Mr Inbetween (2018) s02e05 Episode Script

1 - You all right? - ALLY: Yup.
BRUCE: Mm.
[BRUCE AND ALLY LAUGH SOFTLY.]
- RAY: Um - Which way? RAY: It's down here.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ALLY LAUGHS.]
[ALLY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Can you see? Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- So if you just pop in.
- Just pop in.
- Yeah.
- ALLY [LAUGHING.]
: Out.
- BRITTANY: Uh, I don't know.
You don't know.
- Hydrated something.
- [WHISPERING.]
: Hey, Brittany.
Britt.
Shh.
Okay.
- See it? - Uh-huh.
All right, you want to go on in? [BIRDS SINGING.]
[RAY WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY.]
Come on.
Yeah, okay.
Isn't she gorgeous? - Yeah.
- She's beautiful.
Look at these colors in her mane they're amazing.
Dad, come on.
- You gonna come on? - No, uh, you go.
- She's so soft.
- Yeah.
Can we take her home? I don't think she'll fit in the car, love.
[CHUCKLES.]
Put that down.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BIRDS SINGING.]
Dad, look.
It's unicorn poo.
Dirty.
All right, better get going, love.
- So - But I want to stay.
Yeah, I know, but we'll we'll come back another day, all right? Okay.
Bye.
[WHISPERING.]
: I will never forget you.
Let's go, eh? - [GRUNTS.]
- Look.
- Oh, that's cool.
- Wow.
Beauty.
- ALLY: You want a hand? - Yeah.
[GRUNTING SOFTLY.]
- Just watch it - I'm okay.
Yeah, yeah.
- You got it? - Yeah.
[LEAVES RUSTLING.]
[SOFT CLATTERING.]
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
[WHISPERING.]
: Hey.
Hey.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
Good girl.
Good girl.
Yeah, good girl.
Good girl.
You want to get this horn off, eh? Let me.
Come on.
There you go.
There you go.
- [GROANS.]
- [WHINNIES.]
Oh.
Fuck.
[DOORBELL PLAYS A TUNE.]
How ya going? Can we have a word outside? Sure.
[RAY HUMS A TUNE.]
What's up? Brit said you had the sex talk with her? Yup.
Look, I'm not having a go at you, but don't you think it's important that if you're gonna have those kind of conversations with her, you at least flag it with me first? Well, I couldn't flag it with you 'cause she caught us having sex.
Oh.
Where were you having sex? - Does it matter? - No, just What, do you think we're having sex - in front of her or something? - No.
- I just It's just - [DOOR OPENS.]
BRITTANY: Hi.
- Hello.
- Are we going bowling? Are we going bowling? Um I don't know.
I don't know if I'm allowed to take you bowling.
- You better ask your mum.
- Mum, can we go bowling? Of course you can go bowling, sweetie.
- Cool.
- Awesome.
[GRUNTS.]
Nice.
Nice.
BRITTANY: Oh, no.
RAY: Still got a fair shake.
- I'm gonna win still.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- No, I got a key in there.
No, I'm gonna win.
No, I'm gonna start.
I'm gonna focus now.
Tonight No! Now you have 40 points.
40.
I'm catching up.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
- [KIDS CHATTERING.]
- It's fucked.
I spent an hour this morning going from place to place, just trying to find a normal breakfast.
What happened to bacon and eggs on toast? - Mm.
- Spin me.
And now it's all fuckin' smashed avo on a brioche of quail eggs served up by some Pilate weekend Pilates instructor man-bun ponce named Tristan who wants to give you a lecture - about fuckin' gluten-free and - MADDY: Faster, faster! - I gave up, man.
- Mm.
So you're living in Bondi now, eh? No, I just brought Maddy over to the beach.
I'm in Maroubra.
On your own? Me and Zoey split up.
When did this happen? - Early March.
- Thanks for telling me.
[SHORT CHUCKLE.]
You don't want to hear about that shit, mate.
So, you working? MADDY: Brittany! - Do you want me to spin you? - How come? What am I gonna do? You got to do something, man.
Can I have a drink, Dad? Sure, Mads.
What do you want? - Lemonade.
- Lemonade? What do you say? Please? Please, Dad, 'cause you are the best daddy in the universe.
Please, Dad, because you are the best dad in the universe.
- Huh? - Well-trained.
Well done.
Mm.
Brittany! Other way.
[TOILET FLUSHING.]
- What? - What's that smell? What smell? - The cigarette smell.
- Don't know.
Must be one of the neighbors.
Mum says you smoke.
Yeah, I used to smoke.
But not anymore? Mm-mmm.
Pinky swear? I'm not gonna pinky swear.
Look, I s You know - I have one occasionally, all right? - Why did you lie? 'Cause I don't want you knowing that I smoke.
- Why? - 'Cause I don't want you thinking it's okay to smoke, and then, one day, you start smoking.
No way.
Smoking's bad for you.
It gives you cancer.
- I'm not stupid.
- Yeah, well, I didn't say you were stupid.
Well, I don't want you to get cancer.
Well, I don't want to get cancer, either.
Then why don't you stop, then? 'Cause it's not bloody easy to quit.
It's addictive.
Why? Well, you got this there's this stuff called nicotine.
Now, that's a chemical, all right? And that's in the cigarettes, right? So when you smoke it, you get used to getting that nicotine.
So when you stop, the receptors in your brain don't get the nicotine anymore, and they start screaming out, and it makes you go crazy.
Well, will you stop for me? - [SIGHS.]
- Please? All right.
- Promise? - Look, I promise you I'll try to quit, okay? I can't guarantee 100% that I can do it, but I'll try, okay? Well, you need to try really, really hard.
Okay.
I promise I'll try really hard, okay? - Okay.
- Ah.
Happy now? - Yes.
- Good.
Clean your room up? - No, it's Christmas.
- You don't clean your room up, - Santa won't give you any presents.
- You told me - Santa's not real.
- Yeah, well, I won't give you any presents if you don't clean your bloody room.
- How does that sound? - [SIGHS.]
Fine.
Mm-hmm.
Bye-bye.
BRUCE: No, no.
That one.
Yeah.
Who's that from, Britt? - From Uncle Bruce.
- Okay.
Mm.
Oh, cool.
Thanks.
Is that all right? Yeah, it's great.
You're welcome, beautiful.
Do you want your present now? - You got me a present? - Mm-hmm.
Sure.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Tell Uncle Bruce what your present is, Britt.
Oh.
Um, I wrote you some jokes.
You wrote some jokes? - Mm-hmm.
- Tell him what you want to be - when you grow up.
- A stand-up comedian.
A stand-up comedian? Wow.
When did this happen? Oh, this is just what she wants to be this week, mate.
It'll, uh it'll change next week.
BRUCE: All right.
RAY: Go for it, Britt.
What's brown and sticky? I don't know.
What? A stick.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
Very good.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you asking me? I asked you.
Eh? Don't look at me, man.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Very good.
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there? Interrupting cow.
Interrup - Moo.
- Ah.
- You got me.
Very good.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Very good.
- Okay.
Bravo.
[CLAPPING.]
Very Thank you, beautiful.
Mm.
What'd you get me, man? - You? - Mm.
Oh Here we go.
Oh, you got me one of those.
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
Oh, I got you I-I got you something, but I got you two of 'em.
- Oh.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Is that for Ally? - Yeah.
Yeah? What did you get her? I made her a necklace.
- You made it? - Yeah.
She will love that.
- Um, you got all your stuff? - Mm-hmm.
Hey, mate, you sure you don't want to come? No, mate.
I'm good.
What are you gonna do? Television.
All right.
Okay.
Come on, boogaloo.
- Bye.
- Bye.
You look beautiful.
- Thanks, mate.
- Thanks.
- Not you.
- Oh.
Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, mate.
- See you in a bit.
- Yeah.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
RAY: 32.
Ah.
[CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY.]
Want to ring that bell, love? Nice house, huh? Eh? Hi! Merry Christmas.
Hi, darling.
Oh.
Oh! You didn't have to do that.
Thank you.
Come in, come in, come in.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- So, that Oh.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
Here we go.
- What's your mum's name again? - Sally.
[EXHALES.]
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Mum, this is Brittany.
- This is Ray.
- How you doing? - How you doing, Ray? - Um Oh, here.
- Hang on.
- Merry Christmas.
Welcome.
Merry Chr Yeah, merry Christmas to you, too.
- Nice house.
- Oh.
- Thank you very much.
- Sure.
Yeah.
- Did you want a sparkling apple juice? - Yes, please.
Yes.
And can I open this now, please? - Yes.
Uh-huh.
- You sure? - Okay.
- Would you like a beer? - Wine? - Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great, yeah.
Come on outside.
- Okay.
Cool.
- Yeah.
SALLY: This is where it's all happening.
TOM: So, what do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective? TRENT: What, Dad? Sherlock Bones.
- Oh, come on.
No.
- [LAUGHS.]
ALISHA: I liked the sausage one better.
TRENT: Here you go, Mum.
- [CONVERSATION CONTINUING.]
- SALLY: Thanks, love.
- [TOM LAUGHS.]
- ALLY: Terrible.
I'm sorry.
- TROY: Genius.
Genius.
- TOM: That is a cracker.
[QUIETLY.]
: Are you okay? I need a smoke.
- Well, go have one.
- Can't.
Promised Britt I'd give up.
On Christmas Day? Jesus H.
- Mm.
- Mm.
- Okay.
Good.
- TOM: Hey, Ray, ever played Secret Santa before? - No, mate.
- Oh, mate, you are in for the time of your life.
Okay, the way it works: there's 12 of us in here there's all the little cards in here - with numbers on 'em, one to 12.
- TRENT: We all know how to play, Dad.
Everybody takes a number.
Come on, Troy.
- Come on in, mate.
- Oh, sorry, Pop.
You grab a number there.
Okay, now, what's gonna happen is that whoever draws number one, they get to go up there first.
- There you go, T-Roy.
- Thanks, Pops.
Number two, they follow 'em up and they get to pick a present as well.
Now, here's where it gets interesting.
If they don't like their present, - they can swap it with number one.
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Which means number 12 is the best place to be, okay? Because you get to pick from all the other presents - at the end.
- RAY: Okay.
And here's me.
I got number four.
- Who's number one? - Aw, that's m I have it again.
Same as last year.
- Every year.
Loser.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Oh, Dad! Okay.
Can I check what they all-all are? - ALISHA: Just-just - Don't shake too hard.
- Some are breakable.
- TROY: Biscuits.
- Can I [LAUGHS.]
- Biscuits.
- TRENT: Come on, sis.
- ALLY: All right, I'll go for the thin one.
- Okay.
- TOM: Fish bowl, for sure.
ALISHA: I'm guessing a book.
What have we got? We've got - Ah.
- What is it? How to Insult People in 50 Languages.
- How useful.
- TOM: Oh, that's perfect for you, love.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Have yourself - A merry little Christmas - A lightsaber.
[WHOOSHING.]
ALISHA: What do you want to do, Zo do you want to swap it? - Let your heart be light - TOM: No! No, I don't want to Aw! Not just one two! - From now on - Block your eyes, block your eyes.
- Our troubles will be out - What is that? Oh.
- TOM: You got a good one? - Yeah.
TROY: Oh! Oh! She-Ra! - No, that's special.
- Have yourself - A merry little - Merry Christmas.
- Ooh! - Christmas Dinos.
Dino molds.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, yeah.
I'm gonna have to swap.
Sorry.
- Sorry.
- Oh! From now on - Our troubles - TOM: Oh, that's a beautiful present.
- Will be miles away - Good on ya, mate.
And lucky last, number 12 is Trent.
- Come on up here, son.
- ALLY: You're the worst.
- TOM: Come on.
- Sounds broken.
Is that the is that the "shake gently" one? - That's the "shake gently" one.
- That's-that's TROY: Bet you it's teacups.
I bet you it's teacups.
- [TRENT GRUNTS.]
- TROY: Yeah, bet you it's teacups.
Of yore - Ah, see, I told you.
- ALLY: Ah, the couple together.
See, they even look like the two of you.
That's perfect.
TRENT: Thanks, sis.
- TOM: Dino mold.
You'll love that.
- ALISHA: Take these.
- Well, Dad, those-those do look good.
- [CHATTER CONTINUING.]
- TROY: He's going for the headphones.
- ALISHA: You want Take these.
But I think I like what's in the box.
- Oh, you're not.
- SALLY: Trent.
- TOM: Trent.
- Come on.
- ALISHA: Oh, my God.
- What is wrong with him? - She's just a little kid.
- TRENT: What? - Hey, it's the rules.
- She's a kid, man.
Dude.
- Really? - ISABELLE: I want the unicorn.
TROY: What are you gonna do with a unicorn? - I don't know yet.
- TOM: All right, everybody.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let's, um l-let's, uh, clean the place up, - pick up all the papers.
- All right.
Then we'll go and have a drink outside.
- What do you say? - MIA: Merry Christmas! ALISHA: Merry Christmas! - Grab a bag, and we'll put it all in here.
- ROB: Merry Christmas.
- TOM: Good on ya, Robbie.
- ALISHA: Rob, have you been chewing yours? How's it going, dude? Yeah, good.
- Smoke? - Nah, I gave up.
Yeah, I should.
Yeah, you should.
[SNIFFS.]
Hey, you know that, uh that unicorn candle? - Yeah, it's pretty cool, isn't it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there any chance you can give it back? Why? Well, me daughter, she's kind of obsessed with unicorns at the moment.
- Yeah.
- And, uh, you know, I was hoping maybe, you know, you can give it back and, you know, I'll, uh, throw you 100 bucks or something.
You trying to bribe me to give your daughter - the unicorn candle? - I wouldn't say I'm bribing you.
More like I'm asking you a favor, you know? And if you can do it I'll show a bit of gratitude and throw you some cash.
Do I look like I need the money? I don't think you look like you need the money.
You know how much I make in a year? - Why-why are you being a dickhead? - [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, I think one of us is being a dickhead.
Why the fuck would you take a present off a little kid? You're a grown man.
What the fuck do you want with a fuckin' girly candle? Eh, 'cause it's kitchy.
It's kitchy? Yeah.
Kitchy.
Aha.
[SHORT CHUCKLE.]
Hail the new year, lads and lasses Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Sing we joyous, all together Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la Heedless of the wind and weather Trent, just I know.
- Mum? - Careful, Mum, careful.
Okay.
Dad, can you get a t BRITTANY: Hey, Dad? What happened with Ally's brother? I think he tripped over or he had a bit much to drink.
- So he was drunk? - Yeah, I think so.
How come you took the candle off him? Oh, he didn't really want it, so Should I give him my present, then? No, you keep it.
All right, love.
Kiss, kiss.
Mwah.
All right.
- See you.
- Bye.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- JACINTA: Hey.
- Hi.
- How was it? - Good.
- You have fun? - Yeah.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[KNOCKING.]
[DISHES CLACKING.]
- [DEEP BREATH.]
- I'm sorry.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Yeah.
RAY: I'm not making excuses, but Britt caught me smoking this morning, and, um, she made me promise to give up, and I hadn't smoked all day, and You know? Fair enough.
You okay? No.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
What about your bro? How's Is he all right? How do you think? Mm.
[EXHALES.]
So, you know that guy that I was engaged to, yeah? I ended that.
We were together for uh, three years.
He had demons, like you.
He used to lash out and smash things and punch walls.
And then one day he started on me.
Then he apologized and told me that he loved me, and I forgave him.
And then a few weeks later, he, um slapped me.
After that, he kicked me, punched me And every time, you know, he'd say, uh "I'm sorry.
" And told me that he loved me.
"I'm sorry.
" And he's-he's not a bad person.
I used to tell myself that all the time.
He's just He's damaged, and I thought that I could save him.
[SHORT CHUCKLE.]
And I tried, I really I really tried.
- But I couldn't.
- Mm.
There's a darkness in you.
And I think that's one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place.
But now I think I don't know, I think that the very thing I loved about you now it scares me.
I'll never hit you.
That's what he used to say.
- And I can't take that chance.
- Mm.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
So that's it? Yeah.
I'm sorry.
So am I.
I love you.
I do.
Know that.
And walking away from someone that you love is one of the hardest fucking things in the world to do.
Yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
Well [SNIFFS.]
Yeah.
All right.
Look after yourself.
You too.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
[INTRO TO "DREAMING MY DREAMS WITH YOU" PLAYING.]
I hope that I won't be That wrong anymore And maybe I've learned This time I hope that I find What I'm reaching for The way that it is In my mind Someday I'll get over you I'll live To see it all through But I'll always miss