Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s02e05 Episode Script

1
BRRRR! YEAH!
VROOM! VROOM!
VROOM!
BEEP BEEP!
SCREECH!
BEEP BEEP! SCREECH!
VROOM! BEEP BEEP!
BRRRR!
SCREECH!
DELIVERY, MISTER?
DID YOU EAT BREAKFAS
THIS MORNING, ED?
HERE, GIVE IT TO DOUBLE
"D" TO PUT ON THE TABLE.
SERVICE IS MY MIDDLE
TOE. CHECK PLEASE.
SHOULD HAVE ATE BREAKFAST, ED.
SEEMS TO BE IN FINE CONDITION.
10 CENTS, A FAIR ASKING PRICE.
THIS COOL HELME
OUGHT TO BRING IN
QUIT FOOLING AROUND, ED!
[LAUGHING]
IT'S FOR MY TABLE, EDDY.
CAR DOOR ONLY 5 CENTS.
DAD'S CANOE 20 CENTS.
MOM'S DRYER 15 CENTS.
NO PRICE WILL BE
REFUSED AT HONEST ED'S.
TABLE 5 CENTS.
OOPS!
LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING!
UHHH AHH!
UHH.
AAH!
HUH?
CAFE AU LAIT!
WHAT DAY IS IT?
WHY, IT'S GARAGE SALE DAY, EDDY,
AND I'VE JUST FINISHED
PRICING MY MERCHANDISE.
5 CENTS FOR SKATES, 2
CENTS FOR A STACK OF COMICS?
WHAT ARE YOU? UP
THE ANTE, DOUBLE "D."
I'M CHARGING 50
BUCKS FOR THIS BABY.
50 DOLLARS?
EDDY, THE THINKING
BEHIND A GARAGE SALE
IS TO RECYCLE ONE'S
UNWANTED ITEMS
AT A FAIR AND ECONOMICAL PRICE.
MY STUFF AIN'T "ECONOMICAL."
THEY'RE DELUXE,
ONE-OF-A-KIND ITEMS.
YOUR SCHOOL PHOTO?
EDDY, PLEASE, THIS IS
HARDLY COLLECTIBLE.
Ed: MORE JUNK!
AAH!
NO, WAIT, ED!
WHOA!
Sarah: COOTCHY
COOTCHY COO. HEY, HEY!
YOU'RE RIGHT, JIMMY.
HE'S STILL BREATHING.
TOO BAD. LET'S MAKE SOME
THREE-BERRY SLUSHY, SARAH.
GIVE ME THAT. YOU GO
TO PAY FOR IT FIRST, JIM
Sarah: HE DID, SMARTY PANTS.
I GOT IT AT KEVIN'S
GARAGE SALE FOR A NICKEL.
WELL, IT SEEMS KEVIN'S GIVING US
SOME HEALTHY COMPETITION, EDDY.
ARGGGH!
NO MORE THAN 1. NO LESS THAN 4.
THEN 1 TURNIP AND 2
CARROTS, OR I WALK.
THROW IN 20 BUCKS,
AND IT'S YOURS.
THIS IS GOOD, BUT YOU ARE BAD,
AS ROLF WOULD HAVE
GONE AS HIGH AS 5 TURNIPS.
YOU ARE SO WEAK.
KEVIN JUST SCORED 20 BUCKS.
HOW MUCH IS THIS, KEVIN?
50 CENTS. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
Jonny, laughing: OK.
DOESN'T PLANK WANT ONE, TOO?
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
HOW DID HE KNOW?
I'M NOT SURE. COULD
BE AN INSTINCT.
I SMELL IT, TOO.
HE KNOWS TOO MUCH.
SOMETHING'S FISHY.
HUH? [KEVIN LAUGHING]
SEE YOU AT THE CANDY
STORE, DORK, DORK, AND DORKY.
UH, KEVIN SHEEPSKIN
SEAT COVERS.
WOW! HE KNEW WHA
I WAS GOING TO SAY.
SEE? HE'S GO
INSIDE INFORMATION.
HE KNOWS MORE THAN DOUBLE "D."
OH, REALLY?
SHALL WE INVESTIGATE?
Ed: DOUBLE D's GOT A PLAN, EDDY!
SHTICK.
Edd: I'VE CREATED A FEW
TOP-SECRET DEVICES.
IN ORDER TO SCRUTINIZE
KEVIN'S MASTER PLAN.
COOL! COOL!
LET'S SEE NOW. BEHOLD!
Ed: AHA!
IT'S A MOP. SO WHAT?
THIS COVERT HOUSEHOLD UTENSIL
CONTAINS A TINY RADIO
TRANSMITTER YAWN.
WELL, THEN, HOW ABOU
A BUCKET THAT HOLDS
A TAPE RECORDER
HIDDEN IN A FALSE BOTTOM? SEE?
QUIT HOLDING OUT, DOUBLE "D."
WHERE ARE THE SMOKE SCREENS,
OIL SLICKS, LASER WATCHES?
UM, DOUBLE "D," WHAT'S THIS DO?
THAT'S JUST A COAT HANGER, ED.
OH. MUM'S THE WORD.
WAIT A MINUTE. I
FOUND A JAWBREAKER.
EDDY, STOP! NO!
IT MAY LOOK LIKE A JAWBREAKER,
BUT IT'S REALLY A BAKING
POWDER VAPOR BARRIER
FOR QUICK ESCAPES.
WHY, JUST ONE
LICK Ed: BANANAS!
Eddy: WHOA! GIVE ME THAT!
A JET PACK!
PLEASE, EDDY, I'M
STILL TESTING IT.
WHOO-HOO! WORKS
FINE, DOUBLE "D."
OH, DEAR, EDDY!
WHOO!
BUT WE STILL NEED TO
PICK CODE NAMES, EDDY.
I AM THE CLAW, AND THE
CLAW WISHES TO FLY, TOO!
Eddy: AAH!
NICE ONE, ED.
Ed: THANKS, EDDY!
ALL THAT HARD WORK.
[ALARM SOUNDS]
IT'S THE KEVIN MOTION ALERT.
WE'RE RECEIVING A TRANSMISSION.
WHAT'S HE HOLDING?
ZOOM IN! ZOOM IN!
WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE CAMERA?
ONLY THE CLAW KNOWS!
Kevin: HUH?
DORK!
WE'VE LOST VISUAL CONTACT.
WE'LL NEED TO SWITCH TO
FIELD SURVEILLANCE, EDDY.
Edd: I'll EXPLAIN ON THE WAY.
THE CLAW IS NEEDED!
GET GOING! YOU ALMOST POKED ME
IN THE HEAD WITH THAT STUPID THING.
LOUDMOUTH TO THE
PROJECTOR, DO YOU READ ME?
Edd: EDDY!
I'M THE PROFESSOR.
WHATEVER. BIG CHIN
HAS MADE CONTACT.
WHOA!
YEAH, IN ONE SITTING.
YOU'RE SICK, MAN.
COPY THAT, LOUDMOUTH.
[WHISTLING]
HUH? HMM?
I THINK ED FOUND HIS
CALLING IN LIFE, HUH, ROLF?
ED BOY REMINDS ME
TO WATER MY YAM.
Kevin, laughing: YAM! GOOD ONE!
Rolf: THIS IS NO JOKE.
Kevin: YOU'RE KILLING ME.
HELLO. DIRECT ME
TO YOUR MUSIC BOX.
HUMPH!
Edd: A CODE OF SOME SORT.
THIS IS BIG.
WHOA!
Edd: THEY APPEAR TO BE
SOME CLANDESTINE ORDER.
BENT ON THE EXCHANGE
OF CLASSIFIED INTELLIGENCE.
AHA! SAY WHAT?
Edd: IT'S A MEETING
OF SPIES, EDDY.
Ed: LET ME, DOUBLE
"D"! I LOVE SPIES!
Eddy: GET IN LINE!
LOOKS LIKE JIMMY'S THE
BRAINS OF THE OUTFIT.
THERE'S SARAH.
OH, YEAH, IT'S THE PARCELS.
I BET THEY'RE LOADED
WITH INTELLIGENCE.
VERY GOOD, EDDY!
NOT BAD, HUH?
LET'S MINGLE AND SHU
DOWN THIS OPERATION.
Eddy: WHERE'D THEY
GO? WHO? WHAT? WHERE?
Ed: YOU GOT SLEEPIES
IN YOUR EYES, EDDY.
OH! LET'S GO, AGENTS.
HMM? HMM?
[BEEPING]
[LAUGHING]
[CRASH]
[DOORBELL RINGS] LET ROLF
GET THE DOOR, PALE JIMMY.
NICE LITTLE SOIREE,
HUH, ROLFIE BOY?
Rolf: YOU HAVE AN INVITATION,
OVERDRESSED ED BOY?
Eddy: THE CROW CAWS AT MIDNIGHT.
AND THE CAT SOURS THE BASIL.
ROLF WOULD LOVE
TO TALK POLITICS,
BUT I MUST SEE YOUR INVITATION.
NO PROBLEM, STRETCH. LOOK! WHO'S
THAT HAIRY BEAST EATING ALL THE DIP?
NANA?
HA HA!
SO, NAZZ, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
A MEMBER OF KEVIN'S INNER CIRCLE?
AAH!
QUIET, EDDY. I'M IN DISGUISE.
I HAVE REASON TO
BELIEVE THE REFRESHMENTS
ARE LACED WITH A
POWERFUL TRUTH SERUM.
A QUICK ANALYSIS
SHOULD VERIFY THIS.
WHOOP!
I'll FOLLOW BIG CHIN.
HMM? HMM.
[ENGINE STARTING]
UHH!
AWW! OH!
♪♪
YAY!
HEY, DOUBLE "D," I SNAGGED THIS
FROM KEV WHEN HE WASN'T LOOKING.
BETTER ANALYZE IT.
AAH! HUH?
H-HI, NAZZ.
Jimmy: NAZZ, YOUR
TURN TO HIT THE PIÃ'ATA.
Kevin: GO, NAZZ, GO!
Nazz: OK, GUYS.
NOW'S OUR CHANCE TO
CHECK OUT THESE PACKAGES.
KEVIN THINKS HE'S SO SMART.
GO, ROLF, GO! HA HA!
GOOD ONE, ROLF. LET ME TRY.
PARTY IS FUN, NO?
THIS ONE APPEARS TO BE
ANOTHER TEDDY BEAR, EDDY.
IT'S THOSE X-RAY
GLASSES. THEY'RE BUSTED.
EDDY, THINK ABOUT IT.
PACKAGES WITH RIBBONS,
PIÃ'ATAS, AND FUNNY HATS.
I THINK WE'VE MADE
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
Jimmy: HOLY MACKEREL!
HERE GOES!
GO, JIMMY!
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Jimmy: MY CANDY! MY
CANDY! HOT DIGGITY DOG!
AAH!
LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
Sarah: ED!
ARGGGH!
DO NOT DAUNT THE CLAW!
Sarah: ED!
YOU IDIOT, WHO SAID
YOU COULD COME?
PRESENTS!
HUH?
WHAT'D YOU GET?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I THINK THE QUESTION IS,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH
THIS?!
OH!
I'M SO MISUNDERSTOOD.
I WANTED A PONY.
[JIMMY CRYING]
THERE GOES THE BIRTHDAY BOY.
YOU DORKS WRECKED ANOTHER PARTY.
GOOD ONE, DOUBLE "D."
IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.
GOOD LUCK CATCHING US, AS
WE'LL BE INVISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE
WITH THIS BAKING
POWDER VAPOR BARRIER.
A SHROUD, ONE MIGHT SAY.
YOU SAID A MOUTHFUL.
IT'S POUNDING TIME.
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!
[EVERYONE SCREAMS]
NOW DO YOU SEE THE
IMPORTANCE OF EXTENSIVE TESTING?
WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
HUH?
Edd: MESSY, MESSY, MESSY!
BIG DEAL! LET'S RUN AWAY
BEFORE THEY GET BACK.
Kevin: WHERE WERE WE?
Eddy, nervously: HI, KEV.
Ed: COOL. THIS REMINDS
ME OF THE MOVIE,
ZOMBIES FROM THE
DEEP FREEZE. A CASH COW.
THIS IS THE PART WHERE
WE'LL BE TORN TO PIECES,
STUFFED INTO ICE CUBE TRAYS,
AND FROZEN AND USED
TO COOL THEIR DRINKS.
Edd: NON-ALCOHOLIC, I HOPE.
Eddy: SCREWDRIVER!
[HAMMERING]
Edd: THANK YOU.
SAW.
SAW!
[MORONIC LAUGH]
Eddy: HAMMER!
HAMMER! HAMMER! HAMMER.
THEY'LL NEVER
KNOW WHAT HIT THEM.
IT'S THE SCAM OF SCAMS!
READY, DOUBLE "D"?
I FAIL TO SEE THE CORRELATION
BETWEEN "READY"
AND "COMPLETE," EDDY.
PLUNGER, PLEASE.
DON'T GET YOUR SOCK
IN A KNOT, MR. PERFECTO.
PLUNGER, ED.
[ROOSTER CROWS]
ED, PLUNGER!
ARE YOU COUNTING
YOUR TEETH AGAIN?
[GASP]
NOW WHERE'D HE GO? HMM?
TAKE THIS!
AH! AND THAT!
AND THAT!
YOUR FLY IS OPEN.
THINK AGAIN, ZOMBIE MIND
MUNCHER FROM MUCUS MANSION!
HA HA!
WHOA!
DO NOT TRY TO ESCAPE, MUTANT,
AS I AM TOO GOOD FOR YOU!
HA HA! YOU'RE SNEAKY.
[GIGGLING]
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!
OH, MY BRAIN HAS BEEN MUNCHED!
Edd: NO SNAPPY COMEBACK, EDDY?
Eddy: TOO EASY.
ED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HUH?! OH.
I WAS SWORD-FIGHTING
WITH MY FRIEND JIB.
JIB, THESE ARE MY PALS,
EDDY AND DOUBLE "D."
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
UH, WHAT'S THAT?
JIB SAYS, "EDDY IS
AS BLIND AS A BAT."
[GIGGLING]
DON'T YOU SEE, EDDY?
JIB!
OK, SURE JIB!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I'M PLEASED TO MEET YOU, JIB.
YOU LOOK LIKE A STRONG JIB.
HOW ABOUT AN ARM WRESTLE?
[HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER]
HA HA!
JIB WANTS TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
BUT MY EYES ARE
STRAINING ALREADY.
[LAUGHING]
DO YOU THINK ED REALLY
BELIEVES THERE'S SOMEONE THERE?
Eddy: NAH! ED'S PULLING OUR LEG.
THIS IS JIB'S FAVORITE GAME.
JIB SAYS SIT.
JIB'S A PRETTY BOSSY GUY.
YOU HEARD HIM, DOUBLE "D." ED?
SASSAFRAS!
[EDD SCREAMING]
DIZZY! I'M DIZZY!
ED, YOU'RE SUCH A NECK.
Ed: JIB'S A HOOT, HUH, EDDY?
WHAT GOES ON, ED
BOYS? SPEAK TO ROLF.
WE'RE JUST PLAYING
WITH JIB ED'S NEW FRIEND.
I SEE NO JIB. WHAT JIB?
HAS A TRUCK BACKED UP ON
YOUR FRESHLY PAVED DRIVEWAY?
JIB LOVES CHICKENS, TOO.
TELL ME THE WAYS OF JIB.
ROLF IS CONFUSED.
JIB SAYS SIT.
[SCREAMING]
GET IT!
INFORM ROLF OF THIS JIB!
OK, YOUR TURN, JIB. ALLEY-OOP!
WOW, LOOK AT JIB, GUYS!
HA HA HA HA! JIB'S THROWING UP.
HA HA! I AM IN STITCHES!
AH, COME HERE, BRAVE SOLDIER.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH
FOOLING AROUND.
BACK TO WORK.
Edd: THAT WAS FUN, ED.
UGH!
WHY YOU!
IT WASN'T ME!
UM, JIB SAYS, "WORK
IS FOR SUCKERS."
NO WORK FOR JIB, HUH?
OK, JIB, WHAT THEN?
JIB SAYS HE WANTS TO
PLAY TAG. YOU'RE IT, EDDY!
OOH!
RUN, JIB! EDDY'S
TRYING TO TAG YOU!
COME HERE, YOU!
LET ME JUST GET MY HANDS ON YOU!
WHY YOU!
Ed: I'M HUNGRY.
LOOK AT ME! BOY, I'M GOOD.
[EDDY PANTING]
Eddy: ED!
Ed: RUN, JIB!
WELL, WELL, WELL.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT GUY?
COMICS, EDDY. IT'S
POISON FOR THE BRAIN.
THIS CANCER HAS SWALLOWED ED'S MIND,
CAUSING HIM TO INVENT AN IMAGINARY FRIEND.
I SUGGEST REEDUCATION
THROUGH CLASSIC NOVELS
WITH WEEKLY CEREBRUM MASSAGES.
IN YOUR DREAMS.
HMM.
GEE, JIB, YOU'RE GOOD.
LOOK AT HIM, PLAYING
BY HIMSELF LIKE AN IDIOT.
Ed: IT WAS JIB!
Edd: WELL, WITH DISTRACTIONS
AND ALL, IT'S COMPLETE, EDDY.
OH, BABY! BACK TO REALITY.
WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH!
NO ONE CAN RESIST A
PRIZE GRABBER MACHINE.
Jimmy: DID IT FALL OFF A TRUCK?
Sarah: THAT'S HOW MY
BROTHER WAS BORN.
Kevin: PRIZE GRABBERS ARE COOL.
BOY, THAT WAS FAST.
HURRY, DOUBLE "D."
I AMAZE ME.
LOOK AT THOSE
SUPER-DUPER PRIZES,
AND ONLY 25 CENTS.
COME ON, GO FOR IT.
GO FOR THE BOOMBOX,
THERE, JIMMY.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEAT.
BINGO!
HERE I GO. WATCH ME.
THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
Ed: HI, EVERYBODY.
Eddy: UGGH!
MEET MY NEW FRIEND JIB.
JIB, THAT'S JIMMY, KEVIN,
AND MY BABY SISTER SARAH.
ED, YOU'RE SCARING ME!
JIB MADE YOU PRESENTS.
All 3: PRESENTS?
I HATE JIB.
COOL! THANKS, JIBBO!
ISN'T JIB THE NICES
KID YOU EVER MET?
I'M SO TAKEN, I'M GOING
TO WIN YOU A PRIZE, JIB.
I LOVE YOU, JIB.
[GIGGLES]
JIMMY, STOP! JIB SAYS
THIS MACHINE IS A RIPOFF.
IT'S ALL A BIG SCAM!
WOW! THANKS, JIB.
ED!
Ed: WATCH OUT, JIB!
EDDY'S GOING TO TAG YOU.
I MUST EXPRESS MY CONCERN
OF ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING
WITH JIB AROUND.
I'M AT QUITE A QUANDARY.
FORGET YOUR LAUNDRY.
I HATE JIB!
AAH!
[SNARLING AND GROWLING]
OW! OW!
WE NEED EXPERT ADVICE.
EXPERT, HUH? LET'S GO.
[HUMMING]
HELLO, JONNY.
WE SEEM TO BE AT AN IMPASSE
AND WISH TO SOLICI
YOUR EXPERT ADVICE.
SAY WHAT?
UM, ED HAS AN IMAGINARY
FRIEND. CAN YOU HELP US?
IMAGINARY FRIEND? WHAT'S THAT?
COME ON, YOU KNOW
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND?
HMM.
SORRY. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
MAYBE PLANK KNOWS.
HMM? THIS IS OUR EXPERT?
SHH!
PLANK SAYS TO BUILD
AN INVISIBLE TRAP.
MAKES SENSE TO ME. DOUBLE
"D," DRAW UP THE INVISIBLE PLAN.
WITH INVISIBLE INK?
THIS IS BECOMING CONTAGIOUS.
WHOA! BUBBLY, HUH, JIB?!
JUST A FEW UNSEEN ADJUSTMENTS.
WELL?
A COVERT TWIST HERE.
IT'S READY, EDDY.
"READY, EDDY." I LIKE THAT.
OH, JIB! JIB, WE GO
A PRESENT FOR YOU!
HMM?
HMM!
[THUD]
SUCKER IN THE TRAP!
UGH! THOUGHT YOU COULD
OUTSMART US, HUH, JIB?
WHOA! WHAT THE UH JIB?
[JIB PUNCHING]
OOH! UH!
WHOA!
ED, DO SOMETHING.
EDDY HASN'T A CHANCE.
HUH?
AW, JIB'S JUST PLAYING.
HEY! WHAT'S WITH EDDY?
Ed: EDDY'S PLAYING WITH JIB.
Eddy: UNCLE! UNCLE!
Jimmy: JIB'S SO ATHLETIC.
[EDDY SCREAMS AND BUZZER SOUNDS]
[CHEERING]
[SOBBING] WHO'S GOING
TO PUSH ME ON THE SWING
OR GO FISHING WITH ME?
WHO'S GOING TO HELP
ME BUTTER MY TOAST?
UM TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS, ED.
Eddy: AND GOOD RIDDANCE!
YEAH, JIB!
TAKE THIS UGH!
JUNK WITH YOU!
YEAH, I'll MISS
YOU LIKE A HERNIA.
Everyone: BYE, JIB!
Jimmy: SEE YA!
[ED WHISTLES]
THIS STINKS.
YES, AND HE DID NOT EVEN
TRY ROLF'S CANDIED BEETS.
SO MANY THINGS LEFT UNSAID.
JIB SAID HIS WORK HERE WAS DONE.
CAN WE GIVE IT A REST, ALREADY?
Eddy: OH, ED!
APPARENTLY NOT.
GUESS WHAT I'VE GOT?
HMM?
IT'S AN INVISIBLE POTATO
IN AN INVISIBLE SLINGSHOT.
Ed: WHERE, EDDY? DON'T BLINK!
ED, EDD N EDDY!