Clarence US (2014) s02e05 Episode Script

1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Jeff, look-it! I'm a cart-racer! Whoo-hoo! Cool, Clarence.
Continue? - Jeff, look! - Come on, baby, don't let me down! Mwah! Stage two! That's right, nothing's gonna stop me now! Look out! Stage three! Final boss! Help me! I'm finally here! Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff! Whoops.
Sorry, boys, but the ol' girl's broke.
No! She can't die! I'll save you! Is there a secret code for this thing? I'm gonna give her mouth-to-mouth! That's it! That's not necessary.
I'm gonna have to call my repair guy.
Shouldn't be more than a couple hours.
I can be reached at this number.
Please call me as soon as it's finished.
Kid, I really don't have time for Yes, of course! So, Jeff, we could play chuckle factory, or oh! Um! We could do a animal parade! Look! Meow, animal parade! Or maybe, uh, pencil friends! Hey, I'm really sorry I broke your game.
It's okay, Clarence.
I should've been supervising you.
Are you sure you don't want to play anything? No, I'm just gonna lay here and wait for my phone call.
Okay, Jeff, we'll see.
Where are you, Jeff? I'm sorry, princess.
Vroom! Clarence? Huh? What Okay.
Enter, player one.
Welcome to Jeff's intergalactic space adventure! Hmm, neat.
- Hey! - Player one, man your station! Clarence, you can't just be pushing people like this, - it's called oh! - Boop, boop, boop.
Beep! Clarence, I have to wait for my phone - Here comes the asteroids! - Stop it! Clarence! - What are you - Alert, alert! Okay, fine! I'll play with you! Boop, boop.
- Bleep.
- Thrusters activate! Oh, no, here comes a big one look out! Good job.
1,000 points.
You're running low on fuel! Use the escape pod to collect more energy orbs! Wait what?! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not getting in there, Clarence.
- They could call - You gotta get in! You're running dangerously low on fuel! Okay.
- Door sealed.
- Well, this isn't so ba Look out! Prepare for impact! Uh, Clarence? Come in, space commander Jeff.
Tell us what could be under the mystery box? It's a mystery.
- But didn't you put it there? - I don't know.
Whoo! - Oh, nice! - Da-dada-da! Player receives mega-blaster alpha omega! Level one, initiate! The planet Mearth! It's, uh, it's like Earth, but different.
You must collect all the fuel orbs found on the map! - How's a picture gonna help? - There's more.
Hold on.
The tomb of chickens? So I just need to go to your backyard.
But only if you can cross the deadly passage of deadly trials! Wah! Mmm! Ow.
Ow! Look out a giant space snake! Ow! What the?! You better get him! Ow! Agh! That's it! Puw, puw, puw, puw, puw! The phone! Jeff, you wait! You gotta pause your game! Is it fixed?! Mary, uh, Clarence?! I think I really messed up, man! I am being washed! - Huh? - Oh, hey, Jeff! You forgot to say "pause," so you're almost out of time.
Wait, what? Insert coin, insert coin, insert coin, insert - But - Do you wish to continue? Ten, nine Clarence, you can't just take my quarters all day, I need - Six, five, four - Okay, fine here! Three, two, one! You gotta start over.
Welcome to Jeff's space adventure! He's got two more hit points! I'm out! Reload, reload.
Reload, reload.
- Huh? - Reload.
- Okay.
- Here, you got it take these! Yes! Hey, Jeff, want to check out your stats? Okay! We got your stats and your points.
Oh, points! How many points awarded for each category? Because to make it more like the real cosmic, you should award five thousand for every checkpoint crossed, subtract 250 for lives lost, - and then you get a bonus for - Time for level two! The mysterious gas planet Gassygas X.
Our hero must find these orbs.
Energy orbs are eggs and they belong to the blood-thirsty, one-eyed steam monster! And he's got his eggs where they're hidden away in a treasure nest.
Come on.
As our hero ventures deeper into the gassy depths, he becomes more lost.
But when all seems hopeless, he reaches into the gassy unknown and grabs the orbs! - What's this? - You just got an extra life! Oh, neat! Well, what's the next level? Snack time! Oh, man.
So when you got that snake back there, that was great.
Thanks.
You did a great job setting up the last level.
Yeah, well, no big deal.
You know, I think I have a few ideas on how to make this more fun.
Fire mountain.
- Slap clap! - Nice one! Hmm.
What's this? You found a power up it makes you go faster.
Yeah! I think it's working! Here's one for you.
Yeah, I can feel it, too.
Astro Ball-Z.
Hey, Jeff, are you ready for the final level? You mean, I have enough orbs to power the tritanial core? - Yeah, you got lots o' orbs.
- Orbs! You have the most orbs out of everyone I know.
I just have to run to the, uh, commanders quarters! Ha.
Be right back.
Um, still waiting here I need help! Hi, uh, calling for Jeffrey.
Your game is fixed.
- Yes! - So, yeah, feel free to play more video games at our laundromat.
Thank you for your patronage.
- Let's do this! - Uh, who? Aw, orbs! Can I borrow a quarter, ma'am? Level two, get victory! Get victory! Get victory! Jeff? Jeff?! Get victory! Get victory! Final boss.
Help me! Ha, ha, ha! Roar! I won? I won! Clarence, I won! - Clar - Oh, you won.
That's nice.
We had a board game.
It was Uncle Snuggly.
Uncle Snuggly, he was a rabbit and, uh, there were different pieces.
But my sister had lost one of the pieces, and then we moved out of that house years later Hey, Clarence.
Uh, I don't have any quarters left, but think we can finish that game? I've got some quarters you can borrow.
Okay, watch out for the spiky space tentacles monsters!