Lost Girl (2010) s02e05 Episode Script

What?! Goosebump alert! How did you know we were gonna ask you something? Yeah, we didn't say a word.
You two never shut up.
So either you're scheming or it's my lucky day.
Thing is, I'm not that lucky.
So? What? We have a case.
Yes-- Missing husband.
At first, we thought he ducked out on his wife-- And then-- We found this.
Yes, we need you to put your sniffer into hyper-drive and help us with an ID.
Please? It's blood, right? What am I? A German Shepherd? Oh my god-- Guys, this just in! You're a policeman who's also his own police dog! How did I not see this before?! Seriously, dude-- Goodbye! Come on, Dyson! Help us! Please? Please, please, please, please! Please! Yes, it's blood.
Well, I know it's blood.
But is it his or hers? It's cow blood, ladies.
Enjoy.
O-M-G, case closed.
He ran off with the butcher's wife.
He totally ran off with the butcher's wife.
Oh come on, Dyson, you're not mad are you? UGH!!! Ahhhhhh! Hey, hey! Bo! Shut it off! Hey! We're friends, babe! Are you kidding me?! Dyson, what the hell? It's a pack thing, babe.
Oh my God-- Good to see you, man-- Life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years.
Searching while hiding.
Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
And the bear says: "you didn't really come here to hunt, did ya?" Pleasure to meet ya-- Cayden-- Nice to meet you, Cayden.
Okay, check it-- His name is Cayden.
Uh huh-- And that's pretty much all I got.
Three walk-bys and all we got is a name? Way to go Mata Hari.
Come on! Oh, you want to do it?! Huh, huh?? Be the ref, be the ref-- You guys ready? This is mine-- Come on, come on-- Oh, you've lost! You've los Really-- So that is normal male behaviour? Oh yeah.
Celebrating a bestie's physical triumph is like a girly squeal over a seventy percent off sale at a shoe store.
Or in your case, the anything-you-can- unsheath store.
It's like saying, "Way to go, BFF.
You done good.
" But if that's his BFF, how come we've never heard of him before? It is a riddle cloaked in a mystery wrapped in layers of hot, hot manliness.
UHHHHHHHHH! And that would mean? Uh-- It's either something vaguely bi-curious or they're just hungry.
Either way, I'm just glad they're not sniffing each others' butts.
And on that note-- No, Trick, wait-- Who's Dyson's mysterious friend we've never heard of? Yeah, dude, what's the deal with Benicio Del Lobo? Dyson and Cayden once ran with a pack of shifters.
So they go way back? What are we talking? Like, ten, fifteen-- Like a few hundred years.
Oh-- So I guess they're not reminiscing about the big game in high school.
They were a little busy crushing the enemy of their King into bloody sacks of meat-- So actually-- That's exactly what they could be talking about.
Ahhhhhhhh! For a hundred years they belonged to a pack of wolves.
Mercenary warriors from all over bound to the Fae King of Ailech.
They were called the Laignach Faelad.
They were feared.
Ugh! So you're saying Dyson was a pack-matey, liege-serving warrior dude? Until he severed his allegiance to the King.
After that he left the pack and Ailech forever.
Not really the same lone wolf we know today.
So what happened? What happens in the pack, stays in the pack.
I can feel it.
The thing about wolves is that they typically serve their King until his death.
So either Cayden severed his ties too or-- The King? He's been dead a few months now.
Good.
Were you with him 'til the end? Yeah-- The things we saw.
Ran with the Fenians back in the 1860s.
Then made a killing selling surplus weapons from World War I.
Yeah, what was his most recent business? War.
Always war.
Started a little company back in the 90s called Majesty.
The mercenaries? What are they worth? What-- Billions.
Me and the boys made some cash.
Spent most of it on booze and women.
The rest we wasted.
You were missed, though-- How are the lads? Ah, they're good.
Some stayed on at Majesty.
Others went looking for a new liege.
And they'd laugh their arses off if they hear ya speaking all North American.
Well I can still talk the talk.
Oh yeah? Let's hear it.
And you? Are you looking for a new King now? No.
Freelance.
You can make a good chunk of change pulling in mercenary jobs for international security companies.
And Ciara? Ciara? This is gonna hurt a bit, but-- You're man enough to take it.
She's dead, mate.
When? After the King croaked, she, uh-- Went on a little road trip with a grenade.
There wasn't much left to bury.
No, man, that's not Ciara.
She wouldn't have done that.
Well-- You're a little biased, aren't you, friend? Down in the valley was a sweet little lassy Whose eyes shone all glassy As she walked so sassy-- Dyson-- This is deep.
You should have come to me immediately.
There were others hurt worse than I.
Hey-- Get a hay loft-- Best be careful there, Dyson-- She's the wife of my best mate.
I watched Stefan grow up, become a warrior-- We fought side by side, Cayden.
He's like a brother to me.
What is it? The King requests an audience.
What? Now? Hello? What? Wha-- Slow down! Who is it? Lauren.
Ok-- Stay where you are! Don't move.
She's at the clubhouse.
She's in trouble.
Come on.
We're up.
Thanks, Trickster.
So starting tomorrow, unless we're working, all humans are to be locked in their living quarters.
Compliments of The new Ash.
Well I mean, here you are.
Running amok.
I mean-- What an Ash-hole.
I kinda panicked when I found out.
I just ran! While I still could.
I didn't know where else to go, I'm sorry-- Don't be! We'll fix this! He can't treat you this way! Yeah, he can! The old Ash was more lenient than most.
Rules were bent.
But this new one-- He's not so bendy.
Right-- Bo! Please tell me you're just blowing off steam.
First I'm going to give The Ash a piece of my mind.
Then possibly a piece of my fist.
You can't! Lachlan has no idea I'm here.
I don't know what he'll do to us if he finds out! I don't care.
You stay here as long as you need-- I'd be putting you in too much danger.
Both of you.
Besides, Bo, I don't want to complicate things-- Oh.
Yeah.
But-- No.
You think of this as a safe haven.
Gee, I wonder what could possibly go wrong.
Come on! Only two things make a man travel this far-- Women and money.
So which is it? If only I were chasing tail, my friend-- I'm lookin' for a weapon.
Stolen two weeks ago.
I'm an armament contractor for Light Fae.
What kind of weapon? The kind that goes boom.
Ah-- I'm talking a WMD that makes military grade warheads look like lasertag.
And I need your help finding it.
Why me? Because it's in your backyard.
Came in on a ship, day before last.
The docks.
That's Dark Fae territory.
There's a lot of places down there I can't enter.
So you can't help me then.
I can't.
But I know someone-- If you're lookin' for a booty call, then you're banging down the wrong door.
That's too bad, darlin'.
Hate to see a good banging go to waste.
You need to put a leash on that one.
Actually, what I need is a, uh-- Solid.
Sorry, we're interrupting obviously-- Maybe it's me who's in the way.
So-- How do you all know each other? Sorry, love-- A Mongolian Death Worm? Extremely rare.
Extremely dangerous.
I'm guessing its powers aren't moving real slow and then baking on the sidewalk in the sun? I've read about these in a text on matter transmutation.
I believe it produces an electrical force that liquefies just about anything.
Brutal regime in North Africa's already been tryin' to get at it.
That's great-- The worst of the Fae criminals are gonna be after it too.
If it's still in the city.
It's probably gone all black market by now.
Wait, there's a Fae black market? Somebody has GOT to get me a Cherry Coke! What? They're like really hard to find.
If it is still in the city, there's a good chance it's at an arms dealer we've been watching, down on the docks.
That's Dark Fae territory.
Yes it is.
However-- Oh of course- Send in the succubus.
What-- So wait, I'm supposed to waltz right into an arms dealer's joint and say-- How much for this cute little fellow? Don't! It's a Keukegen! Right.
A Keukegen.
Don't want to unleash that action.
Without a gas mask, it would be deadly.
Of course, if your knowledge of Fae weaponry was comprehensive you'd know that.
Wouldn't you? Busted.
Explain yourself.
You got twenty seconds.
I work independently.
Neither Dark nor Light.
Things are sticky in the middle so I thought I should arm-up a little.
You're not that rogue Succubus I've heard so much about are you? Double busted.
What exactly are you looking for? A new toy has been rumoured to have hit the shores a few days ago.
A certain Mongolian weapon of the worm variety.
Yes, well-- That would be a specialty item.
Specialty item, huh? Mmmhmm.
We shouldn't have sent her in there alone.
Come on-- Chill out, man.
Bo is tough, she can handle herself but I don't know this guy-- Well maybe we should just dry gulch the guy, huh? Like the time we set up the ambush on the road to Donegal.
Come on-- She could get hurt.
Or worse.
You're gonna get yourself killed! The King has a battle plan which will secure the Northern and Western territories.
I'm delivering at his behest-- Aye! Across enemy lines I cannot let you go alone.
I'm comin' with ya-- No.
The command is clear.
Why?? Why you?? Why alone?! It is the edict of our King.
We live and die by his inclinations.
Or his stupidity.
Dyson-- I know you think I'm headstrong and you've always been there for me.
But this is about something greater than us.
Lest you forget, dying for the King is a great honour.
I cannot let you go! I've accepted my fate, friend.
Nothing can change that.
One thing might-- Who are you to approach the Norn? I am no one.
But I come to ask you to intervene, save the life of a good man in mortal danger.
Stefan O'Breen.
A life? That is the most difficult thing that can be granted.
Yet it can be done.
Yes-- But there is a price.
Name it.
The price is your wolf.
My wolf? It's all I am! Then will you give all that you are to save the life of your friend? Ahhhhhhhhhh! Very few people know about the Mongolian Death Worm.
So how do you? You don't really need to know that.
do you, Mr.
Cumberbatch? Well, one can never be too certain.
Uh-uh-- Sweetheart, stay there-- I happen to be a happily married man.
Is ts s your idea of hospitality? You suck at it.
What you didn't think I'd have a security system? To be honest, this isn't all that impressive.
I mean what happens now? I get crushed by plushies? Oh, Fae power plushies are so 2007.
Plus, I've got this new toy I've been dying to play with-- It's so much fun-- And it's only gonna hurt you for a minute-- Ugh! Oh, look-- I got an ouchie! Ahhhhhhhhh! Why don't we just go in and get her? It's a Dark Fae place of business.
There's rules here, Cayden-- Rules, rules-- Rules are for suckers.
What the hell is in that dart?! I'm not quite sure.
I got a surprise bag of weapons I bought, and you never know what you're gonna get with one of those.
But tell me, on a scale from one to excruciating, how's the pain? I can handle it! You know, I really do think that this little play date has come to an end.
I wonder what I can get for a dead succubus.
Now that's something you're never gonna find out.
GRRRRRR! Ahhhhhhh! Hey! Him! No! I'll make you a deal! You find the death worm and I'll give you double what anybody else was looking to pay!!! Ugh! You tried to dark gun my brain and then you want to cut a deal?! Business is business.
Ugh! Cayden, be a dear and knock the business out of this jackhole.
Ugh-- With pleasure-- Ahhhhhhh! You ok? That jerkoff killed my hand-- You're hurt.
You're perceptive.
Did you get anything on the Death Worm? The guy knows something but wouldn't talk.
I swiped this, though-- Make yourself useful and find something on it.
You need to heal-- I'm good.
The hell you are! I mean, I don't need your help.
You're not the only wolf in town you know.
Shotgun-- You're not stopping, are you? I don't usually go all the way.
I might hurt you.
I'm a big bad wolf-- You can round all my bases.
Amazing! They haven't cooled yet-- Oh-- You're not mad, are you? It's alright, Bo.
You had to heal.
It's who you are.
They haven't-- Mmmmm-- Doctor make these? Tastier than my mum's.
It's the C-O-2 bubbles-- It gives the dough its light, airy texture.
You add just the right amount of baking powder and then ensure the fat content to retain the gas bubbles.
And then throw in the eggs as a binding element-- Wow.
She just totally took the fun out of yummy.
Miss the lab much? Maybe it was too rash running away like that.
I mean, if I return now and apologize maybe the Ash's punishment will be lenient.
No, I've met the guy.
Lenient would be an akle bracelet of razors.
Besides, if you go back now with your tail between your legs Lachlan will have more power over you than ever before.
You're safe here.
Yes, bitches! Ugh! My genius hacker bud in Vienna totally came through.
We're in-- Oh, oh! Yes! According to this email sent yesterday, Death Worm is gonna be auctioned off tonight.
That's a very elite group of invitees.
It'll be hard for us to blend in.
Not necessarily.
Bo and I could totally pull off the infamous Romanian Cantacuzino sisters.
I'm not gonna let you go there alone this time.
That almost sounded like an order.
What he means is, we can't just sit here and do nothing.
Last minute save by Cayden and the crowd goeswildwildwild.
You guys will do something.
Dangerous hotties such as ourselves are obviously going to need muscle.
And man-candy.
Lots and lots of man-candy.
Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to this fine event.
If you please gather 'round.
The auction is about to begin.
Cayden's in position.
He's got the back covered.
How many of those have you had? Lots.
And without further ado, please allow me to introduce you to one of the world's rarest and most dangerous weapons.
Thank you-- The formidable Mongolian Death Worm! Everyone Meet Velma.
That's the feared Mongolian Death Worm? What's she gonna do, gum us to death? Anybody got a light? Velma is a three thousand year old Mongolian Death Worm who's destructive powers can outmatch any human made missiles.
When you think about it, it's actually brilliant packaging.
I mean who's gonna suspect a little old lady? You've never battled one at a 50% off sale.
She's well known for her part in the Greco-Persian Wars, and was the inspiration behind the Archemedes Death Ray.
Though once difficult to control, Velma's mind has weakened over the years, making her now an extremely user-friendly weapon.
Come on! Give it a spin! Outbursts like this are merely a touch of dementia and will not affect the efficiency of the product.
If I could draw your attention to Velma's portable television set.
It is her most treasured possession.
It is also her activation key.
If you take it from her, you will incite rage.
Hey.
Now it's important to note that whoever holds the activation key controls Velma.
Further, the holder of the television will never be targeted by Velma.
Gimmie back my TV! Now Velma, I will give the television back to you if you be good and obliterate-- --that big bad truck.
Yeah! Deactivating Velma is simple.
Just give her back the television.
Never, ever misplace the television.
I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified.
I'm going with terrified.
Now without further ado.
Let the bidding begin.
We're gonna start it at twenty million dollars.
Right now, twenty million, twenty million.
Twenty-five.
Do I hear twenty-five?.
Tweny-five right there.
Thirty? Do I have thirty? Right there thirty.
Forty! Forty million! Do I hear fifty? Fifty right there! Seventy-five! We have seventy-five million! Ninety? Ninety million dollars! Where's the hundred? One hundred million dollars.
Right there that's you! Who's one twenty?.
We have one hundred and twenty million on the table.
Going once.
Going twice.
One hundred and fifty million dollars! One hundred and fifty million dollars, one fifty right here.
If you mess this up for us there's a good chance you'll leave here in a bucket.
Sorry.
Auction fever.
A lady in the front, one hundred and fifty! One hundred and fifty five.
One hundred and fifty five million dollars right here.
Going once, going twice.
Sold! One hundred and fifty five million dollars! Put your hands together.
Congratulations ma'am! Well done.
Good job.
Yeah, now all we gotta do now is not pay for the Death Worm, kidnap killer Grandma and get the hell out of here without getting liquefied.
No biggie.
Hi.
I'm-- No names.
You give me the I give you Velma.
Simple.
Hush up, children.
I'm watching my stories.
I take cash, gold, jewels or bank transfer.
How about none of the above.
In the name of The Ash, I confiscate this weapon.
I don't think so.
Boys Hey! Let's go, move! Hello Brikim, old buddy, old pal.
Cayden.
Damn.
Look, I can explain.
What's going on? You two know each other? We go way back dont we? We stole the weapon together, then we transported the weapon together, and we were going to sell the weapon together.
Only you reneged on that last part didn't you, partner? Cayden, you lying bastard.
Now listen, you need to forget about this.
Go back to our Nah, I think I'll finish this gig solo.
Thanks, buddy.
I couldn't've done it without you.
You really don't wanna mess with this.
Do you? Give me back my TV! Velma! Let's go.
Watch out.
What happened? Where's the laser- Granny? Where's Cayden? He's gone.
Cayden took Velma.
Turns out he was nothing but a wolf in wolf's clothing.
How did we not see this coming? Because big whoopsies are only 20/20 in hindsight? So Cayden and that Brikim dude stole the Death Worm to begin with.
Well, they were obviously in it together until Brikim snatched the weapon for himself.
He almost pulled it off with that quickie auction of his.
I'm sorry I got you guys involved in this.
I trusted him I didn't think he'd betray me.
Yo.
D? This isn't the time to hit the snooze button.
We got us a formidable fogey to find- Dyson, do you have any idea where he might've taken Velma? No.
Maybe he sold her to Ms.
Money Bags? Huh? She was pretty loose with the old chequebook.
Or Cayden cut a deal with Cumberbatch.
I don't think so, he lost interest in the auction early.
Exactly Velma! Pudding.
This is butterscotch.
I wanted vanilla.
Butterscotch, vanilla, what's the difference? Genius plan stealing Velma from the interlopers.
Mind you I didn't know there was going to be bloodshed.
Every battle has its casualties.
Yes of course.
I don't like butterscotch, I like vanilla.
Velma! Looks like we have a deal.
Don't worry about the old girl, I'll take good care of her.
About that, I couldn't care less.
Hey! Wait! You're Light Fae.
You don't belong here.
There are rules.
Rules are for suckers.
Where's that damn TV set Hale, do you see it? What am I, the TV Whisperer? You ain't the only one with skills.
I said I wanted vanilla! No, no.
Velma.
No please.
Velma no! Don't come this way! The TV's right there! Okay.
Okay Velma just stay calm okay? Here we go.
There you go.
Cayden's gone.
He's bleeding.
You okay? The boys may have retreated permanently.
Other than that I'm fine.
Velma! Stefan! Stefan! Stefan.
Ambush.
Too many.
Tell the King I tried.
You'll tell him yourself.
Take care of Ciara No! He will receive a burial befitting his bravery.
Where is Ciara? The King came for her.
She'll be made his Queen in the morn.
The King sent Stefan to his death so he could claim Ciara for his own? Aye.
Where are you going? To shed the King's blood as he shed Stefan's.
You would fight me on this? You know we would.
We serve the King and no one else.
I won't fight my brothers.
But I can serve this King no more.
Should really get that looked at.
Yeah.
You got me good there buddy.
Can you heal him Bo? I can only breathe sexual chi into someone.
This is beyond me.
It's too late, man.
I'm gonna get you a doctor.
I'm not Stefan.
Saving me won't bring him back.
I shouldn't have used my wolf on you.
All's fair in war and war, isn't that right? You're not getting all "honourable" on me now? Honour's for the weak.
You were right all those years ago.
To strike out on your own.
No mate, we're wolves.
Meant to travel in packs.
The solitary life worked for you.
It just took me a while to find a new pack.
We almost got away.
We? Who are you talking about? She would have loved me.
Eventually.
Dyson.
You're going to want to see this.
Ciara?! God Ciara! It's okay.
Dyson! Bo, your knife.
All these centuries I never thought I'd see you again.
Cayden told me you killed yourself after the King died.
At some point -- he decided he loved me.
And more, that I should love him back.
Did he hurt you? No I'm fine.
You saved me.
Technically I think I saved you.
I mean I found you.
I mean, I'm Bo.
Yes -- Bo, this is Ciara.
It's a pleasure, Bo.
And thank you.
So you and Dyson go way back? I trained his pack in the art of war.
Are you a shifter? No.
Do you mind? My father was Fairy and my mother Scuffock.
She passed her warrior training skills on to me.
I'm a Succubus.
He's gone.
Let him go then.
He's a changed man.
A life of war made him hard.
If nothing else, he brought us into each other's lives again.
Yes.
He did do that.
Velma, please! No! As I was saying, Velma is a sweet old Death Worm who needs a home.
And you had doubts about our little consulting arrangement.
Look at us, you and me, consulting, together.
Over there.
And be careful.
I didn't do this because of any "arrangement".
Well send me the invoice anyway.
As for the worm, I'll take care of it.
Her.
Pardon? She's not a thing.
She's awell, she's alive anyway.
And she deserves some kindness and respect.
Like all living things.
Ha, you fell.
You're wet.
Interesting idea.
Be kind to the things.
And if I do extend this kindness and respect, what do I get back in return? You'll be making her friends very happy.
Are you her friend? Yes.
I see.
Well if it will make you happy, Bo, then I will do my best to take care of her.
I think the words you're looking for are "thank you.
" Yeah.
Thanks.
I hate commercials.
By the way, how is Lauren? I don't know.
Haven't spoken to her in days.
Of course you haven't.
Come along, my dear.
Let's get you settled.
Leave the pen.
Bye dear.
I'm not taking your bed.
The floor is fine for me.
I'm not letting you sleep on the floor.
For heaven's sake, Dyson, we used to sleep on dirt.
Only out of necessity.
Let me take care of you the way you took care of us.
All those years ago.
So much has changed.
Here we are.
I think I always wanted to do that.
I can't.
You can't betray a ghost, Dyson.
Goodnight then.
Oh God these are so good.
I can make more.
More? Yeah, more.
Good.
Bo, buddy, platonic love of my life.
Auren-lay's ot-nay aying-stay, is she? She already messed up the kitchen.
I don't want her messing up the couch.
She won't.
Because I am taking the couch.
Lauren's taking my bed.
No no no no.
I couldn't put you out.
Aaaand on that "oh puh-leeze" factor of ten I'm out, goodnight! I'll take the couch.
You've just been through a lot with The Ash.
I know you took an oath to look after people medically and all, but you need to let someone else take care of you for once.
So goodnight.
Right.
Goodnight.