Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s02e05 Episode Script
Church of Metropolis
- Chocolate tart and raspberry sauce.
- Oh, Uncle Mike, no.
Well, maybe I could move into my gym for a month.
Oh, this is fantastic.
- He does all the baking himself.
- Lately, it's more of a hobby than a job.
I just don't understand what's happened to this neighborhood.
Well, the neighborhood's in transition.
Getting more eclectic.
- It's kind of like Saigon without the jets.
- Oh, you better get some water on that.
Dab, don't wipe.
Excuse me.
Man, you just stepped over the line, and you going down.
You're the only one going anywhere.
And I hope, for your sake, you don't mind showering in groups.
- Little punk tried to burn me out.
- You can't prove that.
You can't prove nothing because nobody saw.
- I did.
- He's part of the local gang.
- The Skins.
- I'm gonna call the police.
Get your shoes off and get comfortable.
Last time I called, it took them two hours.
Hi, I'd like to report an arson.
This is Lois Lane, l - They put me on hold.
- Lois Lane? You're Lois Lane? - Have we met? - Oh, no, we ain't met.
It's just funny because you're dead.
I mean, I know you're walking around, lady but trust me, go out and pick yourself a nice grave.
And from what I hear, pick it out fast.
Get off me, man! - I told every person here, man.
- Hey, Reilly, where's the bear claws? - These are awful.
- All that crime out there and look what we have in here: A doughnut commercial.
Excuse me.
Is one of you Clark Kent? I am.
Mason Drake, deputy DA.
I'd like to see if you're willing to testify against Baby Rage.
I'm not telling you nothing unless I see my lawyer! - Man, let me out of here! - Baby Rage? - Get off me! - I wonder why they call him that? - You must be Mike Lane.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry about what happened to your restaurant.
They're gonna have to do a lot more than that to get me to pull out.
- And you are? - Lois Lane.
- I'm the one that called the police.
- That kid also threatened Lois.
He was just trying to scare me.
Well, now it's my turn to scare him, with your help.
Whatever I saw, I will tell in court, Miss Drake.
Mason.
Call my office in the morning so we can arrange a deposition.
And if you need to reach me during off-hours my home phone's on the back.
Thank you.
Subtle.
And I'll have Superman get in touch with you.
Oh, Superman.
Right, I guess I have to talk to him, don't I? - Most people consider that an honor.
- Well, I guess I'm not most people.
- Clark, we'll talk soon? - Yeah.
Okay.
Come on.
We're gonna find out why these cops are slowing down all of a sudden.
- Bye, Uncle Mike.
- You go get them, honey.
You have that "I have a plan" look in your eyes.
We're gonna talk to my source in the commissioner's office.
If anybody can help us, he can - What? - A bug just bit me.
- It really hurts.
- You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
Good afternoon, may I have your attention, please.
Good people of Metropolis, I'm Perry White, editor of the Daily Planet.
Thank you, thank you.
And with me today is Mr.
Bill Church, who's chairman of the Cost Mart discount chain.
He's asked me to make the announcement that his company and the Daily Planet are cosponsoring a charity ball for the Urban Redevelopment Fund.
And now I think Bill has a few words to say to everybody.
Come on up here, Bill.
Thank you, Perry.
I just wanna say how glad I am to be part of this great city.
We're not just here to do business.
We're here to be part of your lives.
- Thank you.
- Boy, this is a bargain hunter's dream.
Attention, Cost Mart shoppers.
As a Jimmy, you got a girl on your mind? - How did you know? - Oh, it's just a wild guess.
So, what's the problem? Her name's Kelly.
I really like her, I think she likes me.
We've been out twice.
Third date, huh? Do I keep on that same road or do I make a U-turn? - Man, you're batting a thousand.
- Now, see, love is tricky.
You gotta think of it like a jungle river.
Exotic, treacherous, beautiful, but uncharted.
Reach up to grab a mango off a tree and you're just as likely to get your arm ripped off by a jaguar.
Now, think of me as a jungle guide.
I've been down that river many times before.
One who knows every rock and rapid and twist.
Chief, I'm a little lost.
- Are you saying I should call her or what? - What I'm saying is, trust me, Jimmy.
Trust me.
Entrance code accepted, Mr.
Church.
Attention, Cost Mart shoppers.
All those signing up for the Cost Mart Overseas operatives are online and standing by, Mr.
Church.
What's the latest on the election? The minister wants 500,000 for the endorsement.
That's a lot of money for a speech and a handshake.
What are his vulnerabilities? - A 12-year-old daughter.
- Offer him 150.
If he doesn't accept it, take a picture of his daughter walking to school.
Show it to him then offer him nothing.
Done.
How's the Metropolis franchise coming? I'll let you know.
We'll pick this up in 10 minutes.
Overseas conference call terminated.
- Hello, Martin.
- Mr.
Church.
I know.
You're upset about Baby Rage.
You see this pill? High blood pressure.
The doctor says, "Get it under control.
Less stress in your life.
Delegate.
" I am delegating.
And my blood pressure is not going down.
What were they? What were they doing setting fires in the middle of the day? - With witnesses around? - I'll be honest.
He and the Skins are a little difficult to control.
Of all the humanity on this planet, you pick them.
You make it work or cut them loose.
But don't walk in here with excuses that are going to upset my doctor.
Yes, sir.
I don't need to tell you that we're at a very crucial point in the Metropolis franchise.
We can't afford to be out in the open until Superman is taken care of.
I've got good news on that front.
The plan's just gone online.
You say go, and everything's in play.
So go already.
- Maybe he didn't get your message.
- He got it.
- Maybe he ignored it? - I didn't.
- Thanks for coming.
- You must be Kent.
So, Lois, you wanna know about the Southside? - What can you tell me? - You better be sure you wanna know.
Once you cross into this, there's no going back.
- We're sure.
- It began with Southside Precinct's budgets being cut.
Then men transferred, equipment sabotaged cops paid to look the other way.
- Why? - Think about it.
What happens when a good neighborhood goes bad? People wanna move.
Prices go down.
Whole blocks go on the market for pennies on the dollar.
- Very good.
- Who's behind all this? I wanna help.
Bad cops make a bad city.
But my neck's a little too far out on this as it is.
You gotta give me something.
See if this leads you somewhere.
Don't call me again.
By the way you didn't say if you liked my new mustache.
He wasn't kidding when he said this was big.
If these reports are true, half the major cities in the world might have been infiltrated by this organization.
The Australian press even nicknamed it.
"Intergang.
" Look what happened to the reporter.
- Fatal car accident.
- Superman? Police investigated.
- I'm contacting you - Oh, here's a shock.
- on a frequency only you - No evidence of foul play.
- and bats can hear.
- Incredible.
Europe, Asia, South America.
I don't know where you spend off-hours but if I were you, I'd be at the arboretum pond in three minutes.
Why hasn't anyone ever gone after these guys? - Or someone is going to die.
- Clark? Hello? Lois, I just remembered I have an errand to do.
I'll be right back.
Hey there.
Martin Snell.
Good to meet you.
I bet you're wondering how I made that little person-to-person.
Superman, let's talk.
- Nice little piece of equipment, huh? - Lf this is your idea of a joke you're gonna need a lawyer.
No, I won't, because A, I am a lawyer, and B, this is no joke.
I'll give you the name of the person who's gonna die.
I think you know her.
Lois Lane? I'd say she's got about 10 seconds.
Think you can get there in time? Lock on the target.
- Five.
- Target one locked.
Four.
- Three.
- Signal good.
Stand by launch.
- Two.
- Weapons free.
One.
Fire.
Go.
Targeting two.
Go.
Four seconds to impact.
Superman, what? - You all right? - What is this? Somebody's idea of a sick joke.
It's only paint.
Don't worry, they won't bother you again.
Easy.
I just wanted to get your attention so we could have a talk.
You get that look on your face.
You remind me of a few judges I know.
You gonna lift me up again? Okay.
To the chase.
Like everyone else on earth, you've got me dazzled, I'm a big fan.
So I don't want you to stop being the Man of Steel because it's a beautiful thing.
It gives us all hope.
But what my partners and I do want is for you to stay out of our business.
I don't take orders.
Fine.
Call it a suggestion.
A very strong suggestion.
Face it you got your little red shorts caught in a bad combo of high-tech and close friends.
Even you can't be in two places at once, but our bullets can.
So where does that leave us? - Let's ask the DA.
- Oh, sure, you could take me in.
You're Superman, and I'm just a guy from Paramus.
New Jersey.
But do that, and two things happen.
A, someone you care about dies, and B, my replacement steps right in.
Now, you don't want A, and I don't want B.
So I think what you need is a little attitude adjustment.
And by that I mean you be the best Superman you can be.
Street crime, wipe it out.
Terrorists, kick their butts.
Carjackers.
Hey, I drive a Ferrari.
Put those guys in orbit.
But stay out of the Southside.
I don't care if it's a cat chasing a mouse, you flash cape in that part of town you're looking at an all-expenses-paid education in bereavement.
- Are we clear? - On one thing.
This is not over.
Man of Steel, will of iron.
You gotta love it, Mr.
Church.
Thanks for the statement.
We'll be in touch.
Whatever I can do to help the DA's office Like I said, we'll be in touch.
I'd be more than willing to testify against Baby Rage.
- I don't think so.
- Have I done something to offend you? Do you have a license to chase criminals? Do you read them their rights? If you hurt someone, are you insured? Where do you live? Do you work? Who are you? I can't tell you that.
- Exactly.
- Hey, big guy.
- Mason, can I talk to you a second? - This is just not my day.
Superman, hi! Hi, Lois.
Funny, he's a lot shorter in person than you'd think.
- I don't know what your problem is - Clark, hi! Hi, sorry I'm late.
You're not late, but I'm afraid that I just got called in on a double homicide downtown.
So we're gonna have to postpone our deposition.
- Can I call you and reschedule? - Sure, yeah.
If you can spare a few seconds we'd like to talk about something else we found out.
- Let's walk.
- We have a pretty good lead on what's really happening in the Southside.
Ever heard of Intergang? Tell me what you've learned.
It seems they just acquire companies, other criminal operations, even governments.
They just swallow them whole and start running them.
Always from a distance, hidden.
You think they're funding the Skins, don't you? Yes, I do.
Our source thinks they've infiltrated the police, but won't give names.
If I can think of anything that will help you or your uncle, I will be in touch.
- Talk soon? - Yeah.
I don't know about her.
And what is her problem with Superman? Hey, reporter man.
Got a match? - Come on.
- Here we go.
Who's the greasy creep in the silk suit? Martin Snell.
A certain source of mine says that he's a lawyer for Intergang.
And now he's a lawyer for Baby Rage.
Interesting.
Hi, Kelly.
It's Jimmy.
Listen, I know we said we might do something this weekend but my boss has got me on assignment all weekend.
Yeah.
All night Friday.
Yeah, all day Saturday too.
- Sunday? A picnic? - No.
Really? No, I didn't know there were nude beaches that close by.
That sounds great but he's got me working all day Sunday too.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's killing me.
I'll call you, though, okay? Bye, Kelly.
I don't know, chief.
I don't like lying to her like that.
You're not lying.
I'm gonna work your butt off this weekend.
- Still, I - Jimmy, what makes gold so valuable? - It makes good fillings? - No, because it's rare.
You're gonna make yourself a valued commodity by making yourself rare.
Trust me, son.
Hey, look at this.
- What? - Checking public records on Martin Snell.
Five years ago, he was staff counsel for Bill Church.
- The Cost Mart guy? - Worked in corporate acquisitions.
Responsible for buying up overseas companies.
I wonder Oh, now, this is interesting.
Cross-graph what we know about the spread of Intergang with the spread of Cost Marts around the world.
Everywhere Intergang has gotten a foothold, there's a Cost Mart.
Okay, let's pull up the police files on Bill Church.
See, nothing.
Not even a parking ticket.
So he's never been caught.
Neither was Lex Luthor till the end.
Well, you may be on to something but I really think Martin Snell is the guy to nail here.
- I think we should just stay on him, okay? - Okay, kids.
Comp tickets for the charity ball.
Make sure you invite people that know how to dress and don't mind dancing close.
We're gonna have a great time.
Uncle Mike, you have my beeper number.
So if you can't get ahold of the police, call me and I'll get ahold of them.
Okay.
Take care.
Lois, you've been targeted by Intergang.
The paint bullets.
It was a warning.
To you, to Jimmy, but mostly to me.
If I try to bring them down if I even show my face in the Southside, the next bullets they fire are real.
And you are pretty visible.
I mean, it's not as if you could go undercover.
- Unless - Thank you, Lois.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I was in the neighborhood and thought we could go over some facts.
Sure, come on in.
Just let me throw a shirt on real quick.
No! I mean, that's all right because if it would make you uncomfortable because it's, you know, it's It's very warm in here.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, that's much better.
So So New item we're thinking of carrying in the stores.
The Swing King.
Guaranteed to improve your putting for 49 bucks.
Well, 39.
- Martin, what's the latest on the Southside? - All right.
My silent partners have acquired everything highlighted in green.
- The yellow areas are in negotiation.
- And that red dot there? That restaurant owner, Mike Lane.
Here's everything we've got on him.
Closest family, a niece, Lois.
Small world.
An ex-marine lieutenant trying to establish a beachhead, well If he only knew that in a year from now the city council's going to be passing legislation on offshore gambling.
And we'll have hotels casinos and restaurants.
Cash businesses to hide all the taxes I can't pay.
You think if he knew that that he'd still be trying to hold on to that little café? You think so? Do him.
Have the Skins do him.
Don't let it trail back to us.
Make it look like a gang vendetta.
Big, messy, loud.
Do him.
You're gonna make a great witness.
I appreciate that.
In my line of work, you don't see very much bravery.
I'm just telling the truth.
There's nothing too brave about that.
Well, sure, you're not flying around with a big red S on your chest bragging about what a hero you are.
You heard Superman brag? Well, no.
Not in so many words.
Look, I know that he's a friend of yours and no one can deny that he's done a lot of really good things but you're 10 times the man he is.
I mean, you're an ordinary guy.
You're getting ready to stand up to this huge criminal organization.
Takes guts.
I'd like to see Superman try that without his cape on.
Well, maybe you will.
Would? - Would you like to have lunch? - To discuss the case? No.
Yeah.
Lunch would be good.
- Okay, I'll call you.
- Okay.
Lois.
I dug a little deeper and I found something else out about Church.
- Well, come on in.
- I can't stay but you should look at this.
Mason Drake used to work under Snell for Church's acquisitions.
- What? - Why are you so upset? I'm just surprised.
Oh, no.
It's Uncle Mike.
He's in trouble.
Take care of him.
Old man's got a little kick to him, huh? Let's see what you got.
Come on, come on, come on.
You have the right to remain silent.
- Where'd he come from? - Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you.
Do you understand these rights as I have just explained them to you? Officer, that sounds like a yes.
I'm gonna go and call for - Backup? - Yeah.
Sounds like it's already on its way.
- Clark, she's dirty.
- Show me the proof.
You don't have proof on Snell and you're going after him.
That's different, Lois.
I told you, I have a source.
I'll tell you what's different.
When Snell bats his eyes, you don't get giddy.
- Oh, wait, are you jealous? - What? No, I'm not jealous.
We're friends and we're partners.
And whatever you do in your own time is - Yeah? - Whatever you do.
I don't care.
Except when it affects our job.
How is it affecting our job to say that I disagree? You have no proof that Church is the head of Intergang and no proof because Mason worked for him, she's part of Intergang.
We've gotta stay on track.
But you're not saying that.
You're saying stay away from your girlfriend.
- She is not my girlfriend.
- Whatever she is she has got you finger-wrapped and blindfolded.
You know, if anybody's blind around here, it's you.
Well, what is that supposed to mean? What did it mean? I don't even know.
It's just one of those things that sounded good at the time but once I got into the elevator, I couldn't figure out what it meant.
Freud would say, "It's a subconscious desire in search of a context.
" And Jung would dismiss it as an anger-induced synaptic anomaly.
Adult education.
It's a beautiful thing.
The real question is who is this woman, and are you interested in her? Yeah, I think so.
But that's the other weird part.
Mason likes me, or Clark, but she hates Superman.
Which is kind of confusing because Lois loves Superman, but only likes Clark.
Mason likes Clark but in a different way than Lois.
And Mason hates Superman in a way that's different from anybody.
Oh, Clark.
I've been afraid something like this was gonna happen.
What? You're beginning to talk about yourself in the third person.
It's all this pressure.
That's why I started taking the psych class, and not a moment too soon.
Martha the boy has two gorgeous women running after him.
This does not rate high on the list of world problems.
That's true, but let's not forget that Mason may be an agent of Intergang.
Well, nobody's perfect, son.
How about a piece of pie? I guess we're just gonna have to talk about this.
You seem pretty upset after that blowup with Clark.
Perry, he's letting his feelings for a woman get in the way of our story.
And? And? And it's unprofessional and And? And I don't like it.
And I don't even know why I don't like it.
Well, it sounds like to me that you're just gonna have to figure it out.
Now, Clark is a very nice man, but when you get right down to it a nice man is still just a man.
Perry Clark is my best friend.
- And I don't wanna lose him.
- Oh, honey, you're not gonna lose him.
Oh, you two may have a bump or two down the road but things are gonna work out.
You'll see.
- Hey, Clark.
- Hey, Mike.
- I'm meeting Mason here for lunch.
- Yeah, she's right over there.
I guess he's chairing the Urban Redevelopment Fund.
Mason asked him to come down here and spread a little of the wealth around.
That guy's got to be the world's nicest billionaire.
- I'll get you some menus.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I see you brought your ex-boss down.
Bill? How did you know he was my ex-boss? - Is it a secret? - No, I just don't remember mentioning it.
Lois and I have been following a series of leads.
From Baby Rage to Martin Snell.
From Snell to Intergang.
From Intergang to Bill Church.
- Wait, wait - From Bill Church You're having lunch with me to find out if I'm a part of Intergang? - No.
- To ask if my former boss is the head of Intergang? - I never said head.
- Bill Church is a friend of mine.
Martin Snell is a professional acquaintance.
And the next time you wanna interview me call my office and make an appointment.
- Mason, wait.
- I'll see you in court.
Jeez, this is just not my week.
And after you saw the defendant start the fire? Superman flew down, apprehended him and then put the fire out.
Thank you, Mr.
Kent.
No further questions.
Mr.
Snell? No questions at this time.
You're excused, Mr.
Kent.
Mr.
Snell, here are those files you requested.
Lois, I owe you an apology.
- I owe you an apology.
- I shouldn't have lost my temper.
Well, you're entitled to.
I mean, I lose mine once every what? Three, four minutes, l Anyway.
Hey, what's going on? New evidence seems to indicate the officers who arrested the defendant did not properly apprise him of his Miranda rights.
The warrant issued to search his house did not have the correct address on it.
Now, Miss Drake, your office personally issued the warrant.
- There must be some mistake.
- Well, if so, I'll grant you 24 hours to investigate this matter internally and refute the charges.
Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to declare the arrest invalid and set the defendant free.
Sorry, Mason.
Better luck next time.
It's all her.
She set it up.
She's in with Church and Snell.
How much more evidence do you need? Tonight.
What? - You go home, you call her tonight.
- Chief, don't you think it's a little late to be calling her? - You'll wake her up.
Tell her you're sorry you're calling after midnight, but all of a sudden you've got this inexplicable urge to hear her voice.
Now, she'll be half dreaming, half listening when you tell her you have tickets to this magical ball and that you'll pick her up this Saturday at 8.
Chief, does this mean I have to buy a tie? You're the best police source I have.
I need the names or the case is gonna get tossed out and my uncle Don't hang up.
Just listen to Face it, Lois, we're at a dead end.
Maybe not.
If that case gets thrown out and my office is implicated, I could get disbarred.
I wanna get to the bottom of this as much as you do but I don't know who to trust anymore.
Seems to be going around these days.
I guess if you want trust, you have to start by giving it.
This is everything my office has on Intergang.
And my personal files on Martin Snell.
I think we should do it.
If we combine what we both know, it can't possibly get any worse, can it? You have a point.
Careful.
Sounds like the bug that bit me.
Still hurts.
Nice get! I'm gonna go let it out the window.
What, all of a sudden you're a Buddhist? We broke another needle on this guy Kent.
Now I can't get the probe to fly.
- I have to go.
- Where? - You guys stay here, it won't take long.
- What won't take long? The thing that I have to do in the place that I'll be back from in just one second.
Does he do that a lot? Constantly.
That's weird.
The drone's heading this way, but I haven't called it.
So that's how your bullets always find their targets.
A genetic tag injected by needle.
What is it, radioisotope? Wait, wait, wait.
Looks like your plan's not going too well, Martin.
Now, stop bugging people.
Okay.
You wanna butt heads? Here comes the headache.
Superman, did you just save me from something? Do I wanna know what it was? No.
- I'm looking for a deal.
- Oh, really? Try Cost Mart.
Shut up and listen for once, Martin, you might actually learn something.
Well, aren't we Frosty the Snow Queen.
You got one minute.
If you bore me, I'll bill you.
Those reporters, Kent and Lane, have a deep throat in the police department.
I'm awfully sorry, counselor.
I have absolutely no knowledge of this.
You have a leak, Martin.
This deep throat of Lois Lane's is one of your guys on Intergang's payroll.
I'd say right about now, you really wanna get rid of this guy.
- I can make it happen.
- Mason.
Is the good little girl crossing over to the bad side of the street? Here's the name of your two-timing cop.
For sale.
One-time-only offer.
Ticktock, ticktock Fine.
How much? - Your Honor.
- Mr.
Snell.
- What do you pay your cops? - Five thousand a month.
A little extra here and there for special favors.
We can probably do a little better for you.
- I mean, you are a college graduate - Your plan worked? - so how about 7 thou a month? - My plan worked.
I love saying those words.
You are a college graduate, so how about seven thou a month? Your Honor, it's clear to me that the voice on that recording is that of an actor hired to impersonate me.
Really? I'd love to hear his Brando.
But for the moment, we're gonna assume that was you.
Which does not bode well for your future as an attorney.
Or a free man.
And as for the defendant, Daniel Anthony Belle, a.
k.
a.
Baby Rage you're going to trial.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- On your feet, Belle.
Come on, let's go.
- Sorry, Martin.
Better luck next time.
Uncle Mike, everybody's raving about the food.
They're all asking about your restaurant.
Yeah, well, it's pretty amazing how fast things are turning around.
No more gangs.
No more slow cops, thanks to the articles you two wrote.
I guess whoever's behind Intergang doesn't like the spotlight much.
- There goes a great guy.
- Sorry, but I don't think so.
And we're gonna prove it, partner.
Just wait.
Well, son, can I meet her? Oh, sure, chief.
Just hop a plane to Switzerland.
That's where her new boyfriend lives.
The one who cheered her up while I was ignoring her.
Jimmy you know what a man needs at a time like this? A baseball bat and an alibi? A philosophy.
See I neglected to tell you that love is most like a big casino.
Flashing lights, free drinks, Wayne Newton.
Plenty to distract a player from what's really going on.
But sometimes when you throw them big dice in casino love well, you crap out.
Sorry, son.
There's something I need to know, Bill.
I have a feeling this is going to be a professional question.
We're bringing charges against Martin Snell.
I thought I'd ask you first, off the record, if you have any business dealings with him.
And I'll answer you on the record.
No.
I never had any business with Martin.
I'm sorry, I had to ask.
Of course you did.
Now, you just run along and enjoy the party, my dear.
Excuse me, Lois, do you mind if I cut in? Of course not.
I must warn you.
I dip suddenly and I dip deeply.
I'll stay alert.
Are you two all right? We're fine.
Mason's not really so bad.
She's a little pushy, but she's obviously so desperate, who can blame her.
I think what you said is right.
No matter what happens, I'll never lose Clark.
I warned you.
Good evening, Mr.
Church.
- Absolutely convinced her.
Hello.
- I was as well.
All right.
You wanna know who the head of Intergang is? I'll tell you.
It's I just dropped in to say thank you for your advice the other night.
You're welcome officer.
My uncle's been wanting me to find out who that cop was so he could bake him a cake.
Well, tell him that I retired from the force but that I'll still keep an eye out for him.
And you.
I know.
Would you like to dance? That sounds nice.
I love this song.
Do you? I've been thinking.
I don't know that much about you.
What kind of music you like.
What your favorite color is.
I didn't even know you could dance.
This isn't dancing.
It's not? This is.
- Oh, Uncle Mike, no.
Well, maybe I could move into my gym for a month.
Oh, this is fantastic.
- He does all the baking himself.
- Lately, it's more of a hobby than a job.
I just don't understand what's happened to this neighborhood.
Well, the neighborhood's in transition.
Getting more eclectic.
- It's kind of like Saigon without the jets.
- Oh, you better get some water on that.
Dab, don't wipe.
Excuse me.
Man, you just stepped over the line, and you going down.
You're the only one going anywhere.
And I hope, for your sake, you don't mind showering in groups.
- Little punk tried to burn me out.
- You can't prove that.
You can't prove nothing because nobody saw.
- I did.
- He's part of the local gang.
- The Skins.
- I'm gonna call the police.
Get your shoes off and get comfortable.
Last time I called, it took them two hours.
Hi, I'd like to report an arson.
This is Lois Lane, l - They put me on hold.
- Lois Lane? You're Lois Lane? - Have we met? - Oh, no, we ain't met.
It's just funny because you're dead.
I mean, I know you're walking around, lady but trust me, go out and pick yourself a nice grave.
And from what I hear, pick it out fast.
Get off me, man! - I told every person here, man.
- Hey, Reilly, where's the bear claws? - These are awful.
- All that crime out there and look what we have in here: A doughnut commercial.
Excuse me.
Is one of you Clark Kent? I am.
Mason Drake, deputy DA.
I'd like to see if you're willing to testify against Baby Rage.
I'm not telling you nothing unless I see my lawyer! - Man, let me out of here! - Baby Rage? - Get off me! - I wonder why they call him that? - You must be Mike Lane.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry about what happened to your restaurant.
They're gonna have to do a lot more than that to get me to pull out.
- And you are? - Lois Lane.
- I'm the one that called the police.
- That kid also threatened Lois.
He was just trying to scare me.
Well, now it's my turn to scare him, with your help.
Whatever I saw, I will tell in court, Miss Drake.
Mason.
Call my office in the morning so we can arrange a deposition.
And if you need to reach me during off-hours my home phone's on the back.
Thank you.
Subtle.
And I'll have Superman get in touch with you.
Oh, Superman.
Right, I guess I have to talk to him, don't I? - Most people consider that an honor.
- Well, I guess I'm not most people.
- Clark, we'll talk soon? - Yeah.
Okay.
Come on.
We're gonna find out why these cops are slowing down all of a sudden.
- Bye, Uncle Mike.
- You go get them, honey.
You have that "I have a plan" look in your eyes.
We're gonna talk to my source in the commissioner's office.
If anybody can help us, he can - What? - A bug just bit me.
- It really hurts.
- You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
Good afternoon, may I have your attention, please.
Good people of Metropolis, I'm Perry White, editor of the Daily Planet.
Thank you, thank you.
And with me today is Mr.
Bill Church, who's chairman of the Cost Mart discount chain.
He's asked me to make the announcement that his company and the Daily Planet are cosponsoring a charity ball for the Urban Redevelopment Fund.
And now I think Bill has a few words to say to everybody.
Come on up here, Bill.
Thank you, Perry.
I just wanna say how glad I am to be part of this great city.
We're not just here to do business.
We're here to be part of your lives.
- Thank you.
- Boy, this is a bargain hunter's dream.
Attention, Cost Mart shoppers.
As a Jimmy, you got a girl on your mind? - How did you know? - Oh, it's just a wild guess.
So, what's the problem? Her name's Kelly.
I really like her, I think she likes me.
We've been out twice.
Third date, huh? Do I keep on that same road or do I make a U-turn? - Man, you're batting a thousand.
- Now, see, love is tricky.
You gotta think of it like a jungle river.
Exotic, treacherous, beautiful, but uncharted.
Reach up to grab a mango off a tree and you're just as likely to get your arm ripped off by a jaguar.
Now, think of me as a jungle guide.
I've been down that river many times before.
One who knows every rock and rapid and twist.
Chief, I'm a little lost.
- Are you saying I should call her or what? - What I'm saying is, trust me, Jimmy.
Trust me.
Entrance code accepted, Mr.
Church.
Attention, Cost Mart shoppers.
All those signing up for the Cost Mart Overseas operatives are online and standing by, Mr.
Church.
What's the latest on the election? The minister wants 500,000 for the endorsement.
That's a lot of money for a speech and a handshake.
What are his vulnerabilities? - A 12-year-old daughter.
- Offer him 150.
If he doesn't accept it, take a picture of his daughter walking to school.
Show it to him then offer him nothing.
Done.
How's the Metropolis franchise coming? I'll let you know.
We'll pick this up in 10 minutes.
Overseas conference call terminated.
- Hello, Martin.
- Mr.
Church.
I know.
You're upset about Baby Rage.
You see this pill? High blood pressure.
The doctor says, "Get it under control.
Less stress in your life.
Delegate.
" I am delegating.
And my blood pressure is not going down.
What were they? What were they doing setting fires in the middle of the day? - With witnesses around? - I'll be honest.
He and the Skins are a little difficult to control.
Of all the humanity on this planet, you pick them.
You make it work or cut them loose.
But don't walk in here with excuses that are going to upset my doctor.
Yes, sir.
I don't need to tell you that we're at a very crucial point in the Metropolis franchise.
We can't afford to be out in the open until Superman is taken care of.
I've got good news on that front.
The plan's just gone online.
You say go, and everything's in play.
So go already.
- Maybe he didn't get your message.
- He got it.
- Maybe he ignored it? - I didn't.
- Thanks for coming.
- You must be Kent.
So, Lois, you wanna know about the Southside? - What can you tell me? - You better be sure you wanna know.
Once you cross into this, there's no going back.
- We're sure.
- It began with Southside Precinct's budgets being cut.
Then men transferred, equipment sabotaged cops paid to look the other way.
- Why? - Think about it.
What happens when a good neighborhood goes bad? People wanna move.
Prices go down.
Whole blocks go on the market for pennies on the dollar.
- Very good.
- Who's behind all this? I wanna help.
Bad cops make a bad city.
But my neck's a little too far out on this as it is.
You gotta give me something.
See if this leads you somewhere.
Don't call me again.
By the way you didn't say if you liked my new mustache.
He wasn't kidding when he said this was big.
If these reports are true, half the major cities in the world might have been infiltrated by this organization.
The Australian press even nicknamed it.
"Intergang.
" Look what happened to the reporter.
- Fatal car accident.
- Superman? Police investigated.
- I'm contacting you - Oh, here's a shock.
- on a frequency only you - No evidence of foul play.
- and bats can hear.
- Incredible.
Europe, Asia, South America.
I don't know where you spend off-hours but if I were you, I'd be at the arboretum pond in three minutes.
Why hasn't anyone ever gone after these guys? - Or someone is going to die.
- Clark? Hello? Lois, I just remembered I have an errand to do.
I'll be right back.
Hey there.
Martin Snell.
Good to meet you.
I bet you're wondering how I made that little person-to-person.
Superman, let's talk.
- Nice little piece of equipment, huh? - Lf this is your idea of a joke you're gonna need a lawyer.
No, I won't, because A, I am a lawyer, and B, this is no joke.
I'll give you the name of the person who's gonna die.
I think you know her.
Lois Lane? I'd say she's got about 10 seconds.
Think you can get there in time? Lock on the target.
- Five.
- Target one locked.
Four.
- Three.
- Signal good.
Stand by launch.
- Two.
- Weapons free.
One.
Fire.
Go.
Targeting two.
Go.
Four seconds to impact.
Superman, what? - You all right? - What is this? Somebody's idea of a sick joke.
It's only paint.
Don't worry, they won't bother you again.
Easy.
I just wanted to get your attention so we could have a talk.
You get that look on your face.
You remind me of a few judges I know.
You gonna lift me up again? Okay.
To the chase.
Like everyone else on earth, you've got me dazzled, I'm a big fan.
So I don't want you to stop being the Man of Steel because it's a beautiful thing.
It gives us all hope.
But what my partners and I do want is for you to stay out of our business.
I don't take orders.
Fine.
Call it a suggestion.
A very strong suggestion.
Face it you got your little red shorts caught in a bad combo of high-tech and close friends.
Even you can't be in two places at once, but our bullets can.
So where does that leave us? - Let's ask the DA.
- Oh, sure, you could take me in.
You're Superman, and I'm just a guy from Paramus.
New Jersey.
But do that, and two things happen.
A, someone you care about dies, and B, my replacement steps right in.
Now, you don't want A, and I don't want B.
So I think what you need is a little attitude adjustment.
And by that I mean you be the best Superman you can be.
Street crime, wipe it out.
Terrorists, kick their butts.
Carjackers.
Hey, I drive a Ferrari.
Put those guys in orbit.
But stay out of the Southside.
I don't care if it's a cat chasing a mouse, you flash cape in that part of town you're looking at an all-expenses-paid education in bereavement.
- Are we clear? - On one thing.
This is not over.
Man of Steel, will of iron.
You gotta love it, Mr.
Church.
Thanks for the statement.
We'll be in touch.
Whatever I can do to help the DA's office Like I said, we'll be in touch.
I'd be more than willing to testify against Baby Rage.
- I don't think so.
- Have I done something to offend you? Do you have a license to chase criminals? Do you read them their rights? If you hurt someone, are you insured? Where do you live? Do you work? Who are you? I can't tell you that.
- Exactly.
- Hey, big guy.
- Mason, can I talk to you a second? - This is just not my day.
Superman, hi! Hi, Lois.
Funny, he's a lot shorter in person than you'd think.
- I don't know what your problem is - Clark, hi! Hi, sorry I'm late.
You're not late, but I'm afraid that I just got called in on a double homicide downtown.
So we're gonna have to postpone our deposition.
- Can I call you and reschedule? - Sure, yeah.
If you can spare a few seconds we'd like to talk about something else we found out.
- Let's walk.
- We have a pretty good lead on what's really happening in the Southside.
Ever heard of Intergang? Tell me what you've learned.
It seems they just acquire companies, other criminal operations, even governments.
They just swallow them whole and start running them.
Always from a distance, hidden.
You think they're funding the Skins, don't you? Yes, I do.
Our source thinks they've infiltrated the police, but won't give names.
If I can think of anything that will help you or your uncle, I will be in touch.
- Talk soon? - Yeah.
I don't know about her.
And what is her problem with Superman? Hey, reporter man.
Got a match? - Come on.
- Here we go.
Who's the greasy creep in the silk suit? Martin Snell.
A certain source of mine says that he's a lawyer for Intergang.
And now he's a lawyer for Baby Rage.
Interesting.
Hi, Kelly.
It's Jimmy.
Listen, I know we said we might do something this weekend but my boss has got me on assignment all weekend.
Yeah.
All night Friday.
Yeah, all day Saturday too.
- Sunday? A picnic? - No.
Really? No, I didn't know there were nude beaches that close by.
That sounds great but he's got me working all day Sunday too.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's killing me.
I'll call you, though, okay? Bye, Kelly.
I don't know, chief.
I don't like lying to her like that.
You're not lying.
I'm gonna work your butt off this weekend.
- Still, I - Jimmy, what makes gold so valuable? - It makes good fillings? - No, because it's rare.
You're gonna make yourself a valued commodity by making yourself rare.
Trust me, son.
Hey, look at this.
- What? - Checking public records on Martin Snell.
Five years ago, he was staff counsel for Bill Church.
- The Cost Mart guy? - Worked in corporate acquisitions.
Responsible for buying up overseas companies.
I wonder Oh, now, this is interesting.
Cross-graph what we know about the spread of Intergang with the spread of Cost Marts around the world.
Everywhere Intergang has gotten a foothold, there's a Cost Mart.
Okay, let's pull up the police files on Bill Church.
See, nothing.
Not even a parking ticket.
So he's never been caught.
Neither was Lex Luthor till the end.
Well, you may be on to something but I really think Martin Snell is the guy to nail here.
- I think we should just stay on him, okay? - Okay, kids.
Comp tickets for the charity ball.
Make sure you invite people that know how to dress and don't mind dancing close.
We're gonna have a great time.
Uncle Mike, you have my beeper number.
So if you can't get ahold of the police, call me and I'll get ahold of them.
Okay.
Take care.
Lois, you've been targeted by Intergang.
The paint bullets.
It was a warning.
To you, to Jimmy, but mostly to me.
If I try to bring them down if I even show my face in the Southside, the next bullets they fire are real.
And you are pretty visible.
I mean, it's not as if you could go undercover.
- Unless - Thank you, Lois.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I was in the neighborhood and thought we could go over some facts.
Sure, come on in.
Just let me throw a shirt on real quick.
No! I mean, that's all right because if it would make you uncomfortable because it's, you know, it's It's very warm in here.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, that's much better.
So So New item we're thinking of carrying in the stores.
The Swing King.
Guaranteed to improve your putting for 49 bucks.
Well, 39.
- Martin, what's the latest on the Southside? - All right.
My silent partners have acquired everything highlighted in green.
- The yellow areas are in negotiation.
- And that red dot there? That restaurant owner, Mike Lane.
Here's everything we've got on him.
Closest family, a niece, Lois.
Small world.
An ex-marine lieutenant trying to establish a beachhead, well If he only knew that in a year from now the city council's going to be passing legislation on offshore gambling.
And we'll have hotels casinos and restaurants.
Cash businesses to hide all the taxes I can't pay.
You think if he knew that that he'd still be trying to hold on to that little café? You think so? Do him.
Have the Skins do him.
Don't let it trail back to us.
Make it look like a gang vendetta.
Big, messy, loud.
Do him.
You're gonna make a great witness.
I appreciate that.
In my line of work, you don't see very much bravery.
I'm just telling the truth.
There's nothing too brave about that.
Well, sure, you're not flying around with a big red S on your chest bragging about what a hero you are.
You heard Superman brag? Well, no.
Not in so many words.
Look, I know that he's a friend of yours and no one can deny that he's done a lot of really good things but you're 10 times the man he is.
I mean, you're an ordinary guy.
You're getting ready to stand up to this huge criminal organization.
Takes guts.
I'd like to see Superman try that without his cape on.
Well, maybe you will.
Would? - Would you like to have lunch? - To discuss the case? No.
Yeah.
Lunch would be good.
- Okay, I'll call you.
- Okay.
Lois.
I dug a little deeper and I found something else out about Church.
- Well, come on in.
- I can't stay but you should look at this.
Mason Drake used to work under Snell for Church's acquisitions.
- What? - Why are you so upset? I'm just surprised.
Oh, no.
It's Uncle Mike.
He's in trouble.
Take care of him.
Old man's got a little kick to him, huh? Let's see what you got.
Come on, come on, come on.
You have the right to remain silent.
- Where'd he come from? - Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you.
Do you understand these rights as I have just explained them to you? Officer, that sounds like a yes.
I'm gonna go and call for - Backup? - Yeah.
Sounds like it's already on its way.
- Clark, she's dirty.
- Show me the proof.
You don't have proof on Snell and you're going after him.
That's different, Lois.
I told you, I have a source.
I'll tell you what's different.
When Snell bats his eyes, you don't get giddy.
- Oh, wait, are you jealous? - What? No, I'm not jealous.
We're friends and we're partners.
And whatever you do in your own time is - Yeah? - Whatever you do.
I don't care.
Except when it affects our job.
How is it affecting our job to say that I disagree? You have no proof that Church is the head of Intergang and no proof because Mason worked for him, she's part of Intergang.
We've gotta stay on track.
But you're not saying that.
You're saying stay away from your girlfriend.
- She is not my girlfriend.
- Whatever she is she has got you finger-wrapped and blindfolded.
You know, if anybody's blind around here, it's you.
Well, what is that supposed to mean? What did it mean? I don't even know.
It's just one of those things that sounded good at the time but once I got into the elevator, I couldn't figure out what it meant.
Freud would say, "It's a subconscious desire in search of a context.
" And Jung would dismiss it as an anger-induced synaptic anomaly.
Adult education.
It's a beautiful thing.
The real question is who is this woman, and are you interested in her? Yeah, I think so.
But that's the other weird part.
Mason likes me, or Clark, but she hates Superman.
Which is kind of confusing because Lois loves Superman, but only likes Clark.
Mason likes Clark but in a different way than Lois.
And Mason hates Superman in a way that's different from anybody.
Oh, Clark.
I've been afraid something like this was gonna happen.
What? You're beginning to talk about yourself in the third person.
It's all this pressure.
That's why I started taking the psych class, and not a moment too soon.
Martha the boy has two gorgeous women running after him.
This does not rate high on the list of world problems.
That's true, but let's not forget that Mason may be an agent of Intergang.
Well, nobody's perfect, son.
How about a piece of pie? I guess we're just gonna have to talk about this.
You seem pretty upset after that blowup with Clark.
Perry, he's letting his feelings for a woman get in the way of our story.
And? And? And it's unprofessional and And? And I don't like it.
And I don't even know why I don't like it.
Well, it sounds like to me that you're just gonna have to figure it out.
Now, Clark is a very nice man, but when you get right down to it a nice man is still just a man.
Perry Clark is my best friend.
- And I don't wanna lose him.
- Oh, honey, you're not gonna lose him.
Oh, you two may have a bump or two down the road but things are gonna work out.
You'll see.
- Hey, Clark.
- Hey, Mike.
- I'm meeting Mason here for lunch.
- Yeah, she's right over there.
I guess he's chairing the Urban Redevelopment Fund.
Mason asked him to come down here and spread a little of the wealth around.
That guy's got to be the world's nicest billionaire.
- I'll get you some menus.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I see you brought your ex-boss down.
Bill? How did you know he was my ex-boss? - Is it a secret? - No, I just don't remember mentioning it.
Lois and I have been following a series of leads.
From Baby Rage to Martin Snell.
From Snell to Intergang.
From Intergang to Bill Church.
- Wait, wait - From Bill Church You're having lunch with me to find out if I'm a part of Intergang? - No.
- To ask if my former boss is the head of Intergang? - I never said head.
- Bill Church is a friend of mine.
Martin Snell is a professional acquaintance.
And the next time you wanna interview me call my office and make an appointment.
- Mason, wait.
- I'll see you in court.
Jeez, this is just not my week.
And after you saw the defendant start the fire? Superman flew down, apprehended him and then put the fire out.
Thank you, Mr.
Kent.
No further questions.
Mr.
Snell? No questions at this time.
You're excused, Mr.
Kent.
Mr.
Snell, here are those files you requested.
Lois, I owe you an apology.
- I owe you an apology.
- I shouldn't have lost my temper.
Well, you're entitled to.
I mean, I lose mine once every what? Three, four minutes, l Anyway.
Hey, what's going on? New evidence seems to indicate the officers who arrested the defendant did not properly apprise him of his Miranda rights.
The warrant issued to search his house did not have the correct address on it.
Now, Miss Drake, your office personally issued the warrant.
- There must be some mistake.
- Well, if so, I'll grant you 24 hours to investigate this matter internally and refute the charges.
Otherwise, I'll have no choice but to declare the arrest invalid and set the defendant free.
Sorry, Mason.
Better luck next time.
It's all her.
She set it up.
She's in with Church and Snell.
How much more evidence do you need? Tonight.
What? - You go home, you call her tonight.
- Chief, don't you think it's a little late to be calling her? - You'll wake her up.
Tell her you're sorry you're calling after midnight, but all of a sudden you've got this inexplicable urge to hear her voice.
Now, she'll be half dreaming, half listening when you tell her you have tickets to this magical ball and that you'll pick her up this Saturday at 8.
Chief, does this mean I have to buy a tie? You're the best police source I have.
I need the names or the case is gonna get tossed out and my uncle Don't hang up.
Just listen to Face it, Lois, we're at a dead end.
Maybe not.
If that case gets thrown out and my office is implicated, I could get disbarred.
I wanna get to the bottom of this as much as you do but I don't know who to trust anymore.
Seems to be going around these days.
I guess if you want trust, you have to start by giving it.
This is everything my office has on Intergang.
And my personal files on Martin Snell.
I think we should do it.
If we combine what we both know, it can't possibly get any worse, can it? You have a point.
Careful.
Sounds like the bug that bit me.
Still hurts.
Nice get! I'm gonna go let it out the window.
What, all of a sudden you're a Buddhist? We broke another needle on this guy Kent.
Now I can't get the probe to fly.
- I have to go.
- Where? - You guys stay here, it won't take long.
- What won't take long? The thing that I have to do in the place that I'll be back from in just one second.
Does he do that a lot? Constantly.
That's weird.
The drone's heading this way, but I haven't called it.
So that's how your bullets always find their targets.
A genetic tag injected by needle.
What is it, radioisotope? Wait, wait, wait.
Looks like your plan's not going too well, Martin.
Now, stop bugging people.
Okay.
You wanna butt heads? Here comes the headache.
Superman, did you just save me from something? Do I wanna know what it was? No.
- I'm looking for a deal.
- Oh, really? Try Cost Mart.
Shut up and listen for once, Martin, you might actually learn something.
Well, aren't we Frosty the Snow Queen.
You got one minute.
If you bore me, I'll bill you.
Those reporters, Kent and Lane, have a deep throat in the police department.
I'm awfully sorry, counselor.
I have absolutely no knowledge of this.
You have a leak, Martin.
This deep throat of Lois Lane's is one of your guys on Intergang's payroll.
I'd say right about now, you really wanna get rid of this guy.
- I can make it happen.
- Mason.
Is the good little girl crossing over to the bad side of the street? Here's the name of your two-timing cop.
For sale.
One-time-only offer.
Ticktock, ticktock Fine.
How much? - Your Honor.
- Mr.
Snell.
- What do you pay your cops? - Five thousand a month.
A little extra here and there for special favors.
We can probably do a little better for you.
- I mean, you are a college graduate - Your plan worked? - so how about 7 thou a month? - My plan worked.
I love saying those words.
You are a college graduate, so how about seven thou a month? Your Honor, it's clear to me that the voice on that recording is that of an actor hired to impersonate me.
Really? I'd love to hear his Brando.
But for the moment, we're gonna assume that was you.
Which does not bode well for your future as an attorney.
Or a free man.
And as for the defendant, Daniel Anthony Belle, a.
k.
a.
Baby Rage you're going to trial.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- On your feet, Belle.
Come on, let's go.
- Sorry, Martin.
Better luck next time.
Uncle Mike, everybody's raving about the food.
They're all asking about your restaurant.
Yeah, well, it's pretty amazing how fast things are turning around.
No more gangs.
No more slow cops, thanks to the articles you two wrote.
I guess whoever's behind Intergang doesn't like the spotlight much.
- There goes a great guy.
- Sorry, but I don't think so.
And we're gonna prove it, partner.
Just wait.
Well, son, can I meet her? Oh, sure, chief.
Just hop a plane to Switzerland.
That's where her new boyfriend lives.
The one who cheered her up while I was ignoring her.
Jimmy you know what a man needs at a time like this? A baseball bat and an alibi? A philosophy.
See I neglected to tell you that love is most like a big casino.
Flashing lights, free drinks, Wayne Newton.
Plenty to distract a player from what's really going on.
But sometimes when you throw them big dice in casino love well, you crap out.
Sorry, son.
There's something I need to know, Bill.
I have a feeling this is going to be a professional question.
We're bringing charges against Martin Snell.
I thought I'd ask you first, off the record, if you have any business dealings with him.
And I'll answer you on the record.
No.
I never had any business with Martin.
I'm sorry, I had to ask.
Of course you did.
Now, you just run along and enjoy the party, my dear.
Excuse me, Lois, do you mind if I cut in? Of course not.
I must warn you.
I dip suddenly and I dip deeply.
I'll stay alert.
Are you two all right? We're fine.
Mason's not really so bad.
She's a little pushy, but she's obviously so desperate, who can blame her.
I think what you said is right.
No matter what happens, I'll never lose Clark.
I warned you.
Good evening, Mr.
Church.
- Absolutely convinced her.
Hello.
- I was as well.
All right.
You wanna know who the head of Intergang is? I'll tell you.
It's I just dropped in to say thank you for your advice the other night.
You're welcome officer.
My uncle's been wanting me to find out who that cop was so he could bake him a cake.
Well, tell him that I retired from the force but that I'll still keep an eye out for him.
And you.
I know.
Would you like to dance? That sounds nice.
I love this song.
Do you? I've been thinking.
I don't know that much about you.
What kind of music you like.
What your favorite color is.
I didn't even know you could dance.
This isn't dancing.
It's not? This is.