, you bell ends.
Are you out of your mind?
Just think about it.
It's the perfect solution.
We've got a shitload of weed
to get rid of here.
What's better than a field
literally full of pot-heads?
- We don't have a field. Or any bands.
- Or any toilets.
We'll get a field,
we'll get a band and we'll
get some toilets.
I think that's a great idea.
I love getting twatted in a field.
- What are you doing?
- Well, that's me, raving.
- Is that how you rave?
- Yeah.
Jesus, it looks like
a fuckin' seizure
Wait. There's an easier way.
- Yeah? Being?
- B-B-Budapest.
Fucking Budapest?
M-Massive weed shortage.
They can't get their hands on the stuff.
- Who's told you that?
- My chiropodist, Kelvin.
- Fucking mind boggles.
- Fuck me gently.
I've got it.
The bloke with the jowls.
The fat The fat face jowls.
Remember?
He's got a lock-up, six doors down
from the weed grow. Welsh lad, yes?
- Yes.
- Got it.
We were waiting for you lot one day
and this guy pulls up.
Personalised reg, gold on every
finger and he says
Are you lost? Can I help?
I mean, he is fucking full of it.
Right fucking show-off.
What's his name?
- Styles.
- Styles. That's it, because he says
Styles by name.
Styles by nature.
- Bell end.
- You're not wrong, yeah.
Anyway, he's bragging about his
business, tells us he's into
Beer festivals. Foodie Fridays.
Where there's nosh, there's dosh.
Started out in Eisteddfods,
but I outgrew Wales.
He shows us inside.
We're talking beer tents,
beer pumps, the works. It were
impressive. Took a shine to Erin.
And what's your name?
Erin.
Beautiful name.
Comes from the word Eros,
meaning love.
- Does it?
- You're a lucky man, Tommo.
You've got a beautiful woman.
Well, unless, this is
No, no, no neither of them,
actually.
Most I've had's a drunken lick.
Er, not with me, you haven't.
Yeah, I don't remember that.
To be honest, I don't know why
I said that. I was showing off.
Oh, well this is perfect, then,
innit?
Rip this knob head off.
That's half the festival sorted.
Yeah. He absolutely deserves it.
Yes, yes. Yes, but, there's er
one tiny little problem.
Have a gander. Eagle eyes.
You wanna get this.
Anyone breaks in, sends a message
straight to your iPhone. Look.
Nine, nine, nine.
Dibble coming running.
I know.
There we have it.
We need his phone firmly turned off.
We need him very very
distracted.
Nah, you you are kidding me.
- No, she's not doing that.
- Dylan, I can speak for myself.
All right, I'll do it.
But I'm not doing anything
until you've got a venue.
A festival? Here?
- Yeah.
- Fucking Tilly and Tarquin.
Fucking bank of mum and dad.
Never done a proper day's work
in their lives.
With their oversized sunglasses and
their fucking designer wellies!
"Oh, let's bring
down the government."
"Let all the immigrants in."
"Why can't we all live in peace
and harmony?"
Because we fucking can't!
And no amount of flowers
that you put in your fucking,
middle-class, henna'd, fucking hair
is gonna change that!
"Would anybody like
a disco biscuit?"
FUCK OFF!
Ta-da. Flatbed truck. JCB.
- You're a legend, man.
- Where've you got these from, you?
- My mate, Demolition Dave.
- Does he work in demolition?
Yeah. And his name's Dave.
Listen, we need to get down there.
As soon as we get the call from Erin,
it's on, all right?
Grand, yeah.
Cardi, come here.
Do you know what you're doing?
Yeah, circle the block,
eyes and ears.
That's right. What else?
Oh, er, don't put it in turbo boost.
Don't put it in turbo boost.
Cardi, if you see anyone,
you call me.
- Yeah.
- Fucking hell.
- Erin.
- Hi.
- Angel.
- Oh!
- Even more stunning than I remember.
- Aw, Stef.
You're looking good.
This old thing?
So, here we are.
The owner is a very close
personal friend of mine.
He'll look after us this evening.
I know. Come in. Come in.
Come inside.
Oh, a gentleman.
Right, this could be her, this.
- Hello?
- Vin, it's Vanessa.
Oh! I-I-I'm in a tunnel, Vanessa.
I'll have to call you back in a bit.
It's a bad reception, love.
Who's that?
It's my dad's girlfriend.
Enabler whatever you wanna call
her, she'll be after money.
To wonderful company. Iechyd da.
- Cheers?
- Cheers.
Ooh. Oh, that's like
like bathing your tongue
in the juices of a Princess.
Metaphorical.
Yeah. Course.
Now, I'm gonna turn this off.
I don't know about you, Stef, but I
hate phones being on in restaurants.
My sentiments exactly.
I just think it's really important
for us to
stay in the zone, you know,
not be distracted.
Mine's already off, my dear.
- OK.
- Cheers.
Cheers.
Right, get going. But whatever you
do, don't hang about. Right. Bye.
Do you remember the good old days
before the ghost town?
What the fuck are these three
three tanks?
Why's he got three tanks?
Did you mean 6B?
Cos this is six. 6B's next door.
Could be.
How the fuck can you
not remember, man?
Why the fuck would I remember?
Get that out of me face.
- 6. 6B. Just call it 6 and 7.
- Shit.
Fuck off, Vanessa.
Right. Oi. Oi!
Go and get your JCB.
Smash through that wall.
Through that wall?
This town
Town ♪
Ah, fuck!
Come quick. There's a m-m-man
with a m-m-m
- Machete?
- No, no, a m-m-m
- Machine gun?
- No, a m-m-m
s-s-snake!
- Cardi?
- 'C-C-Cops. You have to hurry.
Where the fuck? Where are they?
I'm leading 'em away.
I told 'em I'd seen a snake man.
- What do you mean, a snake man?
- A man with a snake. Hurry up.
Fucking snake man.
Do you know what I mean?
What's he doing, him? Oi. oi. Oi!
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Does it look like I'm fucking stalling?
Yeah, it looks like
you're having it caj, dude.
Sparking fags.
What do you think it is? Miami Vice?
Get the fuck off.
What are you supposed to be?
Decoration? Come the fuck on.
Ohh! Oh, yes.
Oh, Erin.
Oh.
Oh. Oh!
Oh, shit!
Oh, please don't be broken.
Fuck!
Shit.
Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Just here. He was down here.
- The snake man. He's down there.
- What shall we do him for?
Anything you like.
Woah. Woah. What you doing that for?
Go on, JJ.
Fuck.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
Thank fuck for that..
Oh, shit.
All right, boys.
Let's steal some stuff.
Ugh!
- Hey!
- I'm being robbed. Bloody robbed.
- You're joking.
- No, I'm not.
Police!
Look, yes, I'm being robbed.
Right this minute.
I've seen 'em on CCTV. They're in
my premises and they're robbing me.
- Shit.
- Stefan.
Stefan.
No, not Steve. Stefan. It's Welsh.
Just hurry the fuck up.
Just grab anything you can.
We should go, we've got enough.
- Can I have this?
- What do you want that for?
- I really like it.
- Just take it. Fuck.
Fuck off, Vanessa. Jesus Christ.
Erin.
He knows. Vin, he knows.
He's calling the police.
All right. All right.
We need to leave right now.
We need to leave.
JJ, Come on! Come on!
In the JCB!
Come on. We need to go now, boys.
Bloody hell! Jesus!
I don't know why your nicking me
when there's a snake man on t'loose.
Jesus Christ!
It's about as comfy
as a Ryanair flight, this is.
Fucking Slow down!
Fuck! No, no, no!
Dude, you really want that then,
don't you.
It reminds me of happier times.
Fuck me!
- Erin. Want a lift?
- Nah, you're all right, ta.
- He's still cut up, you know Jake.
- Yeah, I know. I can't chat.
- I've got to
- Erin! My Goddess, wait!
Shit! Can you take me home.
Yeah, yeah.
Vanessa. Look, whatever it is,
I don't care. I don't give a shit.
- It's your dad Vin.
- I don't care, Vanessa!
For fuck's sake.
Dude, will you slow the fuck down?
The pigs won't be far behind!
Oh, shit! That's not good.
No. No. No, no, no, no, no.
Bollocks!
Don't you fucking dare.
Agh!
Shit! Oh, my God.
- Shit.
- Shit.
Right, will you stop gawping, Ash,
put your fucking foot down!
For fuck's sake.
What?
It, it's your dad, Vin.
I think he's killed himself.
I told him it were over,
but he wouldn't have it.
He kept turning up at my house,
making all sorts of threats,
and then tonight he calls me and
tells me he's gonna kill himself.
And then he hangs up and I've called
and called but there's no reply.
What if he's?
D-Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
- It's all right. Come here.
- Oh, Vinnie.
I still love her.
It's all right. Sshh.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Are you OK?
Just call the police.
Wh-Wh-What?
Sugar just call the police.
One wallet.
One boiled egg. Cracked.
One 50%-off voucher
for Pitta Patter kebab shop.
One troll.
And erm three choco bars.
All correct?
D-D-Didn't I have
a D-Double D-Decker?
No.
Fucking arseholes!
See you later.
New car, Vincent? Very retro.
All I could get last minute.
What are you wearing, man?
- What?
- That get up.
It's what I wear at home.
You're not at home.
You're in t'bloody woods?
Yeah, well,
you said it was an emergency.
It's not so urgent,
you couldn't put some pants on.
- I've got some pants on.
- Have you fuck.
- Is that a rabbit?
- Yeah.
Aw, look at him. Hello.
- He's lovely.
- Never mind the rabbit.
- Have you got boxers on under there?
- Course I've got boxers on.
Well, show me, then.
All right.
You.. Fuck me.
- 'Ey, no.
- 'Ey!
Look at that. Commando in the woods
is how we're meant to live, Vincent.
It's tiny.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
He's in a bad way, Vin.
His liver's dangerously enlarged,
his heart beat's way up,
his blood pressure's low.
If he keeps drinking, he's
Well, he'll be dead in a few days.
Fuck!
Oh, fuck, he's gonna end up killing
himself. He has to drink every day.
It's the only way he can cope.
He's an addict.
Well, rehab clinic?
They're expensive.
How much will that cost?
There's a pretty good facility
quite near here.
I know the woman who runs it.
Melanie.
Fucking incredible.
- Oh, now, fuck Now, no
- What?
- No, man.
- What?
Not cool, you can't just segue
off my dad dying on to Melanie's
incredible fucking blow jobs.
- Dinner parties.
- That's not. Now, that
Chris-She gives incredible
dinner parties'.
No-one does that.
Who does that at a dinner party?
- Do you want me to call her or not?
- Yes, I fucking do.
He picked me up outside the Wood
Street restaurant, about half-ten.
He said he was passing.
I thought it was a bit weird.
Anyway, I got in.
Who were you at the restaurant with?
Er, he's a businessman.
Like, a work thing.
Who?
Which businessman?
Well, that's irrelevant, innit?
OK, so you got into Arron's car.
And tell me what happened?
He started to drive and he said
So, how does it feel
to be a free agent?
Or is there someone else
on the scene?
No. No-one else.
Just didn't work out, me and Jake.
I know he can be a bit uptight.
Or was it the sex?
Please tell me
he was terrible in bed.
I didn't wanna talk about Jake.
And I certainly didn't wanna talk
about sex with him,
but he just kept going on, and on.
Not in an aggressive way, but,
like, he was sort of enjoying it.
Anyway I had enough and I said
You know what?
I can I can walk from here.
Oh no, no. Don't worry.
I can take you home.
Or we could go out
for a drink, if you like.
Er, home, please.
It's quite late.
Let's go home.
And then he goes quiet.
And he was going faster
and faster and faster
Aaron.
Aaron, slow down.
Aaron.
One drink, Erin. One drink.
- You're gonna kill us. Please!
- Who cares?
Me? I've got a son!
Slow down! Now!
One drink, Erin, and I'll slow down.
Fuck. Right, one drink! One drink!
Shit!
- Kiss me.
- Fuck off.
- Come on, one kiss. You'll like it.
- Get off.
- I'm better than Jake.
- Get your hand off! Get off.
- What is it with you?
- Get off!
- Aaron!
- Screwed goody two shoes.
What?
What's so special about him?
I'm the real deal, Erin.
- I'm better than him Erin.
- Get off. Get off me now.
OK, listen, we'll go and speak
with him straight away.
That's a serious assault.
I just kept thinking about my son.
What would happen to Tyler
Yeah, I understand.
Would you like us to arrange
a visit from Victim Support?
No.
'Ey. How's your Ronnie doing?
Is he still in prison?
Theft, GBH.
He's a lovely lad, isn't he, Erin?
I still remember all the good times ♪
Long days ♪
Filled with sunshine ♪
And just a little bit of rain ♪
Mm ♪
Melanie. Russell.
If you should look back ♪
Try to forget all the bad times ♪
The lonely blue and sad times ♪
Just a little bit of rain.. ♪
Sure, yeah. Glad to help, yeah.
Just a little bit of rain ♪
Just a little bit of rain ♪
Just a little bit of rain ♪
He never sleeps.
Fuck me.
Never gets any rest at all.
He's always puking.
Or pissing himself.
Then he gets frustrated and angry.
Rants to himself.
Then smashes things up in the house,
like fucking bottles and that.
TV might go over.
He never does anything too drastic,
though, like, he never..
It's like even when he's fucking
out of his mind,
there's this small part
of him that thinks
"I can't put a window through."
You know, summat like that.
"Can't put a window through, I'll have
to get a fucking guy to come round."
"Spend money that I haven't got."
"He's gonna see the state
of my house."
I really miss my dad.
Come here. Come on.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Sorry.
Are you all right?
Ow! Jesus!
Aargh.
- You burn your arse?
- Yeah.
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky ♪
Little Boxes, little boxes ♪
Little boxes all the same ♪
There's a green one,
then a pink one ♪
And a blue one and a yellow one ♪
And they're all
made out of ticky-tacky ♪
And they all look just the same. ♪
And they all play
on the golf course ♪
And drink their martini dry ♪
And they all have pretty children ♪
And the children go to school ♪
And the children go to summer camp ♪
And then to the university ♪
And they all get put in boxes ♪
And they all come out the same ♪
- He says you attacked him.
- He's chatting shit.
He says you were drunk, legless,
and you came onto him.
When he rebuffed you,
you got aggressive.
What, and you believe him, do you?
It would help if you give us the name
of the man in the restaurant.
- For fuck sake, I can't, I can't.
- Why not?
Because I can't.
Without evidence,
it's just your word against Aaron's.
All right, fine.
Nice middle class boy versus
you.
Why don't you go and bum
a fucking dog, Carl?
Go on. Go and bum a dog.
Get out.
Get out of my house, right now.
- Go on.
- That's probably everything, then.
Since you've been gone ♪
Since you've been gone ♪
I'm out of my head,
can't take it ♪
Hmm.
- Oh, oh, oh ♪
- Oh, fucking hell. He's shit, isn't he?
- Yeah, I know.
- He's delusional.
They're a bunch of fat dads.
But he says that if we
give him a good slot
he'll pay for the stage,
lights, and mixing desk.
Fuck it, he's in, then.
Have we got any good bands?
A couple of local bands, glad of
the exposure, a few of '90s bands.
And Mark Owen
from Take That offered,
but I said we weren't
that desperate.
Who else?
- Well only Europe's leading DJ.
- Who's that?
Dead Moose.
Bloody brilliant, that.
Who's made that?
Erin.
Where is she?
I haven't seen her for days.
She's not answering her phone.
How hard can it be? Drop a few
tunes, mix 'em together.
- What's going on here?
- What the?
Well, wouldn't you like to know?
Get the fuck out of my house.
I would like to know, because
I see a lot of coming and going
and I know you're up to something.
Oh, well you know what they say.
Nosey shot the crow.
No-one says that.
What? Course they do.
- Have you ever heard that?
- No, never heard that.
Course you have! Fucking
Nosey shot the crow.
Fucking, you know, don't be
Don't be sticking that, your nose,
where it doesn't belong.
It makes no sense. If Nosey's
sticking his beak in,
why does he shoot the crow?
What's the crow done
and how's that punishment?
- The crow that's come off worse.
- He's got a point, Jim.
That is
It's just a fucking you know
a proverb, a fucking
Softly, softly, catchy monkey.
Yeah, and who the fuck goes around
catching monkeys?
Those little buggers shift fast.
It doesn't matter how softly you go,
you wanna catch a monkey,
you need a bag of peanuts and even
then there's no guarantee.
Thank God we sorted it
in the end, though, eh?
Piss off, will you?
I will, but I'll leave you
with this.
Clause 7C, section 14
of the public events act, 1973.
Permission must be sought and agreed
by any neighbour
within a two-mile radius.
And for you, that's me.
Have that, Nosey.
Crow's fighting back.
You blonde prick!
Polish arsehole!
Fuck off!
That's a problem.
Erin. Erin.
Erin, Erin, Erin.
Erin.
What's all this?
- What's all what?
- This. This. This
Oh, yeah, I get it.
You can you see my aura?
No, but I can see your hippie beads,
and what is that on your neck?
Yeah, check it out, man.
You know what that is?
Buddha the God of wonder.
Why have you got it?
Right, the er
Ronald Horatio Croft
that you used to exist
Yeah?
Born again.
OK, I've been converted.
I've seen the light, Erin.
- Which means I'm three things.
- What?
I'm peace. I'm love,
and I'm fucking understanding, Erin.
- Well
- So, it doesn't matter,
that the, the, like, like,
my, my, my cell mate, you know.
Who's fffffucking irritating,
and he's, he is, you know.
He scratches his arsehole just raw.
Not even through pants,
with his fingers direct.
He pisses about with all the
liquorice bits in between his toes.
- Fucking hell, it's disgusting.
- It's fucking disgusting, Erin.
But it don't matter
cos of how I am these days.
All right? Nothing can, kind of,
penetrate my inner zen.
And all I say is that
that is Jah Rastafari.
Yeah. I get it, it's a ploy.
- What's a ploy?
- To get out early. I get it.
- A ploy?
- Yeah.Wow. Can you believe that?
- Who are you talking to?
- Erin, do you know what?
I've already set my foot.
- Oh, my God.
- On the road to Domestos.
- Oh, Damascas.
- Erin, I've genuinely opened up
- a new leaf.
- Why do you always get it wrong?
It's turned over.
Turned over a new
leaf, whatever, der, der, der, der.
But do you know what I'm a bit like
at the minute?
What?
I'm a little bit like
a bald John Lennon.
- Right.
- I'm out there, just searching, pow,
searching for my Yoko.
OK?
I'm not saying actually Yoko,
you know,
cos, like,
she was a bit weird, wasn't she?
Not in like a racist way,
or anything like that, but like
Like Yoko, but a fit Yoko, blonde,
I don't know.
Jah Rastafari to that, sir.
Anyway how are you?
Come on. Come on.
Anyway
Do you remember in school?
When I got locked in the bogs
with Mark Carver?
Hm.
- He tried to feel
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just fucking battered him
straight into the sink.
But, well, the old me,
that was the old me, man.
- That was so aggressive.
- You said,
if anything happened like that
again, I need to tell you.
Yeah?
Oh, you fuck
Do you know what we're
gonna have to do about this?
What?
Let's bless their soul.
Join me and gain redemption.
Ommm
Ronnie.
- Ronnie?
- Ommm
- Ronnie, what are you doing?
- It's like Buddhism.
Ronnie, please stop omming.
Stop it.
Erin, if I don't omm, I'll do
I'll do summat else. Or omm with me.
- You are embarrassing me.
- Ommmm
Stop.
Everyone's looking.
People are looking now.
- Stop it. You know what, forget it?
- I think you're right to be honest.
- It does get you a little bit.
- People are looking you.
- You don't even care, do you?
- Fuck, the Monks do it for ages, man.
They sit at the top
of a mountain saying, omm.
- Fuck's sake.
- They look cool, when they do it.
No, they don't. You certainly don't.
Turn round.
Remember? If it squeals we gag it?
If it fights, we bag it.
You been working
on that little rhyme?
No, actually,
I just came up with it.
Why have you taken your balaclava
off to talk?
I like you to see my face.
Does that not defeat the purpose of
wearing it in the first place?
Let's just get on with it, shall we?
Fucking hell.
- Where is the little bastard?
- Probably asleep.
Interestingly, they have very
similar sleep cycle to humans, pigs.
You know when you start
a sentence "interestingly",
it's important to honour
that promise.
Shit, Shirley! Fuck.
You said he wasn't home!
Fucking Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Hang on.
- He's sleep walking.
- Oh, my heart stopped.
Jesus Christ, that's taken years
off me, that has, years.
Who fucking sleepwalks?
Don't shine it on him.
It's very common, actually.
Some people sleep eat, sleep drive.
And in my experience,
even furiously sleep masturbate.
- Fucking hell.
- Right, lads.
It's not in here, lads.
- Oh
- What's this?
- He has it in bed with him?
- Each to their own. You grab it.
- You grab it.
- JJ?
- Go on grab it.
- Oh, Christ's sake.
Come on, JJ.
Here, piggy, piggy.
Ahh!
Fucking hell.
- Ahh!
- JJ?
Well, you try fucking holding
a wriggling pig.
Una Zebra A Pois ♪
Una zebra ♪
A pois ♪
Here we go!
- He does talk.
- He doesn't.
He does.
- Watch him.
- Give me a biscuit.
- That was you.
- No, it was him.
It was you.
Can I ask you a question, man to man?
Your mum I don't know.
She just doesn't seem herself.
It's ever since the police came.
The Police?
They came one day. And Sugar said
it was about a bad man.
A bad man.
Do you know who the bad man was?
No.
But mum knows because she had to
tell them all about him.
All right. Give me a love.
You go and put your bag upstairs.
Hi, Auntie Sugar!
I thought you were
having him all day.
I can't, I'm sorry.
My dad's gone AWOL from rehab.
I'm gonna have to look for him.
I've got to nick a car and everything.
- I'll come with you.
- You stay here with Tyler.
No, Tyler can be looked
after by Sugar. It's fine.
Oh, here we fucking go.
Where's my pig?
Where's Bernard?
- No idea what you're talking about.
- You know that's my pride and joy.
I don't know anything about
your stupid blonde life.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ah, ha ha ha!
Funny, is it? A man's love
for a fellow creature?
I hear you sleep with it.
Not with it. Same room.
I'm not bumming it.
Oh. Under the covers, I heard.
- So, you did fucking steal it.
- Oh, not me!
Tucked up in bed, me, alone.
Oh! Fine!
Have your fucking festival.
I hope it fucking rains.
And I hope your land gets ruined
and you can't grow any more crops.
And you go bankrupt and die poor
and fucking lonely.
- Bring back Bernard!
- Oi, Paslowski!
Your pig's a cunt.
Your pigs are cunts!
Fucking
Tyler said the police
have been round.
Yeah, they have.
- So, are you gonna tell me why?
- No.
- Why not?
- Because.
Erin, if someone's hurt you,
I swear to God
Vinnie, just look for your dad.
Bitch!
Oh, shit.
- What?
- Get out the car.
You're no goddess.
You're nothing
but a common fucking thief.
Oi! What you?
Bastard! You're lucky you've run.
Pound shop, M and M.
Erin. Oi. Erin.
Oi. Stop it.
What's going on?
Now, listen to me. You're gonna have
to tell me what's going on?
I'll stand here till you do.
I can't tell you, Vinnie.
Erin, please.
What's happened?
Fuck.
Someone hurt me. OK?
Who was it?
Erin, you have to tell me.
It was Aaron. It was Jake's
It was Jake's brother.
He attacked me in his car.
He tried to kiss me and
Then tried to run me over, left me
in the dirt at the side of the road.
I was scared, Vin.
I thought something terrible
was gonna happen.
It's all right. I'll deal with it.
- No, I don't want you No, honestly
- Hey, listen, to me.
You're my friend.
And you're the mother of my child,
I'm gonna deal with it.
- No, Vin no.
- Come here.
- Sweetheart, it's all right.
- Vinnie, I'm fine, honestly.
You go home now.
Go and be with Tyler.
Vin, don't.
Vinnie?
Avoid all eye contact ♪
Do not react ♪
This is a low-flying
panic attack ♪
Oh, shit.
Of sixpence that goes ♪
Burn the witch ♪
Burn the witch ♪
We know where you live ♪
We know where you live ♪
Check the latest updates ♪
Sing me all your news ♪
Come around five times a day ♪
You'd better think so, it's true ♪
Is this man ♪
Bothering you? ♪
Here we go!
Rocks
Dealers keep dealing
Thieves keep thieving
Bitches keep bitching
Ain't no use praying
That's the way it's staying,
baby ♪
- Dylan?
- Yeah?
- Can I have a word with you?
- OK.
- It's important. I just need to..
- What?
Just go in.
No, no, Erin,
it absolutely stinks in here.
I'm sorry.
For everything. I'm erm
I'm sorry I lied about the baby.
I'm sorry I lied to you
about Vinnie.
I fucked up, Dylan.
And I know you've moved on
and that's great
because Sara seems really lovely.
I hate that.
Erm
Anyway I just wanted to say that
I am really, really sorry.
And if I could turn back the clock,
I will.
I don't have a clue how to behave ♪
When I'm around you ♪
When I'm around you ♪
When I'm around you ♪
When I'm around ♪
Hiya, Vinnie.
Oh, hiya, love. Are you all right?
- Yeah, have you seen Dylan?
- Eh? Er
Nah. Healing fields probably.
Yeah. Here, do you want that?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? I'll come with you.
Is he proposing?
How do you fancy giving them love
birds the best present ever?
- Let's get married.
- Your cousin's wedding.
This one isn't just for money,
it's for love.
Dylan?
What am I supposed to do with that?
They found his body.
They've linked him to me.
- Hey! Hey!
- What the fuck have you told Sara?
- Grab this and I will get the elephant.
- What the fuck!
I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
Give me the strength to carry on ♪
Give me the strength to carry on ♪
There you go.
That's been flushed, cut, cured.
It's ready to smoke, that.
- How much you got?
- Shitloads of the stuff.
Unit's full to bursting.
We're harvesting it all now.
Here you are.
Got you a sample there.
Do I look like a man
who smokes weed?
I dunno. What does a man
who smokes weed look like? You.
You.
Last time I smoked a joint,
- I was wearing short trousers.
- Yeah?
Summer, was it? Eh?
Sunny day?
Yeah?
Go easy on it, though,
cos it's strong.
I'm fine.
Smashed out of my head,
know what I mean?
Sell it.
- Sell it?
- All of it.
No, I can't sell
Cos I'm a local weed dealer.
I only know a few people.
I invested.
Now I need a return.
All right.
Are you all right?
You're gonna have to ride it out,
man.
10, 20 minutes.
You need, like, a cold surface.
And, like, a Crunchie or a
The best things in life
are free ♪
- What you doing this weekend?
- Going to that festival. Chillfest.
Who's playing?
No idea. I'm just going to
get slaughtered in a field.
- A festival?
- A festival.
- A festival?
- A festival, yeah. As in?
As in a festival, you bell ends.
Are you out of your mind?
Just think about it.
It's the perfect solution.
We've got a shitload of weed
to get rid of here.
What's better than a field
literally full of pot-heads?
- We don't have a field. Or any bands.
- Or any toilets.
We'll get a field,
we'll get a band and we'll
get some toilets.
I think that's a great idea.
I love getting twatted in a field.
- What are you doing?
- Well, that's me, raving.
- Is that how you rave?
- Yeah.
Jesus, it looks like
a fuckin' seizure
Wait. There's an easier way.
- Yeah? Being?
- B-B-Budapest.
Fucking Budapest?
M-Massive weed shortage.
They can't get their hands on the stuff.
- Who's told you that?
- My chiropodist, Kelvin.
- Fucking mind boggles.
- Fuck me gently.
I've got it.
The bloke with the jowls.
The fat The fat face jowls.
Remember?
He's got a lock-up, six doors down
from the weed grow. Welsh lad, yes?
- Yes.
- Got it.
We were waiting for you lot one day
and this guy pulls up.
Personalised reg, gold on every
finger and he says
Are you lost? Can I help?
I mean, he is fucking full of it.
Right fucking show-off.
What's his name?
- Styles.
- Styles. That's it, because he says
Styles by name.
Styles by nature.
- Bell end.
- You're not wrong, yeah.
Anyway, he's bragging about his
business, tells us he's into
Beer festivals. Foodie Fridays.
Where there's nosh, there's dosh.
Started out in Eisteddfods,
but I outgrew Wales.
He shows us inside.
We're talking beer tents,
beer pumps, the works. It were
impressive. Took a shine to Erin.
And what's your name?
Erin.
Beautiful name.
Comes from the word Eros,
meaning love.
- Does it?
- You're a lucky man, Tommo.
You've got a beautiful woman.
Well, unless, this is
No, no, no neither of them,
actually.
Most I've had's a drunken lick.
Er, not with me, you haven't.
Yeah, I don't remember that.
To be honest, I don't know why
I said that. I was showing off.
Oh, well this is perfect, then,
innit?
Rip this knob head off.
That's half the festival sorted.
Yeah. He absolutely deserves it.
Yes, yes. Yes, but, there's er
one tiny little problem.
Have a gander. Eagle eyes.
You wanna get this.
Anyone breaks in, sends a message
straight to your iPhone. Look.
Nine, nine, nine.
Dibble coming running.
I know.
There we have it.
We need his phone firmly turned off.
We need him very very
distracted.
Nah, you you are kidding me.
- No, she's not doing that.
- Dylan, I can speak for myself.
All right, I'll do it.
But I'm not doing anything
until you've got a venue.
A festival? Here?
- Yeah.
- Fucking Tilly and Tarquin.
Fucking bank of mum and dad.
Never done a proper day's work
in their lives.
With their oversized sunglasses and
their fucking designer wellies!
"Oh, let's bring
down the government."
"Let all the immigrants in."
"Why can't we all live in peace
and harmony?"
Because we fucking can't!
And no amount of flowers
that you put in your fucking,
middle-class, henna'd, fucking hair
is gonna change that!
"Would anybody like
a disco biscuit?"
FUCK OFF!
Ta-da. Flatbed truck. JCB.
- You're a legend, man.
- Where've you got these from, you?
- My mate, Demolition Dave.
- Does he work in demolition?
Yeah. And his name's Dave.
Listen, we need to get down there.
As soon as we get the call from Erin,
it's on, all right?
Grand, yeah.
Cardi, come here.
Do you know what you're doing?
Yeah, circle the block,
eyes and ears.
That's right. What else?
Oh, er, don't put it in turbo boost.
Don't put it in turbo boost.
Cardi, if you see anyone,
you call me.
- Yeah.
- Fucking hell.
- Erin.
- Hi.
- Angel.
- Oh!
- Even more stunning than I remember.
- Aw, Stef.
You're looking good.
This old thing?
So, here we are.
The owner is a very close
personal friend of mine.
He'll look after us this evening.
I know. Come in. Come in.
Come inside.
Oh, a gentleman.
Right, this could be her, this.
- Hello?
- Vin, it's Vanessa.
Oh! I-I-I'm in a tunnel, Vanessa.
I'll have to call you back in a bit.
It's a bad reception, love.
Who's that?
It's my dad's girlfriend.
Enabler whatever you wanna call
her, she'll be after money.
To wonderful company. Iechyd da.
- Cheers?
- Cheers.
Ooh. Oh, that's like
like bathing your tongue
in the juices of a Princess.
Metaphorical.
Yeah. Course.
Now, I'm gonna turn this off.
I don't know about you, Stef, but I
hate phones being on in restaurants.
My sentiments exactly.
I just think it's really important
for us to
stay in the zone, you know,
not be distracted.
Mine's already off, my dear.
- OK.
- Cheers.
Cheers.
Right, get going. But whatever you
do, don't hang about. Right. Bye.
Do you remember the good old days
before the ghost town?
What the fuck are these three
three tanks?
Why's he got three tanks?
Did you mean 6B?
Cos this is six. 6B's next door.
Could be.
How the fuck can you
not remember, man?
Why the fuck would I remember?
Get that out of me face.
- 6. 6B. Just call it 6 and 7.
- Shit.
Fuck off, Vanessa.
Right. Oi. Oi!
Go and get your JCB.
Smash through that wall.
Through that wall?
This town
Town ♪
Ah, fuck!
Come quick. There's a m-m-man
with a m-m-m
- Machete?
- No, no, a m-m-m
- Machine gun?
- No, a m-m-m
s-s-snake!
- Cardi?
- 'C-C-Cops. You have to hurry.
Where the fuck? Where are they?
I'm leading 'em away.
I told 'em I'd seen a snake man.
- What do you mean, a snake man?
- A man with a snake. Hurry up.
Fucking snake man.
Do you know what I mean?
What's he doing, him? Oi. oi. Oi!
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Does it look like I'm fucking stalling?
Yeah, it looks like
you're having it caj, dude.
Sparking fags.
What do you think it is? Miami Vice?
Get the fuck off.
What are you supposed to be?
Decoration? Come the fuck on.
Ohh! Oh, yes.
Oh, Erin.
Oh.
Oh. Oh!
Oh, shit!
Oh, please don't be broken.
Fuck!
Shit.
Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Just here. He was down here.
- The snake man. He's down there.
- What shall we do him for?
Anything you like.
Woah. Woah. What you doing that for?
Go on, JJ.
Fuck.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
Thank fuck for that..
Oh, shit.
All right, boys.
Let's steal some stuff.
Ugh!
- Hey!
- I'm being robbed. Bloody robbed.
- You're joking.
- No, I'm not.
Police!
Look, yes, I'm being robbed.
Right this minute.
I've seen 'em on CCTV. They're in
my premises and they're robbing me.
- Shit.
- Stefan.
Stefan.
No, not Steve. Stefan. It's Welsh.
Just hurry the fuck up.
Just grab anything you can.
We should go, we've got enough.
- Can I have this?
- What do you want that for?
- I really like it.
- Just take it. Fuck.
Fuck off, Vanessa. Jesus Christ.
Erin.
He knows. Vin, he knows.
He's calling the police.
All right. All right.
We need to leave right now.
We need to leave.
JJ, Come on! Come on!
In the JCB!
Come on. We need to go now, boys.
Bloody hell! Jesus!
I don't know why your nicking me
when there's a snake man on t'loose.
Jesus Christ!
It's about as comfy
as a Ryanair flight, this is.
Fucking Slow down!
Fuck! No, no, no!
Dude, you really want that then,
don't you.
It reminds me of happier times.
Fuck me!
- Erin. Want a lift?
- Nah, you're all right, ta.
- He's still cut up, you know Jake.
- Yeah, I know. I can't chat.
- I've got to
- Erin! My Goddess, wait!
Shit! Can you take me home.
Yeah, yeah.
Vanessa. Look, whatever it is,
I don't care. I don't give a shit.
- It's your dad Vin.
- I don't care, Vanessa!
For fuck's sake.
Dude, will you slow the fuck down?
The pigs won't be far behind!
Oh, shit! That's not good.
No. No. No, no, no, no, no.
Bollocks!
Don't you fucking dare.
Agh!
Shit! Oh, my God.
- Shit.
- Shit.
Right, will you stop gawping, Ash,
put your fucking foot down!
For fuck's sake.
What?
It, it's your dad, Vin.
I think he's killed himself.
I told him it were over,
but he wouldn't have it.
He kept turning up at my house,
making all sorts of threats,
and then tonight he calls me and
tells me he's gonna kill himself.
And then he hangs up and I've called
and called but there's no reply.
What if he's?
D-Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
- It's all right. Come here.
- Oh, Vinnie.
I still love her.
It's all right. Sshh.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Are you OK?
Just call the police.
Wh-Wh-What?
Sugar just call the police.
One wallet.
One boiled egg. Cracked.
One 50%-off voucher
for Pitta Patter kebab shop.
One troll.
And erm three choco bars.
All correct?
D-D-Didn't I have
a D-Double D-Decker?
No.
Fucking arseholes!
See you later.
New car, Vincent? Very retro.
All I could get last minute.
What are you wearing, man?
- What?
- That get up.
It's what I wear at home.
You're not at home.
You're in t'bloody woods?
Yeah, well,
you said it was an emergency.
It's not so urgent,
you couldn't put some pants on.
- I've got some pants on.
- Have you fuck.
- Is that a rabbit?
- Yeah.
Aw, look at him. Hello.
- He's lovely.
- Never mind the rabbit.
- Have you got boxers on under there?
- Course I've got boxers on.
Well, show me, then.
All right.
You.. Fuck me.
- 'Ey, no.
- 'Ey!
Look at that. Commando in the woods
is how we're meant to live, Vincent.
It's tiny.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
He's in a bad way, Vin.
His liver's dangerously enlarged,
his heart beat's way up,
his blood pressure's low.
If he keeps drinking, he's
Well, he'll be dead in a few days.
Fuck!
Oh, fuck, he's gonna end up killing
himself. He has to drink every day.
It's the only way he can cope.
He's an addict.
Well, rehab clinic?
They're expensive.
How much will that cost?
There's a pretty good facility
quite near here.
I know the woman who runs it.
Melanie.
Fucking incredible.
- Oh, now, fuck Now, no
- What?
- No, man.
- What?
Not cool, you can't just segue
off my dad dying on to Melanie's
incredible fucking blow jobs.
- Dinner parties.
- That's not. Now, that
Chris-She gives incredible
dinner parties'.
No-one does that.
Who does that at a dinner party?
- Do you want me to call her or not?
- Yes, I fucking do.
He picked me up outside the Wood
Street restaurant, about half-ten.
He said he was passing.
I thought it was a bit weird.
Anyway, I got in.
Who were you at the restaurant with?
Er, he's a businessman.
Like, a work thing.
Who?
Which businessman?
Well, that's irrelevant, innit?
OK, so you got into Arron's car.
And tell me what happened?
He started to drive and he said
So, how does it feel
to be a free agent?
Or is there someone else
on the scene?
No. No-one else.
Just didn't work out, me and Jake.
I know he can be a bit uptight.
Or was it the sex?
Please tell me
he was terrible in bed.
I didn't wanna talk about Jake.
And I certainly didn't wanna talk
about sex with him,
but he just kept going on, and on.
Not in an aggressive way, but,
like, he was sort of enjoying it.
Anyway I had enough and I said
You know what?
I can I can walk from here.
Oh no, no. Don't worry.
I can take you home.
Or we could go out
for a drink, if you like.
Er, home, please.
It's quite late.
Let's go home.
And then he goes quiet.
And he was going faster
and faster and faster
Aaron.
Aaron, slow down.
Aaron.
One drink, Erin. One drink.
- You're gonna kill us. Please!
- Who cares?
Me? I've got a son!
Slow down! Now!
One drink, Erin, and I'll slow down.
Fuck. Right, one drink! One drink!
Shit!
- Kiss me.
- Fuck off.
- Come on, one kiss. You'll like it.
- Get off.
- I'm better than Jake.
- Get your hand off! Get off.
- What is it with you?
- Get off!
- Aaron!
- Screwed goody two shoes.
What?
What's so special about him?
I'm the real deal, Erin.
- I'm better than him Erin.
- Get off. Get off me now.
OK, listen, we'll go and speak
with him straight away.
That's a serious assault.
I just kept thinking about my son.
What would happen to Tyler
Yeah, I understand.
Would you like us to arrange
a visit from Victim Support?
No.
'Ey. How's your Ronnie doing?
Is he still in prison?
Theft, GBH.
He's a lovely lad, isn't he, Erin?
I still remember all the good times ♪
Long days ♪
Filled with sunshine ♪
And just a little bit of rain ♪
Mm ♪
Melanie. Russell.
If you should look back ♪
Try to forget all the bad times ♪
The lonely blue and sad times ♪
Just a little bit of rain.. ♪
Sure, yeah. Glad to help, yeah.
Just a little bit of rain ♪
Just a little bit of rain ♪
Just a little bit of rain ♪
He never sleeps.
Fuck me.
Never gets any rest at all.
He's always puking.
Or pissing himself.
Then he gets frustrated and angry.
Rants to himself.
Then smashes things up in the house,
like fucking bottles and that.
TV might go over.
He never does anything too drastic,
though, like, he never..
It's like even when he's fucking
out of his mind,
there's this small part
of him that thinks
"I can't put a window through."
You know, summat like that.
"Can't put a window through, I'll have
to get a fucking guy to come round."
"Spend money that I haven't got."
"He's gonna see the state
of my house."
I really miss my dad.
Come here. Come on.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Sorry.
Are you all right?
Ow! Jesus!
Aargh.
- You burn your arse?
- Yeah.
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky ♪
Little Boxes, little boxes ♪
Little boxes all the same ♪
There's a green one,
then a pink one ♪
And a blue one and a yellow one ♪
And they're all
made out of ticky-tacky ♪
And they all look just the same. ♪
And they all play
on the golf course ♪
And drink their martini dry ♪
And they all have pretty children ♪
And the children go to school ♪
And the children go to summer camp ♪
And then to the university ♪
And they all get put in boxes ♪
And they all come out the same ♪
- He says you attacked him.
- He's chatting shit.
He says you were drunk, legless,
and you came onto him.
When he rebuffed you,
you got aggressive.
What, and you believe him, do you?
It would help if you give us the name
of the man in the restaurant.
- For fuck sake, I can't, I can't.
- Why not?
Because I can't.
Without evidence,
it's just your word against Aaron's.
All right, fine.
Nice middle class boy versus
you.
Why don't you go and bum
a fucking dog, Carl?
Go on. Go and bum a dog.
Get out.
Get out of my house, right now.
- Go on.
- That's probably everything, then.
Since you've been gone ♪
Since you've been gone ♪
I'm out of my head,
can't take it ♪
Hmm.
- Oh, oh, oh ♪
- Oh, fucking hell. He's shit, isn't he?
- Yeah, I know.
- He's delusional.
They're a bunch of fat dads.
But he says that if we
give him a good slot
he'll pay for the stage,
lights, and mixing desk.
Fuck it, he's in, then.
Have we got any good bands?
A couple of local bands, glad of
the exposure, a few of '90s bands.
And Mark Owen
from Take That offered,
but I said we weren't
that desperate.
Who else?
- Well only Europe's leading DJ.
- Who's that?
Dead Moose.
Bloody brilliant, that.
Who's made that?
Erin.
Where is she?
I haven't seen her for days.
She's not answering her phone.
How hard can it be? Drop a few
tunes, mix 'em together.
- What's going on here?
- What the?
Well, wouldn't you like to know?
Get the fuck out of my house.
I would like to know, because
I see a lot of coming and going
and I know you're up to something.
Oh, well you know what they say.
Nosey shot the crow.
No-one says that.
What? Course they do.
- Have you ever heard that?
- No, never heard that.
Course you have! Fucking
Nosey shot the crow.
Fucking, you know, don't be
Don't be sticking that, your nose,
where it doesn't belong.
It makes no sense. If Nosey's
sticking his beak in,
why does he shoot the crow?
What's the crow done
and how's that punishment?
- The crow that's come off worse.
- He's got a point, Jim.
That is
It's just a fucking you know
a proverb, a fucking
Softly, softly, catchy monkey.
Yeah, and who the fuck goes around
catching monkeys?
Those little buggers shift fast.
It doesn't matter how softly you go,
you wanna catch a monkey,
you need a bag of peanuts and even
then there's no guarantee.
Thank God we sorted it
in the end, though, eh?
Piss off, will you?
I will, but I'll leave you
with this.
Clause 7C, section 14
of the public events act, 1973.
Permission must be sought and agreed
by any neighbour
within a two-mile radius.
And for you, that's me.
Have that, Nosey.
Crow's fighting back.
You blonde prick!
Polish arsehole!
Fuck off!
That's a problem.
Erin. Erin.
Erin, Erin, Erin.
Erin.
What's all this?
- What's all what?
- This. This. This
Oh, yeah, I get it.
You can you see my aura?
No, but I can see your hippie beads,
and what is that on your neck?
Yeah, check it out, man.
You know what that is?
Buddha the God of wonder.
Why have you got it?
Right, the er
Ronald Horatio Croft
that you used to exist
Yeah?
Born again.
OK, I've been converted.
I've seen the light, Erin.
- Which means I'm three things.
- What?
I'm peace. I'm love,
and I'm fucking understanding, Erin.
- Well
- So, it doesn't matter,
that the, the, like, like,
my, my, my cell mate, you know.
Who's fffffucking irritating,
and he's, he is, you know.
He scratches his arsehole just raw.
Not even through pants,
with his fingers direct.
He pisses about with all the
liquorice bits in between his toes.
- Fucking hell, it's disgusting.
- It's fucking disgusting, Erin.
But it don't matter
cos of how I am these days.
All right? Nothing can, kind of,
penetrate my inner zen.
And all I say is that
that is Jah Rastafari.
Yeah. I get it, it's a ploy.
- What's a ploy?
- To get out early. I get it.
- A ploy?
- Yeah.Wow. Can you believe that?
- Who are you talking to?
- Erin, do you know what?
I've already set my foot.
- Oh, my God.
- On the road to Domestos.
- Oh, Damascas.
- Erin, I've genuinely opened up
- a new leaf.
- Why do you always get it wrong?
It's turned over.
Turned over a new
leaf, whatever, der, der, der, der.
But do you know what I'm a bit like
at the minute?
What?
I'm a little bit like
a bald John Lennon.
- Right.
- I'm out there, just searching, pow,
searching for my Yoko.
OK?
I'm not saying actually Yoko,
you know,
cos, like,
she was a bit weird, wasn't she?
Not in like a racist way,
or anything like that, but like
Like Yoko, but a fit Yoko, blonde,
I don't know.
Jah Rastafari to that, sir.
Anyway how are you?
Come on. Come on.
Anyway
Do you remember in school?
When I got locked in the bogs
with Mark Carver?
Hm.
- He tried to feel
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just fucking battered him
straight into the sink.
But, well, the old me,
that was the old me, man.
- That was so aggressive.
- You said,
if anything happened like that
again, I need to tell you.
Yeah?
Oh, you fuck
Do you know what we're
gonna have to do about this?
What?
Let's bless their soul.
Join me and gain redemption.
Ommm
Ronnie.
- Ronnie?
- Ommm
- Ronnie, what are you doing?
- It's like Buddhism.
Ronnie, please stop omming.
Stop it.
Erin, if I don't omm, I'll do
I'll do summat else. Or omm with me.
- You are embarrassing me.
- Ommmm
Stop.
Everyone's looking.
People are looking now.
- Stop it. You know what, forget it?
- I think you're right to be honest.
- It does get you a little bit.
- People are looking you.
- You don't even care, do you?
- Fuck, the Monks do it for ages, man.
They sit at the top
of a mountain saying, omm.
- Fuck's sake.
- They look cool, when they do it.
No, they don't. You certainly don't.
Turn round.
Remember? If it squeals we gag it?
If it fights, we bag it.
You been working
on that little rhyme?
No, actually,
I just came up with it.
Why have you taken your balaclava
off to talk?
I like you to see my face.
Does that not defeat the purpose of
wearing it in the first place?
Let's just get on with it, shall we?
Fucking hell.
- Where is the little bastard?
- Probably asleep.
Interestingly, they have very
similar sleep cycle to humans, pigs.
You know when you start
a sentence "interestingly",
it's important to honour
that promise.
Shit, Shirley! Fuck.
You said he wasn't home!
Fucking Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
Hang on.
- He's sleep walking.
- Oh, my heart stopped.
Jesus Christ, that's taken years
off me, that has, years.
Who fucking sleepwalks?
Don't shine it on him.
It's very common, actually.
Some people sleep eat, sleep drive.
And in my experience,
even furiously sleep masturbate.
- Fucking hell.
- Right, lads.
It's not in here, lads.
- Oh
- What's this?
- He has it in bed with him?
- Each to their own. You grab it.
- You grab it.
- JJ?
- Go on grab it.
- Oh, Christ's sake.
Come on, JJ.
Here, piggy, piggy.
Ahh!
Fucking hell.
- Ahh!
- JJ?
Well, you try fucking holding
a wriggling pig.
Una Zebra A Pois ♪
Una zebra ♪
A pois ♪
Here we go!
- He does talk.
- He doesn't.
He does.
- Watch him.
- Give me a biscuit.
- That was you.
- No, it was him.
It was you.
Can I ask you a question, man to man?
Your mum I don't know.
She just doesn't seem herself.
It's ever since the police came.
The Police?
They came one day. And Sugar said
it was about a bad man.
A bad man.
Do you know who the bad man was?
No.
But mum knows because she had to
tell them all about him.
All right. Give me a love.
You go and put your bag upstairs.
Hi, Auntie Sugar!
I thought you were
having him all day.
I can't, I'm sorry.
My dad's gone AWOL from rehab.
I'm gonna have to look for him.
I've got to nick a car and everything.
- I'll come with you.
- You stay here with Tyler.
No, Tyler can be looked
after by Sugar. It's fine.
Oh, here we fucking go.
Where's my pig?
Where's Bernard?
- No idea what you're talking about.
- You know that's my pride and joy.
I don't know anything about
your stupid blonde life.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ah, ha ha ha!
Funny, is it? A man's love
for a fellow creature?
I hear you sleep with it.
Not with it. Same room.
I'm not bumming it.
Oh. Under the covers, I heard.
- So, you did fucking steal it.
- Oh, not me!
Tucked up in bed, me, alone.
Oh! Fine!
Have your fucking festival.
I hope it fucking rains.
And I hope your land gets ruined
and you can't grow any more crops.
And you go bankrupt and die poor
and fucking lonely.
- Bring back Bernard!
- Oi, Paslowski!
Your pig's a cunt.
Your pigs are cunts!
Fucking
Tyler said the police
have been round.
Yeah, they have.
- So, are you gonna tell me why?
- No.
- Why not?
- Because.
Erin, if someone's hurt you,
I swear to God
Vinnie, just look for your dad.
Bitch!
Oh, shit.
- What?
- Get out the car.
You're no goddess.
You're nothing
but a common fucking thief.
Oi! What you?
Bastard! You're lucky you've run.
Pound shop, M and M.
Erin. Oi. Erin.
Oi. Stop it.
What's going on?
Now, listen to me. You're gonna have
to tell me what's going on?
I'll stand here till you do.
I can't tell you, Vinnie.
Erin, please.
What's happened?
Fuck.
Someone hurt me. OK?
Who was it?
Erin, you have to tell me.
It was Aaron. It was Jake's
It was Jake's brother.
He attacked me in his car.
He tried to kiss me and
Then tried to run me over, left me
in the dirt at the side of the road.
I was scared, Vin.
I thought something terrible
was gonna happen.
It's all right. I'll deal with it.
- No, I don't want you No, honestly
- Hey, listen, to me.
You're my friend.
And you're the mother of my child,
I'm gonna deal with it.
- No, Vin no.
- Come here.
- Sweetheart, it's all right.
- Vinnie, I'm fine, honestly.
You go home now.
Go and be with Tyler.
Vin, don't.
Vinnie?
Avoid all eye contact ♪
Do not react ♪
This is a low-flying
panic attack ♪
Oh, shit.
Of sixpence that goes ♪
Burn the witch ♪
Burn the witch ♪
We know where you live ♪
We know where you live ♪
Check the latest updates ♪
Sing me all your news ♪
Come around five times a day ♪
You'd better think so, it's true ♪
Is this man ♪
Bothering you? ♪
Here we go!
Rocks
Dealers keep dealing
Thieves keep thieving
Bitches keep bitching
Ain't no use praying
That's the way it's staying,
baby ♪
- Dylan?
- Yeah?
- Can I have a word with you?
- OK.
- It's important. I just need to..
- What?
Just go in.
No, no, Erin,
it absolutely stinks in here.
I'm sorry.
For everything. I'm erm
I'm sorry I lied about the baby.
I'm sorry I lied to you
about Vinnie.
I fucked up, Dylan.
And I know you've moved on
and that's great
because Sara seems really lovely.
I hate that.
Erm
Anyway I just wanted to say that
I am really, really sorry.
And if I could turn back the clock,
I will.
I don't have a clue how to behave ♪
When I'm around you ♪
When I'm around you ♪
When I'm around you ♪
When I'm around ♪
Hiya, Vinnie.
Oh, hiya, love. Are you all right?
- Yeah, have you seen Dylan?
- Eh? Er
Nah. Healing fields probably.
Yeah. Here, do you want that?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? I'll come with you.
Is he proposing?
How do you fancy giving them love
birds the best present ever?
- Let's get married.
- Your cousin's wedding.
This one isn't just for money,
it's for love.
Dylan?
What am I supposed to do with that?
They found his body.
They've linked him to me.
- Hey! Hey!
- What the fuck have you told Sara?
- Grab this and I will get the elephant.
- What the fuck!
I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
Give me the strength to carry on ♪
Give me the strength to carry on ♪