Lost In Space (1965) s02e05 Episode Script
Space Circus
[ Man Narrating .]
Last week, as you recall we left Will, Penny, Dr.
Smith and the Robot on a scientific expedition.
None were aware that within moments they were to encounter the most incredible assortment of alien creatures ever assembled on one planet.
- What's your reading? - Quartz conglomerate.
Cobalt magnesium .
005 percent.
That's not very good.
Don says it has to be one percent at least, or it won't work.
He would've done much better to listen to me.
There is absolutely no cobalt magnesium in these rocks.
Dr.
Smith, we have to find some.
Unless we can get the purifier to work on the plants our food supply won't last a week.
[ Gasps .]
Oh.
Zachary Smith has never been one to slacken when the welfare of the group is at stake.
- [ Gasps .]
Oh! - Dr.
Smith, is something wrong? I'm afraid it's the old trouble, my dear-- my eyes.
It's what comes of not listening to one's doctor, I suppose.
For years, he warned me to avoid overworking.
"Try to suppress your desire for continuous endeavor" he always told me, "especially at midday.
" Well, let's push on, shall we? Oh, dear.
There's no point to that, Dr.
Smith.
You rest here.
We can cover the rest of the area.
- No, no.
I wouldn't think of it.
- We'll sing out if we find anything.
An alert mind might be of great value at the proper moment.
I'll just rest for a bit here.
Would you help me, my dears? My back is extremely delicate today.
Yes, careful.
Careful.
Careful.
Yes, yes.
Ah.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Ah! Yes.
Thank you so much.
I shall be here available in the event of any emergency, however slight.
- Don't hesitate to call me.
- Yes, sir.
Come on.
We'll try that vein over there.
And don't worry about me.
I shall be perfectly all right.
[ Sighs .]
Go along with the children.
They are your intellectual equal.
[ Sighs .]
Ah, lovely.
Nice.
- Oh, go away, you silly goose.
- [ Growling .]
Help! Somebody help me! [ Whimpering .]
What's the matter? Dr.
Smith! Don't let him get me! Shoot him down! - Blast who down? - [ Gasping .]
Oh, dear.
I thought I saw a monster-- a horrible, ugly creature.
Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to call out and scare him away.
Warning! Warning! Warning! Alien approaching! What? Where? Where? Where? [ Screaming .]
Oh, dear! Oh! Well, don't just stand there! Do something! [ Robot .]
Warning! Warning! Visibility: zero! All aircraft are hereby grounded! - Silence, you chattering magpie! - That was just a harmless smoke deterrent useful in holding off small dogs and renegade robots.
Permit me to introduce myself.
I am Dr.
Andreas Marvello, professor extraordinaire galactic entrepreneur, and bringer of joy - to the crowned heads of the universe.
- How do you do? I'm sorry, sir, to have given you such fright.
You didn't frighten him, sir.
He saw a monster.
Correction.
He said he thought he saw a monster.
- Oh, indeed he did see a monster.
- Ha! That was the cosmic monster, one of the wonders of the universe.
The fiercest specimen from Supernova 12.
- Good heavens! - But you need have no more fear of the monster.
He has been recaptured.
He is back in his cage.
- Oh.
- Why do you keep him, sir? I'd be delighted to tell you, Mr.
, uh-- Robinson.
Will Robinson.
And this is my sister Penny.
How do you do, my dear? - Hello.
- This is Dr.
Smith and our Robot.
How do you do, Dr.
Smith? My dear sir, I am Dr.
Smith.
- That is the Robot.
- Oh! I must say, I am delighted to meet you all.
I was beginning to think that this planet must surely be deserted.
And in my business, that would be catastrophic.
Just what is your business, sir, if you don't mind my asking? Come along with me and I'll show you.
I was programmed to return you to the Jupiter within four hours.
The time is almost up.
You may return and inform the others we shall be along presently.
Go.
- Very well.
- This way, please.
Well, here we are.
- Marvello's Extravaganza! - [ Growling .]
The greatest show in space! I take it, Dr.
Marvello that you do a great deal of moving about in the galaxy.
You are correct, sir.
And in your wanderings, have you, by any chance ever visited a rather small planet called Earth? No, I'm afraid not.
We've always made it a point to avoid the lesser places.
[ Straining .]
Vicho-- the strongest man in any universe.
Holder of the Taurus award for courage who in our show defies death by wrestling - with the unconquerable cosmic monster.
- [ Growling .]
And this, ladies and gentlemen is the cosmic monster.
- [ Roaring .]
- Over here, we have Nubu juggler of cosmic forces which would destroy any other creature.
- Don't get too close.
- I do believe, Dr.
Marvello - that you're missing a perfectly wonderful opportunity.
- Oh? Yes, by overlooking Earth as a possible booking for your troupe.
After all, the most enriching things very often come in the smallest packages, do they not? - [ Beeping .]
- Possibly.
Nubu turn down your generator.
We don't wish to incinerate this fine planet.
Could he really incinerate the planet with his machine? Of course.
That's what makes his act so spectacular-- that element of danger, the possibility of complete destruction.
[ Woman .]
Marvello, I wanna talk to you.
Uh, we have company, my dear.
I seem to have misplaced my jewels, Dr.
Marvello.
Oh, I'm sure they'll turn up someplace.
I was just about to tell our guests about you, my dear.
This is Fenestra, clairvoyant supreme mistress of the lost arts of psychokinetology and extrasensory materialization.
If she can do all that, how come she can't find her jewels? Good thinking, my little man.
You are as bright as a penny.
We shall have to make a deeper study of that one day.
Now, what was it you wanted, my dear? I want to talk to you alone.
Directly, my dear.
A delightful creature.
Yes.
It's fortunate that you children happened along when you did.
I was just about to advertise for someone to participate in a grand adventure.
And up you popped, just like that.
I call it providential.
What would you like us to do, sir? We would help you in any way that we could.
Just pass along these handbills in the nearest town.
Let the people know that Marvello is here for their edification, enlightenment and entertainment.
Um, there isn't any town, Dr.
Marvello.
- Village? - [ Will .]
No, sir.
Hamlet? There are only the seven of us on the Jupiter 2.
- Seven? - Yes, sir.
Well, no true showman is ever intimidated by the smallness of his audience.
After all, it's communication that counts.
Then you'll put on a show for us right here? Of course.
This very night you will be amazed, amused and I hope confounded by things you've never seen before and will never see again.
Following which, we will honor you by sharing your generous hospitality and, uh, taking dinner with you.
Uh, maybe we'd better ask our parents about that.
Of course.
I understand perfectly.
Are you coming, Dr.
Smith? Uh, presently, my dear boy.
I have some matters to discuss with Dr.
Marvello.
Come on! - Wonderful children.
- Yes, they are.
It occurs to me, Dr.
Marvello that we might be able to do a little business together, you and I - for our mutual benefit.
- Oh? It so happens that either by accident or providence, as you call it you have come upon a theatrical act that will make you a very rich man.
- An act? - One of the finest entertainers to be found anywhere-- me.
What do you do? I am what is called a song-and-dance man.
Had I not decided to follow a scientific vocation I could easily have pursued a highly successful career upon the stage.
You have experience? Oh, yes, indeed.
The best kind of experience.
I had the lead in my college musical.
- College? - Yes.
College is the highest form of entertainment on Earth.
And if you'll pardon my presumption, sir may I suggest that you allow me to audition? And then if you like my act, which I'm sure you will perhaps you would consider heading for Andromeda by way of Earth.
Let me assure you, sir.
Your show will be immensely successful there with Zachary Smith as the star.
Star? You can scarcely expect me to accept minor billing on my own planet.
Of course not.
Marvello is noted for his fairness, his magnanimity.
And talent always finds its own level.
Then you will grant me an audition? Of course.
Whenever you're ready.
Splendid.
I shall polish up my act immediately.
I shall be back.
Marvello I wanna know what happened to my jewels.
Unfortunately, my dear, I had to sell your jewels to pay for our meager supplies.
However, I have the feeling that we're all going to do a marvelous performance tonight.
One of those rare moments of magic that warms the soul.
Following which, if I'm not mistaken we'll all dine sumptuously.
And there's this alien that juggles cosmic balls.
He's terrific.
And there's this monster.
He's real creepy.
And they have a strongman that wrestles him and everything.
Oh, I don't imagine they'll be putting on a show here.
After all, there isn't enough of an audience to make it worthwhile for them.
But that's the neat part of it.
He's willing to put on a show for us.
For us? How will we ever pay him? Well, he doesn't want money from us.
- All he wants is dinner.
- Oh.
Is that all he wants? - Just dinner? - The answer's no.
Oh, but there are only four of them.
Look, don't any of you realize what's going on here? If we don't get this purifier fixed by the end of the week those plants'll be dead, and we'll be out of food.
- But the machine's almost fixed.
- I didn't say that.
I said I knew a way to make it work without cobalt magnesium.
Judy, give me that plant.
Now we'll see just how close we are.
John.
[ Whirring .]
Not as close as I thought.
- I'd be willing to give up my food rations for tomorrow.
- Me too! - That's out of the question.
- John? Could you help me with this for a minute? Now, Maureen, there's no discussing any of this.
We simply can't afford to waste our resources.
You're very tired, aren't you, dear? I'm not tired.
I'm frustrated! - Do you think you can save the plants? - I don't know.
Look, John, darling, this has been very hard on all of us.
The heat, the boredom, and now this.
The children feel the strain just as much as we do.
I know that.
Well, I think there are times when we can gain so much more by not being practical.
Oh, it would mean so much to all of us.
All right.
Go and invite the entertainers.
- Yes, sir! - Mom, can I go too? - Yes, of course, dear.
I don't see why not.
- I'll stay and help.
No.
Go ahead.
I can manage without you.
- You run along with Will and Penny.
- Thank you.
We are going to have a wonderful party.
Good day, madam.
Come along.
What's in the bag, Smith? Some extra food rations you're smuggling out to stash away somewhere? Your barbarous remarks fall on deaf ears, Major.
- This happens to be an experiment.
- I'll bet.
You can put it aside and help us with the purifier.
We have to install a reduction coil.
I'm afraid that will have to wait.
I have far more important work to do.
Come along with me, sir.
- Smith? - Let him go.
Let him go.
We can install it lots faster without him.
Now, if we can reduce the intensity, we might be making a little progress.
We've got to kill the blight without destroying the plants.
Let's do it.
Come along.
Come along.
Don't loiter.
Come along.
Come along.
Don't loiter.
What is the nature of your experiment electrical or mechanical? - Neither.
It is an emotional one.
- That does not compute.
Of course it doesn't compute, you ninny.
You wouldn't understand it and I certainly don't intend to waste my time explaining it to you.
La-lum Bum, bum-bum-bum - How complete are your memory banks? - Very complete.
Good.
I need the words to a song.
La-lum Bum, bum-bum-bum Yes, that will be perfect.
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips.
" The words, please.
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips"? That does not compute.
The song was popular some time ago.
Search your recall memory banks.
You're bound to have recorded it at one time or another.
Yes.
Yes, what? Do you know the words, or don't you? I know the words.
I do not understand them, but I know them.
Shall I repeat them to you? Just a moment.
Let me think.
It might perhaps be better if I were to use all of my energy for the art of Terpsichore, and you were to-- Yes, I think so.
I want you to provide me with a musical accompaniment.
Accompaniment? I want you to sing, you bumbling booby.
And sing con "expresso.
" Put some expression into it.
Is this important? Yours is not to question why.
Yours is to do as I say, or die.
This is going to earn my way back to Earth.
That's what it's going to do.
Now for the costume.
Here we are.
There.
How do I look? Now, commence on the count of three.
Are you ready? One and two and three and-- Stop that unbearable caterwauling! - I rather liked it.
- Then sing to yourself, you cackling cacophony! The din is deafening.
I suppose I shall have to sing the song myself.
But, of course, I've always had a very fine voice.
I even considered an operatic career at one time.
- I have heard you sing.
- Thank you.
- You'd never have made it.
- How dare you! - Do you need me further? - No, not at the moment.
But at my audition, I shall require you to be on hand to provide applause at the appropriate moments, if you can manage that.
- Now you may go.
Good heavens.
Flat as a pancake.
Silence! Despite all obstacles, the show must go on.
Zachary Smith must assume his rightful destiny as a star.
Now, then-- ## [ Humming .]
Marvelous.
Dancing better than ever.
Da, da, da, da, da Whoo! What a career I've missed.
Absolutely marvelous.
## [ Calliope .]
[ All Gasping .]
[ Gasping, Cheering .]
[ Applause .]
- Bravo! - Very good.
Good! And now, ladies and gentlemen, I must caution you to remain in your seats in perfect quiet remembering at all times that the margin between safety and danger is very narrow indeed.
- This is the cosmic monster - [ Growling .]
the most deadly beast in all the galaxies responsible for sending thousands to their eternal reward.
And this is-- The Incomparable Vicho who defies death nightly in his close-quarters combat with the very incarnation of evil.
Are you ready, Vicho? [ Growling Intensifies .]
Good heavens.
[ Gasps .]
Oh! [ Grunting .]
[ Screams .]
No! In the vastness of this mysterious universe are forces beyond the reasoning of any mortal.
Volatile gases, radiations, electrical emanations powers which have been mastered but by one person-- Nubu the Magnificent! [ Applause .]
[ Beeping, Whirring .]
[ Nubu .]
Keep your eyes on the cosmic spheres.
Just do the goblet and the golden idol tonight, my dear.
I'm starving to death and want my supper.
[ Gasping, Applauding .]
And now, the star of our show.
Mistress of the occult.
The only woman capable of reading the innermost secrets of the soul and materializing thoughts.
The one and only Fenestra Queen of Mystery! [ Applause .]
[ Will .]
Wow! [ Don .]
Hey, hey! The spirits of the universe are here tonight.
I feel their presence.
I see the supporting tendrils of their essence.
We will accomplish the impossible here tonight.
I feel it.
I see it.
But I must have the cooperation of a member of the audience.
- May I have a volunteer, please? - Can I, Dad? Sure.
Go ahead.
Are you sure you wish to place the control of your mind in the infinite? Yes, ma'am, I sure do.
Extend your right palm, please, and place it beneath the lamp.
Now, I must ask you to close your eyes.
Make of your mind a blank suspending all your own thoughts and allowing the forces of the universe to come in.
The shape will appear in your mind.
It will have form, substance, color.
Now, what do you see? A cup.
It's all glittery, shiny.
A goblet? A golden goblet? Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
A golden goblet.
Something's wrong.
Continue to concentrate.
Fix your mind on the golden goblet.
Think of nothing else.
[ Gasping, Chuckling .]
She managed that all right.
No.
Not her.
She didn't even touch the wire.
It was the boy.
He made it materialize.
Now, close your eyes again.
Make of your mind a blank a flowing river of your thoughts.
Allow the spirits to take shape to gather form.
Now what do you see? It's little and it's wiggly, and it's got bumps.
But I never saw one that color before.
Well, what do you see in your mind? A frog, but it's purple.
[ Fenestra .]
Concentrate on it.
Allow it to become a shape.
Wow! - Oh! - Look! - Did you see that? - I saw it.
- How did he do it? - It's no trick.
The boy has the gift.
He has the power.
[ Croaking .]
- Can I keep him, Mom? - Well, I don't know.
You better ask Mr.
Marvello.
It's his frog.
- No.
After all, Will made the frog.
It's his.
- Gee, thanks.
Well, I'm afraid that after such a wonderful performance our dinner's going to be a bit of an anticlimax.
Not at all, dear lady.
- Oh! Well, shall we go? - Oh! Well, I'll join you presently, Professor Robinson.
There are always chores to be done after every show.
- Can we help you in any way? - No, thank you.
- All right.
We'll see you soon.
- Bye-bye.
We still live in the age of miracles, my friend.
Why, with that boy in our troupe, we could set the entire Andromeda circuit on its collective ear.
I may call upon your services again.
Yes.
He will be our passport to glory.
We'll not leave this planet without that boy.
[ Growling .]
Where'd you capture him? On a small planet in Supernova 12.
A wondrous place where creatures of his kind abound.
A glittery world with four moons and a special kind of silvery light.
And the air there is rare and cold.
It makes you feel marvelously alive just to drink it in.
Golly.
I'd sure like to see that.
Oh, there are other places even more beautiful than that.
An asteroid with rivers of light where live the multicolored fish.
And near the Dog Star, there's a world with a diamond mountain and a golden plain.
Oh, there are glories out there that you never dreamed of, my boy.
I'll bet there are.
It's, uh, possible that you could see those places.
- Me? How? - Your act, my boy.
Oh, that? I figured it out last night.
Fenestra was projecting images into my mind.
Only the goblet, and the goblet was supposed to be lowered into your hand by a wire.
But the trick didn't work.
What you did was real.
No, it wasn't.
I tried it last night by myself, and it didn't work.
Because you need Fenestra as a conductress.
Would you mind lending yourself to a further experiment? - No, sir, I wouldn't mind.
- Fenestra, my dear? Will wants to try the materialization again.
Come along, my boy.
Now, then, what shall we project? Shall it be a precious stone? Some sort of a jewel? A diamond? If you don't mind, sir, I'd like to try something edible.
An apple, for instance? Well, I suppose that's all right for an experiment.
Proceed.
Now, close your eyes, Will Robinson, and extend your hand.
Concentrate on the image in your mind.
Red, spherical.
- Can you see it? - Yeah, I think so.
Allow the image to take shape and substance.
Allow it to become a form.
A ball.
A wooden ball.
It appears that your gift is erratic, beyond complete control.
But that makes little difference.
Over the months to come we can refine that and it will suffice in its present form for now.
Over the months? You are about to receive a rare opportunity, my boy one which most artists would give their very souls to achieve.
In short, we'd like you to join our traveling troupe become a star in your own right.
I appreciate the invitation, Dr.
Marvello, but I can't.
Why not? I'd like to go, sir, but my family needs me.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
Good morning! Good morning! Come along, you lagger.
Don't loiter.
As they used to say back on Earth whenever I approached: - "Never fear, Smith is here.
" Good morning, madam.
- What's that, Dr.
Smith? A bit of haberdashery from before your time.
William, I do believe your father wishes to see you.
Something about a reduction coil.
Yeah.
I did promise to help put it in.
Then it's best that you keep your word.
A man's word is his most precious possession.
Yes, sir.
Thanks for inviting me, Dr.
Marvello.
- [ Marvello .]
Keep it in mind.
- [ Growling .]
I take it you are ready for your audition.
Precisely right, good sir.
However I must ask you to take into consideration the fact that I require an orchestra for the full effect and a spotlight.
Your imagination will, of necessity, have to supply that.
Hurrah! Hurrah! Not yet, you ninny.
I will take those things into consideration.
Would you care to use the stage? That would perhaps be more appropriate.
Now sir, imagine if you will, I have just been fittingly introduced.
The house lights dim.
A spotlight flicks on catching a bare corner of the stage.
And I let it rest there, creating a moment of suspense before I appear.
Now, then.
Two, three, four.
- One, two, three, four.
- [ Robot Laughing .]
- What are you laughing at, you cackling clod? - [ Laughing Continues .]
Stop that laughing this instant! Do you hear? [ Laughing Stops .]
I'll attend to you later.
Jealousy, you quite understand.
Now if you'll give me a moment or two to compose myself, I shall continue.
Oh, no need to go to that trouble, Dr.
Smith.
Indeed, I think you have a very, um, unusual act.
You do? Unfortunately, however, I'm afraid that few of the audiences before which we play would have, uh sufficient, um, sophistication to fully appreciate it.
Perhaps different music? A better costume? I was about to say that we have no room in our troupe for a song-and-dance act.
- Oh, dear.
- But, uh-- But if there was a manager who had an act that we liked-- - Say, the boy, for instance.
- Will? Then we would be delighted for that manager to come on a trip with us.
And you might be willing to detour your flight by way of Earth? I see no reason why not.
And the manager could, of course, remain there, could he not? Of course.
But the boy would have to remain with the troupe.
That's only reasonable, my dear sir.
This is purely hypothetical, of course.
I have no idea whether the boy, uh would accept the idea of a personal manager.
Let me assure you, my dear sir.
I anticipate no trouble in that area, none at all.
Will doesn't make a single move without consulting his old friend and mentor-- myself.
We understand each other then.
I think that we do.
I shall make all the arrangements.
- I must know as soon as possible.
- Of course you must.
There might perhaps be a bit of trouble from the parents.
Don't worry about that.
I'll take care of them.
How nice.
I should leave you here to rust, you traitorous tintabulation.
But, of course, everyone knows I have a soft heart, so I shall give you a second chance.
- Besides, it appears that I shall be needing you.
- [ Laughing .]
[ Laughing Stops .]
There.
That's better.
Now come along with me, you ludicrous lump.
There's much to be done.
Come along.
[ Growling .]
Try the variable filter setting.
- Take it down to, uh, 0.
3.
- 0.
3.
Here goes nothing.
[ Whirring .]
I don't think we've been compensating for the daylight factor enough.
- What do you say we turn in? - Yeah, but we're so darn close.
I mean, it's just a matter of proper settings.
Well, this thing isn't going anywhere, and we'll be fresh in the morning.
- Come on.
- Okay.
We have to increase the intensity and cut down on the duration.
It's a question of juggling it around.
Well, it's trial and error.
- What are you doing? - Shh! Keep your voice down, you tarnished trumpet.
Or better still, make no noise at all.
Just listen.
I will call out the dial readings, and you will record them.
For what purpose? I merely wish to make it appear that there will be insufficient food so that the boy will be more inclined towards self-sacrifice and the acceptance of Marvello's offer.
I cannot accept that course of action.
You can and you will.
Just do as you're told and remember these figures.
Top bank from left to right-- Bottom bank from left to right-- - Do you have that? - Yes.
I must warn you to change nothing.
They are close to the final solution.
Of course they are.
And I wouldn't dream of jeopardizing their calculations not for anything in the world.
But to delay them a little is to give that dear boy a chance for the career he so richly deserves.
And once I've departed this miserable vale you can restore this machine to its proper settings, and no harm done.
Now, let's see.
There.
There.
That should do it.
What you have done is wrong.
Spare me the moralizations, you sanctimonious scatterbrain.
And remember, you are to keep quiet about this.
Not even a whisper.
And now, I have work to do of a much happier sort.
Since I shall be getting No, I think 20 would be more equitable since I shall negotiate a rather large sum for his efforts.
Or perhaps 30.
No, 40 since the boy would have no chance at all except for me.
I've always been the quintessence of fairness.
Fifty-fifty.
- Now what could've gone wrong? - Beats me.
I want you to take an inventory of all the food capsules, supplements, everything.
- And then we'll draw up some caloric charts.
- It's that bad then? We're gonna have a drastic food reduction until we know what's wrong with that machine.
For the benefit of the general welfare and despite my dreadful pangs of hunger - I shall forego breakfast.
- There won't be any breakfast.
We're going on emergency rations immediately.
Without the plants, there's a four-day supply of food.
I checked.
Unfortunately, that is so.
Would you care to take a little stroll, my dear boy? Sometimes a walk in the fresh air is conducive to creative thinking.
- I guess so.
- It's an impossible situation, my boy and the statistics are against us.
Even at minimum rations, our food supply will be exhausted in four days.
And it should take at least two weeks to repair the machine, more likely three.
Maybe I could eat less.
That's a noble idea, my boy, but they would never permit it.
I thought to sacrifice myself.
I demeaned myself to the point of auditioning for Marvello's troupe in the hope that they would take me along, and thus there would be one mouth less here to feed.
- But, alas, they turned me down.
- He wants me to go with him.
- You? - I can make things materialize.
Perish the thought.
It's out of the question.
- I forbid it.
- But you were willing to go.
I don't matter.
Oh, Will.
I couldn't bear to see you spinning out there all alone in space without the company of a loved one to guide your footsteps.
But there's no other way, is there? You're a fine and noble lad and immensely practical.
I cannot shrink from my responsibility.
I shall make the supreme sacrifice and accompany you.
- You will? - Yes.
And that will provide an extra margin of food that will insure the survival of your family.
I suggest we inform Marvello of our decision.
- Yes, sir.
- You're a stout lad.
Come along, my boy.
I must say that I am delighted with your joining our troupe.
We can look forward to a success such as the universe has never seen before.
- Yes, sir.
- I suggest you run along and find Fenestra.
She can begin to instruct you in some of the finer points of showmanship.
Yes, sir.
It occurs to me, my dear Marvello that there are still some minor points to be considered.
For instance, I think it might not be amiss to put a banner across the front of your stage reading, in quite large type "Dr.
Zachary Smith presents," and in quite small type, "Will Robinson.
" We can discuss these things on our journey, Dr.
Smith.
And speaking of our journey, we will be departing at precisely noon tomorrow when the time window is open for our takeoff.
Not one second earlier or later will do.
I suggest you have the boy here You may rely upon me, sir.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I really must leave.
There is, after all, a great deal of packing to be done.
Surreptitiously, of course.
We wouldn't want to alarm the others, if you understand me.
- Oh, I understand you.
- The future does indeed seem bright with promise veritably glowing with it.
And I can guarantee you, my dear Marv-- [ Screaming .]
Let me go! Let me go! - [ Screaming .]
- No! No! No! - Are you hurt? - No.
No, I'm quite all right.
It's a good thing I have an iron constitution.
That would've killed a lesser man.
- [ Growling .]
- [ Screaming .]
Can't I say good-bye to them, Dr.
Smith? I do understand, my boy, but they would never allow you to make the sacrifice.
And even if they assented to your going it would cause them grievous and unbearable pain.
Yeah.
I guess so.
It must be at least 11:30.
We can no longer delay.
I suggest that you go first, and I'll follow.
Are you feeling all right, Will? Yeah, sure.
I just wanted to tell you that-- Well, I like having you for a sister.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Penny? Penny, I thought you might like to have this.
You're giving me your frog? Yeah.
Well, I'm gettin' kind of tired of it.
Don't overfeed him.
What's got into him? I don't know.
You want something, son? No, sir.
Oh.
Now what was that for? - Nothing.
- Are you up to something? Marvello's leaving this morning.
I'd like to go say good-bye to him.
Well, all right, but come right back.
John, by any chance did you change the settings on the dials? No.
We had an 0.
3 setting on the variable filter, now, didn't we? - That's right.
What's the matter? - Yeah.
I don't know, but we've got a 6.
3 now.
Did any of you touch that machine, even accidentally? - I haven't been near it.
- Neither have I.
I haven't touched it.
- Did you alter the settings on the dial? - I did not.
- Do you know what happened to them? - Yes.
But I cannot tell you.
Despite my weakened condition, I shall go out and hunt some edible berries for us all.
Someone changed the settings on the dial, Doctor.
Good heavens! Who could've done such a thing? Of all the idiotic, bonehead things to do, Smith.
Tell me -- Why would you mess up our food supply when you know you'll go hungry with the rest of us? How dare you accuse me, Major.
I've been your scapegoat long enough.
The moment anything untoward occurs, I become your emotional football.
- Well, let me tell you-- - The truth, Smith, because the Robot saw everything.
He's just trying to incriminate me.
That's what he's trying to do.
You Judas.
- I ordered you to keep silent! - He did.
- He didn't say anything, but you are.
- [ Gasping .]
Well, Doctor, just where do you think you're going? Will had to have his chance.
It was absolutely vital.
And he'd never have gone unless he had a compelling reason.
Will? Do you mean he's gone off with them? I was to go along with him and watch over him.
- When do they leave? - At noon.
Don, get the lasers.
We'll try to stop them.
You're not in jeopardy, I assure you.
How could you think I would place my dear friends in jeopardy? The Robot has the proper settings for the machine.
If anything happens to my son - I'm going to skin you alive.
- Let's go.
Come on.
I was only trying to help the dear boy.
Only trying to help.
You traitor! We only have five minutes.
We must hurry.
I know it's difficult to leave the things that are familiar.
But after you've been with us for a time, the sadness will fade and the past will be replaced by the plaudits of the crowds and the love of millions.
- Do you have a radio communicator on board? - Why, yes.
After we leave, would you mind if I called and talked to my parents one last time? - Not at all, my boy.
- Dr.
Marvello! Will! - We've come for Will.
- Stand back, I warn you! - Get on board and start the engines.
- Everybody, wait here.
Son, Smith tricked you.
The purification machine will work.
There'll be plenty of food.
Let me go! Let me go! No! You're going with me! He belongs to me now.
- I'll give you one last chance to avoid destruction.
- Let him go, Marvello.
We don't intend to let you take him.
[ Roaring .]
Save your laser beams.
The monster is impervious to them.
Will, get over here! Out of his way! No, Dad, stay back.
I know what I'm doing.
I know you can control him, Dr.
Marvello.
Fenestra, help me, please! Stop it! Stop it! I'll do anything you ask.
I'll go with you.
But, please, stop him! No! No! No! - Get back there.
You're not going with him.
- I gave him my word.
No.
I couldn't take you with me, even if I wished.
I saw in you the makings of a star.
But the only great performer is the one who puts his heart into his work.
You could never do that because your heart's here with your family.
Do me one small favor, my friend.
Take this as a remembrance.
And if you should ever get back to Earth, tell all your friends that you have witnessed one of the marvels of the universe-- The Miracle Extravaganza of Dr.
Marvello.
It won't hurt any to pave the way just in case I find myself in the vicinity.
Adieu! Come, my dear.
[ Engines Firing Up .]
- Oh.
What's that he gave you? - I don't know.
Do you know what it is, Dad? It appears to be some kind of celestial Annie Oakley.
- Annie Oakley? - Oh, that's an old-fashioned expression for a lifetime pass to Marvello's show.
And they'll be back.
I know it.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
As I always say, all's well that ends well.
Oh, no, you don't, Smith.
You're not getting off that easy.
John, can you think of a suitable punishment for our good doctor? I have the perfect one in mind.
Very well.
Get on with it.
One and two and three and-- - Well? - It's still all clear outside, Dr.
Smith.
Good.
There.
Steady.
Steady.
Keep up a steady flow of current.
If my efforts are not satisfactory then I suggest you do the job yourself.
Mind your manners and you'll keep your friends, you mental midget.
Dad said never to use the Robot as a power supply, Dr.
Smith.
I'm sure he wouldn't mind if he knew this alcohol was for medicinal purposes.
If it's all right, why don't you tell Dad and the others what you're doing? Yes.
Why do you sneak out in the dead of night to work at your liquor still? Liquor still indeed.
How dare you! And as for keeping this project a secret, I just thought it would be so nice to surprise everyone.
Dr.
Smith, the little old winemaker.
Spare me your asinine asides, you pathetic pomposity.
Can't you generate any more power? You will have to reverse cycles.
Oh, good heavens! I have to do everything myself.
There.
Now-- And there.
No! Good heavens! Stop at once! Stop it! Do you hear? Oh, dear! It's all your fault.
Wasting good wine, you inept idiot.
Indeed.
How is it, Dr.
Smith? Hmm.
Considering the fact that this beverage was prepared from kookaberries instead of from grapes, it's not altogether bad.
- When it reaches maturity, we should have an excellent-- - [ Robot .]
Warning! Alien presence! Warning! Alien presence! Warning.
Alien presence indeed.
It appears to me that you have alien presence on the mind lately.
However, William would you be good enough to go and have a look? Dr.
Smith, we know something's out there.
- The Robot's never wrong.
- Sometimes he is.
I'd go myself, you see but this is a critical time in wine-making-- you do understand.
[ Screams .]
Well, do something, you cowardly clump! Protect us! My power supply has been drained.
It is extremely low.
He hasn't got enough energy for an electrical charge.
[ Screams .]
Help! Help! Help!
Last week, as you recall we left Will, Penny, Dr.
Smith and the Robot on a scientific expedition.
None were aware that within moments they were to encounter the most incredible assortment of alien creatures ever assembled on one planet.
- What's your reading? - Quartz conglomerate.
Cobalt magnesium .
005 percent.
That's not very good.
Don says it has to be one percent at least, or it won't work.
He would've done much better to listen to me.
There is absolutely no cobalt magnesium in these rocks.
Dr.
Smith, we have to find some.
Unless we can get the purifier to work on the plants our food supply won't last a week.
[ Gasps .]
Oh.
Zachary Smith has never been one to slacken when the welfare of the group is at stake.
- [ Gasps .]
Oh! - Dr.
Smith, is something wrong? I'm afraid it's the old trouble, my dear-- my eyes.
It's what comes of not listening to one's doctor, I suppose.
For years, he warned me to avoid overworking.
"Try to suppress your desire for continuous endeavor" he always told me, "especially at midday.
" Well, let's push on, shall we? Oh, dear.
There's no point to that, Dr.
Smith.
You rest here.
We can cover the rest of the area.
- No, no.
I wouldn't think of it.
- We'll sing out if we find anything.
An alert mind might be of great value at the proper moment.
I'll just rest for a bit here.
Would you help me, my dears? My back is extremely delicate today.
Yes, careful.
Careful.
Careful.
Yes, yes.
Ah.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Ah! Yes.
Thank you so much.
I shall be here available in the event of any emergency, however slight.
- Don't hesitate to call me.
- Yes, sir.
Come on.
We'll try that vein over there.
And don't worry about me.
I shall be perfectly all right.
[ Sighs .]
Go along with the children.
They are your intellectual equal.
[ Sighs .]
Ah, lovely.
Nice.
- Oh, go away, you silly goose.
- [ Growling .]
Help! Somebody help me! [ Whimpering .]
What's the matter? Dr.
Smith! Don't let him get me! Shoot him down! - Blast who down? - [ Gasping .]
Oh, dear.
I thought I saw a monster-- a horrible, ugly creature.
Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to call out and scare him away.
Warning! Warning! Warning! Alien approaching! What? Where? Where? Where? [ Screaming .]
Oh, dear! Oh! Well, don't just stand there! Do something! [ Robot .]
Warning! Warning! Visibility: zero! All aircraft are hereby grounded! - Silence, you chattering magpie! - That was just a harmless smoke deterrent useful in holding off small dogs and renegade robots.
Permit me to introduce myself.
I am Dr.
Andreas Marvello, professor extraordinaire galactic entrepreneur, and bringer of joy - to the crowned heads of the universe.
- How do you do? I'm sorry, sir, to have given you such fright.
You didn't frighten him, sir.
He saw a monster.
Correction.
He said he thought he saw a monster.
- Oh, indeed he did see a monster.
- Ha! That was the cosmic monster, one of the wonders of the universe.
The fiercest specimen from Supernova 12.
- Good heavens! - But you need have no more fear of the monster.
He has been recaptured.
He is back in his cage.
- Oh.
- Why do you keep him, sir? I'd be delighted to tell you, Mr.
, uh-- Robinson.
Will Robinson.
And this is my sister Penny.
How do you do, my dear? - Hello.
- This is Dr.
Smith and our Robot.
How do you do, Dr.
Smith? My dear sir, I am Dr.
Smith.
- That is the Robot.
- Oh! I must say, I am delighted to meet you all.
I was beginning to think that this planet must surely be deserted.
And in my business, that would be catastrophic.
Just what is your business, sir, if you don't mind my asking? Come along with me and I'll show you.
I was programmed to return you to the Jupiter within four hours.
The time is almost up.
You may return and inform the others we shall be along presently.
Go.
- Very well.
- This way, please.
Well, here we are.
- Marvello's Extravaganza! - [ Growling .]
The greatest show in space! I take it, Dr.
Marvello that you do a great deal of moving about in the galaxy.
You are correct, sir.
And in your wanderings, have you, by any chance ever visited a rather small planet called Earth? No, I'm afraid not.
We've always made it a point to avoid the lesser places.
[ Straining .]
Vicho-- the strongest man in any universe.
Holder of the Taurus award for courage who in our show defies death by wrestling - with the unconquerable cosmic monster.
- [ Growling .]
And this, ladies and gentlemen is the cosmic monster.
- [ Roaring .]
- Over here, we have Nubu juggler of cosmic forces which would destroy any other creature.
- Don't get too close.
- I do believe, Dr.
Marvello - that you're missing a perfectly wonderful opportunity.
- Oh? Yes, by overlooking Earth as a possible booking for your troupe.
After all, the most enriching things very often come in the smallest packages, do they not? - [ Beeping .]
- Possibly.
Nubu turn down your generator.
We don't wish to incinerate this fine planet.
Could he really incinerate the planet with his machine? Of course.
That's what makes his act so spectacular-- that element of danger, the possibility of complete destruction.
[ Woman .]
Marvello, I wanna talk to you.
Uh, we have company, my dear.
I seem to have misplaced my jewels, Dr.
Marvello.
Oh, I'm sure they'll turn up someplace.
I was just about to tell our guests about you, my dear.
This is Fenestra, clairvoyant supreme mistress of the lost arts of psychokinetology and extrasensory materialization.
If she can do all that, how come she can't find her jewels? Good thinking, my little man.
You are as bright as a penny.
We shall have to make a deeper study of that one day.
Now, what was it you wanted, my dear? I want to talk to you alone.
Directly, my dear.
A delightful creature.
Yes.
It's fortunate that you children happened along when you did.
I was just about to advertise for someone to participate in a grand adventure.
And up you popped, just like that.
I call it providential.
What would you like us to do, sir? We would help you in any way that we could.
Just pass along these handbills in the nearest town.
Let the people know that Marvello is here for their edification, enlightenment and entertainment.
Um, there isn't any town, Dr.
Marvello.
- Village? - [ Will .]
No, sir.
Hamlet? There are only the seven of us on the Jupiter 2.
- Seven? - Yes, sir.
Well, no true showman is ever intimidated by the smallness of his audience.
After all, it's communication that counts.
Then you'll put on a show for us right here? Of course.
This very night you will be amazed, amused and I hope confounded by things you've never seen before and will never see again.
Following which, we will honor you by sharing your generous hospitality and, uh, taking dinner with you.
Uh, maybe we'd better ask our parents about that.
Of course.
I understand perfectly.
Are you coming, Dr.
Smith? Uh, presently, my dear boy.
I have some matters to discuss with Dr.
Marvello.
Come on! - Wonderful children.
- Yes, they are.
It occurs to me, Dr.
Marvello that we might be able to do a little business together, you and I - for our mutual benefit.
- Oh? It so happens that either by accident or providence, as you call it you have come upon a theatrical act that will make you a very rich man.
- An act? - One of the finest entertainers to be found anywhere-- me.
What do you do? I am what is called a song-and-dance man.
Had I not decided to follow a scientific vocation I could easily have pursued a highly successful career upon the stage.
You have experience? Oh, yes, indeed.
The best kind of experience.
I had the lead in my college musical.
- College? - Yes.
College is the highest form of entertainment on Earth.
And if you'll pardon my presumption, sir may I suggest that you allow me to audition? And then if you like my act, which I'm sure you will perhaps you would consider heading for Andromeda by way of Earth.
Let me assure you, sir.
Your show will be immensely successful there with Zachary Smith as the star.
Star? You can scarcely expect me to accept minor billing on my own planet.
Of course not.
Marvello is noted for his fairness, his magnanimity.
And talent always finds its own level.
Then you will grant me an audition? Of course.
Whenever you're ready.
Splendid.
I shall polish up my act immediately.
I shall be back.
Marvello I wanna know what happened to my jewels.
Unfortunately, my dear, I had to sell your jewels to pay for our meager supplies.
However, I have the feeling that we're all going to do a marvelous performance tonight.
One of those rare moments of magic that warms the soul.
Following which, if I'm not mistaken we'll all dine sumptuously.
And there's this alien that juggles cosmic balls.
He's terrific.
And there's this monster.
He's real creepy.
And they have a strongman that wrestles him and everything.
Oh, I don't imagine they'll be putting on a show here.
After all, there isn't enough of an audience to make it worthwhile for them.
But that's the neat part of it.
He's willing to put on a show for us.
For us? How will we ever pay him? Well, he doesn't want money from us.
- All he wants is dinner.
- Oh.
Is that all he wants? - Just dinner? - The answer's no.
Oh, but there are only four of them.
Look, don't any of you realize what's going on here? If we don't get this purifier fixed by the end of the week those plants'll be dead, and we'll be out of food.
- But the machine's almost fixed.
- I didn't say that.
I said I knew a way to make it work without cobalt magnesium.
Judy, give me that plant.
Now we'll see just how close we are.
John.
[ Whirring .]
Not as close as I thought.
- I'd be willing to give up my food rations for tomorrow.
- Me too! - That's out of the question.
- John? Could you help me with this for a minute? Now, Maureen, there's no discussing any of this.
We simply can't afford to waste our resources.
You're very tired, aren't you, dear? I'm not tired.
I'm frustrated! - Do you think you can save the plants? - I don't know.
Look, John, darling, this has been very hard on all of us.
The heat, the boredom, and now this.
The children feel the strain just as much as we do.
I know that.
Well, I think there are times when we can gain so much more by not being practical.
Oh, it would mean so much to all of us.
All right.
Go and invite the entertainers.
- Yes, sir! - Mom, can I go too? - Yes, of course, dear.
I don't see why not.
- I'll stay and help.
No.
Go ahead.
I can manage without you.
- You run along with Will and Penny.
- Thank you.
We are going to have a wonderful party.
Good day, madam.
Come along.
What's in the bag, Smith? Some extra food rations you're smuggling out to stash away somewhere? Your barbarous remarks fall on deaf ears, Major.
- This happens to be an experiment.
- I'll bet.
You can put it aside and help us with the purifier.
We have to install a reduction coil.
I'm afraid that will have to wait.
I have far more important work to do.
Come along with me, sir.
- Smith? - Let him go.
Let him go.
We can install it lots faster without him.
Now, if we can reduce the intensity, we might be making a little progress.
We've got to kill the blight without destroying the plants.
Let's do it.
Come along.
Come along.
Don't loiter.
Come along.
Come along.
Don't loiter.
What is the nature of your experiment electrical or mechanical? - Neither.
It is an emotional one.
- That does not compute.
Of course it doesn't compute, you ninny.
You wouldn't understand it and I certainly don't intend to waste my time explaining it to you.
La-lum Bum, bum-bum-bum - How complete are your memory banks? - Very complete.
Good.
I need the words to a song.
La-lum Bum, bum-bum-bum Yes, that will be perfect.
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips.
" The words, please.
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips"? That does not compute.
The song was popular some time ago.
Search your recall memory banks.
You're bound to have recorded it at one time or another.
Yes.
Yes, what? Do you know the words, or don't you? I know the words.
I do not understand them, but I know them.
Shall I repeat them to you? Just a moment.
Let me think.
It might perhaps be better if I were to use all of my energy for the art of Terpsichore, and you were to-- Yes, I think so.
I want you to provide me with a musical accompaniment.
Accompaniment? I want you to sing, you bumbling booby.
And sing con "expresso.
" Put some expression into it.
Is this important? Yours is not to question why.
Yours is to do as I say, or die.
This is going to earn my way back to Earth.
That's what it's going to do.
Now for the costume.
Here we are.
There.
How do I look? Now, commence on the count of three.
Are you ready? One and two and three and-- Stop that unbearable caterwauling! - I rather liked it.
- Then sing to yourself, you cackling cacophony! The din is deafening.
I suppose I shall have to sing the song myself.
But, of course, I've always had a very fine voice.
I even considered an operatic career at one time.
- I have heard you sing.
- Thank you.
- You'd never have made it.
- How dare you! - Do you need me further? - No, not at the moment.
But at my audition, I shall require you to be on hand to provide applause at the appropriate moments, if you can manage that.
- Now you may go.
Good heavens.
Flat as a pancake.
Silence! Despite all obstacles, the show must go on.
Zachary Smith must assume his rightful destiny as a star.
Now, then-- ## [ Humming .]
Marvelous.
Dancing better than ever.
Da, da, da, da, da Whoo! What a career I've missed.
Absolutely marvelous.
## [ Calliope .]
[ All Gasping .]
[ Gasping, Cheering .]
[ Applause .]
- Bravo! - Very good.
Good! And now, ladies and gentlemen, I must caution you to remain in your seats in perfect quiet remembering at all times that the margin between safety and danger is very narrow indeed.
- This is the cosmic monster - [ Growling .]
the most deadly beast in all the galaxies responsible for sending thousands to their eternal reward.
And this is-- The Incomparable Vicho who defies death nightly in his close-quarters combat with the very incarnation of evil.
Are you ready, Vicho? [ Growling Intensifies .]
Good heavens.
[ Gasps .]
Oh! [ Grunting .]
[ Screams .]
No! In the vastness of this mysterious universe are forces beyond the reasoning of any mortal.
Volatile gases, radiations, electrical emanations powers which have been mastered but by one person-- Nubu the Magnificent! [ Applause .]
[ Beeping, Whirring .]
[ Nubu .]
Keep your eyes on the cosmic spheres.
Just do the goblet and the golden idol tonight, my dear.
I'm starving to death and want my supper.
[ Gasping, Applauding .]
And now, the star of our show.
Mistress of the occult.
The only woman capable of reading the innermost secrets of the soul and materializing thoughts.
The one and only Fenestra Queen of Mystery! [ Applause .]
[ Will .]
Wow! [ Don .]
Hey, hey! The spirits of the universe are here tonight.
I feel their presence.
I see the supporting tendrils of their essence.
We will accomplish the impossible here tonight.
I feel it.
I see it.
But I must have the cooperation of a member of the audience.
- May I have a volunteer, please? - Can I, Dad? Sure.
Go ahead.
Are you sure you wish to place the control of your mind in the infinite? Yes, ma'am, I sure do.
Extend your right palm, please, and place it beneath the lamp.
Now, I must ask you to close your eyes.
Make of your mind a blank suspending all your own thoughts and allowing the forces of the universe to come in.
The shape will appear in your mind.
It will have form, substance, color.
Now, what do you see? A cup.
It's all glittery, shiny.
A goblet? A golden goblet? Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
A golden goblet.
Something's wrong.
Continue to concentrate.
Fix your mind on the golden goblet.
Think of nothing else.
[ Gasping, Chuckling .]
She managed that all right.
No.
Not her.
She didn't even touch the wire.
It was the boy.
He made it materialize.
Now, close your eyes again.
Make of your mind a blank a flowing river of your thoughts.
Allow the spirits to take shape to gather form.
Now what do you see? It's little and it's wiggly, and it's got bumps.
But I never saw one that color before.
Well, what do you see in your mind? A frog, but it's purple.
[ Fenestra .]
Concentrate on it.
Allow it to become a shape.
Wow! - Oh! - Look! - Did you see that? - I saw it.
- How did he do it? - It's no trick.
The boy has the gift.
He has the power.
[ Croaking .]
- Can I keep him, Mom? - Well, I don't know.
You better ask Mr.
Marvello.
It's his frog.
- No.
After all, Will made the frog.
It's his.
- Gee, thanks.
Well, I'm afraid that after such a wonderful performance our dinner's going to be a bit of an anticlimax.
Not at all, dear lady.
- Oh! Well, shall we go? - Oh! Well, I'll join you presently, Professor Robinson.
There are always chores to be done after every show.
- Can we help you in any way? - No, thank you.
- All right.
We'll see you soon.
- Bye-bye.
We still live in the age of miracles, my friend.
Why, with that boy in our troupe, we could set the entire Andromeda circuit on its collective ear.
I may call upon your services again.
Yes.
He will be our passport to glory.
We'll not leave this planet without that boy.
[ Growling .]
Where'd you capture him? On a small planet in Supernova 12.
A wondrous place where creatures of his kind abound.
A glittery world with four moons and a special kind of silvery light.
And the air there is rare and cold.
It makes you feel marvelously alive just to drink it in.
Golly.
I'd sure like to see that.
Oh, there are other places even more beautiful than that.
An asteroid with rivers of light where live the multicolored fish.
And near the Dog Star, there's a world with a diamond mountain and a golden plain.
Oh, there are glories out there that you never dreamed of, my boy.
I'll bet there are.
It's, uh, possible that you could see those places.
- Me? How? - Your act, my boy.
Oh, that? I figured it out last night.
Fenestra was projecting images into my mind.
Only the goblet, and the goblet was supposed to be lowered into your hand by a wire.
But the trick didn't work.
What you did was real.
No, it wasn't.
I tried it last night by myself, and it didn't work.
Because you need Fenestra as a conductress.
Would you mind lending yourself to a further experiment? - No, sir, I wouldn't mind.
- Fenestra, my dear? Will wants to try the materialization again.
Come along, my boy.
Now, then, what shall we project? Shall it be a precious stone? Some sort of a jewel? A diamond? If you don't mind, sir, I'd like to try something edible.
An apple, for instance? Well, I suppose that's all right for an experiment.
Proceed.
Now, close your eyes, Will Robinson, and extend your hand.
Concentrate on the image in your mind.
Red, spherical.
- Can you see it? - Yeah, I think so.
Allow the image to take shape and substance.
Allow it to become a form.
A ball.
A wooden ball.
It appears that your gift is erratic, beyond complete control.
But that makes little difference.
Over the months to come we can refine that and it will suffice in its present form for now.
Over the months? You are about to receive a rare opportunity, my boy one which most artists would give their very souls to achieve.
In short, we'd like you to join our traveling troupe become a star in your own right.
I appreciate the invitation, Dr.
Marvello, but I can't.
Why not? I'd like to go, sir, but my family needs me.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
Good morning! Good morning! Come along, you lagger.
Don't loiter.
As they used to say back on Earth whenever I approached: - "Never fear, Smith is here.
" Good morning, madam.
- What's that, Dr.
Smith? A bit of haberdashery from before your time.
William, I do believe your father wishes to see you.
Something about a reduction coil.
Yeah.
I did promise to help put it in.
Then it's best that you keep your word.
A man's word is his most precious possession.
Yes, sir.
Thanks for inviting me, Dr.
Marvello.
- [ Marvello .]
Keep it in mind.
- [ Growling .]
I take it you are ready for your audition.
Precisely right, good sir.
However I must ask you to take into consideration the fact that I require an orchestra for the full effect and a spotlight.
Your imagination will, of necessity, have to supply that.
Hurrah! Hurrah! Not yet, you ninny.
I will take those things into consideration.
Would you care to use the stage? That would perhaps be more appropriate.
Now sir, imagine if you will, I have just been fittingly introduced.
The house lights dim.
A spotlight flicks on catching a bare corner of the stage.
And I let it rest there, creating a moment of suspense before I appear.
Now, then.
Two, three, four.
- One, two, three, four.
- [ Robot Laughing .]
- What are you laughing at, you cackling clod? - [ Laughing Continues .]
Stop that laughing this instant! Do you hear? [ Laughing Stops .]
I'll attend to you later.
Jealousy, you quite understand.
Now if you'll give me a moment or two to compose myself, I shall continue.
Oh, no need to go to that trouble, Dr.
Smith.
Indeed, I think you have a very, um, unusual act.
You do? Unfortunately, however, I'm afraid that few of the audiences before which we play would have, uh sufficient, um, sophistication to fully appreciate it.
Perhaps different music? A better costume? I was about to say that we have no room in our troupe for a song-and-dance act.
- Oh, dear.
- But, uh-- But if there was a manager who had an act that we liked-- - Say, the boy, for instance.
- Will? Then we would be delighted for that manager to come on a trip with us.
And you might be willing to detour your flight by way of Earth? I see no reason why not.
And the manager could, of course, remain there, could he not? Of course.
But the boy would have to remain with the troupe.
That's only reasonable, my dear sir.
This is purely hypothetical, of course.
I have no idea whether the boy, uh would accept the idea of a personal manager.
Let me assure you, my dear sir.
I anticipate no trouble in that area, none at all.
Will doesn't make a single move without consulting his old friend and mentor-- myself.
We understand each other then.
I think that we do.
I shall make all the arrangements.
- I must know as soon as possible.
- Of course you must.
There might perhaps be a bit of trouble from the parents.
Don't worry about that.
I'll take care of them.
How nice.
I should leave you here to rust, you traitorous tintabulation.
But, of course, everyone knows I have a soft heart, so I shall give you a second chance.
- Besides, it appears that I shall be needing you.
- [ Laughing .]
[ Laughing Stops .]
There.
That's better.
Now come along with me, you ludicrous lump.
There's much to be done.
Come along.
[ Growling .]
Try the variable filter setting.
- Take it down to, uh, 0.
3.
- 0.
3.
Here goes nothing.
[ Whirring .]
I don't think we've been compensating for the daylight factor enough.
- What do you say we turn in? - Yeah, but we're so darn close.
I mean, it's just a matter of proper settings.
Well, this thing isn't going anywhere, and we'll be fresh in the morning.
- Come on.
- Okay.
We have to increase the intensity and cut down on the duration.
It's a question of juggling it around.
Well, it's trial and error.
- What are you doing? - Shh! Keep your voice down, you tarnished trumpet.
Or better still, make no noise at all.
Just listen.
I will call out the dial readings, and you will record them.
For what purpose? I merely wish to make it appear that there will be insufficient food so that the boy will be more inclined towards self-sacrifice and the acceptance of Marvello's offer.
I cannot accept that course of action.
You can and you will.
Just do as you're told and remember these figures.
Top bank from left to right-- Bottom bank from left to right-- - Do you have that? - Yes.
I must warn you to change nothing.
They are close to the final solution.
Of course they are.
And I wouldn't dream of jeopardizing their calculations not for anything in the world.
But to delay them a little is to give that dear boy a chance for the career he so richly deserves.
And once I've departed this miserable vale you can restore this machine to its proper settings, and no harm done.
Now, let's see.
There.
There.
That should do it.
What you have done is wrong.
Spare me the moralizations, you sanctimonious scatterbrain.
And remember, you are to keep quiet about this.
Not even a whisper.
And now, I have work to do of a much happier sort.
Since I shall be getting No, I think 20 would be more equitable since I shall negotiate a rather large sum for his efforts.
Or perhaps 30.
No, 40 since the boy would have no chance at all except for me.
I've always been the quintessence of fairness.
Fifty-fifty.
- Now what could've gone wrong? - Beats me.
I want you to take an inventory of all the food capsules, supplements, everything.
- And then we'll draw up some caloric charts.
- It's that bad then? We're gonna have a drastic food reduction until we know what's wrong with that machine.
For the benefit of the general welfare and despite my dreadful pangs of hunger - I shall forego breakfast.
- There won't be any breakfast.
We're going on emergency rations immediately.
Without the plants, there's a four-day supply of food.
I checked.
Unfortunately, that is so.
Would you care to take a little stroll, my dear boy? Sometimes a walk in the fresh air is conducive to creative thinking.
- I guess so.
- It's an impossible situation, my boy and the statistics are against us.
Even at minimum rations, our food supply will be exhausted in four days.
And it should take at least two weeks to repair the machine, more likely three.
Maybe I could eat less.
That's a noble idea, my boy, but they would never permit it.
I thought to sacrifice myself.
I demeaned myself to the point of auditioning for Marvello's troupe in the hope that they would take me along, and thus there would be one mouth less here to feed.
- But, alas, they turned me down.
- He wants me to go with him.
- You? - I can make things materialize.
Perish the thought.
It's out of the question.
- I forbid it.
- But you were willing to go.
I don't matter.
Oh, Will.
I couldn't bear to see you spinning out there all alone in space without the company of a loved one to guide your footsteps.
But there's no other way, is there? You're a fine and noble lad and immensely practical.
I cannot shrink from my responsibility.
I shall make the supreme sacrifice and accompany you.
- You will? - Yes.
And that will provide an extra margin of food that will insure the survival of your family.
I suggest we inform Marvello of our decision.
- Yes, sir.
- You're a stout lad.
Come along, my boy.
I must say that I am delighted with your joining our troupe.
We can look forward to a success such as the universe has never seen before.
- Yes, sir.
- I suggest you run along and find Fenestra.
She can begin to instruct you in some of the finer points of showmanship.
Yes, sir.
It occurs to me, my dear Marvello that there are still some minor points to be considered.
For instance, I think it might not be amiss to put a banner across the front of your stage reading, in quite large type "Dr.
Zachary Smith presents," and in quite small type, "Will Robinson.
" We can discuss these things on our journey, Dr.
Smith.
And speaking of our journey, we will be departing at precisely noon tomorrow when the time window is open for our takeoff.
Not one second earlier or later will do.
I suggest you have the boy here You may rely upon me, sir.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I really must leave.
There is, after all, a great deal of packing to be done.
Surreptitiously, of course.
We wouldn't want to alarm the others, if you understand me.
- Oh, I understand you.
- The future does indeed seem bright with promise veritably glowing with it.
And I can guarantee you, my dear Marv-- [ Screaming .]
Let me go! Let me go! - [ Screaming .]
- No! No! No! - Are you hurt? - No.
No, I'm quite all right.
It's a good thing I have an iron constitution.
That would've killed a lesser man.
- [ Growling .]
- [ Screaming .]
Can't I say good-bye to them, Dr.
Smith? I do understand, my boy, but they would never allow you to make the sacrifice.
And even if they assented to your going it would cause them grievous and unbearable pain.
Yeah.
I guess so.
It must be at least 11:30.
We can no longer delay.
I suggest that you go first, and I'll follow.
Are you feeling all right, Will? Yeah, sure.
I just wanted to tell you that-- Well, I like having you for a sister.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Penny? Penny, I thought you might like to have this.
You're giving me your frog? Yeah.
Well, I'm gettin' kind of tired of it.
Don't overfeed him.
What's got into him? I don't know.
You want something, son? No, sir.
Oh.
Now what was that for? - Nothing.
- Are you up to something? Marvello's leaving this morning.
I'd like to go say good-bye to him.
Well, all right, but come right back.
John, by any chance did you change the settings on the dials? No.
We had an 0.
3 setting on the variable filter, now, didn't we? - That's right.
What's the matter? - Yeah.
I don't know, but we've got a 6.
3 now.
Did any of you touch that machine, even accidentally? - I haven't been near it.
- Neither have I.
I haven't touched it.
- Did you alter the settings on the dial? - I did not.
- Do you know what happened to them? - Yes.
But I cannot tell you.
Despite my weakened condition, I shall go out and hunt some edible berries for us all.
Someone changed the settings on the dial, Doctor.
Good heavens! Who could've done such a thing? Of all the idiotic, bonehead things to do, Smith.
Tell me -- Why would you mess up our food supply when you know you'll go hungry with the rest of us? How dare you accuse me, Major.
I've been your scapegoat long enough.
The moment anything untoward occurs, I become your emotional football.
- Well, let me tell you-- - The truth, Smith, because the Robot saw everything.
He's just trying to incriminate me.
That's what he's trying to do.
You Judas.
- I ordered you to keep silent! - He did.
- He didn't say anything, but you are.
- [ Gasping .]
Well, Doctor, just where do you think you're going? Will had to have his chance.
It was absolutely vital.
And he'd never have gone unless he had a compelling reason.
Will? Do you mean he's gone off with them? I was to go along with him and watch over him.
- When do they leave? - At noon.
Don, get the lasers.
We'll try to stop them.
You're not in jeopardy, I assure you.
How could you think I would place my dear friends in jeopardy? The Robot has the proper settings for the machine.
If anything happens to my son - I'm going to skin you alive.
- Let's go.
Come on.
I was only trying to help the dear boy.
Only trying to help.
You traitor! We only have five minutes.
We must hurry.
I know it's difficult to leave the things that are familiar.
But after you've been with us for a time, the sadness will fade and the past will be replaced by the plaudits of the crowds and the love of millions.
- Do you have a radio communicator on board? - Why, yes.
After we leave, would you mind if I called and talked to my parents one last time? - Not at all, my boy.
- Dr.
Marvello! Will! - We've come for Will.
- Stand back, I warn you! - Get on board and start the engines.
- Everybody, wait here.
Son, Smith tricked you.
The purification machine will work.
There'll be plenty of food.
Let me go! Let me go! No! You're going with me! He belongs to me now.
- I'll give you one last chance to avoid destruction.
- Let him go, Marvello.
We don't intend to let you take him.
[ Roaring .]
Save your laser beams.
The monster is impervious to them.
Will, get over here! Out of his way! No, Dad, stay back.
I know what I'm doing.
I know you can control him, Dr.
Marvello.
Fenestra, help me, please! Stop it! Stop it! I'll do anything you ask.
I'll go with you.
But, please, stop him! No! No! No! - Get back there.
You're not going with him.
- I gave him my word.
No.
I couldn't take you with me, even if I wished.
I saw in you the makings of a star.
But the only great performer is the one who puts his heart into his work.
You could never do that because your heart's here with your family.
Do me one small favor, my friend.
Take this as a remembrance.
And if you should ever get back to Earth, tell all your friends that you have witnessed one of the marvels of the universe-- The Miracle Extravaganza of Dr.
Marvello.
It won't hurt any to pave the way just in case I find myself in the vicinity.
Adieu! Come, my dear.
[ Engines Firing Up .]
- Oh.
What's that he gave you? - I don't know.
Do you know what it is, Dad? It appears to be some kind of celestial Annie Oakley.
- Annie Oakley? - Oh, that's an old-fashioned expression for a lifetime pass to Marvello's show.
And they'll be back.
I know it.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
As I always say, all's well that ends well.
Oh, no, you don't, Smith.
You're not getting off that easy.
John, can you think of a suitable punishment for our good doctor? I have the perfect one in mind.
Very well.
Get on with it.
One and two and three and-- - Well? - It's still all clear outside, Dr.
Smith.
Good.
There.
Steady.
Steady.
Keep up a steady flow of current.
If my efforts are not satisfactory then I suggest you do the job yourself.
Mind your manners and you'll keep your friends, you mental midget.
Dad said never to use the Robot as a power supply, Dr.
Smith.
I'm sure he wouldn't mind if he knew this alcohol was for medicinal purposes.
If it's all right, why don't you tell Dad and the others what you're doing? Yes.
Why do you sneak out in the dead of night to work at your liquor still? Liquor still indeed.
How dare you! And as for keeping this project a secret, I just thought it would be so nice to surprise everyone.
Dr.
Smith, the little old winemaker.
Spare me your asinine asides, you pathetic pomposity.
Can't you generate any more power? You will have to reverse cycles.
Oh, good heavens! I have to do everything myself.
There.
Now-- And there.
No! Good heavens! Stop at once! Stop it! Do you hear? Oh, dear! It's all your fault.
Wasting good wine, you inept idiot.
Indeed.
How is it, Dr.
Smith? Hmm.
Considering the fact that this beverage was prepared from kookaberries instead of from grapes, it's not altogether bad.
- When it reaches maturity, we should have an excellent-- - [ Robot .]
Warning! Alien presence! Warning! Alien presence! Warning.
Alien presence indeed.
It appears to me that you have alien presence on the mind lately.
However, William would you be good enough to go and have a look? Dr.
Smith, we know something's out there.
- The Robot's never wrong.
- Sometimes he is.
I'd go myself, you see but this is a critical time in wine-making-- you do understand.
[ Screams .]
Well, do something, you cowardly clump! Protect us! My power supply has been drained.
It is extremely low.
He hasn't got enough energy for an electrical charge.
[ Screams .]
Help! Help! Help!