Living In Your Car (2010) s02e05 Episode Script

Do your time to pay the price for every thing you've done wrong, baby.
In your life, you get so high there's nowhere left to go but down.
Don't believe that no one cares 'cause we're here waiting for you, baby.
Do your time then come home for then come home for good.
Who are those people? A father and daughter busker team.
- They any good? - How the hell would I know? You're not gonna be playing that thing around here, are you? Not unless you pay me.
You're a bit young for a venture capitalist.
Yeah, I am.
You told them to give the rights to your mother? Dad, you heard them; They had a different vision for the company than I did! And when I told mom about the idea, she was very enthusiastic.
And I had the exact amount of seed money they needed to get started.
It's a gala for those of us in the horse community.
There's a horse community? It's a networking opportunity.
Horse people network, do they? Those of us that don't just have hobby farms do - those of us that train, show, and breed.
That why you're all dolled up? Are you planning to breed tonight? Oh yeah, this might be it, Scott! The opportunity I need to get myself back into the world where I belong.
Phil is very keen on this guy he's hooking me up with.
Phil Oh, your father-in-law.
Your father-in-law the crook! Well, he's not actually a crook.
I mean, he probably was, and he sure knows a lot of them.
look, you know what? It's all gonna come down to what I make of the situation, and I plan to make a lot of it.
So how do I look? Okay? - You look pretty good.
- Great.
Thanks.
You know what? Something very special happens to me when I put on a tie.
I feel kinda blessed.
Blessed as in blessed by God? No, I mean, blessed by myself.
I feel by putting on a tie I've kinda anointed myself as a person to be reckoned with.
Yup, I have a feeling this is gonna turn out very well.
Don't you get that feeling a lot and you're usually wrong? Even so, I don't see the value in planning for failure.
These eggs, they're great by the way.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
All right, I've gotta go.
What? You're not gonna eat them with me? No, I've gotta get to school.
You're back in school? Yeah.
My mom got a job.
Job? Wow! That's terrific! You know, I bet she'll be able to get you guys out of here and into a permanent place in no time! Well, it's just as an assistant nurse.
Even so, you know, she can work her way up.
She works at a retirement home for poor people, so I don't think you can just work your way up.
You just hang in there, Scott.
You don't think it's strange this guy's not concerned about my past? Well, he's not putting your name on the door, Steve.
He just wants you to do research and analysis, that sort of thing.
He's probably not even gonna tell anyone you're working for him.
So I'm gonna be kinda like a kitchen boy, huh? I was expecting more, Phil.
Yeah, well, that's you, isn't it? I mean, you're lucky the guy's even ready to talk to you.
This man runs a multi-million dollar operation.
Yeah? So why doesn't he have an office? Why's he's working at a hotel? Maybe he likes the view and the room service.
Yeah.
Maybe he likes that it's not permanent.
Hey, that's a bit paranoid.
I just like to know who I'm dealing with, in case something goes wrong.
So you'll know who to blame? No, I already know I'll be blaming you.
I just wanna make sure I don't get blindsided.
So how exactly did you meet him? Well, I was shopping for, uh, investors in this new opportunity I've come across.
So when I ran into him, he knew of our relationship.
He asked about you, I told him the whole sad state of your life and here we are.
So you're saying he felt sorry for me, huh? Maybe.
But what's it matter, as long as you get your foot in? Truth is, I think he was looking for an MBA type.
You know, someone with polish, who'd impress certain people.
What kind of people? People who'd be impressed by an MBA type.
Look, when you meet Norm, if you could say a couple of, uh, good things about me, - that'd be great.
- Okay.
Thanks for bringing him by, Phil.
Just the kind of guy I need.
Great, great.
You have a chance to look over my proposal? Yeah, I just have to do a little research.
I'll get back to you.
Sure, but there is a time crunch.
There's a time crunch around the purchase of laundry detergent? Hey, this isn't just laundry detergent.
See, there's this Romanian manufacturer who's converted it into something - that can be used to build houses! - What?! It sounded preposterous to me too! Yeah, well, you have to mix in some plastic compound, and the houses are only strong enough to be used in certain areas of the third world - nothing too near the coast, you know, or where it rains - but still, it seemed like something well worth investigating, don't you think? - No! - Well, Kate does! She was the one who found it on the Internet.
- Who's Kate? - My daughter.
Yeah, she said look into it, and so I, uh, flew to Romania.
- You did? - Yeah, I had to see it with my own eyes.
And now I need to see it with my own eyes, or at least get one of my people over there to see it.
So if you need an answer before that can be arranged, I'd have to say no.
Hey, take your time! But I have to tell ya that I'm talking to other people.
No, you're not.
Now go away.
Steve and I need to get acquainted.
Sure.
It's a standard confidentiality agreement with a no competition clause for six months.
Nothing unreasonable, I'm not asking for your firstborn or anything! And that's, uh, that-that's Salary, yeah.
Plus a yearly bonus.
I know, I know.
I treat my people well.
But I take the confidentiality clause very seriously.
So if you talk to anyone about what you do with me Oh no, I get it.
You know, I'll be uh Terminated! Terminated, yeah.
Yeah, he means let go.
Well, let's hope so.
I thought I was supposed to be doing project analysis.
You know, analyzing prospective companies Norm was thinking of investing in.
I'm just saying, I didn't think deliveries were part of the job.
The job is whatever Norm says the job is.
No questions.
You mean for me, I shouldn't ask any questions? Nobody asks any questions.
- Including you? - Yes, but mostly you.
No questions.
Never.
Okay, but if we never ask any questions, I mean, how do we know what's going on? - We don't.
- Only Norm knows.
Right.
- And we just do what he tells us? - Yes! Okay, so you don't know who we're meeting then? And we're just supposed to drop off this briefcase and that's it? We pick up something also.
But you don't know what that is.
I didn't say that.
So you do know? I told you, no questions! - Okay, right! - No names, also! - No names?! - Yes, don't use your name.
Don't use name of nobody, okay? Okay, I got it.
No names.
It's all there.
You can count it again if you like, but I double counted it before we left, so.
- It's all here.
- Like I said.
It doesn't matter what you said.
It only matters that I say it.
And you just said it.
So now that that's out of the way, you have something for us.
At the end of the hallway is a fire hose.
You'll find what you need in there.
In the fire hose?! Not in the fire hose.
In the box containing the fire hose.
Yeah I'm sorry, I just don't think I should be leaving the money here and walking down the hallway to- Junior and me, we stay here with him and the money, while Norm looks over the papers.
Papers.
Which you'll find down the hallway! So just go get them and take them to Norm! If he says okay, you come back and let us know.
Come back? What, I can't just phone? No! We don't use a phone! You just come back with Norm's okay, we leave the money with this gentleman, and go.
Okay, okay.
It just seems like a lot of trouble to go to when this guy could've just given us the papers He's not here.
What? He's not here.
You neither.
I'm not here? - No! - Are you here? No one is here.
And nothing is also.
No money, no papers.
Nothing, okay? Okay.
The fire hose? This is it? These are the only papers he gave you? Oh, he didn't give me anything.
He wasn't there.
Neither was anyone else.
What?! Oh, yeah.
Yeah, what is it with all that stuff? Just a way of maintaining anonymity.
Why is that necessary? You just asked me two questions in a row.
Didn't Frankie tell you how I feel about 'em? Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
But I can't be involved in anything illegal.
Who says it was illegal? Well, people don't usually announce to someone they've just met they're about to be involved in something illegal.
Unless the person they've just met has already done a number of illegal things, then why does it matter? So it is illegal.
Okay, because you're new, I'm gonna make an exception and answer some questions for you.
Oh, okay.
That's very nice of you.
Go ahead, ask a question.
I just did.
Well, ask it again, because I've forgotten what it was.
So have I.
Uh no, no, I remember.
I mean, if it's not illegal, then why does everything have to be anonymous? Because if the wrong people found out about it before everything was finalized, it could get messy.
Messy in what way? In the only way that matters: Financially.
But not dangerous, huh? Never messy dangerous? Occasionally it can get a little bit- But what about this particular transaction? Enh! End of question period! I need you to bring Frankie back now.
Junior can stay with that man you met, I need Frankie here.
- Why? - Well, are you capable of protecting me? Protecting you from what? Enh! Enh! Just get Frankie! Okay! Okay! I mean, why can't we just phone him and ask him? We don't use phones! What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you had experience in these matters! What the hell did you put in this thing? Hey, you can't blame me because you forgot to ask for a detailed job description before you, you know, agreed to work for him.
You told me he was legit! No, I never said legit.
I said he was a guy who had a good reputation for getting things done! Yeah, well, I had a very good reputation as a guy who got things done, too! Yeah, well, when you put it that way Did you remember the passports? Got 'em right here, honey.
All right, okay.
Here.
- It's heavy! - Did you have to bring so much stuff? Oh! Okay.
Let me give you some advice, Phil.
Do not begin this trip by annoying me, or it's gonna be a very long two weeks for you! Whatever you say, doll.
Steve, we've got a plane to catch, okay? What? I'm sorry? We're flying over to Romania, okay, to get more info on that convertible laundry detergent thing.
Really? That actually exists? Yeah, sure.
Hey, you wanna say goodbye to your dad? Oh, yeah! - Hi, dad.
- Hey, honey.
What's going on? I'm going to Europe with grandma and Phil.
Why? I've been finding all these investment opportunities on the Internet - mainly in the former Soviet Union - and Phil needs my help locating a few of them.
Yeah, well, what about school? It's only for a few weeks! This'll be a great experience for me! Kate, Kate, could you put Phil back on? Yeah, okay.
Take care, Dad.
See you soon.
Here, Phil.
Yeah, right.
Okay, what's up, Steve? You're taking Kate to Eastern Europe, and that's okay with Lori? Well, Lori's kinda busy right now with this new business.
What new business? The electronic study guide! Hang up, Phil! Let's go! Okay, honey, it's all right.
No, sorry, now! You've wasted enough time on that clown! Okay.
Goodbye, loser, and try to stay out of trouble while we're gone, okay? Talk about betrayal! Maybe next time you'll recruit your assistant from somewhere other than the Russian mob! They're Polish, and thanks for the advice, but the betrayal I was referring to was yours.
Did you hear him? Your two flunkies took off with your money! No, they took off with your money.
It had already been delivered to you, so.
Wait a minute.
No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, look! We can discuss this later.
The real issue here is that you and I made a deal and you reneged.
Your old man's agreement to sell me his share of the company was supposed to be accompanied by another one from your brother! My brother changed his mind.
Then why didn't you let me know before I gave you the money? I tried; You never answer your phone! Oh! How well do you know Norm? I mean, have you been around him long enough to see how he transacts business? And more importantly, do you know what that business actually is? This was supposed to be a discreet handing over of the company! My brother thinks his share'll be worth more if we wait for the Mattressot offer.
Well there is no Mattressot offer.
My brother thinks there will be.
Well, he's wrong.
How do you know that? Because I am Mattressot! And I'm also mattress pen, mattress stuff, mattress durpee! So, you're in the mattress business, then.
No more than I'm in the paper business because I own Bungees paper, or the Carpello paper company, or the ice cream business because I own Gelato Telato, or Ticker's Frozen Delights! Or the weapons business, because I The point is, I own a lot of things, and the only business I'm in is getting more things to own and I don't do it by telling people what I already own; I do it by going in a side door, which I get people like you to open for me, and then offering shithole companies what they're really worth and not what they think they can get from some well established name! Forget you heard any of this.
That's not a problem for me.
Good.
Because you've got a big enough problem here already.
I do? You have to get this man's million bucks back to him! - They're in Romania? - With your father-in-law.
Actually, they might already be in Poland.
Poland?! Yeah, my guy in that detergent factory says that's where they're gonna go next.
You've got a guy in the detergent factory? Yeah.
My side door guy, yeah.
I was just doing my due diligence on Phil's proposal.
Anyway, the guy emailed me a couple of hours ago that Frankie and junior showed up to talk to Phil, and one of them was holding a briefcase.
The briefcase with the money in it.
Yeah.
So I'm assuming that when they heard Phil talk about the convertible laundry detergent, they thought it was something worth investigating.
Ah.
With your money.
Which I need you to get back to me.
Why me? Because you're the only one working for me at the moment! Really? And yet, you own all those other- I mean the only one who's working for me in this particular part of my operation.
Oh yeah, the not-entirely-legitimate- but-not-really-illegal part.
Okay, let's cut the shit! Of course it's illegal! Why do you gotta make such a big thing about it all the time? I mean, you're a crook yourself! While I've had some difficulty with the law, I don't consider myself- You're a crook, and you work for a crook.
- You mean you.
- Yes, I mean me.
You think the money they stole from me was actually mine? Well, probably not technically- it's a deposit that I took on an apartment building - that I didn't actually own at the time.
- What?! I use deposits for purposes like bribing that little prick into convincing his family to sell me their mattress business! Okay, do these people ever get their deposits back? Sure.
If I can get deposits from someplace else.
Okay, you know what? I'm just wondering now, why are you telling me that? Because you have to stop pussyfooting around and acknowledge the situation which you are in! Oh my God! That's good.
What's going on, Phil? Oh, a hell of a lot.
What's going on with you? Oh, the usual.
You know, the relatively good thing I thought might happen, has somehow turned into a pretty bad thing.
Yeah, look, Steve, can you get to the point? See, I'm right in the middle of firming up a deal here that could net me millions.
Oh, millions.
Really? Dirt cheap housing for the third world? We're talking endless profits here.
Don't you usually require some evidence of financial backing to firm up something that big? Well, our pal Norm looked after that.
He sent a couple of his associates over with some investment capital, you know? Are they there with you now? Oh yeah, they wanted to check out the Polish part of the operation.
They're great guys, you know.
You know that Frankie? Kate thinks he's a scream! Yeah, you keep her away from him, okay? Why? Well, they're mob guys! M-mob guys? What kind of mob guys? Well, I don't know.
They're Polish! There's a Polish mob? I don't think so.
Yeah well, what does it matter? Look, they're criminals! They heard you talking about your deal with Norm and stole that money they're carrying around from him so they could invest it with you! Uh, Steve, I've gotta go.
Something's come up here.
H-hey! Thank you.
Thanks.
Please, that is potato vodka.
It's best to wait for water.
Are you okay? Yeah, everything is fine.
Own it, Marty! Oh, you got it! You got it! Marty, come here! I just need your assistance with something.
Yeah, as your lawyer? As my lawyer's nephew.
You mean as your former lawyer's nephew who's also your lawyer.
Which means you're gonna charge me? Absolutely! But right now I'm busy doing something else.
We're doing some, uh, uh Publicity shots for our new show.
So it's like you and Toby now, huh? Neil's out of the picture? Yeah, he's on the coast taking meetings.
So, in the meantime, you and Toby just kinda barge ahead without him, huh? Into another failed attempt at factual entertainment superstardom? Yeah, yeah, except this one's different.
Okay, this is life and death.
You mean, it's a last chance.
No, no, no, no.
I mean it's called "life and death.
" Okay, we chronicle actual births and deaths by getting right in there during the moments leading up to both events.
See, so when the kid pops out, or the plug is pulled on some old guy, we're r- You were right, man! You were right! The sports metaphor was the way to go! Please, I just need you to look at something for me.
This is a contract I signed with my current employer.
Okay, so this clause, 11b, that's the clause you're worried about? - A little.
- Just a little? You are aware that this is an indemnity clause, right? It means that you will share the blame for any and all omissions, financial shortfalls, or even blatantly illegal actions that this organization might be responsible for! Did you even read this before you signed it? Yeah, well, I was under a certain amount of pressure.
What kind of pressure? Look, look, look.
I just have one question.
Does illegal action necessarily mean the same thing as criminal action? Are you asking me if you can commit a crime without it being considered illegal? Or do something illegal without it being considered a crime? I mean, murder's a crime, right? But nobody ever refers to it as being illegal.
I mean, it's a crime for sure, whereas embezzlement, extortion, bribery I think you might be really screwed here, Steve, and from your description of how this guy does business, I gotta say you'll probably be back in prison within months.
- Really? - Yeah, really.
Sorry.
Hey, listen, I gotta go insert myself into the action here, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about me, Marty.
Yeah, you just go ahead and insert yourself.
- Take it.
- I can't.
It's investment in detergent houses.
I know, but it's not really your money, so Who said this? Who said this is not my money? No, it's just something I heard.
- - But anyway, thanks a lot.
- Take the money! - No thanks! Take it and make detergent houses! I'd love to, but I can't! - Take it! - Okay, okay.
Good.
We are partners.
Muah! Muah! Uh, look, I can't keep it.
Why not? Because if I keep it, they'll think that they're my partners! Yeah, but if you don't give it back to Norm, who knows what will happen? Well, Maybe nothing'll happen.
Phil, of all the things that could happen, nothing happening is the least likely.
Whoa! Honey, maybe you should knock off the vodka for a bit.
Ah, bite me! I know! Is that Kate you're talking to? No, no, no, no, it's Lola.
She's found some drinking buddies, and you know Phil, keep the money, bring it home to Norm and let him deal with those two guys.
I don't know, I could be letting myself into some pretty ugly business here.
Phil, please! Norm has ordered me to get that money back.
He needs to bribe someone with it.
Steve, is this really the kind of thing that you should be getting involved in? Well, it's the kind of thing you got me involved in, Phil! So don't you think you should at least help me out here? Oh! Okay, look, I gotta go.
Things are getting out of hand here.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I think maybe I had a little bit too much to drink! - It's okay.
- Okay.
It's nothing.
I'll help you fix it.
Hey, okay, Grandma.
Let's catch a cab back to the hotel.
- Okay, fine.
- Okay, yup.
Okay, can they come? Come! No, we have to stay to build for demonstration of the detergent house.
Yeah? Oh, you're great.
They are so great.
You know? And, man, can they drink! I am so impressed By how much of that stuff you can handle.
Okay.
Come along, come along.
And we are impressed by you too.
How much you want? How much you want? I-I'm sorry? How much you want for wife? You're saying you want to buy Lola? Yes.
I love her.
She can cook? Sure.
So, okay, so how much? Oh no, I couldn't possibly.
A million dollars? Thank you.
Yeah.
Great, great.
Thank you very much.
Wow, you know what? That was great! What are you doing here? Well, I've gotta be somewhere.
I meant, why aren't you at your new job? You know about that? Yeah, I heard you talking to some people back at the- Oh, I can't go back to where I work right now.
Yeah, the man I work for, well, I'm kind of afraid something might happen.
Anyway, you know what? I think you're extremely talented! Thanks! Oh.
She'd like your autograph.
She knows you're famous, but she's not sure why.
Oh! From my trial, probably.
Yeah, it'd be my pleasure.
So the work you do for this man is dangerous or something? You know what? I'm really not up to talking about it right now, Kristy.
Anyway, I think you guys should really be paid for what you do.
We are.
No, no, no.
I'm talking about real money.
You mean more money, more money means less freedom, and less freedom means less happiness.
Oh.
So much to learn.
So much to learn.
Companies are supposed to get their employees to stop working to watch us perform? Oh yeah.
And you think that's a service management would be keen on paying us for? Yeah, ten minutes a day of exciting diversion, like, it would probably double everybody's output.
What do you think, Papa? I think he wants to sleep with you.
You're too old for her! Oh, well, this should be interesting.
Hey, Lor.
What can I do for you today? You can tell me where our daughter is.
You don't know? She left a very brief message telling me that she'd gone on a working vacation with my parents.
I believe that message was left a few days ago.
I've been busy.
Polishing the horses? You don't polish horses, Steve, you Working vacation, okay.
Working vacation where? The former Soviet Union.
Yeah, she and your dad are investigating a number of new and untried, uh, investment opportunities.
And you just let her go? You agreed to let her fly off- Romania, Poland Yeah, I wasn't really asked for permission, but at least I was around to have my opinion about it ignored.
So I take it, what, you've completely handed over the raising of our daughter to your parents? It's short-term.
Until I get this software company up and running.
Oh, so now it's a company.
I thought it was just like an idea.
Who's that? My assistant.
Ooh! Well, if you have an assistant, then it must be- - Be quiet.
- Sure.
None of those three are answering their phones.
If one of 'em gets a hold of you, just I'll have them call you.
Yeah.
I promise.
Good.
And in the meantime, you know, I wish you all the best with your new enterprise.
Sure you do.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi! You've been waiting for this? Oh yeah! Wow.
How'd you get this through customs? Frankie told me how to do it.
Those mobster guys know a lot of things that most of us don't.
Look, I've gotta get home to bed; I'm bagged from the flight.
Uh, where are your grandparents? Uh, Phil's in Istanbul looking into this fertilizing thing that I found for him on the Internet, and Lola had got an invitation to stay with the family in Warsaw.
Oh.
Well, that's nice.
You sure you're gonna be okay with all that money, dad? You're not just gonna be tempted to take off? I'm just kidding, dad.
Oh, yeah.
You were just kidding, that was a good one.
See you later! It's amazing how she gets men to do that.
I mean, she doesn't actually ask, you just find yourself holding a jar of polish Well, it's all here.
Good.
And I appreciate your effort on this.
Yeah, well, you're welcome.
I mean, thanks.
Now I need you to take it somewhere for me.
I thought it was for him! Oh no, that deal's done; His brother won't cooperate.
I mean, what am I supposed to do? Have the asshole killed? No, it's time to move on.
Now here's the address where I want you to take it.
But be careful, because there's this- I can't.
- I'm sorry? - I just can't.
I mean, your business Not that there's anything wrong with your bus- well, actually there is, but that's not the point.
Yeah, the point is, you're not cut out for it.
I mean, given your past, it's a bit of a surprise.
Yeah, and you know what? I just hate to leave you short-staffed here, Norm No, no, that's okay.
I think Hasafan there is interested in coming on board.
Oh, right, well, okay, then.
Um come Ah.
Just one more thing.
How did your father-in-law manage to get the money away from those two guys? Here you go, boys! It's not Polish food, but it's damn good! Well, it's the least I can do for you, inviting me to stay in your home for a while! It's your home! Yeah, well, yeah, and you know if you come and stay in my home sometime, it'll be your home while you're there.
No, this is my home.
My home is your home.
And my home, your home! No, no, no My home, your home.
Well, yeah, well, great! Great! Yeah! Na zdrowie! Na zdrowie! Mmmm! Yeah.
I think I'm coming home soon.
Yeah.
All men here are very stupid.
They just wanna paint my toenails, and ogle my breasts.
Not one of them has engaged me in a conversation! Yeah.
And I hunger for intelligent discourse! I hunger for mental stimulation, for something funny, you know? Yeah! Well I think I'm coming home now.