Dawn of the Croods (2015) s02e05 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
[snoring.]
[yawning.]
[sighing.]
How long do we have to wait before we're allowed to leave? The five-moment rule says if your teacher is five moments late, no class.
'Cause he's probably been eaten.
Or maybe he fell in a sinkhole.
They're popping up everywhere - [thuds.]
- Oh, no, your teacher's dead.
[gasping.]
As you know, Squawk ran the scream-leading team.
Today, they were helping our hunters.
[roaring.]
[yelling.]
We got a charger.
Scream leaders, scream them back.
And a-one and a-two and a [screaming.]
One of you is flat.
[screaming.]
[screaming.]
At least he died doing what he loved.
Screaming.
I scream-led when I was your age, so I'll be the new coach.
We'll have tryouts to replace those who left the team due to injury or fear.
Tryouts? [gasps.]
That could be me.
[screaming, laughing.]
So, who's gonna be our new teacher? That doesn't affect me personally, so I don't care.
Well, ta.
[straining.]
Did I miss anything? [yelling.]
[grunts.]
Huh.
[grunting.]
Huh, could be blunter.
Hey, Dad, what you doing? I am smoothing my hunting rock and I need absolute concentration.
- So - I have a question.
Why is the sky blue? All the other colors were taken.
Follow-up.
What if all of life is a dream dreamt by a giant sleeping butt? [gasps.]
What if it wakes up? Hey, hey, let's play a game.
It's called "Who can be quiet the longest?" Okay.
I guess you can! [gasps.]
Did I win? No, no.
The way you play is, we both try to be quiet as long as we can.
Oh! I get it.
Let's start now! I'm doing great.
[gasps.]
Shoot.
Uh, I talked.
Rematch.
I'm using a new strategy.
[gasps.]
Nuts! Rematch! [gasping.]
Ah, I think I'm getting better.
[gasps.]
No! [snarling.]
Mom, I got great news.
A bunch of kids got hurt, so I finally made the scream-leading team! [cheers.]
That's my girl! If you need any tips, I got you covered.
I call this one "panic.
" [screams.]
Yeah, whoo, thanks, but yeah, according to Meep, your technique is all wrong.
Meep is your coach? She's an amazing screamer.
Not only that, but she's also the perfect mother and the Valley's greatest beauty.
- According to who? - Meep! - [chuckles.]
- [growling.]
Not to disagree with the Valley's greatest beauty, but Meep's a bit self-centered.
I'm not sure she's really cut out to be a coach or to be around kids at all.
But Mom, she's giving me my big break.
I get to be a scream-leader.
[screams.]
Oh, ah, better save those for practice.
[giggles.]
Screamers, you all lack talent, especially one of you, who will remain unnamed.
Sorry, Mom.
But I am a scream genius.
Forget everything you know about screaming.
The only proper way to scream is how I scream.
[high-pitched screaming.]
- Wow! - Ooh! I love you, Mom! Now repeat after me.
[singing.]
[wailing.]
Awful.
Awfuler.
Unusually awful.
Hey, I'm not unusually awful.
You're right.
You're cut.
[sobbing.]
Mediocre.
[sighs.]
Finally.
- [growling.]
- [grunts.]
Hey, Dad, wanna play the quiet game again? I'm really good now.
I've been practicing against that tree.
He cheats.
Uh, okay.
Rematch.
Start now.
[giggling.]
[muttering.]
Scream, scream, scream, scream Scream, scream, scream, scream, scream Where have you been? You were supposed to help clean the pelts.
Sandy had to do the spin cycle.
[whimpers, hacking.]
[sighs.]
Practice went long.
But it's okay.
Meep said screaming's more important than anything else.
Did she now? She knows so much.
Did you know we actually keep our loudness in our tongues, not our throats? Look.
[babbling incoherently.]
Okay, honey, calm down.
It's just screaming, after all.
Uh, there's a lot more to it than just screaming.
Like shrieking.
[sighs.]
I wouldn't expect you to understand.
Where are you going? I need your help with the pelts.
- [growls.]
- [Eep.]
Sorry.
Meep says I can't risk getting dirt in my vocal cords.
Plus, I gotta go practice my howls.
[howling.]
[belches.]
All right, game's over, Thunk.
You win.
Thunk? [laughing.]
[Thunk.]
Okay, Thunk, better call for help.
Then I'll lose the quiet game.
Good point, Thunk.
Let's just ride this out and hope for the best.
I like the way you think, Thunk.
Back at you, pal.
We are so winning this.
Now who wants a tickle? [giggles.]
Stop that.
You are so bad.
[music playing.]
Scream, scream, super loud Give it all you got Work until our coach is proud She'll hurt us if she's not Train, train, do weird stuff Like drink some freaky mix It's supposed to make your throat less rough Instead it makes you hear colors.
What am I gonna do? She's acting just like Meep Thunk, Thunk, where are you? Please, son, make a peep This pit smells like poo Now let's go back to Eep We got better, everyone Except Womp, he's a bleeder Time for danger, time for fun Time to be scream-leaders [Meep.]
Okay, bring it in, screamers.
When we began, you were nothing.
Thanks to me, you're now like me.
Except you, Womp.
You're cut.
Fair enough.
[screams, grunts.]
Now tonight is our first test.
The hunters want our help to get the albatroceros that ate Squawk.
For that, I'd like to announce your new head screamer.
Eep.
Or as I like to call her, little Meep.
Ooh, this is all I've ever wanted.
And I so deserve it.
Let's go, scream team! [cheering.]
Oh, Mom! I totally made head screamer.
You're also totally late.
Hey, we have a hunt.
You have dinner.
- Meep says - Enough Meep! [groans.]
Stop trying to be like her.
All she thinks about is herself.
I do not.
I also think about You're putting me on the spot here.
And I don't even think she's teaching you how to scream very well.
[sighs.]
Meep said you were a hater.
She also said that pelt makes your elbows look fat.
I am not a hater! And my elbows look awesome.
- Now let's go, Eep.
- No.
I'm staying here.
[gasps, growls.]
That's it! No more scream-leading.
[Meep.]
Put down little Meep! Oh, you are being carried off.
I've had nightmares about this.
[sniffing.]
Feathers and death.
We're close.
Screamers, get ready.
Well, without Eep here you, lead the screams.
All right, Lerk.
Time to seize the moment.
Wait, wait, wait! I'm here.
- Oh, thank goodness.
- Oh, thank goodness.
All right, team, scream formation.
[breathing deeply.]
[chuckles.]
We don't need a scream team.
Yes, we do.
- Scream leaders, scream it away! - [roaring.]
Remember, big smiles and pizzazz hands.
One, two.
Hey, albatroceros Get out of here, get lost-eros Glorious.
See how amazing I made them sound? [groans.]
[roaring.]
Uh, next scream.
Give up, you stupid feather head We will scream until you're dead What are you doing? You're supposed to scare it, not entertain it.
[gasping.]
[screaming.]
Why did you teach those kids those useless, beautiful sounds? Don't look at me.
Or do, but not like that.
[wailing.]
Get away from them.
And away from me, too, I guess.
[chuckles.]
[screams.]
Oh! That's how we gotta scream! But it's hideous.
Exactly.
Come on, guys.
As hideous as you can.
[screaming.]
[whimpering.]
[sigh.]
Mom, I'm sorry for everything.
I don't know what happened to me.
Actually, I do.
It was Meep.
I shouldn't have listened to Meep.
Yes, it was Meep.
But it's okay.
You did turn out to be a good screamer.
Of course, you are still crazy grounded.
Meep, you're cut.
- Seriously.
You're obviously fired.
- Yeah! I got some pizzazz fingers for you right here.
Hmph! You don't deserve me anyway.
[neck cracking.]
Oh! Oh, my neck.
Oh, no, I'm stuck this way.
So, who's gonna replace her? [screeching.]
Teacher Squawk? You're okay-slash-gross.
I shall resume coaching the team.
I know the horrors of an albatroceros' stomach firsthand, and now truly understand how to scream.
Well, that worked out.
We didn't die, so I guess everything's all tied up.
Oh, wait, Thunk.
[shouts, grunts.]
Thunk, are you okay? Ha! You spoke.
I win.
Son, you really couldn't climb out of this? [music playing.]
[screaming.]
[screaming continues.]
Hey, neighbors, scream once for help, scream twice if we can go home and finish dinner.
[screams.]
Give it time, Ugga.
There could still be a second scream.
No.
No, Grug, Meep sounds really okay.
You're okay.
I could've sworn I heard [screaming.]
Oh, you did.
[screaming.]
Oh, gosh! A jackrobat flew in and Snoot's got himself in a tizzy.
I told you this thing is out for blood.
Look at those teeth.
[squeaking.]
[sighs.]
I got this.
When it comes to prey, Snoot's worth well, I don't wanna say "nothing.
" Uh, how 'bout "less"? Oh, he's worthless, all right.
Worthless? I'm the smartest caveman in Ahhh! Valley.
I know everything.
Like, well, oh! Did you know redberries are poisonous? Just once, I'd like you to kill a jackrobat for me.
Well, if I hadn't screamed so loudly, Grug never would've shown up.
So, in a way, I was the one who killed it.
Oh, yes, I'm so lucky you're such a coward.
Darn right.
Oh.
Well, it looks like things are good here now, so we'll just - Yeah - We'll just be, uh - Bye.
- Bye, guys! [chuckling.]
Grug, you shouldn't take joy in the misfortunes of others.
I'm not much.
It's just that, for once, the Boors have it bad, and the Croods are problem-free.
Well, I'm moving in.
But we were problem-free! Meep has this crazy idea that I haven't been pulling my weight as a husband in a very long time.
Maybe ever.
So she doesn't wanna see me again.
Maybe ever.
Oh, Snoot, I am so sorry.
Oh, don't feel bad for Meep.
She'll come to her senses and beg me back.
And until then, I get some long-overdue Snoot time and so do you.
No, no, no! I have had enough Snoot time.
Grug, he doesn't have anywhere to go.
If we kick him out, he'll get eaten by a predator or die from a slight change in temperature.
- [sniffles.]
- You're right.
Fine.
He can stay the night.
- One night.
- Excellent! Though, you know, it is common courtesy to clean your cave when you have a guest.
Oh.
This probably is clean for a family as filthy as yours.
[growls.]
[snoring.]
[grunting.]
[groaning.]
You guys are too firm! [grunting.]
[sighs.]
[groaning.]
Good night.
Though I should warn you, I'm a sleep yeller.
[screaming.]
No, no, no, no, stop! Yes, I thought that tastes so good! [muttering.]
Oh, yummy! Nom, nom! Yummy, yummy! [wailing.]
Things can't go on like this.
You guys are with me, right? Well, I'm conflicted.
On one hand, I like seeing you suffer.
But I also wanna see Snoot get crushed by a boulder.
Can we do both? Let's just eat breakfast, okay? [grunts.]
Excuse me.
[groans.]
Meep cuts the skin off for me.
You're a grown man.
Snoot, you can eat the skin.
[groans.]
Does yours taste better? [groans.]
No! - Gross.
- [groans.]
Oh, terrible.
Also terrible.
Most terrible.
[groans.]
What else you got? That was all of our food.
Then I guess you better get more.
[all groan.]
[whimpers.]
[shouts, grunts.]
I never since yesterday.
This is no way to treat a guest.
You are not a guest.
You're a pest.
In fact, I'm throwing you again.
[groans.]
Don't bother.
I'll throw myself.
Meep was right.
[sniffling.]
I am worthless.
I tried so hard to fit in here and I failed.
This was you trying to fit in? [sighs.]
I'll just go to Old People Island and wait to die.
[cawing.]
You'll be missed.
That should've been you.
Until they kick me out too.
Snoot, wait.
Old People Island is that way, actually.
[sobbing.]
Wait, wait.
Okay.
I can stay? No! But I will help you get back together with Meep.
You will? Thank you, Grug.
Just come get me when it's all better.
She wants someone who can hunt, right? I can teach you to do that.
How hard could it be? [gasps.]
Okay, so you will never be a hunter, but there's gotta be another way for you to win Meep back.
Amber know what women want, Bow-Chick-A-Wow-Wow.
Someone say my name? Hey, Bow-Chick-A-Wow-Wow, which way the watering hole? [chuckles.]
Amber know where watering hole is.
[chuckles.]
Wink.
No problem.
I can do that.
[straining.]
[groaning.]
A-ha! [sighs.]
Why didn't my arm get bigger? Okay, this doesn't work either.
Uh, what else do women like? How about you try romancing her? But I did.
That one time.
No.
No, no, no.
You need to keep romancing her.
Yes, romance is all about giving women things they don't need to survive but want anyway.
Like a big clump of my body hair.
Exactly.
I think we should get her something even more romantic than that.
[chuckles.]
There's something more romantic than body hair? See, this is the kind of insight only a woman could provide.
[knocking.]
Snoot, what are you doing here? Looking for a place to hide from your own shadow? [scoffs.]
No.
There's no way to outrun that guy.
Here.
These are the loveliest flowers in all the Valley.
But only half as lovely as you, Meep.
[sniffling.]
How could you? You know what flowers did to my father.
Oh, yes, that was insensitive of me.
[groaning.]
[Womp singing.]
Here's a song for Meep only I wrote it the other day when I was lonely Hope she'll hear it in her ears But if not, I can sing it louder and louder Can you hear it? 'Cause I can go louder La-la-la-la louder - [Womp continues singing.]
- You hear that? That's the sound of romance.
Maybe romance should be quieter.
[Meep.]
Can you turn that down? [sighs.]
This is hopeless.
I'm never gonna get her back.
Uh, can I go then? You sing until I release you.
La, la, la, la, la, la - [singing continues.]
- That's it.
I know something that can't fail.
Once, Grug caught an entire flock of butterhummers and then released them all at just the right moment.
You said it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen.
Until I watched you kill them all afterwards because you knew I was hungry.
There was so much blood.
Oh, there really was.
Well, stop rubbing your love in my face and catch me some butterhummers.
The music started skipping anyway.
[panting.]
La, la, la, la! Meep.
Meep! Take me back! Enough, Snoot.
I'm tired of your half-hearted ideas.
[stammering.]
Me too, dear, and that is why I present to you this grand gesture of my love.
Uh, just a quick heads up.
We couldn't find any butterhummers, but these should do the trick.
[cooing.]
Aww! [shouting.]
Hey, whose side are you guys on? - I got this.
- No.
No, if you hit them, they'll drop Meep.
Yeah, that's what we want, right? No, she's too high up.
She'll plummet to the ground and die.
So, I should throw the stone.
Wait, walk me through this again.
[shouting.]
Oh, forget it.
I guess I'll save my own wife.
Hey, eat me instead! I'm marinated.
I come with sauce.
[cooing.]
[shouting.]
[Meep.]
You did it, Snoot.
You finally killed for me.
Oh! How did you know those berries were poisonous? Eat a berry that's red and you'll end up dead.
Thinking! You killed it by thinking? I guess you're not worthless after all.
Thankfully, I'm married to the smartest man in Ahhh! Valley and not a rock-headed hunter like you.
[chuckles.]
He is rock-headed, isn't he? But he's also the best neighbor a guy could ask for.
But mostly stupid.
[laughing.]
You know, watching Snoot and Meep made me want a little romance, too.
You thinking what I'm thinking? Mm-hmm.
[Womp singing.]
[yawns.]
I'm tired.
Can I please go home now? - No.
- No.
Hmm.
[singing weakly.]