Home Economics (2021) s02e05 Episode Script

1 Chapter 12 Ever since childhood, the Hayworth siblings loved to play games.
And that tradition continued with game night at Connor's.
Tom and Marina were looking forward to an evening of good food, big laughs, and making the loser cry.
Babysitter's all set.
We're ready to roll.
Well, I just ordered a $29 pizza for a $30-an-hour babysitter.
I know you can't put a price tag on fun, but, oh, I just did, it's $149.
Come on, game night's gonna be great.
Connor bought Giant Jenga, and then, you know, maybe later we can make the night really special.
All right.
We can have sex.
Oh.
Oh, you weren't talking about sex.
No, I was talking about playing "Settlers of Catan.
" But hey, your idea works, too.
I mean, I like it better.
It works better.
Oh! Wow! Good for Connor! - Who is that? - I don't know.
He didn't tell me he was dating anybody.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh! - That's my garage! - That's my Jessica! - How do you know Jessica? - How do you know Jessica? - How do you know Jessica? - Connor, you were kissing her.
You go first.
Okay, well, a couple of weeks ago, I was at this tech conference, and there was a panel on blockchain regulation, which, honestly, it's gonna dampen the growth - of the crypto market.
- Connor.
Okay, cool.
Anyways, there was this intelligent, successful, ambitious smoke show sitting next to me.
I make a joke about Elon Musk.
She laughs.
We've been dating ever since.
Now, how is she your Jessica? Well, she isn't not anymore but she was.
- What's going on? - Something dramatic.
Jessica broke my heart at summer camp.
She's Camp Girl? - I'm gonna need more wine.
- You know about this? Vaguely.
He told me, - but I always tuned out the details.
- Hmm.
It was an idyllic summer Camp Caribou.
Each night, the fireflies would light up the woods.
In the early-morning dawn, you might catch a glimpse of a black-tailed deer.
Why are you talking like you're narrating a book? Because the saga of me and Jessica is a chapter in my book, remember? It was that summer that Sarah and I went to Caribou, - you went to that lacrosse camp? - Best summer ever.
I averaged, like, three goals a game.
I slept with my stick every night.
Jessica and I were inseparable that summer.
Each night we'd sneak off down to the lake and talk about our love of Stephen King novels and the Counting Crows.
I can see why you tuned out the details.
Our final night at camp, we were supposed to meet at the farewell dance.
I made a leather bracelet for her.
I even carved her initials into it.
- But Jessica never showed.
- Aww.
You must have been so sad and cute.
The next morning we boarded different busses home, never to meet again.
I don't know I heard this rumor after that that she'd met this other boy down at the docks.
It just kind of messed with my head.
That fall, in got a B-minus in AP bio, and I guess that was it.
You know, that was the beginning of the end.
Yeah, your life really went downhill.
You're stuck with three beautiful children, a hot wife.
No, no, I mean, come on, you guys are great.
- "You guys are great"? - Well, she's coming back.
I invited her to game night.
She just had to go home and walk her dog.
Wait, what? She's coming back here? Now? Yeah, should I put on some Counting Crows? Okay.
Uh I'm sorry, man, I don't think I'm ready for this.
You had, like, 20 years to get ready for this.
Tom, we can't leave.
We're already 60 nonrefundable dollars in.
- Party time.
- Hey! - Hey! - What happened to your garage? Tom crashed into it after he saw Connor's new girlfriend.
- Whoa! - Ooh! - She must really be something.
- Sarah, it's Jessica.
- Hmm? - Camp Girl, Jessica.
- No frickin' way.
- She must really be something.
She's coming over here now, for game night.
Wow! Wow! You remember how brutal that was for me.
Yeah, I mean, you cried on my shoulder the entire way home from camp.
Well, not the entire way home.
It was, like, a six-hour drive, and you sobbed through my sweater.
Tom, it was traumatic.
I mean, I'm not saying this just as your sister, but as a newly employed therapist, I don't think it's healthy for you to see this woman.
- Connor, this is too soon.
- It's been decades.
I'm not uninviting her.
And the babysitter meter's running.
Exactly.
You get it.
So what game are we playing first? Oh, I think we should probably wait for Jessica.
Man, in my experience, waiting for Jessica is not a great idea.
I'm getting a drink.
That's actually a pretty good burn, Tom.
You're paying 30 an hour, too? But your kids are older.
Babysitting is one big hustle.
Exactly.
We have to pay extra so that they're CPR-certified? I've never once seen them use that.
Total rip-off.
- Well - And we're going out again next Friday.
Sofia Salazar is doing a tasting menu for her new restaurant.
I'm so tired of her.
If only she weren't a magician with duck fat.
- Maybe you could sit for us.
- Oh, well, we were actually gonna go to a friend's gallery show, and I was gonna ask you to sit for us.
Hang on.
Care to make game night a little more interesting? More interesting than a Tom/Connor love triangle? What do you got? The loser babysits for the winner next Friday whoever wins the most games tonight.
Ooh.
Now you're talking.
You got yourself a bet.
You're gonna regret this.
The wins are diaper-wrecking machines.
Alejandro's ding-dong has a mind of its own.
It's like a broken sprinkler.
We're not gonna be changing any diapers.
We're gonna be out on the town, while two moody tweens force you to learn TikTok dances.
Mm.
You know, Tom seems fragile.
Maybe we should reschedule.
Tom always seems fragile.
He's our little teacup.
Well, I got some liquid courage chamomile.
I think I'm gonna be good.
Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
Tom, no need to put on a brave face.
You don't have to do this.
- Yes, we do.
- We do, Lulu.
Look, I'm actually excited to see Jessica.
It's a chance for me to get closure on something that's haunted me for years.
Who did she ditch me for that night? No.
No, no, no.
Tom, no.
You should not confront her.
I mean, you know, sometimes closure is more painful than it is helpful.
And I don't want you to make things weird.
And I need you to be sharp tonight.
Okay.
It's a little it's a little hot.
Oh, boy.
So, um, about that wager Mm-mm.
We shook on it.
- Damn it! - Every woman that I'm interested in, one of you guys has a problem with.
I mean, first, Lindsay, now this? I mean, if you guys don't want your brother to date people you know, stop meeting hot people! Seriously, though, Tom, I like Jessica, okay? Please don't blow this thing up.
Yeah, I mean look, maybe closure is overrated.
I'll just let it go.
- Mm.
- Cool.
Let it go Let it go I'm gonna let it go - He's not gonna let it go.
- Mm-mm.
Lulu, honey, could you join me in the other room, please? Okay.
You see what a mess Tom is? - We cannot lose.
- Lulu Marina and Tom better have a bucket, because we are gonna mop the floor with them.
That's a good line.
I should use that.
Listen, you know how Tom wants to find out - which guy Camp Girl ditched him for? - Yeah.
That's all he can think about.
You can't win game night - when that's on your brain.
- Well, that guy was me.
- Camp Girl was Dock Girl? - Mm-hmm.
You didn't tell me Tom was part of that story.
Well, I was too embarrassed.
You know, Jessica was my bunkmate and my first lesbian crush, and she was so cool and pretty and fun.
And your brother's girlfriend.
That last night I went down to the dock because I was so depressed.
I never thought I was gonna see her again, and I-I couldn't tell her how I felt.
And so I sat there watching the reflection of the fireflies on the water's surface.
You and Tom are so related.
And then, suddenly, through the mist, there she was.
And she put her arm around me, and we kissed, - and - And she never met Tom for that dance.
I caused Tom so much pain.
If he confronts Jessica and the truth comes out, - he will never forgive me.
- You don't know that.
- This was a million years ago.
- He has no concept of time.
- He's like a dog.
- Okay, you were a kid.
Stop beating yourself up.
And who knows? Maybe when Jessica drove off, she realized she was dating Connor, and why would she want to do that? And she'll never come back.
Oh, please, oh, please.
You know, to be fair, we didn't give the universe enough time to manifest that.
- So, you're cool, right? - Yeah, I'm cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Hey, I'm like The Fonz.
Hey! Mm.
There you are.
- You look great.
- Thanks.
Uh, Jessica, this is Marina and my brother, Tom.
Hey.
Oh, wait, did Did we go to camp together? Or I don't know, did we? I can't remember.
- But maybe you do.
- We did? - Huh.
- Huh.
Tom.
- And this is my sister.
- Oh, my God, Sarah! You remember me.
We are not winning game night.
This is so crazy I mean, what are the odds that I went to camp with Tom and Sarah, and now I'm dating Connor? I guess I have a thing for the Hayworth Men, Hayworth men.
What a charming bunch.
Actually, you'd even like my dad.
But that'd be weird.
It's just a small world, I guess.
You know, so much to catch up on if you want to.
Or not.
Or whatever.
I mean, I don't care.
Yeah, I don't think we want to.
We came to game.
And this team is gonna crush it.
It is weird.
Now I have all these memories flooding back.
- Sarah, do you remember - I do.
I do.
Good old Camp Caribou.
Whoo! That's you know, that is such a cute jacket.
Do you want me to hang it up? Actually, you know what? You should probably come with me, in case I forget which closet I put it in, because the closet space here is Aah! So many closets.
So come on with.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Perfect.
And I will talk to Tom about how tonight is going to go.
The cold never bothered me anyway It's going great.
So what is your life like now? I have so many questions.
You know, where do you live? What do you do? Well, I'm CTO of an app company.
We kissed.
You remember that, right? The last day of camp on the dock.
How could I not? You were supposed to meet Tom at the dance, but you kissed me.
Yeah, and you kissed me back.
I did.
I did.
Oh, Sarah we can't.
- I'm with Connor now.
- What? Oh, no, Jessica, I'm not hitting on you.
I just wanted to get you alone.
Okay, that sounds bad.
And you brought me to a storage closet.
Yeah, I'm seeing the optics now.
Listen, here's the thing Tom doesn't know about you and me and the dock, and I would really appreciate it if we kept it that way.
He would be devastated if he knew that I was the reason why you didn't make it to the dance.
But that was so long ago.
Yeah.
Tom's a writer now, and, um, you're literally a chapter in his book.
Whoa.
- That's a lot.
- Yeah.
Tom's a lot.
Kind of dodged a bullet on that one.
But can we agree to protect him? - Absolutely.
- Okay.
I guess it wasn't our finest moment.
No, no, but it was a moment.
For me too.
I mean, that that was when I realized I was bi.
It was the most amazing summer until the summer that I interned at Oracle and realized how tech was gonna change everything.
Yeah, you're definitely with the right Hayworth.
All right, let's go.
You know what? Connor's right.
I'm overthinking this.
This all happened so long ago.
I mean, who even cares anymore? Guess what this is.
Me, not caring.
You know who's ready to crush game night? This guy.
That's the spirit.
You're gonna crush it.
Hey, Marina, I was thinking about what you said earlier, and I think that maybe we should call off the bet.
I just noticed that Sarah's really exhausted, - so - Huh.
Bet's a bet, Denise.
Oh.
You know what? You're right.
Bet's a bet.
Let's do this thing.
And let's sweeten the deal.
Loser babysits for a month.
A high roller.
I likes.
You guys okay? - It's a person.
- Uh Bedspring.
- I said it's a person.
- You can't talk.
So intense like the guys at Pali Capital - trying to get in on Squarespace.
- Uh, pasta.
I made that reference a couple weeks ago.
- Ponytail.
- None of these guys got it.
Slinky.
Tornado.
- So, Tom, you're a writer now? - Squigglies.
You always did love books.
Oh, so you do remember that summer.
Curlicue.
Slip 'N Slide.
Well, I remember some things, I mean, but most of that summer is a blur.
Oh, yeah, totally.
I mean, for me, too.
I barely remember it, - but I also do remember a lot of it.
- More pasta.
- Tom.
- What? - Game night.
Focus.
- And time.
Boom, we're up.
Shirley Temple.
A person? All right, let's see what I have to draw here.
You probably don't remember that dance.
- Tom! - Sorry.
Take your time, Tom.
Run out the clock.
I'd say he's not always like this, but he's literally always like this.
It's a thing.
A ball.
The moon.
A coconut.
Wonder what I'm gonna wear Friday.
- An eyeball.
- Maybe stilettos.
- An ovary.
- Something that says I'm a winner.
Draw something else.
Sorry, it's like I'm just kind of distracted.
Okay, this isn't gonna work.
Jessica, I'm sorry, I have a lot riding on this game.
Why didn't you meet Tom that night at the camp dance? W-what? She brought it up first, not me.
Jessica, you don't have to answer this.
Exactly.
Your mouth, your choice.
Not that it matters, but time.
Okay, um the truth is I got food poisoning that night.
I, um, told one of the counselors to tell you, but obviously that didn't happen.
I-I'm so sorry.
Wow.
Uh, yeah, I guess that's all I needed to hear.
Thank you.
- Great.
- Okay, we're good.
Finally, closure.
It was a lollipop.
Okay, I just ran this into Connor's garage.
- Car.
- Bumper.
Department of Motor - Vehicles.
Vehicle? - Yes.
- That was too easy.
- Rigged.
You're just jealous.
Go ahead, baby.
Um, food poisoning.
Vomit.
Sickness.
Give more clues.
I'm sorry, Jessica, you said food poisoning? Tom! Have you never played a game before? This says zebra.
You've been Taboo'd.
I just can't get this out of my head.
Everyone at camp eats the same food, and you're the only one who got sick? How could you possibly know that? I was very close to the nurse.
I bet it was those jellybeans that your mom gave you in that care package do you remember that? I did like those jelly beans.
My daughter has a whole candy room I'll hook you up.
Hang on.
You can't get food poisoning from jelly beans.
- Now you're a toxicologist? - Oh, time.
It's our turn.
Okay.
This is an athletic event played at a diamond.
I'm sorry.
It just doesn't add up.
Please tell me.
I mean, I won't be mad.
It was Matt Stillman from bunk 12, wasn't it? Tom, it's been a real pleasure, but I think you should leave.
Oh, come on, I just I need to know.
Please.
I won't be mad, I swear.
Fine.
The truth is it was Matt Spillman.
- Stillman.
- Stillman.
Matt Stillman! I knew it.
I knew it! All these years oh, Matt Stillman.
He and I went swimming that night, and then we kissed on the dock.
I'm sorry, I was a dumb teenager.
Wow.
This is actual closure.
You know, I thought, before, I had closure, but this is, like this is, like, real closure.
Thank you, Jessica.
Our chapter is now completed.
And I can go complete my chapter.
Whew! Feels good, doesn't it? Should we call it a night? When the host tell setup to go, you go, so No! We are tied.
Absolutely not.
When we start game night, we finish night.
I think we broke it.
- It's not a good one.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
- You're gonna fail.
- Whoa.
- No, no, no, no.
Oh! - Pew! - Okay.
All right, calm down.
She has to put it on the top still.
Don't screw up.
Don't get too nervous.
Oh, my gosh.
Don't no.
- High cinco.
- Matt Stillman couldn't swim.
- Oh, God.
- No, not again.
Matt Stillman couldn't swim.
He was terrified of water.
Remember he had that meltdown at that kayak race? Yet you're saying that the two of you were swimming around like a couple of water nymphs? Tom, we are so close to winning.
- Maybe I should go.
- No, no, no.
Tom, you should go.
He just called you a nymph.
Why can't this be a normal game night? - You're acting crazy.
- This is just like "Saw.
" This is just like the movie "Saw.
" So embarrassing.
We're, like, in front of people Embarrassing? Stop! Stop! It wasn't Matt Stillman, okay? It was me.
I kissed Jessica.
I'm sorr I'm sorry.
The blocks fell during your turn, so But that's not important right now.
You've been hiding this from me for over 20 years? I was hoping that you would forget about it? You dried my tears on the bus ride home, and the whole time, you knew you were the cause of them.
I'm sorry, okay? I felt awful about it then, and I feel awful now.
I-I didn't mean to betray you.
- Why did you do it? - I don't know! I don't know, okay? I I had feelings for a girl for the first time ever, and I was ashamed and confused.
If I told you the truth then, it would have meant coming out, and I couldn't even come out to myself.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I-I didn't know.
It's okay.
You couldn't have known.
No, I've been self-centered.
I mean this whole time I thought that Jessica was a chapter in my book, but I mean, she's really a chapter in yours.
Thank you.
You want to Should we hug? - No, not really.
- Oh, okay.
Come here.
Look, Sarah, we got to be more open with each other.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Is there anything else from the past that you want to get off your chest? Stop.
No, that was it.
Okay.
I'm the one who broke Dad's train set.
- I got grounded for that! - I know.
- Choo-choo! - Get off of me! Well, I would've won if your husband was capable of normal human behavior.
Hey, I take no pleasure in this.
That's a lie.
I am taking so much pleasure in this.
This is not a good look on you.
You ditched my brother to kiss my sister.
Is that weird for you? No.
Come on, it was, like, a million years ago.
And unlike them, I'm actually a functioning adult.
- It's quite a family.
- Yeah.
You have no idea.
Maybe our next date can be just the two of us.
Why, was this night not romantic enough for you? Hey, I'm making Peanut Butter White Russians.
Who wants some? - Uh, yes, please.
- Yeah.
You don't spend that much time with your siblings, do you? No.
No, no, no.
Of course not.
Yeah, we only do game night, - like, once a month.
- Oh.
I guess we do do brunch every weekend.
And Sarah I see all the time now, 'cause she's actually a counselor at my daughter's school.
For Halloween, we're all going trick-or-treating with the kids.
We're doing, like, a group theme.
I'll put you on the costume thread.
And Marina I watch all the 49ers games with.
Denise, she's, like, a adviser/consultant to my business now.
And sometimes we'll just call each other, just out of the blue, for no reason, just to say hi.
This isn't gonna work, is it? It was fun.
Okay, who's ready for an early bedtime? Wonderful.
Look, we shouldn't be that late.
And if you want to order pizza or something, that's cool.
- We'll pay you back.
- Tom, we won the bet.
- You don't have to be nice.
- Hold on.
I have a proposition for you.
Double or nothing two months of babysitting.
No blackout dates, no heads-up, no pretending like you're not home.
- Two months? - Two months.
What about dinner with Sofía? I mean, technically, she's my boss.
Two months of babysitting, Tom.
- Set it up.
- Uh, what's happening? Well, looks like it's game night again.
Oh.
Hey, uh, you never met my college girlfriend, did you? Arianna.
- How could I forget? - Okay.
- Very funny.
- Mm.
Just to clarify, that was a that was a joke, right?