I Hate Christmas (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

1
4 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS
Thyme leaves, juniper berries, and cloves.
Filippo made me buy all sorts.
And who uses cloves
these days anyway? Really!
Anyhow, Filippo won't even
make us breakfast anymore,
let alone Christmas dinner.
Mmm.
Why don't you two make up?
He's the one who started it.
I definitely went too far,
but it's not my fault Pippa's mental.
Well, you two argued,
so now you should make up.
No, I'd rather order pizzas for Christmas.
But now I've got this little doubt
in my head, thanks to him!
What's wrong?
Oh, it's
Well, do you feel you've loved before?
Like felt a true love
for someone in your life?
Yes.
Myself. Every day.
And Mario for a while of course,
but he tried to change me,
so I decided to go back to loving myself.
Hmm.
All right, I'll admit it.
She likely wasn't
the best person to go to.
But what if Filippo's right?
What if I've never
loved a man my whole life?
I'm not really sure if I've ever seen
Santa's sleigh before, but how
but how'd you ever know?
I HATE CHRISTMAS 2
I've loved all the guys
I've ever been with, without question.
But that can't be
true, true love with just everyone!
Oh, never mind her.
She doesn't know what she's talking about.
With my husband it was like bang,
love at first sight, like lightning.
So the lightning bolt,
metaphorically speaking, is more a flash,
or a star that looks like
Santa's sleigh, possibly?
- No, it was like whiplash.
- Ah.
Why? Do you like someone
and you're not sure if it's real love?
It's for a friend writing her thesis
"How would you describe true love?"
- and she needs a few testimonials
- A journey into a new world.
I felt it once before.
I just didn't realise at that point.
[gentle, mysterious music playing]
No, hold on,
that sounds a bit bizarre to me.
You can confuse non-true love with true
love,
but you can't confuse true love
with non-true love.
[Davide] I don't know.
Maybe that can happen when you're afraid.
But an expert will know much more.
An expert like your friend
from the other night?
What do you mean?
I wanted to say "cougar".
But then I remembered
we're the same age, so yeah.
Actually, Silvia's a coordinator
for the NGO.
We met each other in Bali.
We're just friends, we're not together.
Actually, I went to ask her
to assign me to another project
before Christmas. So I'm leaving.
Gianna, there's an emergency
with bed 27. Can you go? I can't.
- Oh no, Stella. Excuse me.
- [Davide] Yeah
Gianna, I I
- Stella.
- Stella.
[Umberto] Stella? We're here.
[Gianna] Hold on to me.
[Umberto] One, two, three.
What happened? Did you fall over?
No, I I fell asleep,
and then I woke up
and got out of bed to go to the bathroom.
I felt a terrible pain in my leg
and it wouldn't hold me up anymore.
Can you still feel the pain there?
No, not as much
if I don't put weight on it.
But I already know what this pain means.
I'll take you for a PET scan.
[sombre music playing]
[music trails off]
And I was right.
It's returned.
Unfortunately, the PET scan showed a mass.
We need to do a biopsy, but it could be
the same type of osteosarcoma.
My other leg this time.
What's next?
The oncologist will know.
But this type of tumour is known
for spreading very quickly,
and the treatments may not be enough.
Of course.
Losing my other leg is still
much better than losing my life.
[Gianna sobs]
[melancholy pop music playing]
I feel like a complete idiot.
But just because there are bigger problems
doesn't mean that all the others
don't have the right to exist.
We've been a bit childish.
I really do want to say one thing though.
I've been thinking about it a lot.
Apart from Santa Claus,
apart from Gisella,
the real problem for me is that, um
The problem is, I just don't think
you ever really loved me.
Why do you think that? What
What do you mean?
Loving someone, in my books,
means completely letting them
into your life.
Giving yourself entirely and accepting
all parts of the other person,
even the bad things.
With you, I always felt as though
you weren't quite letting me in entirely.
And what you didn't like about me,
you just put away in the cupboard.
A bit like what you did
with the formaldehyde heart
that my mother gave me for my graduation.
Did really you think I didn't notice
you made it disappear as soon as I left?
[Gianna] I really was listening to him.
[quirky music playing]
But then an itty-bitty doubt
began creeping in.
Might it all come down
to being a mummy's boy,
just like your usual Italian man?
Huh? Is that the reason
he can't forgive me?
Or could it be
I'm the average stereotypical Italian girl
who blames her mother
to avoid admitting her own mistakes?
I'm like my mother,
who always blamed my grandmother.
[Gianna] Mum?
[faint laughter]
[Marta] We could try.
Slow down, slow down.
Slow down? No, no. [Pietro chuckles]
[Marta] Pietro, you're naughty.
[Gianna] It was horrifying!
It's not like Mum and Dad
have ever been normal.
But is it normal for you
to argue with Filippo
and then for us to have to freeze
in the cold like three idiots?
Do you know
what the therapist asked me the other day?
"Tell me what you were like
as a little girl."
And I told her I was
always worried and anxious.
That statement actually says
a lot about your relationships.
- Like what?
- Sure you want to know?
- Yes. Oh, come on.
- Come inside, I'll tell you in there.
What it means is that you always manage
to get yourself dumped
by men you could build
a serious relationship with, yeah?
So, the problem
with our love lives lies with us?
Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
Guido and I were great at first,
then life started getting complicated.
All I did was keep complaining,
instead of admitting that I was
scared of not being good enough.
Look what happens
when you binge-watch romantic comedies.
So what did I do wrong then?
You should listen to Umberto. He had
no way in. You left him on the doorstep.
No, we both stayed at my place
every other night, and
- "In", as in, in your
- Oh, "in"! Metaphorically into my heart.
Does he know you're afraid
of taking blood samples?
No, absolutely not.
I have to take blood samples.
No one can know about that.
Okay then, tell me, have you ever made him
eat a whole cake because you were sad?
No.
Have you ever called him at 3:00 a.m.
because you were going crazy?
No, no. No.
But letting someone truly into your life
means exactly that, though.
I'm really, really cold.
- I get it. Go inside.
- I'm cold. I'm going inside, yeah.
- I've got resolutions!
- Oh God, please. I beg you.
I want to make a serious effort
in trying to fix my marriage.
Because honestly I've been pretending.
What a good idea. Invite him to the party
tomorrow night and it'll be done.
What party?
Alessandro and his colleague from work
are organising a party
called "Festa Illegal".
- He says I can bring whoever I want.
- Ah, illegal
[Margherita chuckling]
Oh my goodness.
Next time you argue,
make sure it's in August, okay?
- Didi?
- Yeah?
I heard you talking
about the "Festa Illegal"?
- Mmm.
- That guy I told you about is going too.
I heard him talking about it.
Let me tag along, I beg you!
"Underage" and "illegal"
don't go that well together, you know?
- But it's just a pun.
- Oh really?
"Illegal", and they're lawyers.
Explain it to me, please.
Oh please, oh please,
oh please, oh please.
Okay, but I'm dressing you.
We'll be even and we can be done with it.
Thanks for the other day.
Anyway, I know you call me "Pollyanna".
[chuckles softly]
But I'm not like her.
I absolutely hate this pain.
And the only way to overcome it is
to show it how strong I really am.
That my life is special,
and to enjoy each day.
Oh, I know.
Beautiful, friendly,
plus diversely disabled.
- It's impossible not to love me.
- Oh, well, never mind, I give up!
Actually, I'll raise you.
If the doctor gives permission,
I'm taking you out tonight.
Wait, really?
- [both chuckle]
- Let's party.
[lively, eccentric music playing]
[camera shutter snaps]
[phone chimes]
TODAY
GIANNA
[phone beeps]
Uh, hi, Umberto, uh
I was calling to say that you were right,
because I took the heart
out of the cupboard.
Uh, wouldn't you know,
it's not all that horrible.
Would you like to come to a party tonight?
[phone dings]
That's not true. It's super spooky.
It's super-duper spooky.
It's creepy and spooky.
But you heard Stella.
Even horrible things are part of life.
No, I'm not saying that a distaste of this
is the same
as an amputated leg, obviously.
It's a metaphor for a
[tapping keyboard]
I'M WORKING TONIGHT.
[phone chimes]
I'M SORRY FOR MESSING EVERYTHING UP.
YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S TOO LATE TO FIX THINGS.
SHIFTS CAN ALWAYS BE CHANGED, CAN'T THEY?
[phone chimes]
[hummin happily]
["Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels"
by Todrick Hall playing]
Yes!
And Margherita was right.
Yep, you have to present yourself.
Don't be afraid of risks.
Let everyone see the real person.
And it really works!
So, I promise the next time
I'm feeling slightly sad,
he's going to need to finish
an entire cake.
But the needle thing, the fact
that they scare me, that's for later.
Girl, I don't dance, I work ♪
I don't play, I slay ♪
I don't walk
I strut, strut, strut and then sashay ♪
I don't work for free
No, that's not the tea hunty ♪
So make it rain on me
And I might let you see ♪
- What you gonna let them see? ♪
- My nails, hair, hips, heels ♪
Nails, hair, hips, heels ♪
Nails, hair, hips, heels
Nails, hair, hips, heels ♪
Ta-da!
- [Gianna] Beautiful!
- No.
Don't think so. Doesn't suit you.
Lovely, but a bit much.
No, no, no, no!
No.
[song trails off]
We'll have to put a sign 'round your neck
that clearly states "underage".
- I don't even recognise myself.
- I know.
Girls, are you ready? Hey!
Do you like it?
- Wow!
- Beautiful!
Come on, let's hurry up.
I don't want Guido to get there before me.
- Mm-mmm.
- [Monica] I'll join you later.
I told Dad I'd wait for him
and that we'd go together.
Okay. See you later.
["Trick Me (Club Mix)" by Kelis playing]
Said I've paid my dues
For all that I've done ♪
And I showed you
That I loved you more than once ♪
[no audible dialogue]
There's nothing left there to decide ♪
I used to be down
With the late-night hit ♪
Started gettin' heavy
When I really wasn't ready ♪
It's okay to do a late shift, but this
Well, I can understand that Umberto
wanted to brush up. But Guido?
Well, he could've
wanted to dress up too, right?
No.
I'm going to call him.
A drink?
[smooth electronica music playing]
That that was mine.
- No worries.
- I'm sorry, I'll
I won't give it back to you,
but I'll make you another one.
No, I won't because
we're not at my bar, but I'll
- I'm Stella.
- Filippo.
Did your dad make you change?
I'll talk to him. I'll tell him.
No, he had nothing to do with it.
I got changed before he came back.
Why? You looked gorgeous.
You were perfect.
That wasn't me, I was someone else.
I want that guy to see me
for who I really am. The real McCoy.
Okay. You told me you wanted
to win him over, you wanted to be all
By the way, there he is.
[quirky music playing]
Monica, that's the guy you like?
Forget about him.
I mean, even dressed like that.
- I'd stay away from him, he's not
- Hey!
- Hi!
- right for you.
Hi, Davide.
Hi. Um, remind we where we met?
- At my father's bar.
- Of course.
Sorry. I just didn't recognise you
dressed like this.
- How's your friend doing now?
- Better.
Actually, I think the meals I get
from yours seems to do him good.
- [Monica chuckles]
- It's Manuela, right?
Excuse me, I need to go inside now.
See you later. Bye.
Manuela?
He was close enough, though.
He got at least three letters.
Being close only matters
if you're playing bowls, to be honest.
And I don't want to say this
because it's horrible,
but I did tell you so.
What did you tell me?
That you just have to dress
a certain way for guys to like you?
Listen, it was you who came to me saying,
"Let's dress up all sexy" and all that.
And yes, anyway, it does help, evidently.
At least I know
he doesn't like me for who I am.
What about you?
Do men like you for who you are
or for who you pretend to be?
[gentle, introspective music playing]
- [Pavan] What is this, a school disco?
- [laughs]
- Do you know that kid then?
- Uh, no.
- No?
- No.
- Shall we go inside? Come on.
- Yes.
[club music pulsing]
Hey.
- Oh, hey! So you're here too!
- Yeah.
Now I'm going to expect you
to show up in my living room too!
- If you want me to, I will.
- Just joking.
But at least that way,
I could talk to you properly.
I've been wanting to speak to you.
Wait, first can I Maybe I should start,
because I really want to be
as sincere as I can,
to help me show you the real me.
- But I need to practise.
- Of course.
Because the truth is
that I think you are the only person
who I've ever really
fully opened up to and let in.
And perhaps the fact
that you're that much younger than me was
why I knew deep down
that you'd never have stayed.
So clearly, you were right to leave me!
There probably wasn't any hope for us.
Gianna, he's not answering his phone.
- What if he's dead?
- No, no, no. He's not dead!
- Oh, it's Toy Boy!
- This is
[chuckling]
- Excuse me, can you give us a moment?
- No worries.
Are you an idiot? Toy Boy?
Toy Boy is our thing! His name is Davide!
All right, I'll say sorry to him. We have
more important things to think about now.
Yes, I know. Umberto also hasn't arrived.
- [whimpers]
- But it's not that late though.
I mean Guido may be driving
and can't check his phone.
Look at this, I called him 20 times.
That's 20 phone calls, Margherita!
Twenty Phone calls! No!
I don't think he's coming.
Mm-mmm.
- And do you know what the worst thing is?
- That he didn't call to let you know?
No. That I miss the man I married.
And it took a party
for me to realise that!
Why don't you tell him?
- You're a genius.
- Ah, well
- I'll go now.
- No, not now!
- No, you've just called him 100 times!
- Twenty-three!
And anyway, Guido doesn't like
being on the phone. I know him.
Tomorrow you'll have a clear head,
just wait!
Are you waiting for someone?
Mmm. Umberto, who's not coming anyway.
That means I won't get the chance
to let him in now.
He's never been to your house?
Don't worry.
[chuckling]
Hey.
- You're still here?
- [Stella] I convinced him.
Your friend is nice, after all.
Shall we go and dance?
Uh, yeah, yes. Um
- I'll be there in a minute, okay?
- Okay, cool.
[Filippo sighs]
[Filippo] Okay
I'm sorry about the other night.
I said some horrible things.
No, it was all true.
You were right.
I've never known true love
because I've never let it in.
I'm sorry for messing up your life a bit.
In fact I'm the one who is messed up,
I'm a disaster.
You're not a disaster, you're a
tornado.
I think a tornado is worse
than a disaster though
No.
A tornado changes your perspective.
It makes you go out with people
you wouldn't normally have spoken to.
It organises a night at the bar for you.
It even makes you eat a whole panettone.
[delicate, tender music playing]
It calls you at any time
of the day or night to
talk about its fears.
Or even just to talk.
That's true, I did that.
So, yes, yes,
you did mess up my life, yes, but
thank you, because you made me live,
and I had a lot of fun too.
[Gianna, shakily] Mmm.
Actually, I'm sorry.
I've behaved stupidly.
Me too.
[Stella] Hey.
You said you'd be a minute!
Yes, uh, ah
Yes, yes, you're right.
It's just that I'm exhausted. I'll pass.
Let's have one more go.
Let's dance like no one's watching,
all right?
So you do remember.
[Gianna laughing]
Come on,
Let's go.
["BABY GODDAMN" by Tananai playing]
[Italian pop-rap song playing]
Are there no normal men?
Oh, hey!
Anyway, I get it,
that heart is really horrid.
Yeah!
I missed you like crazy.
[dreamy club music playing]
It's bizarre to think about it, really.
It started just the same way.
What did?
The disaster.
The same feeling of happiness
on the morning of Christmas Eve.
And then, I don't know,
I kind of panicked.
Are you saying
you're going to kiss Santa Claus again
and everything will start all over?
[playfully] No.
No.
I'm saying I'm not scared anymore.
Even that stuff about a ring,
I should've realised
that wasn't the surprise.
Because you're not like that.
I'm not a ring kind of guy, no?
You're unconventional.
Your Christmas surprises
are special, and different.
I like that you see me that way.
Yes, you know, it all started last year,
with Santa and the cue cards, so
[quirky music playing]
What do you mean, cue cards?
You know, the Love Actually cue cards.
Last year's surprise.
I'm sorry, but I I don't know
what you're talking about.
That wasn't me.
Is that a real problem?
No, no, it's fine. No.
[zany, upbeat music playing]
[zany music continuing]
[swaggering electro-pop music playing]