One Mississippi (2015) s02e05 Episode Script

1 One Mississippi 2x05 "Can't Fight This Feeling" Jambalaya, crawfish pie, file' gumbo 'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my ma chere Amie-o Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou And the dark all day Teach us love again - Yeah, I like that one.
- Me too.
Hey, um, be honest.
Do these glasses work for me? Yeah.
The really frame your face nicely.
Thank you.
All right.
The pitch playlist is officially complete.
- We're going to New Zealand.
- Oh, my Gosh.
- We are.
- Oh, my gosh.
I'd wait until you talk to Jack before you start getting all giddy.
- I can't help myself.
- I'm so excited.
When I was doing research, I found this really cute art town near Auckland, and check out this house.
Wow.
That looks like it's in the middle of nowhere.
Isn't it incredible? And I emailed the owner to see if he'd rent it to us.
Us? As in you and I sharing this house? Of course.
Why? Is there a problem? Yeah, that's definitely a problem.
Oh, because of Cassandra? Cassandra, and no, that's over.
She was way too into the whole power gay scene.
Oh.
That's too bad.
What? I don't know.
You just seem relieved.
I guess I'm just happy that she's not stopping you from going to New Zealand.
Okay.
So, how is this going to go? You and I are just gal pals living together in a Hobbit hut in a country where we know no one else? Yeah.
Yeah, that doesn't work for me.
But why? Because every time I look at you, I just picture us growing old together in our little wheelchairs holding hands.
Oh.
You know, maybe you should just pitch something to Jack that doesn't have anything to do with me.
Right.
All right.
I'm gonna head out.
I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah.
Bye.
What are you doing? Nothing.
Stop it, I'm tired.
I don't want to wake Teeny up.
Okay, sure.
Whatever you say.
Des, I mean it.
I'm serious.
Look, I think I saw her eyes flutter open.
So? She don't know what we're doing.
Besides, it's been days.
Mama needs some sugar.
Stop it.
I'm not gonna have sex with you in front of the baby.
Okay, fine.
Geez.
Whoa, you look exhausted.
Thank you.
Kate and I worked really late last night, and then I couldn't sleep at all.
Oh, trying to get with a straight girl is keeping you up? Um, I am not, nor would I ever, try to get with a straight girl.
Kate's into me, she's just in denial.
Yeah, you sound pretty confident.
- Maybe you're in denial.
- No, I deny that.
Look, if you want my advice, stop chasing the girl you can't have or you're never gonna find love.
You know what? Maybe hold off on ye olde relationship advice until you've been with someone for a month.
Actually, we're celebrating our one-month anniversary tomorrow.
I hope I get an invite to that party.
Wow, that's quite the production line you've got going on there.
Well, yeah.
Once this one came along, I became the queen of multitasking.
Hi, Destiny.
[BABY LAUGHING.]
Oh, are you smiling at Miss Tiggy? Are you smiling, you little tease.
Oh, she's such a flirt, isn't she? Uh, babies don't flirt or tease.
They're not looking to hook up.
What is going on here? - Oh, sorry.
- I know, I kind of took over.
I had meant to have this all cleared up before you all came down, but for some reason, my milk was just flowing like a river today.
Yes.
Well, in the future, I would appreciate it if you would, uh conduct your business in another area.
You want a chewy? What are they doing in that bowl? Isn't it fun? I just love having snacks in fancy bowls.
It makes everything feel so cozy.
- I hope you don't mind.
- I most certainly do mind.
That bowl is a family heirloom.
It was given to me by my mother on my wedding day.
It most definitely is not designed for chewies.
Oh, my bad.
You know what, I'll just clean it right out.
[BABY CRYING.]
Oops.
I'll just get a broom.
Hi, Destiny.
Hi.
Is he gone? Yeah, you're safe.
You are so good with her.
- Aw.
- You never wanted kids? Oh, no, I definitely do.
Just it's a whole thing for me to have one.
Well, this one sure has taken a shine to you, just like with Remy.
Oh, the instant she saw him, she fell in love.
Just like your Mama, ain't that right, Teeny? You really knew you loved Remy the moment you saw him? Oh, yeah.
There was something about his eyes, and his butt.
His butt? Really? So, what can you tell me about all his other girlfriends? What other girlfriends? Come on.
Don't tell me that a stone-cold fox like your brother ain't been playing the field.
I mean, he's dated, but he hasn't had a girlfriend since high school.
Really? How come? - I don't know.
- You'd have to ask him.
Isn't that right? Isn't that right? [BABY LAUGHING.]
Hey, I'm just finishing up an email, come on in.
Oh, could you close the door, please? Oh, yeah, sure.
Thanks.
Okay.
So, New Zealand? Yeah.
So Tig actually doesn't want to move to New Zealand, so I was thinking I would find someone else similar to Tig but who wants to be a Trump refugee.
- Well, I'd go with you.
- Yeah.
I mean, obviously there's no one like Tig, but I'd look for someone who sees things in that same clear, hilarious way.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you'd go too, of course.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Um I mean, I I definitely want to get out of here.
Yeah, right? Go go on.
Tell me.
[GRUNTS.]
Cool.
Uh, let's let's keep talking.
Sorry, I know I'm late.
I changed the playlist last minute.
Can you call up these songs really fast? Yeah, sure.
Before I was officially diagnosed with cancer, I was literally riddled with signs that it was there.
My girlfriend was the first to notice the lumps in my breast, and I remember her standing her there with this scared look on her face.
And instead of investigating, I just made a joke about it, like, oh, no, I have cancer, I'm dying.
And the crazy thing is, of course, I did have cancer and I didn't know it.
Or I did know it, and I just didn't want to know it because I was afraid.
Anyway, I was just thinking about how people ignore the truth when they just can't deal with it for whatever reason.
What do you think about that, Kate? Hello? Sorry, were you talking to me? Evidently not.
Well, you're quite right.
This is very refreshing.
I make a habit of coming out here once a day, weather permitting.
You know, it was quite eye opening to learn that Reagan's war on drugs was more or less a smokescreen for segregationists.
I always assumed that our nation's laws and practices, however imperfect, were at least aimed at protecting people.
They were.
White people.
I am impressed by your taking the time to inform yourself.
I have always taken a great pleasure in learning new things.
I once spent three weeks unlocking the secret of a perfect philodome.
Really? My chicken bastilla is quite frankly out of this world.
Well, now I am intrigued.
I love Moroccan food.
Would you happen to be free this evening? I could make it for you.
That would be lovely, Bill.
Thank you.
Shall we say 7:00? - That's fine.
- Wonderful.
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
I can't believe I missed that last cue.
I'm I'm so distracted.
- Yeah, I noticed.
- Sorry.
This weird happened with Jack.
I went in for my meeting, and then he started doing this crazy thing.
- Hey, Jack.
- Hey, what's up? I don't know, maybe you can tell me.
My colleague said she witnessed something pretty disturbing in your office this morning.
Uh, I don't know what you're talking about.
She said you masturbated in front of her.
What? You can't be serious.
Actually, I'm very serious.
Oh, come on, that's ridiculous.
Why would I do something like that? I have no idea.
Um, look, I don't know what you think you saw, but you definitely didn't see me masturbating.
No, you were definitely masturbating.
No.
I was probably just scratching myself.
Shoot me, I have jock itch.
I can't believe he just lied to my face like that.
I know.
Ezra's back tomorrow.
We'll talk to him.
That's the world we live in now.
It's all just lies.
"Shoot me, I have jock itch"? What a fucking loser.
Are you sure you're okay to be alone tonight? I mean, you seem pretty worked up.
I'm fine.
Where are my car keys? Where are my fucking keys? Here's another option.
I mean, you could also just come over and we could hang out.
You could calm down a little bit, and we could order some food.
Something that doesn't require knives.
- What about my car? - Just leave it here.
You could crash at our place.
Sleep in your own little bed.
Sure, that'd be great.
Okay.
Great.
- Oh, hey Bill.
- Good grief.
Hey, don't worry about the mess.
We'll clean it all up when we're done.
No, but what are you putting in my oven? Lamb.
Remy said you love it.
Des has been in here all afternoon cooking up a storm for you.
I just feel so awful about breaking your bowl.
But I need my kitchen.
I have a guest coming for dinner.
A guest? Coming here? Yes.
Felicia.
You met her at the hospital when I had my ear crystals.
- Well, that's perfect.
- There'll be plenty extra.
- Just have your date come too.
- Oh, no.
She isn't I mean, we aren't we just enjoy each other's company and have a shared interest in Moroccan food, which she will be expecting this evening.
So now I have to call and cancel.
Don't cancel, just invite her.
I feel like he hates me.
That's just Bill being Bill.
Come on, no one could hate you.
You're perfect.
We got about 45 minutes until the next basting.
You want to go upstairs and get it on? What about the baby? She'll be asleep for another hour.
We can put her in the closet if you want.
I don't know.
She might still hear us.
Well, what if we do it somewhere in the house? Where? - How about Tig's room? - Are you crazy? We can't have sex in my sister's bedroom.
Fine.
Then I am calling Maryann to take Destiny tonight.
She owes me, and so do you, mister.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Felicia.
Hello, Bill.
Please, come in.
All right.
Oh, hey, Felicia.
Nice to see you again.
- It's Remy.
- I remember.
- How are you? - Good.
Good.
I'm so glad Bill changed his mind about having you come tonight.
I'm gonna go get another plate for the table.
I'm sorry.
Remy and his girlfriend decided to surprise me by making dinner tonight.
I see now you must not have gotten my message canceling our plans.
You must've called while we were at the florist trying to return these flowers I chose for my daughter's wedding tomorrow.
The wedding is tomorrow? Mm.
I had no idea.
Do you have things that you need to be doing? They don't even want a rehearsal dinner.
- I see.
- So please, take these.
Well, thank you.
This is all very awkward.
I'm sure a meal with my family is not what you expected.
No, but it sounds lovely.
Wonderful.
Listen, I'm certainly not an impressionist, but here's my best impression.
Am I Larry David? Or am I Joan Rivers.
Oh, Larry.
No, it's me, Joan.
- Okay.
- Maybe it's not that good.
I'm gonna grab a menu from the kitchen.
An appetizer while you wait? Thank you.
Hello, Tig.
Oh, my God, you scared me.
Felicia? It's so nice to see you again.
Nice to see you, too.
And who is this young lady? Oh, Bill, Felicia, this is my pal, Kate.
Hi.
Um Anyone else going blind from the darkness, or is it just me? Those light are on a timer.
Okay.
Well, we're gonna grab some food.
I believe that Remy and Desiree are about to serve dinner.
- Please join us.
- No, we're good, thanks.
Tig, I didn't know you were here.
I just suggesting that Tig and her friend join us this evening.
Yeah, of course, you have to.
- Hey, I'm Remy.
- Hi, Kate.
Oh, hey, I've heard all about you.
So Des just ran up to get changed, but dinner's basically ready, so why don't you all sit down? No.
I promised Kate a mellow evening in.
I thought we'd order some dinner.
- No, I'm into it.
- Great.
I'll grab two more plates.
Ah.
Anyway, everywhere I go, people stop me and tell me how beautiful Destiny is.
The man at the store was like, you need to get her in a pageant right now.
Are there baby pageants? Oh, yeah.
It costs like 400 bucks to sign up.
Mm, money well spent.
Does anybody want some more cornbread? Felicia? Oh, no, thank you.
I'm quite full.
Everything was delicious.
Yes, thank you for dinner.
Well, I know it doesn't make up for me breaking your wedding bowl.
No.
You can never make up for something that's irreplaceable.
I don't think Mom even liked those dishes.
- I mean, she never used them.
- Yeah.
She always preferred putting the hors d'oeuvres in the bedpan that she got from the hospital - after her car accident.
- Yeah.
And serving cocktail garnishes with the pins - they used to set her toes.
- Yes.
- She was rather madcap.
- Indeed.
I found the cutest little picture of Remy when I was setting the table.
I'll get it.
Oh, I just love that little t-shirt.
It's so cute how kids believe in dinosaurs, isn't it? What do you mean by believe? Well, you know, how they think they're real and everything.
Do you not think they existed? Well, I've never seen one, have you? Um, no, but I have seen their bones in the museum.
Oh, please.
Just because somebody digs up something that looks like a bone and some scientist plugs it into a computer and calls it whatever, doesn't make it true.
I've seen the documentary called Jurassic Park, and it's kind of hard to argue with that.
Well, I too am a woman of faith, and I embrace science.
I believe that it is God's way of helping us to understand our world.
We all have our ways of understanding the world.
That's a nice way of putting it.
Yes, we do.
Spike? I can't tell you how pleased I am that you never received my message canceling this evening.
Thank you.
I had a lovely time.
Are you leaving? I have the wedding tomorrow.
Of course.
Well, I would still like to make you my bastilla some time.
Oh! Excuse me.
It's another piece from my wedding set.
Well, I appreciate your offer to make me dinner, but I must decline.
I don't understand.
Well, truthfully, I do not think that we are on the same page.
I've been single for quite some time, and I'm ready for a relationship, and I'm nothing like your wife who was clearly very spirited.
And I am more of a quiet-type person.
Felicia, uh, I must tell you, and honestly, I don't know what I'm saying, but as much as I loved my wife, it was only meeting you that I realized what it was to truly connect to a woman, if I may be so bold.
If I may be so bold, I feel very much the same way.
- Should we clean it up? - No.
Oh, thanks.
You don't have to do that.
Oh, it's no problem.
Hey, do you mind if I ask, are you and Tig like together or are y'all just friends? Oh, we're friends.
Okay.
I thought so.
Because I was like there is no way somebody who looks you would be like that.
- Why not? - Excuse me? - I mean, why couldn't I be gay? - It's not like it's impossible.
Yeah, but why would you want to? God didn't make those parts to go together.
I mean, what do they even do? Right? I mean, it seems like it should be so intuitive, but it's not.
Like, with a guy and girl you basically know your role and what's expected of you, but with two women, it's like, what is that dynamic, you know? Like, are you both doing the same thing? Well, that's just primal.
I mean, if you want a woman, you just want to touch her and and feel her body and just not be in your head so much, and just friggin' let loose and just go for it.
And if you can't do that, then maybe you shouldn't be with a woman.
Hmm.
[GIGGLING.]
Do you not like girls? What? No.
No, why would you say that? I don't know.
You just seem so weird sometimes, like you're not into me.
I'm totally into you.
I I just think I have a hard time showing it sometimes.
Okay.
No, look at me.
I love you.
I feel like I want to marry you and and be a dad to Teeny.
You do? Oh! Good night, Katherine.
Good night, Tig-aligal.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Say, what do you think of my new glasses? Too busy? Oh, I don't think so.
Oh.
Love is overtaking me And my heart pounds out Your name in the night It's the same when I see you cry Taking it over Like the sun shines gloriously Through the sky I know it seems like we just met Oh, but it's so different now Is it so different now Is it so different now Just the way I feel