Kidding (2018) s02e05 Episode Script

1 [MAESTRO FERMATA.]
Previously on Kidding The state considers these creatures a communal asset.
You can't have them! [LAWYER.]
Scott Perera will now take sole custody of the following puppets: Ennui Le Triste, Snagglehorse, Thump-Thump, Astronotter, - The Oops.
- Oops.
[TRANQUIL FANFARE.]
- - [GENTLE MUSIC.]
There's a teeny-tiny thought at the bottom of your mind If you follow it, you're brought To a place you're meant to find Where the greatest dreamers go When the greatest dreamers grow Pickle Barrel Falls, quiet, sweet, safe and sound Pickle Barrel Falls Magic's there, all around Pickle Barrel Falls You'll dive and plunge, and then, sure You'll find yourself adventure In Pickle Barrel Falls When you dream, what you see Your dreams matter so much to me And if our friends should query us We'll tell them this is serious [WHIMSICAL MUSICAL FLOURISH.]
The way we plumb our playtime plumbing Shapes the people we're becoming So dream beyond your walls All the way to Pickle Barrel Falls You know what these are, don't you? Balloons! I love balloons! They float up so high in the sky, and when you see one of these colorful beauties, you just know it's time for a celebration.
But the wonderful and terrible thing about balloons is they don't last.
They deflate.
They run out of air, and sometimes Balloons are a rainbow reminder that nothing is permanent.
Parties end.
Things that rise also fall.
These balloons today are a special gift for a special friend, because I have invited my wife, Nurse Jill, to celebrate a change.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
A terrible and wonderful change.
I'm a little worried, though.
It's about ten minutes late, and she's not here yet.
Wondering if she's gonna show up.
[LOUD CRASH.]
Wow! What was that? [LOUD CRASHING.]
Whoa.
Seems like it's coming from down in Pickle Barrel Falls.
We'd better check it out.
See you at the bottom.
[WHIMSICAL PIANO MUSIC.]
Oh, my.
[FRANTIC MUSIC.]
What happened here? And here? - [CRYING.]
- And here? Help! Help! Snagglehorse! What happened? I reckon I don't know.
Hang on! [GROANS AND STRAINS.]
Well, first the Snagglewalls caved in, then the Snaggleceiling collapsed, and the whole Snagglebarn came unsnaggled.
- [LOUD CRASH.]
- [QUAVERS.]
- Oh, my.
This is serious! - [GROANING.]
Oh, no! [ASTRONOTTER GIBBERING.]
I'm sorry, Astronotter.
I don't know what's causing your houses to fall apart.
[ENNUI.]
I know who the culprit is.
We all do! It wasn't me! My home is gone too! The whole Oopsie Daisy Patch is just a pile of petals.
[GIBBERS.]
Well, "doomed" may be taking it a little too far, Astronotter.
We just need to find Do-It-Yourself Deirdre.
She can fix this right up.
Chef, release the Emergency Chicken! Chicken away! [SQUAWKS.]
Ah! [SQUEAKING NOISE.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
Never fear.
D.
I.
Y.
Deirdre's here.
Do-It-Yourself Deirdre, Pickle Barrel Falls is falling apart.
I see.
I think I know what's happening here.
Looks like there's been an Ungluing.
- [ALL GASP.]
- Can you fix my Snagglebarn? Of course I can.
I can fix every home in Pickle Barrel Falls.
[ALL CHEER.]
Yay! But I'm gonna need some help.
[PUPPETS CHEERFULLY CHATTERING.]
[MAESTRO FERMATA.]
Pick-a me! Pick-a me! Maybe we should wait for Jill.
She's a great help.
I really don't think Jill is coming.
You don't know that.
Our friends need homes, Mr.
Pickles.
[ALL MURMUR.]
Mm-hmm.
Do you ever feel your life was topsy-turvying? - Sure.
- And swoopy-swervying? Mm, yeah.
From stem to stern? Boy, howdy, do I.
Did you ever wonder "How am I gonna fix it all?" 'Cause nothing sticks at all Well, watch and learn When your mane is mainly queasy And your hooves have lost their click What seems difficult comes easy When you stick - Together.
- Stick together? [ALL.]
Stick together? You mean unite in a common a-goal - using a-teamwork? - [DEIRDRE AND JEFF.]
That's right! Stick together [ALL.]
Stick together Stick together Here we go One minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no.
I am sorry, but this is preposterous! We cannot put together the whole town with good vibes and excitable intentions! It's not preposterous.
If you can see Piccola Grande, the Pickle Fairy of Hope.
What the heck? Piccola Grande, the Pickle Fairy of Hope.
[ALL MURMURING.]
The more hope you have, the bigger she is.
You can't see her? No, I cannot see the Pickle Fairy, of hope or otherwise.
Ennui, just try to believe, and then, look again.
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC.]
Ennui, mon ami, I know the problem looks colossal, but if you can see me, how bad can things be? [ENERGETIC MUSIC.]
What do you do When the barrel that carries you Suddenly harries you? - [BOTH.]
Stick together - What do you do When the bolts and the wood parts Turn into no-good parts? - You - Stick together Staves may sag and droop and drag And rivets wear and tear some But we can still repair some - With a me-and-a-you-in' - And a little bit of gluin' [PUPPETS CHEER.]
[GIBBERS.]
Now you try.
My, oh, my! What should you do When you're circling the drain? You should sing this refrain [CLEARS THROAT.]
Stick together Easy-peasy bottle squeezy Thingy dingy brushy flingy - Our poor square.
- There, there.
- Where? - There.
What should you do When your fav'rite town square's Needing repairs Sing together Easy-peasy bottle squeezy Thingy dingy brushy flingy Spiffy riffy fix in a jiffy Ooh [PICCOLA VOCALIZING.]
Ooh Ooh [ALL CHEERING.]
Make mistakes for heaven sakes - We all commit faux pas, friends - Ow! Let's fix that severed schnoz, friends - [JEFF.]
With a me-and-a-you-in' - [DEIRDRE.]
And a little bit of gluin' And a whole lot of doin' [ALL.]
We can right this ruin Easy-peasy bottle squeezy Easy-peasy bottle squeezy Thingy-dingy brushy flingy Thingy-dingy brushy flingy [ALL SINGING.]
Thingy-dingy brushy flingy Ooh [ALL.]
Yeah! What do you do When alone is a lot - Of no fun - It isn't fun You wanna hide, you wanna run Just stick to gluin' Two by two instead Of one Stick together, done, all done [ALL CHEERING.]
[RUMBLING SOUND.]
[BOTH.]
Watch out! [GASPS.]
[NEIGHS PLAINTIVELY.]
Oh, no! What happened? Where's Piccola Grande? [BOTH.]
The Fairy of Hope has disappeared! I can fix this, I promise.
Check your glue! [DARK PIANO CHORD.]
It d-it-it doesn't seem to be sticky anymore.
Don't fret! We can just rebuild with some new glue! There is no other glue.
There's only the glue I started with.
[BOTH.]
What do we do now? I'm afraid the safest solution is to find a new home someplace else.
Someplace else? - What do you mean? - [DEIRDRE.]
I'm afraid if you lost your home, you'll have to leave Pickle Barrel Falls.
[PUPPETS MURMURING ANXIOUSLY.]
But that's half of everybody here! I just thank the good lord bread I did not suffer these problems.
My home stands proud thanks to French ingenuity.
[LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
[CRASHING NOISE.]
Mon Dieu ! The Trifle Tower! She has fallen! Ennui! [DEIRDRE.]
Oh, I'm so sorry.
What will become of moi? I'm afraid you'll have to find a new home too.
But why? What did I do? What did I do? No, no, no! Ennui, wait! It's not your fault! [ENNUI CRYING.]
He's right.
It's my fault! Always chunking things up when I should be smoothing them over.
I'm too nutty! I'm too dang nutty! I probably could've done more to preserve things.
- Jelly, no! - [OOPS.]
I've made mistakes.
All I do is make mistakes! It's nobody's fault.
Sometimes things happen in life that are beyond our control, and the harder we try to hold things together, the more they fall apart.
[BOTH.]
What do you mean? Come with me.
[PIANO MUSIC.]
Come in, come in.
Come on.
Sit down, please.
Let me try and explain.
Brick cracks Paint chips Rope slacks Tile slips The horse that you drove the cart with May break down Knots slide Beams split Seams divide What once fit The person you felt so smart with May leave town The force gets too great The wind blows too cold The day grows too late The glue doesn't hold The fault is with fate Adhered to the hold Of some other plan We made when we began Hearts doubt Eyes drift Truths out Lives shift And someone you once made art with May seem small There's only the glue you start with After all D.
I.
Y.
Deirdre's right.
The Ungluing isn't our fault.
I'm glad you understand.
It's her fault! - What? - Yeah! Her and her impotent adhesive! - [PUPPETS JEER.]
- That's not the point.
Oops blames you! [CROWD ASSENTS ANGRILY.]
Do not a-worry.
We shall calm this angry mob with a soothing melody.
Ah! Get her! Get her! Get her! Oh, dear! [PUPPETS SHOUTING ANGRILY.]
[CRIES.]
My beautiful home! The greatest thing since sliced bread has been reduced to a pile of stale crumbs! [CRYING.]
[WATER RUSHING.]
Ennui! Zut alors ! He's come to take me from my home! No, no! [CRYING.]
Ennui? Ennui? Where are you? Ennui? I am not Ennui.
I am a tree.
Ennui Le Tree.
[CRIES.]
I've never seen a crying tree.
I'm not crying.
I'm watering myself.
Ennui, why are you pretending to be a tree? Because trees don't have to leave.
They can stay in Pickle Barrel Falls forever.
They are rooted in the ground, and they never change.
Actually, trees change all the time.
[BICKERING BEAVER.]
Let's use this tree! No, this tree! No, this one! [GROWLS.]
[GNAWING RAPIDLY.]
[BOTH.]
Timber! Whoa! Sacrebleu ! Let's follow that tree, - see how it changes.
- Oui.
[BICKERING BEAVER.]
Hold it this way! No, no, no.
Hold it this way! No, no, no.
This way! [BICKERING BEAVER.]
No, this way! - - [BEAVERS HUMMING.]
You see, Ennui? Trees can become many different things.
Like furniture [LAUGHS.]
- [BREATHLESSLY.]
Giant chopsticks.
- [LAUGHS.]
Giant chopsticks.
Oh.
Ooh.
Small pianos.
[SIGHS.]
You see? Nothing is permanent, not even trees.
Everything changes.
But I am afraid of this buzz saw of change.
Me too.
Do trees make paper too? Oh, yes.
All kinds of paper comes from trees, and these papers are a special kind of papers.
What do you mean, special? [SIGHS.]
How do I explain? [EXHALES.]
Change is a lot of things Strange Oh, the fear it brings Chan This is Nurse Jill.
I wasn't sure I was going to come, but I think it's important to show everyone there [JEFF.]
[WHISPERING.]
Camera two.
Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
There that Mr.
Pickles struggles with things too.
I don't want you to hide things, even when they're painful.
What could be so painful, Mr.
Pickles, that you require a nurse? You see, Ennui, Nurse Jill is a nurse, that's true, but she's also my wife, and we're getting a divorce.
What is divorce? It's, um Divorce is when a husband and a wife decide not to live together anymore, and that they don't want to be married to each other.
[EXHALES HEAVILY.]
Well, don't you love each other? I still love him very much.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I brought your favorite sweater in case you were cold.
Thank you.
[EXHALES.]
That's so thoughtful.
And do you still love Jill, Monsieur Pickles? Of course.
Then this makes no sense! I-if you love each other, why are you getting a divorce? Sometimes in life, there are problems that just can't be solved, and no matter how much we love each other, love, even a lot of love, isn't enough to keep us together.
Then you are having an Ungluing? We tried to keep it all together, but the glue didn't hold.
Sometimes, when bad things happen, you react in a way that hurts the other person, and you didn't even realize it.
[JEFF.]
And sometimes, you run away from bad things at home and hide and pretend we're something we're not.
Like a tree? Like a tree.
[LAUGHS.]
[ENNUI.]
What will happen next, Monsieur Pickles? I don't know.
[LAUGHS.]
What will you do, Nurse Jill? I don't know.
[LAUGHS.]
I do not know what will happen to me when I leave Pickle Barrel Falls.
Maybe it's for the best.
What do you mean? Who can know what happens when you step into the "I don't know"? Things might be amazing there.
But what if they're not? Would you rather live in a dangerous place that could come crashing down on you at any moment? No.
Then welcome to the "I don't know.
" Oh, and those papers you asked me about earlier? Oui.
Those are my divorce papers, and when I sign those, my marriage is over.
[ENNUI.]
Oh.
They're my ticket to the "I don't know.
" But then I shall get rid of the papers, and you won't get divorced.
Doesn't work that way, Ennui.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
I'm scared of the "I don't know," Monsieur Pickles.
I'm scared too.
[CRASHING SOUND.]
Oh, another Ungluing.
No.
Look, it's Hopscotch.
That means it's time.
Time? To leave.
Come on.
We'll take you.
[PANTING.]
There she is! Don't let her get away! [PUPPETS JEERING.]
[EXHAUSTED GRUNT.]
Ennui's home was a pastry perfection, but because of you, it's now a pile of loose Danish.
Now, you eat that Danish.
Croissants away! [PUPPETS CHEER.]
Wait! Wait! No, no, no, no! No! Don't blame Deirdre.
It's not her fault.
Then whose fault is it? Hit her again while she's thinking of an answer! Yeah! Let's get her! No, tiny pickle.
[SIGHS.]
The truth is Maybe it's for the best.
What are you talking about, cheese-feet? I thought when bread gets stale and crusty You throw it in the trash, finis Or so it always seemed to me Ah, but loaves a few days old Can be French toasted Till they're gold And though our homes may be ungluing Change is hard But worth the chewing It took me a long time to figure it out, but thanks to Monsieur Pickles and Nurse Jill, I think I understand.
We fuss and we fret We shake till we're shook But when we're upset We then overlook It's better to leave a broken home Than to be crushed by it Leaving's for the best [PICKLES GIBBERING.]
We're people who care We tried and we tried But maybe this pair Had better divide And when they're apart They won't fight as much Or be as angry Divorce is for the best I'm sorry.
I c I can't do this.
[SIGHS.]
My heart can't take it.
Ooh! Thump-Thump? Change can lead to growing But not knowing Feels so grave Be brave The start's the hardest part Sometimes, you just need a little heart.
So quicken your pace And forward your mail There's sun on your face And wind in your sail Head high You make towards the shore It's for the best [HOPSCOTCH.]
Well, Pickle Pals, it's time to go.
I wish I was as brave as you, Monsieur Pickles.
Worries may confound you All around you From the start Take heart And when in need, you'll know You're taking me and Pickle Barrel Falls Wherever you go [PICCOLA GRANDE.]
Where do you turn When there's no one to turn to Where, when it's so hard to cope? How can you start Make a change Maybe learn too? What do you need? Hope.
Hope is the song When the world is a menace Hope is the open Door Maybe getting back up again Is What falls Are for Thanks, Monsieur Pickles.
Now I am ready.
[THUMP-THUMP.]
Me too! Au revoir, mon ami.
- [ALL.]
This is for the best - Au revoir, mes amis.
Au revoir, Pickle Barrel Falls.
[LAUGHS.]
Into the "I don't know"! If Ennui can do it, so can I.
[DEIRDRE.]
This is for the best.
[ALL.]
This is for the best This is for the best Whoa! Oh, what if this is a mistake? If we don't make mistakes, we never learn.
[ALL.]
And as we ascend And as we ascend [ALL.]
Way up to the sky We're facing the end And saying Good-bye But not as scared As before - [GASPS.]
- [ALL.]
It's for The best I'm sorry the glue didn't hold.
Me too.
This is for the best.
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
[ANNOUNCER.]
Eight minutes left in the match.
[NARRATOR.]
Home has the kitchen that Carol likes, but [WOMAN.]
It's your life.
Live it.
Would you like to try one of the greatest five star delicacies - in all of the culinary world? - [RECORD SCRATCHES.]
Then come on down to Sandwich Hut for the new French Dip sandwich.
It's da best.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC.]
This is for the best This is for the best And as we ascend Way up to the sky We're facing the end And saying good-bye