Offspring (2010) s02e05 Episode Script

Wish I'd never heard of sperm donors.
I wish there was some magical way to get Mick's genes into a tadpole that can swim.
What about Mick's brother? - Sorry, who are you? - Andrew.
- You're Mick's brother? - Yeah.
Your family hates me, hey? Scared I'm gonna steal your little brother away.
- No-one hates you.
- I'm here to stay.
You two obviously have a thing.
It's fine, it's none of my business.
You know, in your first 24 hours you've undermined me, questioned my professionalism, called me insecure and rebuffed any attempt for me to be nice to you.
I'm not sure about him - in the doctor department.
I'm just not sure he's got the goods.
Talk about a doctor self-destructing.
I can do this, I separate my personal feeling from my professional duty all the time.
Oh! Was it a one-off mistake or a warning sign he'll never cut it as an obstetrician? He may just need a frank review and some good, pragmatic support.
It could also be that I lack the essential qualities that an obstetrician needs.
Don't make it any worse for yourself.
All students make mistakes.
But the real problem is this is a student you also happen to be having sex with.
- What are you doing here? - You must really care what I think.
No.
I don't.
Can can you stop looking at me, please? Did you see his face? You can't put your feelings for your boyfriend ahead of your patients' wellbeing.
What are your feelings for me? Oh, um I'm I'm trying to You knew right from the start you should never have got involved with a student.
Yep.
That was pretty dumb.
What does your brother like? Italian guys.
To eat.
Well, does he have a boyfriend now? How should I know? It's been years since I knew what was going on in his life.
We should probably find out.
I mean, if we're asking him for sperm.
Plus, I have to make a booking.
Hey, are we sure about this? Well, it's it's poetic.
I mean, it's two estranged brothers who need each other to have a baby.
What I'm saying is with an anonymous donor we get the sperm without the estranged brothers part.
Yeah, but with an anonymous donor, that's like getting a dog from a pound.
But with Andrew, it's like getting a pedigree puppy from a breeder because we know the genetic line is good.
We know who the bitch and the sire were.
Well, I got Rocket from the pound and he's the best thing that ever walked on four legs.
I think we should go to the pub.
We'll just have the the home ground advantage.
I don't want you to get disappointed if he says no.
OK? OK.
We might have some sperm.
We might.
Hey, Andrew.
It's Billie.
So did I wake you? OK.
Um, for tonight, um, am I booking for three people or for four? OK.
So just to confirm that there's no special boyfriend or So you know where the pub is? Oh, yum.
So we'll say 7:30? OK.
OK.
Great.
Bye.
- I'm selling the house.
- What? I thought it was time for a change.
But this is our home.
This is what breakfast was about.
Good for you, Mum.
If that's what you wanna do, that's great.
I can't believe you'd abuse pancakes like this.
You're not the only one who wants to travel, my dear.
I went to South America with $300 in my bank account.
You don't have to sell the house to travel.
Well, I don't have a mother to put $300 in my bank account.
It was $200 to get back to see my dying father, We should list it as soon as possible, see what interest we can get.
Well I've actually already listed it.
Oh.
What? How long have you been planning this? I cannot believe you never told us.
Tammy and I wanted to raise our kids here.
Oh What? What is so ridiculous about that? Nothing.
What, Billie wants to have kids so no-one else can? It's not the kids I have a problem with.
I knew it! You all hate her.
We don't hate her do we, Billie? Well, I don't hate her.
We just want you to be sure about her before you - The Proudman women strike again.
- Oh, Jimmy.
Jim? - Thanks for the guilt cakes.
- Oh, Jimmy.
Can you believe them? I mean, you've lived with her and you like her.
Yeah.
Every time they do it.
- Every single time.
- That's not true.
It is true.
The history of hostility between the Proudman women and Jimmy's girlfriends is deeply ingrained.
First was Tina, when Jimmy was 13.
She was sweet but had a vague sheep-like smell and often took a five-second pause before answering a question.
Then, at 15, was Christine.
She would have been quite well received if she wasn't second-year university.
Fast-forward through a colourful decade of women until we get to the compulsive liar with a police record before arriving, finally, at Tammy.
I won't say we're completely blameless in the whole thing.
But it doesn't help that Jimmy's type seem to be sociopathic manipulators with bizarre criminal urges.
I know she's not perfect, but this is the woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
Imagine if you and Fraser get married I do.
And all the family can say is how stupid it is.
How you'll be 50 when he's in the prime of his life.
Well, I won't be saying any of that.
Because he may not be perfect but if you feel that way about Fraser then none of the other shit matters.
Have a good day.
What way do you feel about Fraser? No! That's beside the point.
Right now you're his supervisor.
How would you handle this situation if he was any other student? Talk through the incident, find out the causes of the freeze.
You OK? Yes.
I'm good.
Good.
How are you? You've been in there for ages.
No.
You were there when I drove in and I was searching for a car space for almost 10 minutes.
I was finishing a radio program on piracy.
Just finished.
How's Fraser? Uh I tried calling him last night, three times, like I would any student.
Do you want me to take care of it? No.
It's my responsibility.
OK.
Alright.
Good.
See you in there.
He'll be expecting this.
He'll be expecting the conversation.
He knows that Shit, the ball.
I need a dress.
No, you're only thinking about the ball to distract yourself.
Are you always such a tight-arse? This is so exciting, I haven't felt this excited since I spoke to Bon Jovi at a bagel shop in South Yarra in 1995.
What about? Well, I was so beside myself all I could say was, "Hi.
" No.
What were you excited about? Nina? Oh! It's just a ball.
It's OK, Kim.
This might just be a ball to you, but to us, with babies, this is THE night.
OK? The one night where we get to cut loose.
OK? Yep.
Is Fraser here yet? Fraser? Dr King? - Hi, Nina.
- He's in at 10:00.
- How is he? - He's fine as far as I can tell.
- Are these my charts? - Oh, no.
No, no, no.
- They're the books for tonight.
- Books? - Bets.
Odds.
- How'd you go? Dr Clegg doing the spin-around dance is at 3 to 1.
You and Renee having a massive brawl is paying four, no offence.
Oh, none taken.
Safe as houses.
And Cherie passing out in the ladies' room is paying 20 bucks.
I've never done that.
That's why it's paying so much if you do.
Pay attention.
Look, do we have any charts with patients on them? So you are coming tonight, right, Dr Reid? Well, I don't want to miss out on all the drama and debauchery you're talking about tomorrow.
Do I? What does that mean? Is that a smirk? Does he mean me? What are the odds Patrick has got a blonde girlfriend? Mmm.
I'll take 2.
50, an even 3 for brunette and outside 10 for single.
- I'll put 10 bucks on blonde.
- Gimme 20.
Do we still have patients in the hospital or shall I go to the beach? - Nina, can I have a word? - Mm.
The thing is it was an incredibly acute PPH.
I'm not sure how I would have reacted when I first started out.
Yes.
He is only a first-year.
But then again, a defining requirement of any good surgeon is the ability to cope under pressure.
Like you and I, for example.
Socially we're abysmal failures but give us an ectopic pregnancy or a cord prolapse and we thrive.
We make confident, timely decisions.
- Tha thank you.
- Not at all.
Mmm.
The bottom line is we need to determine if Dr King has what it takes.
But, as always, if he has your confidence, he has mine too.
D'you reckon wearing Birkenstocks is a negative indication of character? I don't know.
- Who are we talking about? - Mick's brother.
He's wearing Birkenstocks in a lot of these photos.
What are you doing? I friended him.
Now I'm trawling through his personal information.
Isn't that a bit rude? No, it's just going through people's possessions without legal recourse.
Mmm.
Dad, you do realise, as Jimmy's father, he might actually go through with this wedding? Why wouldn't he? Because the girl that he wants to marry is annoying and wrong and she's she's draining the life out of him.
Ohh I like Tammy.
You would.
You haven't said any of this to Jimmy, have you? - Billie? - What? Have you spoken to Fraser yet? N-no.
No.
I haven't.
He's not at work yet.
Is the ball this ridiculous every year? They keep asking weird questions about whether I'm bringing a date.
They're placing bets on whether you bring a blonde or a brunette.
What odds? Uh, it's misguided, I love brunettes.
Did did you go to Martin about Dr King? Uh I, um he asked my opinion.
Well, he's my responsibility, Patrick, so if you have a problem with Fraser then come Fra Fraser.
- Sorry.
Uh, I'll come back.
- No.
- No.
- That's OK.
I can No.
You wait, please.
I know that I, uh, screwed up massively yesterday.
Um, I've thought it through and I'm confident that it will never happen again.
And I wanted to thank you both for your support and, well, basically for saving my arse OK.
Excuse me.
I have to go place a bet.
We're gonna have to sit down and and do a proper case review.
Yeah, look, Nina, um, I know that you spend most of your life looking after things for everyone else.
But just I want you to know that I'm not gonna be another thing that you have to sort out, OK? Why why didn't you return my calls last night? - Are you speaking as my supervisor? - I don't know.
I mean, um, no.
No.
I'm speaking as someone that's concerned for your wellbeing.
I was worried about you.
II tried calling.
I mean, I dialled but What? I didn't know if you'd be on my side.
I didn't know if you'd be angry.
I didn't I didn't know.
And I didn't want it to be strange.
Anyway, how about I just get back to work? So, a second chance.
Yeah.
- Don't sound too sure.
- Shut up.
Hey, has Billie said anything to you about Tammy? I don't think I'm gonna answer that on the grounds that it may incriminate me.
I knew it.
Look, if it makes you feel better, I always defend Tammy and I often tune out when Billie is talking.
Cheers, mate.
At least you're never going to die wondering what your sister thinks.
She's just very protective of you.
Well, it's like there's times, you know, where I feel like Billie and I are getting closer and then, I don't know, it's just shit.
I like her mate.
Tammy.
If she makes you happy that's all that matters.
And as your brother, I reckon I should get a vote.
Thanks, mate.
No worries, mate.
It's gonna be amazing.
It's an entire photo room full of costumes.
Get drunk and dress up.
Ooh, sounds like fun.
I think I just agreed to go to the ball with Martin Clegg.
You what? I didn't really realise what was going on.
Cherie, are you going to the ball tonight? Uh, yes.
Uh, would you like to share a lift? Uh share a car? Yes.
For the purposes of transport.
OK.
Excellent.
It was like I was in his tractor beam and there was no way out.
What am I gonna do? - OK.
We need a rescue signal.
- Like what? Like pretend to sneeze.
I can't pretend to sneeze.
Watch.
Achoo! OK.
It's really kind of hard.
I'll try again.
Achoo! Look, I'll think of something.
Uh, Nina, Mrs Jayce is in room 305 with the unstable lie.
Achoo! That was better.
She's due tomorrow but was told to check in.
Hey.
Did you speak with Fraser? Um, yeah, I did.
And how is everything? Well, he's convinced that it was a one-off.
We'll be doing a proper case review so Right.
I'll see you.
See you.
Hi.
Hi.
This ball thing is kind of a big deal, huh? Yes.
Certainly is.
Hey, um, I got my mum's car for the night if you you know, you want to go with me and sort of be my date.
It's not really like that.
You don't really take dates.
But OK.
Yep.
Do you want to pick me up at 7:00? Yeah.
But I've got exams tomorrow so I have to be at home by 12:00.
Great.
But does it have to be your home? You do realise you're not actually supposed to be here.
Really? Legally, but you know that.
Well, what if someone pinches something? That's what Phil Darabond's here for.
I just couldn't bear the thought of not hearing the comments that people made about the house.
Well, there's certainly one or two memories.
Mmm.
Many of which include our son, who seems to think that you said his marriage was a bad idea.
Excuse me, excuse me, it's not a gift shop.
Well, it is a bad idea.
Remember my mother before we got married? Mmm.
How could I forget her? Hated you.
- Hated you.
- What? She loved me.
Really? She said you may be beautiful but you had wolfs eyes and that our marriage was a colossal mistake.
- Wolfs eyes? - Mmm.
Well, she was right about our marriage, it was a disaster.
No, it wasn't.
Anyway, that's not the point.
The point is she had no right deciding what's right for us.
Darcy, you old hound.
Good to see you up and about.
It's so good when a heart attack ends with being alive, not being dead.
Geraldine, you do realise that technically you shouldn't be here.
Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone.
Alright.
- Anyway, I must dash.
- Mm-hm.
Good luck.
Thank you.
- Talk to Jimmy later, eh? - Mmm.
Have you had any discomfort? Yeah.
It feels like she's doing somersaults.
Mmm.
Unfortunately she hasn't found the exit sign just yet.
You can see her head there, just pointing toward the head.
Now, the good news is she'll be an amazing gymnast.
The bad news is she will have a horrible sense of direction.
So is she alright? Yeah.
No, she's gonna be absolutely fine.
We'll just do a caesarean to get her out.
Um, no, we talked about this.
I can't have a caesarean.
Mrs Jayce has drug allergies.
Better not to do a caesarean.
Yeah.
OK.
Um my apologies.
Um of course.
There's that look - again.
Everything is fine, Mrs Jayce.
What we'll do is we'll wait for the baby to get into a better position and then we'll induce labour.
Um, I'll I'll probably be back later on just to say hello and see how you're doing, OK? That wasn't even a crisis.
He froze in a consultation.
I guess now we know.
Oh.
Hello, Tammy.
Hi, Darcy.
Um, sorry, Jimmy's out digging holes with Mick.
But he should be back soon, though.
Oh, I'll leave you to it.
- I'll come back.
- No, no, no.
Stay.
I'm not doing anything.
I mean, he tries hard but Jimmy is just one of those people who floats, he just drifts.
But he really actually wants to build something, you know, like a business or something.
Don't get me wrong, I love his vagueness but sometimes you really have to nail something down, you know.
Hey, baby.
Ooh, sweaty.
Yuck.
Hey, Dad.
Hey.
- Everything OK? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just in the area and I thought I'd pop by.
Make sure you're OK, you know, about the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just a bit of a shock.
It's such a shame.
I can't believe she's getting rid of it.
Yeah.
I know you're a bit annoyed with your mum and Billie's thoughts on on the house.
So, uh, I thought maybe we should all just get together and have a bit of a chat about it.
Nina? Mmm? You have to back me up.
OK? If Clegg asks, I'm having a drink with you before the ball.
'Cause I said I wasn't gonna have them with him 'cause I'm having them with you.
Yeah.
What? - Yes.
Oh, good.
- Is everything OK? Yeah.
Just hang on a minute.
What did you just say to Fraser? I was seeing if I could help.
Then why did he leave? Don't know.
Curfew? I said I'd handle things, Patrick.
Nina, you're not the only person who works with Fraser.
You're also not the only person who cares about what happens here.
Just back off.
OK? Just don't speak to Fraser.
Don't go near him.
Do you think you may be a little too emotionally involved? Jimmy, I just want you to be sure.
- I am.
- Are you? - Yes.
- Are you? In spite of your doubts, Mum, yes, I am sure.
I think what your mother is trying to say is You don't like Tammy.
Liking has got nothing to do with it.
Jimmy she's wrong for you.
But you don't like her.
No.
I don't.
And if you marry her, you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life.
And there it is.
You've said it now.
You know what? I'm not gonna force you to endure Tammy's company anymore.
And I'm not gonna ask her to be around people who don't like her.
Let's just cut it now and save everyone the pain.
Jimmy? I love this girl and I'm marrying her.
That's exactly what I said to my mother.
Honey? You ready? Shit.
Wear the the shirt is good, the stripes.
Hey.
If Andrew is thinking about it do you think do you reckon it's a good sign he's coming tonight? I mean, he wouldn't come if the answer was no, would he? I mean, he wouldn't want to disappoint us to our faces.
- Is that the sort of thing he'd do? - I don't know, Billie.
Well, when you were kids, was he the kind of kid that would You mean, what would my brother have done if, at the age of 15, I'd asked him to donate his sperm to me? Did he avoid confrontation or was he more of a I do not know him well enough to know what he's gonna say.
Well, I've been thinking about this and this is a turning point for you and Andrew.
You want to glue my family back together with sperm? Well, yeah.
In a way.
Yeah.
Look, what if he says no? What's wrong? I'm all I'm saying is not everybody does things just because Billie Proudman wants them to.
OK.
Sorry.
We'll just We'll forget the family stuff and we'll go and we'll just just go.
Shoes.
Oh, God, this is tight.
Hey, Neens.
Hi.
You look nice.
Thanks.
Do you like Tammy? What? Direct question.
How to be honest without being a bitch.
Uh, um Actually, I don't warm to her that easily, Jimmy.
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
But like you said, if if you love her then that's all that matters.
Enjoy the ball.
You're a bitch.
I need a drink.
You still haven't dealt with Fraser.
You should have sorted it at work.
Hasn't been an opportunity at work.
He'll be here soon.
I don't l don't know how to word it.
You say, "Fraser, you need to find a speciality that doesn't involve "decision-making in critical situations.
"You're not cut out to be an obstetrician.
" - Well, I'm not doing it tonight.
- No.
That's right.
'Cause tonight you're gonna pretend that you haven't gone cold on him.
I haven't gone cold on him.
I haven't.
I'm not like that.
II care for him.
But you don't want him anymore.
Maybe maybe if he's not my student, maybe I can be his girlfriend.
Then what? Let the relationship die a slow death over a period of months? Just because he froze at work Look, the fact that he froze at work is just your excuse.
You knew right from the start you should never have got involved with a student.
You didn't want to overthink things so you didn't think at all.
You've made a huge mistake and you have hurt that young man.
- Uh, Nina.
- Mmm.
Oh, no.
No, no, I'm I'm Oh, no, it's not a um, it's just a thank you.
Well, um, to say that I hope that I become half the doctor that you are and I hope that you are patient enough to stick with me until I do.
Oh, that that's just it's beautiful, thank you.
Come on.
Let's go.
Hi.
Hi.
Andrew.
Hi.
Hey, Mick.
- You look amazing.
- Oh, thank you.
I didn't really know what to wear, you know.
It's a sperm date.
Yeah, I just usually try and keep to smart casual, make sure I've got clean undies on.
So, is it good news? Sorry.
Sorry, I promised I wouldn't say anything until main course.
I just can't get it out of my brain and I know that there are questions that, you know, we need to sort out but in general, you know, in principle, are you open to this? Um, I do have some questions and I think we should have some wine first.
But, um, yes I am very much open to it.
Yes.
I spent quite some time researching ties.
And, uh, after much deliberation Mmm.
It's very dignified.
Cherie? Yes? Um, don't you think that Kim turns into another person at these things? The joys of married life, hey? Bet you're sorry you don't have that.
- Don't.
- What? - Don't do that either.
- What? Make out like I am the problem.
I am your partner.
I am here with you at this event and I would like your support.
Is that so much to ask? - Can I still put money on that fight? - It's called match-fixing.
- That's a nice bracelet, Nina.
- Oh, thank you.
I'm just I'm gonna go and freshen up.
You look lovely.
Oh, so do you.
Wild bunch.
It's Patrick.
Ka-ching! He's alone.
I just made 70 bucks.
OK.
That's one race finished.
But there's plenty still to go, people.
Why are you so concerned if Patrick is alone? Excuse me.
So Fraser's over there.
Does that mean I can't go to that half of the ballroom? - Or what distance should I keep? - Piss off.
Nina.
It's dancing time, it's dancing time.
- No.
I'm not dancing.
No, Cherie.
- No, no, no.
Nina, this is the most important thing I've ever asked of you.
No.
No.
- Want to dance? - I'm gonna go call the babysitter.
- Zara? - OK.
Hi.
Come on, have a seat.
Doctor.
No.
I don't see the winery as a failure.
First, I was inexperienced.
Second, the grapes were blighted.
Third, I had no idea what I was doing.
Actually, I had all the talent of a one-armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse.
But there, that's when I found out what I was good at which was selling the stuff.
Was that before or after Dad got sick, Andrew? Knew we'd get there.
- Just relax, Neens.
- I am relaxed.
This, um see, this is me relaxed.
I'm dancing.
Yeah, right.
It's a party.
This is so unfair.
I'm up here dancing when I should be having a deeply honest conversation with Fraser.
What must this look like to him? Ha! Did it! - I just won 50 bucks.
- That is cheating.
What are you laughing at? You doing crap dancing was paying five.
For a minute I didn't think we'd get there, but we got there.
- Can we go and talk? - Yep.
We can, yeah.
Ahh! I'm kind of getting the vibe that you're basically not into me anymore, yeah? - No.
It's not it's not - Really? Because you've been giving me the deep-freeze since we got here.
Well, I've just I've been trying to think I'm just You can't even be honest with me, can you? I don't I don't I don't think we have a future together.
Wow.
OK.
Right.
Well, what happened? What, I make another mistake at work and now you don't like me? No, I do, I like you.
I do like you.
Really? I was your toy that you got sick of.
Shh.
No, I'm not.
No.
- Oi, photo time.
- No.
- They don't like me, do they? - Yes, they do.
Liar.
I don't care what they think.
Where are we going? Memory lane.
Loser.
Oh, Peru? Muy bien.
Come inside.
Just us? You and me against the world.
Just like that time when we broke down in the mountains with that driver we thought was going to totally dismember us and sell our organs and we had to sleep in that chicken coop.
I'd only known you for three days but when you smiled at the idea of sleeping in a chicken coop, I knew I could be with you forever.
So how far away were you, Andrew? How many k's? - Maybe five, Mick? - Five! As many as that? Oh, it's no wonder we never saw you.
Piss off.
I think I should get the bill.
Oh, no, no, no.
You save your cash for your next big venture.
You know, I'd find your resentment a bit more interesting if it wasn't such a load of shit.
Well, while you were off having a grand old time, I was stuck here, by myself, wiping Dad's chin as he coughed up his insides for four fucking years.
- Are you serious? - You just walked away.
Well, I offered to pay for a nurse.
Oh, God forbid you'd get your hands dirty, Andrew.
Mick! Shit.
Dad was You you had your fishing trips and your all-night guitar sessions in the shed.
Dad hated me.
He didn't hate you.
- Wake up! - You were his son.
I was his faggot son.
I don't think this is going to work out.
Thanks for dinner, Billie.
I'm sorry.
Mick.
Fraser? You maybe had a bit too much to drink.
I need a hat.
How about we get out of here? No.
Come on.
- No.
I'm fine.
- Look, you're not.
I am! OK? Fraser, listen to me, listen to me.
You said, "Let's keep work and sex separate.
" But they're not.
Shh.
What I said was Yeah, but how are you going to be my teacher in the morning if you broke up with me now? OK.
Well, I thought perhaps if you would concentrate No, I don't want to do - Come on, Nina, just say it.
- I don't want to.
Come on.
You don't think that I'm cut out to be an obstetrician, do you? No.
I don't.
I don't think you have what it takes.
I'm so sorry.
- Fraser.
- Hey, mate.
Mate? - Come on.
Buddy? - Just leave me alone, I said.
I had no idea that's how you felt.
You and me there's stuff to, you know, sort out or not.
I mean, we could ignore it.
Ignoring it is an effective strategy.
The thing is this.
I love that woman and I want to have a baby with her.
But I can't do it without you.
What? Never thought I'd hear someone in our family say that word.
You love her.
Yeah.
I do.
That's nice to love someone.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
You still like Italian guys? - Italian guys? - Yeah.
You used to like them.
I liked one Italian guy.
Yeah.
But you liked him a lot.
Sure did.
- I'm right.
- OK.
You OK? It's not his fault.
I should have known better.
It's no-one's fault.
I'll take you home.
No.
I just I want to sit here for a minute.
I just want to watch him.
You probably can't comfort him on this one.
I just want to sit with him for a bit.
I'll see you at work.
- Where are you going? - Moving out.
I'm sorry we've overstayed our welcome.
No.
Jimmy, I No.
I don't want you to Where are you going? Hey.
You don't have to be upset.
Andrew said he'll do it.
Jimmy won't speak to me.
Oh!