Metalocalypse (2006) s02e05 Episode Script

# You'll take them down # # One by one # # Walk # # Walk # # Walk # # Walk # # Walk # # Walk # # Walk # # I # # Would kill # # To have your face # # I # # Would kill # # To have your body # # I # # Would kill # # To have your skull # # I # # Would kill # # To have your skin # This is only a portion of the footage.
that is now known as the Dethklok Dethfashion Bloodbath.
Dethklok has made it clear that they now have.
a great interest in the fashion and clothing industry.
We want to make the most brutal clothing.
in recorded history.
We plan on making clothes metal, literally and figuratively.
That's all! Dethklok has gone above and beyond to acquire the designer.
to realize their clothing line, Eric von Wiechlinghammer convicted of brutally starving He's been vilified in the media even movies have been made.
The apocalypse is coming! We must stay underground until then, and no eating! We will fit into my skinny pants.
Von Wiechlinghammer has been paroled alarming early.
from prison by the German government.
to work with Dethklok on their new clothing line.
Even though we are venturing into the world of fashion I assure you all, I am not gay.
# Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! # It appears as if Dethklok is entering.
the world of Fashion.
There's talk that they helped.
to release Eric von Wiechlinghammer the notorious fashion murderer, from prison.
Research shows that most fashion designers.
have either been brutally beaten or mentally abused as children.
They dance on the brink of madness.
If Dethklok chooses what pants, shoes and shirts we wear, then god help us all.
Let the blackness that is the fashion industry.
take its intended path.
My god, how could you eat that? What are you talking about, it's a hot dog.
How could you even put that in your mouth? You trying to tell me you never had a hot dog? No.
Never, never.
No way, I ain't putting anything shaped like that in my mouth.
What about banana? No! What about sausage? No, not sausage.
What about a sausage that was cut up.
in little pieces? Uh, no, 'cause it looks like a chopped-up.
What about like a sandwich? A flat one? Yeah.
Yeah, a flat sandwich.
Okay, what about a sandwich shaped like a dick? No! That's the point! What kind of sandwiches are shaped like dicks? I don't know.
Like a It's a hot dog.
No.
Man, you think about penises in mouths all the time don't you? Shut up! God! Well, you do.
Give me my wipes.
Well, you did.
You said "penis" and "mouth" about 100 times today.
No, because it was like "oh, you've never had a hot dog.
" I just wanted to say, "no," and it would be fine, and then "what about this? What about that? That's like a dick.
That's like a dick.
" You guys do it all.
Wow, you really keep thinking about dick all day long.
Yeah, you do keep bringing up the subject.
You bring it up! I just said I don't.
No, I wanted it over.
God.
I would eat the hot dogs.
Just putting that out there.
Hey, am I going crazy or are these clothes really tight? Like, extra-tight? Yeah, it feels like I'm the sausage.
Aw, just stop with the innuendos, please.
It wasn't I just said you leaps to a conclusions.
These clothes are un Comfortable.
Well mines fit.
- Oh Toki shut the - Toki shut up.
Brutal I can't even zip up these pants.
Perhaps the measurements you sent were incorrect.
These are very fat gentlemans.
I will have to remeasure you.
Oh, dear.
Waist, 38.
Dear god, I'm normally like 30 20.
I'm like 17 Ugh.
Then it would appear that you've put on a little weight.
These clothes are brutal.
Oh, there.
Look at all of you.
You're much heavier than I was led to believe you were.
You didn't lie on your measurement charts, did you? What? How dare you! I am appalled that you would say such a thing but yeah, we probably lied.
I based the clothing on this picture in your last album.
You look completely different in person.
Well, I may have been slightly airbrushed.
Yeah, my pecs needed a little girths.
Whatevers.
- I am disappointed in all of you.
- Evens Toki? You're all a bunch of liars, a bunch of fat liars.
You'll have to lose weight.
I cannot let these clothes out.
It is a very Rare leather.
Now be gone! You all wanted to see me? I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna say it.
We are having a weight problem.
Too fat to fit in our own clothing line.
You all look exactly the same as usual.
He's saying that we've always been this fat.
I never used the word "fat.
" - It gets inside your heads, guys.
- That's what he does.
Look you called me in here for a reason, what do you want? We need to lose weight, all right? Okay, fine, we'll get you on an exercise regimen cut out fatty foods and sugar What the are you talking about? - It's the only way to lose weight.
- Regimen.
that, I'd rather die of fatness.
Me too, I second that.
- I'd rather die than cut out sugar.
- Me too.
You all feel this way? Yeah.
Well, uh, have fun being fat.
If you change your minds, I'll hire a personal trainer.
I got stuff to do.
Okay, we need to figure out this food bull.
Toki, Skwisgaar, you did some online food research.
Let's hear it.
Ok, everyone says on this page that we gots.
to cuts out thems "carcobadrates.
" Yeah, no more of thems "carbokigrates.
" What are "carcomimrates"? Oh, you know, like the "pisgetti.
" Breads.
Paper towels.
- Kleenex and that.
- Oh, that's easy, no more of that stuff.
Can't we just have a little bread? I mean, we don't have to be hunger Nazis to our stomachs.
Lets be reasonable, I mean a sandwich here or there.
All rights, whatever, you know? Yeah, okay.
Also, it says that we the less we eat the mores less fat we get at ourselves.
So we starve ourselves a little.
That's no problem.
That's fine.
Sure, sure.
What if we just ate one really big meal.
and then eat nothing the rest of the day? Hmm, well Yeah, that sounds like it'll work.
Yeah, that's good, I guess.
Maybe we should eat that meal right before we go to sleep.
so there's nothing left to do but digest.
That sounds like a good idea.
So you just sleep it off.
Yeah, your body's just digesting.
We'd be losing weight by sleeping.
Oh, that's good ideas.
How about popsicles for snacks.
when we're not having our one big meal? Ain't that the shape of a you-know-what? Yeah.
Popsicles are Guys, I don't know.
That does not sound right.
Skwisgaar, Skwisgaar.
Popsicles are like drinking a glass of water, okay? What are we supposed to do, cut out water, too? Yeah, come on, what are we supposed to do on a hot day? What, not eat popsicles? How could you not eat a popsicle? All right.
All right.
"Popscockles" we can have.
All right! Popsicles! Okay, so let me get this straight.
One really big meal a day, then we got to sleep.
No paper towels, but a little bit of bread.
because we're not Nazis, and as many popsicles as we want? Uh, yeah.
Dudes, we're on a diet.
- I'm starting to get really hungry.
- Let's get something to eat.
- Let's get a pepperoni pizza.
- Extra cheese! Yorick, Gunter, bring me more of my special leather.
My lord, I am afraid that we have run out.
We must get more special leather.
This is wonderful German news.
The line is launching.
We must be prepared.
Go.
It's been quite a stunning month for the metal band now fashion gurus Dethklok.
After releasing their brutal clothing line to the public stores immediately sold out and are eagerly awaiting more.
Who has the remote? Put it on the Food Network.
I'm starving.
Oh, what are we doing this for? We're just teasing our selves.
We've got to lose weight by now.
Let's just go to the scale.
You've all put on about Evens me? Oh, Toki, shut up.
That's impossible.
Your one meal a day slowed down your metabolism.
to a grinding halt so your body held on to everything you gave it.
Popsicles are just pure sugar.
So, they's pure great! Look, they made you fat.
Whatever.
The only one I'm concerned about is you, Murderface.
Your enamel on your teeth is disintegrating.
That's probably 'cause I was hawking up my food.
But then you would have lost weight.
Well, I was hungry again.
So I had to eat.
What is with you, the Spanish Inquisition? Spanish, yeah, rice.
Spanish rice, yeah.
This is upsetting.
I think we should go have.
another secret meet-and-eat in the closet.
Come on, guys.
Oh, I'm so ashamed of myself.
Havings to eat in the closet! I need a cupcakes to calms me down.
TOKl: Whats am I sitting on? Oh, those are my puke bags.
I honk in them and store them here.
on account of I'm ashamed and stuff.
We should pick a different closet.
than Murderface's next time we have a meet-and-eat.
Pickles, what are you doing over there? I'm just locking the door.
If someone finds us here, we're gonna get in trouble.
This is pathetic.
I mean We're eating here like a bunch of scared, fat, hungry pigs.
Yeah.
It all started when Wiechlinghammer.
made the comment about us being fat.
It's his fault! TOKl: You're right, it's Von Wiechlinghammer's fault.
We got to let Von Wiechlinghammer go.
Feel bad doing it.
He's such a good pal.
Let's go do it.
What? Nothing.
Big deal.
We wish you had called.
Now is bad time.
Next time, please call.
You mustn't disturb the master.
Don't be a dick, be a dude.
Let us in here.
What are you doing here? No! Oh, my god! What a horrible you're fired, by the way.
Oh, god! Chirp.