iCarly s02e05 Episode Script

Good morning.
When did you get here? I spent the night.
But I remember you leaving before I went to bed.
You said, "good night.
I'm going home," and then you left.
Yeah, but then on my way out, I tripped and fell down the stairs.
Oh my God.
Were you hurt? Nah.
I just didn't feel like getting up so I slept on the floor.
I can borrow a clean shirt? Sure.
And some pants? I guess.
Underwear? Absolutely not.
Hi.
Could I come in? I'm already in so say, "yes.
" Sure.
What's up, Fredward? Can I ask you a question? Of course.
Do you guys think I'm funny? Ah, yeah.
You're funny.
Why do you care if you're funny? I mean, I'm not saying you're not funny.
Yes, you are.
I know, but why do you care? Well, okay.
My mom's cousin is going to some comic book festival in new Jersey so she left her baby with us.
Oh, right.
Baby Stephanie.
Yeah.
She hates me.
She's six months old.
I know.
And every time she sees anyone, she just giggles and laughs.
But you know what she does when she looks at me? I know what I want to do when I look at you.
What does she do when she looks at you? Nothing.
No-thing.
She just lies there with a bored blank expression.
Like Sam in math class? Exactly.
I can't make that baby laugh no matter what I do.
What's wrong with me? Don't.
Hey.
You guys wanna go grab some breakfast? Oh, yes.
Yes.
Where are we going? Galini's pie shop.
Pie for breakfast? No, no.
Don't say, "pie for breakfast?" Say, "pie for breakfast?!" Okay.
But only because it's Galini's.
What's so great about Galini's pie? You've never had Galini's pie? What? Isn't one pie as good as any other pie? No.
What? Are you insane? All right.
We gotta get this kid a mouthful of Galini magic so he'll understand.
Immediately.
Yeah-- you.
Wait, you're wearing pajamas.
It's a pie shop, not church.
Come on.
In five, four, three, two.
I know, you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel so wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one and it's time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give your best and leave the rest to me leave it all to me (leave it all to me) leave it all to me just leave it all to me What? We wanna watch your face when you take your first bite of Galini pie.
We should get this on video.
Yes.
Let's capture the moment.
You guys are insane.
Oh my God.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
See, we told you.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Oh.
Why can't I marry this pie? All I want out of life is to be "Mrs.
Sam this pie.
" I wanna stick my whole face in a Galini pie and go-- I got to get some to take home.
Yo, Mario.
Hey, Spencer.
What can I get you, huh? I gotta have a couple of coconut cream pies to go.
I got to see if we have enough.
What? You always have enough.
Why would you say you might not have enough? Now I'm scared.
What? Well, you see, Mr.
Galini is in the hospital.
Huh? What happened? No.
He's gonna be okay, right? I'm not so sure.
I mean, you got to remember, Mr.
Galini is 97 years old, you know.
He doesn't look so good.
No.
That's so sad.
Ummm- can I get another piece of pie? Hey.
Sure, sure.
And who knows? Mr.
Galini is very old but he has a heart like a bull, huh? Heart like a bull.
That's what they said about Sam's great grandfather.
But then he died.
A heart attack? No, wrestling a bull.
Stupid baby.
Hey, easy there, slammy.
What's wrong? I still can't get that baby to laugh.
I want a pie.
No, no, no, no, no.
No pie.
Why? We're trying to make it last until Mr.
Galini is out of the hospital.
Well-- Mmm.
Well, then, how come Sam gets some? Sam doesn't get any-- Put that down.
Oh, no.
Put that down.
Put that down.
You put that pie down.
Put it down.
Wait, wait, wait.
Put it down.
Put it down.
I want a pie.
Give me the pie.
Give me the pie.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Give me-- give me that pie.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Put it down.
Sam, give me the pie.
Stop.
Don't-- come on, Sam.
Don't talk like that.
Just give me the pie.
I don't--the pie.
Give me the pie.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down.
Whoa.
Calm down.
What's going on? Sam's got the pie.
Oh.
No.
Out of my way-- she locked herself in the bathroom.
Well, that's it.
She's gonna sit down in there and finish it.
Ah, it's okay.
I called the hospital.
They said Mr.
Galini checked out yesterday.
I decided to share this with you, guys.
You already finished it.
Yeah.
I decided too late.
It's okay.
Mr.
Galini checked out of the hospital.
So we can get more pies.
Awesome.
Now, I can lick this and not feel guilty.
Hey, Ms.
Benson.
Oh, look.
A little baby person.
Freddie, I'm taking baby Stephanie out for a walk in the fresh air.
Oh, I don't care what you do with her.
Oh, look at her.
She's so small like a little meatloaf.
Hi, baby.
What's up little Stephanie? Oh look, we made her laugh.
Yeah.
She thinks everybody is hilarious but me.
Here, let's test it.
First, me and Carly will get her laughing.
And now-- Oh, the baby does hate you.
Hello.
Oh, hey.
Ciao.
Bienvenuti so, what can I get you all for today? We want four slices of the coconut cream pie.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
We got no pie.
We got water and cherries.
What do you want? Wait.
What do you mean you got no pie? The hospital said Mr.
Galini checked out yesterday.
Yeah.
He checked out-- --Forever.
He passed away? Uh-hmm.
We're so sorry.
Me too.
You know, he was a very good man.
But to live 97 years, eh? Not too bad.
You know, I'll never forget the time-- who's gonna make the pies now? Nobody.
The shop is gonna close.
But why don't you make the pies? I don't know the recipe.
It's a family secret.
The only one who knows it is Galini's granddaughter Trudy.
All right.
I wanna talk to this Trudy chick.
Where is she? That's her.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Go over there and use some of your Spencer charm to get her to keep this place open.
Why don't you go? Just go.
Go.
Do it.
Come on.
Come on, Spencer.
Come on.
Go.
Fine.
I'll do it for the pie.
Hello, Trudy.
My name is Spencer shay.
I come here a lot.
Yeah.
I recognize you.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandfather.
Oh, thank you.
I used to rub his feet with mayonnaise.
Okay.
Listen, your grandfather was-- he was like a true genius.
I mean, his pies, it would be so tragic if his pies died with him, don't you think? Yeah.
His pies were tasty.
Oh, yeah.
So, maybe you'd consider carrying on his tradition.
Oh.
I don't think so.
I wanna be an actress, like in movies and junk.
Well, um, then would you consider-- consider what? Maybe sharing the recipe with me? I don't know.
I'd pay you for it.
I'd rather go on a date with you.
I'd pay you for it.
You can invite me over to your place, make me some dinner.
I can go to an ATM right now.
Money's not an object.
I've never had spaghetti tacos before.
Yeah.
It's something I make a lot.
Carly and her friends love 'em.
Well, so does this woman.
Hey, I got an idea.
Do you? Uh-huh.
Why don't we swap recipes? I'll give you mine for spaghetti tacos, you give me your grandfather's for coconut cream pie.
Whoa, now, slow your roll there, big boy.
What do you say we move this party to the couch? Couch is broken.
Well, why don't we go break it some more? No.
No.
And her mom keeps telling me over and over, "don't squeeze it.
" But how can I not squeeze it, you know what I mean? No.
Well, think of it like a plastic bag just filled with pudding and you know-- oh, wait.
Trudy's probably still in there with Spencer.
Oh, good.
Let's go in and see if he got the pie recipe.
No.
What if he's just about to get it? We don't wanna go in and risk-- I thought I heard you guys out here.
Freddie? Is that you in there? Yeah, it's me.
Oh my gosh, the bear ate Freddie.
Bad bear.
Never do that again.
You're not the boss of me.
Why are you in a bear suit? I thought I could make baby Stephanie laugh if I wore this.
And did it work? No.
Look.
What is this on your chest? Baby vomit.
Oh-- 'Kay.
Spencer? What's going on in there.
I don't know.
Come on.
Hurry.
I'm trying.
Spencer.
Oh, you're just a boy.
I can't believe you were making out with her.
Did you get the recipe? No, I didn't get the recipe and I wasn't making out with her.
She just grabbed me and started kissing me.
Don't act like you didn't love it.
Look, he invited you over and fed you dinner, so just give him the pie recipe, would you? Okay, I have a confession.
I don't have my grandfather's pie recipe.
He never gave it to anyone.
And he never wrote it down anywhere? Well, he said he put it in his computer, but I can never find it.
Anyway, I'm sorry I deceived you.
Goodbye.
Look, I'm just sorry that your grandfather-- that is good stuff.
Okay, Spencer.
I think you've scrubbed all of the Trudy off your mouth.
I hope so.
Well, at least one good thing came of my dinner date tonight.
What? Mr.
Galini's very last piece of coconut cream pie.
How'd you get this? Trudy brought it for me.
And you're sure this is the last piece in existence? A hundred percent.
The shop closed yesterday, Trudy had the last pie, and this is the last piece.
Okay, who gets to go first? Well, to be most fair-- remember when that piece of pie was still there? Yeah.
UN-huh.
Okay, wait.
Maybe we haven't tasted the last insanely amazing piece of coconut cream pie in the world.
Okay.
Before we go, we have an urgent message from all of us here at "iCarly".
It's about pie.
Pie.
We have a pie issue.
And we need your help.
We're looking for the best-- and we mean the best.
--Coconut cream pie recipe in the world.
So we're appealing to you-- the fans of "iCarly"-- --to send us your best recipe for coconut cream pie.
Ask you parents-- your grandparents-- --your aunt-- --your uncle-- --your aunt's uncle-- --your uncle's aunt-- --your neighborhood hobos-- --hobos from other neighborhoods.
--Anyone who might have a great recipe for coconut cream pie.
Get it.
Just get it.
And send it to us right here at iCarly.
com.
Please, think of the children.
And we are clear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mom, what are you doing here? I've been trying to put Stephanie to bed for three hours, but she won't stop giggling.
Would you mind showing her your face? Sure.
Hi.
I can't eat another pie.
I'll explode.
You'll have to hose me off the walls.
How many pies have we tasted so far? Forty-two.
None of 'em are as good as Galini's.
Guys, I just got off the phone.
Whoa, you guys made all the pies? And tasted everyone.
No way.
Which one is the best? Number 22.
Twenty-two.
But it's not as good as Galini's.
Not even close.
Nope.
You dare call yourself a pie? There's no reason to make the pie feel bad about itself.
Yes, there is.
Anyway, I just got off the phone with Trudy, and she invited us to a memorial service for Mr.
Galini down at his pie shop tomorrow night.
I don't wanna go.
Me either.
I'm too full to ever go anywhere ever again.
We're all going to the service, and you wanna know why? I don't know.
'Cause remember, Trudy said Mr.
Galini kept his pie recipe in his computer.
Yeah, but she said she can never find it.
True, but I bet we know someone who could.
Yeah.
If Galini put that recipe in his computer, I'll bet I could find it.
Yes.
We're going.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Doesn't it make us kind of skeevy to go to a man's memorial service just so we can steal his pie recipe? No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
See, if we find his recipe, then we can share it with the whole world.
And that way, Mr.
Galini's genius will live on forever.
And I got to have that pie recipe.
We're going.
And Mr.
Galini looks at me, and he says to me, "Mario," he says, "before you get married, "there's something I got to say to you.
" Where's the computer? In the back.
And he say to me, "Mario," he says, "your pants, the zipper's down.
"You don't wanna get married like that.
" Now, would anyone else like to say some words? Go up there and say something.
Why? Because it will give us a chance to sneak into the backroom and find the computer.
Go speak.
I don't what to say-- this man has a lot to say about Mr.
Galini.
Oh, I don't.
Oh, Spencer.
Really, I-- please.
Please.
Oh, that's so nice.
Thank you.
Friends, family, lovers of pie, what does it mean to lose someone you're close to? It means you've lost someone that you're close to.
I once lost my goldfish.
His name was Swimmy.
I also lost Brock-- another goldfish.
Go with Freddie.
I'll guard the door.
Okay.
Then there was Reggie, a goldfish I used to have before I lost him.
Whoa.
Oh, man.
Look at this dinosaur.
Can you figure it out? Maybe, but it's so old.
My phone has a faster processor than this thing.
Okay.
Save the nerd talk for your a-v club buddies and just find the pie recipe.
I will, but it could take some time.
I'll go tell Carly.
What I've learned is that if you have-- tell Spencer he still-- --goldfish, feed them.
And if you take them for a walk, leave them in the bowl.
Mr.
Galini will be missed.
So that's really all I have to say about-- oh! Mr.
Galini was such a special man-- for all of us, so cherished-- yeah, my little sister, Carly, would like to say a few words.
Carly.
Be strong.
Thank you, Spencer, for that wonderful story about your many dead goldfish.
I've never really spoken in a memorial service before, so let's all just sing.
Yeah.
Here's a fun song to sing when people die.
Just jump in if you know it.
Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved-- will you hurry? Carly's making sad people sing.
I'm going as fast as I can.
Not fast enough.
Sam.
Just move, let me do it.
No.
You don't know this operation.
No, just move and I'll-- Sam, Sam, knock it off.
Oh, I'll do it.
What are you doing? Give me that-- ow.
Hey.
Let go of my hair.
Nice.
What happened? Freddy went berserk and pushed the computer off the table.
What? I did not.
He did.
I was just sitting down at the computer-- okay.
And you said, "hey, you need to go faster"-- I was sitting right there.
--And I said, "I'm trying to go as fast as I can.
" I wasn't doing your thing wrong-- and you wanna get-- guys, guys, guys, look what I just found in Mr.
Galini's computer? The pie recipes.
Now way.
Mamma Mia.
I guess when Mr.
Galini said he put the recipes in his computer, he really meant "in his computer.
" That crazy old fudgebag.
Oh, look.
Here's his recipe for coconut cream pie.
Pucker up, Spencer.
No.
She said she' gonna give up her dream to become an actress and run the shop with Mario.
Did Mario say how long? It'll be two more pies already? Yup.
We can go back any time after three tomorrow.
Oh, great.
Wake me at a quarter to pie.
Hi.
I brought Stephanie over to say goodbye.
Every time.
I can't believe I never made this baby laugh once.
Wait.
You got any of those pies left that we made yesterday? Yeah.
They're, like, six of 'em in the fridge.
Why? You wanna know why? Hey, Stephanie.
Watch this.