Charmed s02e05 Episode Script

Thank you, everybody, for being here.
Have a great evening, - and drive safe.
- Oh, I cannot believe this heat wave.
It's 2 a.
m.
How can it be so hot when there's no sun? Tell me about it.
The Cranberries are playing an animal-rights benefit here on Saturday, and it's gonna be a million degrees in here.
Phoebe, you keep making like you're on Red Shoe Diaries, and I'm gonna have to bust out a can of man repellent.
- I can't help it.
- All right, people, move along.
Nothing to see here.
Go on.
Goodness.
Am I gonna have to hose you down? It's not my fault.
I am in a highly excited state right now.
Not that I'd mind being hosed down with water.
I feel like I'm on fire.
Feel my forehead.
- Phoebe, you're burning up.
- I know, tell me about it.
Something's happening to me, Piper, something really freaky.
Sweetie, I think you need to call a doctor.
But I don't feel sick.
I just I feel I feel hot, aroused.
I've been having this dream, Piper.
This sex dream.
It's not like I haven't dreamt about sex before, because I have, you know.
But this is This is different.
This feels real swank penthouse love den, candles, satin sheets Okey-dokey, I get the point.
But every night it's with a different man telling me that I'm irresistible.
And then we Well, let's just say we could win the gold medal - in the Hugh Hefner Olympics.
- And this is a bad thing? No, it's a good thing.
It's a very good thing until I kill them.
That's how your dream ends? You kill the guy? Each and every night, Piper.
I told you, something is wrong with me.
There is nothing wrong with you.
It's a dream, a metaphor for extreme sexual frustration.
Trust me, I should know.
- Oh, good, we're decoding men.
- Prue, what are you doing here? I'll tell you what I'm not doing.
I am not lighting candles, I'm not getting a back rub, and I'm not running a hot bubble bath for two.
Things didn't go well with Alan? Well, see, that's the thing, I'm not really sure.
I mean, third date, a hot night, romantic dinner, and he drops me off with barely even a kiss good night.
I'm a little confused.
Well, that's not necessarily an official rejection.
I mean, when they say, "I'll call you," that's the kiss of death.
- Maybe he just got nervous.
- Yeah, or maybe he's just not interested.
I mean, I gave out all the signals for him to move forward, and he ran away.
Men don't just run away when you give them all the signals, right? So, what gives? Okay, that's enough talk about men for me.
I need to go home and take a long cold shower and have a good night's sleep, I hope.
Sweet dreams.
Don't kill anyone.
Don't ask.
I can't believe we're doing this.
You've gotta be the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.
Either I'm dreaming, or I'm falling in love.
Oh, man, I am definitely falling in love.
Where have you been my entire life? You are irresistible.
- Alan, hi.
- Hi.
Man, it's hot, huh? - Bad day for the a.
c.
To be on the fritz.
- Yeah, bad day.
Listen, Alan Hey, Davis, can you hold the elevator, please? Thanks.
Sorry, I'm late for a meeting.
Okay, Alan, just out of curiosity, did something happen on our date last night to upset you or something? Upset? No, no, not at all.
Actually, I had a great time.
We should do it again.
I'll call you.
The kiss of death.
Speaking of deadly kisses, I need to speak to you, Prue.
- Yeah, sure, Darryl.
- Everything okay? You know, you're a guy, maybe you can explain this to me.
Why is it that one moment guys are sending out all of the signals, and then the next they just turn them off like a switch? What do you men want anyway? Well, it's nice to see that while romance may be dead, chivalry isn't.
So, what's up, Morris? Four men have been killed over the last four nights ever since this heat wave started.
I think the murders are gonna continue, - but I don't have any suspects.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Look, you and I have got this game we play, right? You know that I know you got a secret.
You also know I don't wanna know what it is.
But if in any way it can help stop this Oh, my God.
What happened to them? Severe cerebral trauma.
Although the medical examiner can't figure out exactly how.
He also can't figure out how each of the men were drained of all their testosterone.
Not something you find every day.
We need help on this one, Prue.
The kind of help I think only you can provide.
Do the victims have anything else in common? They were each members of a dating service called Fine Romance.
I've already got the place staked out, but they've got too many clients for me to watch and too many potential suspects for me to track.
If the pattern continues, somebody's gonna die tonight.
- I know it, and I can't stop it.
- I'll see what I can do.
I don't want you to get hurt.
Find out what you can, slip it to me.
The brass is watching me on this one.
This can't turn out to be another unexplained case.
I'm telling you, Piper, last night's dream was no dream.
Or a premonition, even.
It was real.
I felt it.
I was I was so turned on, and then - And then I killed him.
- Phoebe, you didn't kill anyone.
I could feel his body shake uncontrollably beneath mine.
Now you're making me sick.
How do you think I feel? I'm living it.
- I could still taste his blood.
- Okay.
- Is anybody home? - In here.
It's not lunch yet.
What are you doing home? Morris came to visit.
- Pheebs, are you okay? - I'm so hot.
But she won't go see a doctor.
- What did Morris want? - Help.
Oh, my God.
It's the guys.
All of them.
Phoebe, you were dreaming.
Of each and every one of the victims? I don't think so.
I could see them through my own eyes, - feel every touch, smell every smell.
- How long have you had this feeling? - The last four nights.
- Since the murders began.
Coincidence? I think not.
Well, maybe your powers are growing.
Maybe you can get premonitions in your sleep now.
Or maybe you're just psychically linked to the demon - on its wavelength or something.
- Or maybe I'm the killer.
Come on, you guys, it's not like there's no precedent.
I mean, Piper turned into a werewolf once, remember? - A wendigo.
- Whatever.
Look, if you are psychically connected, then maybe you can go to the dating service, touch some of the tapes of the suspects, see if you can get a psychic flash.
It's worth a shot.
Then I'll stay here and see if I can find anything - in the Book of Shadows.
- I'm sorry, wait a minute.
I tell you that maybe I'm some kind of man-killing demon, and you want me to go to bachelor central? Phoebe, we have to do something.
Otherwise, someone else is going to die tonight.
Oh, look at the racks on those babes, huh? Just do your job, Smith, okay? I am doing my job, Morris.
I'm taking pictures of potential suspects.
If you ask me, those two suspects got a lot of potential.
Hi, welcome to Fine Romance.
I'm Darla.
How can I help you? My sister Prue would like to sign up.
- I would? - Yes, you would, - while I look around.
- Right.
Well, Prue, today is your lucky day, because we are running a special.
One year unlimited access to our Internet and video library with a money-back guarantee for only $3,500.
Thirty-five-hundred bucks? Okay, I could buy a man for that.
Oh, I can always tell the frustrated ones.
You've been having man trouble lately, haven't you? - I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- Oh, sorry, I didn't see you.
It's not a problem.
It's not a problem at all.
- Do you work here? - Oh, no.
Actually, I just - I just signed up.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I mean, it's just that you don't seem like the type - that needs help finding a date.
- Ditto.
- Oh, I'm Owen.
Owen Grant.
- Phoebe.
I have to go, okay? I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
- But, Phoebe - Sorry.
Congratulations, Prue, your days of having trouble with men are over.
- See you at tonight's mixer? - Okay.
You know, for your information, I do not have man troubles.
Okay, financial ones now, yes, - but definitely not any man troubles.
- We're out of here.
- It's all right.
- I don't, honest.
- Tell her.
- She doesn't.
Piper? You're back.
- Did you find anything in the book? - The book? Or were you too busy looking at something else? I was looking.
You should see what I found.
Oh, I see what you found all right.
Great tan, nice body.
"When a witch renounces all human emotion and makes a pact with darkness to protect herself from heartbreak, she becomes a succubus, a sexual predator.
" Let me see that.
"She seeks out powerful men who become helpless against her magic, then feeds on their testosterone with her razor-sharp tongue.
" So this monster is an evil, sexually-charged witch? Yeah, but it's not you, Phoebe, because you didn't make a pact with darkness, right? And as far as we know, you don't have a razor-sharp tongue.
Here's a spell to attract the succubus and destroy it with fire.
A flaming death for yours truly? I don't think so.
Well, we have to catch this thing, right? So, what if I cast a spell to attract it, and if it turns out to be you who's attracted to me, then Piper will freeze the room, and we'll go from there.
Fair enough? "By the forces of heaven and hell Draw to us this woman fell Rend from her foul desire That she may perish as a moth to fire" - See? I knew it wasn't you.
- I didn't burn.
I'm okay.
I'm not.
- Oh, my God.
- God.
I don't believe it.
We have a new problem.
- Prue, please come out.
- Not until you reverse this spell.
Come on, it's been over an hour already.
Do you think she's touching herself? The book doesn't say anything about a reversal.
Maybe you're supposed to stay a man until you attract the succubus.
- Well, I'm not going anywhere.
- See? You don't really have a choice.
I'm thinking we need to get you to the dating service, since that's where the succubus picks her victims.
That is actually a really good idea.
She could He can sign up like the rest of the guys.
Hey, I'm not signing up for anything.
Lives are at stake, Prue.
Innocent men are going to die.
We're your sisters, Prue, you don't have to be embarrassed.
We're not gonna laugh.
How can I save anyone? Okay, I look ridiculous.
I am wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriends' pile, I have hair in strange places, and I have a penis.
This is not funny! - What's the matter with you? - I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.
Prue, you don't actually have to date anyone.
All you have to do is make yourself seen and available.
You know, Prue, the sooner you trap the succubus, the sooner you'll become a woman again.
That's easier said than done.
Okay, confidence.
The walk, the talk, the handshake, it's all about confidence.
- Sports.
Men like sports.
- And sincerity, that's key.
But what really makes a man is the clothes he wears, the car he drives and the money he earns, - according to Cosmo.
- You're supposed to be helping.
Okay, let's work on your walk.
All you have to do is visualize a man that you admire and then emulate him.
You know, the walk will follow.
A man that I admire.
All right, I got that.
Okay.
The man you admire is Richard Simmons? Okay, I will get Morris' files, try to put together a list of attributes the succubus is attracted to.
You two get the door.
- What? - Well, think of it as a practice run for the dating service.
Oh, oh, I know.
Tom Hanks.
Everybody loves Tom Hanks.
Think of him.
- Tom Hanks.
- Everybody loves him.
Okay.
- Dan.
- Hi.
I didn't mean to interrupt, but my freezer broke down, and I wanted to see if I can get some ice from you guys.
Oh, Dan, this is This is This is Manny.
Manny Hanks.
He's my friend.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Manny.
- Piper, come in here quick.
- Okay, coming.
- I'll be right back with that ice.
- Oh, wait, no.
He's a good man.
Have we met before? You look familiar.
So have you known the sisters long? I'm the brother that they never had.
- What happened? - I just I had another one of those hot flashes, the succubus vision.
Piper, I think I really am psychically connected to that thing.
I see what she sees, feel what she feels.
I felt excited.
Excited happy or excited aroused? Piper, she's in heat, okay? And so am I.
Well, that explains why you're burning up.
Your libido must be connected to the succubus.
Yeah, well, it's like I have no control over it.
It just happened again.
I saw egg sacs.
Oh, my God.
I think she's pregnant or ready to hatch.
You mean there's gonna be a whole brood of them killing men? Unless we stop her, I think that's exactly her plan.
So Piper isn't seeing anyone.
- No, not really.
- Then Piper is seeing someone.
No.
Not really.
Look, I would just hate to see her with a guy who, oh, let's say on the third date, just runs away.
- Don't you just hate men like that? - I don't know any men like that.
How about those Niners? - Okay, here's your ice.
- Oh, thanks.
Oh, you're welcome.
Okay, bye-bye.
Take care.
Tell Jenny we said hi, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
Good.
- So? - Oh, we're in big trouble.
Huge.
You know, I think that it's the smaller things that I look for in a relationship.
You know, like listening to your partner, kindness, respect.
And as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing sexier, nothing hotter than someone who respects him Herself.
Because you know if she respects herself then she respects others.
Can I just say that you are really in touch with your feminine side.
You have no idea.
His name is Owen.
He signed up earlier today.
- Dr Owen Grant? - Doctor? Yeah, I guess that's him.
Do you have any way I can get in touch with him? It's really important.
Well, you could join for $3,500 and view his tape.
- I do not believe it.
- What? Looks like neighbour Dan signed up too.
Interested? Let's go.
Boy, a guy could do some serious damage in there, you know? Just drop all the pretence and go a little caveman.
You're really something, you know that, Smith? I know it.
That's what the ladies tell me.
Man.
- It's boiling.
- Yeah, it is.
- Think I'll do a little investigating inside.
- No, you're not going anywhere.
Come on, it's a mixer, right? I wanna go inside and mix it up.
Do you think the succubus already got to Owen? I mean, what if we're too late? You would have had a psychic flash if we were, and since you haven't, we're not.
Oh, there he is.
Hey, you know, maybe I should take him back to the manor to keep him safe.
You and him at the manor, alone? - I'm just gonna talk with him.
- Well, you can just talk with him here.
I'm gonna go back to the video area and check up on Prue.
Don't forget Dan's tape.
Yeah, nice to meet you too.
- Hi.
- Hi.
So, what you're saying is, my video will now be available to all of your clients.
So, what with Internet access, I should be able to meet women as soon as when? Mr Hanks, something tells me that you could be dating as soon as tomorrow.
This is one great tape.
I'm sorry, I just I can't do this.
Oh, come on.
Your sister paid for this, Mr Gordon.
- You can do it.
- No, this just isn't me.
Give it a try.
Just speak from your heart.
- What do you look for in a woman? - What do I look for? I don't know, I'm old-fashioned, I guess.
I I look for the girl next door.
Someone with a good heart, good personality and looks to match.
The kind of girl that, when I leave for work in the morning, I wait just a little bit, until she leaves for work too, just to catch a glimpse of that long dark hair and great smile, hoping that maybe one day she'll notice that I'm watching, and she'll smile back at me.
Do you? Do you wanna get out of here and take a walk or something? - I would love to really, but I can't.
- You can't? Why not? Oh, it's hard I mean, to explain, you know? Is it really hot in here? You know what? I'm gonna get you something to drink.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, no.
She's here.
- Piper! - Hey, what's going on? Are you okay? Yeah, we need to get out of here fast, okay? Follow me.
If you could just stand here for a minute and just stay in my sight, okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
- She's here.
I felt her.
- What? Where is she? I don't know, but she's in the room somewhere.
- She could be after Owen.
- Well, then get him out of here.
- Fast! - Okay.
Where you going there, honey? Excuse me.
No, no, no, I'd like to have a little talk with you, huh? In private.
What the hell's the matter with you, Smith? Let her go! Manny, it's Owen.
Take him out fast.
What are you doing? Your powers.
Hey, hey, that's enough, all right? You're under arrest! That's it.
You're under arrest, pal.
Cuff the other one, Smith.
This is This is bad.
This is really bad.
It's getting worse.
The succubus isn't attracted to Owen anymore.
- She's attracted to Prue.
- Perfect.
You want me to release him? Your friend punched a cop.
Four men have died in the last four nights, but none so far tonight.
- Why do you think that is? - Because of Manny, that's why.
And if he stays in jail, another innocent man might get killed.
I suppose you want me to release this - This Dr Owen Grant too, huh? - No.
Actually, he's still a potential victim.
As long as he's here, he's safe.
You can't let him out.
This is going to bite me in the ass.
I know it is.
You know, I'm surprised we men ever get anything done.
You know, all I seem to think about is sex.
It's like it's non-stop, very debilitating.
Tell me about it.
Hey, did you fix the air conditioning? Yeah, I just had to clean the filter.
Airflow clog must've thrown the breaker.
Guess who that was.
Alan from Buckland's.
Alan? Wait, he actually called? Yeah, and he wants to go out with you again.
- So much for our rejection theory.
- Well, what did you tell him? I went out on a limb and told him you were feeling a bit hormonal.
Probably normal for a succubus.
But not so good for you.
I really think you should call a doctor.
Piper, there's nothing that he can do.
It's the connection with the succubus.
It's getting stronger.
Probably because she missed her nightly feeding.
She didn't get Owen or Prue.
She needs to kill, I can feel it.
- Okay, what are we gonna do? - All right, I got a plan.
The dating service called.
Turns out my video broke some kind of house record.
Twenty hits this morning.
One of them might be the succubus, so I lined up dates with all of them.
- What? - Yep, at your club tonight starting at 6.
No, no, not tonight.
The Cranberries are coming in for a sound check before the benefit tomorrow.
I can't risk scaring them away.
Oh, that's no problem.
I'll just nail the succubus before they get there.
Oh, you're gonna nail her, are you? Okay, so this whole man thing, this sort of short-circuits the old maybe-l-should-consult- my-sisters wiring now, doesn't it? Just step right in and take over.
Didn't start happening until she sucker-punched Owen.
- Well, you had a problem, I fixed it.
- Oh, you bet your butt you did.
- You nearly broke his jaw.
- I saved his life.
Look, you're the one who told me I had to practice being a man, right? So I acted on instinct.
And to tell you the truth, the moment that I hit him, I felt powerful and strong, like somehow that made me a man.
You wanna know how to be a real man? Look at Dan.
Honest, kind, good heart.
The type of guy who would risk being late to work just to make you smile.
Not some bully who walks around thinking one punch is gonna change anything.
She learned all that just from looking out a window? Oh, yeah, nice body, great tan.
Awesome truck.
You know, I think you really are becoming a man.
Oh, man.
Look at that.
Look at that.
I can hardly even see out of that, and you let him walk.
Why don't you try looking at the club for a while.
The sooner we catch the perp, the sooner I can have you reassigned.
I just hope that the succubus gets here fast, because I am dying.
Okay, focus on the plan.
Manny lures the succubus into the alley, and then I freeze her And then he uses his testosterone-charged powers to fend her off until she bursts into flames.
I got it.
Did Manny just check out that girl's butt? Oh, God, this is starting to get weird.
It's starting to get weird? Where you been? - Hey.
- Hey.
- You don't recognize me, do you? - No.
Sorry, should I? I work at Buckland's with Prue Halliwell.
- Manny.
Manny Hanks.
- Alan Stanton.
Nice to meet you.
- So you know Prue, huh? - Yeah, we go way back.
Yeah, well, Prue and I actually dated a few times.
When it comes to dating women these days, I just can't figure out what they want.
It's a real confusing time to be a man.
- You mean, like in what way? - Like every way.
I mean, even opening doors or pulling out chairs.
Some women expect it, other women hate it.
You never know which camp they're in until it's too late.
Well, which camp do you think Prue's in? Prue? The good one, the one that likes it.
She's cool.
I had no idea.
I mean You know, I bet she had no idea.
Have you told her? Are you kidding? Probably scare her away if I haven't already.
Where's Prue? I lost her.
Him.
She's over there talking to A What? The succubus.
She's here.
I'm seeing what she's seeing.
- What? Where is she? - She's here somewhere.
She just spotted Prue.
Wait.
Isn't that the woman from the dating service? The one that videotaped Prue? You know Prue, she's on the rebound.
And I respect her too much to force the issue.
I didn't wanna move too fast.
Although I think about it now, maybe I went too slow and got her mad at me.
Same damn confusing rules, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm beginning to.
- Yeah? - Prue, she's here.
Get to the alley quick.
It's Jan from the dating service, the one in the red dress.
Right, on my way.
Sorry, Alan, gotta go.
Hi.
Hi.
Jan, right? From Fine Romance? Yes.
Have we met? It's not you.
Hello, Manny.
- What's happening to me? - You're falling in love.
You want me.
You need me.
Tell me I'm irresistible.
Tell me.
You're irresistible.
What happened? Why didn't you use your power? I was trying to use it, and it wouldn't work.
- And then I felt like I was - Impotent? You know, a little advice about men, Phoebe.
When we fail at something, generally we don't like to hear the word - Impotent? - Yeah Oh, no! Freeze right there! Stop, or I'll shoot! Stop! She's dead, but I don't know what the hell that was.
- You guys okay? - I think so.
Looks like you got your collar.
Okay, how come I'm still a man? Toxicology won't be back for a week, but the preliminary blood panel did show something odd.
This woman's endocrine system showed high levels of testosterone.
Testosterone? How? How's that even possible? I won't know for certain until the autopsy, but if it turns out to be accurate, you've definitely got the killer you've been looking for.
I tell you, there's something really weird about this.
It's a real shame.
She's a babe.
I don't understand.
It says, to attract and destroy the succubus, she will come to us and burst into flames.
Yeah, well, it came all right, but it certainly didn't burst.
And worse, I'm still a man.
What I don't understand is, why wasn't I able to use my power? I don't know.
You know, men are just as afraid of being rejected as women are.
Trust me.
I mean, that's probably why Dan hasn't asked you out.
He's afraid you'll say no.
Like you'd know.
- Do you? - I'm a guy, aren't I? You guys, the succubus, she's still alive.
I felt her kill again.
- Oh, no.
- Why wasn't I able to destroy her? - We can still finish this.
- How? I mean, she knocked me out, guys.
I mean, really, it was like I was in a trance.
I was weak in the knees.
And for a moment, I felt her need not to be rejected as though it would devastate her.
Great, we're dealing with a sensitive man-killing demon.
Yeah, well, we gotta be missing something.
You keep looking.
I gotta go take a leak.
All right, don't forget to put the seat back down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Anything there? - No, nothing at all.
Phoebe? She's here.
The succubus, she's in the house.
Prue! Prue! Where'd she go? I watched your tape over and over again.
The things you said, I You can't resist me.
We have to find Prue, Phoebe, or she's dead.
I'm connected again.
- I'm seeing Prue.
She's alive.
- Okay, where is she? The same place the other victims were, but I don't know where that is.
God, I'm gonna watch her kill Prue, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Wait, listen to me.
I have an idea.
If you are connected to the succubus, then the succubus - is connected to you, right? - What are you talking about? You have to reverse the psychic connection.
You have to use your power to project back to the succubus to help Prue resist her.
What's the succubus saying? - Tell me you want me.
- I want you.
- She wants Prue to want her.
- Okay.
Talk through the succubus, tell Prue that she doesn't want her, she'll never want her.
Tell her.
- Tell me you need me.
- I need you.
Talk to Prue like she's right in front of you, Phoebe.
Tell her that she's not a man, she's a woman.
Tell me - You're not a man.
You're a woman.
- That you're a woman.
- I'm a woman.
- What? You can resist, Prue.
Only a man is - powerless against me? I can resist you.
In fact, I'm rejecting you.
What? You can't resist me! I'm irresistible! Not to me, you're not, you bitch.
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
- And so is Prue.
- What about the succubus? She's dead.
Oh, well, well, and I thought the heat wave was over.
- Yeah, Prue, you look hot.
- I'm just grateful to be back in heels.
Well, let me see.
Oh, yeah, you definitely have that walk down.
Well, we'll see if Alan agrees with that.
Oh, Alan.
I thought you thought he wasn't interested.
Yeah, I was wrong.
Just a little gender confusion.
Looks like you learned a few things about being a woman by being a man.
Actually, I did.
I mean, we're different, which I'm glad about that, but we're also similar in many ways.
You know, we all feel the same emotions.
It's just that if we don't communicate honestly, then we read between the lines and tend to get everything screwed up.
And sometimes it's just up to us to open the door first, take a chance.
Oh, you finally called him, huh? I got some good advice from the brother I never had.
- Excuse me.
- You're welcome.
- So, what about you, Pheebs? - Me? I actually have an appointment with a doctor I've been dying to see.
- I'm still running a little bit hot.
- I see that.
He winked at you.
Folks, it's a real pleasure for me to introduce, in a one-night-only benefit for the Animal Rights Fund, The Cranberries! Glad you could make it.
Are you kidding? I'm just glad you called.
Truth is, I've been wanting to call you for some time now.
Really? I never would've guessed.
- You wanna dance? - Sure.
- Alan, hey, good to see you.
- I'm glad you called back, Prue.
I have to admit that I didn't think you would.
Well, I wasn't going to at first, but then I I met this really nice guy, and he encouraged me to go ahead.
Yeah, well, who is he? I wanna thank him.
Oh, I'll thank him.
Cranberries.
Let's go.