Good Luck Charlie s02e05 Episode Script

And now for the finishing touch Mr.
Pancake smileyface gets a cherry nose.
That's so cute.
Is that for Charlie? Uh, yeah, for Charlie.
Thank you.
Hey, honey, I've got some great news.
There was a bedbug infestation.
At this really nice hotel downtown Bob, it is amazing what gets you excited.
Anyway, the manager of the hotel was so pleased with the job I did.
He's letting us stay in their most romantic suite this Saturday night.
That's great! You did get rid of all the bedbugs, right? It's not an exact science, honey.
The point is it's free! Well, there's just one catch who's gonna watch Charlie? We'll do it.
We're very responsible.
Don't worry I'll be here too.
- You guys are great.
- All right! It sure is nice to have kids we can trust.
And P.
J.
Let's throw a party! Wait what? No, me first.
I said let's throw a party.
When mom and dad are out of the house.
When do you ever do bad things? I can be bad.
I can be very bad.
- Cannot.
- Oh yeah? - Uh-huh.
- Watch this.
I'm gonna drink milk right out of the carton.
Because I'm bad.
Are you gonna swallow? Huh-uh.
- You wanna spit it out? - Mm-hmm.
today's all burnt toast running late, disaster has anybody seen my left shoe? I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud there it is up on the roof I've been there, I've survived so just take my advice hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right your life is up and down but trust me, it comes back around you're gonna love who you turn out to be hang in there, baby.
Mom, you wanna get that? Great! What's next? Making my own bed? - Hey, Jo.
- Why is your arm in a cast? Oh, I broke my finger.
See, I was playing baseb Okay, now back to me.
My mom says I have to go.
To this stupid thing called cotillion.
It's a stupid class where they reach you manners and social graces.
And other stupid stuff.
And there's a stupid dance.
And I have to bring a stupid date.
So I thought of you.
Pass.
Bye-bye now.
Oh come on, Gabe.
I think it'd be.
A great idea for you to go to cotillion.
Oh, now you show up.
Come on, I'll get you a little suit, we'll get Jo a lovely corsage.
Trust me, you'll love it.
Ever notice the things you say I'm gonna love I never love? Yeah.
Gabe's looking forward to it.
See you tonight, stupid.
Not that she needs any social graces.
So I don't have a say in this? You're just gonna force me to go? Oh, sweetie, that's part of the fun of being a parent.
Besides, I want at least one of my kids to have manners.
Mom, we're out of buns.
Oh yeah, you're going.
Okay, try this one.
Open up.
Okay.
Crunchy, And smooth.
It's a corn chip with a scoop of peanut butter.
I call it a corn butt.
It's good.
Needs a new name.
Hey.
What are you guys doing? Testing snacks for the party.
Care for a Butt chip? How about I handle the snacks? Oh, um, Teddy? - Looking forward to the party? - Mm-hmm.
May I have the first dance? You have butt chip breath.
I'll go brush.
I was being insulted and you should have defended me! I couldn't too busy being embarrassed by you.
What's going on? Ask the woman who just got kicked out of the grocery store.
I was standing in the 15-items-or-less line.
- Just minding my own business - With 17 items.
When this crazy woman in line behind us.
Starts screaming at me to get out of line.
Your mother handled it well though.
Grabbed the pricing gun, scanned the woman's face.
And through this entire ugly confrontation.
Your father stood there, like an oaf, eating a donut.
I was trying to get us down to 15 items.
P.
J.
, tell your father.
That I will not be speaking to him.
Until he apologizes for not backing me up.
Okay.
Teddy, tell your mother I will not apologize.
And that I will not be speaking to her Until she apologizes for embarrassing me.
Whoa, glad I didn't get that one.
Good evening and welcome to cotillion.
I am Mr.
Krump.
And I am Mrs.
Krump.
And I am planning revenge on my mother.
How are you this evening, Mr.
Krump? Very well, thank you.
And you, Mrs.
Krump? Oh, very well, Mr.
Krump.
Thank you.
I have never hated two people so fast before.
Now we'll be learning the art.
Of complimenting one's dinner partner.
You look very lovely this evening, Mrs.
Krump.
And you look most handsome, Mr.
Krump.
Now, children, your turn.
Compliment your partners.
Good evening, miss keener.
Your eyes are as blue as the vein on Mrs.
Krump's leg.
Why, thank you, Mr.
Duncan.
And may I say your cast is as green.
As the booger peeking out of Mr.
Krump's nose? Now, gentlemen, escort your ladies.
To a table and take your seats.
Now when dining, it is most important.
To use the proper utensils.
So pick up your smallest spoon.
And enjoy some melon balls.
Here, miss keener, enjoy this.
Exeellent technique, Mr.
Duncan.
But if you use your soup spoon.
You can have twice the enjoyment.
Oh! I believe I'll give that a try.
Oh ho ho! Oh ho ho.
All right, all right.
Who did that? Oh, what are you doing? Well, since I'm no longer talking to your mother, I figured I'd sleep down here tonight.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- I'll be all right.
I'm talking to the couch.
Next time you need your car insurance paid, Talk to the couch.
Uh, so, dad, Are you and mom still planning on going.
To that hotel tomorrow night? Not unless she apologizes.
She will be doing nothing of the sort.
- I thought you weren't talking to me.
- I wasn't.
- You just did.
- So did you.
Well, this is nice.
You've got a dialogue going.
- Oaf.
- Lunatic.
Oh, P.
J.
, is is bad.
If they don't go to the hotel tomorrow night then we can't have our party.
- Unless - Unless what? - Unless they - Unless they what? I got the ball rolling here.
I can't think of everything.
Step and turn and dip.
And done.
Now let's have a couple of students on the floor.
To demonstrate the position.
How about.
The melon launchers? Now the gentleman or in this case.
You Holds his left hand thusly.
And his right hand.
Around the lady's waist.
All right, now move in a little closer.
She's not going to bite.
Yes, but she will punch and kick.
It's true.
I do that.
Move a little closer.
Closer! There you go.
All right, gentlemen, please address your partners.
This is weird.
- It's not so weird.
- You like it? Yeah, kinda.
Ew! You like it.
- So? - So it's gross.
I don't want to be your boyfriend.
- I don't want to be your girlfriend.
- Good! - Good! - I'm outta here.
Fine! Don't worry.
He'll be back.
They always come back.
And regret it for the rest of their lives.
Look, dad, - I know you're right.
- And I know you're right.
But at the end of the day would you rather be right Or would you rather be happy? - Well - Happy.
The answer's happy.
All you have to do is just apologize to mom.
And if you can't do it for yourself, Do it for the kids.
All right, maybe you're right.
Attaboy, dad.
Yeah yeah yeah.
And besides, you should be used to apologizing to mom by now.
You've done it like 100 times.
I have, haven't I? That makes the score mom 100, dad nothing.
Dad, I said like 100 to nothing.
Maybe it's 200 to nothing, we don't know.
Don't listen to him, just go go go! For the kids.
I'm not apologizing.
I'm right.
And you know what? After today.
The score is going to be mom 100, Dad 1.
- What just happened here? - You blew it.
You started using numbers.
Stupid math.
Now we're gonna have to cancel the party.
No, we can't do that.
It's too late.
I'll just have to talk to mom and get her to apologize.
It won't be easy, but I can do it.
- Fortunately we have a special bond.
- Mmm.
- Mom - I'm not apologizing.
Good night.
Okay, P.
J.
, try one more time.
- Okay, Charlie, what's the matter? - I'm sad.
Why are you sad, Charlie? Mommy and daddy fight.
Yes, good job, Charlie.
Just try not to say it with a smile.
You're sad.
Let us feel your pain.
- She's two.
- So she can't give us a good performance? All right, Charlie, work your magic so we can have our party.
- All right.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Mom, dad, get in here.
- What's going on? - Everything okay? Charlie seems very upset.
Charlie, tell mommy and daddy what's the matter.
Party.
Party! Why does she keep saying party? Just stop focusing on what she just said.
Focus on what she said before, Which was "I sad.
Mommy and daddy fight.
" Yeah, and then she said, "I just wish they'd make up.
And go to the romantic suite at the hotel.
" - You said all that? - Party! Hi, welcome to the party.
Little change of plans.
You want to go around the house.
To that window over there and climb in through the basement.
My mom and dad are home.
So this is going to be a quiet party.
We're not gonna make any noise.
Now go have fun.
Hi, little change of plans.
Amy? Yes, Bob? Where's the couch? Oh, that old thing you've been sleeping on? I sent it out to be cleaned.
You know, usually when they clean a couch, They clean it when it's still in the home.
Well, couch eaners-to-go takes it to go.
I guess they have some sort of special process.
Very well, I guess I'll be sleeping on the couch in the basement then.
Yeah, I don't think so.
They were having a two-for-one special.
You think you're so smart.
There's an air mattress in the garage.
popped it! hey! Hey, party animals.
Here's a pen and paper, chat amongst yourselves.
Okay.
What?! What did I say?! Vibrate only! Emmett! Emmett, take the change out of your pockets.
Oh, right.
Oh! Dad's coming! Everybody into my room.
Go go go.
Go go go! Ahhh! Everything okay down here? Yeah, we're fine.
I mean, yeah, we're fine.
- I thought I heard noises.
- No no.
No.
No noises down here, dad.
Just down to the brother and sister getting along.
Ow.
Hey, hon what? Why aren't you dressed for cotillion? I'm not going.
Jo and I had a fight.
- What happened? - They made us dance really close.
And she liked it! It was gross.
Well, one day you'll feel different.
Then 20 years will go by.
And it will be gross all over again.
Gabe, jo's here.
- Gabe! - I'm sorry, what? I said give me my stupid flower, stupid.
Wow.
Not so gross now, huh? Just wait.
Is there anything I can get you, miss keener? I mean besides a refund which I can't get you.
I'm just here to pass the class.
Good evening, miss keener.
What are you doing here, stupid? May I have this dance? Thanks.
That was Okay.
Dinner, everyone, dinner.
- I have a surprise for you.
- Really? What is it? I put some earthworms into Mrs.
Krump's salad.
And she should be finding them right about Now.
Oh, miss keener, you are a delight.
Bob! Where is he? What? For heaven's sakes.
What are you doing? Fine.
I'm sorry, okay? What's that? I didn't hear you.
Don't make me say it again.
No no no, I mean I really didn't hear you.
I think my ears froze.
I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
And I behaved badly in the grocery store.
And I shouldn't have embarrassed you.
Man, this is hard.
I don't know how you've done it 162 times.
It's because I love you.
Mmm, I love you.
Come here.
Um You know there's a secret party going on downstairs? Yeah, of course I do.
You know we're gonna have to punish them? I'm way ahead of you.
are we gonna party? Mom, dad, we get it.
Okay, we're sorry.
We'll never do it again.
- Haven't we been punished enough? - Sprinkler? Oh, sprinkler, yes, definitely.
- Whoosh, whoosh - No! Hi, Charlie.
So finally tried doing something bad.
It didn't turn out so good.
I got punished.
- Running man.
- Running man? Yep, and I'm still being punished.
So always try and be a good girl, because if not Gooseneck! Yeah, good luck, Charlie.
So elegant, so poised.
Such sophistication.
Our finest pupil ever, Mrs.
Krump.
Uh-oh.
She's the last of the Duncan kids, right, Mrs.
Krump? One can only hope, Mr.
Krump.