Carter (2018) s02e05 Episode Script

1 Just turn your wrists a little more, think of something or someone specific.
It'll help keep your strikes focused.
Guess who I'm thinking of? How's everything with you and J.
Boyle? Good.
Fine.
I think he's happy with my work.
He's happy with you.
What? No, no, he's been nothing but professional, respectful.
Dude, he's my boss.
The two are not mutually exclusive.
That person can have a thing for someone.
You ever think maybe you have a thing for him? No.
And no.
Look I get it.
He's "other side of the pillow" cool.
He's got that New York swagger.
But I'm sorry, the two of you could never have a thing.
Cop with cop, that just can't be a thing.
People don't have "things" that's only on TV.
Things are real.
You and I, we have a thing.
We don't have a thing.
Oh, we have a thing.
I've seen this on a million shows.
The two leads, that's us, they have a long history with each other.
They work well together, sparky banter, there's a connection.
There's a thing.
Look, we have no choice.
People want it, they see it in us, there's no avoiding it.
I'm avoiding it pretty easily.
Okay.
You know what, let me tell you how it's gonna happen.
We're gonna be on a case, we're gonna be forced into some tight quarters, - like a closet or a sauna.
- A sauna? It it doesn't have to be a sauna.
That's not the point.
The point is we're gonna be super close, we're gonna have to be quiet.
There's danger outside.
Our lips are gonna be millimetres apart.
The chemistry's gonna be electric and boom! We're gonna kiss.
If there's fireworks, that's confirmation.
If not, writers gotta get back to work.
Wow, sounds like great TV, but that is not happening.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING) Oh, hold on a second.
Boyle wants to see you in his office.
He texted you? He must really want you in his office.
(THUDDING) You wanted to see me right away? Shaw, what do you know about the Harthan family? The diamond mining Harthans out of Vancouver? More money than they know what to do with? What about them? Well, they're on something of a national tour, allowing people to view a rarely seen diamond that makes the rock from Titanic look like a Skittle.
Helps raise money for their town.
And they've picked Bishop as one of the stops.
Yay for Bishop? Yes, yay, but they received an anonymous tip about the possible theft of the stone.
Normally I would just triple up on security, send some bodies in there, but this is more than just protecting the stone.
This is about finding out who might be planning on taking it.
So where is this going? The Harthans, they have a daughter, Wilhelmina.
She used to be a socialite, seen at all the openings, parties.
Rumour is she had some sort of a breakdown.
This was gonna be her first public appearance.
Why does this just feel like the set up? This is a photo of the Harthan family.
You want me to go undercover? Please tell me you're joking.
If I were joking, you'd be laughing Wilhelmina.
SAM: This is my first undercover anything, and I'm not an actress! You've gotta trust me on this, okay? This is what I do.
I need six hours, some fine china, and a healthy disdain for the little people, and I will transform you into Wilhelmina Harthan.
But first, we start with this.
You want me to read the unauthorized biography of Judd Nelson? What? No.
Cool.
Didn't realize I had that.
No, I want you to balance it on your head and walk around.
We are gonna work on your posture.
Yeah, not gonna happen.
Okay Dave, put Judd on your head, show Sam how it's done.
Okay, Harley, I gotta say I have zero interest in taking any part of this job of helping the one percenters.
If I have to spend one iota of a second helping these country club snobs, I will end up being the one getting arrested.
Come on, we used to love breaking into that country club on summer nights.
Remember we'd steal a golf cart, drive all crazy, do those insane putts on the putting green with the sticks and wiffle balls? Remember the Sand Wedge Willy? What, between the legs, off the 19th hole sign and off the golf cart? No, don't remember it at all.
Harley, that shot is impossible.
Okay, forget about the posture lesson let's just skip right ahead to the - tea cup holding symposium.
- I know how to hold a teacup.
You do not know how to hold a tea cup.
- I know how to hold a tea cup.
- I've seen you hold a tea cup.
You hold a tea cup like a peasant.
You hold a tea cup like a commoner, they will peg you in two seconds and this whole mission will be compromised! Take the tea cup.
Thank you.
Now here's the trick, acting rich and drinking tea.
Boom the pinky.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's the “money pinky”.
- I'm not doing the pinky.
- Let's see a pinky.
Not doing the pinky.
- No.
No.
- Look, look, money, money, money.
- Look how rich we are.
- We're not doing the pinky.
Sam, it's how Judd Nelson drinks his tea.
Okay, can we just stop with the pinky and the book.
That is not what I need help with.
Okay? Here is a file on Wilhelmina.
I have been reading it over and over and over.
I know what she likes to eat for breakfast, I know what her favourite colour is, I know what she wrote her college thesis on Judd Nelson? The problem is it's just words on a page and it's all just blending together.
This is good.
This is good.
You're doing your research.
You're getting into character.
Let's test you.
Wilhelmina was born in British Columbia.
What town? - Chilliwack? - Wrong.
Coquitlam.
Oh.
Right, sorry, Coquitlam.
Wrong! Chilliwack! That's what I'm talking about.
When you go in deep undercover, you say something you believe it, they believe it.
Oh, so that's what acting's all about? You're just lying.
Like lying, lying liar? Yes, Dave.
That's it.
You get me.
You finally get me.
Sam, look, I don't want to scare you, but you're about to go in deep.
And sometimes lines between you and Wilhelmina are gonna be blurred.
And then you're Johnny Depp in Donnie Brasco.
You know, I don't want you to be so deep that we're like, "Sam, Sam, are you in there? Sam come back to us.
" "Sam we love you.
Sam, come home.
" "Come home, Sam.
" Oh my God, there is something wrong with you! Like internally, in the brain, where most people have an off switch.
This operation is happening tomorrow and I come to you, my best friend, stupidly, for help, and you're turning this whole thing into a joke.
None of this is helpful.
Okay, so you may know how to act, or pretend, or lie, or whatever you want to call it, but I am a cop, and I have instincts of my own, so I am gonna just rely on those to get me through whatever is coming at me, all right? How does that sound? You're ready.
(PROTESTERS CHANTING OUTSIDE) I told your police chief this will never work.
Your posture is insane.
And I do not know where you were going with that outfit, but you most certainly did not get there.
Well, it's not my dream job either, but it is my duty.
Those protestors are ill informed.
They are lumping us in with every other company.
BELLE: Huey, honey, don't get your heart rate going, I only brought so many of your blood pressure pills.
Okay, stay close to me when we exit, do not stop, keep moving until I know we are inside.
And you try not to stomp when you walk.
Wilhelmina has the natural grace of a ballerina.
(PROTESTERS SHOUTING) Shame on you! Blood is on your conscience! Boo! Shame on you! Mr.
And Mrs.
Harthan.
Byron Kane, president of the country club.
I am so sorry about those pesky protestors.
But it is a great honour of mine to be hosting your family and this illustrious diamond.
And what a special treat to find the lovely Wilhelmina has chosen Bishop to return to the public eye! I promise to do everything I can to make your family comfortable.
Uh, how, how lovely and greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Well, Ta-ta.
Toodle-oo! Well, young lady.
What exactly is it you're going to do to find out who is after our diamond? If I took over as CEO, you would know it, and you could tell Riggins, he'd have to stay on his toes.
(LAUGHING) If that was the case, then he would be my late husband.
Am I right? (LAUGHING) MAN: Willa? Hey, now.
Have you been avoiding me? Duff.
Duff Stubbins, the Oh, I no, Duff.
Yes, no.
Yes, I you you You don't answer your phone anymore.
I was hoping we could pick up where we left off all those years ago.
Don't tell me you don't remember St.
Moritz.
(LAUGHING) You ever find your red bra? Oh, my my you know, I don't I don't know what happened to that old thing.
You seem different somehow.
Not quite yourself.
I can't quite peg it.
Oh okay MAN: Wilhelmina! Duff, would you excuse me for just one quick second? Sure, you can run but you can't hide.
What are you doing here? And what are you wearing? Come on, there's a dress code here.
You don't get to have all the fun.
Plus, you seemed to be in a little bit of a jam back there.
That guy, Duff Stubbins and I, me I mean, Wilhelmina, apparently had some sort of thing, none of which was in the packet, but it's okay.
I would have thought of something.
Well, now you don't have to, because I am here.
I do not need you here, I am doing fine other than my fake mother hating me.
Besides, Boyle assigned this to me.
This is a special covert operation.
I am the epitome of covert, okay? I get it.
This undercover stuff is subtle, delicate, nuanced.
Duffy! You old bastard! I'm coming in for a hug! This is gonna be so much fun! How do you and Willa know each other? Is it an interesting story? Well, I was on family vay-cay, our parents go way back.
And we got snowed in at the same lodge, trying to escape our respective families, so I bought a couple hot chocolates, we cozied up, talked about our hopes, our dreams, and let's just say, it was a magical evening.
Magic! Willa does love her magic.
How about you Stubby, you into magic, sleight of hand? Making things disappear? I'm not a magician.
I'm a gemologist.
Diamond trade.
So how do you know TV's Harley Carter? Um, Willa was a was a fan, huge fan.
Little bit of a psycho.
Um, lot of messages on social media.
Then came the letters, pages and pages, hand written um, cute little stickers on there, it was They were suggestions really, you know, how to improve, be a better actor not chew the scenery.
That kind of thing.
Anyway we finally met face to face, "faccia to faccia".
The poets have described it way better than I can over the years.
DUFF: I'm sure, I'm sure they have.
Willa is my diamond.
Is this the first drink you've made in your life? Do you not know what a twist is? I mean, I'm trying not to be overwhelmed by citrus here.
You just, you rub the rind on the rim, you don't assault the glass with it.
WAITER: I am so sorry Mr.
Stubbins.
- I'm new.
I'll do better next time.
- Thank you.
BYRON: Ladies and gentleman, the Harthan Diamond will be unveiled in five minutes, if you'd like to gather 'round, please.
Excuse me.
What were you just doing? I'm doing my thing.
I'm working him, okay.
He is definite suspect.
Gemologist? Diamond trade? That's just fancy talk for jewel thief.
I don't disagree, but I was talking about you making us a couple! Would you rather be hooking up with Duffy? Willa would rather not date either of you.
Well, Willa should talk to the audience, because they think we have a thing.
Oh, jeez.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Harthan Diamond! Isn't it magnificent? I just want to take a moment to thank the Harthans for their generosity, and for the chance to lay eyes on one of nature's priceless creations.
Amazing fluorescence.
Brilliant.
Round cut and twinning wisps.
Twinning wisps? A ribbon of pinpoints caused by natural distortion, created during the growing of the crystal.
Perfection in its imperfections.
It is its asymmetry that makes it truly unique, and unbelievably valuable.
How valuable? Well, it seems a bit uncouth to say in front of Willa.
Its auction value would exceed 12.
8 million.
Possibly more in a private sale.
Private sale? What is that? Black market? BYRON: People, people, please.
Not too close to the glass, as it is laser sensor secured.
Will we be given an opportunity to lick the diamond? I'm sorry? - What are you doing?! - I'm inciting him.
It's how you can see how someone really is.
Yes, licking.
While unconventional, it's an accurate way to test a stone's carats, facets, twinning wispiness all through licking.
Young man, what is the matter with you? Sir, this is TV's Harley Carter You're not helping Stubbins, you're not helping.
I don't care what his name is.
I don't care what his pretend career is.
You are not a member of the club.
You don't belong here.
So why don't you just walk yourself out before I have you removed.
I am a member of many clubs.
The Lorenzo Llamas fan club.
for one.
We're taking new applicants by the way, if anyone wants in.
(STAMMERING ANGRILY) SAM: He's with me.
Still, we have a strict jacket policy in the Diamond Display Room.
I am wearing formal boxer briefs, fitted.
(CELL PHONE QUACKING) You know what, I have to go.
My friend wants me to meet him in the cloakroom.
In the movies, two things happen in cloakrooms.
One of them is murder.
That better be why we're here.
Please, this is the last place I want to be.
Listen.
Boyle came by the truck today.
He knows everything about our investigation into him.
How did he find out about it? Okay, I kinda panicked and I let the cat out of the bag.
But he didn't even care! He wasn't even surprised.
- Oh this is not good - Oh, Mr.
Kane - This is not good at all.
- What, what isn't good?! The president of the club, he's kinda up my butt right now, and you being here is not going to help that.
Okay, I'm outta here.
No, no, no you're not.
You have to stay.
- No, no please.
- Stop, hold on one second.
- Just give me one second.
- Let me leave.
Let me leave.
- Dave, please let me just think.
- I can - Yes, put this on.
- No.
- Put it on.
- No.
I really have to go, so if we can carry on this later, that'd be terrific.
Excuse me.
Bye, now.
WOMAN: No, no, it really is Harley, you can't force a jacket on someone! Next arm.
Let's go.
Are you drinking in the hallway? - WOMAN: Yes, but - That's a no-no.
Now if anyone talks to you, don't say a word.
- What? - You understand me? You just shut your mouth.
Don't say anything! I know, it's a rule.
I don't make the rules.
That's your character.
You just don't say anything! - My character? - Your character.
BYRON: Mr.
Carter! What are you doing now, and who is this? You told me to get a jacket, and I am a 42 long, and I just wanted to see how that translates in d-bag sizes.
This is Horace Thimble's son, of the Philadelphia Thimbles.
I'm sure you've heard of the Thimble family.
I may have, maybe.
This is Thim-Thim Thimble the third.
Their family is thinking about adding this club to their portfolio.
You may be working for this one someday real soon.
Well, I wasn't aware the board was considering selling.
How you been meeting with the board? I knew they were gonna meet behind my back.
I knew.
I knew.
(ALARM SOUNDING) We apprehended her, she tried to steal the diamond.
Guess she's got something new to protest about.
What's going on with you, man? Why are you standing like that? I wasn't trying to steal that diamond.
No, you just wanted to get a better look, say hi.
Look, I'm a protester, not a thief.
You know, I got something that's been driving me nuts.
What do you do when the to-go container is recyclable, but the lid isn't? Oh, I'm sorry, diamond mining practices your only cause? Are you not a do-gooder in general? Collect plastic on the beach, save the whales? - Ever hug a tree? - Yeah.
I have.
You know, I love all living things, and I believe in what I was doing.
I was gonna spray that diamond with red paint to symbolize the lives that were ruined for profit.
That's a noble and criminal story.
But here's the thing, Priya.
My guys didn't find any red paint can in your bag.
What, you think there was gonna be a paint store by the display? - It was stolen from my bag.
- And who'd want to do that? One of the other protestors.
'Cause they aren't real.
They seemed pretty real to me.
They were paid to be there, to hold signs and chant.
Paid? By who? I paid those protestors to convince Hugh that this whole thing isn't worth it.
His health is suffering.
I want off this train, I want to stop touring, and I want out of the diamond business.
I mean, there's gotta be an easier way.
I pleaded with Hugh, but he won't listen.
He is proud, and he's stubborn, and he feels obligated to pay it forward.
But I want my family back.
Okay, Carter.
I accept your putting challenge, but only if you make it interesting.
What do you say to, I don't know, five hundo per putt? - Kane will stake me.
- (LAUGHING DRAMATICALLY) Five hundo a putt? Please.
I can find that kind of change in the crack of my couch cushions.
Let's make it really interesting.
A thousand a putt.
Thim-Thim will stake me.
What the hell are you doing?! We've been playing this course since we were kids.
We know every nook and cranny of this putting green.
We got this.
- Shall we? - Oh, we shall.
Can I ask you, what exactly happened with Wilhelmina? She has a smile that can light up a room, like yours.
But she rebelled.
And I did the only thing I knew to do.
I pushed back harder and did everything I could to fix her messes and to protect her.
But it backfired.
And now here I am, talking to a cop instead of my daughter.
What about you? Sam, do you talk to your mother? Sometimes.
But she's not around anymore.
Oh You know I never got the chance to tell her this, but I can tell you, as a daughter, you don't need to solve all your kids' problems.
Sometimes we just need to be heard.
Let me just line this up.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, you seeing that there? There it goes, I can see it.
Uh, huh, yeah.
You can feel it.
Yeah there it is its going right to left.
I got this now, okay.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, uh-huh.
Okay, uh-huh.
(SMACKING LIPS) Okay Ouch.
Well that puts you down 2K.
At this rate, Thim-Thim and I are going to have to steal that diamond ourselves in order to pay off this debt.
(ALL LAUGHING) Well, that raises an interesting question.
How would we go about doing that? Stealing the diamond, if we were jewel thieves.
Cracking codes on alarm systems, not really my strong suit.
Any ideas, Stubbins? All right, Carter, I'll play your hypothetical "If I were a diamond thief.
" Well, I'll tell you this much, I'd be like the male Catherine Zeta Jones.
Acrobatic moves, tight leather pants.
Or I'd descend from the ceiling.
I mean, either way it'd just be for show.
I have more than actor money.
See my car back there? That limited edition red jobbie.
Yeah, it's cute.
I used to have one.
It's a good starter car.
Easy with the tables! Oh, would you look at that? I just got richer.
SAM: What about Duff Stubbins? He and Wilhelmina apparently had some sort of tryst? Oh, well you might call it that, but Willa would never have taken him seriously.
- Why do you say that? - Because he's a fool, and everything that comes out of that boy's mouth is a lie.
His family made some bad investments and now they're in terrible financial trouble.
But he wears a Rolex and drives a fancy car.
It's all a sham.
He is one car payment away from riding a bike with a bell on it.
HARLEY: There's nothing to it but to do it.
And Well, now you're down $6000.
Not that I'm keeping score.
Well, we know when we're beat.
Thim-Thim, pull out your check book and pay the man.
BYRON: What's the matter, Thimble? You look a little flush? It's just a friendly parlour game amongst gentlemen.
We are men of business.
Well, I've played men of business.
What's your line, Kane? Well, recently I've been buying up abandoned buildings in Bishop.
Gonna make a fortune.
But I'll tell you what the best feeling in the world is.
It's when somebody owes you something.
'cause when somebody owes you something, that is power.
Wouldn't you agree? Hold on a second, Thim-Thim.
Put that check book away.
What do you fellas say we make this interesting? Double or nothing.
One shot.
For lack of a better name, let's call it, "The Sand Wedge Willy".
I'm going to hit the ball between my legs, behind my back.
It's gonna hit that 19th hole sign, ricochet off the golf cart and into the cup.
I make it we're even, I miss, you're up 12K.
- What do you say, Stubbins? - Oh, you're on.
Okay, Sand Wedge Willy, it's been a little while.
Right there, through the legs, Sand Wedge Willy.
Okay.
I know how this goes.
Sand Wedge Willy.
(SCREAMING) I was so scared there for a second, thinking you were gonna risk all that money on a stupid fluke chance, but you must have been practicing that shot like a madman for this very moment.
You dog! It was a fluke.
It was a total fluke.
- What?! - I can't believe I made it.
Fellas, Thim-Thim and I are gonna get gussied up for the gala.
We will see you fellas tonight for the festivities.
Were the calf garters necessary? They're strangling my calves.
All part of the role, buddy.
All part of the role.
My role? I don't have any lines, Harley.
Whoa Holy moly, Wilhelmina.
Look at you! Oh, thank you, Dave, it's all pins and tape.
Could fall apart at any second.
You look beautiful.
Thank you, you look pretty good yourself.
All pins and tape.
Could fall apart at any second.
Wilhelmina, I would like to introduce you to Joyce Boyle, our Interim Chief of Police.
- Pleasure.
- Pleasure.
Interim.
That means temporary right? - If you'll excuse me.
- Yes.
Chief, are you here because you think I can't handle myself? I know you can handle yourself.
I'm here for two other reasons.
One, to rock this tux, the other is I have a new lead.
Gentleman over there by the bar.
That's Gerald Banichek.
He just got out of the bucket after a six year stint for felony theft.
Object of choice? Diamonds.
And his first stop off the clink train was to buy a ticket to the diamond show.
I'm gonna go work that.
(WALTZ MUSIC STARTING UP) Oh, oh.
- May I have this dance? - Oh, no, no.
Come on, we're supposed to be a couple.
It would be weird if we didn't.
Come on, we're supposed to have a thing.
Banichek, Joyce Boyle, Chief of Police.
Now, I can be your best friend here, or your worst enemy, but that all depends on what you came here to do tonight.
Chief Boyle.
Full disclosure, I'm the one who called in the anonymous tip to the Harthans.
I thought about stealing this stone for years and realized if I wanted to I could.
Tonight.
How are you doing with all this? Doing good.
I think you were right about Stubbins.
It's all a show.
He's broke.
Desperate.
I meant how are you doing with your fake family? Well, I don't want you to accuse me of being Johnny Depp, but it has made me think about my mom a lot, and I haven't done that in a while Well, if you need to talk come see the guy who's graciously allowing you to lead right now.
May I? You look amazing.
Why thank you.
So TV's Harley Carter, you sure that's the right guy for you? The thing is, he doesn't look serious enough.
Is he really gonna give you the life that you know you deserve? What is the life that I deserve? And are you the guy to give it to me? Funny you should ask.
I'm working on a large investment right now that would put us on easy street for the rest of our lives.
Really?! What might that be? I want details.
That is not important right now.
What is important is that you're listening.
If you don't mind Oh.
Now here's a twist.
Banichek is now working for the other side.
Using his powers for good.
Wants to start a security service, says that the diamond's a lot more vulnerable than we thought.
Said the security is penetrable by the right person.
So we gotta be all eyes and ears.
Okay.
BYRON: Isn't that wonderful? You know as your president I'd like to take advantage of this opportunity to once again thank the Harthans for their generosity for hosting this evening's event.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
And as you all know, Wilhelmina Harthan has sang for two presidents and the entire U.
N.
Assembly.
So as a surprise tonight I would like to invite her up on our stage and sing for us.
No Before you say no, let me tell you that Reggie and Betty Souther are willing to donate $10,000 to the Bishop Pediatric Fund for just the one song.
Let's not let the kids down.
I can stop this, just give me one second, I will stop it.
No, no, no.
I think have to do this for myself.
I kinda I kinda know this one.
Ladies and gentlemen, Wilhelmina Harthan.
- Seems - (MICROPHONE FEEDING BACK) Seems like old times (HUMMING NERVOUSLY) Feel the thrill that it was The day I found you Seems like old Times Dinners dates and flowers Old times (BEEPING) COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Invalid code.
Making dreams come true Doing things We used to do Seems like old times Here with You (CROWD APPLAUDING) (EXHALING NERVOUSLY) Come on Duff Stubbins.
You old bastard.
Carter, hey.
Not exactly Zeta Jones smooth, is it? Oh, you know, I was just Just taking a little walk with this Mask! Well, you sounded pretty good up there.
Not as good as Wilhelmina, but I think you pulled it off.
Thank you.
Come here.
That's for the one you can't get from your mom anymore.
Wilhelmina would be lucky to get one of these.
And she still can.
(ALARM SOUNDING) Go find Hugh.
All right, you got me.
I'm not gonna run.
Yeah, that's what you said the first time.
- Carter! - Chief! Okay, let's get him up.
Get up.
Get up.
I was holding him down all by myself, Chief.
Way to hustle, Dave.
What?! These, uh, these calf garters, they really slow me down, man.
Look, I was given the wrong code.
I'm being set up, I'm telling you.
Yeah? By who? When somebody owes you something, that is real power.
I have a theory.
And I think it's a pretty solid one.
You were broke, desperate.
You got a loan from Kane for a business venture, you couldn't pay him back.
Let us know if we're on the right track, otherwise you're going down for this alone.
I wasn't even supposed to be here, I had no choice.
Wrong, you had a choice.
- Dave had no choice.
- That's true.
DUFF: I owed him so much money, okay? He told me that if I took the diamond, that he'd forgive my debt.
Wait a minute, if he wanted you to steal the diamond, why would he give you the wrong code? Because it was a diversion.
It's a note.
Of the ransom variety.
"We have Wilhelmina.
"You can have her back for 20 million in unmarked bills.
" "Wait for a call with drop off instructions.
" They thought of something a lot more valuable than the diamond.
- Where's Kane? - Where's Sam? I saw her follow somebody outside.
Carter, wait Carter, wait! We gotta do this right.
Carter! Recently I've been buying up abandoned buildings in Bishop.
Easy with the tables! The caterers.
(CAR ALARM BEEPING) Get over here now with the communications unit with tracers and wait for the call.
What do you mean we don't have requisition cash in that amount?! Then call all the area banks! What kind of Mayberry operation are we running here?! We'll pay the ransom.
I'm sorry? No need to call any banks.
We'll put up the $20 million to get Detective Shaw back safely.
Thank you.
Get me that unit.
CATERER: Hey boss, I saw Stubbins' car outside.
BYRON: How would that shanker know where we are? Go take a look around.
Kane.
Sam! Just happened to be in the neighbourhood, thought I'd swing by and save your life.
Harley! Those caterers were just Kane's henchmen in disguise.
Once I knew they were kidnapping me, I let them, so I could figure out who was behind this.
- That was your plan? - This was yours? Well, come on now, we're in this together.
We gotta use team work to get out of this pickle.
Okay, I have an idea but I'm not happy about it.
Can you reach into my bra? I wasn't kidding about the pins.
If you can fish one out, we might be able to use it to pick these cuffs.
- Your bra? - Yeah.
Just don't stick me.
I won't.
Getting closer yeah.
Feel something Okay.
Got it? Good work.
Thank you for showing up.
How do you know I didn't come for the food? Did you feel anything? Yeah, me neither.
I mean that thing you did with your bottom lip.
What was that? (CLANGING NOISE) When I say stay don't leave your post, it's not a suggestion, you don't leave your post! But I was just trying to Be an idiot? Well, you nailed that.
(CRASHING) HARLEY: I told you the rice would work! Hey, Chief.
Great, great you're on your way.
Listen, how many are you coming with, cause I'm gonna get some Peking duck.
You know what, I'll just get enough for everyone, and stuff for people with food restrictions.
BOYLE: You're a special kind of cop, Shaw.
Being your first undercover assignment, you made quite an impression.
I'm not sure there's anyone I met a couple days ago willing to pay twenty mil for my ransom.
DAVE: Hey Chief, do you mind if I talk to this gentlemen? - BOYLE: Make it quick.
- Thank you.
Thim-Thim? No, it's not Thim-Thim.
You know what the trouble is with people like you? That country club that you're so damn proud to be a member of? Well, my father used to be a groundskeeper there for over thirty years.
Yeah.
Day after day, he would bend down on his knees to fill in the divots of your failed nine iron chip shots.
And it was people like you who would look down on him, and always make him feel less than.
And I would have to see that on his face every night when he came home.
But here's the thing, you don't know what honest work is all about, which means you also don't understand what true pride really is.
Because that's something you can't buy.
And that makes him richer than you'll ever be.
That's it.
Enjoy your cell.
Oh, and do be polite to the staff.
They carry Tasers.
Thanks, chief.
Shaw, get some rest.
Hey, how you doing? Good.
I was just uh, thinking about tonight and Harley Taking down Kane.
You guys were awesome.
No, just about me and him and what we're doing together, running around as some kind of team.
I'm a cop, he's a pretend cop.
I don't I don't even know what to call it.
Well, I think Harley would call it a show.
That's the thing, everything is a show with him, nothing's real.
And that works for him, but Listen, I know that I am the one who is always pushing him away.
But the truth is, I think this whole time, I have been hanging onto this weird possibility between us.
I mean, since we were kids, it's always been this question mark.
What is this about? Did something happen in there? No.
I think it's more about what didn't happen.
That's okay.
Oddly, I have my sister's voice in my head.
- Oh.
- Yeah, weird, right? And you know what? Maybe it's time I figured out what I really want.
And be open to letting myself have it.
Yeah.
Maybe this is a good thing.
DAVE: Hey, buddy Dot let me in.
I think she's sleepwalking.
She was doing lines from Seinfeld and I'm pretty sure she thought I was Newman.
Mind if I join you? I'm just getting in some alone milkshake time.
I'm not giving you a sip.
Spoke to Sam.
She seemed upset about something.
Any ideas what that might be? She tell you about the kiss? She hadn't.
But now I'm starting to fill in some blanks.
Wow.
That happened.
Good.
It should have.
'Bout time.
It did not go well.
And that's what she's upset about.
The way I reacted.
I feel like she felt like I didn't feel anything.
Buddy, that's not your fault.
There's so much history, so much build up between you two, but sometimes these things just are what they are.
It's chemistry.
You can't control that.
You didn't feel anything.
That's the crazy thing, Dave.
I felt everything.
I felt it in every fibre of my body.
I passed out and when I came to it was still happening.
- What do you mean? - I choked.
I just didn't know what to say, and I think Sam took my silence as not caring but I care so much, Dave.
I care so much.
Okay, you gotta go to her.
I can't, it's over.
The moment's over.
No, no, no.
It's not over, it's not over.
You need to go and tell her, show her, how you really feel, or you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.
She is spinning right now, and by the way that she's talking, if you're not careful, she's gonna spin away from you.
You need to Love Actually, Punch Drunk Love it.
Pick any movie from the late '90s and go and get your girl! This is exactly what you would tell me.
So are you going to take your own advice or you just gonna sit here and nurse this stupid milkshake? Lighting in the evening In the holy highlands Down in the hall, up against the wall I know you're struggling with the cold Why you gotta call it anything at all now Is it a dream or some softer poison I was looking away while you bled the blues, yeah Get so low Before you get high Before you go Hot tears hot tears Well, I know (THUDDING SOUND) You're so lost (THUDDING) Before you go It's, uh it's been a night.
Letting off steam.
You? Same.
This is my normal routine, but I usually do it alone.
Well, not tonight I guess.
Come here.
Let me spot you.
Heavenly low, it's right on time But is it enough? You gotta find the light Find the light Find the light Heavenly low Find the light I'm ready when you are.
Maybe I'm just gone to the world I can feel it coming, do you hear the night From the river bridge, I hear the thunder I hear the storm, and your skin on mine Tell me, what's the story, morning glory? Whisper it to me in a grand hotel Telling me all the time, "I'm sorry" Babe, don't I know it ain't hard to tell Well, I know Yeah, I know You get so low before you get high Before you go, come say hello