K.C. Undercover (2015) s02e05 Episode Script

Previously I didn't get to properly introduce myself before.
I'm KC Cooper, and I'm your cousin.
I'm actually looking at my mother's face.
- Abby, she's alive.
- What? She's alive, and I know where she is.
Hello, Abby.
I'd know my baby anywhere.
Actually I'm KC.
That's Abby.
Hello.
We did good, Mom.
You did good.
So what are you really doing here? - Carrying out my mission.
- Which is? Win KC's trust so she can convince Kira to bring me to you.
All right, everyone, Cooper family meeting.
We need to discuss our little problem.
If you ask me, our problem is all these Cooper family meetings.
Look, it's not the meetings that's a problem for me.
It's the lack of snacks.
Would it really kill somebody to put out a crudité? I'm talking about how you two told Abby we're spies.
Honey, we had no choice.
Sweetheart, we are secret agents, not blab-it-to-anyone- who'll-listen agents.
There's only one thing we can do.
All right, I'll eliminate Abby.
I meant memory spray.
I guess that's another way to go.
Softies.
Dad, no.
The whole point of sneaking Abby to Anguilla was for her to meet her mother.
If we're looking to get rid of memories, I vote for the time that Ernie got out of the pool but his bathing suit didn't.
I know I'm still trying to forget about it.
Craig, look, it's fine.
I mean, no one else knows that Erica's alive.
She's still hiding out in Anguilla.
I don't know if we can trust that.
- But she's family.
- But she's so pretty.
Family.
I meant family.
Craig, the Organization check and everything Abby told us was true.
No.
We can't take the chance.
I've made a decision.
We're memory spraying her.
Hi! I brought cookies.
Because I wasn't sure what a thank you for reuniting me with my supposed-to-be-dead mom gift is.
Plus, I had cookie mix.
We're happy we could help.
Right, Dad? Meeting my mom was the greatest moment of my life.
- One I'll never forget.
- Hear that, Dad? She'll never forget.
And I owe it all to my new family.
Family.
Abby, look at me.
I'm sorry, but You're not gonna say anything about what we do for a living, are you? I don't know what you're talking about.
Softies.
See, you guys, look.
No one will ever know.
Come on, give me those cookies.
All right, we need some plates, glasses.
So Erica King is alive and in Anguilla.
Send in a field team.
It's time we finally brought that evil woman in.
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
Hey.
What are you guys doing out here? We need to talk.
Is this an intervention about my hands-free purse We have been through this 100 times.
It is not a hands-free purse.
It is a fanny pack.
Say it with me.
If your purse has Velcro, it is not in style.
Thank you.
But that's not what this is about.
We heard you have a date with Darien.
Yeah, you heard that from me, because I told you.
And it's your fourth date.
Yeah, so? KC, KC, KC.
Everybody knows what the fourth date means.
That we liked the first three so much, we decided to do it again? KC, let me ask you something.
You like Darien, right? Yes, I do.
I really, really do.
Great.
So let's say, at the end of the date, he leans in close, stares longingly into your eyes with his lips so close, you could feel his warm breath against your face.
What do you do? Hope he didn't eat garlic? Wrong.
You kiss him.
Unless you're not ready.
Or he ate garlic.
And even if he did, you power through.
I think what Marisa is trying to say - is things seem to be progressing - So you should kiss him.
- Only if you want to.
- If you're not ready You should let him kiss you right on the lips.
Go for it! Kiss, kiss! Get a hold of yourself, okay? I'll do what I want when I want, and not until I am ready.
Right.
I'm sorry.
So you think you're gonna kiss him? Hey, Ernie, you remember Colin Cleveland? Your friend, the politician's son? The one who thinks I'm the greatest thing since anti-microbial shower shoes? I don't know why you insist on bring up your funky, funky feet, but yes.
Yes.
He and his dad are on their way over.
You think you can entertain him while his dad and I catch up? I can spare some time for a fan.
Hold up.
Just to be clear, this boy admires you? This is an actual, real-life kid and not a figment of your imagination? No! Not this time.
Ah! Kappa Kappa Delta forever! Remember that time we almost joined that fraternity? Oh, Jackson, it's good to see you, man.
Ernie, Judy! Hey.
Whoa! Did you hit a growth spurt? You're like a giant.
A giant what? Pain in the butt? Nope.
Same height.
Just wearing some new orthotics.
And you wear them well! Come on upstairs and I'll show you how to power a light bulb with a potato.
So how are you doing, Mr.
Vice President? Please.
I haven't won yet.
The election isn't for another week.
And even if we are ahead by an impossible-to-beat 12 points, don't jinx it.
Who am I kidding? I'm gonna be the vice-president of the United States! Seriously, I have a favor to ask of you, Coop.
I'm hoping you'll head up my security team.
I could use someone I really trust.
Wow, Jackson, I'm flattered.
My commitment is to the Organization.
I'm not asking for anything long-term.
Just get me through the election.
Can I think about it? Why not? Would I get a pair of those cool Secret Service sunglasses? - Why not? - Can I fly Air Force One? Don't push it, Craig.
I don't mean to brag, but with this puppy, I can talk to people as far away as Indonesia.
So can I.
Ever heard of a cell phone? This is cooler.
And you don't have to worry about going over your data plan.
Plus, I built it myself, with a few capacitors, a diode, and about ten feet of electrical wire.
Whoa! I am freaking out.
You wanna see some electrical wires? No one needs your help, Judy.
I had a great time, even if you did beat me at Skee Ball.
Beat you? Excuse me, I pummeled you.
I guess you just can't handle how I roll.
Hey, in my defense, I was distracted by a beautiful girl.
Thank you.
Good night.
All right.
See you tomorrow.
Well, I kissed him.
Yay! Where did it happen? At the movies, at the restaurant? On the porch? - On his eyeball.
- What? I kissed him on his eyeball.
Ay yi eyeball.
Marisa, I am such an idiot.
What if he doesn't like me anymore? KC, would you just relax? Darien likes you.
He isn't going anywhere.
Quick, call an ambulance.
A car just came out of nowhere and hit Darien.
I don't know if you can hear me, but I really need you to get better.
I really, really like you.
I mean, my life can be kind of stressful sometimes.
More like all the time.
But when I'm with you, I forget about all of that, you know? You just let me be me.
You know, just regular, boring KC.
I have no idea why you like me so much, but I'm really glad that you do.
Yes, I really, really want you to be my boyfriend.
Oh, I kissed you out of a coma! Actually, you kissed me out of a nap.
Oh.
Okay, um So you gonna be all right? Yeah.
I just have a broken arm and a slight concussion.
They're gonna keep me another day or so for observation.
Okay.
That's great.
I'd hug you, but you couldn't really hug me back.
'Cause the arm, so high five! So? What's exactly the plan here? We gonna pretend like you didn't just say you wanted me to be your boyfriend? Okay, did I say that, or did you dream that? No, I think you said it.
No, I think you imagined it, because of the drugs they gave you.
You mean the antibiotics? Yes.
Of course.
Antibiotic hallucinations.
It's 100% medically accurate, despite what your doctor will tell you after I leave.
Oh, okay.
You should probably know.
I wanna be your boyfriend.
Really? Really.
Are you sure that's not just the antibiotics talking? I'm really glad you're okay.
Me, too.
All right, Colin, remember the water we dyed red yesterday? I wish I died yesterday.
Well, a stalk of celery has been sitting in it overnight.
Take a look at this.
Voila.
A sorcerer.
You're a sorcerer! Actually, it's due to capillary action.
Which is the only action Ernie will ever see.
Just because you mumble doesn't mean I can't hear you, Judy.
You actually like this stuff? - Like it? I love it! - Yeah! You don't have cable TV, do you? You should get it.
All that manpower, and the search turned up absolutely nothing.
If Erica King isn't in Anguilla, where the heck is she? Hey, what's up, Abby? Thank you so much for stopping by and checking on Darien, but good news, he is gonna be perfectly fine.
Well, this time he is.
What you talking about? His accident.
It wasn't an accident.
I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense.
Who would intentionally hurt Darien? I would.
Oh.
You work for the Other Side, don't you? Yeah.
Oh, okay, so you've just been playing me this whole time.
Well, look at that.
You're not just book smart.
You can also point out the obvious.
Huh.
I don't know why you bothered bringing a laser gun.
When you already stabbed me in the back.
Are you done? I forgot one more thing.
I defended you to my parents.
I trusted you.
I listened to your kissing advice.
Did you, 'cause I never said anything about making out with his eyeball.
Get your butt back here.
No one runs my boyfriend over with a car and makes me spill his overpriced commissary snacks and gets away with it.
Hello, KC.
Hope you don't mind me dropping in.
Let your Auntie Erica give you a hug.
Erica.
So you're back from Anguilla.
She really does state the obvious.
Now unless you wanna end up in a hospital bed or worse, you'd better listen to what your auntie has to say.
Isn't this lovely? So happy to see you, sis.
Surprised to get your text.
Usually you need a Ouija board to communicate with the devil.
You look nice, KC.
Oh, thanks, traitor.
All right, Erica, cut to the chase.
What do you want from us? You and your daughter are going to carry out a very special mission for the Other Side.
And if we refuse? Darien will end up having another accident.
And don't say a word about this, or we'll move on to getting rid of your family.
Ooh, I vote we start with her.
Very funny, KC.
But the Organization won't be laughing when they find out your mother's been protecting me all these years.
Do I make myself clear? Crystal.
We'll provide further instructions when we're ready.
Now, ladies, let's enjoy our tea.
Would anyone like some clotted cream for their scone? Oh, I would, thank you.
Oops.
Oh, I'm so clumsy.
Don't wanna waste it.
Get ready, Colin, 'cause this volcano's about to blow.
Here we go.
It's going in.
All right.
Okay.
Oh, awesome! Biggest explosion ever.
Guess you never heard Ernie after a four-cheese pizza.
I'll bet you're wondering how I'm gonna top this volcano.
Rock collection.
What a dork.
What?! I thought you looked up to him.
I did, when I was five, and my best friend was a blanket.
Then why have you been kissing his butt all week? My dad said I had to be on my best behavior but how much longer can I pretend he's interesting? He's a total doofus, and he doesn't even know it.
Rock collection.
Hey, nobody thinks Ernie's a bigger doofus than I do, but at least he's smart and funny and he's honest.
He doesn't pretend to be something he's not, which makes him way cooler than you'll ever be.
Why did they have to drag Darien into this? All he did was like me.
I finally have a boyfriend, and now Erica and Abby want to hurt him.
I'm so sorry, honey.
But you remember when you decided to be a spy and I said it wasn't gonna be easy? Decided? No, I distinctly remember you fake kidnapping me and then begging me to be part of the family business.
True, but I distinctly remember saying it wasn't gonna be easy.
Mom, I really, really like Darien.
What am I supposed to do, just no like anyone ever? No, baby.
But any time you get involved with a civilian, they're always gonna be vulnerable.
So I should only date spies.
Well, I was lucky enough to fall in love with one.
But I mean, it's not like I never dated a civilian.
I remember this one guy, Olympic athlete Andre Vervavitch.
Things were going great until he fell head over heels.
Wait, isn't that a good thing when you're dating someone? No, I mean the Other Side pushed Andre off a building and he fell head over heels.
Over head, over heels.
This is just not fair.
I know.
But that's the way it is.
So what do we do now? Well, we have to wait for Erica, 'cause unfortunately, she's holding all the cards.
Okay, so now we know Erica's back.
We're not gonna make a move.
I think, if we play our cards right, she might finally lead us to the head of the Other Side.
Imagine, after all this time, finally discovering who he really is.
Hey, Ernie, how'd your procedure go? What procedure? The one where they removed Colin's lips from your butt.
He's with his mom.
And you can bag on me all you want, - but I know you love me.
- Yuck! Why would you say that? Because I heard all the nice things you said about me to Colin.
- You're dreaming.
- Am I? Am I really? He doesn't pretend to be something he's not, which makes him way cooler than you'll ever be.
Way cooler than you'll ever be.
Way cooler than you'll ever be.
Fine, I said it! And? And I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
Well, Jackson, I thought it over, and if you still want me, I'd be happy to head up your security team through the election.
In fact, it would be an honor, Mr.
Vice-President.
No jinxies.
Yeah, right.
You are definitely mature enough to be a heartbeat away from the president.
Thank you, Craig.
All kidding aside, I'll feel a lot safer, with you in my corner.
Don't worry, I got your back.
You never know what kind of crazies there are out there.
So what exactly is the plan for KC and Kira, mommy dearest? Stop calling me that.
Fifteen years ago, when your father became the head of the Other Side, he and I had a little disagreement.
I wanted her dead.
And silly me, I wanted to stay alive.
So we compromised.
She disappeared.
You mean you banished me.
And separated me from my only child.
And she was better off without the likes of you.
Aw, Mom, Dad.
Just think of all the Christmases we could've spent together as one big, unhappy family.
Anyway, he finally sent for me, because he needed his top programmer.
Programmer? You can't even use your cell phone.
Not that kind of programmer, smart mouth.
- She gets it from you, you know.
- Take that back.
I'd like to take back the ten years I wasted with you.
Was it only ten? 'Cause it felt like 110.
I will crash this car right now.
Do it, do it! I dare you! Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Um sorry to interrupt this love fest, but you were saying something about being a programmer.
A mind control programmer.
My mission was to identify up-and-coming individuals who might one day wield power.
Then I brainwash them, so that when the time came, I'd activate them.
And your mother's grating voice is one half of the trigger.
You're wearing the other half.
The locket Aunt Kira gave me.
I knew she'd keep it safe.
She was always such a sentimental sap.
Softie.
With this, my voice will control the mind of Senator Jackson Cleveland, who's about to become vice-president.
Which puts him one step away from becoming the president.
When that happens, the Other side will control the White House.
Hi, KC.
Guess what.
I get out tomorrow.
Doctor said in a couple of days, I'll be ready for that Skee Ball rematch.
Uh, Darien, I'm not into you.
What are you talking about? I like you, you like me.
Things are going great.
No, they're not.
Not for me.
Oh.
I get it.
It's the boyfriend-girlfriend thing.
We can slow it down.
Darien, you're not listening, okay? I don't like you.
I'm breaking up with you.
No.
No, this makes no sense.
This isn't right.
Something else must be going on.
KC, talk to me.
Take care, Darien.
I know, baby.
I know.
But at least now, he'll be safe, okay? Rob, your name's on TV.