Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s02e05 Episode Script

PETER: Good news, Grand Commissioner.
We have located the target.
I remind you, Peter Quill, that this "target" is my daughter.
And she must arrive on Rigel-3 in time for her coming-of-age ceremony.
I expect you to treat her with the respect that befits her station.
Ha, don't worry.
Drax and Gamora will flush her out.
And then (GASPS) Rocket, the Rigellian Grand Commissioner is paying us four million units to escort his daughter, the princess, home.
Yeah? This is my fanciest sack! I am Groot! Good point, bud.
She ain't gonna care.
Rigellians got no emotions! (SCREAMING) (CLATTERING) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (GRUNTING) Stop, Princess.
I mean you no harm.
Who Who are you? I am Drax the Destroyer.
"Destroyer"? Uh, but perhaps you should address me as simply Drax.
Oh, hey, Drax? Don't forget, Rigellians are telekinetic.
(GRUNTS) She is making that fact extremely difficult to forget.
(PANTING) (WOMEN SCREAMING) Quill, we have a problem.
Princess Tana has taken refuge in the one place even Drax the Destroyer dare not enter.
LUNATIK: Yo, Quill! What's the deal? Huh? Trying to snatch my best customer? Lu! Hey! Long time no see, buddy.
Don't "buddy" me! That wrecking ball you call Drax is trashing my club! You want Princess T? You're gonna have to go through me! Works for me.
Works for me, too.
And so does he! (GROWLING) Okay, this doesn't work for me.
(GRUNTING) (YELLING) Yo, Draxy! We could use your destroying skills out here! I have a delicate situation in here.
(GROANS) Never mind.
We'll just come to you.
(GRUNTING) Princess Tana, I presume? (GRUNTS) What Who How Think you're the first club-crawler to sneak out a bathroom window? Let go! I have a right to party! You remind me of Peter Quill.
- Who? - It's not a compliment.
(GRUNTS) - Quill, she's on the move! - I am Groot! (CROWD SCREAMING) I saw nothing! (GRUNTS) Please resume powdering your noses.
Or other breathing appendages.
I am Groot! (HORN BLARING) (GRUNTS) If you do not cooperate, you will miss your coming-of-age ceremony.
TANA: Well, duh! Why do you think I'm on Conjunction in the first place? Apparently, to behave monstrously and spend your father's money.
And in two days, I will officially be an adult.
Then nobody can make me go through the Centering! (THUDDING) Huh? Then it is fortunate we will get you home before that time.
(GRUNTING) A simple "thank you" would suffice.
(AIRCRAFT APPROACHING) Behold! Your transport home has arrived.
(SCREAMING) PETER: Know what would've been helpful, El Commissioner Grand-a-mentay? Warning us the princess is a hard-partying, ship-stealing, out-of-control brat! I mean, respectful.
Admittedly, she is rather an embarrassment to the royal family.
But I dispense information on a need-to-know basis.
Speaking of which, a group of Rigellian rebels, calling themselves "The Empathetics" are based somewhere in the system, so do try to avoid contact with them.
It is imperative that Tana be home in time to undergo the Centering.
- Anything else? - Try not to antagonize her.
Negative emotions will manifest in unfortunate ways.
(TANA SCREAMING) I hate you! Leave me alone! (SCREAMING) Hey! I don't take kindly to temper tantrums that cause explosive decompression! So, knock it off, or spend the rest of the trip in a pocket dimension.
That will not be necessary.
Please, don't take me home.
You don't understand what it's like to deal with a strict father.
I was raised by the Mad Titan, Thanos.
I helped bury him at the center of a planet.
That is awesome.
But, look.
I can make it worth your while.
(BEEPING) Enough talk of escape.
We swore an oath to the Grand Commissioner.
I am Groot.
Go that right, bud.
We didn't swear no oath.
What ya offering? Whatever he's paying you, I'll double.
(BEEPING) Oh.
He closed my account! Oh, well.
Plan "A" it is.
Back to Daddy's lovin' arms.
If you try to force me home, I'll make your lives so miserable you'll have to get rid of me.
(SCOFFS) We've faced some of the worst lowlifes in the galaxy.
Nothing you can do can faze us.
(SCREAMING) Worry not.
I will watch over her.
(TANA SCREAMS) Oh! (CLATTERS) Who's gonna watch over you? (DOOR OPENS) I am Groot.
(SIGHS) I will clean that up for you.
Perhaps you can reuse them.
Oh! Come on, Princess! - Time to get off the throne! - My eyeballs are floatin' here! (BOTH GROANING) Let me in! (GRUNTS) (CLANKING) GAMORA: Out, now.
I will handle this.
- Out of my way, Quill! - I gotta go! But I gotta go more! (BOTH GRUNTING) Whoa! Hey! Hey! Those are my grenades you're juggling! (YELLS) (THUDDING) (GRUNTING) DRAX: Princess, you should not tamper with dangerous explosives, or rodents.
(EXCLAIMING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! You did that on purpose! Allow me.
I have observed you perform this Earth ritual many times.
(WHIRRING) Your actions toward us are hostile, but your face displays fear.
Is this related to the Centering ceremony you wish to avoid? What do you know about it? My people also have a coming-of-age ritual.
One my own daughter would be undertaking about now.
She would be roughly your age.
So what? Am I supposed to care? That's it! You're nothing but a spoiled brat.
And you, a spineless coddler! I was raised by Thanos, you little gronkah.
(GRUNTS) You're a princess! You're supposed to set an example for your people! - (GROWLING) - But you can't, because you don't care about anyone's feelings but your own! Well, they're my feelings! You can't take them from me! Ship's hull can't take much more of this stress! (SCREAMING) I hate you! Leave me alone! (GRENADES BEEPING) (EXPLOSION) (ALL GRUNTING) I am Groot! (ALARM BLARING) Never having kids.
(ALL STRAINING) Yo, Groot, put a cork in that hull breach! (STRAINING) (ALL GRUNTING) I remember what Yondu would tell me whenever I put a hole in his ship.
"You need to go nighty-night, boy-o.
" (POWERING UP) (COUGHING) Oh, man! Blew right back in my face.
(GROANS) (BOTH GRUNTING) I won't let you take me home.
I'll wreck your whole ship if I have to! Not gonna happen.
Groot, uncork! (GRUNTS) (BOTH GRUNTING) Rocket, you just sent the princess into space! We don't get paid if she explodes in a vacuum.
That's why I got the sack.
Ah, you have awakened.
(EXHALES) - What happened? - You threw a tantrum, as would my own daughter when she was tired or hungry.
This is Mr.
Rhinopus.
He belonged to my Camaria.
She would've been around your age had she I thought perhaps he would make you feel better.
You have rested.
Now you must eat.
Why are you being nice to me? I am concerned for your well-being.
I'm not hungry.
Your behavior suggests otherwise.
Don't tell me what to do! (CLATTERS) (SCREAMS) Why is a nearly-adult Rigellian so unable to control herself, or her telekinetic abilities? You sound just like my dad! Your father sounds like a wise man.
Well, he's not, okay? (CLATTERING) And I don't care what he says.
I won't do the Centering.
Just Just let me go.
You could say I knocked you out.
Drax the Destroyer does not lie, or get knocked out.
I thought you cared about me.
This is why I will not let you run out on your responsibilities.
Just like your father will not.
Right.
Like you're such a great dad.
Where's your precious little Camaria now? - Oh, that's right.
She's - You do not speak her name! She was taken from me by Ronan! And this is all you have to remember her by? DRAX: No! (AIRCRAFT WHOOSHING) Drax, are you all right? I am unharmed, physically.
The princess flew the coop.
We are not letting all those units I mean, "Tana" get away.
I will retrieve her.
I am at fault for letting her escape.
Yeah.
And how'd that happen? (ALL GASPING) I am Groot! Not Mr.
Rhinopus! I'm going with you.
That brat will pay for this.
(WHOOSHING) (BEEPING) Her pod signal's this way.
(ALL CHEERING) JUKKA: Empathetics, ready Aim and fire! (WHOOPING) JUKKA: Aw, come on! You can do better than that! Let's bring some pain! (WHOOPING) This is not what I expected.
I can see why the Grand Commissioner wants Tana to control her powers.
(ALL CHEERING) So good! So good! - Oh, yeah! Oh, I love it! - Excuse me.
- What did I tell you? That girl is crazy! - Excuse me! - She's nuts! I love her! - Have you seen - Hey! - (GRUNTS) Back off! (GROANING) (GRUNTING) (PANTING) (LAUGHING) What is so funny? (LAUGHS) That was awesome for a flatliner.
You know, a non-TK-er.
Who are you people, and why the random destruction? Name's Jukka.
We're Empathetics.
And this is hardcore training for, like, revolution and whatnot.
You overgrown children are the Rigellian rebels? Flarg, yeah, we're rebels! Fight the power! And, oh, you might wanna look down.
(GASPS) (LAUGHING) Whoo-hoo! (LAUGHS) Yeah! (ALL CHEERING) (WHOOPING) (LAUGHING) ALL: (CHANTING) Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! (ALL CHEERING) (GRUNTS) (CLATTERING) It is unsportsmanlike to crush your friend when he is down.
ALL: Whatever, Grandpa.
(ALL CHEERING) Whoo-hoo! - Tana! - Whoo! Why would you endanger your life like this? I'm having fun.
Lighten up.
Whoo! I would never allow my daughter to behave so irresponsibly.
I am not your daughter! (GROANING) - This geezer bothering you, Tana? - Yeah.
He's ruining everything.
This does not concern you.
I think it does.
Empathetics, you know what to do.
(GRUNTS) JUKKA: Now that we got ourselves an easy target, time to bring on the pain.
Lots of pain! ALL: (CHANTING) Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! JUKKA: Let's crush this flatliner! (CHANTING CONTINUES) ALL: (CHANTING) Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! (GRUNTING) (ALL CHEERING) Yeah! All right! (GRUNTS) (GROANING) (GRUNTING) Let's toss 'em in the proton drive.
It'll make a great light show when they vaporize.
(ALL CHEERING) Wait.
Stop! Step away, Tana.
We just want a little entertainment.
No, Jukka.
This isn't right.
(GRUNTS) (GROANS) I'll let you go, if you swear to leave me alone.
You cannot demand promises under threat.
I have responsibilities, as do you to your people.
Even these people.
(RUMBLING) (ALL GASPING) Oh, no.
(AIRCRAFT APPROACHING) How did they find us? We tracked your pods and gave the Commish a heads-up.
You're welcome.
GRAND COMMISSIONER: Attention, disorderly rabble.
Return Princess Tana immediately, or face the consequences.
You're not the boss of us, old man! Empathetics rule! (ALL CHEERING) GRAND COMMISSIONER: Ready weapons.
Telekinetic cannons online.
Father, don't do this! I will not harm them, daughter, if you agree to come along peacefully and return home for your Centering.
Don't listen to him, Tana! You know what they'll do to you! Yes.
They will help you control your powers.
Don't you get it, man? The Centering helps Rigellians control their powers by stripping them of emotions.
She'll never feel anger, or joy, or fear, or love.
I am Groot? Eh, probably just rebel propaganda.
Uh, excuse me, Your Grand Commissioner-ness, but, like, is that really what the Centering does? Telekinetic powers require great discipline and judgment.
Emotions interfere with that.
And a princess rejecting our ways poses a threat to the stability of our society.
That's what you meant when you said we couldn't take your feelings.
This is no different from what Thanos did to me, wiping my family from my memories so I could serve him without question.
I can't let that happen to anyone else.
Even a spoiled brat.
- (GASPS) - No.
As Tana pointed out, she is not my daughter.
Her family has the right to do what they feel is best for her.
Family without emotion, without love, is nothing but imprisonment.
GRAND COMMISSIONER: Look at those you stand with.
Their unfiltered emotions cause wanton destruction.
I am trying to ensure my daughter's safety, and that of all my people.
Is that not love? That said, if Tana will not come of her own choosing, then I will have no choice but to take her by force.
(ALL CLAMORING) Tana! (GRUNTING) Force this, bubble-heads! Fire up the proton drive! (BEEPING) (ALARM BEEPING) Here's an idea, Quill.
Why don't ya steer us out of the line of fire? (ALL CHEERING) Look! GRAND COMMISSIONER: Order will be maintained.
Neutralize the rebels.
(ALL SCREAMING) (GRUNTING) (STRAINING) Drax, what would you want for Camaria? Wouldn't you want her to be able to make her own choices? (GRUNTING) (GASPS) (GASPS) Help me! (BOTH GRUNTING) You may not be my daughter, but I will protect you as if you were.
(GASPS) (CRYING) No harm will come to you, Tana, so swears Drax the Destroyer.
(BEEPING) What is that? Yes! It's my birthday! GRAND COMMISSIONER: It is indeed.
Release them.
GRAND COMMISSIONER: Tana, I now recognize you as a legal adult.
And though I believe you have made a grave error, you are free to decide your fate.
I hope you will do so wisely.
So Uh, no revolution? Apparently not today.
Okay.
Well, at least, we got the princess on our side.
That's a win! Whoo! (ALL CHEERING) Actually, I think I need to go back to Rigel-3.
(CHEERING STOPS) You were right, Drax.
I have a responsibility to my people.
All of my people.
And while it is true that young Rigellians must learn discipline and self-control, it is also true that emotions and feelings have value in shaping a just society with empathy and compassion.
We will find a way together.
I could not be more pleased if she were truly my own daughter.
I could, if we truly got the units we're owed.
Yeah, about that.
Uh, since we technically missed the deadline to deliver the princess, we're not, you know, actually getting paid.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) (GROWLING) I am Groot! But we did get a package.
It is from Tana.
"Dear Mr.
Destroyer," "thank you for taking an interest in my well-being.
" "I know that any girl would be proud and lucky" "to have you as a father.
" Ha! She is an excellent diplomat.
And a fine seamstress.